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Anon likes Pepsi | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/19(Sat)14:54:36 No.795694829 >be me, cat >sleeping from long day of being a cat >feel something cold on my head >wake up >w-- >owner standing there laughing like a retard while recording me >look up 73 KB JPG >can of coke on my had >tfw i like pepsi more >mfw no pepsi 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/23/19(Sat)14:56:35 No.795694917 >>795694829 (OP) # That's actually a pretty cute post. Too good for this site.
: Anonymous 03/23/19(Sat)14:54:36 No.795694829 >be me, cat >sleeping from long day of being a cat >feel something cold on my head >wake up >w-- >owner standing there laughing like a retard while recording me >look up 73 KB JPG >can of coke on my had >tfw i like pepsi more >mfw no pepsi 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/23/19(Sat)14:56:35 No.795694917 >>795694829 (OP) # That's actually a pretty cute post. Too good for this site.

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Anon hurt his ankle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)07:08:15 No.63265630 >go frolicking in the fields >twist my ankle on a rock real bad >go to doctors office >they tell me l've badly damaged it >have to stay off it for awhile >can't go frolicking in the fields for 44 KB JPG at least two more weeks
: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)07:08:15 No.63265630 >go frolicking in the fields >twist my ankle on a rock real bad >go to doctors office >they tell me l've badly damaged it >have to stay off it for awhile >can't go frolicking in the fields for 44 KB JPG at least two more weeks

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They already succeeded anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)20:02:04 No.852359323 >close eyes, 5:52 pm >hallucinate femboy furry within the darkness of my eyelids >open eyes in fear THEY'RE TRYING TO GET INTO MY MIND TO TURN ME GAY 53 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)20:02:04 No.852359323 >close eyes, 5:52 pm >hallucinate femboy furry within the darkness of my eyelids >open eyes in fear THEY'RE TRYING TO GET INTO MY MIND TO TURN ME GAY 53 KB JPG

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Anon is white | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)21:47:48 No.63258093 >wake up >white male 139 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)21:47:48 No.63258093 >wake up >white male 139 KB JPG

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Anon makes dinner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)16:37:46 No.852350095 >midnight snack >make nachos with doritos instead of torilla chips >eat all the ones with the least amount of cheese first >saving best for last > pick up the last nacho, giant dorito with 153 KB PNG tons of cheese >it falls on the ground thats it, im killing myself tonight : Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)16:38:28 No.852350133 Fat ass
: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)16:37:46 No.852350095 >midnight snack >make nachos with doritos instead of torilla chips >eat all the ones with the least amount of cheese first >saving best for last > pick up the last nacho, giant dorito with 153 KB PNG tons of cheese >it falls on the ground thats it, im killing myself tonight : Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)16:38:28 No.852350133 Fat ass

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Anon is listening to music | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)02:35:28 No.852349983 >be me >live alone >in bed listening to music >hear someone cough in song >go back to part in the song where person 14 KB JPG coughed to make sure it was in the song >don't hear it this time >oh s---.png
: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)02:35:28 No.852349983 >be me >live alone >in bed listening to music >hear someone cough in song >go back to part in the song where person 14 KB JPG coughed to make sure it was in the song >don't hear it this time >oh s---.png

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pretty weird dream ifam | /r/Greentext

>weird dream last night >am in a restaurant with Trump >he tells s----- boomer jokes >grabs the waitress by the p---- then tells me he can do it since he is the president >suddenly Hercule Poirot comes in >exposes Trump who is in fact just an orange football with a wig on a broom in a suit >tells me l'm arrested to for having a small d--- >wake up >wonder how Poirot knew I have a small d--- >realize all this doesn't make sense so get out of bed to have breakfast and how was your morning, Anons?
>weird dream last night >am in a restaurant with Trump >he tells s----- boomer jokes >grabs the waitress by the p---- then tells me he can do it since he is the president >suddenly Hercule Poirot comes in >exposes Trump who is in fact just an orange football with a wig on a broom in a suit >tells me l'm arrested to for having a small d--- >wake up >wonder how Poirot knew I have a small d--- >realize all this doesn't make sense so get out of bed to have breakfast and how was your morning, Anons?

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"Dear god what have I done" | /r/Greentext


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Anon is alive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)09:20:57 No.63254884 >wake up >realise that I am still alive the horror 188 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)09:20:57 No.63254884 >wake up >realise that I am still alive the horror 188 KB PNG

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anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)21:41:13 No.63265334 >Talking to a therapist, she asks me about my sexual history >Tell her I'm a virgin still at WHAM 28 I did. eskt. >"Oh, so you're asexual?" >"No, I'm not, I want to 55 KB JPG have sex I just haven't." >"What do you mean?" >"What do you mean what do I mean?" >"You can't tell me you've honestly been trying this long and are still a virgin?" >mfw I didn't know what to f------ say to that and she changed the subject. Therapy is f------ useless. View Thread
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)21:41:13 No.63265334 >Talking to a therapist, she asks me about my sexual history >Tell her I'm a virgin still at WHAM 28 I did. eskt. >"Oh, so you're asexual?" >"No, I'm not, I want to 55 KB JPG have sex I just haven't." >"What do you mean?" >"What do you mean what do I mean?" >"You can't tell me you've honestly been trying this long and are still a virgin?" >mfw I didn't know what to f------ say to that and she changed the subject. Therapy is f------ useless. View Thread

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someone get a therapist for that poor therapist | /r/Greentext

View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO 1422937772596.jpg, 56KİB, 633x758 Anonymous Thu 19 Mar 2015 04:39:38 No.17201735 | Quoted By: >>17201837 >>17201864 >>17201890 >>17202626 >>17202664 >>17202668 >>17203799 Report >tell my psychologist about r9k, chad, normalfags, pepe, wojak and show her some threads I made >almost doubles my medication by the time it's over and tells me to stay away from toxic environments >can't forget the f------ look on her face as I showed her my reaction image folder and scrolled through 1200 frog pictures
View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO 1422937772596.jpg, 56KİB, 633x758 Anonymous Thu 19 Mar 2015 04:39:38 No.17201735 | Quoted By: >>17201837 >>17201864 >>17201890 >>17202626 >>17202664 >>17202668 >>17203799 Report >tell my psychologist about r9k, chad, normalfags, pepe, wojak and show her some threads I made >almost doubles my medication by the time it's over and tells me to stay away from toxic environments >can't forget the f------ look on her face as I showed her my reaction image folder and scrolled through 1200 frog pictures

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Anon looks on the bright side | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)14:17:39 No.63258486 EyFyyU7XAAI6pWb.png 1.69 MB PNG >TFW socially retarded af >TFW maxxed out the ability to pick out the right music for people >TFW will never know true love or friendship but at least get to have fun being the extended family's weird private DJ Could be worse.
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)14:17:39 No.63258486 EyFyyU7XAAI6pWb.png 1.69 MB PNG >TFW socially retarded af >TFW maxxed out the ability to pick out the right music for people >TFW will never know true love or friendship but at least get to have fun being the extended family's weird private DJ Could be worse.

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Odd man out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)03:11:20 No.63191644 What's the most f----- up nightmare you've had anons? Here's mine >2013 >103F fever 40 KB JPG >sleeping after hours of tossing and turning >"wake up" in my old bed at my old house >everything is dark, hear noise coming from downstairs >walk downstairs into the kitchen >mom is standing over the stove, hunched over and still >call out >she slowly lift her head backwards to face me >eyes wide and pitch black, as is mouth >her whole body leans back, cracking while doing so, twitches and starts skittering towards me like an insect >dart upstairs >brother and dad are the same, both on the hallway walls >jump on me >wake up in a cold sweat Still think about it daily to this day.
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)03:11:20 No.63191644 What's the most f----- up nightmare you've had anons? Here's mine >2013 >103F fever 40 KB JPG >sleeping after hours of tossing and turning >"wake up" in my old bed at my old house >everything is dark, hear noise coming from downstairs >walk downstairs into the kitchen >mom is standing over the stove, hunched over and still >call out >she slowly lift her head backwards to face me >eyes wide and pitch black, as is mouth >her whole body leans back, cracking while doing so, twitches and starts skittering towards me like an insect >dart upstairs >brother and dad are the same, both on the hallway walls >jump on me >wake up in a cold sweat Still think about it daily to this day.

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Anon is too quick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)19:46:24 No.63257304 Do robots go to prostitutes? >Be me >21, touchless virgin >Look up for a local h----- >l get all my s--- together and call her 27 KB JPG >We finnaly meet >Want payment in advance >Okay, i guess >She grab my d--- to put on the condom >l coomed on her hands >Wow you didn't last long... I feel ashamed. Fuckn scamers.
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)19:46:24 No.63257304 Do robots go to prostitutes? >Be me >21, touchless virgin >Look up for a local h----- >l get all my s--- together and call her 27 KB JPG >We finnaly meet >Want payment in advance >Okay, i guess >She grab my d--- to put on the condom >l coomed on her hands >Wow you didn't last long... I feel ashamed. Fuckn scamers.

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Anon learns about the bush war | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/17(Wed)09:11:28 No.79676775 >>7967593% This reminds me of something I read from the Bush War >Rhodies recover enemy rifles after each engagement >They keep finding rifles with the rear sight dialed in to the highest setting, practically f------ indirect fire >They are extremely confused by this >Eventually they ask a prisoner about it during interrogation >Literally none of them know what the sights are for, they think that choosing the bigger number makes the gun shoot harder Warfare in Africa is truly unbelievable >>79678011 # >>79678022 # >>79678742 #
: Anonymous 02/22/17(Wed)09:11:28 No.79676775 >>7967593% This reminds me of something I read from the Bush War >Rhodies recover enemy rifles after each engagement >They keep finding rifles with the rear sight dialed in to the highest setting, practically f------ indirect fire >They are extremely confused by this >Eventually they ask a prisoner about it during interrogation >Literally none of them know what the sights are for, they think that choosing the bigger number makes the gun shoot harder Warfare in Africa is truly unbelievable >>79678011 # >>79678022 # >>79678742 #

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Anon wastes his life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/17(Tue)09:52:59 No.38148964 >it'll get better in high school >it'll get better in college >it'l' get better in university >it will get better when i have a job >ive wasted my entire f------ life, my youth is gone ive missed out 142 KB PNG on love and any important milestones in a normal persons life View Thread
: Anonymous 07/04/17(Tue)09:52:59 No.38148964 >it'll get better in high school >it'll get better in college >it'l' get better in university >it will get better when i have a job >ive wasted my entire f------ life, my youth is gone ive missed out 142 KB PNG on love and any important milestones in a normal persons life View Thread

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anon is gonna rob a child | /r/Greentext

File: received_789393111995509.jpg (6 KB, 224x224) O Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)17:24:08 No.852313184 >Ве you >Be Home alone >Mfw
File: received_789393111995509.jpg (6 KB, 224x224) O Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)17:24:08 No.852313184 >Ве you >Be Home alone >Mfw

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:27:59 No.63252671 >be me >in my house with an umbrella >its blue with a sharp point at the top >there's this big ass rat in my house >have to kill it FuceApp 71 KB JPG >I stab at the rat with my umbrella trying to get a headshot >keep missing >this mf is comin for me >finally secure the one tap >distinctly remember the feeling of hitting its skull with my umbrella >no damage is done and the rat is upon me >l am bitten >I wake up I dont know what this means, if anything. I dont remember most of my dreams but this one stuck for some reason
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)01:27:59 No.63252671 >be me >in my house with an umbrella >its blue with a sharp point at the top >there's this big ass rat in my house >have to kill it FuceApp 71 KB JPG >I stab at the rat with my umbrella trying to get a headshot >keep missing >this mf is comin for me >finally secure the one tap >distinctly remember the feeling of hitting its skull with my umbrella >no damage is done and the rat is upon me >l am bitten >I wake up I dont know what this means, if anything. I dont remember most of my dreams but this one stuck for some reason

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Anon do the right | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come 17 KB JPG >she was too drunk after party to drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?
: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come 17 KB JPG >she was too drunk after party to drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?

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Anon proceeds to clap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Dlek3b1E) 10/02/17(Mon)06:34:57 No.143698450 >Another witness, speaking to ABC News, described how "chaotic" the scene was as the incident unfolded. >"It kind of sounded first like loud clapping coming off and then I think there was the first volley [of shots] 25 KB JPG and all of a sudden a second volley and my buddy's like '1 just got hit'. First we had no idea what was happening we thought people were just clapping extremely hard and we joined the clapping H-------- I wish I was making this up : Anonymous (ID: fcJ+pTj 10/02/17(Mon)06:36:33 No.143698620 >be American >get shot >start clapping >everyone else claps too 44 KB GIF
: Anonymous (ID: Dlek3b1E) 10/02/17(Mon)06:34:57 No.143698450 >Another witness, speaking to ABC News, described how "chaotic" the scene was as the incident unfolded. >"It kind of sounded first like loud clapping coming off and then I think there was the first volley [of shots] 25 KB JPG and all of a sudden a second volley and my buddy's like '1 just got hit'. First we had no idea what was happening we thought people were just clapping extremely hard and we joined the clapping H-------- I wish I was making this up : Anonymous (ID: fcJ+pTj 10/02/17(Mon)06:36:33 No.143698620 >be American >get shot >start clapping >everyone else claps too 44 KB GIF

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