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Anon doesn't like r/greentext | /r/Greentext

File: 345350698bde3a455a509735e.).jpg (10 KB, 227x220) O Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)22:39:22 No.63280798 >be me >post greentext about scaring alphas in the bathroom >barely get any replies >sad.png >browse rigreentext to see what makes a successful greentext >top post is my greentext >30,000 upvotes, 50 awards in one day >this redditor spends all his time sceenshotting /r9k/ greentexts and posting them on reddit >he never creates original works, only enjoys those of others >mfw creativity among the masses is dead >mfw people would rather consume than produce >mfw thus the decline and fall of america >mfw this greentext shows up on reddit and gets upvoted, despite insulting redditfags f--- reddit and f--- u/Suessiboy1220
File: 345350698bde3a455a509735e.).jpg (10 KB, 227x220) O Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)22:39:22 No.63280798 >be me >post greentext about scaring alphas in the bathroom >barely get any replies >sad.png >browse rigreentext to see what makes a successful greentext >top post is my greentext >30,000 upvotes, 50 awards in one day >this redditor spends all his time sceenshotting /r9k/ greentexts and posting them on reddit >he never creates original works, only enjoys those of others >mfw creativity among the masses is dead >mfw people would rather consume than produce >mfw thus the decline and fall of america >mfw this greentext shows up on reddit and gets upvoted, despite insulting redditfags f--- reddit and f--- u/Suessiboy1220

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Anon is angry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)01:30:34 No.852427346 >be school in Florida >worried trans kids will make sports unfair >mandate "genital inspection of minors" >literally enable sexual 22 KB JPG abuse of children
: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)01:30:34 No.852427346 >be school in Florida >worried trans kids will make sports unfair >mandate "genital inspection of minors" >literally enable sexual 22 KB JPG abuse of children

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Anon didn't have a dollar | /r/Greentext

Ig/ Anonymous2010-06-26 18:01:14N0.11538596 >Bitcoin Market >220 Coins = 1 USD >Can take days to get a single coin F--- that s---.
Ig/ Anonymous2010-06-26 18:01:14N0.11538596 >Bitcoin Market >220 Coins = 1 USD >Can take days to get a single coin F--- that s---.

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I fell into the same trap as anon, not as bad though | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)16:18:27 No.115901522 Kangaroo Jack is probably the biggest lie I was ever told >me and brother were f------ HYPED by this movie after seeing trailer >we really, really believed it would be 9 KB PNG about a rapping Kangaroo >we used to hop around our bedroom for several hours at a time shouting fake rap lyrics we made up >nothing offensive just Kangaroo related stuff like "You,me and daddy are gonna go see Kangaro0 Jack; And you, me and daddy are gonna laugh until our hair turns black; and you and me and daddy are gonna see that Kangaroo; and you and me and daddy but not dead mummy too' >ought f------ kangaroo costumes to go to the cinema and see it >went in, so excited and the movie plays >almost no f------ talking Kangaroo whatsoever >we get so annoyed that we star to actually believe the Kangaroo is talking when on screen and IS rapping even when its just a Kangaroo standing around >spent weeks telling each other about all the great lines and basically convinced ourselves it was rapping Kangaroo kino and every other line was an awesome Kangaroo rap, even had quotes scratched into our wooden bunk bed >got the DVD >remembered the truth >brother actually started crying as we watched >>115901661 # >>115904551 # >>115905859 # >>115905897 # >>115906666 # >>115907646 # >>115908492 # >>115909981 #
: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)16:18:27 No.115901522 Kangaroo Jack is probably the biggest lie I was ever told >me and brother were f------ HYPED by this movie after seeing trailer >we really, really believed it would be 9 KB PNG about a rapping Kangaroo >we used to hop around our bedroom for several hours at a time shouting fake rap lyrics we made up >nothing offensive just Kangaroo related stuff like "You,me and daddy are gonna go see Kangaro0 Jack; And you, me and daddy are gonna laugh until our hair turns black; and you and me and daddy are gonna see that Kangaroo; and you and me and daddy but not dead mummy too' >ought f------ kangaroo costumes to go to the cinema and see it >went in, so excited and the movie plays >almost no f------ talking Kangaroo whatsoever >we get so annoyed that we star to actually believe the Kangaroo is talking when on screen and IS rapping even when its just a Kangaroo standing around >spent weeks telling each other about all the great lines and basically convinced ourselves it was rapping Kangaroo kino and every other line was an awesome Kangaroo rap, even had quotes scratched into our wooden bunk bed >got the DVD >remembered the truth >brother actually started crying as we watched >>115901661 # >>115904551 # >>115905859 # >>115905897 # >>115906666 # >>115907646 # >>115908492 # >>115909981 #

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Anons mom wants to use the computer | /r/Greentext

File: pc 4 story jpg (5 KB, 253x199) Anonymous (ID: asOVXED7 ) 09/14/14(Sun)13:59:27 No.568666427 [Reply] I have a story for you >my mom comes home after work >she needs to use the computer >the internet starts messing up and she gets mad >she calls me downstairs and asks me why its being slow >i told her to restart it >windows needs to update and it takes a while >after the incident she calls my old nanny and her best friend the "computer expert" >she shows her the issues and everything is working fine >she then tries to print something and it didnt work >she gets upset and i offer help >"YOU DONT KNOoW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. YOU BROKE THIS WITH YOUR GAMESI" > i told her i got the games through steam and that was impossible >Our so called expert decides to wiegh in >"kid every time you download a game it has a virus. even on steam downloads are just links with malware" >i go upstairs because they are being retarded >they give up and say they will fix it tomorrow >i go downstairs and the printer was just out of ink and that is how i lost faith in humanity
File: pc 4 story jpg (5 KB, 253x199) Anonymous (ID: asOVXED7 ) 09/14/14(Sun)13:59:27 No.568666427 [Reply] I have a story for you >my mom comes home after work >she needs to use the computer >the internet starts messing up and she gets mad >she calls me downstairs and asks me why its being slow >i told her to restart it >windows needs to update and it takes a while >after the incident she calls my old nanny and her best friend the "computer expert" >she shows her the issues and everything is working fine >she then tries to print something and it didnt work >she gets upset and i offer help >"YOU DONT KNOoW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. YOU BROKE THIS WITH YOUR GAMESI" > i told her i got the games through steam and that was impossible >Our so called expert decides to wiegh in >"kid every time you download a game it has a virus. even on steam downloads are just links with malware" >i go upstairs because they are being retarded >they give up and say they will fix it tomorrow >i go downstairs and the printer was just out of ink and that is how i lost faith in humanity

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Anon busts a nut | /r/Greentext

1h (4/18 16:51) ·63271176 6 Re ·0 Img JPG 6KB · (225 × 225) The cringiest f------ things you've ever said to your family >be 13 yr/old dumb f--- >no clue how sex/m----------- works, too scared to find out >only thing i know is that when you reach a certain age, some white substance that isn't piss can shoot out of your d--- >no idea what sperm was or what it did, thought it was just a thing that happened >one night >dad and i talk about what growing up does to your body >gives me encouragement to not feel afraid about what happens, feel our relationship grow as a result, good s--- >l get ready to leave the room >decide to be an autistic smartass and end the convo with one last s----- joke >oh dear god, this is painful to remember >"hey dad" >"yeah?" >"If i start to pee something white, I'll let you know, ok?" >gives me a look of w-- and just goes back to what he was doing It took me years later to realize I had just invited my dad to watch me bust a nut. I still want to die.
1h (4/18 16:51) ·63271176 6 Re ·0 Img JPG 6KB · (225 × 225) The cringiest f------ things you've ever said to your family >be 13 yr/old dumb f--- >no clue how sex/m----------- works, too scared to find out >only thing i know is that when you reach a certain age, some white substance that isn't piss can shoot out of your d--- >no idea what sperm was or what it did, thought it was just a thing that happened >one night >dad and i talk about what growing up does to your body >gives me encouragement to not feel afraid about what happens, feel our relationship grow as a result, good s--- >l get ready to leave the room >decide to be an autistic smartass and end the convo with one last s----- joke >oh dear god, this is painful to remember >"hey dad" >"yeah?" >"If i start to pee something white, I'll let you know, ok?" >gives me a look of w-- and just goes back to what he was doing It took me years later to realize I had just invited my dad to watch me bust a nut. I still want to die.

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Anon is Elon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: egPLaWtA 02/04/21(Thu)01:57:08 No.27695254 >be elon >Buy a s--- ton of dogecoin >Say that 100 dogecoin is now worth a Tesla >Dogecoin jump to at least 600 a share cuz it's now backed by a tesla >Elon sells off all dogecoin, still turns a 57 KB JPG massive profit despite giving away some cars Tell Me one reason why this wouldn't work?
: Anonymous (ID: egPLaWtA 02/04/21(Thu)01:57:08 No.27695254 >be elon >Buy a s--- ton of dogecoin >Say that 100 dogecoin is now worth a Tesla >Dogecoin jump to at least 600 a share cuz it's now backed by a tesla >Elon sells off all dogecoin, still turns a 57 KB JPG massive profit despite giving away some cars Tell Me one reason why this wouldn't work?

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anon dabbles in sex work | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous dabbling in sex work now 04/18/21(Sun)14:15:23 No.63276079 >be me >bedroom and bathroom on second floor of house >small decorative window in bathroom and shower >pretty small but you can still see in >s----- design 37 KB JPG >ffw a few weeks ago >get out of shower >me with anxiety always looks out window >old man neighbor looking up >i dont have towel on but put it on fast hoping he doesnt see anything >ffw a few hours >old man knocks on door places something on welcome mat then speeds away >i open door to see 500 bucks on porch >w-- >weirded out >next day same thing happens >start doing it intentional now >mfw i make 500 bucks a day by showering in my own house >mfw when im now a sex worker
: Anonymous dabbling in sex work now 04/18/21(Sun)14:15:23 No.63276079 >be me >bedroom and bathroom on second floor of house >small decorative window in bathroom and shower >pretty small but you can still see in >s----- design 37 KB JPG >ffw a few weeks ago >get out of shower >me with anxiety always looks out window >old man neighbor looking up >i dont have towel on but put it on fast hoping he doesnt see anything >ffw a few hours >old man knocks on door places something on welcome mat then speeds away >i open door to see 500 bucks on porch >w-- >weirded out >next day same thing happens >start doing it intentional now >mfw i make 500 bucks a day by showering in my own house >mfw when im now a sex worker

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dead anon tells a story. | /r/Greentext

File: 1342889711888.jpg (41 KB, 447x425) Anonymous (ID: 62GUC90E) 05/17/14(Sat)13:24:46 No.546835062 >>546835350 >>546835545 >>546835658 >>546835802 >>546835957 >>546835989 >>546836321 >>546836827 >>546837392 >>546838392 ITT Deaf people problems >I learned farting makes a sound at 20 Was with gf (not my first one) >At dinner in a very nice place >Waiter asking me for my order and my a------ needs to flex >Waiter gives look of disgust and terror Itwaswet. PNG >Gf signs me asking if I s--- myself >l have no clue what's going on >my girlfriend had to explain to me with the waiter right there that F--- I just farted and that they make noise and that this particular one made everyone in the room stop talking >Mfw ive farted in front of everyone I know and nobody has ever said anything to me I excused myself to the bathroom and never talked to her again Anonymous (ID: JW6J5EFE) 05/17/14(Sat)13:27:24 No.546835350 File: 1374525874783.jpg (47 KB, 321x374) >>546835062 (OP) this has got to be the greatest thing i ever read Anonymous (ID: qq9pYIE8) 05/17/14(Sat)13:28:33 No.546835464 >546836217 >>546836321 File: I stole this laptop.jpg (85 KB, 425x282)
File: 1342889711888.jpg (41 KB, 447x425) Anonymous (ID: 62GUC90E) 05/17/14(Sat)13:24:46 No.546835062 >>546835350 >>546835545 >>546835658 >>546835802 >>546835957 >>546835989 >>546836321 >>546836827 >>546837392 >>546838392 ITT Deaf people problems >I learned farting makes a sound at 20 Was with gf (not my first one) >At dinner in a very nice place >Waiter asking me for my order and my a------ needs to flex >Waiter gives look of disgust and terror Itwaswet. PNG >Gf signs me asking if I s--- myself >l have no clue what's going on >my girlfriend had to explain to me with the waiter right there that F--- I just farted and that they make noise and that this particular one made everyone in the room stop talking >Mfw ive farted in front of everyone I know and nobody has ever said anything to me I excused myself to the bathroom and never talked to her again Anonymous (ID: JW6J5EFE) 05/17/14(Sat)13:27:24 No.546835350 File: 1374525874783.jpg (47 KB, 321x374) >>546835062 (OP) this has got to be the greatest thing i ever read Anonymous (ID: qq9pYIE8) 05/17/14(Sat)13:28:33 No.546835464 >546836217 >>546836321 File: I stole this laptop.jpg (85 KB, 425x282)

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Anon is into traps | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)17:00:19 No.846977777 > be me, closeted bisexual > mostly into grils, but have a thing for traps > decide to find a trap irl > go on Grindr, swipe left until I find a cute femboy > we start talking and sharing nudes, body is surprisingly feminine for a trap 356 KB JPG > he wants to meet up > itsHappening.exe > show up, hes shorter than me and petite, just how I like em > get up to bedroom and start making out > he stops, "Anon, I have to tell you something" > "It's cool, I know you have a d---" > "Actually Anon, I'm ftm. I dont have a d---" > mfw, it's actually a chick > mfw, I got reversed traped
: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)17:00:19 No.846977777 > be me, closeted bisexual > mostly into grils, but have a thing for traps > decide to find a trap irl > go on Grindr, swipe left until I find a cute femboy > we start talking and sharing nudes, body is surprisingly feminine for a trap 356 KB JPG > he wants to meet up > itsHappening.exe > show up, hes shorter than me and petite, just how I like em > get up to bedroom and start making out > he stops, "Anon, I have to tell you something" > "It's cool, I know you have a d---" > "Actually Anon, I'm ftm. I dont have a d---" > mfw, it's actually a chick > mfw, I got reversed traped

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Anon is social degenerate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)12:56:20 No.40073827 >>40073392 (OP) # >walking girl down path to her house holding hands >she lets go of my hand >anon, i think we need to go 293 KB PNG further than this >well yeah how else are we gonna get to your house? >>40073865 # >>40073896 # : Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)12:58:31 No.40073865 >>40073827 # HOLY F------ S--- ANON LITERALLY HOW
: Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)12:56:20 No.40073827 >>40073392 (OP) # >walking girl down path to her house holding hands >she lets go of my hand >anon, i think we need to go 293 KB PNG further than this >well yeah how else are we gonna get to your house? >>40073865 # >>40073896 # : Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)12:58:31 No.40073865 >>40073827 # HOLY F------ S--- ANON LITERALLY HOW

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Anon is not a Chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/18(Tue)12:49:54 No.45755456 YgmcQiK.jpg 46 KB JPG >try to get a Chad haircut >comes out looking like pic related What the f--- am I doing wrong? I went to a proper hair stylist that cost $100. Should I shave it all off?
: Anonymous 05/29/18(Tue)12:49:54 No.45755456 YgmcQiK.jpg 46 KB JPG >try to get a Chad haircut >comes out looking like pic related What the f--- am I doing wrong? I went to a proper hair stylist that cost $100. Should I shave it all off?

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Anon is bullied | /r/Greentext

>first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind 11 KB JPG computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >lt's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >0-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i will t each you deadlifts" Is this how chads are? It felt like dream but it was all real.
>first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind 11 KB JPG computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >lt's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >0-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i will t each you deadlifts" Is this how chads are? It felt like dream but it was all real.

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Femanon regrets having sex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)11:44:57 No.852376239 >be me >extremely butch woman >tall, muscular, pretty masculine features, deep voice >basically Brienne of Tarth >not attracted to women in the slightest >lesbians and bi girls harass me 36 KB JPG all the time thinking I'm just not admitting I desire the p--- >get pushy and rude so I get a boyfriend so they'l| finally believe that I'm not into them >they lie to him behind my back saying I'm only with him to coverup my l----- ways from the public >he leaves me >finally give up and have sex with a woman to see if everything they're saying is true >it's f------ disgusting, worse than I thought > I lost my boyfriend and I've been made into an unwilling femfag >Feel like s--- and still have the disgusting taste if p---- in my mouth MFW
: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)11:44:57 No.852376239 >be me >extremely butch woman >tall, muscular, pretty masculine features, deep voice >basically Brienne of Tarth >not attracted to women in the slightest >lesbians and bi girls harass me 36 KB JPG all the time thinking I'm just not admitting I desire the p--- >get pushy and rude so I get a boyfriend so they'l| finally believe that I'm not into them >they lie to him behind my back saying I'm only with him to coverup my l----- ways from the public >he leaves me >finally give up and have sex with a woman to see if everything they're saying is true >it's f------ disgusting, worse than I thought > I lost my boyfriend and I've been made into an unwilling femfag >Feel like s--- and still have the disgusting taste if p---- in my mouth MFW

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Anon meets a self-aware trip | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 84NIfqPh ) 04/18/21(Sun)10:27:53 No.317388654 >be me >sister goes to trip India >why.jpg >returns to say it was pathetic >"no s---" >"s--- was all over the place dude" 127 KB JPG kek, I wonder why would anyone think of going there Anonymous (ID: 001SjiQW ) I 04/18/21(Sun)10:30:05 No.316589888 Larp all you want anon, let's see who's seething when we become a superpower in 2020
Anonymous (ID: 84NIfqPh ) 04/18/21(Sun)10:27:53 No.317388654 >be me >sister goes to trip India >why.jpg >returns to say it was pathetic >"no s---" >"s--- was all over the place dude" 127 KB JPG kek, I wonder why would anyone think of going there Anonymous (ID: 001SjiQW ) I 04/18/21(Sun)10:30:05 No.316589888 Larp all you want anon, let's see who's seething when we become a superpower in 2020

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Lethal dose of copium | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)06:17:57 No.63268745 >18 hours left to finish 16 assignments >want to coom because it would feel good >but if i coom i won't do anything for the rest of the day 197 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)06:17:57 No.63268745 >18 hours left to finish 16 assignments >want to coom because it would feel good >but if i coom i won't do anything for the rest of the day 197 KB JPG

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Happens to the best of us anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)21:44:31 No.852377973 >Take a small amount of ambien >Wake up early in the middle of the night >Have to take a huge s--- >Can feel it bubbling in my stomach 79 KB JPG >Run to the nearest bathroom as fast as I can >Sit on the toilet, push with all of my might >S--- blasts out of my a------ like a cannon >Relief >Go back to bed >Wake up covered in s--- >mfw >Was it all a dream?
: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)21:44:31 No.852377973 >Take a small amount of ambien >Wake up early in the middle of the night >Have to take a huge s--- >Can feel it bubbling in my stomach 79 KB JPG >Run to the nearest bathroom as fast as I can >Sit on the toilet, push with all of my might >S--- blasts out of my a------ like a cannon >Relief >Go back to bed >Wake up covered in s--- >mfw >Was it all a dream?

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Anon prefers 2D grils | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)00:41:18 No.63267370 >all the girls that ever liked me all closely resembled the 2D girls i ignored them for >now i'm gonna be alone forever 323 KB PNG 5 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)00:41:18 No.63267370 >all the girls that ever liked me all closely resembled the 2D girls i ignored them for >now i'm gonna be alone forever 323 KB PNG 5 Replies View Thread

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Anon falls behind | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)07:04:07 No.63265597 >play for honor >absolute imbalanced p------------ with more bad design choices than good ones >can only enjoy it if playing with some guys from discord >stop playing often because of 11 KB JPG college >whenever I play with them they keep calling me out and making me feel like s--- for messing up because I don't play 24/7 and don't know all the optimal disgusting tactics I lost the last thing I could enjoy in life
: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)07:04:07 No.63265597 >play for honor >absolute imbalanced p------------ with more bad design choices than good ones >can only enjoy it if playing with some guys from discord >stop playing often because of 11 KB JPG college >whenever I play with them they keep calling me out and making me feel like s--- for messing up because I don't play 24/7 and don't know all the optimal disgusting tactics I lost the last thing I could enjoy in life

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)23:33:22 No.63265253 > be ceo of bacon megacorporation > want to improve profits > sell "thin-sliced" bacon as cheap alternative to normal bacon > do this for years > start marketing the thin-sliced bacon as normal > regular bacon is "thick-cut" > do this for years > other bacon megacorps adopt your strategy > general public accepts thin-sliced bacon as new normal > raise prices > thin-sliced bacon is the price of old normal bacon > old normal bacon is now thick-cut bacon at higher price > profit
Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)23:33:22 No.63265253 > be ceo of bacon megacorporation > want to improve profits > sell "thin-sliced" bacon as cheap alternative to normal bacon > do this for years > start marketing the thin-sliced bacon as normal > regular bacon is "thick-cut" > do this for years > other bacon megacorps adopt your strategy > general public accepts thin-sliced bacon as new normal > raise prices > thin-sliced bacon is the price of old normal bacon > old normal bacon is now thick-cut bacon at higher price > profit

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