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Anon has goldfish | /r/Greentext

>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me
>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me

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Anon in High School | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/16(Mon) 19:37:06 No.667909700 ITT: Fond HS Memories >be me SUS. nd ther lly ters >17 >teachers invited 1st graders over for a play >stupid as f--- 200 KB PNG >it's about Frozen >goddamn f------ Frozen >play goes along stupidly, half the "actors/actresses" don't even know their lines and lead into abrupt awkward moments >first act ends >cue pitiful clapping and false encouragement from normie teachers >second act leads into the Let it Go song >before the song begins, a teacher comes onto the stage >"Hello everyone, I hope you've enjoyed this fantastic play so far. Before we begin, would anyone give us a suggestion for a Frozen rendition?" >the teacher was letting us select a Frozen remix >h-------- >one of my bros holds up his hand >"Yes Anon?" >"I'd like to suggest a video called "Let it go Ukulele remix (beautiul)" >everyone near him falls silent >a vicious and devious grin curls upon fellow bros lips, as they begin evilly cackling and wringing their hands In case you don't know, Papa Franku made a sexual remix of Let it Go, replacing it with lines describing the desire to be anally f----- by Olaf, almost every one of my beta friends know the song >"Okay Anon, thank you for your suggestion!" >daintily walks off stage, absolutely unaware >1st graders walk onto stage >CUE FILTHY FRANK LET IT GO RENDITION
: Anonymous 02/08/16(Mon) 19:37:06 No.667909700 ITT: Fond HS Memories >be me SUS. nd ther lly ters >17 >teachers invited 1st graders over for a play >stupid as f--- 200 KB PNG >it's about Frozen >goddamn f------ Frozen >play goes along stupidly, half the "actors/actresses" don't even know their lines and lead into abrupt awkward moments >first act ends >cue pitiful clapping and false encouragement from normie teachers >second act leads into the Let it Go song >before the song begins, a teacher comes onto the stage >"Hello everyone, I hope you've enjoyed this fantastic play so far. Before we begin, would anyone give us a suggestion for a Frozen rendition?" >the teacher was letting us select a Frozen remix >h-------- >one of my bros holds up his hand >"Yes Anon?" >"I'd like to suggest a video called "Let it go Ukulele remix (beautiul)" >everyone near him falls silent >a vicious and devious grin curls upon fellow bros lips, as they begin evilly cackling and wringing their hands In case you don't know, Papa Franku made a sexual remix of Let it Go, replacing it with lines describing the desire to be anally f----- by Olaf, almost every one of my beta friends know the song >"Okay Anon, thank you for your suggestion!" >daintily walks off stage, absolutely unaware >1st graders walk onto stage >CUE FILTHY FRANK LET IT GO RENDITION

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Anon is gon get hurt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)18:46:29 No.846404796 >walking down dark alleyway >see guy walking towards me fastly >pull out r--- whistle >mfw he smirks and pulls out a r--- whistle silencer 58 KB PNG Damn, dis gonna hurt View Thread
: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)18:46:29 No.846404796 >walking down dark alleyway >see guy walking towards me fastly >pull out r--- whistle >mfw he smirks and pulls out a r--- whistle silencer 58 KB PNG Damn, dis gonna hurt View Thread

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Anon made a dick move | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)12:56:06 No.63298446 >steal best friend's girlfriend by accident Its not my fault I'm smarter, more interesting, and alpha than him, she came unto me. 20 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)12:58:22 No.63298458 >>63298446 (OP)_# She will leave you too. Stupid move on your part. >>63298465 # >>63299937 #
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)12:56:06 No.63298446 >steal best friend's girlfriend by accident Its not my fault I'm smarter, more interesting, and alpha than him, she came unto me. 20 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)12:58:22 No.63298458 >>63298446 (OP)_# She will leave you too. Stupid move on your part. >>63298465 # >>63299937 #

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anon finds the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)17:07:22 No.852563253 >be you >think cilantro tastes like soap >its because a genetic mutation made your tastebuds retarded >be inferior human >be me 638 KB PNG >love cilantro >enjoys all the asian, Mexican and other cuisines you cant bc tastebuds not retarded >be superior tfw
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)17:07:22 No.852563253 >be you >think cilantro tastes like soap >its because a genetic mutation made your tastebuds retarded >be inferior human >be me 638 KB PNG >love cilantro >enjoys all the asian, Mexican and other cuisines you cant bc tastebuds not retarded >be superior tfw

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Anon takes a test | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)17:02:31 No.778 >friend sends me iq test >okay ill do it > finish test and get 75 iq >i cant show this to my friend >i do the test again knowing answers >get 73 >mfw 59 KB PNG
Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)17:02:31 No.778 >friend sends me iq test >okay ill do it > finish test and get 75 iq >i cant show this to my friend >i do the test again knowing answers >get 73 >mfw 59 KB PNG

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Anon likes to shoot up schools | /r/Greentext

>>56049301 (OP) # >be silent in vc >everybody ignores your voice when you try to talk >"why are you so silent anon? pretty sure you're that kind of guy who'll 27 KB JPG shoot up a school"
>>56049301 (OP) # >be silent in vc >everybody ignores your voice when you try to talk >"why are you so silent anon? pretty sure you're that kind of guy who'll 27 KB JPG shoot up a school"

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anon goes to a store | /r/Greentext

I hope she thinks that I'm not a loser... Why this m---------- got a frog head? CANNA Twinkies
I hope she thinks that I'm not a loser... Why this m---------- got a frog head? CANNA Twinkies

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Anon is a trickster | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Japanese hookup community on T(...) 04/20/21(Tue)21:17:59 No.63303172 >hear about Japanese "back dirt" vi pue doad.any gO accounts on Twitter >learn that young Japanese people use Twitter as a type of anonymous hookup app >decide to try and find this strange Twitter world >make Twitter profile >choose to be mostly honest about myself because I don't want anyone to question my s----- 1.62 MB PNG Google translate Japanese >say I'm a 25 year old black guy from the US >lie and say I'm currently living in Japan >find a few back dirt accounts and fall down the rabbit hole >within a week, DMs are flooded with messages >both women and men trying to meet to hook up >both women and men simply interested in the foreigner and want to have a conversation >girls trying to sell me p--- >one guy offered to let me stay at his apartment in Tokyo and f--- his gf for a few days These people don't even know what I look like, all they know is that I'm some black guy who claims to live in Japan. The world is insane.
: Anonymous Japanese hookup community on T(...) 04/20/21(Tue)21:17:59 No.63303172 >hear about Japanese "back dirt" vi pue doad.any gO accounts on Twitter >learn that young Japanese people use Twitter as a type of anonymous hookup app >decide to try and find this strange Twitter world >make Twitter profile >choose to be mostly honest about myself because I don't want anyone to question my s----- 1.62 MB PNG Google translate Japanese >say I'm a 25 year old black guy from the US >lie and say I'm currently living in Japan >find a few back dirt accounts and fall down the rabbit hole >within a week, DMs are flooded with messages >both women and men trying to meet to hook up >both women and men simply interested in the foreigner and want to have a conversation >girls trying to sell me p--- >one guy offered to let me stay at his apartment in Tokyo and f--- his gf for a few days These people don't even know what I look like, all they know is that I'm some black guy who claims to live in Japan. The world is insane.

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greentexts on 4chan are like rare pokemon cards anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)20:19:50 No.852528532 >see bunch of funny texts on r/greentext >decide to check it out myself on 4 chan >expect to see even funnier greentexts >see p--- ads, p---, naked women and 0.5 greentexts in 30 11 KB JPG minutes of scrolling >this site is terrible get a life you crippled dogs
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)20:19:50 No.852528532 >see bunch of funny texts on r/greentext >decide to check it out myself on 4 chan >expect to see even funnier greentexts >see p--- ads, p---, naked women and 0.5 greentexts in 30 11 KB JPG minutes of scrolling >this site is terrible get a life you crippled dogs

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Anon is addicted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 2ZUVFH5C) 04/17/17(Mon)02: >>121481408 >lay in hospital bed >family is surrounding you zeveryone crying >let out your tear >life is flashing through your eyes >50 years of hardcore p--- in 1 millisecond >nut all over everyone >your last words are "s--- >let out last breath >die this is why you all need to stop watching p---.
Anonymous (ID: 2ZUVFH5C) 04/17/17(Mon)02: >>121481408 >lay in hospital bed >family is surrounding you zeveryone crying >let out your tear >life is flashing through your eyes >50 years of hardcore p--- in 1 millisecond >nut all over everyone >your last words are "s--- >let out last breath >die this is why you all need to stop watching p---.

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Anon is a normie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/05/18(Fri)21:21:05 No.781570346 >Be me >2 years ago >In high school >Working on a science project >Some chads sit at my table >They talk about harambe memes >They don't do their project of 342 KB PNG course >"Hey anon" >I look over >"Do you know you're a f------ normie" >Ask them if they know where that word comes from >they say instagram >Normies call me a normie because I don't talk about memes in public 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 10/05/18(Fri)21:21:05 No.781570346 >Be me >2 years ago >In high school >Working on a science project >Some chads sit at my table >They talk about harambe memes >They don't do their project of 342 KB PNG course >"Hey anon" >I look over >"Do you know you're a f------ normie" >Ask them if they know where that word comes from >they say instagram >Normies call me a normie because I don't talk about memes in public 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is Chinese | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: omJpzVE)= 07/25/16(Mon)00:32:11 No.82523258 >be Chinese >wake up for work >elevator is shut down cause it cut someone in half >use stairs instead >can't use car because the garage collapsed on it >barely avoid getting swallowed by a sidewalk sinkhole >narrowly dodge a car that rolls over a 4 year old child >finally make it to train station >escalator eats the guy in front of me >10 people are trampled to death trying to get on train >train derails killing hundreds >crawl out of rubble and stumble to work >clock in at the oil refinery and light a c-------- >resulting explosion vaporizes 4 city blocks
Anonymous (ID: omJpzVE)= 07/25/16(Mon)00:32:11 No.82523258 >be Chinese >wake up for work >elevator is shut down cause it cut someone in half >use stairs instead >can't use car because the garage collapsed on it >barely avoid getting swallowed by a sidewalk sinkhole >narrowly dodge a car that rolls over a 4 year old child >finally make it to train station >escalator eats the guy in front of me >10 people are trampled to death trying to get on train >train derails killing hundreds >crawl out of rubble and stumble to work >clock in at the oil refinery and light a c-------- >resulting explosion vaporizes 4 city blocks

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Anon Built an Airfield | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)09:57:10 No.852528972 >be me >'60s >Unccy Sam wants to kill some fools >drafted >fuckinghell.mp4 120 KB JPG >sent to b------ Nam >"Anon, go tear down that jungle" >fuckmefuckmefuckme >2 months clearing thiccc g--- Forrest >"Anon, this will be an airfield" >fuckmefuckmefuckme >tear concrete bags all day >goes on for weeks >lungs burn, skin burns FFW 60 years >severeCOPD.jpg >"Anon, your lungs are f-----" >go to file disability with VA bc Unccy Sam went full retard >"Sorry Anon, you need to prove you were there." >about to die >service connected disability denied Pic related
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)09:57:10 No.852528972 >be me >'60s >Unccy Sam wants to kill some fools >drafted >fuckinghell.mp4 120 KB JPG >sent to b------ Nam >"Anon, go tear down that jungle" >fuckmefuckmefuckme >2 months clearing thiccc g--- Forrest >"Anon, this will be an airfield" >fuckmefuckmefuckme >tear concrete bags all day >goes on for weeks >lungs burn, skin burns FFW 60 years >severeCOPD.jpg >"Anon, your lungs are f-----" >go to file disability with VA bc Unccy Sam went full retard >"Sorry Anon, you need to prove you were there." >about to die >service connected disability denied Pic related

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Anon got a compliment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)08:26:16 No.843691791 1607846755974.jpg 90 KB JPG >taking piss at public urinal >guy walks in and starts using the one next to me >he looks over at me >'nice c--- bro, i bet you c-- alot right? Yeah i bet you do' We all need a compliment from time to time to make us feel good.
: Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)08:26:16 No.843691791 1607846755974.jpg 90 KB JPG >taking piss at public urinal >guy walks in and starts using the one next to me >he looks over at me >'nice c--- bro, i bet you c-- alot right? Yeah i bet you do' We all need a compliment from time to time to make us feel good.

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Anon needs a new family | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)02:09:11 No.63268235 >cooked my family nice food >they do not eat it leave it in the fridge >think they consider me unclean >put groceries away and organize 895 KB PNG the freezer >later_that_day.mp4 >grabbing a parecel >mom asks me if I am bleeding because looks like bloods on the floor >it was frozen berry dust from the freezer My family thinks this anon is filthy and weird :(I tried so hard cooking food for them it was nice I was proud of myself and it gets ignored 46 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)02:09:11 No.63268235 >cooked my family nice food >they do not eat it leave it in the fridge >think they consider me unclean >put groceries away and organize 895 KB PNG the freezer >later_that_day.mp4 >grabbing a parecel >mom asks me if I am bleeding because looks like bloods on the floor >it was frozen berry dust from the freezer My family thinks this anon is filthy and weird :(I tried so hard cooking food for them it was nice I was proud of myself and it gets ignored 46 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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anon eats edibles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous08/25/18(Sat)10:25:32 No.778156927 >be me >bored and wanna hang out with some friends >need to have some fun so buy a few sativa edibles >eat a brownie while 53 KB JPG walking to my friends house >get there and still don't feel anything >eat 2 more >spend the next 6 hours walking around his house leading him on a Skyrim adventure >l s--- u not i was acting out different roles of characters and stuff >best day ever >thanks sativa edibles
: Anonymous08/25/18(Sat)10:25:32 No.778156927 >be me >bored and wanna hang out with some friends >need to have some fun so buy a few sativa edibles >eat a brownie while 53 KB JPG walking to my friends house >get there and still don't feel anything >eat 2 more >spend the next 6 hours walking around his house leading him on a Skyrim adventure >l s--- u not i was acting out different roles of characters and stuff >best day ever >thanks sativa edibles

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Anon is a Bible scholar | /r/Greentext


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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

120-1208698_pepe-the-frog-confused-clipart-png-download- confused.png 231 KB PNG >be me >Bong >Dad was American >Left mom when I was a kid >Dad registered me with embassy and I'm an American citizen, have a passport, never spent more than a week in the US >Never really cared or wanted to live in the US, could vote if I wanted I guess >Fast forward like 15 years >Uni student, almost done with school >Meet another american kid >Tells me I need to pay taxes to the US government once i get a job on top of UK taxes >Also need to register for draft i guess W--.jpg >I guess l'll give up US citizenship >Literally over $2000 to do so What the f--- america, i didn't chose this?
120-1208698_pepe-the-frog-confused-clipart-png-download- confused.png 231 KB PNG >be me >Bong >Dad was American >Left mom when I was a kid >Dad registered me with embassy and I'm an American citizen, have a passport, never spent more than a week in the US >Never really cared or wanted to live in the US, could vote if I wanted I guess >Fast forward like 15 years >Uni student, almost done with school >Meet another american kid >Tells me I need to pay taxes to the US government once i get a job on top of UK taxes >Also need to register for draft i guess W--.jpg >I guess l'll give up US citizenship >Literally over $2000 to do so What the f--- america, i didn't chose this?

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Anon watches too much hentai | /r/Greentext

3h (4/20 7:45) · 63295171 1 Re · 1 Img · PNG · 5KB · (300 × 355) 1 Reply >in my room browsing /e/ and deviantart >mom comes in >"anon, we're having company round later, could you please shower" >remind her to call me shadow killer and tell her that water burns my skin (the only liquid I can touch is mountain dew) >"o...okay shadow killer" >throw a piss bottle at her to frighten her into never forgetting again >6pm now >ask my w---- mom where my chicky tendies are >there are people here >"everyone... this is anon" says my stupid dad >scream at him that my name is f------ shadow killer >everyone looks tense >"h-hey anon, what are y-you into?" >tell them that I like hentai, mlp, and pwning normies >"what's a normie anon?" >that's it >attack him with my blazing shadow technique while shouting that my name's shadow killer >he dodges and I fall into the wall,smashing through because of my 450 pound bulk >use my spell attack "mortem omnibus normies" >grab the shitjug I was concealing under my trench coat >smash it over the stupid c---- head >s---'s everywhere >remember that I still haven't been served my tendies >hurl myself at my bitch mom, screaming CHICKY TENDIES!!! >she's crying >grab her by the hair and drag her into the kitchen >attempts to break free of my big boy grasp >smash her head against the oven while screaming DARKNESS PILEDRIVE >there's a loud snap >go back upstairs >check deviantart messages >can hear ambulance sirens outside F------ normies.
3h (4/20 7:45) · 63295171 1 Re · 1 Img · PNG · 5KB · (300 × 355) 1 Reply >in my room browsing /e/ and deviantart >mom comes in >"anon, we're having company round later, could you please shower" >remind her to call me shadow killer and tell her that water burns my skin (the only liquid I can touch is mountain dew) >"o...okay shadow killer" >throw a piss bottle at her to frighten her into never forgetting again >6pm now >ask my w---- mom where my chicky tendies are >there are people here >"everyone... this is anon" says my stupid dad >scream at him that my name is f------ shadow killer >everyone looks tense >"h-hey anon, what are y-you into?" >tell them that I like hentai, mlp, and pwning normies >"what's a normie anon?" >that's it >attack him with my blazing shadow technique while shouting that my name's shadow killer >he dodges and I fall into the wall,smashing through because of my 450 pound bulk >use my spell attack "mortem omnibus normies" >grab the shitjug I was concealing under my trench coat >smash it over the stupid c---- head >s---'s everywhere >remember that I still haven't been served my tendies >hurl myself at my bitch mom, screaming CHICKY TENDIES!!! >she's crying >grab her by the hair and drag her into the kitchen >attempts to break free of my big boy grasp >smash her head against the oven while screaming DARKNESS PILEDRIVE >there's a loud snap >go back upstairs >check deviantart messages >can hear ambulance sirens outside F------ normies.

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