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Anon is a trickster | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Japanese hookup community on T(...) 04/20/21(Tue)21:17:59 No.63303172 >hear about Japanese "back dirt" vi pue doad.any gO accounts on Twitter >learn that young Japanese people use Twitter as a type of anonymous hookup app >decide to try and find this strange Twitter world >make Twitter profile >choose to be mostly honest about myself because I don't want anyone to question my s----- 1.62 MB PNG Google translate Japanese >say I'm a 25 year old black guy from the US >lie and say I'm currently living in Japan >find a few back dirt accounts and fall down the rabbit hole >within a week, DMs are flooded with messages >both women and men trying to meet to hook up >both women and men simply interested in the foreigner and want to have a conversation >girls trying to sell me p--- >one guy offered to let me stay at his apartment in Tokyo and f--- his gf for a few days These people don't even know what I look like, all they know is that I'm some black guy who claims to live in Japan. The world is insane.
: Anonymous Japanese hookup community on T(...) 04/20/21(Tue)21:17:59 No.63303172 >hear about Japanese "back dirt" vi pue doad.any gO accounts on Twitter >learn that young Japanese people use Twitter as a type of anonymous hookup app >decide to try and find this strange Twitter world >make Twitter profile >choose to be mostly honest about myself because I don't want anyone to question my s----- 1.62 MB PNG Google translate Japanese >say I'm a 25 year old black guy from the US >lie and say I'm currently living in Japan >find a few back dirt accounts and fall down the rabbit hole >within a week, DMs are flooded with messages >both women and men trying to meet to hook up >both women and men simply interested in the foreigner and want to have a conversation >girls trying to sell me p--- >one guy offered to let me stay at his apartment in Tokyo and f--- his gf for a few days These people don't even know what I look like, all they know is that I'm some black guy who claims to live in Japan. The world is insane.

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greentexts on 4chan are like rare pokemon cards anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)20:19:50 No.852528532 >see bunch of funny texts on r/greentext >decide to check it out myself on 4 chan >expect to see even funnier greentexts >see p--- ads, p---, naked women and 0.5 greentexts in 30 11 KB JPG minutes of scrolling >this site is terrible get a life you crippled dogs
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)20:19:50 No.852528532 >see bunch of funny texts on r/greentext >decide to check it out myself on 4 chan >expect to see even funnier greentexts >see p--- ads, p---, naked women and 0.5 greentexts in 30 11 KB JPG minutes of scrolling >this site is terrible get a life you crippled dogs

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Anon is addicted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 2ZUVFH5C) 04/17/17(Mon)02: >>121481408 >lay in hospital bed >family is surrounding you zeveryone crying >let out your tear >life is flashing through your eyes >50 years of hardcore p--- in 1 millisecond >nut all over everyone >your last words are "s--- >let out last breath >die this is why you all need to stop watching p---.
Anonymous (ID: 2ZUVFH5C) 04/17/17(Mon)02: >>121481408 >lay in hospital bed >family is surrounding you zeveryone crying >let out your tear >life is flashing through your eyes >50 years of hardcore p--- in 1 millisecond >nut all over everyone >your last words are "s--- >let out last breath >die this is why you all need to stop watching p---.

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Anon is a normie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/05/18(Fri)21:21:05 No.781570346 >Be me >2 years ago >In high school >Working on a science project >Some chads sit at my table >They talk about harambe memes >They don't do their project of 342 KB PNG course >"Hey anon" >I look over >"Do you know you're a f------ normie" >Ask them if they know where that word comes from >they say instagram >Normies call me a normie because I don't talk about memes in public 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 10/05/18(Fri)21:21:05 No.781570346 >Be me >2 years ago >In high school >Working on a science project >Some chads sit at my table >They talk about harambe memes >They don't do their project of 342 KB PNG course >"Hey anon" >I look over >"Do you know you're a f------ normie" >Ask them if they know where that word comes from >they say instagram >Normies call me a normie because I don't talk about memes in public 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is Chinese | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: omJpzVE)= 07/25/16(Mon)00:32:11 No.82523258 >be Chinese >wake up for work >elevator is shut down cause it cut someone in half >use stairs instead >can't use car because the garage collapsed on it >barely avoid getting swallowed by a sidewalk sinkhole >narrowly dodge a car that rolls over a 4 year old child >finally make it to train station >escalator eats the guy in front of me >10 people are trampled to death trying to get on train >train derails killing hundreds >crawl out of rubble and stumble to work >clock in at the oil refinery and light a c-------- >resulting explosion vaporizes 4 city blocks
Anonymous (ID: omJpzVE)= 07/25/16(Mon)00:32:11 No.82523258 >be Chinese >wake up for work >elevator is shut down cause it cut someone in half >use stairs instead >can't use car because the garage collapsed on it >barely avoid getting swallowed by a sidewalk sinkhole >narrowly dodge a car that rolls over a 4 year old child >finally make it to train station >escalator eats the guy in front of me >10 people are trampled to death trying to get on train >train derails killing hundreds >crawl out of rubble and stumble to work >clock in at the oil refinery and light a c-------- >resulting explosion vaporizes 4 city blocks

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Anon Built an Airfield | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)09:57:10 No.852528972 >be me >'60s >Unccy Sam wants to kill some fools >drafted >fuckinghell.mp4 120 KB JPG >sent to b------ Nam >"Anon, go tear down that jungle" >fuckmefuckmefuckme >2 months clearing thiccc g--- Forrest >"Anon, this will be an airfield" >fuckmefuckmefuckme >tear concrete bags all day >goes on for weeks >lungs burn, skin burns FFW 60 years >severeCOPD.jpg >"Anon, your lungs are f-----" >go to file disability with VA bc Unccy Sam went full retard >"Sorry Anon, you need to prove you were there." >about to die >service connected disability denied Pic related
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)09:57:10 No.852528972 >be me >'60s >Unccy Sam wants to kill some fools >drafted >fuckinghell.mp4 120 KB JPG >sent to b------ Nam >"Anon, go tear down that jungle" >fuckmefuckmefuckme >2 months clearing thiccc g--- Forrest >"Anon, this will be an airfield" >fuckmefuckmefuckme >tear concrete bags all day >goes on for weeks >lungs burn, skin burns FFW 60 years >severeCOPD.jpg >"Anon, your lungs are f-----" >go to file disability with VA bc Unccy Sam went full retard >"Sorry Anon, you need to prove you were there." >about to die >service connected disability denied Pic related

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Anon got a compliment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)08:26:16 No.843691791 1607846755974.jpg 90 KB JPG >taking piss at public urinal >guy walks in and starts using the one next to me >he looks over at me >'nice c--- bro, i bet you c-- alot right? Yeah i bet you do' We all need a compliment from time to time to make us feel good.
: Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)08:26:16 No.843691791 1607846755974.jpg 90 KB JPG >taking piss at public urinal >guy walks in and starts using the one next to me >he looks over at me >'nice c--- bro, i bet you c-- alot right? Yeah i bet you do' We all need a compliment from time to time to make us feel good.

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Anon needs a new family | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)02:09:11 No.63268235 >cooked my family nice food >they do not eat it leave it in the fridge >think they consider me unclean >put groceries away and organize 895 KB PNG the freezer >later_that_day.mp4 >grabbing a parecel >mom asks me if I am bleeding because looks like bloods on the floor >it was frozen berry dust from the freezer My family thinks this anon is filthy and weird :(I tried so hard cooking food for them it was nice I was proud of myself and it gets ignored 46 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)02:09:11 No.63268235 >cooked my family nice food >they do not eat it leave it in the fridge >think they consider me unclean >put groceries away and organize 895 KB PNG the freezer >later_that_day.mp4 >grabbing a parecel >mom asks me if I am bleeding because looks like bloods on the floor >it was frozen berry dust from the freezer My family thinks this anon is filthy and weird :(I tried so hard cooking food for them it was nice I was proud of myself and it gets ignored 46 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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anon eats edibles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous08/25/18(Sat)10:25:32 No.778156927 >be me >bored and wanna hang out with some friends >need to have some fun so buy a few sativa edibles >eat a brownie while 53 KB JPG walking to my friends house >get there and still don't feel anything >eat 2 more >spend the next 6 hours walking around his house leading him on a Skyrim adventure >l s--- u not i was acting out different roles of characters and stuff >best day ever >thanks sativa edibles
: Anonymous08/25/18(Sat)10:25:32 No.778156927 >be me >bored and wanna hang out with some friends >need to have some fun so buy a few sativa edibles >eat a brownie while 53 KB JPG walking to my friends house >get there and still don't feel anything >eat 2 more >spend the next 6 hours walking around his house leading him on a Skyrim adventure >l s--- u not i was acting out different roles of characters and stuff >best day ever >thanks sativa edibles

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Anon is a Bible scholar | /r/Greentext


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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

120-1208698_pepe-the-frog-confused-clipart-png-download- confused.png 231 KB PNG >be me >Bong >Dad was American >Left mom when I was a kid >Dad registered me with embassy and I'm an American citizen, have a passport, never spent more than a week in the US >Never really cared or wanted to live in the US, could vote if I wanted I guess >Fast forward like 15 years >Uni student, almost done with school >Meet another american kid >Tells me I need to pay taxes to the US government once i get a job on top of UK taxes >Also need to register for draft i guess W--.jpg >I guess l'll give up US citizenship >Literally over $2000 to do so What the f--- america, i didn't chose this?
120-1208698_pepe-the-frog-confused-clipart-png-download- confused.png 231 KB PNG >be me >Bong >Dad was American >Left mom when I was a kid >Dad registered me with embassy and I'm an American citizen, have a passport, never spent more than a week in the US >Never really cared or wanted to live in the US, could vote if I wanted I guess >Fast forward like 15 years >Uni student, almost done with school >Meet another american kid >Tells me I need to pay taxes to the US government once i get a job on top of UK taxes >Also need to register for draft i guess W--.jpg >I guess l'll give up US citizenship >Literally over $2000 to do so What the f--- america, i didn't chose this?

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Anon watches too much hentai | /r/Greentext

3h (4/20 7:45) · 63295171 1 Re · 1 Img · PNG · 5KB · (300 × 355) 1 Reply >in my room browsing /e/ and deviantart >mom comes in >"anon, we're having company round later, could you please shower" >remind her to call me shadow killer and tell her that water burns my skin (the only liquid I can touch is mountain dew) >"o...okay shadow killer" >throw a piss bottle at her to frighten her into never forgetting again >6pm now >ask my w---- mom where my chicky tendies are >there are people here >"everyone... this is anon" says my stupid dad >scream at him that my name is f------ shadow killer >everyone looks tense >"h-hey anon, what are y-you into?" >tell them that I like hentai, mlp, and pwning normies >"what's a normie anon?" >that's it >attack him with my blazing shadow technique while shouting that my name's shadow killer >he dodges and I fall into the wall,smashing through because of my 450 pound bulk >use my spell attack "mortem omnibus normies" >grab the shitjug I was concealing under my trench coat >smash it over the stupid c---- head >s---'s everywhere >remember that I still haven't been served my tendies >hurl myself at my bitch mom, screaming CHICKY TENDIES!!! >she's crying >grab her by the hair and drag her into the kitchen >attempts to break free of my big boy grasp >smash her head against the oven while screaming DARKNESS PILEDRIVE >there's a loud snap >go back upstairs >check deviantart messages >can hear ambulance sirens outside F------ normies.
3h (4/20 7:45) · 63295171 1 Re · 1 Img · PNG · 5KB · (300 × 355) 1 Reply >in my room browsing /e/ and deviantart >mom comes in >"anon, we're having company round later, could you please shower" >remind her to call me shadow killer and tell her that water burns my skin (the only liquid I can touch is mountain dew) >"o...okay shadow killer" >throw a piss bottle at her to frighten her into never forgetting again >6pm now >ask my w---- mom where my chicky tendies are >there are people here >"everyone... this is anon" says my stupid dad >scream at him that my name is f------ shadow killer >everyone looks tense >"h-hey anon, what are y-you into?" >tell them that I like hentai, mlp, and pwning normies >"what's a normie anon?" >that's it >attack him with my blazing shadow technique while shouting that my name's shadow killer >he dodges and I fall into the wall,smashing through because of my 450 pound bulk >use my spell attack "mortem omnibus normies" >grab the shitjug I was concealing under my trench coat >smash it over the stupid c---- head >s---'s everywhere >remember that I still haven't been served my tendies >hurl myself at my bitch mom, screaming CHICKY TENDIES!!! >she's crying >grab her by the hair and drag her into the kitchen >attempts to break free of my big boy grasp >smash her head against the oven while screaming DARKNESS PILEDRIVE >there's a loud snap >go back upstairs >check deviantart messages >can hear ambulance sirens outside F------ normies.

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Anon makes himself useful | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 792698618 50 min ago >be me, 26 m a few years ago >little sister calls me to ask if I can buy Girl Scout cookies >buy two boxes of thin mints >idea.png >tell little sister l'll make her tons of money >tell her to let me handle everything >turn on my computer >l'm a f------ genius >start selling "mystery boxes" through the dark web 81.4 kB JPG >there's an estimate shipment date of 2-3 weeks for the cookies to arrive >l sell a mystery box for $200 a pop >End up selling about 60-70 mystery boxes in three days >tell my sister >she is super happy >feelsgoodman >sister sold the most and got some award >mfw I operated an underground cookie ring >mfw I got contacted by the local police for shipping all those boxes of Girl Scout cookies but proved there was nothing illegal about it
Anonymous | 792698618 50 min ago >be me, 26 m a few years ago >little sister calls me to ask if I can buy Girl Scout cookies >buy two boxes of thin mints >idea.png >tell little sister l'll make her tons of money >tell her to let me handle everything >turn on my computer >l'm a f------ genius >start selling "mystery boxes" through the dark web 81.4 kB JPG >there's an estimate shipment date of 2-3 weeks for the cookies to arrive >l sell a mystery box for $200 a pop >End up selling about 60-70 mystery boxes in three days >tell my sister >she is super happy >feelsgoodman >sister sold the most and got some award >mfw I operated an underground cookie ring >mfw I got contacted by the local police for shipping all those boxes of Girl Scout cookies but proved there was nothing illegal about it

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Anon has a good teacher. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)22:51:24 No.844617213 >be me >6th grade >spent a week working with a group for a project >presentation day comes >watching all the other kids present from back of the class >fake applause when they're 55 KB JPG done >going good so far >middle of one group's powerpoint >suddenly get a r----------- >hide it under the table hoping no one notices >last group finishes >teacher calls my group to go up >boner hasn't gone away >S--- >get up from my seat as slowly as possible >dreading the walk of shame to the front of the class >trying to hold my d--- down with my hands in my pockets >only making it more noticable >teacher looks at me >sees my pain >"anon, why don't you come up to my computer and change the slides" >THANK F------ GOD >quickly shuffle over to the computer >hide d--- under desk >only the teacher knows >mfw I realize the teacher saved me from hanging myself that night
: Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)22:51:24 No.844617213 >be me >6th grade >spent a week working with a group for a project >presentation day comes >watching all the other kids present from back of the class >fake applause when they're 55 KB JPG done >going good so far >middle of one group's powerpoint >suddenly get a r----------- >hide it under the table hoping no one notices >last group finishes >teacher calls my group to go up >boner hasn't gone away >S--- >get up from my seat as slowly as possible >dreading the walk of shame to the front of the class >trying to hold my d--- down with my hands in my pockets >only making it more noticable >teacher looks at me >sees my pain >"anon, why don't you come up to my computer and change the slides" >THANK F------ GOD >quickly shuffle over to the computer >hide d--- under desk >only the teacher knows >mfw I realize the teacher saved me from hanging myself that night

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anon goes boom | /r/Greentext

File: Exploding Debacle.png (1.1 MB, 640x773) The Game Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)14:34:01 No.63291423 [Reply] >>63291534 You are given 24 hours to sleep with at-least 1 woman and are given 5 shots. C4 is attached to you with remote detonation in order to force your compliance. You are not allowed to hire a prostitute, h-----, or escort who you can pay your way through, The perpetrator wants you to talk to and successfully woo a women into bed. How do you go about not pissing off the perpetrator and getting blown to bits? >> U Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)14:41:28 No.63291534 File: explosion.jpg (69 KB, 1280x720) >>63291423 (OP). >go out >get smoke some cigs >play a bit of vidya >do morphine a few hours before the deadline >go to the most crowded place I can find Activate Windows
File: Exploding Debacle.png (1.1 MB, 640x773) The Game Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)14:34:01 No.63291423 [Reply] >>63291534 You are given 24 hours to sleep with at-least 1 woman and are given 5 shots. C4 is attached to you with remote detonation in order to force your compliance. You are not allowed to hire a prostitute, h-----, or escort who you can pay your way through, The perpetrator wants you to talk to and successfully woo a women into bed. How do you go about not pissing off the perpetrator and getting blown to bits? >> U Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)14:41:28 No.63291534 File: explosion.jpg (69 KB, 1280x720) >>63291423 (OP). >go out >get smoke some cigs >play a bit of vidya >do morphine a few hours before the deadline >go to the most crowded place I can find Activate Windows

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Anons teacher is a sore loser | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)06:24:41 No.851663505 > be in middle school English period > was told to write a word starting with the letter "g" and many syllables as possible > cannot repeat words > my turn >mind started to race as I feel judgmental stares 430 KB PNG > wrote "Gobbledygook" > classmates laughed > teacher said, "Don't make up words, anon" > everyone mocked my vocabulary for the rest of the day > went home and found dictionary > next day showed it to the teacher that it exists > rather than explaining it to the class, teacher replied, "Stop being a sore loser." >mfw Also, I scored a 98% in the final English exam yet my English grade on my report card was a C.
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)06:24:41 No.851663505 > be in middle school English period > was told to write a word starting with the letter "g" and many syllables as possible > cannot repeat words > my turn >mind started to race as I feel judgmental stares 430 KB PNG > wrote "Gobbledygook" > classmates laughed > teacher said, "Don't make up words, anon" > everyone mocked my vocabulary for the rest of the day > went home and found dictionary > next day showed it to the teacher that it exists > rather than explaining it to the class, teacher replied, "Stop being a sore loser." >mfw Also, I scored a 98% in the final English exam yet my English grade on my report card was a C.

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Anon makes a rookie mistake | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Anon heals his back by breaking it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)04:03:35 No.63298691 >be me >always suffered from back pain due to lack of overall activity >back always feels kinda tight and stiff, and just not right >grab book to go read >jump on a couch at a weird angle, slam my lower back directly onto the rock solid arm CAPRISUN 435 KB PNG cushion and get jolted back by accident >hear a LOUD crack >thinking oh f--- no i just f----- my back for life >try to move >holy f--- >my pain is gone >my stiffness is gone >7 hours later >my back still feels great >just my upper back and neck feels a bit stiff too >chairopractors and physical therapists never could help my back for periods that last longer than an hour >literally almost breaking my back and almost paralyzing myself fixed it >hope it stays for long
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)04:03:35 No.63298691 >be me >always suffered from back pain due to lack of overall activity >back always feels kinda tight and stiff, and just not right >grab book to go read >jump on a couch at a weird angle, slam my lower back directly onto the rock solid arm CAPRISUN 435 KB PNG cushion and get jolted back by accident >hear a LOUD crack >thinking oh f--- no i just f----- my back for life >try to move >holy f--- >my pain is gone >my stiffness is gone >7 hours later >my back still feels great >just my upper back and neck feels a bit stiff too >chairopractors and physical therapists never could help my back for periods that last longer than an hour >literally almost breaking my back and almost paralyzing myself fixed it >hope it stays for long

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Anon strikes genetic jackpot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)17:19:23 No.852481505 >be me >White male, born in a happy household >Moderately good looking and 6'1 >Not a bodybuilder, but in good shape 27 KB PNG >Have a 4 inch c--- why
: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)17:19:23 No.852481505 >be me >White male, born in a happy household >Moderately good looking and 6'1 >Not a bodybuilder, but in good shape 27 KB PNG >Have a 4 inch c--- why

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anon witnesses a murder | /r/Greentext

File: please_do_not_do_that.jpg (8 KB, 202x200) O Anonymous 12/26/15(Sat)17:50:59 No.25266644 Times you witnessed a killing /r9k/? l'l start >moving into a new house >might as well go to meet the neighbours >hope they're not complete assholes >go to the house next door Please do not do that >it's a friendly old man >he sounds German and a little bit Irish >he motions me to come in >l do that, and don't worry much >we get to talking >his name is Hans O'Renn >he's been through a lot of s--- >but he faces every day with a smile >he mentions that he has one son >hasn't seen him in years >last thing he heard, he's involved with gangs >we talk some more and then I leave to talk to the others >the next day >l see a lot of shady looking people pass in front of my house >looks like they're going to see Hans >pretty suspicious >they give him a knock at the door >he lets them in >I listen through the wall our two houses share >"look, son, I haven't done anything to displease you have 1?" >"nah, but ya have to go" >l immediately go out and look through his front window >gang members stepping up to beat him to death >ohshit.jpg >"don't worry boys, 'l handle this" >"but Kyle." says one of them >so that's his name >"seriously, I'll do it" >Kyle takes a baseball bat >the rest is muffled screams and beatings and the sound of death >it's incredibly disturbing >I have to step back because it's so horrifying to watch >tfw Kyle O'Renn kills his father, Hans, solo
File: please_do_not_do_that.jpg (8 KB, 202x200) O Anonymous 12/26/15(Sat)17:50:59 No.25266644 Times you witnessed a killing /r9k/? l'l start >moving into a new house >might as well go to meet the neighbours >hope they're not complete assholes >go to the house next door Please do not do that >it's a friendly old man >he sounds German and a little bit Irish >he motions me to come in >l do that, and don't worry much >we get to talking >his name is Hans O'Renn >he's been through a lot of s--- >but he faces every day with a smile >he mentions that he has one son >hasn't seen him in years >last thing he heard, he's involved with gangs >we talk some more and then I leave to talk to the others >the next day >l see a lot of shady looking people pass in front of my house >looks like they're going to see Hans >pretty suspicious >they give him a knock at the door >he lets them in >I listen through the wall our two houses share >"look, son, I haven't done anything to displease you have 1?" >"nah, but ya have to go" >l immediately go out and look through his front window >gang members stepping up to beat him to death >ohshit.jpg >"don't worry boys, 'l handle this" >"but Kyle." says one of them >so that's his name >"seriously, I'll do it" >Kyle takes a baseball bat >the rest is muffled screams and beatings and the sound of death >it's incredibly disturbing >I have to step back because it's so horrifying to watch >tfw Kyle O'Renn kills his father, Hans, solo

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