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anon tells their life story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)23:31:50 No.852588742 >be me >born in Pakistan as a intersex person >4th of 4 children. siblings are all female >dad was a real POS. a low-life, poor islamic preacher, and was hell bent on having a boy >has me. but I am a male in appearance, 9 KB JPG but with female genitals >always disregarded by him. beats me up all the time. calls me a shame to the family, and what not >also berates mum, and hits her every now and then too for birthing me >believes it's my mother's fault for birthing all daughters. doesn't know he has to provide the Y chromosome >years pass by >father gets desperate his lineage will end at him >finds a sex worker, who is willing to bare a child with him >knocks her up. she gives birth to a baby girl as well >pimp wants to raise the girl, and grow her up to be a prostitute too >dad not okay with that >steals the baby one night >brings her home. tells mum he was hooking up with a prostitute. hits her when she objects >pimp finds out. comes to our house with two other people >dad asks mum to go hide the baby >pimp and dad in a scuffle. pimp accidentally pushes dad hard, he hits his head on a brick wall and starts bleeding out >pimp and his people run away after seemingly killing dad >dad eventually dies within the week >goodriddance.jpg >mum starts a small restaurant from our house >slowly starts earning and making good money >better than low-life dad who would not give her or us any money >mum realizes there is no life for an intersex person like me in Pakistan >makes more money. gets a loan by guaranteeing our house >sends me to Canada to study >i graduate, get a good job and find a partner who loves me as I am Mum's restaurant business also took off over the years. I made money here, and sent some back home. She kept upgrading, and has a very well respected restaurant in hometown now. Sisters also doing very wellI. Once this covid s--- is over, I am bringing all of them to Canada to provide a well deserved vacation Can't believe I am telling my life story on 4chan
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)23:31:50 No.852588742 >be me >born in Pakistan as a intersex person >4th of 4 children. siblings are all female >dad was a real POS. a low-life, poor islamic preacher, and was hell bent on having a boy >has me. but I am a male in appearance, 9 KB JPG but with female genitals >always disregarded by him. beats me up all the time. calls me a shame to the family, and what not >also berates mum, and hits her every now and then too for birthing me >believes it's my mother's fault for birthing all daughters. doesn't know he has to provide the Y chromosome >years pass by >father gets desperate his lineage will end at him >finds a sex worker, who is willing to bare a child with him >knocks her up. she gives birth to a baby girl as well >pimp wants to raise the girl, and grow her up to be a prostitute too >dad not okay with that >steals the baby one night >brings her home. tells mum he was hooking up with a prostitute. hits her when she objects >pimp finds out. comes to our house with two other people >dad asks mum to go hide the baby >pimp and dad in a scuffle. pimp accidentally pushes dad hard, he hits his head on a brick wall and starts bleeding out >pimp and his people run away after seemingly killing dad >dad eventually dies within the week >goodriddance.jpg >mum starts a small restaurant from our house >slowly starts earning and making good money >better than low-life dad who would not give her or us any money >mum realizes there is no life for an intersex person like me in Pakistan >makes more money. gets a loan by guaranteeing our house >sends me to Canada to study >i graduate, get a good job and find a partner who loves me as I am Mum's restaurant business also took off over the years. I made money here, and sent some back home. She kept upgrading, and has a very well respected restaurant in hometown now. Sisters also doing very wellI. Once this covid s--- is over, I am bringing all of them to Canada to provide a well deserved vacation Can't believe I am telling my life story on 4chan

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Spider-anon is the alpha here | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)08:10:39 No.63311578 >turn around and spot spider across the room on ceiling >spray it with bugspray >go back to pc >minute later it crawls across the entire room and drops on me 68 KB JPG w--? : Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)08:19:50 No.63311708 >>63311578 (OP) # >be spider >having fun in some lonely retards room - he stares at his computer for hours on end, motionless and with a bland expression >the lack of movement by this one both intruiges and disgusts me, I think he might be dead >it stares back at me a few times and then proceeds to make rapid noises against the noise machine where its hands are always at >the person leaves the room and comes back with a spray, due to their death grip they missed entirely >the retard sits back down as if they hadn't just tried to kill me | >fall down and land on their head
: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)08:10:39 No.63311578 >turn around and spot spider across the room on ceiling >spray it with bugspray >go back to pc >minute later it crawls across the entire room and drops on me 68 KB JPG w--? : Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)08:19:50 No.63311708 >>63311578 (OP) # >be spider >having fun in some lonely retards room - he stares at his computer for hours on end, motionless and with a bland expression >the lack of movement by this one both intruiges and disgusts me, I think he might be dead >it stares back at me a few times and then proceeds to make rapid noises against the noise machine where its hands are always at >the person leaves the room and comes back with a spray, due to their death grip they missed entirely >the retard sits back down as if they hadn't just tried to kill me | >fall down and land on their head

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Anon finally gets /fit/ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)04:06:10 No.61064092 Wootmatter >be me tooleler Many pony fans are feeling hurt, confused and upset by the news >been getting /fit/ for the past few years >finally made it >hellyeah.jpg >decide to go out >feel confident for the first time that an apparent nazi brony cormmitted a mass shooting There's an urge to get defensive, to state "this isn't who we are!" But that attitude doesn't actually address the problem or do anything to solve it. 805 KB JPG ever >see qt3.14 mirin me >feel invincible >go up and talk to her >it's going well >she's giggling and definitely into me >it'shappening.gif >all of a sudden hear something >BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG >get ventilated >bleeding out >last thing I see is a guy wearing a my little pony shirt holding a gun tfw
: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)04:06:10 No.61064092 Wootmatter >be me tooleler Many pony fans are feeling hurt, confused and upset by the news >been getting /fit/ for the past few years >finally made it >hellyeah.jpg >decide to go out >feel confident for the first time that an apparent nazi brony cormmitted a mass shooting There's an urge to get defensive, to state "this isn't who we are!" But that attitude doesn't actually address the problem or do anything to solve it. 805 KB JPG ever >see qt3.14 mirin me >feel invincible >go up and talk to her >it's going well >she's giggling and definitely into me >it'shappening.gif >all of a sudden hear something >BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG >get ventilated >bleeding out >last thing I see is a guy wearing a my little pony shirt holding a gun tfw

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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)09:50:06 No.852592535 >be american > go outside > get choked by police > get shot by gang members > mass shooting by white incels > go home shoot myself 165 KB JPG how are there even americans left? View Thread
: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)09:50:06 No.852592535 >be american > go outside > get choked by police > get shot by gang members > mass shooting by white incels > go home shoot myself 165 KB JPG how are there even americans left? View Thread

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Anon has low self confidence | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why 04/21/21(Wed)03:08:56 No.63314358 >be me >accidentally look at my reflection on a random object >day ruined 9 KB JPG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous Why 04/21/21(Wed)03:08:56 No.63314358 >be me >accidentally look at my reflection on a random object >day ruined 9 KB JPG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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anon thanks Covid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)17:50:05 No.852566039 >be me >8/10 guy. very much a confident chad >good job. decent life. but lazy AF >work at a startup >always find easiest way to get things done >loved by manager and co-workers >get promotion. only working on projects 190 KB PNG and financial reports now >boss gives new projects all the time. asks me when I can get it done >always over quote. boss cool with my timelines >finish the projects within a day (maybe two). and then not do anything for the next 4-5 days >work from home life. watch TV all day >message boss 2-3 days before deadline telling project is done early >boss always impressed >gives me those 2-3 days off sometimes (with pay) and gives raises often too Thank you Covid. Thank you my chadness.
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)17:50:05 No.852566039 >be me >8/10 guy. very much a confident chad >good job. decent life. but lazy AF >work at a startup >always find easiest way to get things done >loved by manager and co-workers >get promotion. only working on projects 190 KB PNG and financial reports now >boss gives new projects all the time. asks me when I can get it done >always over quote. boss cool with my timelines >finish the projects within a day (maybe two). and then not do anything for the next 4-5 days >work from home life. watch TV all day >message boss 2-3 days before deadline telling project is done early >boss always impressed >gives me those 2-3 days off sometimes (with pay) and gives raises often too Thank you Covid. Thank you my chadness.

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Anon supports the LGBT community. | /r/Greentext

Tguric Anonymous 08/20/19(Tue)17:59:05 No.807597465 >watching t----- p--- >c-- before she gets her d--- out >not gay >not into trannies >> Anonymous 08/20/19(Tue)18:21:42 No.807598 Whatever helps you sleep at night f-----
Tguric Anonymous 08/20/19(Tue)17:59:05 No.807597465 >watching t----- p--- >c-- before she gets her d--- out >not gay >not into trannies >> Anonymous 08/20/19(Tue)18:21:42 No.807598 Whatever helps you sleep at night f-----

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Anon is a wizard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21 (Mon)15:48:41 No.849117527 >be me >Halloween a few years back >Go as a mf wizard >Blue wizard hat w stars and moons n s--- >Blue snuggie i glued velvet stars and moons to >Gettin all the mires from the qts >"Wow anon i love ur costume" >"Thats such a creative costume" >Bitches tryna talk to me all night >Commence festive holiday drinking >See a guy dressed as chef boyardee >Hes got a sack of chef boyardee raviolis >bet him 5 bucks i can chug an entire can of ravioli >He says hes only got 4 dollars >Crack the raviolis and chug like theres no tomorrow >No need to chew, theyre basically lil jello shots >All the females around are now officially disgusted >Disregard females, acquire a free meal and 4 dollarydoos >All the guys at the party now call my the ravioli wizard >>849120106 # >>849125934 #
: Anonymous 03/08/21 (Mon)15:48:41 No.849117527 >be me >Halloween a few years back >Go as a mf wizard >Blue wizard hat w stars and moons n s--- >Blue snuggie i glued velvet stars and moons to >Gettin all the mires from the qts >"Wow anon i love ur costume" >"Thats such a creative costume" >Bitches tryna talk to me all night >Commence festive holiday drinking >See a guy dressed as chef boyardee >Hes got a sack of chef boyardee raviolis >bet him 5 bucks i can chug an entire can of ravioli >He says hes only got 4 dollars >Crack the raviolis and chug like theres no tomorrow >No need to chew, theyre basically lil jello shots >All the females around are now officially disgusted >Disregard females, acquire a free meal and 4 dollarydoos >All the guys at the party now call my the ravioli wizard >>849120106 # >>849125934 #

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Anon has nightmares | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)06:50:29 No.852582859 /b/ros do you ever have homoerotic or gay dreams even when you're not gay? I'll greentext one where in the dream I was a literal f-----. >be me 518 KB JPG >logon to reddit mfw I woke up
: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)06:50:29 No.852582859 /b/ros do you ever have homoerotic or gay dreams even when you're not gay? I'll greentext one where in the dream I was a literal f-----. >be me 518 KB JPG >logon to reddit mfw I woke up

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Anon does not like Apple | /r/Greentext

: Anonymо Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right 89 KB PNG now. >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% сарacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos
: Anonymо Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right 89 KB PNG now. >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% сарacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos

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Anon is a milf hunter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)00:09:48 No.63308309 >Professor emailed me saying to meet her in her office tomorrow morning if possible >Didn't say why 164 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)00:09:48 No.63308309 >Professor emailed me saying to meet her in her office tomorrow morning if possible >Didn't say why 164 KB PNG

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Anon kills a possum | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:01 No.55852 >be 16 >hear dogs obviously attacking something in back yard >go out and get them to leave it alone >oh s--- it's a bloody 33 KB PNG possum >think Its dead, go to put it In garbage >notice Its still breathing >decide to put it out of it's misery >grab a broken skateboard and smash it over it's head >possum starts convulsing >oh god why aren't you dying >keep beating it >feel like Christopher bale killing Jared letto In American psycho >it finally dies >check the body and see the dogs barely scratched it >mfw I remember possums play dead
Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:01 No.55852 >be 16 >hear dogs obviously attacking something in back yard >go out and get them to leave it alone >oh s--- it's a bloody 33 KB PNG possum >think Its dead, go to put it In garbage >notice Its still breathing >decide to put it out of it's misery >grab a broken skateboard and smash it over it's head >possum starts convulsing >oh god why aren't you dying >keep beating it >feel like Christopher bale killing Jared letto In American psycho >it finally dies >check the body and see the dogs barely scratched it >mfw I remember possums play dead

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Anon has goldfish | /r/Greentext

>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me
>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me

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Anon in High School | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/16(Mon) 19:37:06 No.667909700 ITT: Fond HS Memories >be me SUS. nd ther lly ters >17 >teachers invited 1st graders over for a play >stupid as f--- 200 KB PNG >it's about Frozen >goddamn f------ Frozen >play goes along stupidly, half the "actors/actresses" don't even know their lines and lead into abrupt awkward moments >first act ends >cue pitiful clapping and false encouragement from normie teachers >second act leads into the Let it Go song >before the song begins, a teacher comes onto the stage >"Hello everyone, I hope you've enjoyed this fantastic play so far. Before we begin, would anyone give us a suggestion for a Frozen rendition?" >the teacher was letting us select a Frozen remix >h-------- >one of my bros holds up his hand >"Yes Anon?" >"I'd like to suggest a video called "Let it go Ukulele remix (beautiul)" >everyone near him falls silent >a vicious and devious grin curls upon fellow bros lips, as they begin evilly cackling and wringing their hands In case you don't know, Papa Franku made a sexual remix of Let it Go, replacing it with lines describing the desire to be anally f----- by Olaf, almost every one of my beta friends know the song >"Okay Anon, thank you for your suggestion!" >daintily walks off stage, absolutely unaware >1st graders walk onto stage >CUE FILTHY FRANK LET IT GO RENDITION
: Anonymous 02/08/16(Mon) 19:37:06 No.667909700 ITT: Fond HS Memories >be me SUS. nd ther lly ters >17 >teachers invited 1st graders over for a play >stupid as f--- 200 KB PNG >it's about Frozen >goddamn f------ Frozen >play goes along stupidly, half the "actors/actresses" don't even know their lines and lead into abrupt awkward moments >first act ends >cue pitiful clapping and false encouragement from normie teachers >second act leads into the Let it Go song >before the song begins, a teacher comes onto the stage >"Hello everyone, I hope you've enjoyed this fantastic play so far. Before we begin, would anyone give us a suggestion for a Frozen rendition?" >the teacher was letting us select a Frozen remix >h-------- >one of my bros holds up his hand >"Yes Anon?" >"I'd like to suggest a video called "Let it go Ukulele remix (beautiul)" >everyone near him falls silent >a vicious and devious grin curls upon fellow bros lips, as they begin evilly cackling and wringing their hands In case you don't know, Papa Franku made a sexual remix of Let it Go, replacing it with lines describing the desire to be anally f----- by Olaf, almost every one of my beta friends know the song >"Okay Anon, thank you for your suggestion!" >daintily walks off stage, absolutely unaware >1st graders walk onto stage >CUE FILTHY FRANK LET IT GO RENDITION

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Anon is gon get hurt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)18:46:29 No.846404796 >walking down dark alleyway >see guy walking towards me fastly >pull out r--- whistle >mfw he smirks and pulls out a r--- whistle silencer 58 KB PNG Damn, dis gonna hurt View Thread
: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)18:46:29 No.846404796 >walking down dark alleyway >see guy walking towards me fastly >pull out r--- whistle >mfw he smirks and pulls out a r--- whistle silencer 58 KB PNG Damn, dis gonna hurt View Thread

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Anon made a dick move | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)12:56:06 No.63298446 >steal best friend's girlfriend by accident Its not my fault I'm smarter, more interesting, and alpha than him, she came unto me. 20 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)12:58:22 No.63298458 >>63298446 (OP)_# She will leave you too. Stupid move on your part. >>63298465 # >>63299937 #
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)12:56:06 No.63298446 >steal best friend's girlfriend by accident Its not my fault I'm smarter, more interesting, and alpha than him, she came unto me. 20 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)12:58:22 No.63298458 >>63298446 (OP)_# She will leave you too. Stupid move on your part. >>63298465 # >>63299937 #

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anon finds the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)17:07:22 No.852563253 >be you >think cilantro tastes like soap >its because a genetic mutation made your tastebuds retarded >be inferior human >be me 638 KB PNG >love cilantro >enjoys all the asian, Mexican and other cuisines you cant bc tastebuds not retarded >be superior tfw
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)17:07:22 No.852563253 >be you >think cilantro tastes like soap >its because a genetic mutation made your tastebuds retarded >be inferior human >be me 638 KB PNG >love cilantro >enjoys all the asian, Mexican and other cuisines you cant bc tastebuds not retarded >be superior tfw

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Anon takes a test | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)17:02:31 No.778 >friend sends me iq test >okay ill do it > finish test and get 75 iq >i cant show this to my friend >i do the test again knowing answers >get 73 >mfw 59 KB PNG
Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)17:02:31 No.778 >friend sends me iq test >okay ill do it > finish test and get 75 iq >i cant show this to my friend >i do the test again knowing answers >get 73 >mfw 59 KB PNG

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Anon likes to shoot up schools | /r/Greentext

>>56049301 (OP) # >be silent in vc >everybody ignores your voice when you try to talk >"why are you so silent anon? pretty sure you're that kind of guy who'll 27 KB JPG shoot up a school"
>>56049301 (OP) # >be silent in vc >everybody ignores your voice when you try to talk >"why are you so silent anon? pretty sure you're that kind of guy who'll 27 KB JPG shoot up a school"

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anon goes to a store | /r/Greentext

I hope she thinks that I'm not a loser... Why this m---------- got a frog head? CANNA Twinkies
I hope she thinks that I'm not a loser... Why this m---------- got a frog head? CANNA Twinkies

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