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Anon hires an escort | /r/Greentext

Anonymous An escort just rejected me, wh(...) 04/21/21(Wed)09:07:55 No.63316301 >be me >25yo, havent had sex in almost 3 years >f--- it, decide to go to a h----- >go through the escorts on this site >wanna find a rly hot one to celebrate kind of losing my virginity a second time after 3 years of none >find the hottest girl imaginable,22yo, 62 KB JPG comments all say shes a beast >pricetag.exe >450buckaroonies per hour, whatever its a one time thing >call her, we talk for like 1 min and she says we shout continue in whatsapp >rly friendy girl, had a nice chat, decided to meet for the deed tomorrow >asks me to send her a pic of myself >a bit nervous but f--- it shes an actual w---- >no reply for 15mins >"im sorry anon but i dont think we should meet, best of luck though" W-- now boys? an actual prostitute didnt wanna f--- me for 450bucks (thats like almost half a months salary where i come from). how does one recover from that? is it possible? getting drunk alone now 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
Anonymous An escort just rejected me, wh(...) 04/21/21(Wed)09:07:55 No.63316301 >be me >25yo, havent had sex in almost 3 years >f--- it, decide to go to a h----- >go through the escorts on this site >wanna find a rly hot one to celebrate kind of losing my virginity a second time after 3 years of none >find the hottest girl imaginable,22yo, 62 KB JPG comments all say shes a beast >pricetag.exe >450buckaroonies per hour, whatever its a one time thing >call her, we talk for like 1 min and she says we shout continue in whatsapp >rly friendy girl, had a nice chat, decided to meet for the deed tomorrow >asks me to send her a pic of myself >a bit nervous but f--- it shes an actual w---- >no reply for 15mins >"im sorry anon but i dont think we should meet, best of luck though" W-- now boys? an actual prostitute didnt wanna f--- me for 450bucks (thats like almost half a months salary where i come from). how does one recover from that? is it possible? getting drunk alone now 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon contemplates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)13:32:49 No.63321401 >have never had any interesting experiences in my life >have never done anything besides play video games and watch youtube videos about video games all my life >no interests or personality NO PLACT NEW 255 KB JPG >not smart either I think it might be too late. How will I ever recover? : Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)13:34:11 No.63321421 >anon discovers hes average Sorry anon im in the same boat so cant help. >>63321475 # : Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)13:34:49 No.63321428 >>63321401 (OP) The fastest way to recover is by going on Grindr and getting TOPPED you will have fun and it will be exciting
: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)13:32:49 No.63321401 >have never had any interesting experiences in my life >have never done anything besides play video games and watch youtube videos about video games all my life >no interests or personality NO PLACT NEW 255 KB JPG >not smart either I think it might be too late. How will I ever recover? : Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)13:34:11 No.63321421 >anon discovers hes average Sorry anon im in the same boat so cant help. >>63321475 # : Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)13:34:49 No.63321428 >>63321401 (OP) The fastest way to recover is by going on Grindr and getting TOPPED you will have fun and it will be exciting

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New Halloween Decoration | /r/Greentext

best way to kill youself? this is what i would do: >wait until Halloween >go to the largest building on campus >hang yourself from the roof dressed as a scarecrow >for the next few days everyone will make jokes about the dank decoration >few more days pass and normies start wondering where Anon is >after about a week ppl start noticing a strange smell >then some school staffers cut the rope of the smelly "decoration" >your soggy rotten body explodes on the pavement below im not really sure what would happen if someone did this. it would absolutely make national news and possibly end Halloween
best way to kill youself? this is what i would do: >wait until Halloween >go to the largest building on campus >hang yourself from the roof dressed as a scarecrow >for the next few days everyone will make jokes about the dank decoration >few more days pass and normies start wondering where Anon is >after about a week ppl start noticing a strange smell >then some school staffers cut the rope of the smelly "decoration" >your soggy rotten body explodes on the pavement below im not really sure what would happen if someone did this. it would absolutely make national news and possibly end Halloween

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Anon is fuckin stupid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:19:40 No.850710433 >messaging girl for a while now >she finally sends me nudes >"what do you think of me, anon?" >type pog, it autocorrects to pig. >press send before I realise me mistake 5 KB JPG >she blocks me before I can explain Why must fate hurt me this way? : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:20:38 No.850710478 : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:21:12 No.850710505 >pog military grade cringe, die alone.
: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:19:40 No.850710433 >messaging girl for a while now >she finally sends me nudes >"what do you think of me, anon?" >type pog, it autocorrects to pig. >press send before I realise me mistake 5 KB JPG >she blocks me before I can explain Why must fate hurt me this way? : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:20:38 No.850710478 : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:21:12 No.850710505 >pog military grade cringe, die alone.

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Listen to a fellow anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/18(Fri)01:07:26 No.4517231C >Be paramedic >Seen dozens of suicides in the last 8 years >The reactions of the loved ones are always bad >None is ever worse than a dad 169 KB JPG loosing his son There is not a thing in this world that is more depressing sounding than a man sobbing while clutching his sons lifeless body. I remember one who killed himself by shotgun slug after he came back from Iraq. There was nothing left of him, and his father got home just as we were getting ready to leave. I couldn't let him see, so I stood there and just didn't let him through. He went downstairs to the basement and clutched his sons old baseball glove, rocking back and forth, just saying "papas here, buddy, papas here." Don't do it anons. >>45172699 #
: Anonymous 03/16/18(Fri)01:07:26 No.4517231C >Be paramedic >Seen dozens of suicides in the last 8 years >The reactions of the loved ones are always bad >None is ever worse than a dad 169 KB JPG loosing his son There is not a thing in this world that is more depressing sounding than a man sobbing while clutching his sons lifeless body. I remember one who killed himself by shotgun slug after he came back from Iraq. There was nothing left of him, and his father got home just as we were getting ready to leave. I couldn't let him see, so I stood there and just didn't let him through. He went downstairs to the basement and clutched his sons old baseball glove, rocking back and forth, just saying "papas here, buddy, papas here." Don't do it anons. >>45172699 #

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Anon tries to understand the female mind. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: k3eazSnQ ) 09/26/20(Sat)20:43:43 No.279414971 >on her deathbed >instead of thinking about her children and husband of 70 years she thinks of some homeless dude who f----- her in a boat trip for 2 days >millions of women consider this 70 KB JPG a great love story Why are women like this?
: Anonymous (ID: k3eazSnQ ) 09/26/20(Sat)20:43:43 No.279414971 >on her deathbed >instead of thinking about her children and husband of 70 years she thinks of some homeless dude who f----- her in a boat trip for 2 days >millions of women consider this 70 KB JPG a great love story Why are women like this?

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Anon is a master procrastinator. | /r/Greentext


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anon is not a loser | /r/Greentext

How about a /devilish/ thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser >over the line 63 KB JPG >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. Who is the loser now?
How about a /devilish/ thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser >over the line 63 KB JPG >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. Who is the loser now?

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Anon is a retard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ? 06/28/17(Wed)17:57:22 No.1223025 Ask a Korean that is proud of his country anything 40 KB PNG 243 Replies / 19 Images View Thread : Anonymous (ID: OE0PIP66 ) 06/28/17(Wed)22:54:10 No.1225455 >>1223025 (OP) # Pepsi isn't a f------ country retard
: Anonymous ? 06/28/17(Wed)17:57:22 No.1223025 Ask a Korean that is proud of his country anything 40 KB PNG 243 Replies / 19 Images View Thread : Anonymous (ID: OE0PIP66 ) 06/28/17(Wed)22:54:10 No.1225455 >>1223025 (OP) # Pepsi isn't a f------ country retard

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Anon gets slopped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)11:43:43 No.852597168 >be me >drunk >getting some of the best head in my life >the bitch is super eager to please me >licks my balls and everything >More than any girl l've dated >bust nut >she happily swallows it all >Realize that if my roommate ever finds out what i did to his dog he'll have me arrested
: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)11:43:43 No.852597168 >be me >drunk >getting some of the best head in my life >the bitch is super eager to please me >licks my balls and everything >More than any girl l've dated >bust nut >she happily swallows it all >Realize that if my roommate ever finds out what i did to his dog he'll have me arrested

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Anon teaches Karen why you shouldn't run over signs | /r/Greentext

15965029 1823782704528885 2088726311223753541 n.jpg 130 KB JPG Story time folks >Be me >Trump supporter >Trump sign outside to trigger mostly millennial college near by >Constantly getting run over and pulled out >Think of idea (pic related) >Plant nails and wait >One day a woman comes to my door >Fat, purple hair, 23 at most, red at the face and starts screaming at me about how it's my fault her tires are flat OhLordMySides.exe >She says if l don't reimburse her for her tire she'll get the police involved >Sudden Idea >Tell her to leave her information so I can send her the check since I would need to go to the bank >Actually does it >Call my lawyer to set up the lawsuit >Get my outside cameras to see her running over my sign >Give her name address and car tags to confirm it was her car >Take her to court, open and shut case >Pay for damages >Throw in some b------- about emotional damage "I don't feel like me or my property is safe just because of my political views" >Actually f------ works >She loses her f------ s--- at this point >Starts screaming about how I agreed to pay and how this should be illegal NoProof.jpeg >Says she can't pay for basic living expenses or college if she has to pay this >Based Judge says "You should of thought about that before tearing down someone's property, you have 30 days to pay" >She gets her tires destroyed, humiliated in court, can't pay for living expenses, probably got kicked out of college and had to pay me 3k in emotional damages So, guys, what parts of my PC should I upgrade? Pic related
15965029 1823782704528885 2088726311223753541 n.jpg 130 KB JPG Story time folks >Be me >Trump supporter >Trump sign outside to trigger mostly millennial college near by >Constantly getting run over and pulled out >Think of idea (pic related) >Plant nails and wait >One day a woman comes to my door >Fat, purple hair, 23 at most, red at the face and starts screaming at me about how it's my fault her tires are flat OhLordMySides.exe >She says if l don't reimburse her for her tire she'll get the police involved >Sudden Idea >Tell her to leave her information so I can send her the check since I would need to go to the bank >Actually does it >Call my lawyer to set up the lawsuit >Get my outside cameras to see her running over my sign >Give her name address and car tags to confirm it was her car >Take her to court, open and shut case >Pay for damages >Throw in some b------- about emotional damage "I don't feel like me or my property is safe just because of my political views" >Actually f------ works >She loses her f------ s--- at this point >Starts screaming about how I agreed to pay and how this should be illegal NoProof.jpeg >Says she can't pay for basic living expenses or college if she has to pay this >Based Judge says "You should of thought about that before tearing down someone's property, you have 30 days to pay" >She gets her tires destroyed, humiliated in court, can't pay for living expenses, probably got kicked out of college and had to pay me 3k in emotional damages So, guys, what parts of my PC should I upgrade? Pic related

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anon finds a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)12:07:21 No.852627123 >be me >25 yr old. 6/10 guy >single for a few years >dating life non-existent >on tinder, bumble, OkCupid and POF >maybe gone on 2 first dates in a year. no i LOAF you 96 KB JPG second dates either time >taking a s--- in the morning, swiping everyone on tinder >swipe right on profile of a cat >1 hour later >itsamatch.mp3 >send first cat people message >talk like cat people for the next hour or so >finally break character >the person on other side tells me she is a 27yr old female >says she is in a relationship. will never share her actual social media, number or photos with me >cat profile just to prove to female friend not all guys on tinder are assholes >fun to talk to and we talk all day >like 16-18 hours that day >end of day, she is like "anon, you sound like a nice person. here is my insta profile. message me there" >jump on IG like a thirsty dog >11/10hottie.jpg >we talk for more days to come. actually become good friends >finally meet up. grab some poutine and chill at the park >tells me, "anon, you're a good guy". wants to set me up with friend >me and friend talk. 9/10 hottie. go on a date. >friend rejects me >sadsinglelife.exe >talk to the cat friend after >she says her friend can f--- off >still wants to set me up with someone >fewdayslater.jpg >messages me, "anon. my sister is moving to town for her studies. want to go to airport with me to pick her up?" >on the way, tells me she wants to set me up with her sister >sister is 11/10 too >happytears.jpg >make good first impression on the sister >eventually go on a date with her >followed by date 2, 3 and more >in a relationship with her now >happy with life in such a long long time tinder works in mysterious ways. thank you cat lady.
: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)12:07:21 No.852627123 >be me >25 yr old. 6/10 guy >single for a few years >dating life non-existent >on tinder, bumble, OkCupid and POF >maybe gone on 2 first dates in a year. no i LOAF you 96 KB JPG second dates either time >taking a s--- in the morning, swiping everyone on tinder >swipe right on profile of a cat >1 hour later >itsamatch.mp3 >send first cat people message >talk like cat people for the next hour or so >finally break character >the person on other side tells me she is a 27yr old female >says she is in a relationship. will never share her actual social media, number or photos with me >cat profile just to prove to female friend not all guys on tinder are assholes >fun to talk to and we talk all day >like 16-18 hours that day >end of day, she is like "anon, you sound like a nice person. here is my insta profile. message me there" >jump on IG like a thirsty dog >11/10hottie.jpg >we talk for more days to come. actually become good friends >finally meet up. grab some poutine and chill at the park >tells me, "anon, you're a good guy". wants to set me up with friend >me and friend talk. 9/10 hottie. go on a date. >friend rejects me >sadsinglelife.exe >talk to the cat friend after >she says her friend can f--- off >still wants to set me up with someone >fewdayslater.jpg >messages me, "anon. my sister is moving to town for her studies. want to go to airport with me to pick her up?" >on the way, tells me she wants to set me up with her sister >sister is 11/10 too >happytears.jpg >make good first impression on the sister >eventually go on a date with her >followed by date 2, 3 and more >in a relationship with her now >happy with life in such a long long time tinder works in mysterious ways. thank you cat lady.

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Anon complains | /r/Greentext

File: 91408619_55df76d5-2245-4(...).jg (15 KB, 410x357) O Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)15:52:31 No.63316195 [Reply] >>63316207 >celebrity cries about being lonely
File: 91408619_55df76d5-2245-4(...).jg (15 KB, 410x357) O Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)15:52:31 No.63316195 [Reply] >>63316207 >celebrity cries about being lonely

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Anon has the iq of a pea | /r/Greentext

50m (4/20 18:00) · 63308986 5 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 14KB · (320 × 218) 5 Replies S--- f--- s--- > Be me > Be in a group of three friends (me, a girl I have a crush on, a chad) > The girl I have a crush on doesnt seem to look at me that way > Im jealous of chad because he is over 6'1 and a beast in strength > Afraid of chad taking her from me > "Why do girls always have to like brainless chads instead of nice guys".png > Decide that if we all take iq test I can prove myself, I always brag about how smart I am on here and anons agree with me all the time > Suggest the idea for "s--- and giggles" > Mfw when both the girl I like and chad have higher iqs than me (chad being the highest) Am I just a waste of biological matter?
50m (4/20 18:00) · 63308986 5 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 14KB · (320 × 218) 5 Replies S--- f--- s--- > Be me > Be in a group of three friends (me, a girl I have a crush on, a chad) > The girl I have a crush on doesnt seem to look at me that way > Im jealous of chad because he is over 6'1 and a beast in strength > Afraid of chad taking her from me > "Why do girls always have to like brainless chads instead of nice guys".png > Decide that if we all take iq test I can prove myself, I always brag about how smart I am on here and anons agree with me all the time > Suggest the idea for "s--- and giggles" > Mfw when both the girl I like and chad have higher iqs than me (chad being the highest) Am I just a waste of biological matter?

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Anon goes to school | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous' Dad 04/21/21(Wed)12:45:10 No.9585224 File: k.png (234 KB, 557x450) >>9585102 (OP) >Be me >14, so 2002 >Find out about a "Hole' " in bathroom wall >The part that fell off can be used to cover it >Hole's quite deep, could probably fit my whole arm in there >Decide to put piss jars there >End up putting a total of 4, could probably fit more but i got tired of pissing in jars >Close it >lt's a bathroom, so the smell of urine doesn't bother anyone >Ffw to 2018, going to put my daughter in the same school >Remember the hole, go check it out >There are 6 jars now
O Anonymous' Dad 04/21/21(Wed)12:45:10 No.9585224 File: k.png (234 KB, 557x450) >>9585102 (OP) >Be me >14, so 2002 >Find out about a "Hole' " in bathroom wall >The part that fell off can be used to cover it >Hole's quite deep, could probably fit my whole arm in there >Decide to put piss jars there >End up putting a total of 4, could probably fit more but i got tired of pissing in jars >Close it >lt's a bathroom, so the smell of urine doesn't bother anyone >Ffw to 2018, going to put my daughter in the same school >Remember the hole, go check it out >There are 6 jars now

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Anon gets robbed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous never thought I will be happy (...) 04/21/21(Wed)15:35:59 No.63316554 >Be me yesterday >its morning >late to work, so rushing through my morning routine >show up 15 minutes late, boss is angry but idc 865 KB JPG >leave office hours later >drive up to my driveway >s--- I left the garage door open >not really bothered bc I live in a nice neighborhood, and nothing was unusual at first >go inside and get dirty clothes for a quick wash, before I eat dinner >get back to the garage >mfw can't find my washing machine >mfw they took my 10 year old grimy shitwasher instead of the 200$ toolbox Thank you unknown thief, had to get rid of that washer years ago, now I can finally get a new one
: Anonymous never thought I will be happy (...) 04/21/21(Wed)15:35:59 No.63316554 >Be me yesterday >its morning >late to work, so rushing through my morning routine >show up 15 minutes late, boss is angry but idc 865 KB JPG >leave office hours later >drive up to my driveway >s--- I left the garage door open >not really bothered bc I live in a nice neighborhood, and nothing was unusual at first >go inside and get dirty clothes for a quick wash, before I eat dinner >get back to the garage >mfw can't find my washing machine >mfw they took my 10 year old grimy shitwasher instead of the 200$ toolbox Thank you unknown thief, had to get rid of that washer years ago, now I can finally get a new one

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Anon is a musical prodegy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)11:23:21 No.852613778 >online music class >never pay attention >never practice >Do random s--- with drum when we have a exam >mfw i have 100% 60 KB JPG Am i a prodegy?
: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)11:23:21 No.852613778 >online music class >never pay attention >never practice >Do random s--- with drum when we have a exam >mfw i have 100% 60 KB JPG Am i a prodegy?

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Anon prefers the old fashion way | /r/Greentext

>had sex with my bf last night| >sort of >he's very against "sluts" >thinks women should be virgins bla bla >so whatever i lied >anyway he was the worst lay i 8 KB JPG ever had in my life >d--- was small yes but i've had small guys who made up for it in other ways >he f----- me for about 20 minutes >on and off because he didn't have stamina and needed to rest a bunch >it became clear he wasn't going to come from intercourse >told him to just j------- >so he grabs his c--- ridiculously tight like he was trying to strangle it >shouts "mommy" as he comes >mfw
>had sex with my bf last night| >sort of >he's very against "sluts" >thinks women should be virgins bla bla >so whatever i lied >anyway he was the worst lay i 8 KB JPG ever had in my life >d--- was small yes but i've had small guys who made up for it in other ways >he f----- me for about 20 minutes >on and off because he didn't have stamina and needed to rest a bunch >it became clear he wasn't going to come from intercourse >told him to just j------- >so he grabs his c--- ridiculously tight like he was trying to strangle it >shouts "mommy" as he comes >mfw

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Anon has an accident. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)13:06:02 No.63318651 f---. > Be masturbating to some weird s---, as usual. > Realize that the c-- is here. > Way quicker than usual, it only took like f------ 30 seconds. > C--. > It felt weird, not as good as usual. 69 KB JPG > But c-- a lot. > Begin cleaning up. > Realize that it's way too liquid and not slimy at all. > It doesn't smell like c--. > It doesnt look like c--. I just p----- myself.
: Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)13:06:02 No.63318651 f---. > Be masturbating to some weird s---, as usual. > Realize that the c-- is here. > Way quicker than usual, it only took like f------ 30 seconds. > C--. > It felt weird, not as good as usual. 69 KB JPG > But c-- a lot. > Begin cleaning up. > Realize that it's way too liquid and not slimy at all. > It doesn't smell like c--. > It doesnt look like c--. I just p----- myself.

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Anon attempts something | /r/Greentext

DC8744CE-8D71-478B-8ECD-28667ABC6618.jpg 96 KB JPG I'm gonna walk into McDonald's with this hat on and convince some workers that the holocaust didn't happen. Wish me luck
DC8744CE-8D71-478B-8ECD-28667ABC6618.jpg 96 KB JPG I'm gonna walk into McDonald's with this hat on and convince some workers that the holocaust didn't happen. Wish me luck

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