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Anon gets revenge | /r/Greentext

File: 1568373644855.gif (358 KB, 500x357) U Anonymous 09/14/19(Sat)15:58:03 No.54403284 ► >>54403371 >>54403385 >>54403424 > Live with mom for a year. > She lives in a trashy neighborhood where every single house has a dog that is left outside both day and night. > Every single dog on every house barks at me when I pass by jogging in the afternoons. >I complain to a neighbor about it, he says that if I don't like it then I should start running somewhere else. > idea-dot-jpg > Shift my morning routine to 5 in the morning. > Choose a long route that covers as many houses with dogs as possible. > Run through the neighborhood with every single dog barking fiercely at me at 5 in the morning. > By the time I get home at 05:55 I can still hear every dog in the neighborhood barking and howling at eachother. > Same neighbor complains about it. > I tell him "If you don't like it, you should start waking up at 5 in the morning". > Do this every day. Get f-----, you negligent normies.
File: 1568373644855.gif (358 KB, 500x357) U Anonymous 09/14/19(Sat)15:58:03 No.54403284 ► >>54403371 >>54403385 >>54403424 > Live with mom for a year. > She lives in a trashy neighborhood where every single house has a dog that is left outside both day and night. > Every single dog on every house barks at me when I pass by jogging in the afternoons. >I complain to a neighbor about it, he says that if I don't like it then I should start running somewhere else. > idea-dot-jpg > Shift my morning routine to 5 in the morning. > Choose a long route that covers as many houses with dogs as possible. > Run through the neighborhood with every single dog barking fiercely at me at 5 in the morning. > By the time I get home at 05:55 I can still hear every dog in the neighborhood barking and howling at eachother. > Same neighbor complains about it. > I tell him "If you don't like it, you should start waking up at 5 in the morning". > Do this every day. Get f-----, you negligent normies.

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Anon is a liar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/19(Sun)22:56:22 No.791764886 > be me > actually have a really good life, get girls, etc > get sad every once in a while > go on 4chan and thank God I'm not like any of you degenerates > thx guys 3 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/03/19(Sun)22:56:22 No.791764886 > be me > actually have a really good life, get girls, etc > get sad every once in a while > go on 4chan and thank God I'm not like any of you degenerates > thx guys 3 KB JPG

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anon is horny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/03/19(Sun)01:53:32 No.794007140 >not had sex for 3 months >resorted to m----------- whenever there is nothing else >up late one night >youtube got boring so decided to go on pornhub just to watch >nope.jpeg >find video to jerk it to >remember this one thing i read that if you wrap your pillow around your d--- it feels good when you f--- it >f--- my pillow until i need to run nut.exe >mfw i didn't ask my pillow for consent 150 KB PNG >mfw i r---- my pillow what do guys
: Anonymous 03/03/19(Sun)01:53:32 No.794007140 >not had sex for 3 months >resorted to m----------- whenever there is nothing else >up late one night >youtube got boring so decided to go on pornhub just to watch >nope.jpeg >find video to jerk it to >remember this one thing i read that if you wrap your pillow around your d--- it feels good when you f--- it >f--- my pillow until i need to run nut.exe >mfw i didn't ask my pillow for consent 150 KB PNG >mfw i r---- my pillow what do guys

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Furry yiff diaper piss porn | /r/Greentext

>be me >one of the founding-fathers of the internet >working in accordance with the US government; as the arms race with the USSR rages on >create a communications system capable of withstanding nuclear war >after extreme tension, the Soviet Union collapses on live television >fast-forward 30 years later.. >think of how your creation has benefited humanity, and how they use it today >mfw they use it for posting furry yiff diaper piss p---
>be me >one of the founding-fathers of the internet >working in accordance with the US government; as the arms race with the USSR rages on >create a communications system capable of withstanding nuclear war >after extreme tension, the Soviet Union collapses on live television >fast-forward 30 years later.. >think of how your creation has benefited humanity, and how they use it today >mfw they use it for posting furry yiff diaper piss p---

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Anon is doing the deed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)06:31:52 No.852663972 >>852663312 # K >Be me >Вe 14 >Dad Married this 28 year old Petite green eyed brunet >She's pretty cool and tries to be my friend, slowly start to trust her >One day while Dad was at work she gives me a REALLY long hug, me being pretty innocent at the time just enjoys it >Start to feel weird and try to pull away and go play Metalgear 3 Online on PS2 with my friends >She kisses me and drags me into the basement >WellAllrightThen.png >She slips her pants off and bends over the washing machine >Proceed to plow her with all I have Thus started a really f----- up relationship with a manipulative, but sexy as all hell P--- that married my Dad to get at me.
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)06:31:52 No.852663972 >>852663312 # K >Be me >Вe 14 >Dad Married this 28 year old Petite green eyed brunet >She's pretty cool and tries to be my friend, slowly start to trust her >One day while Dad was at work she gives me a REALLY long hug, me being pretty innocent at the time just enjoys it >Start to feel weird and try to pull away and go play Metalgear 3 Online on PS2 with my friends >She kisses me and drags me into the basement >WellAllrightThen.png >She slips her pants off and bends over the washing machine >Proceed to plow her with all I have Thus started a really f----- up relationship with a manipulative, but sexy as all hell P--- that married my Dad to get at me.

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Anon buys cereal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/11/18(Thu)21:23:37 No.782101531 >Be me >yesterday >bought new cereal >ffw to today >have first bowl of cereal for breakfast 150 KB PNG >go to uni >come back home >cereal box is full of ants >cereal doesn't even have sugar or anything >pour another bowl >it's f------ full of ants >pour milk and eat the ants in a fit of anger f--- you ants 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 10/11/18(Thu)21:23:37 No.782101531 >Be me >yesterday >bought new cereal >ffw to today >have first bowl of cereal for breakfast 150 KB PNG >go to uni >come back home >cereal box is full of ants >cereal doesn't even have sugar or anything >pour another bowl >it's f------ full of ants >pour milk and eat the ants in a fit of anger f--- you ants 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is empowered | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)19:08:36 No.852620170 >be me 2 years ago >stand in line in local mcdonalds >next to me is 500lbs bluewhale staring at me >stare back >stare into his soul and into his deepest desires of f------ a body pillow >he backs off >feel empowered as f--- >qt3.14 as cashier >she smiles at me - I think its a hint >me still hyped because of bluewhale behind me >pay her >she asks me if I want the receipt >"only if your number is on it" >I realize what I have done >She looks at me the way you look at crack addicts >guy behind me snorts, obviously trying not to laugh >mfw i was about to kill myself this night Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)19:12:50 No.852620425 Well your failure made people laugh two years later so that's pretty good.
O Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)19:08:36 No.852620170 >be me 2 years ago >stand in line in local mcdonalds >next to me is 500lbs bluewhale staring at me >stare back >stare into his soul and into his deepest desires of f------ a body pillow >he backs off >feel empowered as f--- >qt3.14 as cashier >she smiles at me - I think its a hint >me still hyped because of bluewhale behind me >pay her >she asks me if I want the receipt >"only if your number is on it" >I realize what I have done >She looks at me the way you look at crack addicts >guy behind me snorts, obviously trying not to laugh >mfw i was about to kill myself this night Anonymous 04/21/21(Wed)19:12:50 No.852620425 Well your failure made people laugh two years later so that's pretty good.

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Anon gets a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)19:58:29 No.63304089 >be me, 22 >finally trick a girl into loving me >still can't kick the 10 years of p---/4chan addiction >goes through my phone one day and sees all my sick s--- >feet, sissy, BBC, even pictures of 88 KB JPG her irl friends >sees pictures of my old HS oneitis that I photoshopped so her mouth was open with the face app >dumps me and tells everybody >Girls start blocking me on social media F---! You said things would get better with a girlfriend! GOD DAMNIT. : Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)20:00:27 No.63304111 >>63304089 (OP) # >F---! You said things would get better with a girlfriend! GOD DAMNIT. No I didn't. I said things would get better for ME if I had girlfriend.
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)19:58:29 No.63304089 >be me, 22 >finally trick a girl into loving me >still can't kick the 10 years of p---/4chan addiction >goes through my phone one day and sees all my sick s--- >feet, sissy, BBC, even pictures of 88 KB JPG her irl friends >sees pictures of my old HS oneitis that I photoshopped so her mouth was open with the face app >dumps me and tells everybody >Girls start blocking me on social media F---! You said things would get better with a girlfriend! GOD DAMNIT. : Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)20:00:27 No.63304111 >>63304089 (OP) # >F---! You said things would get better with a girlfriend! GOD DAMNIT. No I didn't. I said things would get better for ME if I had girlfriend.

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Anon gets surrounded | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: boi8mKM9 ) 04/25/14(Fri)14:11:39 No.543818057 > Be year 2040, women rule the world > Rihanna is their leader > Be stuck in concentration camp for men > Rihanna killing all the dudes because they found a way to reproduce without 83 КВ PNG us > Group of us overpower gaurdesses > Be running > Get surrounded > standoff.PNG > all of a sudden a masked hero appears, with his schlong flapping in the wind > beats up all the women > sets all the dudes free > much wow, many thanks > takes mask off > mfw it was Chris Brown
Anonymous (ID: boi8mKM9 ) 04/25/14(Fri)14:11:39 No.543818057 > Be year 2040, women rule the world > Rihanna is their leader > Be stuck in concentration camp for men > Rihanna killing all the dudes because they found a way to reproduce without 83 КВ PNG us > Group of us overpower gaurdesses > Be running > Get surrounded > standoff.PNG > all of a sudden a masked hero appears, with his schlong flapping in the wind > beats up all the women > sets all the dudes free > much wow, many thanks > takes mask off > mfw it was Chris Brown

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Anon meets his new classmate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)08:36:48 No.63326699 >Good morning, class. Say hello to the new girl. She recently transferred here from Nebraska. Please be nice to her. How do you respond? 798 KB JPG 12 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)08:44:48 No.63326786 open bob now
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)08:36:48 No.63326699 >Good morning, class. Say hello to the new girl. She recently transferred here from Nebraska. Please be nice to her. How do you respond? 798 KB JPG 12 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)08:44:48 No.63326786 open bob now

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Anon Is In The Friendzone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)00:32:03 No.63329347 gnite dude, thank u for ur advice, i really appreciate it and its going to definitely help me tmrw, i hope ur mom has a good wedding and u have fun and stuff. nite bro! OAA377D2-FFCC-4027-95EE-D3BD127FACA1.jpg 88 KB JPG >helping women out only puts you in the friendzone >helping women out only puts you in the friendzone >helping women out only puts you in the friendzone >helping women out only puts you in the friendzone >helping women out only puts you in the friendzone : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)00:34:00 No.63329356 just go after a girl that actually likes you retard
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)00:32:03 No.63329347 gnite dude, thank u for ur advice, i really appreciate it and its going to definitely help me tmrw, i hope ur mom has a good wedding and u have fun and stuff. nite bro! OAA377D2-FFCC-4027-95EE-D3BD127FACA1.jpg 88 KB JPG >helping women out only puts you in the friendzone >helping women out only puts you in the friendzone >helping women out only puts you in the friendzone >helping women out only puts you in the friendzone >helping women out only puts you in the friendzone : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)00:34:00 No.63329356 just go after a girl that actually likes you retard

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Anon has a superpower | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)08:17:32 No.63329254 This is a story about how I found out about my superpower to turn people gay > Be me > Fit, handsome looking > Have a male roommate 18 KB JPG > Go to room after school > Have a bunk bed > Lay down cause tired > Roomie is in the same room > Chill > Suddenly roomie says something > Didn't hear him, ask him to repeat it again > "Hey, Anon. Wouldn't it be cool if I sucked your d---?" > Think he's joking, say yeah and add onto the joke >He climbs down and stares at me > Stare back at him >He touches my pants > W-- > Punch him and tell him to gtfo > He says ok Fast forward to a few months > Meet a guy at some festival > He was impressed by my martial arts skills (I did taekwondo and demonstrated some kicks > Let's call him Niggerfaggot > Show him some more of my kicks > He's impressed and wants me to teach him > Say sure > Exchange numbers > Hang out a few times > He really likes asian culture > I'm asian > Show him anime > After a few weeks he becomes a weeb > Hang out some more > Visit a themepark with him and some friends > We go on a rollercoaster > It's cool > Reach the highpoint > Niggerfaggot literally screams "ANON I LOVE YOU" > Never hang out with him ever again This can't be a coincidence > Think I can use this power to make girls single > Turn people with hot gfs gay > Finally they're all mine > Go up to a 9/10 > Try to talk to her > "sorry, anon. I'm gay." > mfw
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)08:17:32 No.63329254 This is a story about how I found out about my superpower to turn people gay > Be me > Fit, handsome looking > Have a male roommate 18 KB JPG > Go to room after school > Have a bunk bed > Lay down cause tired > Roomie is in the same room > Chill > Suddenly roomie says something > Didn't hear him, ask him to repeat it again > "Hey, Anon. Wouldn't it be cool if I sucked your d---?" > Think he's joking, say yeah and add onto the joke >He climbs down and stares at me > Stare back at him >He touches my pants > W-- > Punch him and tell him to gtfo > He says ok Fast forward to a few months > Meet a guy at some festival > He was impressed by my martial arts skills (I did taekwondo and demonstrated some kicks > Let's call him Niggerfaggot > Show him some more of my kicks > He's impressed and wants me to teach him > Say sure > Exchange numbers > Hang out a few times > He really likes asian culture > I'm asian > Show him anime > After a few weeks he becomes a weeb > Hang out some more > Visit a themepark with him and some friends > We go on a rollercoaster > It's cool > Reach the highpoint > Niggerfaggot literally screams "ANON I LOVE YOU" > Never hang out with him ever again This can't be a coincidence > Think I can use this power to make girls single > Turn people with hot gfs gay > Finally they're all mine > Go up to a 9/10 > Try to talk to her > "sorry, anon. I'm gay." > mfw

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Anon hates redditors | /r/Greentext

>Be me >post real quality greentexts on 4chan everyday >friend is redditfag >one day goes up to me and shows me his post on 260 KB JPG r/4chan > he took my post from 4chan > got 32k upvotes > tell him its mine > doesnt believe me and tells me i have to prove it > cant prove it I know you see this Michael, f--- you
>Be me >post real quality greentexts on 4chan everyday >friend is redditfag >one day goes up to me and shows me his post on 260 KB JPG r/4chan > he took my post from 4chan > got 32k upvotes > tell him its mine > doesnt believe me and tells me i have to prove it > cant prove it I know you see this Michael, f--- you

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Anons son is different | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:04:14 No.63329932 >and heres our sons room, you can see hes different from the others 196 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:05:33 No.63329945 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:14:57 No.63330006 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)05:27:57 No.63330507 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)05:52:39 No.63330666 >>63329932 (OP) # >Oh, good morning, dear sir or madam. Do you have a moment to talk about open source software? 40 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:04:14 No.63329932 >and heres our sons room, you can see hes different from the others 196 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:05:33 No.63329945 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:14:57 No.63330006 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)05:27:57 No.63330507 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)05:52:39 No.63330666 >>63329932 (OP) # >Oh, good morning, dear sir or madam. Do you have a moment to talk about open source software? 40 KB JPG

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Anon is not attractive | /r/Greentext

>at university >accidentally bump into a girl carrying papers >kneel down to help her collect them >our eyes meet >l say something like "hey, its like in the movies" 228 KB PNG >"yeah except in movies the guys attractive"
>at university >accidentally bump into a girl carrying papers >kneel down to help her collect them >our eyes meet >l say something like "hey, its like in the movies" 228 KB PNG >"yeah except in movies the guys attractive"

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Anon has an English lesson | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)09:48:07 No.852674088 >be me >Moved back to Poland >have English lessons even though im more fluent than the teacher >Teacher's going round asking everyone the same question > "What do you hate" > its my turn > Teacher asks "What do you hate [Anon]?" > *dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it* >i confidently and loudly say "Minorities"
Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)09:48:07 No.852674088 >be me >Moved back to Poland >have English lessons even though im more fluent than the teacher >Teacher's going round asking everyone the same question > "What do you hate" > its my turn > Teacher asks "What do you hate [Anon]?" > *dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it* >i confidently and loudly say "Minorities"

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Anon gets friend zoned by a prostitute | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)12:09:40 No.63034762 >19 >talking to girl who does onlyfans in my neighborhood >sucks d--- for money --- sometimes >wanna get my first b------ >we meet up >we smoke weed and talk for a bit 507 KB PNG >l start to pull out the money and she stops me >"You're just so nice Anon, I wanna be friends with you, so sucking your d--- feels wrong." i can't believe i got friendzoned by a prostitute what the f--- is wrong with me
: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)12:09:40 No.63034762 >19 >talking to girl who does onlyfans in my neighborhood >sucks d--- for money --- sometimes >wanna get my first b------ >we meet up >we smoke weed and talk for a bit 507 KB PNG >l start to pull out the money and she stops me >"You're just so nice Anon, I wanna be friends with you, so sucking your d--- feels wrong." i can't believe i got friendzoned by a prostitute what the f--- is wrong with me

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Anon gets a request | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)00:25:10 No.549 >get request to join game >close game >log out of steam >shut down computer >turn off circuit breaker >hide under the bed
Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)00:25:10 No.549 >get request to join game >close game >log out of steam >shut down computer >turn off circuit breaker >hide under the bed

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Anon sells weed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake feels good man drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class
: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake feels good man drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class

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Anon hires an escort | /r/Greentext

Anonymous An escort just rejected me, wh(...) 04/21/21(Wed)09:07:55 No.63316301 >be me >25yo, havent had sex in almost 3 years >f--- it, decide to go to a h----- >go through the escorts on this site >wanna find a rly hot one to celebrate kind of losing my virginity a second time after 3 years of none >find the hottest girl imaginable,22yo, 62 KB JPG comments all say shes a beast >pricetag.exe >450buckaroonies per hour, whatever its a one time thing >call her, we talk for like 1 min and she says we shout continue in whatsapp >rly friendy girl, had a nice chat, decided to meet for the deed tomorrow >asks me to send her a pic of myself >a bit nervous but f--- it shes an actual w---- >no reply for 15mins >"im sorry anon but i dont think we should meet, best of luck though" W-- now boys? an actual prostitute didnt wanna f--- me for 450bucks (thats like almost half a months salary where i come from). how does one recover from that? is it possible? getting drunk alone now 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
Anonymous An escort just rejected me, wh(...) 04/21/21(Wed)09:07:55 No.63316301 >be me >25yo, havent had sex in almost 3 years >f--- it, decide to go to a h----- >go through the escorts on this site >wanna find a rly hot one to celebrate kind of losing my virginity a second time after 3 years of none >find the hottest girl imaginable,22yo, 62 KB JPG comments all say shes a beast >pricetag.exe >450buckaroonies per hour, whatever its a one time thing >call her, we talk for like 1 min and she says we shout continue in whatsapp >rly friendy girl, had a nice chat, decided to meet for the deed tomorrow >asks me to send her a pic of myself >a bit nervous but f--- it shes an actual w---- >no reply for 15mins >"im sorry anon but i dont think we should meet, best of luck though" W-- now boys? an actual prostitute didnt wanna f--- me for 450bucks (thats like almost half a months salary where i come from). how does one recover from that? is it possible? getting drunk alone now 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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