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Anon doesn’t like youtube | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)20:41:00 No.852808088 >be me about a year ago >see a yt video from one of the channels I've subscribed to >it's just a black screen with "black lives matter" for like 10 minutes >not even music or anything, just pure virtue signaling 341 KB JPG >look at comments >top comment is the most retarded s--- >something like, "I was sitting here watching the video, when 5 minutes in, my brother came in and asked if I was just staring at a picture like a f------ idiot. I proudly said no, this is a video. Watched all 10 minutes and gave it a like." >realized the youtube comment section is more f----- than I ever thought imaginable >also unsubscribed from the channel because f--- that s---
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)20:41:00 No.852808088 >be me about a year ago >see a yt video from one of the channels I've subscribed to >it's just a black screen with "black lives matter" for like 10 minutes >not even music or anything, just pure virtue signaling 341 KB JPG >look at comments >top comment is the most retarded s--- >something like, "I was sitting here watching the video, when 5 minutes in, my brother came in and asked if I was just staring at a picture like a f------ idiot. I proudly said no, this is a video. Watched all 10 minutes and gave it a like." >realized the youtube comment section is more f----- than I ever thought imaginable >also unsubscribed from the channel because f--- that s---

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Anon invites Shitlibs | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 05/16/20(Sat)20:27:22 No.45072332 >>45072613 >>45077043 >Halloween 2019 >invite friends over >several friends, are coming >i'm a nice guy so i allow it >realize all of them are shitlibs >we're talking Starbucks Marxist Young Turks fans >three days before halloween buddy calls >we regularly make Nazi jokes and speak broken, angry German at eachother >l jokingly tell him to dress for the party as an SS officer >dude's 6'3", semi-built, blonde, blue eyes >he says he'll think about it >fas forward to Halloween >he's late >call him >"Hey bro, where you at?" >"Parden mein tardiness mein furher" >"Bro. You did it?" >"Da." >I see headlights outside >he drove his wife's Volkswagon. >little red slug-bug pulls up >Shitlibs have no idea >I realize what might happen >buddy steps out of his car >lights a f------ c-- attached to one of those weird sticks >i open the door so nobody hears him >steps in my living room in front of -15 people >"VER IZ ZE JUDEN?" >he sees our buddy Zach >Zach is cool. He gets up and runs >SSbro catches him >wrestles him out the front door >drags him to his slug bug >girl with blue hair is on her phone >all my friends who get the joke are having THE BEST time >i'm praying she didn't call the police She called the police. >SSbro peels out >was actually taking Zach on a beer run >too embarassed to actually go into a store by himself >they get pulled over on the highway >apparently SSbro rolled down the window >told the officer "Oh thank god, will you get this guy to the chamber for me?" >cop did not laugh.
I Anonymous 05/16/20(Sat)20:27:22 No.45072332 >>45072613 >>45077043 >Halloween 2019 >invite friends over >several friends, are coming >i'm a nice guy so i allow it >realize all of them are shitlibs >we're talking Starbucks Marxist Young Turks fans >three days before halloween buddy calls >we regularly make Nazi jokes and speak broken, angry German at eachother >l jokingly tell him to dress for the party as an SS officer >dude's 6'3", semi-built, blonde, blue eyes >he says he'll think about it >fas forward to Halloween >he's late >call him >"Hey bro, where you at?" >"Parden mein tardiness mein furher" >"Bro. You did it?" >"Da." >I see headlights outside >he drove his wife's Volkswagon. >little red slug-bug pulls up >Shitlibs have no idea >I realize what might happen >buddy steps out of his car >lights a f------ c-- attached to one of those weird sticks >i open the door so nobody hears him >steps in my living room in front of -15 people >"VER IZ ZE JUDEN?" >he sees our buddy Zach >Zach is cool. He gets up and runs >SSbro catches him >wrestles him out the front door >drags him to his slug bug >girl with blue hair is on her phone >all my friends who get the joke are having THE BEST time >i'm praying she didn't call the police She called the police. >SSbro peels out >was actually taking Zach on a beer run >too embarassed to actually go into a store by himself >they get pulled over on the highway >apparently SSbro rolled down the window >told the officer "Oh thank god, will you get this guy to the chamber for me?" >cop did not laugh.

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Anon has a problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)04:42:06 No.63361056 >want to watch an age restricted YouTube video >Google wants me to send them a picture of my ID to prove that I'm 18 >cant watch the f------ video the internet is f------ ruined 6 KB JPG 16 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)06:01:20 No.63361680 thats your fault for living in Europe 41 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)04:42:06 No.63361056 >want to watch an age restricted YouTube video >Google wants me to send them a picture of my ID to prove that I'm 18 >cant watch the f------ video the internet is f------ ruined 6 KB JPG 16 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)06:01:20 No.63361680 thats your fault for living in Europe 41 KB JPG

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Anon is a bitch-ass pussy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)12:32:11 No.63357247 >try to screenshot something on my phone >this requires you to press home button and off button at the same time >accidentally exit the app and turn off phone 263 KB JPG I am ending my life tomorrow
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)12:32:11 No.63357247 >try to screenshot something on my phone >this requires you to press home button and off button at the same time >accidentally exit the app and turn off phone 263 KB JPG I am ending my life tomorrow

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Anons parents don't believe the coof | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/21(Mon)08:25:03 No.850224142 >parents wont let me take the vaccine dafuq? >they have seen SCIENTIFIC FACEBOOK VIDEOS > what do 148 KB PNG 17 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/22/21(Mon)08:25:03 No.850224142 >parents wont let me take the vaccine dafuq? >they have seen SCIENTIFIC FACEBOOK VIDEOS > what do 148 KB PNG 17 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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That was intense | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/17(Mon)14:45:09 No.35829949 >playing WoW >inspect another player >their current target changes to me >knows I'm inspecting his gear >mfw 76 KB JPG >log off and delete character That was close
: Anonymous 03/27/17(Mon)14:45:09 No.35829949 >playing WoW >inspect another player >their current target changes to me >knows I'm inspecting his gear >mfw 76 KB JPG >log off and delete character That was close

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Anon makes a new best friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.
Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.

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Anon likes to vape | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:51:46 No.852796694 >go to work >coworker offers me a vape >smoke it in the bathroom >buzzed as s--- >take biggest s--- of my life >life is good 6 KB PNG >thanks coworker : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:54:01 No.852796859 Nice : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:54:39 No.852796899 >>852796694 (OP) # You just inhaled covid, my dude. R.I.P.
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:51:46 No.852796694 >go to work >coworker offers me a vape >smoke it in the bathroom >buzzed as s--- >take biggest s--- of my life >life is good 6 KB PNG >thanks coworker : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:54:01 No.852796859 Nice : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:54:39 No.852796899 >>852796694 (OP) # You just inhaled covid, my dude. R.I.P.

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Anon is French | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous II 04/21/19(Sun)00:29:50 No.104521401 >Americans don't celebrate Easter because they don't want to hear about someone that recovered for free 88 KB GIF : Anonymous . 04/21/19(Sun)00:32:19 No.104521453 F--- YOU
: Anonymous II 04/21/19(Sun)00:29:50 No.104521401 >Americans don't celebrate Easter because they don't want to hear about someone that recovered for free 88 KB GIF : Anonymous . 04/21/19(Sun)00:32:19 No.104521453 F--- YOU

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Anon strikes again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/04/18(Thu)07:23:02 No.48496147 >be dinner time >barbecuing chicken >touch the chicken breast See ya later virgins 151 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/04/18(Thu)07:23:02 No.48496147 >be dinner time >barbecuing chicken >touch the chicken breast See ya later virgins 151 KB JPG

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Anon has watery eyes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Leaky eye 04/24/21(Sat)12:02:56 No.63361214 >be me >20yo >my eyes water like hell all the time >watch JoJo >Leaky Eye Luka also has watery eyes >mfw I'm a JoJo referance 26 KB JPG
: Anonymous Leaky eye 04/24/21(Sat)12:02:56 No.63361214 >be me >20yo >my eyes water like hell all the time >watch JoJo >Leaky Eye Luka also has watery eyes >mfw I'm a JoJo referance 26 KB JPG

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

O Your best revenge stories, Anon? I'll start Anonymous > be me, in highschool > get bullied by chad all high school > fantasize at night about hurting him back > too much of a wimp to do anything > finally graduate, but still want my revenge > start elaborate revenge plot > parents died, left me nothing but a house > sell the house, gonna need the money for my plan > grow my hair > start taking oestrogen > go to the gym > not enough boobs from the pill, need surgery > finally reaching the hardest part of my plan > byebyedick.png >I have vagina now, Im ready > "accidentally" meet with Chad > make him fall for me > have to take his d--- up my vagina hole, mouth, even ass sometimes > hate it but need to go through with it > not using condoms since I cant have kids, he's fine with it > finally he proposes > go to honeymoon > buy a house for us > I learn to cook for the final part of the plan > finally the day come > time for sweet revenge >I prepare a fancy meal for our 3rd anniversary (Kobe beef steak, expensive af) > intentionally "forget" to use salt > f----- start eating, he suspect nothing > ask him to pass the salt >I pass him the salt > it was actually sugar F----- ruined his steak. Never saw it coming.
O Your best revenge stories, Anon? I'll start Anonymous > be me, in highschool > get bullied by chad all high school > fantasize at night about hurting him back > too much of a wimp to do anything > finally graduate, but still want my revenge > start elaborate revenge plot > parents died, left me nothing but a house > sell the house, gonna need the money for my plan > grow my hair > start taking oestrogen > go to the gym > not enough boobs from the pill, need surgery > finally reaching the hardest part of my plan > byebyedick.png >I have vagina now, Im ready > "accidentally" meet with Chad > make him fall for me > have to take his d--- up my vagina hole, mouth, even ass sometimes > hate it but need to go through with it > not using condoms since I cant have kids, he's fine with it > finally he proposes > go to honeymoon > buy a house for us > I learn to cook for the final part of the plan > finally the day come > time for sweet revenge >I prepare a fancy meal for our 3rd anniversary (Kobe beef steak, expensive af) > intentionally "forget" to use salt > f----- start eating, he suspect nothing > ask him to pass the salt >I pass him the salt > it was actually sugar F----- ruined his steak. Never saw it coming.

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Anon doesn’t like america | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)17:10:48 No.852793960 >be me >be French >decide to go online and watch American news >curious about what has been happening lately 78 KB JPG >add the word "france" to see what International news say about my country >go on conservative news site >site says France is just globohomo and n----- loving commie land >go on leftist news site >site says France is a fascist country that is mean to Muslims and n------ in Africa >realize that Americans project a lot on France
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)17:10:48 No.852793960 >be me >be French >decide to go online and watch American news >curious about what has been happening lately 78 KB JPG >add the word "france" to see what International news say about my country >go on conservative news site >site says France is just globohomo and n----- loving commie land >go on leftist news site >site says France is a fascist country that is mean to Muslims and n------ in Africa >realize that Americans project a lot on France

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Anon did it, racism is no more | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: bk2nW/IH ) O I have been told on this board(...) 04/24/21(Sat)13:12:01 No.318423477 >Jews are white >Turks are white >Spics are white >Arabs are white >Persians are white >Afghans are white >East Asians are white 21 KB JPG >Indians are white >Somalis are white : Anonymous (ID: Q 8KHRMQ ) – 04/24/21(Sat)13:14:34 No.318423669 >>318423477(OP)_# There are only 2 races Indians and non-indians >>318424386 # >>318424490 #
: Anonymous (ID: bk2nW/IH ) O I have been told on this board(...) 04/24/21(Sat)13:12:01 No.318423477 >Jews are white >Turks are white >Spics are white >Arabs are white >Persians are white >Afghans are white >East Asians are white 21 KB JPG >Indians are white >Somalis are white : Anonymous (ID: Q 8KHRMQ ) – 04/24/21(Sat)13:14:34 No.318423669 >>318423477(OP)_# There are only 2 races Indians and non-indians >>318424386 # >>318424490 #

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Anon completes his life’s work | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)22:53:49 No.852813440 >be me >write a funny greentext 6 months ago >post it on Reddit because I'm gay >gets like 35k upvotes >satisfied.jpeg >be browsing Reddit 2 days ago 27 KB JPG >see someone reposted my greentext >only got 12.5k upvotes >almost 50k people saw my greentext and upvoted it in total >be on IG today >see a meme account reposted my greentext >over 75k likes >mfw when I contributed to meme culture >mfw my life has meaning later virgins
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)22:53:49 No.852813440 >be me >write a funny greentext 6 months ago >post it on Reddit because I'm gay >gets like 35k upvotes >satisfied.jpeg >be browsing Reddit 2 days ago 27 KB JPG >see someone reposted my greentext >only got 12.5k upvotes >almost 50k people saw my greentext and upvoted it in total >be on IG today >see a meme account reposted my greentext >over 75k likes >mfw when I contributed to meme culture >mfw my life has meaning later virgins

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This is so deep | /r/Greentext

ar15.jpg 32 KB JPG >be me >cause 37,000 deaths each year >cause an additional 2.35 million injuries >be the cause of nearly 1,600 children under age 15 >cost the US 230.6 billion per year, or an average of $820 per person. >be the greatest annual cause of death of healthy US citizens >be automobile >pic unrelated
ar15.jpg 32 KB JPG >be me >cause 37,000 deaths each year >cause an additional 2.35 million injuries >be the cause of nearly 1,600 children under age 15 >cost the US 230.6 billion per year, or an average of $820 per person. >be the greatest annual cause of death of healthy US citizens >be automobile >pic unrelated

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Anon goes out to eat with a /b/ro | /r/Greentext

File: derp.png (94 KB, 313x228) Anonymous 01/15/15(Thu)12:42:48 No.592816948 >>592817634 Tard thread. I'll start. >be me >be at restaurant with gf >get seated at a table, waiter comes and takes our drink order >get drinks and ready to order food >by this point I fairly certain waiter is a /b/ro (this will come into play later) >while ordering food, family with obvious tard comes in >full wailing about some s--- or another >think nothing of it and continue to order food >order placed, waiter leaves >he comes back our way and stops to take tard's family's order >tard orders a cheeseburger >tard's parents explicitly state no tomato on burger >letsplayagame.png >l call the waiter over >tell him "TIl give you $20 to put put tomato on his burger" ($20 to more than cover any tip he would lose) >waiter is /b/ro, tells me he'll do it for free >l tell him rush their order, and to hold ours (I want no distraction to watch this unfold) >Says sure, runs to kitchen laughing the whole way >10 minutes later tard food arrives >sees tomato, loses his s--- >starts yelling "TURMATO, TURMATO, TURMATO" with all of his might >father tries to quiet the beast >works for a few minutes >l give up watching, thinking I have lost >our food shows up, start eating >just then I hear the cry of one thousand tards >I look over to tard HQ >tard wails "NO TURPATO" and bulldozes the f------ table >s--- flies everywhere >allofmywut.gif >father of the beast corrals tard, takes him out of restaurant >mother pays waiter quickly, appologizes for the mess and leaves >The /b/rowaiter makes direct eye contact with me and smiles >gets other busboyfags to clean up Tardpocolypse >comes to our table with check >we pay, I leave $25 tip for thanks for te lulz >on the way out, the waiter comes over to me >whispers in my ear >"No tomato for the potato" >we both lose our s--- in the middle of the place >to this day my gf still has no idea l engineered Tardpocolypse >mfw
File: derp.png (94 KB, 313x228) Anonymous 01/15/15(Thu)12:42:48 No.592816948 >>592817634 Tard thread. I'll start. >be me >be at restaurant with gf >get seated at a table, waiter comes and takes our drink order >get drinks and ready to order food >by this point I fairly certain waiter is a /b/ro (this will come into play later) >while ordering food, family with obvious tard comes in >full wailing about some s--- or another >think nothing of it and continue to order food >order placed, waiter leaves >he comes back our way and stops to take tard's family's order >tard orders a cheeseburger >tard's parents explicitly state no tomato on burger >letsplayagame.png >l call the waiter over >tell him "TIl give you $20 to put put tomato on his burger" ($20 to more than cover any tip he would lose) >waiter is /b/ro, tells me he'll do it for free >l tell him rush their order, and to hold ours (I want no distraction to watch this unfold) >Says sure, runs to kitchen laughing the whole way >10 minutes later tard food arrives >sees tomato, loses his s--- >starts yelling "TURMATO, TURMATO, TURMATO" with all of his might >father tries to quiet the beast >works for a few minutes >l give up watching, thinking I have lost >our food shows up, start eating >just then I hear the cry of one thousand tards >I look over to tard HQ >tard wails "NO TURPATO" and bulldozes the f------ table >s--- flies everywhere >allofmywut.gif >father of the beast corrals tard, takes him out of restaurant >mother pays waiter quickly, appologizes for the mess and leaves >The /b/rowaiter makes direct eye contact with me and smiles >gets other busboyfags to clean up Tardpocolypse >comes to our table with check >we pay, I leave $25 tip for thanks for te lulz >on the way out, the waiter comes over to me >whispers in my ear >"No tomato for the potato" >we both lose our s--- in the middle of the place >to this day my gf still has no idea l engineered Tardpocolypse >mfw

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Anon has no job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/18(Fri)23:15:58 No.4550017: Mom learned to dab >27 and still at home >No job >No driver's license >Mom does her weekly ritual of coming into my room and telling me I need to find a job >Usually tell her to shut the f--- up 70 KB PNG and leave me alone because it stresses me out and angers me >Try it again this time >She dabs >Ask her what the f--- she's doing >She says I need to find a job within the next three months or l'm out on my own >Start crying >She dabs again >Everytime I ask for something or try to get her to see my side she dabs on me without saying anything
: Anonymous 05/18/18(Fri)23:15:58 No.4550017: Mom learned to dab >27 and still at home >No job >No driver's license >Mom does her weekly ritual of coming into my room and telling me I need to find a job >Usually tell her to shut the f--- up 70 KB PNG and leave me alone because it stresses me out and angers me >Try it again this time >She dabs >Ask her what the f--- she's doing >She says I need to find a job within the next three months or l'm out on my own >Start crying >She dabs again >Everytime I ask for something or try to get her to see my side she dabs on me without saying anything

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Anon gets made fun of | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)17:59:13 No.63349216 >be me >New to fourchan >First green text >Feels goodman! >Nice to be a part of a community 806 KB PNG Hello and thanks in advance for welcoming me! 5 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:00:44 No.63349234 : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:04:34 No.63349276 >>63349216 (OP) # >hahahahah bros look at le greentext on yutub! >hahahaha 4chan funni brou >hahahaha 4chan is grintext >hahahaha me gonna make le epic 15 KB JPG greentext ahahahahaha
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)17:59:13 No.63349216 >be me >New to fourchan >First green text >Feels goodman! >Nice to be a part of a community 806 KB PNG Hello and thanks in advance for welcoming me! 5 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:00:44 No.63349234 : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:04:34 No.63349276 >>63349216 (OP) # >hahahahah bros look at le greentext on yutub! >hahahaha 4chan funni brou >hahahaha 4chan is grintext >hahahaha me gonna make le epic 15 KB JPG greentext ahahahahaha

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Anon should've said "I know" When they told him he's not muted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I really fkin hate online clas(...) 04/21/21(Wed)23:38:12 No.63321482 >be me having online class >after answering some questions i mute myself >be my fkin mouse >random doubleclicks >mute and unmute myself >in discord call with my friends, talking about how s--- the online class is and how s--- the 386 KB PNG teacher is >they go silent >w--.jpg >one of them says i'm not muted >go to online class tab >sees i'm not muted >Oh F---! >awkward silence >teacher did not say anything f--- me anons and f--- my mouse i would've smashed this s--- if i wasn't brok rn
: Anonymous I really fkin hate online clas(...) 04/21/21(Wed)23:38:12 No.63321482 >be me having online class >after answering some questions i mute myself >be my fkin mouse >random doubleclicks >mute and unmute myself >in discord call with my friends, talking about how s--- the online class is and how s--- the 386 KB PNG teacher is >they go silent >w--.jpg >one of them says i'm not muted >go to online class tab >sees i'm not muted >Oh F---! >awkward silence >teacher did not say anything f--- me anons and f--- my mouse i would've smashed this s--- if i wasn't brok rn

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