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Anon likes to vape | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:51:46 No.852796694 >go to work >coworker offers me a vape >smoke it in the bathroom >buzzed as s--- >take biggest s--- of my life >life is good 6 KB PNG >thanks coworker : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:54:01 No.852796859 Nice : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:54:39 No.852796899 >>852796694 (OP) # You just inhaled covid, my dude. R.I.P.
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:51:46 No.852796694 >go to work >coworker offers me a vape >smoke it in the bathroom >buzzed as s--- >take biggest s--- of my life >life is good 6 KB PNG >thanks coworker : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:54:01 No.852796859 Nice : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:54:39 No.852796899 >>852796694 (OP) # You just inhaled covid, my dude. R.I.P.

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Anon is French | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous II 04/21/19(Sun)00:29:50 No.104521401 >Americans don't celebrate Easter because they don't want to hear about someone that recovered for free 88 KB GIF : Anonymous . 04/21/19(Sun)00:32:19 No.104521453 F--- YOU
: Anonymous II 04/21/19(Sun)00:29:50 No.104521401 >Americans don't celebrate Easter because they don't want to hear about someone that recovered for free 88 KB GIF : Anonymous . 04/21/19(Sun)00:32:19 No.104521453 F--- YOU

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Anon strikes again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/04/18(Thu)07:23:02 No.48496147 >be dinner time >barbecuing chicken >touch the chicken breast See ya later virgins 151 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/04/18(Thu)07:23:02 No.48496147 >be dinner time >barbecuing chicken >touch the chicken breast See ya later virgins 151 KB JPG

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Anon has watery eyes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Leaky eye 04/24/21(Sat)12:02:56 No.63361214 >be me >20yo >my eyes water like hell all the time >watch JoJo >Leaky Eye Luka also has watery eyes >mfw I'm a JoJo referance 26 KB JPG
: Anonymous Leaky eye 04/24/21(Sat)12:02:56 No.63361214 >be me >20yo >my eyes water like hell all the time >watch JoJo >Leaky Eye Luka also has watery eyes >mfw I'm a JoJo referance 26 KB JPG

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

O Your best revenge stories, Anon? I'll start Anonymous > be me, in highschool > get bullied by chad all high school > fantasize at night about hurting him back > too much of a wimp to do anything > finally graduate, but still want my revenge > start elaborate revenge plot > parents died, left me nothing but a house > sell the house, gonna need the money for my plan > grow my hair > start taking oestrogen > go to the gym > not enough boobs from the pill, need surgery > finally reaching the hardest part of my plan > byebyedick.png >I have vagina now, Im ready > "accidentally" meet with Chad > make him fall for me > have to take his d--- up my vagina hole, mouth, even ass sometimes > hate it but need to go through with it > not using condoms since I cant have kids, he's fine with it > finally he proposes > go to honeymoon > buy a house for us > I learn to cook for the final part of the plan > finally the day come > time for sweet revenge >I prepare a fancy meal for our 3rd anniversary (Kobe beef steak, expensive af) > intentionally "forget" to use salt > f----- start eating, he suspect nothing > ask him to pass the salt >I pass him the salt > it was actually sugar F----- ruined his steak. Never saw it coming.
O Your best revenge stories, Anon? I'll start Anonymous > be me, in highschool > get bullied by chad all high school > fantasize at night about hurting him back > too much of a wimp to do anything > finally graduate, but still want my revenge > start elaborate revenge plot > parents died, left me nothing but a house > sell the house, gonna need the money for my plan > grow my hair > start taking oestrogen > go to the gym > not enough boobs from the pill, need surgery > finally reaching the hardest part of my plan > byebyedick.png >I have vagina now, Im ready > "accidentally" meet with Chad > make him fall for me > have to take his d--- up my vagina hole, mouth, even ass sometimes > hate it but need to go through with it > not using condoms since I cant have kids, he's fine with it > finally he proposes > go to honeymoon > buy a house for us > I learn to cook for the final part of the plan > finally the day come > time for sweet revenge >I prepare a fancy meal for our 3rd anniversary (Kobe beef steak, expensive af) > intentionally "forget" to use salt > f----- start eating, he suspect nothing > ask him to pass the salt >I pass him the salt > it was actually sugar F----- ruined his steak. Never saw it coming.

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Anon doesn’t like america | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)17:10:48 No.852793960 >be me >be French >decide to go online and watch American news >curious about what has been happening lately 78 KB JPG >add the word "france" to see what International news say about my country >go on conservative news site >site says France is just globohomo and n----- loving commie land >go on leftist news site >site says France is a fascist country that is mean to Muslims and n------ in Africa >realize that Americans project a lot on France
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)17:10:48 No.852793960 >be me >be French >decide to go online and watch American news >curious about what has been happening lately 78 KB JPG >add the word "france" to see what International news say about my country >go on conservative news site >site says France is just globohomo and n----- loving commie land >go on leftist news site >site says France is a fascist country that is mean to Muslims and n------ in Africa >realize that Americans project a lot on France

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Anon did it, racism is no more | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: bk2nW/IH ) O I have been told on this board(...) 04/24/21(Sat)13:12:01 No.318423477 >Jews are white >Turks are white >Spics are white >Arabs are white >Persians are white >Afghans are white >East Asians are white 21 KB JPG >Indians are white >Somalis are white : Anonymous (ID: Q 8KHRMQ ) – 04/24/21(Sat)13:14:34 No.318423669 >>318423477(OP)_# There are only 2 races Indians and non-indians >>318424386 # >>318424490 #
: Anonymous (ID: bk2nW/IH ) O I have been told on this board(...) 04/24/21(Sat)13:12:01 No.318423477 >Jews are white >Turks are white >Spics are white >Arabs are white >Persians are white >Afghans are white >East Asians are white 21 KB JPG >Indians are white >Somalis are white : Anonymous (ID: Q 8KHRMQ ) – 04/24/21(Sat)13:14:34 No.318423669 >>318423477(OP)_# There are only 2 races Indians and non-indians >>318424386 # >>318424490 #

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Anon completes his life’s work | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)22:53:49 No.852813440 >be me >write a funny greentext 6 months ago >post it on Reddit because I'm gay >gets like 35k upvotes >satisfied.jpeg >be browsing Reddit 2 days ago 27 KB JPG >see someone reposted my greentext >only got 12.5k upvotes >almost 50k people saw my greentext and upvoted it in total >be on IG today >see a meme account reposted my greentext >over 75k likes >mfw when I contributed to meme culture >mfw my life has meaning later virgins
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)22:53:49 No.852813440 >be me >write a funny greentext 6 months ago >post it on Reddit because I'm gay >gets like 35k upvotes >satisfied.jpeg >be browsing Reddit 2 days ago 27 KB JPG >see someone reposted my greentext >only got 12.5k upvotes >almost 50k people saw my greentext and upvoted it in total >be on IG today >see a meme account reposted my greentext >over 75k likes >mfw when I contributed to meme culture >mfw my life has meaning later virgins

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This is so deep | /r/Greentext

ar15.jpg 32 KB JPG >be me >cause 37,000 deaths each year >cause an additional 2.35 million injuries >be the cause of nearly 1,600 children under age 15 >cost the US 230.6 billion per year, or an average of $820 per person. >be the greatest annual cause of death of healthy US citizens >be automobile >pic unrelated
ar15.jpg 32 KB JPG >be me >cause 37,000 deaths each year >cause an additional 2.35 million injuries >be the cause of nearly 1,600 children under age 15 >cost the US 230.6 billion per year, or an average of $820 per person. >be the greatest annual cause of death of healthy US citizens >be automobile >pic unrelated

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Anon goes out to eat with a /b/ro | /r/Greentext

File: derp.png (94 KB, 313x228) Anonymous 01/15/15(Thu)12:42:48 No.592816948 >>592817634 Tard thread. I'll start. >be me >be at restaurant with gf >get seated at a table, waiter comes and takes our drink order >get drinks and ready to order food >by this point I fairly certain waiter is a /b/ro (this will come into play later) >while ordering food, family with obvious tard comes in >full wailing about some s--- or another >think nothing of it and continue to order food >order placed, waiter leaves >he comes back our way and stops to take tard's family's order >tard orders a cheeseburger >tard's parents explicitly state no tomato on burger >letsplayagame.png >l call the waiter over >tell him "TIl give you $20 to put put tomato on his burger" ($20 to more than cover any tip he would lose) >waiter is /b/ro, tells me he'll do it for free >l tell him rush their order, and to hold ours (I want no distraction to watch this unfold) >Says sure, runs to kitchen laughing the whole way >10 minutes later tard food arrives >sees tomato, loses his s--- >starts yelling "TURMATO, TURMATO, TURMATO" with all of his might >father tries to quiet the beast >works for a few minutes >l give up watching, thinking I have lost >our food shows up, start eating >just then I hear the cry of one thousand tards >I look over to tard HQ >tard wails "NO TURPATO" and bulldozes the f------ table >s--- flies everywhere >allofmywut.gif >father of the beast corrals tard, takes him out of restaurant >mother pays waiter quickly, appologizes for the mess and leaves >The /b/rowaiter makes direct eye contact with me and smiles >gets other busboyfags to clean up Tardpocolypse >comes to our table with check >we pay, I leave $25 tip for thanks for te lulz >on the way out, the waiter comes over to me >whispers in my ear >"No tomato for the potato" >we both lose our s--- in the middle of the place >to this day my gf still has no idea l engineered Tardpocolypse >mfw
File: derp.png (94 KB, 313x228) Anonymous 01/15/15(Thu)12:42:48 No.592816948 >>592817634 Tard thread. I'll start. >be me >be at restaurant with gf >get seated at a table, waiter comes and takes our drink order >get drinks and ready to order food >by this point I fairly certain waiter is a /b/ro (this will come into play later) >while ordering food, family with obvious tard comes in >full wailing about some s--- or another >think nothing of it and continue to order food >order placed, waiter leaves >he comes back our way and stops to take tard's family's order >tard orders a cheeseburger >tard's parents explicitly state no tomato on burger >letsplayagame.png >l call the waiter over >tell him "TIl give you $20 to put put tomato on his burger" ($20 to more than cover any tip he would lose) >waiter is /b/ro, tells me he'll do it for free >l tell him rush their order, and to hold ours (I want no distraction to watch this unfold) >Says sure, runs to kitchen laughing the whole way >10 minutes later tard food arrives >sees tomato, loses his s--- >starts yelling "TURMATO, TURMATO, TURMATO" with all of his might >father tries to quiet the beast >works for a few minutes >l give up watching, thinking I have lost >our food shows up, start eating >just then I hear the cry of one thousand tards >I look over to tard HQ >tard wails "NO TURPATO" and bulldozes the f------ table >s--- flies everywhere >allofmywut.gif >father of the beast corrals tard, takes him out of restaurant >mother pays waiter quickly, appologizes for the mess and leaves >The /b/rowaiter makes direct eye contact with me and smiles >gets other busboyfags to clean up Tardpocolypse >comes to our table with check >we pay, I leave $25 tip for thanks for te lulz >on the way out, the waiter comes over to me >whispers in my ear >"No tomato for the potato" >we both lose our s--- in the middle of the place >to this day my gf still has no idea l engineered Tardpocolypse >mfw

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Anon has no job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/18(Fri)23:15:58 No.4550017: Mom learned to dab >27 and still at home >No job >No driver's license >Mom does her weekly ritual of coming into my room and telling me I need to find a job >Usually tell her to shut the f--- up 70 KB PNG and leave me alone because it stresses me out and angers me >Try it again this time >She dabs >Ask her what the f--- she's doing >She says I need to find a job within the next three months or l'm out on my own >Start crying >She dabs again >Everytime I ask for something or try to get her to see my side she dabs on me without saying anything
: Anonymous 05/18/18(Fri)23:15:58 No.4550017: Mom learned to dab >27 and still at home >No job >No driver's license >Mom does her weekly ritual of coming into my room and telling me I need to find a job >Usually tell her to shut the f--- up 70 KB PNG and leave me alone because it stresses me out and angers me >Try it again this time >She dabs >Ask her what the f--- she's doing >She says I need to find a job within the next three months or l'm out on my own >Start crying >She dabs again >Everytime I ask for something or try to get her to see my side she dabs on me without saying anything

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Anon gets made fun of | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)17:59:13 No.63349216 >be me >New to fourchan >First green text >Feels goodman! >Nice to be a part of a community 806 KB PNG Hello and thanks in advance for welcoming me! 5 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:00:44 No.63349234 : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:04:34 No.63349276 >>63349216 (OP) # >hahahahah bros look at le greentext on yutub! >hahahaha 4chan funni brou >hahahaha 4chan is grintext >hahahaha me gonna make le epic 15 KB JPG greentext ahahahahaha
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)17:59:13 No.63349216 >be me >New to fourchan >First green text >Feels goodman! >Nice to be a part of a community 806 KB PNG Hello and thanks in advance for welcoming me! 5 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:00:44 No.63349234 : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)18:04:34 No.63349276 >>63349216 (OP) # >hahahahah bros look at le greentext on yutub! >hahahaha 4chan funni brou >hahahaha 4chan is grintext >hahahaha me gonna make le epic 15 KB JPG greentext ahahahahaha

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Anon should've said "I know" When they told him he's not muted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I really fkin hate online clas(...) 04/21/21(Wed)23:38:12 No.63321482 >be me having online class >after answering some questions i mute myself >be my fkin mouse >random doubleclicks >mute and unmute myself >in discord call with my friends, talking about how s--- the online class is and how s--- the 386 KB PNG teacher is >they go silent >w--.jpg >one of them says i'm not muted >go to online class tab >sees i'm not muted >Oh F---! >awkward silence >teacher did not say anything f--- me anons and f--- my mouse i would've smashed this s--- if i wasn't brok rn
: Anonymous I really fkin hate online clas(...) 04/21/21(Wed)23:38:12 No.63321482 >be me having online class >after answering some questions i mute myself >be my fkin mouse >random doubleclicks >mute and unmute myself >in discord call with my friends, talking about how s--- the online class is and how s--- the 386 KB PNG teacher is >they go silent >w--.jpg >one of them says i'm not muted >go to online class tab >sees i'm not muted >Oh F---! >awkward silence >teacher did not say anything f--- me anons and f--- my mouse i would've smashed this s--- if i wasn't brok rn

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Anon meets someone from grindr | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)04:15:08 No.63341349 trolling on grindr is pretty hilarious >go on grindr >find some f----- who is desperate to meet up >make sure we meet up in the dead of night at a park >blow him and let him nut in my mouth >mfw this f----- didnt know he got pleasured by a STRAIGHT guy f------ queers >>63341602 #
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)04:15:08 No.63341349 trolling on grindr is pretty hilarious >go on grindr >find some f----- who is desperate to meet up >make sure we meet up in the dead of night at a park >blow him and let him nut in my mouth >mfw this f----- didnt know he got pleasured by a STRAIGHT guy f------ queers >>63341602 #

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Anons hates tropes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)15:21:36 No.63352748 >character refuses to kill their enemy because that'd mean they're just as evil god i f------ hate this trope, why is it used so much in everything 186 KB PNG 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)15:47:37 No.63353086 >>63352748 (OP) # Bonus: >they killed several "insignificant" people to get to the main villain, and only then do they decide killing is "wrong" and/or >By letting the villain go, they condemn many more people to inevitably die by the villains hands
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)15:21:36 No.63352748 >character refuses to kill their enemy because that'd mean they're just as evil god i f------ hate this trope, why is it used so much in everything 186 KB PNG 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)15:47:37 No.63353086 >>63352748 (OP) # Bonus: >they killed several "insignificant" people to get to the main villain, and only then do they decide killing is "wrong" and/or >By letting the villain go, they condemn many more people to inevitably die by the villains hands

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anon goes to a therapist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)17:49:25 No.63001012 HOW TO DEAL WITH DEPRESSION >go to therapy >therapist says i'll never be happy unless i "get my life together" >get a job >8 hours a day of free exercise STEP ONE.. emageneratoet >use money to order meal kits to eat healthy 10 KB JPG >start taking vitamins >lose some weight >save up enough to move out of my parents >have my own room in a place with decent roommates >still depressed >still have panic attacks >just busy 8 hours a day now
: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)17:49:25 No.63001012 HOW TO DEAL WITH DEPRESSION >go to therapy >therapist says i'll never be happy unless i "get my life together" >get a job >8 hours a day of free exercise STEP ONE.. emageneratoet >use money to order meal kits to eat healthy 10 KB JPG >start taking vitamins >lose some weight >save up enough to move out of my parents >have my own room in a place with decent roommates >still depressed >still have panic attacks >just busy 8 hours a day now

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Anon helps train kids | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/19/19(Thu)13:23:14 No.816571547 please be patient I have autism >be me >amateur MMA fighter >mostly just a hobby, do it to stay in shape etc. >also help train kids at the gym I fight for >teaching 12-13 year old kid how to 77 KB JPG stand and hit pads, simple s--- >kid has high-functioning autism >out of nowhere he looks at me and says "How high does the grass grow in Germany" >Think it's just a weird autist question >"I don't know, probably the same as here" >"About this high" he then proceeds to give a full Nazi salute for 10 seconds >fuckingwotm8 I know you're on this website you little incel, I got yelled at by the gyms owner because he thought I made you do that. F--- you. 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 12/19/19(Thu)13:23:14 No.816571547 please be patient I have autism >be me >amateur MMA fighter >mostly just a hobby, do it to stay in shape etc. >also help train kids at the gym I fight for >teaching 12-13 year old kid how to 77 KB JPG stand and hit pads, simple s--- >kid has high-functioning autism >out of nowhere he looks at me and says "How high does the grass grow in Germany" >Think it's just a weird autist question >"I don't know, probably the same as here" >"About this high" he then proceeds to give a full Nazi salute for 10 seconds >fuckingwotm8 I know you're on this website you little incel, I got yelled at by the gyms owner because he thought I made you do that. F--- you. 2 Replies View Thread

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Chadian Civil War | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/21(Wed)17:04:24 No.60946792 >used to play WoW in high school for 12 hours a day. Raided in hardcore guild, got a couple top 10 world first raid kills over 2 years with the guild. The Loneliest people FART The Loudest 84 KB JPG >never wanted female attention >quit WoW due to work schedule after graduation >picked up lifting >fast forward 3 years and apparently l'm attractive >can't handle female attention >fumble through relationships >last weekend slept with 3 different girls in under 24hours >l never wanted this life >l'd rather be with the guild wiping on a progression night
: Anonymous 04/14/21(Wed)17:04:24 No.60946792 >used to play WoW in high school for 12 hours a day. Raided in hardcore guild, got a couple top 10 world first raid kills over 2 years with the guild. The Loneliest people FART The Loudest 84 KB JPG >never wanted female attention >quit WoW due to work schedule after graduation >picked up lifting >fast forward 3 years and apparently l'm attractive >can't handle female attention >fumble through relationships >last weekend slept with 3 different girls in under 24hours >l never wanted this life >l'd rather be with the guild wiping on a progression night

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Anon had a lucid dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/19(Fri)20:33:26 No.53020109 >had a lucid dream >started off flying was pretty fun >see my aunt randomly >instantly try to r--- her What did I mean by this? 494 KB GIF 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/21/19(Fri)20:52:25 No.53020340 >>53020109 (OP) # I studied psychology for my degree, i think i can help >this means you want to r--- your aunt
: Anonymous 06/21/19(Fri)20:33:26 No.53020109 >had a lucid dream >started off flying was pretty fun >see my aunt randomly >instantly try to r--- her What did I mean by this? 494 KB GIF 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/21/19(Fri)20:52:25 No.53020340 >>53020109 (OP) # I studied psychology for my degree, i think i can help >this means you want to r--- your aunt

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Anon is sarcastic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)00:53:44 No.852792905 >be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and I'm bored as s--- >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol 19 KB JPG >next day I get called into the guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that I'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)00:53:44 No.852792905 >be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and I'm bored as s--- >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol 19 KB JPG >next day I get called into the guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that I'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday

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