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Anon questions God | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)10:05:11 No.63327690 > Women gets fat: they get massive asses and t--- > Men get fat: they only get a beer gut God why 28 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)10:05:11 No.63327690 > Women gets fat: they get massive asses and t--- > Men get fat: they only get a beer gut God why 28 KB JPG

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Looper | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)07:53:36 No.28302667 >be my uncle michael >sensible no-nonsense guy, not easily rattled, religious conservative guy >goes to thailand for holiday >returns after a bit under the weather >decides to book doctor appointment >calls up receptionist to confirm/double check time >"hi michael, confirming your appointment is on x date at x time with doctor x see you soon" >uncle sitting in waiting room early for his appointment >one of the receptionists gets a phone call >"hi michael, confirming your appointment is on x date at x time with doctor x see you soon" >uncle thinks - wait a minute, i just had that f------ conversation >approaches receptionist" >who was that on the phone? >receptionist says she is not at liberty to discuss client identity >uncle tells receptionist his name is michael and his appointment was on at the exact same time with the same doctor >receptionist is confused >agrees to call back number that just called to double check any confusion or double booking >uncle's phone starts ringing what the f--- happened? none of us can make any sense of it
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)07:53:36 No.28302667 >be my uncle michael >sensible no-nonsense guy, not easily rattled, religious conservative guy >goes to thailand for holiday >returns after a bit under the weather >decides to book doctor appointment >calls up receptionist to confirm/double check time >"hi michael, confirming your appointment is on x date at x time with doctor x see you soon" >uncle sitting in waiting room early for his appointment >one of the receptionists gets a phone call >"hi michael, confirming your appointment is on x date at x time with doctor x see you soon" >uncle thinks - wait a minute, i just had that f------ conversation >approaches receptionist" >who was that on the phone? >receptionist says she is not at liberty to discuss client identity >uncle tells receptionist his name is michael and his appointment was on at the exact same time with the same doctor >receptionist is confused >agrees to call back number that just called to double check any confusion or double booking >uncle's phone starts ringing what the f--- happened? none of us can make any sense of it

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Anon is unattractive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)13:14:26 No.63376429 >attracted to beautiful females >not attractive Why bros? 15 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)13:17:18 No.63376449 you are on 4chan retard
: Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)13:14:26 No.63376429 >attracted to beautiful females >not attractive Why bros? 15 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)13:17:18 No.63376449 you are on 4chan retard

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Anon loses their good boy points | /r/Greentext


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Anon feels betrayed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)20:13:42 No.850099251 Immeasurable Disappointment >boring forgettable day so far >get a text from a coworker >kinda greasy sketchy neckbearded dude but not annoying, have made small talk with him before at work 15 KB JPG >"Hey anon wanna come over and smoke" >hell yeah weed time >pull up to the address he gave me >dilapidated trailer by a pond, smells like dog s--- >oh well at least i get to smoke >hesitantly enter trailer >"Hey anon! (small talk)" >honestly just waiting to smoke, decide to bring it up >"You down to smoke?" >"You know it" >mfw he pulls out a pack of cigarettes
: Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)20:13:42 No.850099251 Immeasurable Disappointment >boring forgettable day so far >get a text from a coworker >kinda greasy sketchy neckbearded dude but not annoying, have made small talk with him before at work 15 KB JPG >"Hey anon wanna come over and smoke" >hell yeah weed time >pull up to the address he gave me >dilapidated trailer by a pond, smells like dog s--- >oh well at least i get to smoke >hesitantly enter trailer >"Hey anon! (small talk)" >honestly just waiting to smoke, decide to bring it up >"You down to smoke?" >"You know it" >mfw he pulls out a pack of cigarettes

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Anon is from India | /r/Greentext


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Living in Germany | /r/Greentext

File: divine. jpg (81 KB, 960x639) O Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)20:31:18 No.852855867 >moving to Germany because of dad's job >my dad doesn't speak German, the germans do speak english but they're not fond of him >me and my sister are just immigrant kids among the other ones at school, nobody gives a s--- if you're the son of an engineer from Finland working on a big architecture project, you don't speak german >mom tells me to shut the f--- up and stop complaining about not having friends, I'm not better than anybody else >l don't want to be better than anybody else, I'm just tired of not having friends >one night find dad sitting on the curb with a bottle of vodka, a bunch of turkish men and an english-turkish dictionary >they don't really speak german, but they think it's funny that dad goes back and forth with the dictionary, trying to find words to speak with them >he's learning full sentences, one thing he can say is "this is my son" >his new friends smile and pat me on the back, introduce me to their children >their kids speak english and german, we translate for our dads >end up hanging out with the turkish kids at school >they are less alone, because they have each other >but we bond over our dads not speaking german
File: divine. jpg (81 KB, 960x639) O Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)20:31:18 No.852855867 >moving to Germany because of dad's job >my dad doesn't speak German, the germans do speak english but they're not fond of him >me and my sister are just immigrant kids among the other ones at school, nobody gives a s--- if you're the son of an engineer from Finland working on a big architecture project, you don't speak german >mom tells me to shut the f--- up and stop complaining about not having friends, I'm not better than anybody else >l don't want to be better than anybody else, I'm just tired of not having friends >one night find dad sitting on the curb with a bottle of vodka, a bunch of turkish men and an english-turkish dictionary >they don't really speak german, but they think it's funny that dad goes back and forth with the dictionary, trying to find words to speak with them >he's learning full sentences, one thing he can say is "this is my son" >his new friends smile and pat me on the back, introduce me to their children >their kids speak english and german, we translate for our dads >end up hanging out with the turkish kids at school >they are less alone, because they have each other >but we bond over our dads not speaking german

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Cool pepe guy | /r/Greentext

>be me >cool pepe guy >smoke cigarettes >nicotine buzz >lung cancer >oh yea 50 KB PNG
>be me >cool pepe guy >smoke cigarettes >nicotine buzz >lung cancer >oh yea 50 KB PNG

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Mexican Post | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous A 04/24/21(Sat)23:43:36 No.143739596 >your country >your bodycount 38 KB JPG : Anonymous E 04/24/21(Sat)23:45:42 No.143739705 : Anonymous [] 04/24/21(Sat)23:46:19 No.143739735 what? like number of people you've killed? >>143739869 # >>143739920 # >>143740060 # Anonymous 104/24/21(Sat)23:48:43 No.143739869 ).143739744 >>143739735 # very mexican post
: Anonymous A 04/24/21(Sat)23:43:36 No.143739596 >your country >your bodycount 38 KB JPG : Anonymous E 04/24/21(Sat)23:45:42 No.143739705 : Anonymous [] 04/24/21(Sat)23:46:19 No.143739735 what? like number of people you've killed? >>143739869 # >>143739920 # >>143740060 # Anonymous 104/24/21(Sat)23:48:43 No.143739869 ).143739744 >>143739735 # very mexican post

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Anon grasps the current American climate | /r/Greentext

*O Anonymous (ID: 20VXSBMH) = 04/24/21(Sat)20:17:11 No.318519965 File: angerybirb.jpg (10 KB, 353x294) >>318510123 (OP) >AYO F-- DA POLIZE >WE DON NEED DA POLIZ >something happens >AYO CALL DA POLIZ >Y DA POLIZ NEVER HELP US BLAK FOLKS Every f------ time
*O Anonymous (ID: 20VXSBMH) = 04/24/21(Sat)20:17:11 No.318519965 File: angerybirb.jpg (10 KB, 353x294) >>318510123 (OP) >AYO F-- DA POLIZE >WE DON NEED DA POLIZ >something happens >AYO CALL DA POLIZ >Y DA POLIZ NEVER HELP US BLAK FOLKS Every f------ time

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Anon found his soulmate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)22:01:43 No.790107518 >Be me >26 >Gf a solid 12/10 >We've had sex before >See ya virgins >One day she asks to talk we me 23 KB JPG >Dead Serious >Ohshit.png >I sit down >Tells me she's not who I think she is >Getting queasy now >Starts breaking down and hands me a photo album >Pictures of a young boy >"Is this your brother?" >"No it's me" >MFW my "girlfriend" is my "boyfriend" >MFW I had sex with her countless times and didn't say "No H---"
: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)22:01:43 No.790107518 >Be me >26 >Gf a solid 12/10 >We've had sex before >See ya virgins >One day she asks to talk we me 23 KB JPG >Dead Serious >Ohshit.png >I sit down >Tells me she's not who I think she is >Getting queasy now >Starts breaking down and hands me a photo album >Pictures of a young boy >"Is this your brother?" >"No it's me" >MFW my "girlfriend" is my "boyfriend" >MFW I had sex with her countless times and didn't say "No H---"

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Anon’s therapist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)22:12:13 No.63366501 >be me >15 >mom sent me to therapist because she suspected me of having autism >hate the idea of getting diagnosed 679 KB PNG with autism since i saw them as basically retarded, so i try and act as normal as possible >go to therapist, start talking about history 7 minutes into therapy >she immedietaly comments on my verbosity, and lack of eye contact >she literally has to make me stop talking about history because i was so oblivious to her obvious annoyment >she somehow gets me to slowly confess into basically nearly all aspie traits (including poor motor functions, heavy social issues, stimming) without me even noticing >makes me take an official IQ test >really high Verbal IQ (148), but midwit performance IQ (106), an obvious sign of Asperger's >diagnoses me with asperger's after only a few sessions I cringe thinking about it to this day.
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)22:12:13 No.63366501 >be me >15 >mom sent me to therapist because she suspected me of having autism >hate the idea of getting diagnosed 679 KB PNG with autism since i saw them as basically retarded, so i try and act as normal as possible >go to therapist, start talking about history 7 minutes into therapy >she immedietaly comments on my verbosity, and lack of eye contact >she literally has to make me stop talking about history because i was so oblivious to her obvious annoyment >she somehow gets me to slowly confess into basically nearly all aspie traits (including poor motor functions, heavy social issues, stimming) without me even noticing >makes me take an official IQ test >really high Verbal IQ (148), but midwit performance IQ (106), an obvious sign of Asperger's >diagnoses me with asperger's after only a few sessions I cringe thinking about it to this day.

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Anon tries bang his teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)15:16:03 No.63284052 >be me >in college >taking a pre-req liberal arts course >instructor is a very attractive female >have an upcoming assignment due 62 KB JPG >too busy with my other classes to bother with it >email her asking her for an extension >she says that she doesn't typically offer exceptions for her students but she'll do so this time because i'm cute how would a rational person proceed from here? : Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)15:19:37 No.63284083 A rational person would be grateful for the extension, get his s--- together and then pass that class. An insane robot would try to have sex with her and get kicked out of his university and possibly be arrested. Which one are you, Anon? >>63284198 # >>63284236 #
: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)15:16:03 No.63284052 >be me >in college >taking a pre-req liberal arts course >instructor is a very attractive female >have an upcoming assignment due 62 KB JPG >too busy with my other classes to bother with it >email her asking her for an extension >she says that she doesn't typically offer exceptions for her students but she'll do so this time because i'm cute how would a rational person proceed from here? : Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)15:19:37 No.63284083 A rational person would be grateful for the extension, get his s--- together and then pass that class. An insane robot would try to have sex with her and get kicked out of his university and possibly be arrested. Which one are you, Anon? >>63284198 # >>63284236 #

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Anon has an epiphany | /r/Greentext

>Mfw I realize life is literally like an RPG. >People treat you differently depending on your race/class. >Each race has advantages and disadvantages. >Get XP by learning things through 46 KB JPG books. >lf you commit a crime in a town or city you will spend time in jail/prison. >Tfw only one save.
>Mfw I realize life is literally like an RPG. >People treat you differently depending on your race/class. >Each race has advantages and disadvantages. >Get XP by learning things through 46 KB JPG books. >lf you commit a crime in a town or city you will spend time in jail/prison. >Tfw only one save.

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The Cum Tax | /r/Greentext

The c-- tax Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)11:48:15 No.63366228 >Be me >Set up camera >Masturbate >C-- >Slow down the recording >When I c-- there's a flash of white >That's him >Board up house >Barricade myself bathroom >Prop up phone against roll of toilet paper >Get up some p--- >Sit down on toilet >D--- in one hand, pistol in the other >Start jacking off >Point gun at barricade >About to c-- >Hear him >Barricade crashes open >Fire entire magazine at the doorway >Man in white suit falls down >Still jacking it >Throw gun at the corpse >C-- >C-- hundreds upon hundreds of buckets of c-- >Entire bath is full, still cooming >Pass out >Wake up covered in c-- >In my mouth, ears, eyes, everywhere >Corpse still there >Still dead I've killed the c-- tax collector
The c-- tax Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)11:48:15 No.63366228 >Be me >Set up camera >Masturbate >C-- >Slow down the recording >When I c-- there's a flash of white >That's him >Board up house >Barricade myself bathroom >Prop up phone against roll of toilet paper >Get up some p--- >Sit down on toilet >D--- in one hand, pistol in the other >Start jacking off >Point gun at barricade >About to c-- >Hear him >Barricade crashes open >Fire entire magazine at the doorway >Man in white suit falls down >Still jacking it >Throw gun at the corpse >C-- >C-- hundreds upon hundreds of buckets of c-- >Entire bath is full, still cooming >Pass out >Wake up covered in c-- >In my mouth, ears, eyes, everywhere >Corpse still there >Still dead I've killed the c-- tax collector

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Anon did some magic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/26/16(Mon)12:08:04 No.31679831 >be autist >have nothing to do >decide to cast a magic spell because you gotta try every so often in case you DO have those secret anime powers >read 7 is magic number 13 КВ PNG >make text document called 77777777777777777777777777777777777 777777777.txt >write a bunch of names while chanting b------- >next day neighbor is found dead АМА
: Anonymous 09/26/16(Mon)12:08:04 No.31679831 >be autist >have nothing to do >decide to cast a magic spell because you gotta try every so often in case you DO have those secret anime powers >read 7 is magic number 13 КВ PNG >make text document called 77777777777777777777777777777777777 777777777.txt >write a bunch of names while chanting b------- >next day neighbor is found dead АМА

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Anon talks about a European country | /r/Greentext

File: france flag.jpg (61 KB, 1200x675) Anonymous EE 07/12/17(Wed)18:19:47 No.77108812 >>77111688 >most beautiful language in the world >warm climate >beautiful countryside >historic and picturesque cities >attractive women >the richest artistic and architectural heritage in Europe >best food in Europe >best-dressed people in Europe That's right, it's time for an Italy thread. Pic unrelated
File: france flag.jpg (61 KB, 1200x675) Anonymous EE 07/12/17(Wed)18:19:47 No.77108812 >>77111688 >most beautiful language in the world >warm climate >beautiful countryside >historic and picturesque cities >attractive women >the richest artistic and architectural heritage in Europe >best food in Europe >best-dressed people in Europe That's right, it's time for an Italy thread. Pic unrelated

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Anon thinks women are stupid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)10:38:12 No.852846744 Why are women so stupid? >gf has Maths test on monday >shes basically retarded in regards to maths >like "Whats 1x3, anon?" level of retarded 198 KB JPG >tell her what shes doing wrong >gets mad at me >mfw
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)10:38:12 No.852846744 Why are women so stupid? >gf has Maths test on monday >shes basically retarded in regards to maths >like "Whats 1x3, anon?" level of retarded 198 KB JPG >tell her what shes doing wrong >gets mad at me >mfw

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Anon is embarrassed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 811272664 O min. ago •.. >Be me >22yo >Goes to vote >My country still uses paper votes >They use UV light to check if i already voted >Remembers that last night was P--- game night >Remembers that i took a shower >Hand still glows like a f------ glowstick >The dude looks in shock 45.6 kB JPG >Doesnt say anything just so noone knows he touched my hands full of c-- >Votes anyway >Hopes the guy wont tell anyone
Anonymous | 811272664 O min. ago •.. >Be me >22yo >Goes to vote >My country still uses paper votes >They use UV light to check if i already voted >Remembers that last night was P--- game night >Remembers that i took a shower >Hand still glows like a f------ glowstick >The dude looks in shock 45.6 kB JPG >Doesnt say anything just so noone knows he touched my hands full of c-- >Votes anyway >Hopes the guy wont tell anyone

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Anon did it again guys | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Leddit 04/21/21(Wed)11:41:46 No.63313572 >be me >goes on reddit >there is a troll community where everyone pretends they are leftist radicals >sure l'll post >says s--- like "Punch the nearest nazi" since everyone unironicaly 67 KB JPG says it >gets f----- permabanned Thanks reddit you retarded f------.
: Anonymous Leddit 04/21/21(Wed)11:41:46 No.63313572 >be me >goes on reddit >there is a troll community where everyone pretends they are leftist radicals >sure l'll post >says s--- like "Punch the nearest nazi" since everyone unironicaly 67 KB JPG says it >gets f----- permabanned Thanks reddit you retarded f------.

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