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Anon pitches a new game show | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)20:00:58 No.853026519 >New idea for a gameshow "Who's the Catfish?" >Guy has to spend several days chatting to three different "women" online >Two of them are men 140 KB JPG >Contestant has to get to know all three over the course of a few days and at the end has to decide which one he wants to meet >After he chooses he is sent to a location to meet his pick >lf he picks the girl he gets to go on a date with her >lf he picks a guy he has to suck his d--- >"Haha wrong guess, f-----! Now you have to suck my d---!" Would you watch this?
: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)20:00:58 No.853026519 >New idea for a gameshow "Who's the Catfish?" >Guy has to spend several days chatting to three different "women" online >Two of them are men 140 KB JPG >Contestant has to get to know all three over the course of a few days and at the end has to decide which one he wants to meet >After he chooses he is sent to a location to meet his pick >lf he picks the girl he gets to go on a date with her >lf he picks a guy he has to suck his d--- >"Haha wrong guess, f-----! Now you have to suck my d---!" Would you watch this?

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Anon flirts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)19:02:55 No.852797454 Dumb teen s---? >few years ago maybe 16-17 >bowling with some cousins >see a husky girl with a highschool wrestling sweatshirt >6/10, want to say something but 246 KB JPG retarded >as we leave go up and ask "is that your sweatshirt?" >black dude sitting nearby snorts >kinda laughs and says no it's her boyfriends > say "oh okay" and leave >remember it a day ago >mfw I realize I roasted her ass
: Anonymous 04/23/21(Fri)19:02:55 No.852797454 Dumb teen s---? >few years ago maybe 16-17 >bowling with some cousins >see a husky girl with a highschool wrestling sweatshirt >6/10, want to say something but 246 KB JPG retarded >as we leave go up and ask "is that your sweatshirt?" >black dude sitting nearby snorts >kinda laughs and says no it's her boyfriends > say "oh okay" and leave >remember it a day ago >mfw I realize I roasted her ass

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Anon keeps grinding | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/19(Thu)20:11:48 No.53925486 >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." 82 KB JPG >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends
: Anonymous 08/15/19(Thu)20:11:48 No.53925486 >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." 82 KB JPG >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends

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Anon witnesses the Yakuza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)11:57:36 No.62506129 Anyone got any good stories there parents told them about high school? I'll go first. >mom tells me about this asian kid in her school 243 KB JPG >he was a very quiet and nice kid, never hurt a fly >group of people always bully him >kid never talked or tried to fight back >they continued to bully the kid for weeks >one day they spit gum in his hair >kid gets up and leaves to use bathroom and to make a phone call >fast forward to after school >my mom and her brother are outside talking >kid is getting bullied >van pulls up and kid laughs >group of asian's get out of van >few have baseball bat's >start beating on the guys in the group as the girls scream >few girls try and stop the asians but they get bitch slapped or elbowed in the face >mom says that her and her brother just watched with there jaws dropped >guy bullies lay on floor while girls continue to scream and cry >van drives away with the group of asians >asian kid never got bullied >yakuza 1, bullies 0
: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)11:57:36 No.62506129 Anyone got any good stories there parents told them about high school? I'll go first. >mom tells me about this asian kid in her school 243 KB JPG >he was a very quiet and nice kid, never hurt a fly >group of people always bully him >kid never talked or tried to fight back >they continued to bully the kid for weeks >one day they spit gum in his hair >kid gets up and leaves to use bathroom and to make a phone call >fast forward to after school >my mom and her brother are outside talking >kid is getting bullied >van pulls up and kid laughs >group of asian's get out of van >few have baseball bat's >start beating on the guys in the group as the girls scream >few girls try and stop the asians but they get bitch slapped or elbowed in the face >mom says that her and her brother just watched with there jaws dropped >guy bullies lay on floor while girls continue to scream and cry >van drives away with the group of asians >asian kid never got bullied >yakuza 1, bullies 0

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anon has no true gender | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)02:13:34 No.802999512 >im a girl >go to an all girl catholic school >meet this nice girl >she tells me to go to the bathroom with her >okay > mfw shes making out with me in the bathrooms 80 KB JPG >wait >does this make me gay : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)02:15:07 No.802999638 >>802999512 (OP)# >im a girl 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)02:13:34 No.802999512 >im a girl >go to an all girl catholic school >meet this nice girl >she tells me to go to the bathroom with her >okay > mfw shes making out with me in the bathrooms 80 KB JPG >wait >does this make me gay : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)02:15:07 No.802999638 >>802999512 (OP)# >im a girl 50 KB JPG

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Anon is enlightened | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah

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Anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I iscovered aliens anons 04/26/21(Mon)17:06:41 No.63394591 >be me >learn about rule 34 >if it exists there is p--- of it >look up alien p--- >theres p--- of aliens >mfw i just proved aliens 39 KB JPG exist
: Anonymous I iscovered aliens anons 04/26/21(Mon)17:06:41 No.63394591 >be me >learn about rule 34 >if it exists there is p--- of it >look up alien p--- >theres p--- of aliens >mfw i just proved aliens 39 KB JPG exist

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anon gets back to life | /r/Greentext


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Anon forgets to mute | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)12:38:35 No.63391703 >be me, a college student >join an online class >Professor is late, better watch some YT >LudwigAhgren.mp4 >professor shows up. >whylWasLateAndHowlFixedlt.mp3 >refluxingly say "well done, and?" sarcastically. >Professor answers "thanks dude" sarcastically. >panic.jpeg >panic.mp4 >check my phone, didn't mute >check notifications >30 messages telling me to mute. >Endme.png O Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)12:39:49 No.63391710 File: 5f0.png (266 KB, 521x937) >>63391703 (OP) Chad af op O Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)12:43:10 No.63391737 File: 834.png (191 KB, 680x760) >>63391703 (OP) >Well done, and?
Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)12:38:35 No.63391703 >be me, a college student >join an online class >Professor is late, better watch some YT >LudwigAhgren.mp4 >professor shows up. >whylWasLateAndHowlFixedlt.mp3 >refluxingly say "well done, and?" sarcastically. >Professor answers "thanks dude" sarcastically. >panic.jpeg >panic.mp4 >check my phone, didn't mute >check notifications >30 messages telling me to mute. >Endme.png O Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)12:39:49 No.63391710 File: 5f0.png (266 KB, 521x937) >>63391703 (OP) Chad af op O Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)12:43:10 No.63391737 File: 834.png (191 KB, 680x760) >>63391703 (OP) >Well done, and?

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Anon goes out | /r/Greentext

Anyone here just goes out at night and fights people? My life was boring as f--- and I was depressed so I started going out and just fighting people I started putting on a ski mask and at first it was only homeless people then it evolved to highschool kids and now I'm picking fights with grown men 137 KB JPG I even have a nemesis >beat up the same guy a couple of times >find out where he works >catch him off guard after he gets off work >he's been posting on Facebook about catching me at night and giving me what I deserve >dude drives around at night with a shotgun trying to kill me basically My life is soo much more excited now am I f------ crazy for doing this ?
Anyone here just goes out at night and fights people? My life was boring as f--- and I was depressed so I started going out and just fighting people I started putting on a ski mask and at first it was only homeless people then it evolved to highschool kids and now I'm picking fights with grown men 137 KB JPG I even have a nemesis >beat up the same guy a couple of times >find out where he works >catch him off guard after he gets off work >he's been posting on Facebook about catching me at night and giving me what I deserve >dude drives around at night with a shotgun trying to kill me basically My life is soo much more excited now am I f------ crazy for doing this ?

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anon walks | /r/Greentext

O Marcissus IN9EDLMFSKI 08/11/11(Thu)12:43 No.8767351 File 1313080993 png-(9 KB, 288x350, 1310957042554 png) >walking down street >group of hot girls ahead on sidewalk >oh f--- >aspie overload >cross street to avoid social WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS contact >they notice me crossing >they giggle > f--- this ill just pretend i live at this house >go down random driveway >curtains shuffle >middle aged woman stars at me out the window >turm around fast >3 girls stood staring at me >this is their house >rapidly think of plan B >'have you accepted jesus as your lord and saviour?
O Marcissus IN9EDLMFSKI 08/11/11(Thu)12:43 No.8767351 File 1313080993 png-(9 KB, 288x350, 1310957042554 png) >walking down street >group of hot girls ahead on sidewalk >oh f--- >aspie overload >cross street to avoid social WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS contact >they notice me crossing >they giggle > f--- this ill just pretend i live at this house >go down random driveway >curtains shuffle >middle aged woman stars at me out the window >turm around fast >3 girls stood staring at me >this is their house >rapidly think of plan B >'have you accepted jesus as your lord and saviour?

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anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext


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Anon is pumped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)06:04:05 No.63392325 >have nothing? Good. nothing to lose. >ugly too? Good. can't even lose your looks. >life's s---? Good. Get after it. 35 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)06:29:12 No.63392507 >>63392325 (OP) # >wake up 3 am >10,000 decline pushups with my C--- >10 miles spint >broken ceramic and whiskey for breakfast >3.10 am >scream LETS GET AFTER IT the jocko experience
: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)06:04:05 No.63392325 >have nothing? Good. nothing to lose. >ugly too? Good. can't even lose your looks. >life's s---? Good. Get after it. 35 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)06:29:12 No.63392507 >>63392325 (OP) # >wake up 3 am >10,000 decline pushups with my C--- >10 miles spint >broken ceramic and whiskey for breakfast >3.10 am >scream LETS GET AFTER IT the jocko experience

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Anon goes mad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)13:32:41 No.63392108 >Talking to 2 girls at the same time on tinder >Similar attractiveness >Girl one: how come you've asked me my phone so early? You're creepy 697 KB JPG >Don't ask the second girl her number >Aren't you bored of using this app? I thought you'd ask me for my number but you don't seem interested How can a person not go mad when things like this happen? 7 Replies /1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)13:59:58 No.63392297 >>63392108 (OP) # You f----- up at >on tinder
: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)13:32:41 No.63392108 >Talking to 2 girls at the same time on tinder >Similar attractiveness >Girl one: how come you've asked me my phone so early? You're creepy 697 KB JPG >Don't ask the second girl her number >Aren't you bored of using this app? I thought you'd ask me for my number but you don't seem interested How can a person not go mad when things like this happen? 7 Replies /1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)13:59:58 No.63392297 >>63392108 (OP) # You f----- up at >on tinder

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Anon feels bad | /r/Greentext

2h (4/26 8:27) - 63390654 3 Re · 1 Img · JPG 73KB · (1024 × 1016) 2 Replies NOT FUNNY CRIED >see a picture of me >look like a retard >hear myself talking >sound like an even bigger retard Anyone else?
2h (4/26 8:27) - 63390654 3 Re · 1 Img · JPG 73KB · (1024 × 1016) 2 Replies NOT FUNNY CRIED >see a picture of me >look like a retard >hear myself talking >sound like an even bigger retard Anyone else?

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I’m gonna try this out myself | /r/Greentext

: C58B36A7-7C1F-43CC-88C6-9(...).jpg (146 KB, 640x360) O Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)16:16:43 >Be me >Looking at quotes >"That which hurts makes you grow" >Hmmm interesting quote >Slam my c--- and balls into a car door >They didn't grow ):
: C58B36A7-7C1F-43CC-88C6-9(...).jpg (146 KB, 640x360) O Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)16:16:43 >Be me >Looking at quotes >"That which hurts makes you grow" >Hmmm interesting quote >Slam my c--- and balls into a car door >They didn't grow ):

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Release and repeat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)16:13:31 No.852933234 >>852933392 >>852933392 >>852933392 >>852933392 >>852933392 >>852933392 >>852933392 >be teacher EN >spend all day being annoyed by children >come home >take anger out on their own children >feel better for releasing it этерeat >> Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)16:17:59 No.852933392 852933635>>852933822 >>852933973 >>852934293 >>852933234 (OP) >be op >spend all day being called a f----- >come home >watch gay p--- to release it >repeat
Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)16:13:31 No.852933234 >>852933392 >>852933392 >>852933392 >>852933392 >>852933392 >>852933392 >>852933392 >be teacher EN >spend all day being annoyed by children >come home >take anger out on their own children >feel better for releasing it этерeat >> Anonymous 04/25/21(Sun)16:17:59 No.852933392 852933635>>852933822 >>852933973 >>852934293 >>852933234 (OP) >be op >spend all day being called a f----- >come home >watch gay p--- to release it >repeat

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Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)04:54:53 No.61990417 >>6199046 File: 1610045097614.jpg (50 KB, 750x711) ]>be me, 13 >really want to drive a car >parents wont let me ffw a few months >home alone for the first time in a while >jacking off >idea.png >go out to garage >look at ford focus, blood is pumping, c--- is hard >get in ford focus >hit the garage door button >turn the key >hit the gas VRO0000000OM >not in gear >woops >shift into gear VRRO00- CRASH >hit the house >mfw didnt put it in reverse >mfw did thousands of dollars of damage to family car >mfw
O Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)04:54:53 No.61990417 >>6199046 File: 1610045097614.jpg (50 KB, 750x711) ]>be me, 13 >really want to drive a car >parents wont let me ffw a few months >home alone for the first time in a while >jacking off >idea.png >go out to garage >look at ford focus, blood is pumping, c--- is hard >get in ford focus >hit the garage door button >turn the key >hit the gas VRO0000000OM >not in gear >woops >shift into gear VRRO00- CRASH >hit the house >mfw didnt put it in reverse >mfw did thousands of dollars of damage to family car >mfw

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Anons mom is a jake pauler. | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/02/21 (Sat)19:07:01 No.843817428 >take first shower in 3 weeks >use the good shampoo and body wash >put on best clothes >do my hair >dig out the $150 cologne >going on a date? 9 KB JPG >yes >with a woman? >no >..with a man? >no >with a newly bought fleshlight? >yes! This...this isnt how i pictured my love life in my 20s.
: Anonymous 01/02/21 (Sat)19:07:01 No.843817428 >take first shower in 3 weeks >use the good shampoo and body wash >put on best clothes >do my hair >dig out the $150 cologne >going on a date? 9 KB JPG >yes >with a woman? >no >..with a man? >no >with a newly bought fleshlight? >yes! This...this isnt how i pictured my love life in my 20s.

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