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Anon doesn't know when to hold 'em | /r/Greentext

File: loss.jpg (7 KB, 294x172) Anonymous 01/03/16(Sun)18:48:42 No.661200318 Greentext stories, I'll begin >be me, 16 >lazy saturday at home >sitting at computer >have to fart >not sure if it's poop or gas >roll the dice ADAL >start pushing >watery diarrhea soaks my jeans >wasn't wearing underwear >shuffle to bathroom in shame >change jeans a little while later. >be in my room >butt cheeks start to clench >still not sure if it's s--- or fart >figure there's no way I can lose twice in one day >"hit me" >relax cheeks >immediately s--- myself >absolutely dumbfounded >shuffle back to bathroom, clean up >put on new pair of jeans and still later that day... >standing in my living room >screwing around or something >the same urge comes >clench booty tight >think really hard about my odds >still not wearing underwear >bathroom is literally four feet away >"triple or nothing, baby" >as soon as I push, diarrhea comes out >runs down my pant leg >mfw absolutely devastated I bet on a fart three times and lost every time, all in one day. Seriously, what are the odds?
File: loss.jpg (7 KB, 294x172) Anonymous 01/03/16(Sun)18:48:42 No.661200318 Greentext stories, I'll begin >be me, 16 >lazy saturday at home >sitting at computer >have to fart >not sure if it's poop or gas >roll the dice ADAL >start pushing >watery diarrhea soaks my jeans >wasn't wearing underwear >shuffle to bathroom in shame >change jeans a little while later. >be in my room >butt cheeks start to clench >still not sure if it's s--- or fart >figure there's no way I can lose twice in one day >"hit me" >relax cheeks >immediately s--- myself >absolutely dumbfounded >shuffle back to bathroom, clean up >put on new pair of jeans and still later that day... >standing in my living room >screwing around or something >the same urge comes >clench booty tight >think really hard about my odds >still not wearing underwear >bathroom is literally four feet away >"triple or nothing, baby" >as soon as I push, diarrhea comes out >runs down my pant leg >mfw absolutely devastated I bet on a fart three times and lost every time, all in one day. Seriously, what are the odds?

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Anon is chad now | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/26/18(Mon)22:05:13 No.49510637 JESUS >be me D--- >first year of college >people for some reason are still being as edgy as they were in 10th f------ grade >phones somehow determine social status 1.65 MB PNG >acquire OnePlus 6T over thanksgiving break >phone has Gorilla Glass 6 (this is important later) >chad with XS Max laughs at phone >"Imao he got a f------ android" >mfw benchmark says it outperforms his phone >deliver him the news >chad does not believe >"at least my phone doesn't explode" >mfw a iPhone X exploded from a system update >deliver the news again >"mine has the toughest glass in a smartphone ever" says the chad >bet >have dropped phone face first, no cracks on mine before >"you sure about that buddy" >"haha yeah" >"alright bet" >"bet" >we drop our phones from same height face first onto marble floor >no screen protectors on either btw >my phone lands face first with a "whumpf" >his lands with a breaking sound >pick up phones >my screen has no damage >his screen is completely shattered >mfw made a chad break his phone and got away with it >mfw android is better
: Anonymous 11/26/18(Mon)22:05:13 No.49510637 JESUS >be me D--- >first year of college >people for some reason are still being as edgy as they were in 10th f------ grade >phones somehow determine social status 1.65 MB PNG >acquire OnePlus 6T over thanksgiving break >phone has Gorilla Glass 6 (this is important later) >chad with XS Max laughs at phone >"Imao he got a f------ android" >mfw benchmark says it outperforms his phone >deliver him the news >chad does not believe >"at least my phone doesn't explode" >mfw a iPhone X exploded from a system update >deliver the news again >"mine has the toughest glass in a smartphone ever" says the chad >bet >have dropped phone face first, no cracks on mine before >"you sure about that buddy" >"haha yeah" >"alright bet" >"bet" >we drop our phones from same height face first onto marble floor >no screen protectors on either btw >my phone lands face first with a "whumpf" >his lands with a breaking sound >pick up phones >my screen has no damage >his screen is completely shattered >mfw made a chad break his phone and got away with it >mfw android is better

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Anon is sadist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)22:06:13 No.62513700 >Be me on bus >Middle of winter so bus is heated to 90 degrees >Crammed full of people standing shoulder to shoulder >Feel a tummy grumble >Lean a bit to spread cheeks so no noise escapes >Nice and quiet >Know it's going to be RANK >First pasanger starts to notice and wrinkles her nose >Then 5 >Then 10 >People now gagging trying to get away from the smell >Join in the theatrics but secretly laughing as they all gag on my gas F----- turned that bus into an Auschwitz shower stall
: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)22:06:13 No.62513700 >Be me on bus >Middle of winter so bus is heated to 90 degrees >Crammed full of people standing shoulder to shoulder >Feel a tummy grumble >Lean a bit to spread cheeks so no noise escapes >Nice and quiet >Know it's going to be RANK >First pasanger starts to notice and wrinkles her nose >Then 5 >Then 10 >People now gagging trying to get away from the smell >Join in the theatrics but secretly laughing as they all gag on my gas F----- turned that bus into an Auschwitz shower stall

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Anon needs to lose weight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:57:40 No.737628777 >be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks 61 KB PNG now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today I don't know how to feel : Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight fgt >737630720 #
: Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:57:40 No.737628777 >be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks 61 KB PNG now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today I don't know how to feel : Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight fgt >737630720 #

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Anon doesn't know what to do | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)15:10:49 No.849496971 >be me >32 year old single dad >have 15 year old son >he's a total social outcast, SON...WHY? stays online until 1am after ODO school 42 KB JPG >past few months he's been more feminine than usual >be eating dinner with him one day >"hey son, i've noticed you're behaving more feminine lately. do you something to tell me?" >says "you wouldn't understand" and leaves the table upset >ffw a few weeks later >he's going to meet a friend or something after school >investigationtime.bat >sneak in his room before he arrives >check his discord, all chats are roleplay conversations and servers are named stuff like "femboy hub" or gay s--- like that >check his browser history >amazon page shows up, it's some pink and white stripes high thighs >more amazon pages, this time with various anime women figurines >realize all the packages have been ordered a while ago and are arriving in half an hour, son won't be here in 4 hours wat do
: Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)15:10:49 No.849496971 >be me >32 year old single dad >have 15 year old son >he's a total social outcast, SON...WHY? stays online until 1am after ODO school 42 KB JPG >past few months he's been more feminine than usual >be eating dinner with him one day >"hey son, i've noticed you're behaving more feminine lately. do you something to tell me?" >says "you wouldn't understand" and leaves the table upset >ffw a few weeks later >he's going to meet a friend or something after school >investigationtime.bat >sneak in his room before he arrives >check his discord, all chats are roleplay conversations and servers are named stuff like "femboy hub" or gay s--- like that >check his browser history >amazon page shows up, it's some pink and white stripes high thighs >more amazon pages, this time with various anime women figurines >realize all the packages have been ordered a while ago and are arriving in half an hour, son won't be here in 4 hours wat do

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Anon is no longer sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)08:20:17 No.852447592 >be me >sad about small d--- >buy clone a willy >make my c--- into a dildo >suck my own cockdildo >w--.jpg >this s--- feels huge in my mouth 7 KB JPG >i no longer feel sad about my d--- >i appreciate my c--- now >thanks clone a willy
: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)08:20:17 No.852447592 >be me >sad about small d--- >buy clone a willy >make my c--- into a dildo >suck my own cockdildo >w--.jpg >this s--- feels huge in my mouth 7 KB JPG >i no longer feel sad about my d--- >i appreciate my c--- now >thanks clone a willy

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Anon doesn't need GBP as it isn't invented yet | /r/Greentext

File: CaveBoy.png (76 KB, 207x195) O Anonymous 09/13/20(Sun)13:58:22 No.60027826 >Be me, mamas 275 lb caveboy >No can fit out of cave >Mama hunt for me >She get small bird and boil it with fat and fine grains >She crush small seeds and mix with honey for dip >Also mix water and sour green fruit with honey >No eat anything else >Mama come to cave one day >"Me no eat for half day, tum tum hurt while you away" "Sorry anon, no find small bird. Me find elk instead" 000000000000000000000OGA >Me grab club >"If no small bird for the tum tum, you will be this caveboy's yum yum!" >Bonk mama hard on head >get flint knife and chop mama into pieces >boil in pot >OMNOMNOM.gif >That teach bitch
File: CaveBoy.png (76 KB, 207x195) O Anonymous 09/13/20(Sun)13:58:22 No.60027826 >Be me, mamas 275 lb caveboy >No can fit out of cave >Mama hunt for me >She get small bird and boil it with fat and fine grains >She crush small seeds and mix with honey for dip >Also mix water and sour green fruit with honey >No eat anything else >Mama come to cave one day >"Me no eat for half day, tum tum hurt while you away" "Sorry anon, no find small bird. Me find elk instead" 000000000000000000000OGA >Me grab club >"If no small bird for the tum tum, you will be this caveboy's yum yum!" >Bonk mama hard on head >get flint knife and chop mama into pieces >boil in pot >OMNOMNOM.gif >That teach bitch

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Americans will measure with anything but the metric system | /r/Greentext

04/29/21(Thu)10:12:07 No.63434046 : Anonymous = >tfw no big d--- >d--- is the same length and girth as a wiimote how f----- am l? 50 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)10:20:43 No.63434134 >>63434079 # The wiimote is most certainly not 6.3 inches. 931 KB JPG >>63434154 # >>63434254 # : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)10:22:37 No.63434154 >>63434134 # Oh s---, I thought the wiimote was a lot bigger. You're probably still fine though, like the girth seems pretty good.
04/29/21(Thu)10:12:07 No.63434046 : Anonymous = >tfw no big d--- >d--- is the same length and girth as a wiimote how f----- am l? 50 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)10:20:43 No.63434134 >>63434079 # The wiimote is most certainly not 6.3 inches. 931 KB JPG >>63434154 # >>63434254 # : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)10:22:37 No.63434154 >>63434134 # Oh s---, I thought the wiimote was a lot bigger. You're probably still fine though, like the girth seems pretty good.

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Hold the salami | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)10:10:06 No.16025656 File: 1615107116300.jpg (54 KB, 793x786) >>16025778 >working at subway >l'm up front cleaning off tables >cute coworkers in the back talking >"anon is kind of cute" >"yeah but he's kind of gay or something" >mfw I was interested, I was just really shy
O Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)10:10:06 No.16025656 File: 1615107116300.jpg (54 KB, 793x786) >>16025778 >working at subway >l'm up front cleaning off tables >cute coworkers in the back talking >"anon is kind of cute" >"yeah but he's kind of gay or something" >mfw I was interested, I was just really shy

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Anon is cool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/21(Sun)17:43:08 No.843898968 ZONE cool 1607458244680.jpg 92 KB JPG >going into store >see some rough looking fellas just outside entrance >nervous >walk by and say 'yo' >one says 'sup g? >mfw im a cool guy now Well since im cool now this will be my last time on 4chan, later f---
: Anonymous 01/03/21(Sun)17:43:08 No.843898968 ZONE cool 1607458244680.jpg 92 KB JPG >going into store >see some rough looking fellas just outside entrance >nervous >walk by and say 'yo' >one says 'sup g? >mfw im a cool guy now Well since im cool now this will be my last time on 4chan, later f---

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Anon isn't bright | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)15:04:14 No.63435820 Am I retarded? >be me >Final year in high school >chatting with friends in class >girl who sat beside me gives me her number on a rolled-up piece of 3 KB JPG paper >"oh, neat" shove it into my pocket and forget about it >next semester >teacher lets us sit wherever we want >no friends in class so no one to sit beside, pick back row because I can f--- around without teacher caring/knowing >same girl sits beside me >whatever.mp4 >one day she rests her head on my shoulder >"damn, she must be tired" >just let it happen >be me now, 2 years later >realize she wanted the D : Anonymous 04/29/21 (Thu)15:07:22 No.63435842 >>63435820 (OP) # Yes you are a retard or at the very least, a eunuch f----- : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)15:07:45 No.63435846 >>63435820 (OP) # Jesus Christ. Yes.
: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)15:04:14 No.63435820 Am I retarded? >be me >Final year in high school >chatting with friends in class >girl who sat beside me gives me her number on a rolled-up piece of 3 KB JPG paper >"oh, neat" shove it into my pocket and forget about it >next semester >teacher lets us sit wherever we want >no friends in class so no one to sit beside, pick back row because I can f--- around without teacher caring/knowing >same girl sits beside me >whatever.mp4 >one day she rests her head on my shoulder >"damn, she must be tired" >just let it happen >be me now, 2 years later >realize she wanted the D : Anonymous 04/29/21 (Thu)15:07:22 No.63435842 >>63435820 (OP) # Yes you are a retard or at the very least, a eunuch f----- : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)15:07:45 No.63435846 >>63435820 (OP) # Jesus Christ. Yes.

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anon works at dunkin donuts | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)21:14:20 No.62961471 >Be me >Wagecuck >Work at dunkin donuts >Every morning this a------ drives up in his truck and orders a hot coffee >Makes a big deal about it being fresh and "piping hot" >becomes known around the store for being a pain in the 87 KB PNG ass to serve >one morning it's just me and another coworker >Truck guy pulls up and demands that we make it "fresh and hotter than yesterday" >Coworker makes coffee then he gets an idea >Takes the lid off and immediately dunks his balls in the coffee >Falls to the floor screaming, steaming coffee all over his balls and the floor >manager comes in and takes him to the hospital >Turns out he has second degree burns on his balls >Next day manager takes me aside and says if I tell anybody Dunkin will sue me >Pic related
E Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)21:14:20 No.62961471 >Be me >Wagecuck >Work at dunkin donuts >Every morning this a------ drives up in his truck and orders a hot coffee >Makes a big deal about it being fresh and "piping hot" >becomes known around the store for being a pain in the 87 KB PNG ass to serve >one morning it's just me and another coworker >Truck guy pulls up and demands that we make it "fresh and hotter than yesterday" >Coworker makes coffee then he gets an idea >Takes the lid off and immediately dunks his balls in the coffee >Falls to the floor screaming, steaming coffee all over his balls and the floor >manager comes in and takes him to the hospital >Turns out he has second degree burns on his balls >Next day manager takes me aside and says if I tell anybody Dunkin will sue me >Pic related

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Anon makes some friends at school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/08/17(Wed)11:54:38 No.40973565 >ex-classmate creates a messenger group >adds me and other classmates in it >another classmate asks what this group is for >have the sudden inexplicable urge 29 KB JPG to say >"One word, PARTY!" >decide not to in the last moment >classmate that texts >its for another classmate's mother's funeral >tfw I almost called a burial a party
: Anonymous 11/08/17(Wed)11:54:38 No.40973565 >ex-classmate creates a messenger group >adds me and other classmates in it >another classmate asks what this group is for >have the sudden inexplicable urge 29 KB JPG to say >"One word, PARTY!" >decide not to in the last moment >classmate that texts >its for another classmate's mother's funeral >tfw I almost called a burial a party

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Anon makes a 360 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/19(Fri)20:17:08 No.55791927 DESPAIR >f--- around in high school and college >full on loser between 18-22, couldn't cook, drive, etc, just went to work and skipped classes >eventually realize that staying blackpilled about achieving my BUT ALSO EVERITHING CONSIDERED, A DETERMINEO SOIL WILL ALNAYS MANIGE. 412 KB JPG goals and setting doesn't give me closure or fulfillment >start doing an almost complete 180, buy a used car and get another job, register for classes >started speaking up more often, ignore vague/unimportant criticism from family, bulldoze through minor tasks or practice autistically until I can get them right >started forcing openings in my schedule instead of waiting for them, plan out things to do with old friends and actively try to meet new ones >don't care about failure anymore, would rather go down fighting for success instead of laying around depressed
: Anonymous 12/13/19(Fri)20:17:08 No.55791927 DESPAIR >f--- around in high school and college >full on loser between 18-22, couldn't cook, drive, etc, just went to work and skipped classes >eventually realize that staying blackpilled about achieving my BUT ALSO EVERITHING CONSIDERED, A DETERMINEO SOIL WILL ALNAYS MANIGE. 412 KB JPG goals and setting doesn't give me closure or fulfillment >start doing an almost complete 180, buy a used car and get another job, register for classes >started speaking up more often, ignore vague/unimportant criticism from family, bulldoze through minor tasks or practice autistically until I can get them right >started forcing openings in my schedule instead of waiting for them, plan out things to do with old friends and actively try to meet new ones >don't care about failure anymore, would rather go down fighting for success instead of laying around depressed

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Anon is gonna lose it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)09:25:14 No.63420428 >live a long ass way from my college >don't have a car so I go by bus >takes me nearly 2 hours to get there >get there on time 43 KB JPG >professor needs to see that we did a negative Corona test that morning >f------ forgot mine at home >he f------ sends me away
: Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)09:25:14 No.63420428 >live a long ass way from my college >don't have a car so I go by bus >takes me nearly 2 hours to get there >get there on time 43 KB JPG >professor needs to see that we did a negative Corona test that morning >f------ forgot mine at home >he f------ sends me away

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Anon has schizophrenia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:35:36 No.63438665 >Doctors are starting to think about putting me on injectable meds to treat my >Schizophrenia f--- these n------ and their poison meds 6 KB JPG 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:38:01 No.63438685 >Schizophrenia >poison meds OP I don't know how to tell you... 34 KB JPG >>63438692 #
: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:35:36 No.63438665 >Doctors are starting to think about putting me on injectable meds to treat my >Schizophrenia f--- these n------ and their poison meds 6 KB JPG 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:38:01 No.63438685 >Schizophrenia >poison meds OP I don't know how to tell you... 34 KB JPG >>63438692 #

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Anon fell right into the trap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:05:41 No.63433445 >staring out of my apartment window >see woman trying to open locked gate to the construction site across the street >leave my room and go down there and tell her she's barred 1.24 MB PNG from entering; it's locked >met with complete indifference >turn back and head towards the stairs >just as I'm turning, I get hit in the face and knocked to the ground >get kicked in the ribs several times and stepped on for good measure >manage to wipe the blood off my face and catch a glimpse of who's doing this to me >see an elderly Chinese man with his cane in one hand and service revolver in the other >realize the woman was a ruse to get me out of my apartment >the elderly Chinese man's Triad underlings arrive to surround me and cordon off the exit >forces me at gunpoint to play MAHJONG and defeat them or l'll be banished from the Hua and out into the land of the Yi (our term for barbarians) for eternity : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:07:17 No.63433467 >>63433445 (OP) # Take your meds and get some sleep
: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:05:41 No.63433445 >staring out of my apartment window >see woman trying to open locked gate to the construction site across the street >leave my room and go down there and tell her she's barred 1.24 MB PNG from entering; it's locked >met with complete indifference >turn back and head towards the stairs >just as I'm turning, I get hit in the face and knocked to the ground >get kicked in the ribs several times and stepped on for good measure >manage to wipe the blood off my face and catch a glimpse of who's doing this to me >see an elderly Chinese man with his cane in one hand and service revolver in the other >realize the woman was a ruse to get me out of my apartment >the elderly Chinese man's Triad underlings arrive to surround me and cordon off the exit >forces me at gunpoint to play MAHJONG and defeat them or l'll be banished from the Hua and out into the land of the Yi (our term for barbarians) for eternity : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:07:17 No.63433467 >>63433445 (OP) # Take your meds and get some sleep

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Anon can't go swimming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)21:44:54 No.743795350 T >About 600 gators are now in the flood water in Houston >Apparently HIV-positive blood has leaked into said 51 KB JPG water (from hospitals being flooded n s---) >AFAIK they're warning people not to go in the water because of the GatorAIDS POOL'S CLOSED
: Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)21:44:54 No.743795350 T >About 600 gators are now in the flood water in Houston >Apparently HIV-positive blood has leaked into said 51 KB JPG water (from hospitals being flooded n s---) >AFAIK they're warning people not to go in the water because of the GatorAIDS POOL'S CLOSED

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anon watches the sonic movie | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)07:35:05 No.63437691 v apu in a state of absolut(..).jpg (6 KB, 268x188) google yandex iqdb wait You're not the only one anon >Last valentines day >Me and my friends go to the movies >theater in town only just opened >all they have is the sonic movie >Cashier girl hands me the receipt with a smile >Watch movie. >Fast forward a year and a bit >Cleaning up some trash in my room >she wrote her number on the receipt and I never noticed >Feel like an utter moron >decide to give it a call anyways >number no longer in service
O Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)07:35:05 No.63437691 v apu in a state of absolut(..).jpg (6 KB, 268x188) google yandex iqdb wait You're not the only one anon >Last valentines day >Me and my friends go to the movies >theater in town only just opened >all they have is the sonic movie >Cashier girl hands me the receipt with a smile >Watch movie. >Fast forward a year and a bit >Cleaning up some trash in my room >she wrote her number on the receipt and I never noticed >Feel like an utter moron >decide to give it a call anyways >number no longer in service

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anon’s brother is lazy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)10:01:00 No.853009792 >be me >little brother is a lazy p------------ (more than most of you bastards) >doesn't want to do anything himself >one morning he tells me to make him pancakes >doesn't ask, he's telling me to AGGRAVATED 173 KB JPG >fed up with his b------- >take a massive s--- in the toilet >pull it out >put it in the pancake batter >make sure to chop it up real good so it's not obvious, put in some chocolate chips too >bring pancakes into his room, which has the stench of piss >leave before he starts to eat them >hear a blood curdling scream a few minutes later >run into his room, pretending not to know what's wrong >he's on the floor >pancakes are completely gone >he ate them all >"what's wrong?" >"MY PC CRASHED" >it's been three days and i still don't think he realized what was in those pancakes
: Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)10:01:00 No.853009792 >be me >little brother is a lazy p------------ (more than most of you bastards) >doesn't want to do anything himself >one morning he tells me to make him pancakes >doesn't ask, he's telling me to AGGRAVATED 173 KB JPG >fed up with his b------- >take a massive s--- in the toilet >pull it out >put it in the pancake batter >make sure to chop it up real good so it's not obvious, put in some chocolate chips too >bring pancakes into his room, which has the stench of piss >leave before he starts to eat them >hear a blood curdling scream a few minutes later >run into his room, pretending not to know what's wrong >he's on the floor >pancakes are completely gone >he ate them all >"what's wrong?" >"MY PC CRASHED" >it's been three days and i still don't think he realized what was in those pancakes

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