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Anon has a nosebleed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)22:55:23 No.63477585 >wake up >have a blocked nose >blow my nose, blood comes out >i notice my pillow is also full of blood >this happens every morning for a few days >doctor says im healthy and he doesnt 10 KB JPG know whats causing the nose bleed >install a camera next to my bed >r--- dwarf sneaks into my room and performs nasal sex on me >after r----- my nostrils he proceeds r----- my ears
: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)22:55:23 No.63477585 >wake up >have a blocked nose >blow my nose, blood comes out >i notice my pillow is also full of blood >this happens every morning for a few days >doctor says im healthy and he doesnt 10 KB JPG know whats causing the nose bleed >install a camera next to my bed >r--- dwarf sneaks into my room and performs nasal sex on me >after r----- my nostrils he proceeds r----- my ears

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2 is a conspiracy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Coworkers hate me story 05/02/21(Sun)02:08:33 No.63479592 >be me today >2 weeks into new restaurant job >Two coworkers are polishing glasses with me >They like to talk about anime >Be a coniseur yourself, but never 721 KB PNG mention it >The fat one says to the skinny one, "I'm about 1 season into assassination classroom right now, it's my new show." >Already watched it, so say to him "heh, It's pretty funny right?" >he says "Yeah it's really funny" >Ffw like 30 seconds >Fat one and skinny one are in the corner of the room >Overhear the fat one say "don't bring anime up around him, i don't want him to think he can talk to us" >Tfw never did anything bas to those guys Idk what the f--- happened, im not even fat autist sperg or gross and that's the first and only anime thing I've said on that job All my other coworkers like me, so what's their f------ deal?
Anonymous Coworkers hate me story 05/02/21(Sun)02:08:33 No.63479592 >be me today >2 weeks into new restaurant job >Two coworkers are polishing glasses with me >They like to talk about anime >Be a coniseur yourself, but never 721 KB PNG mention it >The fat one says to the skinny one, "I'm about 1 season into assassination classroom right now, it's my new show." >Already watched it, so say to him "heh, It's pretty funny right?" >he says "Yeah it's really funny" >Ffw like 30 seconds >Fat one and skinny one are in the corner of the room >Overhear the fat one say "don't bring anime up around him, i don't want him to think he can talk to us" >Tfw never did anything bas to those guys Idk what the f--- happened, im not even fat autist sperg or gross and that's the first and only anime thing I've said on that job All my other coworkers like me, so what's their f------ deal?

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Anon is disappointed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)14:18:32 No.853462337 >be me >see all funny greentexts on reddit and s--- >hey 4chan must be pretty funny >go on 4chan >politics and trannies 36 KB JPG Why? 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)14:18:32 No.853462337 >be me >see all funny greentexts on reddit and s--- >hey 4chan must be pretty funny >go on 4chan >politics and trannies 36 KB JPG Why? 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon is miserable | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)15:58:47 No.853458303 > be me, femanon > ugly as f*ck > depressed because of it > eat to find relief > fat.jpeg > hate myself even more > eat to find relief > repeat 121 KB JPG Will I die as a virgin? 10 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)15:58:47 No.853458303 > be me, femanon > ugly as f*ck > depressed because of it > eat to find relief > fat.jpeg > hate myself even more > eat to find relief > repeat 121 KB JPG Will I die as a virgin? 10 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon handles exotic pets | /r/Greentext

File: nn5kj1GRxK1tu78sco1_250.jpg (15 KB, 250x250) O Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)14:51:02 No.853461298 >work with exotic animal rehabilitation >mostly former "pets" that either should never have been kept inside a house, or became problem animals because of mistreatment "This thing is evil, it attacks people for no reason." >he lashes in self-defense because your insecure handling scares him "It keeps destroying everything in my house." >Does he have any chew toys? >meet a girl with green hair, an 8/10 who's clever and funny >she paints props for this local theater, really down to earth despite of literally working in drama "I hate the kind of women who are like 'If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best'. I'm a f------ s--- show at my worst and nobody deserves to deal with that." >been dating for 7 months when I see her first bad episode, she texts me out of the blue saying she's leaving me because I should be with someone better >Go to her place to see if she's at least physically OK. >by the time I get her to calm down she's crying and begging me to take her back as if I was the one who left. >she's back to her own bubbly, wonderful self once she's cried it out, gotten food and thoroughly dicked down >learn to pick up on the warning signs before she does, herself >get her some kind of a nice treat if I notice she hasn't been eating >she's always falling in love with a new project she'll probably give up halfway, if she hasn't done that for a while it's time to take her out to try something new >we've been together for 3 years, she hasn't had an episode for a year, and only relapsed once because of quarantine >l don't think she knows I still check her for cuts, but she hasn't self-harmed in years >recently she got into her head to write a cook book, I told her that's a wonderful idea and gave a few suggestions from the ideas >it probably won't be finished but she's happily typing and humming along to her music >safe environment, appropriate nutrition, secure handling and proper enrichment It's not rocket science.
File: nn5kj1GRxK1tu78sco1_250.jpg (15 KB, 250x250) O Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)14:51:02 No.853461298 >work with exotic animal rehabilitation >mostly former "pets" that either should never have been kept inside a house, or became problem animals because of mistreatment "This thing is evil, it attacks people for no reason." >he lashes in self-defense because your insecure handling scares him "It keeps destroying everything in my house." >Does he have any chew toys? >meet a girl with green hair, an 8/10 who's clever and funny >she paints props for this local theater, really down to earth despite of literally working in drama "I hate the kind of women who are like 'If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best'. I'm a f------ s--- show at my worst and nobody deserves to deal with that." >been dating for 7 months when I see her first bad episode, she texts me out of the blue saying she's leaving me because I should be with someone better >Go to her place to see if she's at least physically OK. >by the time I get her to calm down she's crying and begging me to take her back as if I was the one who left. >she's back to her own bubbly, wonderful self once she's cried it out, gotten food and thoroughly dicked down >learn to pick up on the warning signs before she does, herself >get her some kind of a nice treat if I notice she hasn't been eating >she's always falling in love with a new project she'll probably give up halfway, if she hasn't done that for a while it's time to take her out to try something new >we've been together for 3 years, she hasn't had an episode for a year, and only relapsed once because of quarantine >l don't think she knows I still check her for cuts, but she hasn't self-harmed in years >recently she got into her head to write a cook book, I told her that's a wonderful idea and gave a few suggestions from the ideas >it probably won't be finished but she's happily typing and humming along to her music >safe environment, appropriate nutrition, secure handling and proper enrichment It's not rocket science.

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What seems to be the problem anon? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)13:35:45 No.3777228 >average gorilla penis size: 3 cm >average orangutan penis size: 4cm >average chimpanzee penis size: 8 cm >average human penis size: 16 23 KB JPG cm Why are we so big? : Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)15:15:06 No.3777311 >>3777228 (OP) # >>average human penis size: 16 cm Yeah right. >>3777328 # >>3777506 #
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)13:35:45 No.3777228 >average gorilla penis size: 3 cm >average orangutan penis size: 4cm >average chimpanzee penis size: 8 cm >average human penis size: 16 23 KB JPG cm Why are we so big? : Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)15:15:06 No.3777311 >>3777228 (OP) # >>average human penis size: 16 cm Yeah right. >>3777328 # >>3777506 #

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anon "flirts' with a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)21:38:11 No.61247472 File: 1615514553166.png (282 KB, 522x502) >>61247507 >>61247755 >>61249514 >>61251073 >>61251161 >>61251221 >>61252767 >go to Target to kill some time before my take-out is ready >autistically meander around the store because I don't need to buy anything >see the same chick next to me or behind me about 5 or 6 times >don't think anything of it because I was cutting between the aisles >foodsready.png >time to go >walk out to my car >hear a faint ".hey!" as I'm about to open the door >fuckfuckfuck >it's the girl I saw in Target >FUCKFUCKFUCK >"y-yeah?" >"you walk fast" >"uh ahaha yeah I guess so" >"Do you have a girlfriend?" >FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKWHATDOISAY >"yeah I do" (lie) >".oh well do you live around here?" >"no I'm just visiting my parents" (lie) >"do you have a snapchat or anything like that?" >"no sorry" (lie) >she looks disappointed >"I'm meeting up with some friends so I have to go now" (Ilie) >get in my car and drive away at lightning speed This girl must've been insane to follow me out to my car, but it felt nice. Too bad I'm autistic and only into 2D anime girls.
Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)21:38:11 No.61247472 File: 1615514553166.png (282 KB, 522x502) >>61247507 >>61247755 >>61249514 >>61251073 >>61251161 >>61251221 >>61252767 >go to Target to kill some time before my take-out is ready >autistically meander around the store because I don't need to buy anything >see the same chick next to me or behind me about 5 or 6 times >don't think anything of it because I was cutting between the aisles >foodsready.png >time to go >walk out to my car >hear a faint ".hey!" as I'm about to open the door >fuckfuckfuck >it's the girl I saw in Target >FUCKFUCKFUCK >"y-yeah?" >"you walk fast" >"uh ahaha yeah I guess so" >"Do you have a girlfriend?" >FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKWHATDOISAY >"yeah I do" (lie) >".oh well do you live around here?" >"no I'm just visiting my parents" (lie) >"do you have a snapchat or anything like that?" >"no sorry" (lie) >she looks disappointed >"I'm meeting up with some friends so I have to go now" (Ilie) >get in my car and drive away at lightning speed This girl must've been insane to follow me out to my car, but it felt nice. Too bad I'm autistic and only into 2D anime girls.

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The past we yearn for | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)02:15:31 No.853427144 IMG_20210410_021056.jpg 190 KB JPG >go to /b >Seeing thread about /b and how great it was and how s----- it's now >An other thread is about diy go for a vasectomy >Close 4chan
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)02:15:31 No.853427144 IMG_20210410_021056.jpg 190 KB JPG >go to /b >Seeing thread about /b and how great it was and how s----- it's now >An other thread is about diy go for a vasectomy >Close 4chan

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Lady of the house | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)13:43:10 No.28295776 Not paranormal, but it could have had a bad ending. I've told it before though >Leave house and go to shop at the top of my street >Darkish but it's only about 7pm >See woman walking down street looking at houses >It's my mother's friend >She's only been to our place once and so she's probably looking to see which one is familiar >She looks super spaced out, never known her to take drugs or really even drink >Go up to her to say hello and tell her which one our house is >As soon as I get up to her and open my mouth to talk I realise it isn't my mother's friend at all >She looks really taken aback and puts her hand in her handbag, it's pretty awkward desu and I don't want to get peppersprayed by some crackhead >l just cross over the street towards the shop without saying a word >Come out of shop and round the corner back into street >Can see my house from where I am >See woman in my garden, but she's not just in my garden >She's standing up against the window with her hands cupped around her eyes trying to see in >But the blinds and curtains are closed so you can't see anything >Turn full coward and hide behind a car >Spy on her leaving >Get to my gate and she's near the bottom of the street >Turns around just as I enter and she starts sprinting at me >F--- this >Run into house and lock the door >Mother asks me what's going on but I shush her >Hear garden gate open and footsteps approaching >Wait for knock on door >Nothing happens >At the same time I don't hear her leave >Peep out window and she's nowhere to be seen >Following day go back to shop >All of the papers are by the counter and I'm reading the headlines >See psycho woman's face from last night on front page of local rag >Turned out she'd gone home from work and her husband said he was leaving her >So she just flipped and stabbed him to death >Then she left the house with a knife in her bag and started stabbing any men she came across in "revenge" >Stabbed like 4 or 5 before the police caught up with her
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)13:43:10 No.28295776 Not paranormal, but it could have had a bad ending. I've told it before though >Leave house and go to shop at the top of my street >Darkish but it's only about 7pm >See woman walking down street looking at houses >It's my mother's friend >She's only been to our place once and so she's probably looking to see which one is familiar >She looks super spaced out, never known her to take drugs or really even drink >Go up to her to say hello and tell her which one our house is >As soon as I get up to her and open my mouth to talk I realise it isn't my mother's friend at all >She looks really taken aback and puts her hand in her handbag, it's pretty awkward desu and I don't want to get peppersprayed by some crackhead >l just cross over the street towards the shop without saying a word >Come out of shop and round the corner back into street >Can see my house from where I am >See woman in my garden, but she's not just in my garden >She's standing up against the window with her hands cupped around her eyes trying to see in >But the blinds and curtains are closed so you can't see anything >Turn full coward and hide behind a car >Spy on her leaving >Get to my gate and she's near the bottom of the street >Turns around just as I enter and she starts sprinting at me >F--- this >Run into house and lock the door >Mother asks me what's going on but I shush her >Hear garden gate open and footsteps approaching >Wait for knock on door >Nothing happens >At the same time I don't hear her leave >Peep out window and she's nowhere to be seen >Following day go back to shop >All of the papers are by the counter and I'm reading the headlines >See psycho woman's face from last night on front page of local rag >Turned out she'd gone home from work and her husband said he was leaving her >So she just flipped and stabbed him to death >Then she left the house with a knife in her bag and started stabbing any men she came across in "revenge" >Stabbed like 4 or 5 before the police caught up with her

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Anon gets assimilated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)05:59:04 No.63478267 > You will NOT eat dirt, it's weird and unhealthy 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)06:00:22 No.63478288 >>63478267 (OP)# I WILL eat dirt 212 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)06:01:23 No.63478300 > Stops eating dirt 65 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)05:59:04 No.63478267 > You will NOT eat dirt, it's weird and unhealthy 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)06:00:22 No.63478288 >>63478267 (OP)# I WILL eat dirt 212 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)06:01:23 No.63478300 > Stops eating dirt 65 KB JPG

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Anon realized it‘s over for him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)11:06:14 No.63480886 >mfw I realized that my a------ hairs are longer than the hairs on my scalp 23 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)11:07:17 No.63480898 >>63480886 (OP) # Just measured one, it was 17 cm long
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)11:06:14 No.63480886 >mfw I realized that my a------ hairs are longer than the hairs on my scalp 23 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)11:07:17 No.63480898 >>63480886 (OP) # Just measured one, it was 17 cm long

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Anon and his Chinese classmates | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/17/13(Tue)20:12:14 UTC-6 No.521945124 Reply Replies: >>521949103 >Be me, high school senior >A set of Chinese twins enter my grade in the middle of the year >greatmorechinks.jpeg >It was a boy and a girl: Ving and Ling Chingchongsomethingsomething >Parents must have been smashed on sake to think of those gems >Both are in my trig class >Ving sits next to me, turns out to be pretty cool >He tells me I can cheat off his tests if l do one thing for him >I'm failing trig, I'd sell my soul for his test answers >"Sure, anything." >He asks me how to legally change his name [Autism Intensifies] >He's sick of having a stupid-ass name like Ving >Can't say I blame him >Ask him what he wants his new name to be >"Lee. Like, Bruce Lee." >Soundsgood.jpeg >Ling overhears us from a few rows away >Says that his name has been passed down for generations >His parents would disown him if he changed it >Ving doesn't give a s--- >l offer to drive him to town hall afterschool >Ling insists on tagging along >Shrug, drive them both >Walk into town hall, Ving goes straight to the desk >Demands a form, pulls out birth certificate >shitgotreal.jpeg >Starts scribbling down info on name-change sheet > Suddenly looks conflicted >Tears start welling >Apparently that ancestral s--- runs deep >Tells receptionist he can't do it >She says he'll have to pay a fee to cancel his request >Stupid-ass small-town laws >Ling is just glad he changed his mind, grabs some cash from her purse >ls about to hand it to the receptionist when some dude bursts into the town hall >Short, elderly Asian man, neon shorts, American flag t-shirt and ray-bans >Someone's gone full 'murican >Ving stares at the man, tears dripping down his yellow cheeks >'Dad.?" >Dad runs up and embraces son >Huge smile on his face >'Don't stop, be Lee, Ving >Hold on to that fee, Ling."
Anonymous 12/17/13(Tue)20:12:14 UTC-6 No.521945124 Reply Replies: >>521949103 >Be me, high school senior >A set of Chinese twins enter my grade in the middle of the year >greatmorechinks.jpeg >It was a boy and a girl: Ving and Ling Chingchongsomethingsomething >Parents must have been smashed on sake to think of those gems >Both are in my trig class >Ving sits next to me, turns out to be pretty cool >He tells me I can cheat off his tests if l do one thing for him >I'm failing trig, I'd sell my soul for his test answers >"Sure, anything." >He asks me how to legally change his name [Autism Intensifies] >He's sick of having a stupid-ass name like Ving >Can't say I blame him >Ask him what he wants his new name to be >"Lee. Like, Bruce Lee." >Soundsgood.jpeg >Ling overhears us from a few rows away >Says that his name has been passed down for generations >His parents would disown him if he changed it >Ving doesn't give a s--- >l offer to drive him to town hall afterschool >Ling insists on tagging along >Shrug, drive them both >Walk into town hall, Ving goes straight to the desk >Demands a form, pulls out birth certificate >shitgotreal.jpeg >Starts scribbling down info on name-change sheet > Suddenly looks conflicted >Tears start welling >Apparently that ancestral s--- runs deep >Tells receptionist he can't do it >She says he'll have to pay a fee to cancel his request >Stupid-ass small-town laws >Ling is just glad he changed his mind, grabs some cash from her purse >ls about to hand it to the receptionist when some dude bursts into the town hall >Short, elderly Asian man, neon shorts, American flag t-shirt and ray-bans >Someone's gone full 'murican >Ving stares at the man, tears dripping down his yellow cheeks >'Dad.?" >Dad runs up and embraces son >Huge smile on his face >'Don't stop, be Lee, Ving >Hold on to that fee, Ling."

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Anon can‘t fail | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)06:42:53 No.63478748 >have so much staying power in my grade from completing assignments and doing well on exams throughout the semester that I basically just have to show up to my finals to pass my classes. 261 KB JPG S---'s comfy, bros, pretty f-----' comfy.
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)06:42:53 No.63478748 >have so much staying power in my grade from completing assignments and doing well on exams throughout the semester that I basically just have to show up to my finals to pass my classes. 261 KB JPG S---'s comfy, bros, pretty f-----' comfy.

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Anon invents a new pick-up line | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT : Awkward stuff that happe(...) 05/01/21(Sat)20:10:45 No.63470219 l'll start : In French "good day" / "hello" = bonjour And "good evening" = bonsoir uh cheeAnd lo eet yyou? 3DOHNE >be me 604 KB PNG >walking my dog at around 7pm >cross path with someone else walking their dog >say "bonjoir" Why is my brain not connected properly
: Anonymous ITT : Awkward stuff that happe(...) 05/01/21(Sat)20:10:45 No.63470219 l'll start : In French "good day" / "hello" = bonjour And "good evening" = bonsoir uh cheeAnd lo eet yyou? 3DOHNE >be me 604 KB PNG >walking my dog at around 7pm >cross path with someone else walking their dog >say "bonjoir" Why is my brain not connected properly

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The many faces of 4chan | /r/Greentext

name 1 feel that bothers you right now name 1 feel that bothers you r(...) 05/01/21(Sat)16:13:10 No.63468378 >too sad to j------- 392 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)16:13:53 No.63468386 >>63468378 (OP) # >Obsessed with hating women I don't know why I'm doing this. : Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)17:52:32 No.63469292 >>63468378 (OP)# >procastinating on purpose till i start to panic
name 1 feel that bothers you right now name 1 feel that bothers you r(...) 05/01/21(Sat)16:13:10 No.63468378 >too sad to j------- 392 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)16:13:53 No.63468386 >>63468378 (OP) # >Obsessed with hating women I don't know why I'm doing this. : Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)17:52:32 No.63469292 >>63468378 (OP)# >procastinating on purpose till i start to panic

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Anon have debts to pay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: g3ijlpSo 05/01/21(Sat)02:37:14 No.319437988 >22 years old >Went to college for computer science >Only took like 4 cs courses, rest were (((history))) and (((philosophy))) classes needed for my degree >70k in debt 16 KB JPG >Family abandoned me because of my politics. Won't let me move back in >Unhireable because no one taught me what i needed to get a job >Just interviewed at target for sales floor >Interviewer was a t-----, will be my boss if i get hired >Don't even have money for booze anymore to feel even a little normal What the f--- : Anonymous (ID: (bdhz+tJV 05/01/21(Sat)02:40:01 No.319438359 >>319437988 (OP)_# If you are open to fellating a 52 year old man like me I can help pay off your loans. >>319440108 # >>319442981 # >>319462949 # >>319464163 # >>319470171 # >>319474147 # >>319474495 #
: Anonymous (ID: g3ijlpSo 05/01/21(Sat)02:37:14 No.319437988 >22 years old >Went to college for computer science >Only took like 4 cs courses, rest were (((history))) and (((philosophy))) classes needed for my degree >70k in debt 16 KB JPG >Family abandoned me because of my politics. Won't let me move back in >Unhireable because no one taught me what i needed to get a job >Just interviewed at target for sales floor >Interviewer was a t-----, will be my boss if i get hired >Don't even have money for booze anymore to feel even a little normal What the f--- : Anonymous (ID: (bdhz+tJV 05/01/21(Sat)02:40:01 No.319438359 >>319437988 (OP)_# If you are open to fellating a 52 year old man like me I can help pay off your loans. >>319440108 # >>319442981 # >>319462949 # >>319464163 # >>319470171 # >>319474147 # >>319474495 #

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doritos helped anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)08:05:07 No.853446577 >le me in middle school in 2013 >be antisocial, no friends >lunchroom.mp4 >open up my lunchbag >get a dorito bag with one of those messages on it Doritos y LIFE >this one says "stand up for someone today" 104 KB JPG >ignore message, keep eating like fat f--- >overhear dumbass wannabe chad and his friends making fun of some girl sitting alone >7/10 quiet shy girl in a couple of my classes, don't know her that well >she is drawing in a journal >look up and see him continuing to make fun of girl >does alpha move and takes journal to show off to equally retard friends >remember the message that the doritos bag said >stand up and walk towards them sweating >"hey" >"what" >"can you leave her alone?" >"why, do you like her?" >"no, you're just being a d--- to her right now and you should stop" >"so what? what're you gonna do about it?" >dumb confident f--- is holding the journal while girl looks at me with eyes gesturing me to stop >try to grab journal >chad does a f------ basketball pass to his friend >his friends start passing it around between each other >one of his friends catches it >proceed to football tackle him to the ground taking the journal >try to stand up but f----- pulls down and makes me land face first >ouch.jpg >end up fighting each other for about 3 minutes before teachers get involved and end fight >get suspended >come back to school weeks later >in class >girl talks to me >"thanks for doing that" >look over >"no problem" i say >continue talking about the incident >ask her about what she draws in the journal >she shows me >teacher interrupts us and we talk after class, form a friendship fast forward to now, we are both in college making long distance work and planning to marry can't imagine what would have happened without that doritos bag giving me advice thanks doritos bag
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)08:05:07 No.853446577 >le me in middle school in 2013 >be antisocial, no friends >lunchroom.mp4 >open up my lunchbag >get a dorito bag with one of those messages on it Doritos y LIFE >this one says "stand up for someone today" 104 KB JPG >ignore message, keep eating like fat f--- >overhear dumbass wannabe chad and his friends making fun of some girl sitting alone >7/10 quiet shy girl in a couple of my classes, don't know her that well >she is drawing in a journal >look up and see him continuing to make fun of girl >does alpha move and takes journal to show off to equally retard friends >remember the message that the doritos bag said >stand up and walk towards them sweating >"hey" >"what" >"can you leave her alone?" >"why, do you like her?" >"no, you're just being a d--- to her right now and you should stop" >"so what? what're you gonna do about it?" >dumb confident f--- is holding the journal while girl looks at me with eyes gesturing me to stop >try to grab journal >chad does a f------ basketball pass to his friend >his friends start passing it around between each other >one of his friends catches it >proceed to football tackle him to the ground taking the journal >try to stand up but f----- pulls down and makes me land face first >ouch.jpg >end up fighting each other for about 3 minutes before teachers get involved and end fight >get suspended >come back to school weeks later >in class >girl talks to me >"thanks for doing that" >look over >"no problem" i say >continue talking about the incident >ask her about what she draws in the journal >she shows me >teacher interrupts us and we talk after class, form a friendship fast forward to now, we are both in college making long distance work and planning to marry can't imagine what would have happened without that doritos bag giving me advice thanks doritos bag

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Anon hates fruit tribe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)06:52:53 No.46719974 >>46719859 # >fruit tribe laughs at meat tribe >says meat tribe breath stop early >ice age come >no fruit left >guess who laugh now
: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)06:52:53 No.46719974 >>46719859 # >fruit tribe laughs at meat tribe >says meat tribe breath stop early >ice age come >no fruit left >guess who laugh now

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Anon wants pictures of Spider-Man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)08:39:41 No.122737548 Slander is spoken, libel is printed.png 473 KB PNG >PARKER! When I say I want pictures of Spider-man, I mean Spider-man. Not the Asian female knockoff, not old hag in the red jumpsuit, not the cartoon pig, not the one in the hoodie, and certainly not black one! PICTURES. OF. SPIDER. HYPHEN. MAN. ÔNCE THE DOCTORS MANAGE TO PRY YOUR CAMERA OUT OF YOUR LOWER INTESTINES, I EXPECT THOSE PHOTOS TO BE ON MY DESK BY SUNDOWN, NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)08:39:41 No.122737548 Slander is spoken, libel is printed.png 473 KB PNG >PARKER! When I say I want pictures of Spider-man, I mean Spider-man. Not the Asian female knockoff, not old hag in the red jumpsuit, not the cartoon pig, not the one in the hoodie, and certainly not black one! PICTURES. OF. SPIDER. HYPHEN. MAN. ÔNCE THE DOCTORS MANAGE TO PRY YOUR CAMERA OUT OF YOUR LOWER INTESTINES, I EXPECT THOSE PHOTOS TO BE ON MY DESK BY SUNDOWN, NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!

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Why must you hurt me this way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)12:47:59 No.63450322 >You will never have a teenage romance >You never had the shy awkward fırst date where you're both sweating buckets >You will never make a big deal out of holding hands or kissing >You will never go with her to the 137 KB JPG school dance Every moment of youth that slips away leaves so many more wonderful feelings unfulfilled. : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)12:50:06 No.63450335 >>63450322 (OP) # Don't remind me, OP. 211 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)12:47:59 No.63450322 >You will never have a teenage romance >You never had the shy awkward fırst date where you're both sweating buckets >You will never make a big deal out of holding hands or kissing >You will never go with her to the 137 KB JPG school dance Every moment of youth that slips away leaves so many more wonderful feelings unfulfilled. : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)12:50:06 No.63450335 >>63450322 (OP) # Don't remind me, OP. 211 KB JPG

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