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Anon has big brain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)05:50:16 No.63555289 >>63555248 # >paying for p--- >meanwhile I google "hairy guy big c---" and get 12 million results >>63555408 #
: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)05:50:16 No.63555289 >>63555248 # >paying for p--- >meanwhile I google "hairy guy big c---" and get 12 million results >>63555408 #

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Anon can only dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)12:27:41 No.63564667 1614387637337.jpg 157 KB JPG >It's raining >It's comfy I like it 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)12:47:59 No.63564941 >>63564667 (OP) # I wish I was him. Older and fatter, yes, but look at him. He does not give a f---. He sits there comfortably, looking at the camera. He f-----, he is probably married, has kids and a job. He has everything and does not need to care anymore He just enjoys himself. Men like these are the happies. Not smart, but happy. 110 KB JPG Normie cattle, but not caring. I wish. >>63565297 # : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)13:12:16 No.63565297 >>63564941 # he's a toad sage you rookie
: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)12:27:41 No.63564667 1614387637337.jpg 157 KB JPG >It's raining >It's comfy I like it 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)12:47:59 No.63564941 >>63564667 (OP) # I wish I was him. Older and fatter, yes, but look at him. He does not give a f---. He sits there comfortably, looking at the camera. He f-----, he is probably married, has kids and a job. He has everything and does not need to care anymore He just enjoys himself. Men like these are the happies. Not smart, but happy. 110 KB JPG Normie cattle, but not caring. I wish. >>63565297 # : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)13:12:16 No.63565297 >>63564941 # he's a toad sage you rookie

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Anon should've swerved to the right | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)13:13:54 No.63036698 >between 40 million and 1.2 billion E sperm cells in a single e---------- >i'm the one who got there first f------ so sorry dad. shoulda just veered left 43 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)13:13:54 No.63036698 >between 40 million and 1.2 billion E sperm cells in a single e---------- >i'm the one who got there first f------ so sorry dad. shoulda just veered left 43 KB JPG

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Anon misses his poop corner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous what shamefull things did you (...) 05/04/21(Tue)20:06:14 No.63516500 >be me >kindergaten age >spend lot of time at grandma's, countryside >huge yard, lots of space to play around >need to poop >dont really feel like going all the 9 KB PNG way back to the house and poop in toilet >go to nearby garage >pick a corner >poop >do this everyday for one summer i miss my poop corner, things were a lot better when i used to poop in the garage. what shameful/autistic things did you do when you were little anons?
: Anonymous what shamefull things did you (...) 05/04/21(Tue)20:06:14 No.63516500 >be me >kindergaten age >spend lot of time at grandma's, countryside >huge yard, lots of space to play around >need to poop >dont really feel like going all the 9 KB PNG way back to the house and poop in toilet >go to nearby garage >pick a corner >poop >do this everyday for one summer i miss my poop corner, things were a lot better when i used to poop in the garage. what shameful/autistic things did you do when you were little anons?

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Anon made a joke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)00:53:44 No.852792905 >be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and l'm bored as s--- >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol >next day I get called into the 19 KB JPG guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that I'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)00:53:44 No.852792905 >be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and l'm bored as s--- >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol >next day I get called into the 19 KB JPG guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that I'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday

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Anon refuses | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:50:38 No.853898939 >be me >Older ugly anon, work for ad agency >new client comes in, young blonde cutie >newly hired trying to impress her company, a new alcoholic beverage CUTWATER MANGO MARGARIT 630 KB JPG company >goes over her desired strategy >realize she has half the budget required >tell her there's no possible way to do it within her price range >"well anon... isn't there anything you can do?" while she unbuttons her blouse >refuse, because I have strong moral fiber >as strong as Cutwater Mango Margarita, a refreshing new beverage from Cutwater Alcoholic Beverages
: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:50:38 No.853898939 >be me >Older ugly anon, work for ad agency >new client comes in, young blonde cutie >newly hired trying to impress her company, a new alcoholic beverage CUTWATER MANGO MARGARIT 630 KB JPG company >goes over her desired strategy >realize she has half the budget required >tell her there's no possible way to do it within her price range >"well anon... isn't there anything you can do?" while she unbuttons her blouse >refuse, because I have strong moral fiber >as strong as Cutwater Mango Margarita, a refreshing new beverage from Cutwater Alcoholic Beverages

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Anon gets paired up with a Stacey | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)07:00:44 No.63047567 >first year of high school >typical nerdy ugly kid >english teacher putting us in pairs for a debate project >get paired with one of the popular girls >she starts complaining instantly 58 KB JPG but it falls on deaf ears >try being amicable >acts like a complete bitch towards me >turns around to complain to one of her friends while i'm sitting right there >refuses to do any work/research aside from being the captain of the debate >end up having to do everything why are normies so mean just because you're ugly?
: Anonymous 04/04/21(Sun)07:00:44 No.63047567 >first year of high school >typical nerdy ugly kid >english teacher putting us in pairs for a debate project >get paired with one of the popular girls >she starts complaining instantly 58 KB JPG but it falls on deaf ears >try being amicable >acts like a complete bitch towards me >turns around to complain to one of her friends while i'm sitting right there >refuses to do any work/research aside from being the captain of the debate >end up having to do everything why are normies so mean just because you're ugly?

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This one is an old masterpiece. | /r/Greentext

1 Lhu50KIG # 124029364 2 04.05 08:21:02 JPEG 700x762 151 KB Is using an exploit in a video game to crash servers illegal in America? Is it illegal to crash a video game's server using nothing but in- game mechanics? I found an exploit in a Steam survival game that can crash the server for about 5-10 minutes, booting everyone off the server. It uses nothing but in-game mechanics to do. Is it considered a DoS attack? Or, since I'm just "playing the game" would it hold up in court? 6 M* BAC927FZ #124030682 04.05 08:36:59 >>124029364 OP >Knock on door >"GO AWAY IM BUSY" >Door opens, anon's parents take a timid step into the room. >Pissjugs fill most of the available floorspace >'Anon, what.. What are you doing?" >Camera pans to anon, who sits crosslegged and hunched over a small dusty monitor, fat rolls flowing freely to reveal a completely naked figure except for some ripped, stained Y- fronts. >'I just found a small indie game on Steam where I can exploit an ingame mechanic to crash the servers *snortlaugh**shart* I'm basically a hacker, you know." >A pale, chunky hand reaches into an industrial-sized bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos. Some sounds, akin to that of a hungry hippopotamus devouring a small mammal, follow. The creature wipes the crumbs on its pallid body. >"0-okay, anon. We'll leave you to it." >The mother wipes away a single tear as she backs out the room. The father gives a single glare, a mix of regret, shame and stoic acceptance, before following suit and gently closing over the door. >A single balloon reading "Happy 30th birthday, son!" hovers for several days in the doorway unnoticed, until the helium leaks out of it and it slumps, almost wearily, to the floor.
1 Lhu50KIG # 124029364 2 04.05 08:21:02 JPEG 700x762 151 KB Is using an exploit in a video game to crash servers illegal in America? Is it illegal to crash a video game's server using nothing but in- game mechanics? I found an exploit in a Steam survival game that can crash the server for about 5-10 minutes, booting everyone off the server. It uses nothing but in-game mechanics to do. Is it considered a DoS attack? Or, since I'm just "playing the game" would it hold up in court? 6 M* BAC927FZ #124030682 04.05 08:36:59 >>124029364 OP >Knock on door >"GO AWAY IM BUSY" >Door opens, anon's parents take a timid step into the room. >Pissjugs fill most of the available floorspace >'Anon, what.. What are you doing?" >Camera pans to anon, who sits crosslegged and hunched over a small dusty monitor, fat rolls flowing freely to reveal a completely naked figure except for some ripped, stained Y- fronts. >'I just found a small indie game on Steam where I can exploit an ingame mechanic to crash the servers *snortlaugh**shart* I'm basically a hacker, you know." >A pale, chunky hand reaches into an industrial-sized bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos. Some sounds, akin to that of a hungry hippopotamus devouring a small mammal, follow. The creature wipes the crumbs on its pallid body. >"0-okay, anon. We'll leave you to it." >The mother wipes away a single tear as she backs out the room. The father gives a single glare, a mix of regret, shame and stoic acceptance, before following suit and gently closing over the door. >A single balloon reading "Happy 30th birthday, son!" hovers for several days in the doorway unnoticed, until the helium leaks out of it and it slumps, almost wearily, to the floor.

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Anon starts world war 1 | /r/Greentext

IDS HABIDDING >be Serbian >buy a gun >notice some f----- riding around in his car with the TR NIRI 307 KB JPG top down >he has the gayest mustache i've ever seen >empty mag of .32 into the f------ degenerate >Austrians are p----- for some reason >every nation in Europe is gearing up for war >just because i shot some h--- >millions of people die
IDS HABIDDING >be Serbian >buy a gun >notice some f----- riding around in his car with the TR NIRI 307 KB JPG top down >he has the gayest mustache i've ever seen >empty mag of .32 into the f------ degenerate >Austrians are p----- for some reason >every nation in Europe is gearing up for war >just because i shot some h--- >millions of people die

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Anon becomes a discord mod | /r/Greentext

nonymous 12/15/20(Tue)04:56:18 No.84237579 >get mod on a discord server with over 1000 members >instantly gain 300 pounds >mfw 9 KB JPG
nonymous 12/15/20(Tue)04:56:18 No.84237579 >get mod on a discord server with over 1000 members >instantly gain 300 pounds >mfw 9 KB JPG

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Anon has been redpilled. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)15:48:41 No.853884641 86C5E00A-23BC-4CC4-B2DE-C734ECFD00CE.png 358 KB PNG >THINK ANON! AFTER WASTING YEARS POSTING ON 4CHAN WHAT WILL YOU BE LEFT WITH!?
: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)15:48:41 No.853884641 86C5E00A-23BC-4CC4-B2DE-C734ECFD00CE.png 358 KB PNG >THINK ANON! AFTER WASTING YEARS POSTING ON 4CHAN WHAT WILL YOU BE LEFT WITH!?

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Anon mocks pc players | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/06/21(Thu)19:47:28 No.554623690 >4k with ray tracing enabled > NO0O IT DROPS A FEW FRAMES UNPLAYABLE shut the f--- up 201 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/06/21(Thu)19:47:28 No.554623690 >4k with ray tracing enabled > NO0O IT DROPS A FEW FRAMES UNPLAYABLE shut the f--- up 201 KB PNG

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Anon gets leaked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:38:10 No.63572031 >massive 4chan data leak happens >IPs for every post are leaked >they can now all be traced back to you What do in this situation? 21 KB JPG 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:46:14 No.63572130 >yeah i made all those racist, sexist, antisemetic, gay shitposts. What are you going to do about it? Cry? 229 KB PNG >>63572211 # : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:47:01 No.63572143 : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:50:54 No.63572193 : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:52:37 No.63572211 >>63572130 # >No, you're just going to lose your job. >Also, you can't be within 300 meters of a school. >>63572234 # : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:54:23 No.63572234 >>63572211 # >Lose my what? >Why would i want to go to a school?
: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:38:10 No.63572031 >massive 4chan data leak happens >IPs for every post are leaked >they can now all be traced back to you What do in this situation? 21 KB JPG 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:46:14 No.63572130 >yeah i made all those racist, sexist, antisemetic, gay shitposts. What are you going to do about it? Cry? 229 KB PNG >>63572211 # : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:47:01 No.63572143 : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:50:54 No.63572193 : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:52:37 No.63572211 >>63572130 # >No, you're just going to lose your job. >Also, you can't be within 300 meters of a school. >>63572234 # : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:54:23 No.63572234 >>63572211 # >Lose my what? >Why would i want to go to a school?

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Anon is on autopilot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27721(Tue)02:02:40 Nó.61176759 >>61173933 (OP) # F--- I can actually relate to this >first month in gym >getting used to talking with people, gym lingo, not being intimidated by people using the weights etc 30 KB JPG >need to take a mad s--- >go to the bathroom, all the stalls are occupied >brain is on full autopilot >knock and ask the guy "how many sets do you have left in there" >realize what I just said >hear the guy inside say what the f--- man >all others laughing >run out and don't come back for a few days >realize no one found out It still keeps me up at night bros >>61176799 # >>61176803 # >>61176818 # >>61176835 # >>61176906 # >>61177071 # >>61177082 # >>61177707 # >>61178136 # >>61178305 #
: Anonymous 04/27721(Tue)02:02:40 Nó.61176759 >>61173933 (OP) # F--- I can actually relate to this >first month in gym >getting used to talking with people, gym lingo, not being intimidated by people using the weights etc 30 KB JPG >need to take a mad s--- >go to the bathroom, all the stalls are occupied >brain is on full autopilot >knock and ask the guy "how many sets do you have left in there" >realize what I just said >hear the guy inside say what the f--- man >all others laughing >run out and don't come back for a few days >realize no one found out It still keeps me up at night bros >>61176799 # >>61176803 # >>61176818 # >>61176835 # >>61176906 # >>61177071 # >>61177082 # >>61177707 # >>61178136 # >>61178305 #

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Anon was high | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.643622648 1 hour ago High stories? >Be me, 17 >Going on a boat ride with my 2 bros >High as f--- off brownies >Sitting in some aluminum cheap ass chairs waiting >Taking it all in >Suddenly realize there's something between my thighs >Oh f--- I shat myself >Pretty f------ disappointed in myself >How the f--- did this happen >Walk to the bathroom awkwardly so the s--- nugget doesn't fall out of my shorts >Bathroom is near the booth to get the tickets >Huge crowd >F--- man I'm too high for this. >Have to pass through people whilst also trying to keep my legs closed. >For a high person this is very frustrating >Get in bathroom >mfw it was just my balls >mfw I spent 20 mins getting to the bathroom >mfw I have no face
Anonymous No.643622648 1 hour ago High stories? >Be me, 17 >Going on a boat ride with my 2 bros >High as f--- off brownies >Sitting in some aluminum cheap ass chairs waiting >Taking it all in >Suddenly realize there's something between my thighs >Oh f--- I shat myself >Pretty f------ disappointed in myself >How the f--- did this happen >Walk to the bathroom awkwardly so the s--- nugget doesn't fall out of my shorts >Bathroom is near the booth to get the tickets >Huge crowd >F--- man I'm too high for this. >Have to pass through people whilst also trying to keep my legs closed. >For a high person this is very frustrating >Get in bathroom >mfw it was just my balls >mfw I spent 20 mins getting to the bathroom >mfw I have no face

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Anon joins the military. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)16:21:07 No.853879669 >Be me. >Join the Army at 18 to move away from home and become my own man. Decide to go Infantry to kick in doors and kill. Badass s---. >Make friends unlike any others. Bonding like you would never bond with anyone 9 KB JPG anywhere else. Going through s--- that most can't even image, dangers that most only see in the movies. A lifelong bond. >Get deployed to Iraq right after invasion. >Lose several friends in the deployment, hits where it hurts something deep. >Lose several more friends the next deployment. Even my own 1SG shooting himself in the head right in front of us because we are losing so many. >Things are getting out of hand. >Friends are leaving, getting stationed elsewhere, getting out. Haven't made many friends after. >Met a cool SGT in my next unit, same rank and interests as me. He lives right next door to me. Invite him over to meet wife and kids and play MTG. He begins teaching me to play guitar. Get real close. He's a mechanic, so small chance he can die. >Deploy to Afghanistan. >Guy dies trying to recover a stuck vehicle in the beginning of the deployment. >FF to today. 40 years old disabled vet with bad leg and back, PTSD, TBI. >Feeling kind of lonely, have nothing in common with anyone around me, nothing to talk about. >Wife's friends think I'm weird because my humor is dark. Humor had to be dark because you learn to laugh at it or be consumed. >Talk with VA who say I need social structures outside of family like spots, which I hurt too much to play, church, with the things l've seen there can't possibly be a “loving" god, or with other vets. >Meet other vets but hate them mostly. Can't say why. Don't know what to do. >Beginning to think that l'll never have any friends. Too scared to. Every friend of mine is dead by war or by suicide. Is this why people thank me for my service?
: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)16:21:07 No.853879669 >Be me. >Join the Army at 18 to move away from home and become my own man. Decide to go Infantry to kick in doors and kill. Badass s---. >Make friends unlike any others. Bonding like you would never bond with anyone 9 KB JPG anywhere else. Going through s--- that most can't even image, dangers that most only see in the movies. A lifelong bond. >Get deployed to Iraq right after invasion. >Lose several friends in the deployment, hits where it hurts something deep. >Lose several more friends the next deployment. Even my own 1SG shooting himself in the head right in front of us because we are losing so many. >Things are getting out of hand. >Friends are leaving, getting stationed elsewhere, getting out. Haven't made many friends after. >Met a cool SGT in my next unit, same rank and interests as me. He lives right next door to me. Invite him over to meet wife and kids and play MTG. He begins teaching me to play guitar. Get real close. He's a mechanic, so small chance he can die. >Deploy to Afghanistan. >Guy dies trying to recover a stuck vehicle in the beginning of the deployment. >FF to today. 40 years old disabled vet with bad leg and back, PTSD, TBI. >Feeling kind of lonely, have nothing in common with anyone around me, nothing to talk about. >Wife's friends think I'm weird because my humor is dark. Humor had to be dark because you learn to laugh at it or be consumed. >Talk with VA who say I need social structures outside of family like spots, which I hurt too much to play, church, with the things l've seen there can't possibly be a “loving" god, or with other vets. >Meet other vets but hate them mostly. Can't say why. Don't know what to do. >Beginning to think that l'll never have any friends. Too scared to. Every friend of mine is dead by war or by suicide. Is this why people thank me for my service?

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anon got a critical hit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)19:43:23 No.554686786 File: 1617048593725.jpg (6 KB, 236x285) >vending machine stole a dollar >smack the machine on the side >critical hit >all the snacks fall down
Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)19:43:23 No.554686786 File: 1617048593725.jpg (6 KB, 236x285) >vending machine stole a dollar >smack the machine on the side >critical hit >all the snacks fall down

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Anon is abusing a tranny. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)20:08:58 No.853872049 >be me >14 >playing cricket in gym class >balls thrown at trans kid >didn't catch it >friend said "at least try next time you f------ t-----" >trans kid just stood there and started 8 KB JPG to cry >l fell to the floor laughing >my teacher screamed at us both and we got put in exclusion all day >it was put into our permanent records as "LGBTQ abuse and harassment"
: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)20:08:58 No.853872049 >be me >14 >playing cricket in gym class >balls thrown at trans kid >didn't catch it >friend said "at least try next time you f------ t-----" >trans kid just stood there and started 8 KB JPG to cry >l fell to the floor laughing >my teacher screamed at us both and we got put in exclusion all day >it was put into our permanent records as "LGBTQ abuse and harassment"

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Anon recall halloween | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ? 10/31/18(Wed)18:44:49 No.6799421 >1993 >older boy in neighborhood is always playing pranks >Halloween night he puts out huge bowl of candy >bowl sits in chair in the center of the yard with a sign that reads "please take only one piece" >kid hides in house upstairs with the lights off >spends night shooting at people who take more than one piece with a BB gun from a cracked open second story window.
: Anonymous ? 10/31/18(Wed)18:44:49 No.6799421 >1993 >older boy in neighborhood is always playing pranks >Halloween night he puts out huge bowl of candy >bowl sits in chair in the center of the yard with a sign that reads "please take only one piece" >kid hides in house upstairs with the lights off >spends night shooting at people who take more than one piece with a BB gun from a cracked open second story window.

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Anon has a weird body | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)08:14:31 No.853856286 >be me RS >struggle keeping a decent sleep schedule Ci get on a normal schedule >keep at it for a good few days >feel energetic early in the morning and >finally after weeks of training my body 32 KB JPG sleepy at around 9pm every night| >start feeling drowsy at around 2pm one day "Ive got work in a few hours, and l've been doing good at sleeping at normal times recently. Might as well treat myself to a short power nap" >take half hour nap at mid day >l've now been wide awake for 32 hours straight Why is my body like this?
: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)08:14:31 No.853856286 >be me RS >struggle keeping a decent sleep schedule Ci get on a normal schedule >keep at it for a good few days >feel energetic early in the morning and >finally after weeks of training my body 32 KB JPG sleepy at around 9pm every night| >start feeling drowsy at around 2pm one day "Ive got work in a few hours, and l've been doing good at sleeping at normal times recently. Might as well treat myself to a short power nap" >take half hour nap at mid day >l've now been wide awake for 32 hours straight Why is my body like this?

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