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Anon dodges a bullet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)08:00:58 No.854160629 >be me >15/16 y/o at the time >fall in love with a 7/10 emo cutie >she likes me too >we start dating >eventually things start going too 8 KB JPG fast and I chicken out >virginityintact.jpg >she was only interested in a sexual relationship so I end up getting ghosted >miss her constantly and wonder if I made the right decision >ffw 5 years and I see her at her brother's zoom wedding >she's 150 pounds fatter, now a single mom of one. >barely even a 3/10 >mfw I don't have any regrets now : Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)08:09:24 No.854160945 Well done
: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)08:00:58 No.854160629 >be me >15/16 y/o at the time >fall in love with a 7/10 emo cutie >she likes me too >we start dating >eventually things start going too 8 KB JPG fast and I chicken out >virginityintact.jpg >she was only interested in a sexual relationship so I end up getting ghosted >miss her constantly and wonder if I made the right decision >ffw 5 years and I see her at her brother's zoom wedding >she's 150 pounds fatter, now a single mom of one. >barely even a 3/10 >mfw I don't have any regrets now : Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)08:09:24 No.854160945 Well done

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Anon goes to the cafe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why are moids like this 05/11/21(Tue)02:39:38 No.63620413 >sitting in cafe by myself >group of highschool age boys are sitting at other side messing around and laughing >anxiety kicks in because they are probably laughing at me >one of them gets up and starts 35 KB JPG walking over >he looks like a discount Dante from DMC3, same hair cut and color >strolls up to me >look up at him >he says >"hey girl, is your father a toilet because your the s---" >even did dual finger guns at me while saying that >I stuttered a bunch because anxiety and looked like a retard >he spun around and loudly said "see josh its literally that easy" >see whole table start goading "josh" into doing something >"josh" gets up and walks over to me and says >"hey lady my d--- died can I burry it in your ass" >can hear the hostess trying not to laugh, same with the server >sit there with dumb expression on my face the entire time >discount Dante yells out "hot DAMN josh" >him and josh pace back to table and a few minutes later leave, can see them laughing at me while leaving Why are moids like this. I was having a nice time at the cafe and get dabbed on by literal highschool age boys. 33 Replies / 5 Images View Thread
: Anonymous Why are moids like this 05/11/21(Tue)02:39:38 No.63620413 >sitting in cafe by myself >group of highschool age boys are sitting at other side messing around and laughing >anxiety kicks in because they are probably laughing at me >one of them gets up and starts 35 KB JPG walking over >he looks like a discount Dante from DMC3, same hair cut and color >strolls up to me >look up at him >he says >"hey girl, is your father a toilet because your the s---" >even did dual finger guns at me while saying that >I stuttered a bunch because anxiety and looked like a retard >he spun around and loudly said "see josh its literally that easy" >see whole table start goading "josh" into doing something >"josh" gets up and walks over to me and says >"hey lady my d--- died can I burry it in your ass" >can hear the hostess trying not to laugh, same with the server >sit there with dumb expression on my face the entire time >discount Dante yells out "hot DAMN josh" >him and josh pace back to table and a few minutes later leave, can see them laughing at me while leaving Why are moids like this. I was having a nice time at the cafe and get dabbed on by literal highschool age boys. 33 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon is paranoid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/18(Fri)10:26:44 No.772208773 > Be me > On bus to work > Eating potato chips > Bus is only half full > Sitting by myself and 8.5/10 sits next to me and says hi and starts talking 25 KB PNG > I think I was chewing too loud and she can hear it > Get off 4 stops before work because I got too nervous > Have to wait for next bus and 20 mins late to work Why am I like this?
: Anonymous 06/22/18(Fri)10:26:44 No.772208773 > Be me > On bus to work > Eating potato chips > Bus is only half full > Sitting by myself and 8.5/10 sits next to me and says hi and starts talking 25 KB PNG > I think I was chewing too loud and she can hear it > Get off 4 stops before work because I got too nervous > Have to wait for next bus and 20 mins late to work Why am I like this?

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El Minecraft | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [] 05/10/21(Mon)18:59:35 No.144686289 >be me in middle school >have brown skin and a rectangular shaped face >everyone calls me "El Minecraft" As a kid, did you suffer from bullying in 45 KB JPG your country too?
: Anonymous [] 05/10/21(Mon)18:59:35 No.144686289 >be me in middle school >have brown skin and a rectangular shaped face >everyone calls me "El Minecraft" As a kid, did you suffer from bullying in 45 KB JPG your country too?

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No Shit In The Toilet | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)04:40:53 No. >be me >take a s--- >consciously feel s--- coming out >get up to wipe >no s--- >look at toilet bowl >no s--- what the f--- happened? + 8 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here O Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)05:03:50 >>854153575 (OP) Prolapsed anus. Stop being a f--
O Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)04:40:53 No. >be me >take a s--- >consciously feel s--- coming out >get up to wipe >no s--- >look at toilet bowl >no s--- what the f--- happened? + 8 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here O Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)05:03:50 >>854153575 (OP) Prolapsed anus. Stop being a f--

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Anon and his prostitute have a good laugh | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)11:34:55 No.63621195 >go to my regular prostitute >talking after >she says I'm really clean >tell her I've had 5 showers today >she tells me indians are smelly and don't shower 21 KB JPG >l agree >we both have a good laugh >mfw View Thread
: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)11:34:55 No.63621195 >go to my regular prostitute >talking after >she says I'm really clean >tell her I've had 5 showers today >she tells me indians are smelly and don't shower 21 KB JPG >l agree >we both have a good laugh >mfw View Thread

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Anon speaks fax. | /r/Greentext

4h (3/20 16:29) · 148317395 110 Re · 27 Img · JPG 104KB · (736 × 960) 9 Replies >southern character in a movie >WELLL I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT BUT WELLLLL I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANY OF THAT BIG CITY STUFF BUT WELLLLLLLLL I'M FROM THE SOUTH, AND DOWN HERE WE DO THINGS A BIT DIFFERENTLY.
4h (3/20 16:29) · 148317395 110 Re · 27 Img · JPG 104KB · (736 × 960) 9 Replies >southern character in a movie >WELLL I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT BUT WELLLLL I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANY OF THAT BIG CITY STUFF BUT WELLLLLLLLL I'M FROM THE SOUTH, AND DOWN HERE WE DO THINGS A BIT DIFFERENTLY.

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Anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)15:07:11 No.854158581 >be me >second half of the freshman year >small groups of friends have already formed >everyone's talking and laughing >desperately trying to fit in 448 KB PNG >see one computer guy who seems to be rather lonely like me >awkwardly discuss studying sometimes >today, finally decide to talk about something except classes >hey dude who's your day going? >Let me tell you a hilarious story happened today >he looks interested and smiles >l begin, feeling uplifted >halfway through the story >he takes out f------ airpods I didn't notice >"wait anon you've been talking to me?" End my life
: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)15:07:11 No.854158581 >be me >second half of the freshman year >small groups of friends have already formed >everyone's talking and laughing >desperately trying to fit in 448 KB PNG >see one computer guy who seems to be rather lonely like me >awkwardly discuss studying sometimes >today, finally decide to talk about something except classes >hey dude who's your day going? >Let me tell you a hilarious story happened today >he looks interested and smiles >l begin, feeling uplifted >halfway through the story >he takes out f------ airpods I didn't notice >"wait anon you've been talking to me?" End my life

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anon is down bad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 790197942 49 min. ago ... >at a party >sitting alone and petting dog because aspergers.jpg >cute 6/10 with nice tight bod comes up to me > "hehe are you more of a dog person than a cat person anon" Autism kicks in 178.3 kB JPG > "hehe a holes a hole to me"
Anonymous | 790197942 49 min. ago ... >at a party >sitting alone and petting dog because aspergers.jpg >cute 6/10 with nice tight bod comes up to me > "hehe are you more of a dog person than a cat person anon" Autism kicks in 178.3 kB JPG > "hehe a holes a hole to me"

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Anon posts on reddit | /r/Greentext

File: 1352501900004.jpg-(130 KB, 650x813, sads.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: Z/jgpDx3) 11/09/12(Fri)17:58:20 No.435969427 Replies: >>435971345 >>435971635 >>435971949 >>435972123 >>435972254 >>435972291 >435972559 >>435972704 >>435973158 >>435973159 >>435973326 >>435973549 >>435973950 >>435974179 >>435974538 >>435974676 >>435975137 >>435975236 >>435975307 >>435975408 >>435975448 >>435975862 >>435975875 >>435975909 >>435975973 >gf is prego >we like to get kinky anyways >one night things get particularly saucy >i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird f------ chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights >w-- it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period >i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering >ohshitohshitohshitohshit >i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital >she's still bleeding everywhere >by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much more, but all color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent >oh s---, she looks like she's in a vegetative state >storm into to the emergency room, carry her to the nearest doctor and explain everything >he takes one look at her and says >"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" >"WHY THE F--- NOT???" >"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce" >mfw
File: 1352501900004.jpg-(130 KB, 650x813, sads.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: Z/jgpDx3) 11/09/12(Fri)17:58:20 No.435969427 Replies: >>435971345 >>435971635 >>435971949 >>435972123 >>435972254 >>435972291 >435972559 >>435972704 >>435973158 >>435973159 >>435973326 >>435973549 >>435973950 >>435974179 >>435974538 >>435974676 >>435975137 >>435975236 >>435975307 >>435975408 >>435975448 >>435975862 >>435975875 >>435975909 >>435975973 >gf is prego >we like to get kinky anyways >one night things get particularly saucy >i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird f------ chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights >w-- it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period >i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering >ohshitohshitohshitohshit >i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital >she's still bleeding everywhere >by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much more, but all color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent >oh s---, she looks like she's in a vegetative state >storm into to the emergency room, carry her to the nearest doctor and explain everything >he takes one look at her and says >"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" >"WHY THE F--- NOT???" >"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce" >mfw

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Anon becomes a troll | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous (ID: 66X97XZO ) 07/21/14(Mon)21:32:39 No.55 >be grade 12 >all the school computers are windows XP >minecraft alpha going crazy at the time >cleveridea.jpg >one day in library during lunch >see open computer >sit down open up notepad >enter code for deleting system 32 >change the icon to minecraft >name it minecraft.exe >put it in computer shared drive >next day like 14-30 computers all bricked >never found out it was me
U Anonymous (ID: 66X97XZO ) 07/21/14(Mon)21:32:39 No.55 >be grade 12 >all the school computers are windows XP >minecraft alpha going crazy at the time >cleveridea.jpg >one day in library during lunch >see open computer >sit down open up notepad >enter code for deleting system 32 >change the icon to minecraft >name it minecraft.exe >put it in computer shared drive >next day like 14-30 computers all bricked >never found out it was me

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Anon meets his first kiss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)06:39:45 No.63555908 >be >walking to work >see the first girl i ever kissed walking down the street >always remembered her, always regretted never making a relationship with her >she had always been an angel in 165 KB JPG my mind >make small talk and add her on facebook later that day >check out her account to see if shes single >my blood runs cold >my memories have just been sold >she has an onlyfans >my angel is in simp folds
: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)06:39:45 No.63555908 >be >walking to work >see the first girl i ever kissed walking down the street >always remembered her, always regretted never making a relationship with her >she had always been an angel in 165 KB JPG my mind >make small talk and add her on facebook later that day >check out her account to see if shes single >my blood runs cold >my memories have just been sold >she has an onlyfans >my angel is in simp folds

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True 4chan mentality. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/30/15(Wed)13:20:20 No.52136895 Let's write a Java program, one line per post. Java public class 4chan { Sun Microsystems 15 KB PNG : Anonymous 12/30/15(Wed)13:22:04 No.52136914 } >>52137050 # >>52137154 # >>52137176 # >>52137440 # >>52139445 # >>52139611 # >>52139839 # >>52139845 #
: Anonymous 12/30/15(Wed)13:20:20 No.52136895 Let's write a Java program, one line per post. Java public class 4chan { Sun Microsystems 15 KB PNG : Anonymous 12/30/15(Wed)13:22:04 No.52136914 } >>52137050 # >>52137154 # >>52137176 # >>52137440 # >>52139445 # >>52139611 # >>52139839 # >>52139845 #

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Anon has a gamer moment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)09:48:07 No.852674088 >be me >Moved back to Poland >have English lessons even though im more fluent than the teacher >Teacher's going round asking everyone the same question > "What do you hate" 7 KB JPG > its my turn > Teacher asks "What do you hate [Anon]?" > *dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it* >i confidently and loudly say "Minorities" Pic Related
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)09:48:07 No.852674088 >be me >Moved back to Poland >have English lessons even though im more fluent than the teacher >Teacher's going round asking everyone the same question > "What do you hate" 7 KB JPG > its my turn > Teacher asks "What do you hate [Anon]?" > *dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it* >i confidently and loudly say "Minorities" Pic Related

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Anon is simply devilish | /r/Greentext

How about a /devilish/ thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser 63 KB JPG >over the line >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. %3D Who is the loser now?
How about a /devilish/ thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser 63 KB JPG >over the line >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. %3D Who is the loser now?

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anon could stab her with the mighty D | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/18(Wed)00:46:16 No.757814844 >me 6 y.o. >out of f------ nowhere I stab this girl with a pencil (I stabbed her hand) >obviously I got into big trouble >4 years later we end up in the same group in elementary >she's still f------ p----- that I stabbed her with a pencil >a year later she moves out of town >2014, I'm bar diving, cruisin' for p---- >this hot chick has been eyeballing me all night >it's pretty obvious she wants the D >l approach with romantic intentions >"omg, are you anon from happy cloud kindergarden?" >why yes I am ma'am >you remember how you stabbed me with a pencil? I sill have the tip lodged under my skin >Crazy times right? anyway, now that we're both older I can stab you with the mighty D all night >she slaps me, calls me an a------ a proceeds to tell the security people l've been harassing her all night >they kicked me out f------ bitch, I'm glad I stabbed her and l'd do it again.
: Anonymous 01/24/18(Wed)00:46:16 No.757814844 >me 6 y.o. >out of f------ nowhere I stab this girl with a pencil (I stabbed her hand) >obviously I got into big trouble >4 years later we end up in the same group in elementary >she's still f------ p----- that I stabbed her with a pencil >a year later she moves out of town >2014, I'm bar diving, cruisin' for p---- >this hot chick has been eyeballing me all night >it's pretty obvious she wants the D >l approach with romantic intentions >"omg, are you anon from happy cloud kindergarden?" >why yes I am ma'am >you remember how you stabbed me with a pencil? I sill have the tip lodged under my skin >Crazy times right? anyway, now that we're both older I can stab you with the mighty D all night >she slaps me, calls me an a------ a proceeds to tell the security people l've been harassing her all night >they kicked me out f------ bitch, I'm glad I stabbed her and l'd do it again.

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Anon reminisces the good old days | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: nL2wgYrM) 05/11/21(Tue)10:42:31 No.35023847 v >>3 sadjak.jpg (31 KB, 720x748) google yandex iqdb wait >pretend to be sick >heat up thermometer on lightbulb when mom not looking >anon, youre burning up! III call you off school >wait til mom leaves >remove ethernet cord from back of router >slide family computer desk out of the way >stretch it across the room >plug into my ps2 >play star wars battlefront 2 online all day >end every match with 4 kills and 40 deaths >doesn't matter >the most fun l've ever had >put everything back in place at 4pm >slide back into bed >garage door opens >hi mom >hey anon, how you doing? you been drinking your fluids? >yes mom >eat chicken noodle soup while watching avatar on tv >bed time >drift into a dream filled slumber >the opportunities are endless >my whole life is in front of me
Anonymous (ID: nL2wgYrM) 05/11/21(Tue)10:42:31 No.35023847 v >>3 sadjak.jpg (31 KB, 720x748) google yandex iqdb wait >pretend to be sick >heat up thermometer on lightbulb when mom not looking >anon, youre burning up! III call you off school >wait til mom leaves >remove ethernet cord from back of router >slide family computer desk out of the way >stretch it across the room >plug into my ps2 >play star wars battlefront 2 online all day >end every match with 4 kills and 40 deaths >doesn't matter >the most fun l've ever had >put everything back in place at 4pm >slide back into bed >garage door opens >hi mom >hey anon, how you doing? you been drinking your fluids? >yes mom >eat chicken noodle soup while watching avatar on tv >bed time >drift into a dream filled slumber >the opportunities are endless >my whole life is in front of me

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Anon of the Hill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)19:33:16 No.150714206 210[1].jpg 13 KB JPG >>150711524 (OP) # >Peg, listen... heh... it's great that you're makin' money and all. But I'm not sure I'm comfortable with these dang messages you're getting. "Send feet", "show-", ugh...". p----"... And what's this one say? "Loved the video of you taking BBC"? You were on the news? >>150714262 # >>150716859 # 4HH
: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)19:33:16 No.150714206 210[1].jpg 13 KB JPG >>150711524 (OP) # >Peg, listen... heh... it's great that you're makin' money and all. But I'm not sure I'm comfortable with these dang messages you're getting. "Send feet", "show-", ugh...". p----"... And what's this one say? "Loved the video of you taking BBC"? You were on the news? >>150714262 # >>150716859 # 4HH

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Sweden btfo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous EE 05/05/21(Wed)20:25:12 No.144384578 >be American >butter comes in a bucket 14 KB PNG : Anonymous = 05/05/21(Wed)20:29:21 No.144384818 >>144384578 (OP) # >be Swedish >rapefugees come in women 2 KB JPG >>144384849 # >>144384880 # >>144384984 # >>144385049 #
: Anonymous EE 05/05/21(Wed)20:25:12 No.144384578 >be American >butter comes in a bucket 14 KB PNG : Anonymous = 05/05/21(Wed)20:29:21 No.144384818 >>144384578 (OP) # >be Swedish >rapefugees come in women 2 KB JPG >>144384849 # >>144384880 # >>144384984 # >>144385049 #

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)22:53:31 No.854132396 >be me >a depression riddled suicidal bitch >goes to school everyday looking like complete s--- >bullied >ask a girl who talks s--- about me what she thinks about my mental state >tells me everyone thinks I must be suicidal and have 28 KB JPG mental health issues >mfw I realize everyone knows how much I suffer and still choose to make fun of me Wow i must be that f------ annoying
: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)22:53:31 No.854132396 >be me >a depression riddled suicidal bitch >goes to school everyday looking like complete s--- >bullied >ask a girl who talks s--- about me what she thinks about my mental state >tells me everyone thinks I must be suicidal and have 28 KB JPG mental health issues >mfw I realize everyone knows how much I suffer and still choose to make fun of me Wow i must be that f------ annoying

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