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Incredible last 2 leaked scene | /r/Greentext

>be me >getting ready for evening with wife >suddenly I notice that ththe city is in danger from a giant robot >rush to grab my super suit >it's f------ missing >yell "honey? Where's my super 16 KB JPG suit?" >bitch f------ hid it >use my super powers to freeze her to death >instant erection >j------- >c-- with enough force to blow someone's head clean off >as c-- shoots out my d--- it freezes mid stream >my d--- hole is blocked with frozen c-- chunks >rush to bathroom >use knife to try and pry chunks out of d--- >it just pushes it down further >get idea >need to c-- and fast >start jerking it again >c-- so hard it sends the chunks flying out of my c--- at Mach speed >chunks cut the inside of my d--- as they fly out >f--- >suddenly a fountain of blood shoots out of my c--- >rush to bathtub where the c-- chunks landed >pick up frozen chunks of c-- and jam them down my blood spraying c--- hole >crisis averted In theatres June 14th
>be me >getting ready for evening with wife >suddenly I notice that ththe city is in danger from a giant robot >rush to grab my super suit >it's f------ missing >yell "honey? Where's my super 16 KB JPG suit?" >bitch f------ hid it >use my super powers to freeze her to death >instant erection >j------- >c-- with enough force to blow someone's head clean off >as c-- shoots out my d--- it freezes mid stream >my d--- hole is blocked with frozen c-- chunks >rush to bathroom >use knife to try and pry chunks out of d--- >it just pushes it down further >get idea >need to c-- and fast >start jerking it again >c-- so hard it sends the chunks flying out of my c--- at Mach speed >chunks cut the inside of my d--- as they fly out >f--- >suddenly a fountain of blood shoots out of my c--- >rush to bathtub where the c-- chunks landed >pick up frozen chunks of c-- and jam them down my blood spraying c--- hole >crisis averted In theatres June 14th

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Catanon has owner issues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)08:30:50 No.63587531 >F------ OWNER DOESN'T REMEMBER TO FEED ME >FEEDS ME 6 HOURS PAST MY MEAL TIME >FEEDS ME MY MIDDAY MEAL JUST AN HOUR AFTERWARDS 10 KB JPG >l'M NOT F------ HUNGRY >DON'T MAKE ME EAT AGAIN PLEASE DEAR F--- >IT'S NOT F------ FAIR >JUST LET ME F------ FREE FEED >I PROMISE I WON'T GAIN FIVE POUNDS AGAIN >FUUUUUUCK!!! any other anyans having trouble like this?
: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)08:30:50 No.63587531 >F------ OWNER DOESN'T REMEMBER TO FEED ME >FEEDS ME 6 HOURS PAST MY MEAL TIME >FEEDS ME MY MIDDAY MEAL JUST AN HOUR AFTERWARDS 10 KB JPG >l'M NOT F------ HUNGRY >DON'T MAKE ME EAT AGAIN PLEASE DEAR F--- >IT'S NOT F------ FAIR >JUST LET ME F------ FREE FEED >I PROMISE I WON'T GAIN FIVE POUNDS AGAIN >FUUUUUUCK!!! any other anyans having trouble like this?

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Anon gets saved | /r/Greentext


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Hard times during the Old Ages | /r/Greentext


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anons best friend is attracted to him | /r/Greentext

>be me >be in university >me and best friend there always joke about traps because of the meme >browse trap threads from time to 8 KB JPG time >curious about it but not a big deal >one day friend from university says we need to talk >"oh ok" >he doesn't wait and tell me by text >"anon I need to tell you that I actually want to become a trap and I'm getting huge feelings towards you" >get massive boner and don't know how to respond F--- you guys now I'm a total f----- and want to f--- my best friend in a dress because of you
>be me >be in university >me and best friend there always joke about traps because of the meme >browse trap threads from time to 8 KB JPG time >curious about it but not a big deal >one day friend from university says we need to talk >"oh ok" >he doesn't wait and tell me by text >"anon I need to tell you that I actually want to become a trap and I'm getting huge feelings towards you" >get massive boner and don't know how to respond F--- you guys now I'm a total f----- and want to f--- my best friend in a dress because of you

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Femanon is a manager | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)20:20:39 No.63610601 >Be femanager of a startup company >Hire mostly Chads and Stacys >Also hire one beta guy so we can all bully him 240 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)20:20:39 No.63610601 >Be femanager of a startup company >Hire mostly Chads and Stacys >Also hire one beta guy so we can all bully him 240 KB JPG

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Anon sings | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 9xxZ/GIP ) 10/30/20(Fri)22:40:42 No.23620505 Let the pee pee hit the poo Let the pee pee hit the poo Let the pee pee hit the poo Let the pee pee hit the 69 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: 9xxZ/GIP ) 10/30/20(Fri)22:41:03 No.236205 62 KB JPG PO00000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000
: Anonymous (ID: 9xxZ/GIP ) 10/30/20(Fri)22:40:42 No.23620505 Let the pee pee hit the poo Let the pee pee hit the poo Let the pee pee hit the poo Let the pee pee hit the 69 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: 9xxZ/GIP ) 10/30/20(Fri)22:41:03 No.236205 62 KB JPG PO00000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000

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Anon is a shithead | /r/Greentext

2:32 A boards.4chan.org – Private Board /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home >got my brother's spare key because we live a walking distance away >we buy the same kind of bread because that's the same one we had at home 85 KB JPG >he's a man of schedule, goes shopping the same day every week, he goes on the same walk at the same time of day every day >always hated how irregular my habits are >decide to be a s------- for no reason >get a bag of bread on the same day he's gone shopping >toast the entire thing and put it back in the bag >wait until it's time for brother's walk >take my bag of toast and sneak in with my keys >know where he keeps his bread, switch the bag of bread with the bag of toast >toast two slices of bread to make the whole house smell like toast >escape once they're done >make sure I left no mark in the house, touch nothing >make it to home, start gaming >25 minutes later I get a text "I don't know how or why you've done this but I will f------ end you." View Thread
2:32 A boards.4chan.org – Private Board /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home >got my brother's spare key because we live a walking distance away >we buy the same kind of bread because that's the same one we had at home 85 KB JPG >he's a man of schedule, goes shopping the same day every week, he goes on the same walk at the same time of day every day >always hated how irregular my habits are >decide to be a s------- for no reason >get a bag of bread on the same day he's gone shopping >toast the entire thing and put it back in the bag >wait until it's time for brother's walk >take my bag of toast and sneak in with my keys >know where he keeps his bread, switch the bag of bread with the bag of toast >toast two slices of bread to make the whole house smell like toast >escape once they're done >make sure I left no mark in the house, touch nothing >make it to home, start gaming >25 minutes later I get a text "I don't know how or why you've done this but I will f------ end you." View Thread

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Anon needs to pee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)18:55:30 No.854171645 >be me >be fat autistic 12 year old walking home from school >have to pee >have to pee really bad 8 KB JPG >Walk into convenience store near my house >take 3 steps into the store >immediately stop and start pissing my pants >frozen with autism and cant move until| finish pissing my pants >look up >see one of those recording TVs that show you walking in >it recorded all of it >i walk out and leave behind a giant puddle of piss Mfw I am haunted by this memory most nights
: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)18:55:30 No.854171645 >be me >be fat autistic 12 year old walking home from school >have to pee >have to pee really bad 8 KB JPG >Walk into convenience store near my house >take 3 steps into the store >immediately stop and start pissing my pants >frozen with autism and cant move until| finish pissing my pants >look up >see one of those recording TVs that show you walking in >it recorded all of it >i walk out and leave behind a giant puddle of piss Mfw I am haunted by this memory most nights

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Anon is a turtle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/19(Sat)01:11:57 No.810541537 >be me >sea turtle >chilling in the reef with my wife >have to move from reef to reef for munchies >one day >chilling in the seagrass, munchin 30 KB JPG >spot massive f------ jellyfish >holyshit.jpg >swim towards it as fast as i can >finally reach the jellyfish >take a bite >w-- >its plastic >die from intestinal bloackage
: Anonymous 09/28/19(Sat)01:11:57 No.810541537 >be me >sea turtle >chilling in the reef with my wife >have to move from reef to reef for munchies >one day >chilling in the seagrass, munchin 30 KB JPG >spot massive f------ jellyfish >holyshit.jpg >swim towards it as fast as i can >finally reach the jellyfish >take a bite >w-- >its plastic >die from intestinal bloackage

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Anon is a baby killer | /r/Greentext

File: Nervous pepe jng (7 KB, 231x218) Anonymous 03/12/17(Sun)15:57:54 No.35478083 >Playing air hockey with sister's friend. >She's pregnant >Accidentally knock the puck into her stomach >Joke that I used my secret baby killing technique >She has a miscarriage.
File: Nervous pepe jng (7 KB, 231x218) Anonymous 03/12/17(Sun)15:57:54 No.35478083 >Playing air hockey with sister's friend. >She's pregnant >Accidentally knock the puck into her stomach >Joke that I used my secret baby killing technique >She has a miscarriage.

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Anon has friendly Chad classmates | /r/Greentext

>Be me, 17 >Year is 2016 >11th Grade >Shy, low self-esteem weeb with average looks, not a lot of friends. Knew a few girls and got hit on a few times, but no gf because too shy. >PE Class >It's Weight lifting and /fit/ stuff >FML.mov >l do a few reps on the first machine I see with the lowest weight possible because f--- that s--- >Class Chad ends up increasing the weight a bit when I'm taking a break >l don't notice and resume my reps >I don't notice the change in weight >Chad comes up to me with the biggest grin on his face >WTFjpg >He tells me to check the weight I lifted >I realize it's higher than when I started >HolyShit.gif >"See, Anon ? You're stronger than you think you are." >tfw he and his friends befriended me and set their minds to improving my self-esteem for the rest of the year It happened so long ago but remember it like it was yesterday.
>Be me, 17 >Year is 2016 >11th Grade >Shy, low self-esteem weeb with average looks, not a lot of friends. Knew a few girls and got hit on a few times, but no gf because too shy. >PE Class >It's Weight lifting and /fit/ stuff >FML.mov >l do a few reps on the first machine I see with the lowest weight possible because f--- that s--- >Class Chad ends up increasing the weight a bit when I'm taking a break >l don't notice and resume my reps >I don't notice the change in weight >Chad comes up to me with the biggest grin on his face >WTFjpg >He tells me to check the weight I lifted >I realize it's higher than when I started >HolyShit.gif >"See, Anon ? You're stronger than you think you are." >tfw he and his friends befriended me and set their minds to improving my self-esteem for the rest of the year It happened so long ago but remember it like it was yesterday.

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Best hero ever! | /r/Greentext

>help millions with depression >be ranked as best artist in your career >donate to charities >help the homeless, generally be a good guy >be mourned by people across the planet >be bob ross >pic unrelated
>help millions with depression >be ranked as best artist in your career >donate to charities >help the homeless, generally be a good guy >be mourned by people across the planet >be bob ross >pic unrelated

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Anon dodges a bullet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)08:00:58 No.854160629 >be me >15/16 y/o at the time >fall in love with a 7/10 emo cutie >she likes me too >we start dating >eventually things start going too 8 KB JPG fast and I chicken out >virginityintact.jpg >she was only interested in a sexual relationship so I end up getting ghosted >miss her constantly and wonder if I made the right decision >ffw 5 years and I see her at her brother's zoom wedding >she's 150 pounds fatter, now a single mom of one. >barely even a 3/10 >mfw I don't have any regrets now : Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)08:09:24 No.854160945 Well done
: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)08:00:58 No.854160629 >be me >15/16 y/o at the time >fall in love with a 7/10 emo cutie >she likes me too >we start dating >eventually things start going too 8 KB JPG fast and I chicken out >virginityintact.jpg >she was only interested in a sexual relationship so I end up getting ghosted >miss her constantly and wonder if I made the right decision >ffw 5 years and I see her at her brother's zoom wedding >she's 150 pounds fatter, now a single mom of one. >barely even a 3/10 >mfw I don't have any regrets now : Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)08:09:24 No.854160945 Well done

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Anon goes to the cafe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why are moids like this 05/11/21(Tue)02:39:38 No.63620413 >sitting in cafe by myself >group of highschool age boys are sitting at other side messing around and laughing >anxiety kicks in because they are probably laughing at me >one of them gets up and starts 35 KB JPG walking over >he looks like a discount Dante from DMC3, same hair cut and color >strolls up to me >look up at him >he says >"hey girl, is your father a toilet because your the s---" >even did dual finger guns at me while saying that >I stuttered a bunch because anxiety and looked like a retard >he spun around and loudly said "see josh its literally that easy" >see whole table start goading "josh" into doing something >"josh" gets up and walks over to me and says >"hey lady my d--- died can I burry it in your ass" >can hear the hostess trying not to laugh, same with the server >sit there with dumb expression on my face the entire time >discount Dante yells out "hot DAMN josh" >him and josh pace back to table and a few minutes later leave, can see them laughing at me while leaving Why are moids like this. I was having a nice time at the cafe and get dabbed on by literal highschool age boys. 33 Replies / 5 Images View Thread
: Anonymous Why are moids like this 05/11/21(Tue)02:39:38 No.63620413 >sitting in cafe by myself >group of highschool age boys are sitting at other side messing around and laughing >anxiety kicks in because they are probably laughing at me >one of them gets up and starts 35 KB JPG walking over >he looks like a discount Dante from DMC3, same hair cut and color >strolls up to me >look up at him >he says >"hey girl, is your father a toilet because your the s---" >even did dual finger guns at me while saying that >I stuttered a bunch because anxiety and looked like a retard >he spun around and loudly said "see josh its literally that easy" >see whole table start goading "josh" into doing something >"josh" gets up and walks over to me and says >"hey lady my d--- died can I burry it in your ass" >can hear the hostess trying not to laugh, same with the server >sit there with dumb expression on my face the entire time >discount Dante yells out "hot DAMN josh" >him and josh pace back to table and a few minutes later leave, can see them laughing at me while leaving Why are moids like this. I was having a nice time at the cafe and get dabbed on by literal highschool age boys. 33 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon is paranoid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/18(Fri)10:26:44 No.772208773 > Be me > On bus to work > Eating potato chips > Bus is only half full > Sitting by myself and 8.5/10 sits next to me and says hi and starts talking 25 KB PNG > I think I was chewing too loud and she can hear it > Get off 4 stops before work because I got too nervous > Have to wait for next bus and 20 mins late to work Why am I like this?
: Anonymous 06/22/18(Fri)10:26:44 No.772208773 > Be me > On bus to work > Eating potato chips > Bus is only half full > Sitting by myself and 8.5/10 sits next to me and says hi and starts talking 25 KB PNG > I think I was chewing too loud and she can hear it > Get off 4 stops before work because I got too nervous > Have to wait for next bus and 20 mins late to work Why am I like this?

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El Minecraft | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [] 05/10/21(Mon)18:59:35 No.144686289 >be me in middle school >have brown skin and a rectangular shaped face >everyone calls me "El Minecraft" As a kid, did you suffer from bullying in 45 KB JPG your country too?
: Anonymous [] 05/10/21(Mon)18:59:35 No.144686289 >be me in middle school >have brown skin and a rectangular shaped face >everyone calls me "El Minecraft" As a kid, did you suffer from bullying in 45 KB JPG your country too?

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No Shit In The Toilet | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)04:40:53 No. >be me >take a s--- >consciously feel s--- coming out >get up to wipe >no s--- >look at toilet bowl >no s--- what the f--- happened? + 8 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here O Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)05:03:50 >>854153575 (OP) Prolapsed anus. Stop being a f--
O Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)04:40:53 No. >be me >take a s--- >consciously feel s--- coming out >get up to wipe >no s--- >look at toilet bowl >no s--- what the f--- happened? + 8 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here O Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)05:03:50 >>854153575 (OP) Prolapsed anus. Stop being a f--

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Anon and his prostitute have a good laugh | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)11:34:55 No.63621195 >go to my regular prostitute >talking after >she says I'm really clean >tell her I've had 5 showers today >she tells me indians are smelly and don't shower 21 KB JPG >l agree >we both have a good laugh >mfw View Thread
: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)11:34:55 No.63621195 >go to my regular prostitute >talking after >she says I'm really clean >tell her I've had 5 showers today >she tells me indians are smelly and don't shower 21 KB JPG >l agree >we both have a good laugh >mfw View Thread

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Anon speaks fax. | /r/Greentext

4h (3/20 16:29) · 148317395 110 Re · 27 Img · JPG 104KB · (736 × 960) 9 Replies >southern character in a movie >WELLL I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT BUT WELLLLL I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANY OF THAT BIG CITY STUFF BUT WELLLLLLLLL I'M FROM THE SOUTH, AND DOWN HERE WE DO THINGS A BIT DIFFERENTLY.
4h (3/20 16:29) · 148317395 110 Re · 27 Img · JPG 104KB · (736 × 960) 9 Replies >southern character in a movie >WELLL I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT BUT WELLLLL I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANY OF THAT BIG CITY STUFF BUT WELLLLLLLLL I'M FROM THE SOUTH, AND DOWN HERE WE DO THINGS A BIT DIFFERENTLY.

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