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Anon hates Apple.. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right now. 89 KB PNG >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% capacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos
Anonymous Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right now. 89 KB PNG >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% capacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos

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Anon has nightmares. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 05/11/21(Tue)11:20:57 No.63624380 >Go to sleep >start dreaming >For some reason I'm a soldier. >Escorting a chained bugs Bunny in an elevator with some other soldiers >Elevator stops, lights go out >Bugs Bunny isn't there anymore >Oh god oh f--- 166 KB PNG >Elevator opens, big dark room >A big fat silhouette can be seen >OH GOD OH F--- >Everyone get out the elevator and start shooting >He's too fast, he takes everyone down >In the chaos I get hit by a bullet on my left leg >TFW that actually hurt a lot >l keep shooting, he's coming at me >Can't stop him, he's about to reach me >Wake up >W-- is wrong with me w-- did I just dream about >Notice something >There is a big ugly bruise exactly where the bullet hit He's coming for me bros, I don't know what to do, but he's coming close I can feel it.
: Anonymous E 05/11/21(Tue)11:20:57 No.63624380 >Go to sleep >start dreaming >For some reason I'm a soldier. >Escorting a chained bugs Bunny in an elevator with some other soldiers >Elevator stops, lights go out >Bugs Bunny isn't there anymore >Oh god oh f--- 166 KB PNG >Elevator opens, big dark room >A big fat silhouette can be seen >OH GOD OH F--- >Everyone get out the elevator and start shooting >He's too fast, he takes everyone down >In the chaos I get hit by a bullet on my left leg >TFW that actually hurt a lot >l keep shooting, he's coming at me >Can't stop him, he's about to reach me >Wake up >W-- is wrong with me w-- did I just dream about >Notice something >There is a big ugly bruise exactly where the bullet hit He's coming for me bros, I don't know what to do, but he's coming close I can feel it.

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Anons plot twist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/18(Thu)09:27:09 No.766948731 >be me, 14 >sister is 16 >be at home one night, dad is out >sister is wearing bra and panties >boner.jpg >sitting on the couch watching tv >she says she's going to bed, goes to her 28 KB JPG room >dad gets home >dad and I f--- 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 04/26/18(Thu)09:27:09 No.766948731 >be me, 14 >sister is 16 >be at home one night, dad is out >sister is wearing bra and panties >boner.jpg >sitting on the couch watching tv >she says she's going to bed, goes to her 28 KB JPG room >dad gets home >dad and I f--- 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon hates u/floridaoutlaw | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/21 (Wed)14:43:25 No.853716761 >Be me >Have to go to therapy for an incident that happened a few days ago >Post a greentext about it here >Some f----- posts it on Reddit and gets 30,000 updoots F--- you u/floridaoutlaw eat s--- 218 KB GIF and die
: Anonymous 05/05/21 (Wed)14:43:25 No.853716761 >Be me >Have to go to therapy for an incident that happened a few days ago >Post a greentext about it here >Some f----- posts it on Reddit and gets 30,000 updoots F--- you u/floridaoutlaw eat s--- 218 KB GIF and die

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Anon is a simp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)16:38:33 No.63628255 >tip $1,200 to female streamer >she simply says "thx for the tip" then goes back to playing the game 78 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)16:38:33 No.63628255 >tip $1,200 to female streamer >she simply says "thx for the tip" then goes back to playing the game 78 KB JPG

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Anon’s Lady is 280 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/20/11(Wed)19:34 No.7072774 [!] File1303342470.jpg-(6 KB, 242x208, images4.jpg) >in high school >GIANT LANDWHALE, 400+ Ib >is universally known by the school as the fattest kid >senior year, she's voted 'most well-rounded' >mfw
Anonymous 04/20/11(Wed)19:34 No.7072774 [!] File1303342470.jpg-(6 KB, 242x208, images4.jpg) >in high school >GIANT LANDWHALE, 400+ Ib >is universally known by the school as the fattest kid >senior year, she's voted 'most well-rounded' >mfw

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Anon works at GME | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.592760531 Vor 53 Minuten >Be me working at gamestop >parent asks for a game called "cod" >tell her there is no game called "cod" but her son probably meant "Rapala pro bass fishing" there are lots of fish in that game and the closest we have >have ton of copies in the back >we have a deal on, if you buy 2 copies you get 1 free >she buys three brand new copies of this game >she comes back after christmas >all three copies have been opened >no refund because you opened them >a kid out there received 3 copies of a f------ fishing game for christmas ...
Anonymous No.592760531 Vor 53 Minuten >Be me working at gamestop >parent asks for a game called "cod" >tell her there is no game called "cod" but her son probably meant "Rapala pro bass fishing" there are lots of fish in that game and the closest we have >have ton of copies in the back >we have a deal on, if you buy 2 copies you get 1 free >she buys three brand new copies of this game >she comes back after christmas >all three copies have been opened >no refund because you opened them >a kid out there received 3 copies of a f------ fishing game for christmas ...

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Anon is such a lady’s man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/21/18(Wed)17:58:01 No.43378543 Am i retarded? >Be 16 >pretty beta but not bad looking >meet 8/10 japanese girl >start talking 273 KB PNG >she's into me >its happening >says her name is hiroka >gives me her number >call later that night >nervous asf >"Hey hiroshima" >"What did you say Anon?!" >s--- s--- s--- >try to recover >"Because..uh you're the bomb" "she hangs up" View Thread MemeCentercom
: Anonymous 02/21/18(Wed)17:58:01 No.43378543 Am i retarded? >Be 16 >pretty beta but not bad looking >meet 8/10 japanese girl >start talking 273 KB PNG >she's into me >its happening >says her name is hiroka >gives me her number >call later that night >nervous asf >"Hey hiroshima" >"What did you say Anon?!" >s--- s--- s--- >try to recover >"Because..uh you're the bomb" "she hangs up" View Thread MemeCentercom

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Anon works a late shift | /r/Greentext

>Be me yesterday >3rd year in Med School >Working in Trauma Bay, 1am tired as s--- >Call comes in from EMS, 16 year old male, stroke symptoms >N---- w-- 16 year olds don't get strokes >Kid comes in, clearly stroking out, Radiology takes him away for scans and s--- >Meanwhile, I get sent to talk to parents to find out what happened >Stand awkwardly and pat backs to try and console them >Not f------ working >Eventually calm down and I ask them when they noticed the stroke to establish timeline >Turns out the mom was awoken at night by autistic moaning coming from son's room. She goes in, finds him having a stroke at his computer WITH HIS F------ D--- IN HIS HAND >Theydidntpreparemeforthisshit.exe >Take the rest of the history, hurry to operating room to tell the doctor >They're in the middle of the scan >They found an AVM in his brain (malformed, weak blood vessels present at birth) >Start seeing all the clues come together like a TV show >The kid was born with some weak vessels in his brain >Over the years, its been slowly getting weaker >Finally, when this kid was jacking off, the spike in blood pressure from c------ blew it the f--- up >Mfw he literally had a mind blowing orgasm >Míw he died this evening I'll never forget you Stroke Stroker kid.
>Be me yesterday >3rd year in Med School >Working in Trauma Bay, 1am tired as s--- >Call comes in from EMS, 16 year old male, stroke symptoms >N---- w-- 16 year olds don't get strokes >Kid comes in, clearly stroking out, Radiology takes him away for scans and s--- >Meanwhile, I get sent to talk to parents to find out what happened >Stand awkwardly and pat backs to try and console them >Not f------ working >Eventually calm down and I ask them when they noticed the stroke to establish timeline >Turns out the mom was awoken at night by autistic moaning coming from son's room. She goes in, finds him having a stroke at his computer WITH HIS F------ D--- IN HIS HAND >Theydidntpreparemeforthisshit.exe >Take the rest of the history, hurry to operating room to tell the doctor >They're in the middle of the scan >They found an AVM in his brain (malformed, weak blood vessels present at birth) >Start seeing all the clues come together like a TV show >The kid was born with some weak vessels in his brain >Over the years, its been slowly getting weaker >Finally, when this kid was jacking off, the spike in blood pressure from c------ blew it the f--- up >Mfw he literally had a mind blowing orgasm >Míw he died this evening I'll never forget you Stroke Stroker kid.

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Incredible last 2 leaked scene | /r/Greentext

>be me >getting ready for evening with wife >suddenly I notice that ththe city is in danger from a giant robot >rush to grab my super suit >it's f------ missing >yell "honey? Where's my super 16 KB JPG suit?" >bitch f------ hid it >use my super powers to freeze her to death >instant erection >j------- >c-- with enough force to blow someone's head clean off >as c-- shoots out my d--- it freezes mid stream >my d--- hole is blocked with frozen c-- chunks >rush to bathroom >use knife to try and pry chunks out of d--- >it just pushes it down further >get idea >need to c-- and fast >start jerking it again >c-- so hard it sends the chunks flying out of my c--- at Mach speed >chunks cut the inside of my d--- as they fly out >f--- >suddenly a fountain of blood shoots out of my c--- >rush to bathtub where the c-- chunks landed >pick up frozen chunks of c-- and jam them down my blood spraying c--- hole >crisis averted In theatres June 14th
>be me >getting ready for evening with wife >suddenly I notice that ththe city is in danger from a giant robot >rush to grab my super suit >it's f------ missing >yell "honey? Where's my super 16 KB JPG suit?" >bitch f------ hid it >use my super powers to freeze her to death >instant erection >j------- >c-- with enough force to blow someone's head clean off >as c-- shoots out my d--- it freezes mid stream >my d--- hole is blocked with frozen c-- chunks >rush to bathroom >use knife to try and pry chunks out of d--- >it just pushes it down further >get idea >need to c-- and fast >start jerking it again >c-- so hard it sends the chunks flying out of my c--- at Mach speed >chunks cut the inside of my d--- as they fly out >f--- >suddenly a fountain of blood shoots out of my c--- >rush to bathtub where the c-- chunks landed >pick up frozen chunks of c-- and jam them down my blood spraying c--- hole >crisis averted In theatres June 14th

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Catanon has owner issues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)08:30:50 No.63587531 >F------ OWNER DOESN'T REMEMBER TO FEED ME >FEEDS ME 6 HOURS PAST MY MEAL TIME >FEEDS ME MY MIDDAY MEAL JUST AN HOUR AFTERWARDS 10 KB JPG >l'M NOT F------ HUNGRY >DON'T MAKE ME EAT AGAIN PLEASE DEAR F--- >IT'S NOT F------ FAIR >JUST LET ME F------ FREE FEED >I PROMISE I WON'T GAIN FIVE POUNDS AGAIN >FUUUUUUCK!!! any other anyans having trouble like this?
: Anonymous 05/09/21(Sun)08:30:50 No.63587531 >F------ OWNER DOESN'T REMEMBER TO FEED ME >FEEDS ME 6 HOURS PAST MY MEAL TIME >FEEDS ME MY MIDDAY MEAL JUST AN HOUR AFTERWARDS 10 KB JPG >l'M NOT F------ HUNGRY >DON'T MAKE ME EAT AGAIN PLEASE DEAR F--- >IT'S NOT F------ FAIR >JUST LET ME F------ FREE FEED >I PROMISE I WON'T GAIN FIVE POUNDS AGAIN >FUUUUUUCK!!! any other anyans having trouble like this?

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Anon gets saved | /r/Greentext


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Hard times during the Old Ages | /r/Greentext


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anons best friend is attracted to him | /r/Greentext

>be me >be in university >me and best friend there always joke about traps because of the meme >browse trap threads from time to 8 KB JPG time >curious about it but not a big deal >one day friend from university says we need to talk >"oh ok" >he doesn't wait and tell me by text >"anon I need to tell you that I actually want to become a trap and I'm getting huge feelings towards you" >get massive boner and don't know how to respond F--- you guys now I'm a total f----- and want to f--- my best friend in a dress because of you
>be me >be in university >me and best friend there always joke about traps because of the meme >browse trap threads from time to 8 KB JPG time >curious about it but not a big deal >one day friend from university says we need to talk >"oh ok" >he doesn't wait and tell me by text >"anon I need to tell you that I actually want to become a trap and I'm getting huge feelings towards you" >get massive boner and don't know how to respond F--- you guys now I'm a total f----- and want to f--- my best friend in a dress because of you

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Femanon is a manager | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)20:20:39 No.63610601 >Be femanager of a startup company >Hire mostly Chads and Stacys >Also hire one beta guy so we can all bully him 240 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)20:20:39 No.63610601 >Be femanager of a startup company >Hire mostly Chads and Stacys >Also hire one beta guy so we can all bully him 240 KB JPG

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Anon sings | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 9xxZ/GIP ) 10/30/20(Fri)22:40:42 No.23620505 Let the pee pee hit the poo Let the pee pee hit the poo Let the pee pee hit the poo Let the pee pee hit the 69 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: 9xxZ/GIP ) 10/30/20(Fri)22:41:03 No.236205 62 KB JPG PO00000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000
: Anonymous (ID: 9xxZ/GIP ) 10/30/20(Fri)22:40:42 No.23620505 Let the pee pee hit the poo Let the pee pee hit the poo Let the pee pee hit the poo Let the pee pee hit the 69 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: 9xxZ/GIP ) 10/30/20(Fri)22:41:03 No.236205 62 KB JPG PO00000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000

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Anon is a shithead | /r/Greentext

2:32 A boards.4chan.org – Private Board /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home >got my brother's spare key because we live a walking distance away >we buy the same kind of bread because that's the same one we had at home 85 KB JPG >he's a man of schedule, goes shopping the same day every week, he goes on the same walk at the same time of day every day >always hated how irregular my habits are >decide to be a s------- for no reason >get a bag of bread on the same day he's gone shopping >toast the entire thing and put it back in the bag >wait until it's time for brother's walk >take my bag of toast and sneak in with my keys >know where he keeps his bread, switch the bag of bread with the bag of toast >toast two slices of bread to make the whole house smell like toast >escape once they're done >make sure I left no mark in the house, touch nothing >make it to home, start gaming >25 minutes later I get a text "I don't know how or why you've done this but I will f------ end you." View Thread
2:32 A boards.4chan.org – Private Board /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home >got my brother's spare key because we live a walking distance away >we buy the same kind of bread because that's the same one we had at home 85 KB JPG >he's a man of schedule, goes shopping the same day every week, he goes on the same walk at the same time of day every day >always hated how irregular my habits are >decide to be a s------- for no reason >get a bag of bread on the same day he's gone shopping >toast the entire thing and put it back in the bag >wait until it's time for brother's walk >take my bag of toast and sneak in with my keys >know where he keeps his bread, switch the bag of bread with the bag of toast >toast two slices of bread to make the whole house smell like toast >escape once they're done >make sure I left no mark in the house, touch nothing >make it to home, start gaming >25 minutes later I get a text "I don't know how or why you've done this but I will f------ end you." View Thread

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Anon needs to pee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)18:55:30 No.854171645 >be me >be fat autistic 12 year old walking home from school >have to pee >have to pee really bad 8 KB JPG >Walk into convenience store near my house >take 3 steps into the store >immediately stop and start pissing my pants >frozen with autism and cant move until| finish pissing my pants >look up >see one of those recording TVs that show you walking in >it recorded all of it >i walk out and leave behind a giant puddle of piss Mfw I am haunted by this memory most nights
: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)18:55:30 No.854171645 >be me >be fat autistic 12 year old walking home from school >have to pee >have to pee really bad 8 KB JPG >Walk into convenience store near my house >take 3 steps into the store >immediately stop and start pissing my pants >frozen with autism and cant move until| finish pissing my pants >look up >see one of those recording TVs that show you walking in >it recorded all of it >i walk out and leave behind a giant puddle of piss Mfw I am haunted by this memory most nights

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Anon is a turtle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/19(Sat)01:11:57 No.810541537 >be me >sea turtle >chilling in the reef with my wife >have to move from reef to reef for munchies >one day >chilling in the seagrass, munchin 30 KB JPG >spot massive f------ jellyfish >holyshit.jpg >swim towards it as fast as i can >finally reach the jellyfish >take a bite >w-- >its plastic >die from intestinal bloackage
: Anonymous 09/28/19(Sat)01:11:57 No.810541537 >be me >sea turtle >chilling in the reef with my wife >have to move from reef to reef for munchies >one day >chilling in the seagrass, munchin 30 KB JPG >spot massive f------ jellyfish >holyshit.jpg >swim towards it as fast as i can >finally reach the jellyfish >take a bite >w-- >its plastic >die from intestinal bloackage

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Anon is a baby killer | /r/Greentext

File: Nervous pepe jng (7 KB, 231x218) Anonymous 03/12/17(Sun)15:57:54 No.35478083 >Playing air hockey with sister's friend. >She's pregnant >Accidentally knock the puck into her stomach >Joke that I used my secret baby killing technique >She has a miscarriage.
File: Nervous pepe jng (7 KB, 231x218) Anonymous 03/12/17(Sun)15:57:54 No.35478083 >Playing air hockey with sister's friend. >She's pregnant >Accidentally knock the puck into her stomach >Joke that I used my secret baby killing technique >She has a miscarriage.

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