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Anon tries to be nice... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)22:28:01 No.9722834 >feel bad for a lonely guy in my class >invite him to a cosplay event >he shows up dressed as Fred Flintstone in blackface >he keeps screaming "I yabba dabba dindu nuffin!" 252 KB JPG This was a f------ mistake.
Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)22:28:01 No.9722834 >feel bad for a lonely guy in my class >invite him to a cosplay event >he shows up dressed as Fred Flintstone in blackface >he keeps screaming "I yabba dabba dindu nuffin!" 252 KB JPG This was a f------ mistake.

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Anon is born dumb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)21:14:04 No.842264200 >be me >retard >never done drugs once in my life >friends and family all think I smoke weed every day >boss also thinks I show 27 KB PNG up high to work >nobody believes me when I tell them l'm just f------ stupid >mfw View Thread
: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)21:14:04 No.842264200 >be me >retard >never done drugs once in my life >friends and family all think I smoke weed every day >boss also thinks I show 27 KB PNG up high to work >nobody believes me when I tell them l'm just f------ stupid >mfw View Thread

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Anon has a tasty lunch | /r/Greentext

>be me >4th grade >lunch >eating Nutella sandwich >chad: hey anon is that a poop sandwich >no...it's... 16.1 kB JPG >everyone laughs
>be me >4th grade >lunch >eating Nutella sandwich >chad: hey anon is that a poop sandwich >no...it's... 16.1 kB JPG >everyone laughs

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Anon does the math. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous B 05/12/21(Wed)15:28:46 No.63642125 >the number of women in a 10 mile radius >divide by 5 for girls roughly your age >divide again by the inverse of your looks /10 >multiply by 0 because you don't go outside 11 KB JPG O women will date me.
: Anonymous B 05/12/21(Wed)15:28:46 No.63642125 >the number of women in a 10 mile radius >divide by 5 for girls roughly your age >divide again by the inverse of your looks /10 >multiply by 0 because you don't go outside 11 KB JPG O women will date me.

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anon has a suspicion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/12/21(Wed)12:08:06 No.854258947 >woke up to my friend admitting to finding t----- p--- attractive recently >he sent some of said t----- p--- >it was all webm files I know you guys are responsible for this, f--- you 6 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/12/21(Wed)12:08:06 No.854258947 >woke up to my friend admitting to finding t----- p--- attractive recently >he sent some of said t----- p--- >it was all webm files I know you guys are responsible for this, f--- you 6 KB JPG

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Anon gets roasted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)21:08:51 No.854202562 >be me >in science class >class is getting off track because it's the end of the day >somehow in the middle of the conversation this one girl absolutely 131 КВ PNG roasts the s--- out of me >l'm embarrassed and try to just be cool until the conversation moves on >teacher looks at me and goes "you can tell he's trying to think of a comeback" >I say I'm not but the teacher has the whole class be silent and stare at me expecting a comeback >l spit out something and everyone pity claps I sill remember this years later. Mr. Jenkins if you're reading this, f--- you.
: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)21:08:51 No.854202562 >be me >in science class >class is getting off track because it's the end of the day >somehow in the middle of the conversation this one girl absolutely 131 КВ PNG roasts the s--- out of me >l'm embarrassed and try to just be cool until the conversation moves on >teacher looks at me and goes "you can tell he's trying to think of a comeback" >I say I'm not but the teacher has the whole class be silent and stare at me expecting a comeback >l spit out something and everyone pity claps I sill remember this years later. Mr. Jenkins if you're reading this, f--- you.

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Anon plays RE 8 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/12/21(Wed)17:20:55 No.555270214 >Make a Druckmann-tier s--- game with female protagonists that are actually male >lt flops and you have to buy awards for it with studio money to save face 93 KB JPG Vs >Make big tiddy characters that make everyone's peepee stand up >Sales go through the roof Do you think companies learned a lesson with this or are we still going to have to live in dark times in the future until these dense m------------ understand?
: Anonymous 05/12/21(Wed)17:20:55 No.555270214 >Make a Druckmann-tier s--- game with female protagonists that are actually male >lt flops and you have to buy awards for it with studio money to save face 93 KB JPG Vs >Make big tiddy characters that make everyone's peepee stand up >Sales go through the roof Do you think companies learned a lesson with this or are we still going to have to live in dark times in the future until these dense m------------ understand?

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Anon looks out for his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/12/21(Wed)11:50:58 No.854231194 >dad's brother died a few day ago >he starts smoking again and starts getting lightheaded a lot which caused him to fall yesterday >me and my brothers start looking out for him 84 KB JPG >one of my brothers talks to one his close friends and tells him to keep an eye on him when he is with him >dad finds out today >been shouting for the last hour or so that he "isn't gonna die" and his children are basterds for doing this i think i might choke him out today ungrateful c---
: Anonymous 05/12/21(Wed)11:50:58 No.854231194 >dad's brother died a few day ago >he starts smoking again and starts getting lightheaded a lot which caused him to fall yesterday >me and my brothers start looking out for him 84 KB JPG >one of my brothers talks to one his close friends and tells him to keep an eye on him when he is with him >dad finds out today >been shouting for the last hour or so that he "isn't gonna die" and his children are basterds for doing this i think i might choke him out today ungrateful c---

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Anon writes the plot for the new Saw | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT:We design Saw traps 01/17/21(Sun)14:00:24 No.145245004 >You're in a locked room with a snowman and a carrot >Jigsaw tells you to put the carrot where it belongs >Putting the carrot on the snowman's nose unlocks the door and sets you free 14 KB JPG >Putting the carrot on the snowman's d--- would be pretty funny but detonates a pipe bomb 10 Replies /2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous ITT:We design Saw traps 01/17/21(Sun)14:00:24 No.145245004 >You're in a locked room with a snowman and a carrot >Jigsaw tells you to put the carrot where it belongs >Putting the carrot on the snowman's nose unlocks the door and sets you free 14 KB JPG >Putting the carrot on the snowman's d--- would be pretty funny but detonates a pipe bomb 10 Replies /2 Images View Thread

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Anon gets a cat | /r/Greentext

File: cat.jpg (106 KB, 720x1273) O Anonymous 05/12/21(Wed)10:44:06 No.854247680 [Reply] Story from a long time ago >be me >be 10 >almost Christmas >mom wants to get me a cat >saw online about this trailer that had a whole bunch of cats and were giving them away for free >mom goes there >arrives at s----- trailer >probably a lot of inbreeding >mom tries to get one of the cats to come to her >only one comes to her so she choose that one >ffw a few days >Christmas Eve (I think) >mom brings a box inside >wonder what it is >hear meowing >is in love with cat >ffw a few years >be me >be 12 >live with mom and grandma >mom is usually outside smoking cigarettes or playing on her phone, so I didn't really talk to her much >grandma is always getting annoyed (Alzheimer's really changes people) >grandma is always yelling at me or squirting the cat because she didn't want the cat in the living room >only sanctuary in the house is my room >cat hangs out with me in my room because that's the only place neither of us get in trouble for >goes on for about 2 years >be me >be 14 >cat has to be put down >was in the room when they put her down >held her paw before she died >crying >I still miss her >pic related >tfw we were both nuisances to society but not to each other If there's an afterlife, I know she's waiting for me.
File: cat.jpg (106 KB, 720x1273) O Anonymous 05/12/21(Wed)10:44:06 No.854247680 [Reply] Story from a long time ago >be me >be 10 >almost Christmas >mom wants to get me a cat >saw online about this trailer that had a whole bunch of cats and were giving them away for free >mom goes there >arrives at s----- trailer >probably a lot of inbreeding >mom tries to get one of the cats to come to her >only one comes to her so she choose that one >ffw a few days >Christmas Eve (I think) >mom brings a box inside >wonder what it is >hear meowing >is in love with cat >ffw a few years >be me >be 12 >live with mom and grandma >mom is usually outside smoking cigarettes or playing on her phone, so I didn't really talk to her much >grandma is always getting annoyed (Alzheimer's really changes people) >grandma is always yelling at me or squirting the cat because she didn't want the cat in the living room >only sanctuary in the house is my room >cat hangs out with me in my room because that's the only place neither of us get in trouble for >goes on for about 2 years >be me >be 14 >cat has to be put down >was in the room when they put her down >held her paw before she died >crying >I still miss her >pic related >tfw we were both nuisances to society but not to each other If there's an afterlife, I know she's waiting for me.

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Anon spends time in his room | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/19(Sat)01:09:32 No.793887401 >be me >horny >parents go out for the day >time2jerk.jpg >link phone to tv so I can watch pornhub on tv >full volume 73 КВ PNG >jerk it with the speed and force of god himself >hollering like a tard in the back of a classroom >phonebuzz >text from dad: hey anon, I didn't go out with your mom and am in my room >mfw
: Anonymous 03/02/19(Sat)01:09:32 No.793887401 >be me >horny >parents go out for the day >time2jerk.jpg >link phone to tv so I can watch pornhub on tv >full volume 73 КВ PNG >jerk it with the speed and force of god himself >hollering like a tard in the back of a classroom >phonebuzz >text from dad: hey anon, I didn't go out with your mom and am in my room >mfw

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Anon's fiancé wants a burger | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/19(Sat)14:58:07 No.802338853 > be me > have a fiancé > kinda hot, I guess > whatever.jpg > fiancé starts bitching one day what in tarnation > "anon, I really want a burgerrrr" > ignore her because I have other 53 KB JPG things > also gets mono *next day > fiancé “pls get me a burger" > alright, let's do this >fuckyeah.jpeg > pulls into whataburger > texanfuckyeah.jpg > walk into whataburger > orders the biggest f------ burger they have > expects fiancé to get the same thing > fiancé goes "I think I'm gonna get a salad" >allmyrage.png >mfw
: Anonymous 06/15/19(Sat)14:58:07 No.802338853 > be me > have a fiancé > kinda hot, I guess > whatever.jpg > fiancé starts bitching one day what in tarnation > "anon, I really want a burgerrrr" > ignore her because I have other 53 KB JPG things > also gets mono *next day > fiancé “pls get me a burger" > alright, let's do this >fuckyeah.jpeg > pulls into whataburger > texanfuckyeah.jpg > walk into whataburger > orders the biggest f------ burger they have > expects fiancé to get the same thing > fiancé goes "I think I'm gonna get a salad" >allmyrage.png >mfw

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Anon forgets how to date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/19(Wed)17:42:29 No.50829211 this happened a few years ago >have a crush on girl >manage to get her over to my house to watch a movie >we're both on the couch watching it >she grabs my arm and wraps it 40 KB JPG around her so we're cuddled together and she starts leaning into me more >just stay like that for a while, feels good >at some point she gets up and goes to the bathroom >when she comes back to the bathroom i look up and see she doesn't have a shirt or bra on >her t------ are just... right there and she's looking right at me >brain completely freezes and i'm totally confused >i give her a f------ thumbs up and say nice t--- then go back to watching the movie >she stands there for a few seconds then goes back to the bathroom and puts her bra and shirt back on and watches the rest of the movie like nothing happened i think that is the most autistic moment in my life View Thread
: Anonymous 02/06/19(Wed)17:42:29 No.50829211 this happened a few years ago >have a crush on girl >manage to get her over to my house to watch a movie >we're both on the couch watching it >she grabs my arm and wraps it 40 KB JPG around her so we're cuddled together and she starts leaning into me more >just stay like that for a while, feels good >at some point she gets up and goes to the bathroom >when she comes back to the bathroom i look up and see she doesn't have a shirt or bra on >her t------ are just... right there and she's looking right at me >brain completely freezes and i'm totally confused >i give her a f------ thumbs up and say nice t--- then go back to watching the movie >she stands there for a few seconds then goes back to the bathroom and puts her bra and shirt back on and watches the rest of the movie like nothing happened i think that is the most autistic moment in my life View Thread

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Anon wants to go on the monkey bars | /r/Greentext

>4th grade >go to the playground during recess >want to go on the monkey bars but some bitch is just hanging off the first bar >push her off without thinking for some reason 31.7 kB JPG >she falls face first into the mulch below >she starts crying and her face is all bloody >ohfuckohfuckohfuck >l jump down and get her on her feet >I rush her to teacher supervising the playground >say that she fell off while on the monkey bars >we both rush her to the nurse's office >ambulance is called >she ends up getting like 10 stitches and a tooth removed >nurse calls me a hero for bringing her in so quickly and staying to look after her >in reality I'm just scared shitless she'll snitch on me >girl doesn't remember a thing about me pushing her >her parents thank me for helping their daughter >later during Christmas they send me a gameboy color as a gift How did you get your first gaming system anons?
>4th grade >go to the playground during recess >want to go on the monkey bars but some bitch is just hanging off the first bar >push her off without thinking for some reason 31.7 kB JPG >she falls face first into the mulch below >she starts crying and her face is all bloody >ohfuckohfuckohfuck >l jump down and get her on her feet >I rush her to teacher supervising the playground >say that she fell off while on the monkey bars >we both rush her to the nurse's office >ambulance is called >she ends up getting like 10 stitches and a tooth removed >nurse calls me a hero for bringing her in so quickly and staying to look after her >in reality I'm just scared shitless she'll snitch on me >girl doesn't remember a thing about me pushing her >her parents thank me for helping their daughter >later during Christmas they send me a gameboy color as a gift How did you get your first gaming system anons?

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Anon helps his community | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)21:51:08 No.61446634 >be me >when making protein shakes, use frozen raspberries >swallow seeds whole instead of crunching on them >s--- in the local elementary school's 191 KB PNG SOccer field >16-18 months later, they'll have delicious raspberries fresh from the bushes >Also they won't be able to play Eurofagball because of all the raspberry bushes on the field How are you bettering your community, fellow /fit/izens
I Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)21:51:08 No.61446634 >be me >when making protein shakes, use frozen raspberries >swallow seeds whole instead of crunching on them >s--- in the local elementary school's 191 KB PNG SOccer field >16-18 months later, they'll have delicious raspberries fresh from the bushes >Also they won't be able to play Eurofagball because of all the raspberry bushes on the field How are you bettering your community, fellow /fit/izens

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OP goes to a burger bar | /r/Greentext

F------ HIP! No.16084929 2 days ago 30b2d6fc8144872ab2fc4bc5f8391fa1--hipster-meme-hi pster-stuff.jpg JPG 11.0 KiB 236x133 >your friend talks you into a cool new burger joint downtown. >the outdoor seating is made of repurposed barn wood >Edison lights throughout the interior >your waiter, Gabe, is 6'2" and 120lbs, 10% of that mass appears to be beard. >his suspenders and wire frame bifocals offend your sensibilities in ways you can't describe >their craft beer list is 28 beers long >25 of them are IPAS >the cheapest burger is $15.95 >all the beef is from a rare heirloom breed of cattle found only on three ranches in Manitoba. >you take a bite of your burger. >pure liquid smoke 12 replies
F------ HIP! No.16084929 2 days ago 30b2d6fc8144872ab2fc4bc5f8391fa1--hipster-meme-hi pster-stuff.jpg JPG 11.0 KiB 236x133 >your friend talks you into a cool new burger joint downtown. >the outdoor seating is made of repurposed barn wood >Edison lights throughout the interior >your waiter, Gabe, is 6'2" and 120lbs, 10% of that mass appears to be beard. >his suspenders and wire frame bifocals offend your sensibilities in ways you can't describe >their craft beer list is 28 beers long >25 of them are IPAS >the cheapest burger is $15.95 >all the beef is from a rare heirloom breed of cattle found only on three ranches in Manitoba. >you take a bite of your burger. >pure liquid smoke 12 replies

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Anon is a loser | /r/Greentext

File: fishey.jpg (12 KB, 259x194) O Anonymous 05/12/21(Wed)16:51:46 No.854244697 > if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid > pic related What's up, losers
File: fishey.jpg (12 KB, 259x194) O Anonymous 05/12/21(Wed)16:51:46 No.854244697 > if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid > pic related What's up, losers

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anon can't tell the difference | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: F9X6LMr5) ) 07/04/20(Sat)18:28:52 No.266387266 I've been commenting on women's pictures congratulating them on how their transition is going. It usually hits quite a nerve when you 'mistake' them for a t-----. Best part of it is when they get too offended over it I call 259 KB GIF them out as transphobic. How am i supposed to know the difference between biological females and MtF females if trans women are women too? Them telling me it should be obvious is clearly just bigoted hate speech. >>266388397 # >>266389209 # >>266391177 # >>266391933 # >>266392266 # >>266392302 # >>266392911 #
: Anonymous (ID: F9X6LMr5) ) 07/04/20(Sat)18:28:52 No.266387266 I've been commenting on women's pictures congratulating them on how their transition is going. It usually hits quite a nerve when you 'mistake' them for a t-----. Best part of it is when they get too offended over it I call 259 KB GIF them out as transphobic. How am i supposed to know the difference between biological females and MtF females if trans women are women too? Them telling me it should be obvious is clearly just bigoted hate speech. >>266388397 # >>266389209 # >>266391177 # >>266391933 # >>266392266 # >>266392302 # >>266392911 #

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Anon lives in a clown world | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How did we get here? 05/03/21 (Mon)04:34:42 No.63493603 >Low effort trap music with generic love song lyrics is considered groundbreaking and revolutionary >Racism is "okay" if it's towards white people 245 KB PNG >Talking on the Internet now feels more restricted than talking in real life os just for calling a >People are treated like war p-------- a dumb dumb stinky fart online >Cringe culture >Everybody thinks they're a professional critic if they get a lot of likes >Witch hunting is now called "cancelling" and is considered good >Stalking is now called "stanning" and is considered good >People are literally dying because of people fighting for biased social justice >Every fictional character needs to have a specified sexuality >Youtube is worse than actual TV >Politics are actually everywhere now >People become gay because it's trendy and not because they want to >Freedom of expression is "encouraged" but not if your expression isn't trendy
: Anonymous How did we get here? 05/03/21 (Mon)04:34:42 No.63493603 >Low effort trap music with generic love song lyrics is considered groundbreaking and revolutionary >Racism is "okay" if it's towards white people 245 KB PNG >Talking on the Internet now feels more restricted than talking in real life os just for calling a >People are treated like war p-------- a dumb dumb stinky fart online >Cringe culture >Everybody thinks they're a professional critic if they get a lot of likes >Witch hunting is now called "cancelling" and is considered good >Stalking is now called "stanning" and is considered good >People are literally dying because of people fighting for biased social justice >Every fictional character needs to have a specified sexuality >Youtube is worse than actual TV >Politics are actually everywhere now >People become gay because it's trendy and not because they want to >Freedom of expression is "encouraged" but not if your expression isn't trendy

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Anon actually is an autist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)22:40:27 No.8030973 >Be me >born around 2lbs AUTISTIC AUTISM CHILD AREA MAPRTAN >survive that >pull out my oxygen tube and turn purple >nurse puts it back in 308 KB PNG >almost spawn killed myself >gets autism instead
: Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)22:40:27 No.8030973 >Be me >born around 2lbs AUTISTIC AUTISM CHILD AREA MAPRTAN >survive that >pull out my oxygen tube and turn purple >nurse puts it back in 308 KB PNG >almost spawn killed myself >gets autism instead

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