Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon hacks women…. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)22:39:51 No.855043524 >be me >fat, ugly uneducated NEET >inherit $70k from dead dad >find gorgeous 10/10 egg donor on surrogate website >buy bitches' egg >spend the rest of the money on 275 KB JPG surrogate mother to birth the child >immediately put it up for adoption because I don't actually want it >the mother would never touch me, but I have a kid with her HAHA F--- women
: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)22:39:51 No.855043524 >be me >fat, ugly uneducated NEET >inherit $70k from dead dad >find gorgeous 10/10 egg donor on surrogate website >buy bitches' egg >spend the rest of the money on 275 KB JPG surrogate mother to birth the child >immediately put it up for adoption because I don't actually want it >the mother would never touch me, but I have a kid with her HAHA F--- women

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is a sociopath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Womanlet Revenge 10/17/17(Tue)20:20:28 No.40480576 >See constant threads about girls s------- on manlets on /r9k/ >Be 6ft 2in white guy >Be borderline sociopathic, barely have any empathy >Use Tinder and match with only 53 KB PNG really short girls >Exclusively seek out shorter girls (5ft 4in or below) >Talk to them and casually bring about short guys >if any of them talk s--- about manlets or say they're gross, I start pursuing them harder >Ask them out with the promise of sex >Take a small bottle of mustard water and hide it in my jacket >Go to the roastie w----- place >Make out or whatever and then right before we're about to f--- ask to be excused and go to the bathroom >down the mustard water >go back to see her >hold back the vomit >When their clothes come off I immediately start vomiting all over and spray it as much as I can >roastie is horrified >I tell them I find their shortness disgusting and I feel l'd be f------ a child >I leave telling them they shouldnt date tall guys and to stick to manlets I've successfully done this 10 times in the last 6 months. They always end up crying or freaking out and I j------- to that thought when I get home. I'm doing this for you my manlet brothers, its not your fault you didn't have the genetic lottery. F--- those roastie w-----. 73 Replies / 21 Images View Thread
: Anonymous Womanlet Revenge 10/17/17(Tue)20:20:28 No.40480576 >See constant threads about girls s------- on manlets on /r9k/ >Be 6ft 2in white guy >Be borderline sociopathic, barely have any empathy >Use Tinder and match with only 53 KB PNG really short girls >Exclusively seek out shorter girls (5ft 4in or below) >Talk to them and casually bring about short guys >if any of them talk s--- about manlets or say they're gross, I start pursuing them harder >Ask them out with the promise of sex >Take a small bottle of mustard water and hide it in my jacket >Go to the roastie w----- place >Make out or whatever and then right before we're about to f--- ask to be excused and go to the bathroom >down the mustard water >go back to see her >hold back the vomit >When their clothes come off I immediately start vomiting all over and spray it as much as I can >roastie is horrified >I tell them I find their shortness disgusting and I feel l'd be f------ a child >I leave telling them they shouldnt date tall guys and to stick to manlets I've successfully done this 10 times in the last 6 months. They always end up crying or freaking out and I j------- to that thought when I get home. I'm doing this for you my manlet brothers, its not your fault you didn't have the genetic lottery. F--- those roastie w-----. 73 Replies / 21 Images View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Based anon | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Have job >Been working there for almost 4 years >Apply to new job >Have interview >lt goes well. They call in less than an hour after the interview and offer me a job, paying about 7K more than my current job >Tell work I'm leaving >They call me 20 minutes later and offer me a 10K raise to stay >mfw I now make an additional 10K a year >mfw I work remotely and do nothing all day but play vidya >mfw my master plan fell into place seamlessly because I just wanted more money and would never leave the eternal comfy of permanent "remote work." How can one man be so based?
>Be me >Have job >Been working there for almost 4 years >Apply to new job >Have interview >lt goes well. They call in less than an hour after the interview and offer me a job, paying about 7K more than my current job >Tell work I'm leaving >They call me 20 minutes later and offer me a 10K raise to stay >mfw I now make an additional 10K a year >mfw I work remotely and do nothing all day but play vidya >mfw my master plan fell into place seamlessly because I just wanted more money and would never leave the eternal comfy of permanent "remote work." How can one man be so based?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon needs some help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)19:31:06 No.63786587 What weighs more. >An infinte ammount of 1kg m weights >An infinite ammount of 500 gram weights 49 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)19:31:06 No.63786587 What weighs more. >An infinte ammount of 1kg m weights >An infinite ammount of 500 gram weights 49 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font

Anon is done for | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Heart pains 05/22/21(Sat)13:25:00 No.63782206 >go to bed >you have a gripping pain in your chest >it spreads to the left side of your neck isa ukko >can't sleep 17 KB JPG Guys am I gonna have a frickin heart attack? I made a thread about this yesterday and a medanon told me it's all good if it's not in my neck. Well it is. I don't even drink or smoke REE : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)15:07:38 No.63783066 >might have a heart attack >better post on 4chan I hope it kills you
: Anonymous Heart pains 05/22/21(Sat)13:25:00 No.63782206 >go to bed >you have a gripping pain in your chest >it spreads to the left side of your neck isa ukko >can't sleep 17 KB JPG Guys am I gonna have a frickin heart attack? I made a thread about this yesterday and a medanon told me it's all good if it's not in my neck. Well it is. I don't even drink or smoke REE : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)15:07:38 No.63783066 >might have a heart attack >better post on 4chan I hope it kills you

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon has a job | /r/Greentext

FBI CDI > be me > Work for 3 letter goveYOment agenCY > Have to take hour long classes on how to shitpost on 4chan > Get paid a 6 digit income to watch you yetards > Get nice lunch courtesy of the catering > After 9 hoUYS go home to apartment (not married, don't+ care about bUYing a house) > Play Titanfall 2 until 1am, go to sleep, get into work at 9am, and shitpost for 9 hours again. wece
FBI CDI > be me > Work for 3 letter goveYOment agenCY > Have to take hour long classes on how to shitpost on 4chan > Get paid a 6 digit income to watch you yetards > Get nice lunch courtesy of the catering > After 9 hoUYS go home to apartment (not married, don't+ care about bUYing a house) > Play Titanfall 2 until 1am, go to sleep, get into work at 9am, and shitpost for 9 hours again. wece

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext cartoon

Anon's dad self defends | /r/Greentext

The day I lost faith on the justice system The day I lost faith on the ju(...) 05/22/21(Sat)19:40:30 No.63793182 > My dad is minding his own business > Some thug wannabe pulls a knife on him and tells him to give him all of his money > My dad throws his wallet in front of him > Once the thug gets distracted to pick it up, my dad hits him with a tire iron in the 19 KB GIF head > The thug passes out > My dad calls the cops and the ambulance > Mfw the judge doesn't count it as self defense because "the thug hadn't attempted to use the knife on him" > Mfw the thug dies of craneal fracture and internal bleeding on the ambulance > Mfw my dad is judged like a murderer and jailed This happened 4 years ago, and I still have not regained trust in the justice system, remember, cops and judges aren't your friends : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)19:48:59 No.63793314 >>63793182 (OP) # This just tells me that if I kill someone in self defense I should bury their body in the back yard and pretend it never happened.
The day I lost faith on the justice system The day I lost faith on the ju(...) 05/22/21(Sat)19:40:30 No.63793182 > My dad is minding his own business > Some thug wannabe pulls a knife on him and tells him to give him all of his money > My dad throws his wallet in front of him > Once the thug gets distracted to pick it up, my dad hits him with a tire iron in the 19 KB GIF head > The thug passes out > My dad calls the cops and the ambulance > Mfw the judge doesn't count it as self defense because "the thug hadn't attempted to use the knife on him" > Mfw the thug dies of craneal fracture and internal bleeding on the ambulance > Mfw my dad is judged like a murderer and jailed This happened 4 years ago, and I still have not regained trust in the justice system, remember, cops and judges aren't your friends : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)19:48:59 No.63793314 >>63793182 (OP) # This just tells me that if I kill someone in self defense I should bury their body in the back yard and pretend it never happened.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font material property

anon loves Lola | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/26/17(Sun)00:14:33 No.90234969 File: tumblr_Iq86s0gGsE1ql1mqeo(...).jpg (481 KB, 1280x960) >>90235149 >>90236275 >>90236962 Guess what I'm going to do tonight, /co/... NUVEMBER 15 DEANY Dortos Cheetos Lola Bunny CHIC U Anonymous 02/26/17(Sun)00:58:45 No.90236962 File: 1486857967496.jpg (99 KB, 970x990) >>90234969 >Reverse image search >0 results found
Anonymous 02/26/17(Sun)00:14:33 No.90234969 File: tumblr_Iq86s0gGsE1ql1mqeo(...).jpg (481 KB, 1280x960) >>90235149 >>90236275 >>90236962 Guess what I'm going to do tonight, /co/... NUVEMBER 15 DEANY Dortos Cheetos Lola Bunny CHIC U Anonymous 02/26/17(Sun)00:58:45 No.90236962 File: 1486857967496.jpg (99 KB, 970x990) >>90234969 >Reverse image search >0 results found

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext head product eyelash doll toy font

Anon is an anatomist | /r/Greentext

File: b37c36cb89fcaac7286flab0f.-).jpg (134 KB, 736x1472) Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)22:24:03 No.855050527 [Reply] ► >eat food >??? >s--- comes out Do you retards actually believe this?
File: b37c36cb89fcaac7286flab0f.-).jpg (134 KB, 736x1472) Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)22:24:03 No.855050527 [Reply] ► >eat food >??? >s--- comes out Do you retards actually believe this?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext gesture font

Anon visits the rapist | /r/Greentext

>tell therapist I'm virgin >she laughs 62 KB JPG
>tell therapist I'm virgin >she laughs 62 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext gesture font

Anon online vs outside | /r/Greentext

>come to this board >get filled with bitterness & hatred >actually go outside & interact with people >all of that anger fades away and I feel happy again 72 KB GIF
>come to this board >get filled with bitterness & hatred >actually go outside & interact with people >all of that anger fades away and I feel happy again 72 KB GIF

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext plant rectangle grass font

Anon fell for the meme | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)22:41:52 No.4417164 /biz/ lied to me. I lost 1,000 dollars in Crypto thanks to them. 345 KB JPG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)23:08:34 No.4417268 >he went to /biz/ for financial advice 1.48 MB GIF
: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)22:41:52 No.4417164 /biz/ lied to me. I lost 1,000 dollars in Crypto thanks to them. 345 KB JPG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)23:08:34 No.4417268 >he went to /biz/ for financial advice 1.48 MB GIF

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext nose chin product jaw font screenshot

Anon had a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)18:17:43 No.63786467 >Dream about s------- yourself >Wake up, clean sheets Hell yeah 257 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)18:17:43 No.63786467 >Dream about s------- yourself >Wake up, clean sheets Hell yeah 257 KB PNG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font

Anon tells a story this story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me 353 KB PNG >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me 353 KB PNG >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext goggles terrestrial plant

Anon protects his virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)15:48:41 No.849117527 >be me >Halloween a few years back >Go as a mf wizard >Blue wizard hat w stars and moons n s--- >Blue snuggie i glued velvet stars and moons to >Gettin all the mires from the qts >"Wow anon i love ur costume" >"Thats such a creative costume" >Bitches tryna talk to me all night >Commence festive holiday drinking >See a guy dressed as chef boyardee >Hes got a sack of chef boyardee raviolis >bet him 5 bucks i can chug an entire can of ravioli >He says hes only got 4 dollars >Crack the raviolis and chug like theres no tomorrow >No need to chew, theyre basically lil jello shots >All the females around are now officially disgusted >Disregard females, acquire a free meal and 4 dollarydoos >All the guys at the party now call my the ravioli wizard
: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)15:48:41 No.849117527 >be me >Halloween a few years back >Go as a mf wizard >Blue wizard hat w stars and moons n s--- >Blue snuggie i glued velvet stars and moons to >Gettin all the mires from the qts >"Wow anon i love ur costume" >"Thats such a creative costume" >Bitches tryna talk to me all night >Commence festive holiday drinking >See a guy dressed as chef boyardee >Hes got a sack of chef boyardee raviolis >bet him 5 bucks i can chug an entire can of ravioli >He says hes only got 4 dollars >Crack the raviolis and chug like theres no tomorrow >No need to chew, theyre basically lil jello shots >All the females around are now officially disgusted >Disregard females, acquire a free meal and 4 dollarydoos >All the guys at the party now call my the ravioli wizard

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon makes a thread | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:01:23 No.9231307 >make thread >no one replies >pull out my phone and reply to my thread 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:04:06 No.9231311 totally man haha good thread dude >>9231316 #
: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:01:23 No.9231307 >make thread >no one replies >pull out my phone and reply to my thread 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:04:06 No.9231311 totally man haha good thread dude >>9231316 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font

Anon spilled the beans | /r/Greentext

Fil 20210320 092807.jpg (733 KB, 2002x2744) O Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)09:24:03 No.850057761 >be me >uncle visits >he's wearing a Navy hat >blert out "oh you're in the Navy? I'm homosexual too" >mfw
Fil 20210320 092807.jpg (733 KB, 2002x2744) O Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)09:24:03 No.850057761 >be me >uncle visits >he's wearing a Navy hat >blert out "oh you're in the Navy? I'm homosexual too" >mfw

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext cat vertebrate felidae organism carnivore small to medium-sized cats

Anon laughs at fatties | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" >mfw 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:31:06 No.47665705 so dont be fat you fat idiot
: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" >mfw 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:31:06 No.47665705 so dont be fat you fat idiot

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext vertebrate true frog

anon is a scientist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/27/12(Wed)14:36:16 No.2904482 >dad is shaving >'don't touch it anon, it is sharp, you will cut your finger' >dad leaves >is it true? must test hypothesis. >climb onto counter, test razor with finger >cut finger, ow f--- >hypothesis confirmed >one must suffer in pursuit of science
Anonymous 06/27/12(Wed)14:36:16 No.2904482 >dad is shaving >'don't touch it anon, it is sharp, you will cut your finger' >dad leaves >is it true? must test hypothesis. >climb onto counter, test razor with finger >cut finger, ow f--- >hypothesis confirmed >one must suffer in pursuit of science

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext rectangle organism font violet

Anon struggles with captchas | /r/Greentext

05/22/21(Sat)13:21:32 No.63783971 : Anonymous i might be stupid >be me >decided to come make post >fail first captcha >try again >cant find third traktor >cant find third boat 88 KB JPG >panic >close 4cuan >take deep breaths >come back >forgot what was gonna post >mfw
05/22/21(Sat)13:21:32 No.63783971 : Anonymous i might be stupid >be me >decided to come make post >fail first captcha >try again >cant find third traktor >cant find third boat 88 KB JPG >panic >close 4cuan >take deep breaths >come back >forgot what was gonna post >mfw

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant