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Anon drops his disgusting amalgamation of gluttony | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a retard savant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)17:14:15 No.855313589 >be me >college loser >in a math-heavy program >have exam coming up >barely study >smoke weed and eat churros 27 KB JPG >exam time comes, get 16% >not a typo, I somehow got 16% >prof has a policy where he'll change how exams are written if class average is under 65% >announces that the majority of the class passed but due to a few outliers, the class average was 64.2 and next exam will be open book >realize I'm a f------ hero >smoke weed and eat churros What have you guys done for your community lately?
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)17:14:15 No.855313589 >be me >college loser >in a math-heavy program >have exam coming up >barely study >smoke weed and eat churros 27 KB JPG >exam time comes, get 16% >not a typo, I somehow got 16% >prof has a policy where he'll change how exams are written if class average is under 65% >announces that the majority of the class passed but due to a few outliers, the class average was 64.2 and next exam will be open book >realize I'm a f------ hero >smoke weed and eat churros What have you guys done for your community lately?

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The holy grail of porn finds | /r/Greentext

>470059379470061165470064012 >be me >fap time >browsing p--- websites >end up finding a hot video of some dude ramming a hot ass girl >ICanWorthWithThis.jpg >fapping >getting close >zooms in on girls face >i Stop stop >pause the video >holy f---..thats my best friends mom >im 100% sure of it too, I can tell by the voice and the face, ive seen younger pics of her around his house too, he told me she did some "modeling" when she was younger but its all long gone now, i always suspected it was p--- (she told him when she was drunk) >holy f--- >finish >devise plan (said friend had pranked me by moving my car and having me think it was stolen for hours) >revenge.jpg >download video, cut out all parts of face close ups >distort audio slightly so voices sound different >send to my friend via email >he thanks me >5 hours later he tells me he just used it, its a great video >literally dying of laughter >keep my mouth shut, go over to his place next day to break the news to him >he tells me the vid is awesome (actually a really hot video) and he used it again >literally >he asks me what start crying laughing >i go online and show him full vid, fast forward >"you just fapped to ur mom bro" >he freezes, hes in shock, ends up coming to terms with it and runs to the bathroom and pukes >hes f------ p----- but im laughing uncontrollably >funniest moment of my life fac up >to add "oh very funny anon, f--- you" >i go >actually was..strange coincidence >he says f--- you again then freezes She slowly walks to computer >fast forwards to close up of males face >the male is Hispanic and he is half hispanic >the video is a c------- video to injury i jokingly say i found ur dad (his dad left before his birth, he has pictures of him but never met him, he jokes about it to lighten the situation) "see dude it was made the same year u were born!!" >he runs out and grabs a picture of his dad (picture is from when his mom was pregnant, he left on the 8th month of pregnancy) >holds it next to screen >f--- >f--- >bricks shat >lts his f------ dad >the resemblance is too close to not be..same hairstyle same looks same color skin >w-- >l immediately feel like a piece of f------ s--- >l just revealed to my closest bro his birth was a p---- gone wrong >he starts to cry >leaves room and grabs mom >pulls her in >she freezes at site of video >she starts to cry >lt was true..he f------ just fapped to his conception >l apologize, don't even know what to say
>470059379470061165470064012 >be me >fap time >browsing p--- websites >end up finding a hot video of some dude ramming a hot ass girl >ICanWorthWithThis.jpg >fapping >getting close >zooms in on girls face >i Stop stop >pause the video >holy f---..thats my best friends mom >im 100% sure of it too, I can tell by the voice and the face, ive seen younger pics of her around his house too, he told me she did some "modeling" when she was younger but its all long gone now, i always suspected it was p--- (she told him when she was drunk) >holy f--- >finish >devise plan (said friend had pranked me by moving my car and having me think it was stolen for hours) >revenge.jpg >download video, cut out all parts of face close ups >distort audio slightly so voices sound different >send to my friend via email >he thanks me >5 hours later he tells me he just used it, its a great video >literally dying of laughter >keep my mouth shut, go over to his place next day to break the news to him >he tells me the vid is awesome (actually a really hot video) and he used it again >literally >he asks me what start crying laughing >i go online and show him full vid, fast forward >"you just fapped to ur mom bro" >he freezes, hes in shock, ends up coming to terms with it and runs to the bathroom and pukes >hes f------ p----- but im laughing uncontrollably >funniest moment of my life fac up >to add "oh very funny anon, f--- you" >i go >actually was..strange coincidence >he says f--- you again then freezes She slowly walks to computer >fast forwards to close up of males face >the male is Hispanic and he is half hispanic >the video is a c------- video to injury i jokingly say i found ur dad (his dad left before his birth, he has pictures of him but never met him, he jokes about it to lighten the situation) "see dude it was made the same year u were born!!" >he runs out and grabs a picture of his dad (picture is from when his mom was pregnant, he left on the 8th month of pregnancy) >holds it next to screen >f--- >f--- >bricks shat >lts his f------ dad >the resemblance is too close to not be..same hairstyle same looks same color skin >w-- >l immediately feel like a piece of f------ s--- >l just revealed to my closest bro his birth was a p---- gone wrong >he starts to cry >leaves room and grabs mom >pulls her in >she freezes at site of video >she starts to cry >lt was true..he f------ just fapped to his conception >l apologize, don't even know what to say

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Anon retard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/24/20(Thu)15:55:31 No.61536939 >be me, family over for Christmas Eve >grandpa comes over too, he's sort of a nerd and loves older comic books 30 KB JPG >go to my room because I want to be alone >start watching Attack on Titan and hear a knock at the door >"hey anon, whatcha up to?", it's my grandpa >decide he's nerd enough that he would get anime >start showing him attack on titan and explaining lore and showing off figures i have >he looks super interested and smiles a lot and eventually leaves >mfw later overhear him asking my mom if i have any learning disabilities
: Anonymous 12/24/20(Thu)15:55:31 No.61536939 >be me, family over for Christmas Eve >grandpa comes over too, he's sort of a nerd and loves older comic books 30 KB JPG >go to my room because I want to be alone >start watching Attack on Titan and hear a knock at the door >"hey anon, whatcha up to?", it's my grandpa >decide he's nerd enough that he would get anime >start showing him attack on titan and explaining lore and showing off figures i have >he looks super interested and smiles a lot and eventually leaves >mfw later overhear him asking my mom if i have any learning disabilities

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Anon is legally blind | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Colorblind >Decide to make greentext >How did I do guys
>Be me >Colorblind >Decide to make greentext >How did I do guys

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Anon on the root of his degeneracy. | /r/Greentext


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Teacher doesn't like anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)06:24:41 No.851663505 > be in middle school English period > was told to write a word starting with the letter "g" and many syllables as possible > cannot repeat words 430 KB PNG > my turn >mind started to race as I feel judgmental stares > wrote "Gobbledygook" > classmates laughed > teacher said, "Don't make up words, anon" > everyone mocked my vocabulary for the rest of the day > went home and found dictionary > next day showed it to the teacher that it exists > rather than explaining it to the class, teacher replied, "Stop being a sore loser." >mfw Also, I scored a 98% in the final English exam yet my English grade on my report card was a C.
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)06:24:41 No.851663505 > be in middle school English period > was told to write a word starting with the letter "g" and many syllables as possible > cannot repeat words 430 KB PNG > my turn >mind started to race as I feel judgmental stares > wrote "Gobbledygook" > classmates laughed > teacher said, "Don't make up words, anon" > everyone mocked my vocabulary for the rest of the day > went home and found dictionary > next day showed it to the teacher that it exists > rather than explaining it to the class, teacher replied, "Stop being a sore loser." >mfw Also, I scored a 98% in the final English exam yet my English grade on my report card was a C.

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Thank you /pol/ | /r/Greentext


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Anon watches anime with his sister

: Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)08:00:03 No.222752455 You're not my brother! Cuterino.png 149 KB PNG >things made in the early 2010s are now considered "old" i tried watching oreimo with my little sister and she said she hated the way it looks cause it looks old | Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)08:02:20 No.222752504 >>222752455 (OP) # >i tried watching oreimo with my little sister Anon, do you have something you wanna tell us?
: Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)08:00:03 No.222752455 You're not my brother! Cuterino.png 149 KB PNG >things made in the early 2010s are now considered "old" i tried watching oreimo with my little sister and she said she hated the way it looks cause it looks old | Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)08:02:20 No.222752504 >>222752455 (OP) # >i tried watching oreimo with my little sister Anon, do you have something you wanna tell us?

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Anon uses tinder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)22:46:08 No.842434393 >download tinder >every girl looks about the same >they all have stupid bios >every match I get acts like they're too good for me > finally have enough of the b------- >start trolling for the fun of it seeing 267 KB PNG as I got nowhere before >act like a complete a------ >put pics up of me in my buddies C63 AMG >pictures of me leaning on the car etc >put job down as lawyer >lie saying I live in a rich neighborhood >post pics of a random pool with a view >start matching like crazy >girls message me first everytime >a lot asking about the car >be a d--- and tell them their t--- aren't big enough to ride in it they aren't pretty enough to be seen in it etc. >a lot of them respond with lols and laughing emojis remaining friendly >tell me how funny I am >some offer to suck my d---/ f--- me in the car or by "my pool" >realize how awesome life could be if I had money >get depressed >realize what a loser I am >this back fired tremendously
: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)22:46:08 No.842434393 >download tinder >every girl looks about the same >they all have stupid bios >every match I get acts like they're too good for me > finally have enough of the b------- >start trolling for the fun of it seeing 267 KB PNG as I got nowhere before >act like a complete a------ >put pics up of me in my buddies C63 AMG >pictures of me leaning on the car etc >put job down as lawyer >lie saying I live in a rich neighborhood >post pics of a random pool with a view >start matching like crazy >girls message me first everytime >a lot asking about the car >be a d--- and tell them their t--- aren't big enough to ride in it they aren't pretty enough to be seen in it etc. >a lot of them respond with lols and laughing emojis remaining friendly >tell me how funny I am >some offer to suck my d---/ f--- me in the car or by "my pool" >realize how awesome life could be if I had money >get depressed >realize what a loser I am >this back fired tremendously

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Anon had a thot mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon is Palestinian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)12:14:42 No.855263869 >be me NR >palestinian >see some army bois up on hill 30 KB JPG >dying of thirst bc it's the f------ desert >hopefully they'll help me >die >not from thirst.
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)12:14:42 No.855263869 >be me NR >palestinian >see some army bois up on hill 30 KB JPG >dying of thirst bc it's the f------ desert >hopefully they'll help me >die >not from thirst.

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Anon likes ribs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)14:51:13 No.855269275 >be me >eating ribs at 8 in the morning >be you >not eating ribs at 8 in the morning Why live? 69 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)14:51:13 No.855269275 >be me >eating ribs at 8 in the morning >be you >not eating ribs at 8 in the morning Why live? 69 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon runs. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)17:30:26 No.855269660 >be me >Autistic, kissless virgin 18y/o >Decide to lose virginity >Find a h----- >F---- her >Tried a---, felt weird. >Me and h----- finished f------ 21 KB JPG >She went to the toilet to clean up >Laying down on bed while rubbing c--- >Toilet door opened >Saw h-----'s body on floor with blood >Heard small giggle >Deep, hoarse voice >S--- >The r--- dwarf have arrived. >Run.
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)17:30:26 No.855269660 >be me >Autistic, kissless virgin 18y/o >Decide to lose virginity >Find a h----- >F---- her >Tried a---, felt weird. >Me and h----- finished f------ 21 KB JPG >She went to the toilet to clean up >Laying down on bed while rubbing c--- >Toilet door opened >Saw h-----'s body on floor with blood >Heard small giggle >Deep, hoarse voice >S--- >The r--- dwarf have arrived. >Run.

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Femanon regrets her decision | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)13:21:07 No.855266163 >be me, femanon, 19 >thriving off male attention, especially from simps >meet a chubby edgelord, not my type at all >cute though, so funny >"why would a girl like you be into 204 KB JPG someone like me?" >talking for months, I really like him >cut off the simps >commit to him >long term relationship for 4 years >"i'm going to marry you someday, anon" >he cheats >forgive him, get back together >i love him >he cheats again, with a t----- >"i'm pansexual" >they/them pronouns in bio >"would you still love me if I wanted to be a girl" >break up for good this time >suicidal, still love him >he cries in my dms daily >"i'll change for you anon, it'll be different this time" Should've just f----- some chads for the past 4+ years. I would feel as empty as I do now but I would have had better orgasms. You give an ugly guy a chance and this is what they do.
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)13:21:07 No.855266163 >be me, femanon, 19 >thriving off male attention, especially from simps >meet a chubby edgelord, not my type at all >cute though, so funny >"why would a girl like you be into 204 KB JPG someone like me?" >talking for months, I really like him >cut off the simps >commit to him >long term relationship for 4 years >"i'm going to marry you someday, anon" >he cheats >forgive him, get back together >i love him >he cheats again, with a t----- >"i'm pansexual" >they/them pronouns in bio >"would you still love me if I wanted to be a girl" >break up for good this time >suicidal, still love him >he cries in my dms daily >"i'll change for you anon, it'll be different this time" Should've just f----- some chads for the past 4+ years. I would feel as empty as I do now but I would have had better orgasms. You give an ugly guy a chance and this is what they do.

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Polish be like | /r/Greentext


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Anon understands math | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)09:16:12 No.62356259 >read provided course math textbook >be hopelessly confused, not even begin to understand >go to 2 hr class, lose track in 5 minutes 267 KB PNG >go home and copy paste homework instructions into youtube >understand how to do it in 5 minutes
: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)09:16:12 No.62356259 >read provided course math textbook >be hopelessly confused, not even begin to understand >go to 2 hr class, lose track in 5 minutes 267 KB PNG >go home and copy paste homework instructions into youtube >understand how to do it in 5 minutes

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It's 1 year anniversary of george floyd's death | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 04/27/21(Tue)03:00:56 No.63399653 >it's another "waaah I wanna kill myself but it's too hard, someone please tell me the easiest way to commit suicide" thread 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)03:03:23 No.63399677 Just stop breathing f----- 248 KB JPG >>63399724 #
: Anonymous E 04/27/21(Tue)03:00:56 No.63399653 >it's another "waaah I wanna kill myself but it's too hard, someone please tell me the easiest way to commit suicide" thread 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)03:03:23 No.63399677 Just stop breathing f----- 248 KB JPG >>63399724 #

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Anon's motivation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Short greentext story for you (...) 05/25/21(Tue)12:09:11 No.63831544 22.jpg 22 KB JPG >be me >watching p--- where 4 ugly guys f--- 5 attractive japanese girls >think to myself "if they can be so unattractive and f--- attractive girls, so can i" >ffw 2 hours or so >watching video on "signs you're attractive even if you don't think so" >mfw i don't fit into any of their described "signs" >mfw p--- boosted my confidence and a video that was supposed to show me that i'm attractive lowered my confidence
: Anonymous Short greentext story for you (...) 05/25/21(Tue)12:09:11 No.63831544 22.jpg 22 KB JPG >be me >watching p--- where 4 ugly guys f--- 5 attractive japanese girls >think to myself "if they can be so unattractive and f--- attractive girls, so can i" >ffw 2 hours or so >watching video on "signs you're attractive even if you don't think so" >mfw i don't fit into any of their described "signs" >mfw p--- boosted my confidence and a video that was supposed to show me that i'm attractive lowered my confidence

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Anon has a good cousin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)22:38:34 No.63830961 The closest I ever came. >staying the night at my older, big tiddy cousin's house >sleeping in her room >figure l'll be sleeping on the floor >lie on the floor 38 KB JPG >"Anon, what are you doing? You can sleep in my bed with me." >0-ok >get in bed with her >literally cannot sleep unless I j------- >wait for her to fall asleep >silently j------- >about to finish >she reaches over me and grabs a tissue from her night stand >"here" >t-thanks >coom >clean up and throw tissue away >embarrassed for the rest of the night We never talked about it, but her and I were always super close and are still super close.
: Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)22:38:34 No.63830961 The closest I ever came. >staying the night at my older, big tiddy cousin's house >sleeping in her room >figure l'll be sleeping on the floor >lie on the floor 38 KB JPG >"Anon, what are you doing? You can sleep in my bed with me." >0-ok >get in bed with her >literally cannot sleep unless I j------- >wait for her to fall asleep >silently j------- >about to finish >she reaches over me and grabs a tissue from her night stand >"here" >t-thanks >coom >clean up and throw tissue away >embarrassed for the rest of the night We never talked about it, but her and I were always super close and are still super close.

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