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Anon and His Horse-Like Antics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)03:11:00 No.853300986 >be me >learn that horses smack their cocks against their stomachs to get off >try it myself >pretty easy with my 16 inch SJW beater >go on for an hour >sounds like blacks beating their drums >can be heard over a half a mile radius 96 KB JPG >c-- gallons >be you >can't smack their cocks against their stomachs >beta bitch : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)03:28:09 No.853301834 >>853300986 (OP) # >c--- in own face >"yeah, this will show them"
: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)03:11:00 No.853300986 >be me >learn that horses smack their cocks against their stomachs to get off >try it myself >pretty easy with my 16 inch SJW beater >go on for an hour >sounds like blacks beating their drums >can be heard over a half a mile radius 96 KB JPG >c-- gallons >be you >can't smack their cocks against their stomachs >beta bitch : Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)03:28:09 No.853301834 >>853300986 (OP) # >c--- in own face >"yeah, this will show them"

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Anon’s crush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:41:35 No.855368716 Neuron activation >be me >be 10 >school field trip >girl I really like sits next to me >not much later she's leaning on Monkey sees action my trying to sleep >thisisit.jpg 89 KB JPG >skip 3 more years >ask about the trip >truth is anon, I actually also really liked you >we cuddle for the rest of the day She dumps me next day because she's not ready for a relationships yet" and now she's asexual. | Where did I go wrong?
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:41:35 No.855368716 Neuron activation >be me >be 10 >school field trip >girl I really like sits next to me >not much later she's leaning on Monkey sees action my trying to sleep >thisisit.jpg 89 KB JPG >skip 3 more years >ask about the trip >truth is anon, I actually also really liked you >we cuddle for the rest of the day She dumps me next day because she's not ready for a relationships yet" and now she's asexual. | Where did I go wrong?

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Anon gets free food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/24/21 (Mon)03:02:46 No.16161780 >walk into chipotle >pick up random online order >walk out Filling, nutritious free food Gdreomstime.com 256 KB JPG 16 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)07:29:51 No.16163022 Don't mind me bro just pirating this order.
: Anonymous 05/24/21 (Mon)03:02:46 No.16161780 >walk into chipotle >pick up random online order >walk out Filling, nutritious free food Gdreomstime.com 256 KB JPG 16 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)07:29:51 No.16163022 Don't mind me bro just pirating this order.

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Anon tries to be cool | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears
O Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

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Anon kills people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)12:02:13 No.63854803 >be me >Doesn't like it when people take my things away >Have been like that since I was a child >Hanging out with gf >She's about to have sex with me 5 KB JPG >Have never had sex before >She unzips my pants >Suddenly realize she's trying to take my virginity >Beat her to a pulp cause she's taking something from me >She's dead >Curl up in the corner >Cops come and try to get me out of the room >Cop reaches for my hand >He's trying to take my hand >Unleash a blinding rage and kill him >Other cop starts shooting >He's trying to take my life >Proceed to murder him too >Escape to woods with bullet wounds >Never heard from again They'll never take me alive
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)12:02:13 No.63854803 >be me >Doesn't like it when people take my things away >Have been like that since I was a child >Hanging out with gf >She's about to have sex with me 5 KB JPG >Have never had sex before >She unzips my pants >Suddenly realize she's trying to take my virginity >Beat her to a pulp cause she's taking something from me >She's dead >Curl up in the corner >Cops come and try to get me out of the room >Cop reaches for my hand >He's trying to take my hand >Unleash a blinding rage and kill him >Other cop starts shooting >He's trying to take my life >Proceed to murder him too >Escape to woods with bullet wounds >Never heard from again They'll never take me alive

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Anon lost in champ select | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)21:56:37 No.853113093 >be me >born virgin It was rigged from the start 1.46 MB PNG 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)21:56:37 No.853113093 >be me >born virgin It was rigged from the start 1.46 MB PNG 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon vomits | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous give me some retarted stories 12/01/18(Sat)08:34:00 No.49598590 >its late at night >two of my friends are in a discord call egging me on >mix a bucnh of chemicals together with a crap ton of food dye >soap, detergent, even industrial paint thinner 257 KB JPG >for the final touch i piss in it >take a tiny sip >vomit.zip >pic related 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)08:41:39 No.49598645 Wow. You truly are a retard.
: Anonymous give me some retarted stories 12/01/18(Sat)08:34:00 No.49598590 >its late at night >two of my friends are in a discord call egging me on >mix a bucnh of chemicals together with a crap ton of food dye >soap, detergent, even industrial paint thinner 257 KB JPG >for the final touch i piss in it >take a tiny sip >vomit.zip >pic related 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)08:41:39 No.49598645 Wow. You truly are a retard.

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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:26:03 No.855336649 >be me >based CEO of Based 11 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:27:31 No.855336722 >>855336649 (OP) # Wow, pretty based.
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:26:03 No.855336649 >be me >based CEO of Based 11 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:27:31 No.855336722 >>855336649 (OP) # Wow, pretty based.

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God doesn’t like Anon | /r/Greentext

>make fun of cripples on the internet for years >god probably didn't like it cause my son was born crippled >continue to make fun of 15 KB JPG cripples regardless you can't outsmart me, old fella
>make fun of cripples on the internet for years >god probably didn't like it cause my son was born crippled >continue to make fun of 15 KB JPG cripples regardless you can't outsmart me, old fella

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Anon is a true hero | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)21:46:25 No.855291105 >be me >just got out of military >at beach with gf >we have a big inflatable floaty thing takes like 20 mins to blow up >be chilling in the sand random lady and kid ask to use floaty 13 KB JPG >gf says sure. >they float off and like 5 mins later fall off and start drowning >hear screams and no one helps them >say f--- it >swim out and save a mom,kid and the floaty. ff 30 mins >gf laying on floaty in water >fat n----- kid starts f------ with her >get up and March out to water >tell n----- I will kill him and his family if he doesnt stop messing with her >kid runs off 10mins later the whole monkey family shows up. Huge fat black dude 250lbs and same for ape wife >OH S--- my ass is grass >chimps ask if I said mean things to monkey child. >deny it all >lie my ass off that I told him to leave my gf alone to stop messing with her. >monkeys mom freaks out starts beating the kids ass >tell me they are sorry and leave >saved lives and ruined a black kids. >be real American hero
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)21:46:25 No.855291105 >be me >just got out of military >at beach with gf >we have a big inflatable floaty thing takes like 20 mins to blow up >be chilling in the sand random lady and kid ask to use floaty 13 KB JPG >gf says sure. >they float off and like 5 mins later fall off and start drowning >hear screams and no one helps them >say f--- it >swim out and save a mom,kid and the floaty. ff 30 mins >gf laying on floaty in water >fat n----- kid starts f------ with her >get up and March out to water >tell n----- I will kill him and his family if he doesnt stop messing with her >kid runs off 10mins later the whole monkey family shows up. Huge fat black dude 250lbs and same for ape wife >OH S--- my ass is grass >chimps ask if I said mean things to monkey child. >deny it all >lie my ass off that I told him to leave my gf alone to stop messing with her. >monkeys mom freaks out starts beating the kids ass >tell me they are sorry and leave >saved lives and ruined a black kids. >be real American hero

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Anon makes fun of americans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous II 04/21/19(Sun)00:29:50 No.104521401 >Americans don't celebrate Easter because they don't want to hear about someone that recovered for free 88 KB GIF : Anonymous . 04/21/19(Sun)00:32:19 No.104521453 F--- YOU
: Anonymous II 04/21/19(Sun)00:29:50 No.104521401 >Americans don't celebrate Easter because they don't want to hear about someone that recovered for free 88 KB GIF : Anonymous . 04/21/19(Sun)00:32:19 No.104521453 F--- YOU

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Anon finds the gamer juice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous cringe stories thread 05/26/21(Wed)04:57:09 No.63848890 Thtok >be me >leave factory shift a few hours ago >walk to truck >get in and start it up >say loudly "LETS OPEN UP SOME GAMER JUICE AND F------ 1.82 MB WEBM GAME" as i reach for a bottle of water >forget that my door was open >realize a few of my coworkers are standing a few metres away talking >drive away as fast as possible
: Anonymous cringe stories thread 05/26/21(Wed)04:57:09 No.63848890 Thtok >be me >leave factory shift a few hours ago >walk to truck >get in and start it up >say loudly "LETS OPEN UP SOME GAMER JUICE AND F------ 1.82 MB WEBM GAME" as i reach for a bottle of water >forget that my door was open >realize a few of my coworkers are standing a few metres away talking >drive away as fast as possible

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Anon fits right in | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)12:56:55 No.63849368 >Used to make fun of autists on 4chan >Psychiatrist diagnoses me with autism today I have achieved peak irony levels. 3 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)12:56:55 No.63849368 >Used to make fun of autists on 4chan >Psychiatrist diagnoses me with autism today I have achieved peak irony levels. 3 KB PNG

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We are all gonna make it | /r/Greentext

>be me >27 >cook/everything else >closing up restaurant >me and one girl finishing up in kitchen >light flirting feeling it out >close up and walk her to her car >say bye and hug 24 KB JPG >she does the gril thing where she falls into the hug a little >catch her no problem >shes breathless >wow anon you're so strong now shes sending me naughty pics feels good boys
>be me >27 >cook/everything else >closing up restaurant >me and one girl finishing up in kitchen >light flirting feeling it out >close up and walk her to her car >say bye and hug 24 KB JPG >she does the gril thing where she falls into the hug a little >catch her no problem >shes breathless >wow anon you're so strong now shes sending me naughty pics feels good boys

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Anon drinks coffee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:52:10 No.855352978 >exhausted >drink coffee >now exhausted, kind of sweaty, with a fast heartbeat 12 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:52:10 No.855352978 >exhausted >drink coffee >now exhausted, kind of sweaty, with a fast heartbeat 12 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon thinks he is special | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)12:22:46 No.855344928 > be me >i know i am me > what if everything else is fake and only a simulation in my mind? > absolutely no way of knowing for sure >i might be the only real person on earth 429 KB PNG Try to convince me otherwise, you won't : Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)12:23:12 No.855344943 >>855344928 (OP)_# You're not special f----- >>855344969 # >>855345054 #
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)12:22:46 No.855344928 > be me >i know i am me > what if everything else is fake and only a simulation in my mind? > absolutely no way of knowing for sure >i might be the only real person on earth 429 KB PNG Try to convince me otherwise, you won't : Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)12:23:12 No.855344943 >>855344928 (OP)_# You're not special f----- >>855344969 # >>855345054 #

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Anon is a creep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)14:31:24 No.63850296 >message a female friend who i get along with >tell her I'm still a virgin and that I think it would help me a lot and give me more confidence if I could lose it with her 25 KB JPG >no reply >she stops talking to me >meet irl due to common friends and she pretends I'm not there
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)14:31:24 No.63850296 >message a female friend who i get along with >tell her I'm still a virgin and that I think it would help me a lot and give me more confidence if I could lose it with her 25 KB JPG >no reply >she stops talking to me >meet irl due to common friends and she pretends I'm not there

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Anon dates girl out of his league | /r/Greentext

>found out that GF literally does A--- with her landlord to pay rent >isn't even ashamed, doesn't consider it cheating, told me to get over it NEVER, EVER date out of your league bros, 65 KB JPG it's not worth it.
>found out that GF literally does A--- with her landlord to pay rent >isn't even ashamed, doesn't consider it cheating, told me to get over it NEVER, EVER date out of your league bros, 65 KB JPG it's not worth it.

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Anon has a best friend | /r/Greentext

>be 14 >have a best friend >plays vidya, talk girls, a genuinely good friend. >about a month ago his mom passed away >terminal cancer, horrible thing >a week before his birthday his dad 50 KB JPG reached out to me >confusion.jpeg >"hey anon, it's friendanon's dad, I know you too are pretty close and next week is his birthday, figured we could do something nice for him." >l agree >"that's great, as you know ever since friendanon's mom passed away he's been pretty bummed out so I thought we could make something to remind him of her." >wtfwhybutok.png >agree to help him out because friendanon is my best friend. >mfw his dad asked me to bring a can of tomato sauce >whatthefuck.exe >fast forward to his birthday party >we just hanging out, some friends and family there just talking and congratulating friendanon, pretty cool b'day party >friendanon's dad clears his throat >"ehm so as you all know it's friendanon's birthday today, so for some time l've been thinking what would make anon's birthday memorable for him" >friendanon's dad takes out a plate with pasta and red sauce, puts it on the table and puts on a gentle smile. >friendanon tastes it and begins to cry >turns out it was his mother's special recipe. >anon gets so excited and emotional he throws up >he's all shaking >his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy >there's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
>be 14 >have a best friend >plays vidya, talk girls, a genuinely good friend. >about a month ago his mom passed away >terminal cancer, horrible thing >a week before his birthday his dad 50 KB JPG reached out to me >confusion.jpeg >"hey anon, it's friendanon's dad, I know you too are pretty close and next week is his birthday, figured we could do something nice for him." >l agree >"that's great, as you know ever since friendanon's mom passed away he's been pretty bummed out so I thought we could make something to remind him of her." >wtfwhybutok.png >agree to help him out because friendanon is my best friend. >mfw his dad asked me to bring a can of tomato sauce >whatthefuck.exe >fast forward to his birthday party >we just hanging out, some friends and family there just talking and congratulating friendanon, pretty cool b'day party >friendanon's dad clears his throat >"ehm so as you all know it's friendanon's birthday today, so for some time l've been thinking what would make anon's birthday memorable for him" >friendanon's dad takes out a plate with pasta and red sauce, puts it on the table and puts on a gentle smile. >friendanon tastes it and begins to cry >turns out it was his mother's special recipe. >anon gets so excited and emotional he throws up >he's all shaking >his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy >there's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti

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Anon is drunk | /r/Greentext


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