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Story of my life | /r/Greentext


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Anon finds his wallet | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 41973641 27 min. ago >christmas cleaning >going through my stuff at home >find my old wallet >take out something from it >it is a condom >remember I put it there when I turned 15 "because I will need it soon" 450.9 kB PNG >look at the back side >it's expiring next year >l just turned 20
Anonymous | 41973641 27 min. ago >christmas cleaning >going through my stuff at home >find my old wallet >take out something from it >it is a condom >remember I put it there when I turned 15 "because I will need it soon" 450.9 kB PNG >look at the back side >it's expiring next year >l just turned 20

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Anon is a pirate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Anon is living the dream but with a twist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)15:18:16 No.63866552 >"Anon... I-I just want you to know that I have always felt this way about you. I've been watching you for so long, and wanted you so bad, I can't stand it anymore. I can't keep it to myself. I want to scream to the world how much you mean to me. I want to shout from the rooftops how you make me feel. Every day, you make my heart skip, and brighten my day. Every time l'm with you, I walk away with a kick in my heel, and a boost in my confidence; like I can take on the whole world. 89 KB PNG Even at the worst times, there's never a dull moment with you. I feel things that I don't about anyone else. And I felt it for so long, so agonisingly, I'm more than certain it's meant to be. I love you, Anon. And want you ways I can't find the words for." (unrobes) What did big sis mean by this?
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)15:18:16 No.63866552 >"Anon... I-I just want you to know that I have always felt this way about you. I've been watching you for so long, and wanted you so bad, I can't stand it anymore. I can't keep it to myself. I want to scream to the world how much you mean to me. I want to shout from the rooftops how you make me feel. Every day, you make my heart skip, and brighten my day. Every time l'm with you, I walk away with a kick in my heel, and a boost in my confidence; like I can take on the whole world. 89 KB PNG Even at the worst times, there's never a dull moment with you. I feel things that I don't about anyone else. And I felt it for so long, so agonisingly, I'm more than certain it's meant to be. I love you, Anon. And want you ways I can't find the words for." (unrobes) What did big sis mean by this?

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anon is a schizo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)00:40:14 No.151447399 >went to the movies for the first time in more than a year >actor stops saying his lines >looks directly at me >starts saying my name, address and ssn >everyone in the theater looks at me and starts laughing I'm never going back to a theater again >>151448033 # >>151448884 #
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)00:40:14 No.151447399 >went to the movies for the first time in more than a year >actor stops saying his lines >looks directly at me >starts saying my name, address and ssn >everyone in the theater looks at me and starts laughing I'm never going back to a theater again >>151448033 # >>151448884 #

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Anons are Geography majors | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)21:09:37 No.129854915 >Georgia? Thats a state not a country its capital is Atlanta bro 480 KB PNG 109/03/20(Thu)21:15:14 No.129855092 >Turkey? Thats a bird not a country its origin is America bro 191 KB PNG : Anonymous I-09/03/20(Thu)21:17:11 No.129855149 >Hungary? No, I just ate
: Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)21:09:37 No.129854915 >Georgia? Thats a state not a country its capital is Atlanta bro 480 KB PNG 109/03/20(Thu)21:15:14 No.129855092 >Turkey? Thats a bird not a country its origin is America bro 191 KB PNG : Anonymous I-09/03/20(Thu)21:17:11 No.129855149 >Hungary? No, I just ate

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Anon protects his gold | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:42:43 No.63862155 >be me >At home >Checking on massive pile of gold in basement >Gold is hidden in a vault >Intruder alarms go off >Someone's approaching my house 29 KB JPG >Run upstairs to see people walking through my front yard >They must be here for my gold >Activate traps >Sprinkles shower intruders in gasoline >Throw a single match at them >They burst in flames >They're approaching the backyard >Climb the giant wall I built to see them trying to climb it >Pour boiling water over the side and listen as their skin fuses together >They're retreating >Victory is mine >They'll never get my gold I still don't know who the IRS is but l'll protect my wealth to the death
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:42:43 No.63862155 >be me >At home >Checking on massive pile of gold in basement >Gold is hidden in a vault >Intruder alarms go off >Someone's approaching my house 29 KB JPG >Run upstairs to see people walking through my front yard >They must be here for my gold >Activate traps >Sprinkles shower intruders in gasoline >Throw a single match at them >They burst in flames >They're approaching the backyard >Climb the giant wall I built to see them trying to climb it >Pour boiling water over the side and listen as their skin fuses together >They're retreating >Victory is mine >They'll never get my gold I still don't know who the IRS is but l'll protect my wealth to the death

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Anon in class | /r/Greentext

1. #62546757 9/21/17, 12:00 >be in class >everyone using gay ass laptops >smirk >pull on my fingerless hacking gloves >put on my anti-glare sunglasses >pull my fedora a little lower >crack my knuckles >actually only two of them can crack >l'm not sure why, I think it's genetic >rearrange the tails of my duster trenchcoat >pull my alienware tower from under the table >it makes a big thump when I put it on the tabletop >sorry >turn it on >fans start blowing all those goofy laptop user's gay papers everywhere >plug in my cherry blue keyswitch mechanical >start typing >teacher has to raise voice to be heard >everyone whispering and 'mirin my rig >somehow security finds out I'm not a registered student >get escorted out
1. #62546757 9/21/17, 12:00 >be in class >everyone using gay ass laptops >smirk >pull on my fingerless hacking gloves >put on my anti-glare sunglasses >pull my fedora a little lower >crack my knuckles >actually only two of them can crack >l'm not sure why, I think it's genetic >rearrange the tails of my duster trenchcoat >pull my alienware tower from under the table >it makes a big thump when I put it on the tabletop >sorry >turn it on >fans start blowing all those goofy laptop user's gay papers everywhere >plug in my cherry blue keyswitch mechanical >start typing >teacher has to raise voice to be heard >everyone whispering and 'mirin my rig >somehow security finds out I'm not a registered student >get escorted out

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Anon goes on a 13$ flight trip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)05:00:36 No.2023204 Retarded stories thread /trv/ edition >be me >have to use plane to get to family gathering >buy the cheapest flight I can >13 dollar round trip flight 14 KB JPG >too good to be true >spirit airlines always flys cheap never seen it this cheap tho >day of flight >flight attendant tells me "take a seat hon" >me being a gen 5 retard sees a flirting opportunity >try to lift up seat >say "it's mine to keep right?" >all 3 seats in row f------ collapse >there is people in them >the chairs that collapsed fall into the row behind >there is people in those too >MFW >silence as entire plane stares at me >People start chattering >I quickly say >"I can't even lift 50 pounds those seats were bunk" >greasy guy in the back yells "THE FLIGHT WAS 13 DOLLARS PEOPLE WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" >chattering stops > flight attendant calls me a retard and gets a power tool and some bolts from the back of the plane >fixes the seats in like 2 minutes
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)05:00:36 No.2023204 Retarded stories thread /trv/ edition >be me >have to use plane to get to family gathering >buy the cheapest flight I can >13 dollar round trip flight 14 KB JPG >too good to be true >spirit airlines always flys cheap never seen it this cheap tho >day of flight >flight attendant tells me "take a seat hon" >me being a gen 5 retard sees a flirting opportunity >try to lift up seat >say "it's mine to keep right?" >all 3 seats in row f------ collapse >there is people in them >the chairs that collapsed fall into the row behind >there is people in those too >MFW >silence as entire plane stares at me >People start chattering >I quickly say >"I can't even lift 50 pounds those seats were bunk" >greasy guy in the back yells "THE FLIGHT WAS 13 DOLLARS PEOPLE WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" >chattering stops > flight attendant calls me a retard and gets a power tool and some bolts from the back of the plane >fixes the seats in like 2 minutes

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Anon works at McDonald’s | /r/Greentext

HAPP >working at McDonald's Anonymous | 753841064 45 min. geleden •.. story time CHICHEN 3990NaW apy mel >working at McDonald's >*autistic kid appears* >screams all the time : CHICKEN MCNUGGETS AN EXCELLENT U HAPPI >wants a happy meal with nuggets >gave him 5 instead of 4 cuz of my kindness 300,3 kB JPG >he noticed >*autistic screeching* >wanted a new one with only 4 nuggets i hate children. 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY
HAPP >working at McDonald's Anonymous | 753841064 45 min. geleden •.. story time CHICHEN 3990NaW apy mel >working at McDonald's >*autistic kid appears* >screams all the time : CHICKEN MCNUGGETS AN EXCELLENT U HAPPI >wants a happy meal with nuggets >gave him 5 instead of 4 cuz of my kindness 300,3 kB JPG >he noticed >*autistic screeching* >wanted a new one with only 4 nuggets i hate children. 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon buys ice cream | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a friend.the | /r/Greentext

>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related
>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related

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Anon has anti-vax parents | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/21(Mon)08:25:03 No.850224142 >parents wont let me take the vaccine dafuq? >they have seen SCIENTIFIC FACEBOOK VIDEOS > what do 148 KB PNG 17 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/22/21(Mon)08:25:03 No.850224142 >parents wont let me take the vaccine dafuq? >they have seen SCIENTIFIC FACEBOOK VIDEOS > what do 148 KB PNG 17 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is a trap | /r/Greentext

File: 55528354.jpg (108 KB, 640x640) O Anonymous 05/02/19(Thu)04:09:34 No.798735010 >>798735490 >be me, beta cuck >hate school, always dress crappy >school is in western USA >lots of weirdos >older sister lives with us, shes cool i guess >one night, playing truth or dare with my only two friends >take dare >"hey anon, i dare you to dress like a girl for school tomorrow" >hell no >"dares a dare anon, you know the punishment" >punishment is no protection from lunch miney thiefs >sigh >fine >raid sisters drawes and closet >get good outfit set out >wake up next morning >makeup, bra, the whole nine >go to school >everyone thinks im a new girl >get hit on >lots If small talk and laughing >go home >that was good >cross dress again next day >make more friends >am now trap >have boyfriend (not gay) How badly did I f--- up /b/
File: 55528354.jpg (108 KB, 640x640) O Anonymous 05/02/19(Thu)04:09:34 No.798735010 >>798735490 >be me, beta cuck >hate school, always dress crappy >school is in western USA >lots of weirdos >older sister lives with us, shes cool i guess >one night, playing truth or dare with my only two friends >take dare >"hey anon, i dare you to dress like a girl for school tomorrow" >hell no >"dares a dare anon, you know the punishment" >punishment is no protection from lunch miney thiefs >sigh >fine >raid sisters drawes and closet >get good outfit set out >wake up next morning >makeup, bra, the whole nine >go to school >everyone thinks im a new girl >get hit on >lots If small talk and laughing >go home >that was good >cross dress again next day >make more friends >am now trap >have boyfriend (not gay) How badly did I f--- up /b/

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Anon is not the sharpest tool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)13:54:31 No.855414189 Embarrassing/ autistic / straight up retarded stories thread. I'l| start >be me >preteen >just started watching p--- 80 KB PNG >see a lot of mom/son p--- >though it was real >though it's just what mommies do to prepare their special boys >one day I asked her "when are we gonna do the stuff that moms and son's do" >she looks at me weirdly "what do you mean anon, what do you wanna do?" >show her the video >she looks at me in disgust >called my dad >get the worst beating in my life 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)13:54:31 No.855414189 Embarrassing/ autistic / straight up retarded stories thread. I'l| start >be me >preteen >just started watching p--- 80 KB PNG >see a lot of mom/son p--- >though it was real >though it's just what mommies do to prepare their special boys >one day I asked her "when are we gonna do the stuff that moms and son's do" >she looks at me weirdly "what do you mean anon, what do you wanna do?" >show her the video >she looks at me in disgust >called my dad >get the worst beating in my life 1 Reply View Thread

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Femanon has a date | /r/Greentext


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HIStory is told by the victors | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)16:09:29 No.849351555 In the late 1600s, London was plagued by a sexual attacker, dubbed 'Whipping Tom', who would spank his victims with his hand or sometimes a rod and shout 'Spanko! before running away. ping Tom ping Ione B122A23B-9CCE-45B3-9E8F-5E2E9ECSAFFB.jpg 213 KB JPG >1600 >Be me, Whipping Tom >Decide it would be humorous to slap some wenches on their bottoms >Starts as a joke but I quickly develop a liking for it, and become quite renound for my spankings, as I'm fleet of foot and yet to be caught >Flash forward over 400 years >Countless great and powerful men have died and been long forgotten, but my tale is still told and my name remembered >Spanko!
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)16:09:29 No.849351555 In the late 1600s, London was plagued by a sexual attacker, dubbed 'Whipping Tom', who would spank his victims with his hand or sometimes a rod and shout 'Spanko! before running away. ping Tom ping Ione B122A23B-9CCE-45B3-9E8F-5E2E9ECSAFFB.jpg 213 KB JPG >1600 >Be me, Whipping Tom >Decide it would be humorous to slap some wenches on their bottoms >Starts as a joke but I quickly develop a liking for it, and become quite renound for my spankings, as I'm fleet of foot and yet to be caught >Flash forward over 400 years >Countless great and powerful men have died and been long forgotten, but my tale is still told and my name remembered >Spanko!

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An interesting title #1 new | /r/Greentext

File: africa.jpg (9 KB, 480x453) O map dude 02/15/18(Thu)15:56:46 No.43232628 I'm back again boys draw on the map where niger is O Anonymous 02/15/18(Thu)15:57:33 No.43232637 Paint bucket tool.
File: africa.jpg (9 KB, 480x453) O map dude 02/15/18(Thu)15:56:46 No.43232628 I'm back again boys draw on the map where niger is O Anonymous 02/15/18(Thu)15:57:33 No.43232637 Paint bucket tool.

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Ok shitbags say what you will. I didn’t write this but found this gem in my old memes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.44621514 35 minutes ago >be indian >wake up to screams of women being gang r---- >pray to blue two-headed rhino god >no shower so bathe in the Ganges >almost choke on child's spinal column >ride on roof of victorian train to the call centre >"hello this is hank from computer company we need to ask you a few-" *click* >creepily hit on western women on facebook during breaktime >walking home >need to take a s--- for the 35th time that day >squat over a dying orphan who happened to be in the way >wipe anus with hand >eat rice from a giant communal bowl >use hands like a chimp >time for bed >crawl up in a pile of straw with, pray to 5 armed lobster-woman god for allowing me to live in the greatest country on earth
Anonymous No.44621514 35 minutes ago >be indian >wake up to screams of women being gang r---- >pray to blue two-headed rhino god >no shower so bathe in the Ganges >almost choke on child's spinal column >ride on roof of victorian train to the call centre >"hello this is hank from computer company we need to ask you a few-" *click* >creepily hit on western women on facebook during breaktime >walking home >need to take a s--- for the 35th time that day >squat over a dying orphan who happened to be in the way >wipe anus with hand >eat rice from a giant communal bowl >use hands like a chimp >time for bed >crawl up in a pile of straw with, pray to 5 armed lobster-woman god for allowing me to live in the greatest country on earth

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Anon is truly autistic | /r/Greentext


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