Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon wants a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I deserve a gf 11/27/18(Tue)04:35:35 No.49522816 >l'm white >l'm young >l'm physically healthy >l'm not a manlet(over 6'0" / 183cm) >My peepee is 7x5in / 18x13cm >l have a strong sense of morality 120 KB JPG >l have a strong sense of honor >I have a favourable personality >l've been told I am handsome >I can protect my wife and offspring from predators >I can provide resources and coverture for my wife and children >l am good with children and would make a good father >I can cook >l'm a strong swimmer >l have good taste in anime I deserve a gf : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)07:56:21 No.49524715 >>49522816 (OP) # >I have good taste in anime. Thats how you dry up their p---- like a desert you autist.
: Anonymous I deserve a gf 11/27/18(Tue)04:35:35 No.49522816 >l'm white >l'm young >l'm physically healthy >l'm not a manlet(over 6'0" / 183cm) >My peepee is 7x5in / 18x13cm >l have a strong sense of morality 120 KB JPG >l have a strong sense of honor >I have a favourable personality >l've been told I am handsome >I can protect my wife and offspring from predators >I can provide resources and coverture for my wife and children >l am good with children and would make a good father >I can cook >l'm a strong swimmer >l have good taste in anime I deserve a gf : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)07:56:21 No.49524715 >>49522816 (OP) # >I have good taste in anime. Thats how you dry up their p---- like a desert you autist.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font material property

C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER the | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)20:26:30 No.62493625 >be me >loner virgin who congregates with other loner virgins >month before senior prom >always hear them complain bout how their moms ask them if they have a gf 21 KB JPG >my mom has never asked me this >go home and watch some l---- p--- >come down for dinner >just me and mom >she stays quiet for a second before saying >"anon my friend has a kid who has no one to go to prom with would you go with them >what the f--- >she skipped all the f------ steps and just assumed i was f----- >lightbulb.jpg >realise i have a date with an actual female >say yes and go full chad mode for a month >know im f------ ripped because the local gay kid mike keeps eyeballing me >night of prom comes >date is coming to my house instead >heart is f----- pounding >hear knock on door >open it >.... >its mike
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)20:26:30 No.62493625 >be me >loner virgin who congregates with other loner virgins >month before senior prom >always hear them complain bout how their moms ask them if they have a gf 21 KB JPG >my mom has never asked me this >go home and watch some l---- p--- >come down for dinner >just me and mom >she stays quiet for a second before saying >"anon my friend has a kid who has no one to go to prom with would you go with them >what the f--- >she skipped all the f------ steps and just assumed i was f----- >lightbulb.jpg >realise i have a date with an actual female >say yes and go full chad mode for a month >know im f------ ripped because the local gay kid mike keeps eyeballing me >night of prom comes >date is coming to my house instead >heart is f----- pounding >hear knock on door >open it >.... >its mike

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext bird font terrestrial plant

Well if you’re posting on 4chan then it’s a pretty reasonable assumption | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext product organism font smile line rectangle

Anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/27/19(Sun)22:25:39 No.812748545 >go eat at local pizza place >eat entire large peperoni pizza >still hungry >Too embarassed to order more cause qt cashier will think I'm a f------ fatass >pretend go get a call from friend 6 KB JPG >stage an entire 3 minute conversation >end call asking him if he wants anything from the pizza place >order another pizza to go for "friend" >proceed to devour the pizza in my car >cashier walks up to my car with my backpack >sees i'm halfway done with my "friends" pizza >"you forgot your backpack" >l smile and nod with my mouth full >she f------ giggles and walks away F------ bitch I've never been this embarassed in my life. I can never go back there
: Anonymous 10/27/19(Sun)22:25:39 No.812748545 >go eat at local pizza place >eat entire large peperoni pizza >still hungry >Too embarassed to order more cause qt cashier will think I'm a f------ fatass >pretend go get a call from friend 6 KB JPG >stage an entire 3 minute conversation >end call asking him if he wants anything from the pizza place >order another pizza to go for "friend" >proceed to devour the pizza in my car >cashier walks up to my car with my backpack >sees i'm halfway done with my "friends" pizza >"you forgot your backpack" >l smile and nod with my mouth full >she f------ giggles and walks away F------ bitch I've never been this embarassed in my life. I can never go back there

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon meets a Chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font terrestrial plant

Anon has a cool grandpa | /r/Greentext

lal Anonymous 07/28/20(Tue)02:41:37 No.206446180 >Had my grandpa over today, he's 84 and l'm 20 >We were talking about trends and such and the discussion moved over to the Japanese somehow >"Yeah those cartoons they make are a huge industry over there. Their animation probably racks in billions each year and it's enjoyed by people all over the world, the animation was inspired directly by Walt Disney's work and made into a whole new industry." 201 KB JPG >"Really?" >"Yeah wanna watch one with me?" >"Yeah show me one." >Show him the first episode of One Punch Man on Netflix >"H-------- Anon that was great." >He especially liked the crabman and the kid with a pair of balls for a chin >We went out for Icecream after and I dropped him off home >Get a call about 30 minutes ago >"Anon I was trying to take a nap, but I can't stop thinking about that One Punch Man, can we watch more tomorrow?" Sorry to blogpost but I love my Grandpa and I thought this would be a nice story to share. What are /al's experiences in introducing friends and family to anime?
lal Anonymous 07/28/20(Tue)02:41:37 No.206446180 >Had my grandpa over today, he's 84 and l'm 20 >We were talking about trends and such and the discussion moved over to the Japanese somehow >"Yeah those cartoons they make are a huge industry over there. Their animation probably racks in billions each year and it's enjoyed by people all over the world, the animation was inspired directly by Walt Disney's work and made into a whole new industry." 201 KB JPG >"Really?" >"Yeah wanna watch one with me?" >"Yeah show me one." >Show him the first episode of One Punch Man on Netflix >"H-------- Anon that was great." >He especially liked the crabman and the kid with a pair of balls for a chin >We went out for Icecream after and I dropped him off home >Get a call about 30 minutes ago >"Anon I was trying to take a nap, but I can't stop thinking about that One Punch Man, can we watch more tomorrow?" Sorry to blogpost but I love my Grandpa and I thought this would be a nice story to share. What are /al's experiences in introducing friends and family to anime?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is a true American | /r/Greentext

Verizon 8:02 PM 56% : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)19:02:40 No.855542747 >Be me, true American >Watching baseball and eating healthy meal of freedom fries covered in 10 cups of cheese >Realize I still need a fruit >Pour entire ketchup bottle all over 23 KB JPG fries >Worry it's not enough >Grab six bottles of Crush to wash it down >Worry I'm being too healthy >Dump two salt shakers onto fries >Much better >Baseball game is interrupted >Evil liberal president is speaking >He says that all cancer will end worldwide if we all wear 2 socks on our right feet for 10 seconds a day. >Proves this beyond a doubt using science >Says we are all now required to do so and how great it is that cancer will now disappear forever >Rage at the egregious affront against my freedom >Throw freedom fries at TV >The communist expects me to lift a finger to make the world a better place to live >Call up friends >Hold riots where we burn all the socks we can find >Burn clothing stores that sell socks >Tear socks off the feet of pedestrians >Feel proud of the rising rates of cancer knowing we protected our freedom >George Washington would be so proud of us
Verizon 8:02 PM 56% : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)19:02:40 No.855542747 >Be me, true American >Watching baseball and eating healthy meal of freedom fries covered in 10 cups of cheese >Realize I still need a fruit >Pour entire ketchup bottle all over 23 KB JPG fries >Worry it's not enough >Grab six bottles of Crush to wash it down >Worry I'm being too healthy >Dump two salt shakers onto fries >Much better >Baseball game is interrupted >Evil liberal president is speaking >He says that all cancer will end worldwide if we all wear 2 socks on our right feet for 10 seconds a day. >Proves this beyond a doubt using science >Says we are all now required to do so and how great it is that cancer will now disappear forever >Rage at the egregious affront against my freedom >Throw freedom fries at TV >The communist expects me to lift a finger to make the world a better place to live >Call up friends >Hold riots where we burn all the socks we can find >Burn clothing stores that sell socks >Tear socks off the feet of pedestrians >Feel proud of the rising rates of cancer knowing we protected our freedom >George Washington would be so proud of us

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon learns that he's an incel. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)11:12:56 No.145829282 >Be me. >Study German. >The German for Island is "Insel." >Britischen Inseln >Philippinen Insel. >Mfw I live in an Incel country. 68 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)11:12:56 No.145829282 >Be me. >Study German. >The German for Island is "Insel." >Britischen Inseln >Philippinen Insel. >Mfw I live in an Incel country. 68 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext rectangle organism font line

Anon Buys a Girly Mask | /r/Greentext

File: C41E70CC-0E48-41FA-9D37-C(..).png (285 KB, 1000x800) O Anonymous 11/03/20(Tue)07:38:09 No.60747141 [Reply] >buy girly mask >throw it on the side of my car where it can be seen >give mom a ride >sees the mask >"oh anon whos the lucky girl?" >say its a friend >parents no longer think l'm a virgin loser Who /highiqintellectual/ here? 1 reply omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 11/03/20(Tue)08:47:28 No.60747735 >>60747141 (OP) >>buy girly mask ha f-----
File: C41E70CC-0E48-41FA-9D37-C(..).png (285 KB, 1000x800) O Anonymous 11/03/20(Tue)07:38:09 No.60747141 [Reply] >buy girly mask >throw it on the side of my car where it can be seen >give mom a ride >sees the mask >"oh anon whos the lucky girl?" >say its a friend >parents no longer think l'm a virgin loser Who /highiqintellectual/ here? 1 reply omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 11/03/20(Tue)08:47:28 No.60747735 >>60747141 (OP) >>buy girly mask ha f-----

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font terrestrial plant

anon commits battery for loaf | /r/Greentext

four hundred thousand keks >be me >12 7 KB JPG >going to the store with my dad >just before big hurricane >takes last bread loaf >some lady snatches it from his cart >he tears it back >"buht, whee need it more!" >it was in my cart, just go to a different store or f----- deal >"noe!!! >she takes it, starts running >my 12 year old ass thinks it would be funny if i threw a can of beans at her >hits her head >shes out cold >dad looks at me >I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDNT MEAN TO KNOCK HER OUT >he laughs and picks up the loaf >we leave >made a sandwitch with that bread >f----- lol
four hundred thousand keks >be me >12 7 KB JPG >going to the store with my dad >just before big hurricane >takes last bread loaf >some lady snatches it from his cart >he tears it back >"buht, whee need it more!" >it was in my cart, just go to a different store or f----- deal >"noe!!! >she takes it, starts running >my 12 year old ass thinks it would be funny if i threw a can of beans at her >hits her head >shes out cold >dad looks at me >I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDNT MEAN TO KNOCK HER OUT >he laughs and picks up the loaf >we leave >made a sandwitch with that bread >f----- lol

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

War of the Anons | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)04:17:27 No.778219655 >one day having a lot of fun playing vidya with a friend >nothing out of the ordinary happens >out of nowhere I feel my mood starting to decline >wonder what the f--- is 48 KB JPG happening >even though I was having fun and talking to someone I really like >feel like s--- >tell friend I need to go for a bit >lie in my bed >extremely p----- off for feeling like s--- >gather all the anger and strength I could muster and punch myself in the side of the head as hard as I f------ could >immediately feel dazed and fuzzy >l ride the feeling for a while >become super relaxed and happy Did I just restart my brain or something?
: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)04:17:27 No.778219655 >one day having a lot of fun playing vidya with a friend >nothing out of the ordinary happens >out of nowhere I feel my mood starting to decline >wonder what the f--- is 48 KB JPG happening >even though I was having fun and talking to someone I really like >feel like s--- >tell friend I need to go for a bit >lie in my bed >extremely p----- off for feeling like s--- >gather all the anger and strength I could muster and punch myself in the side of the head as hard as I f------ could >immediately feel dazed and fuzzy >l ride the feeling for a while >become super relaxed and happy Did I just restart my brain or something?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is a decent human | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/18(Fri)07:00:15 No.772251560 >>772251055 (OP) # >be 15 >sister 17 WOOSH VOUAVE Smol pener >walks out of bathroom after shower 40 KB JPG >towel hanging very loose around her body. >tell her to fasten her towel before it falls off >she nods and fastens it before walking away >i go shower and forget about it >because im not some sick degenerate like you f----. >>772251744 #
: Anonymous 06/22/18(Fri)07:00:15 No.772251560 >>772251055 (OP) # >be 15 >sister 17 WOOSH VOUAVE Smol pener >walks out of bathroom after shower 40 KB JPG >towel hanging very loose around her body. >tell her to fasten her towel before it falls off >she nods and fastens it before walking away >i go shower and forget about it >because im not some sick degenerate like you f----. >>772251744 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon receives a compliment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)08:26:16 No.843691791 1607846755974.jpg 90 KB JPG >taking piss at public urinal >guy walks in and starts using the one next to me >he looks over at me >'nice c--- bro, i bet you c-- alot right? Yeah i bet you do' We all need a compliment from time to time to make us feel good.
: Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)08:26:16 No.843691791 1607846755974.jpg 90 KB JPG >taking piss at public urinal >guy walks in and starts using the one next to me >he looks over at me >'nice c--- bro, i bet you c-- alot right? Yeah i bet you do' We all need a compliment from time to time to make us feel good.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Anon goes to a New Years party | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Sex in a nutshell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/18(Sat)08:11:08 No.50101930 Sex for men: >do all the work >stay hard >take care of your body so that you can do all the work and stay hard >don't c-- too fast 81 KB JPG >don't c-- too slow >you must c-- at some point >not have a micropeen >be aggressive and r----, but also not really >be good at oral and fingering and excellent at reading body language so she feels comfortable at all times and can get off just the way she likes >make sure body odor and grooming is under control at all times >wear a tight-ass rubber glove on your dong so you can't feel s---, or your life will be ruined Sex for women: >just f------ lay there >you can suck his d---, maybe, if you feel like it But yeah, men sure are f------ selfish in bed, amirite ladies?
: Anonymous 12/29/18(Sat)08:11:08 No.50101930 Sex for men: >do all the work >stay hard >take care of your body so that you can do all the work and stay hard >don't c-- too fast 81 KB JPG >don't c-- too slow >you must c-- at some point >not have a micropeen >be aggressive and r----, but also not really >be good at oral and fingering and excellent at reading body language so she feels comfortable at all times and can get off just the way she likes >make sure body odor and grooming is under control at all times >wear a tight-ass rubber glove on your dong so you can't feel s---, or your life will be ruined Sex for women: >just f------ lay there >you can suck his d---, maybe, if you feel like it But yeah, men sure are f------ selfish in bed, amirite ladies?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon's friend finds God | /r/Greentext

1h (5/28 15:38) · 63880930 5 Re 2 Img JPG 45KB (680 × 760) 4 Replies GENDER REVEAL >have an Iranian online friend >he is secretly an atheist and basically a liberal >l tell him everything about western women >he changes his mind and becomes a muslim again Umm, based?
1h (5/28 15:38) · 63880930 5 Re 2 Img JPG 45KB (680 × 760) 4 Replies GENDER REVEAL >have an Iranian online friend >he is secretly an atheist and basically a liberal >l tell him everything about western women >he changes his mind and becomes a muslim again Umm, based?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext shorts leg human body sleeve knee font

>Short but to the point | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/20/19(Wed)23:01:42 No.55439257 >wanting to kill yourself >remembering your chances of spawning back as indian are too high 280 KB GIF View Thread
: Anonymous 11/20/19(Wed)23:01:42 No.55439257 >wanting to kill yourself >remembering your chances of spawning back as indian are too high 280 KB GIF View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext gesture font happy

Anon is a functioning member of society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/19(Thu)20:11:48 No.53925486 >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." 82 KB JPG >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends
: Anonymous 08/15/19(Thu)20:11:48 No.53925486 >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." 82 KB JPG >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism

Anon won't train with gf ever again | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext