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Anon is an arsonist | /r/Greentext

D Anon is an arsonist Anonymous 19/04/02(Tue)21:46 No. 3421 (Reply] File 155423436523.jpg - (144.36KB , 1000x847, VZGYWFO.jpg) >be me >working at chick-fil-a >doing a promo where you get a free entree or a meal for looking like a cow (costume=meal, tshirt=entree) >been super busy >tired as f--- >finaly it cools down a bit >landwhale and her daughter come up, they order 2 #1meals and diet(offcourse) cocke >give it to them for free >confusion.mp4 >say we "are doing a promo" and point to the sign >they walk away hàppy, oblivious to the fourth degree burn that just went down >mfw
D Anon is an arsonist Anonymous 19/04/02(Tue)21:46 No. 3421 (Reply] File 155423436523.jpg - (144.36KB , 1000x847, VZGYWFO.jpg) >be me >working at chick-fil-a >doing a promo where you get a free entree or a meal for looking like a cow (costume=meal, tshirt=entree) >been super busy >tired as f--- >finaly it cools down a bit >landwhale and her daughter come up, they order 2 #1meals and diet(offcourse) cocke >give it to them for free >confusion.mp4 >say we "are doing a promo" and point to the sign >they walk away hàppy, oblivious to the fourth degree burn that just went down >mfw

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Anon hacks the system | /r/Greentext

>go to club >pretend to be bisexual >retarded females think gays are "cute" >get several girls talking to me at once 4 KB JPG >go back to their place >"show us how you guys f---" >f--- every girl there in the ass >get dressed and leave
>go to club >pretend to be bisexual >retarded females think gays are "cute" >get several girls talking to me at once 4 KB JPG >go back to their place >"show us how you guys f---" >f--- every girl there in the ass >get dressed and leave

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Anon motivates his peers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/20(Mon)05:21:17 No.54008561 reach for the top >never talk to anyone at the gym >today, doing my cardio routine >fatty on the treadmill next to mine >he's huffing and puffing from walking fast, but he's actually doing something >give him a fistbump 931 KB GIF >later in the locker room >he enters the shower as I get out of the sauna, meaning he did a 1h+ workout >mutter "good job" at him >he smiles and says thanks Remember to motivate the fatties putting in actual work at your gym.
: Anonymous 01/13/20(Mon)05:21:17 No.54008561 reach for the top >never talk to anyone at the gym >today, doing my cardio routine >fatty on the treadmill next to mine >he's huffing and puffing from walking fast, but he's actually doing something >give him a fistbump 931 KB GIF >later in the locker room >he enters the shower as I get out of the sauna, meaning he did a 1h+ workout >mutter "good job" at him >he smiles and says thanks Remember to motivate the fatties putting in actual work at your gym.

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Anon is a woman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 797920032 Vor 1 Min. •.. >Be me >Weak pathetic excuse for a man >Wanted to be a professional athlete all my life >Turned down everywhere I try >Start to come to terms with the fact that l'll never achieve my dream >2019 rolls around 55,2 kB JPG >Diversity PC nightmare >"But wait, I can use this to my advantage!" >sexchange.jpg >Am now a "woman" >Join female sports teams and get them arrested for hate speech if they say no >Beat the s--- out of everyone >Win all championships >Dumbass millenials call me brave and heroic Thanks system, I finally achieved my dream!
Anonymous | 797920032 Vor 1 Min. •.. >Be me >Weak pathetic excuse for a man >Wanted to be a professional athlete all my life >Turned down everywhere I try >Start to come to terms with the fact that l'll never achieve my dream >2019 rolls around 55,2 kB JPG >Diversity PC nightmare >"But wait, I can use this to my advantage!" >sexchange.jpg >Am now a "woman" >Join female sports teams and get them arrested for hate speech if they say no >Beat the s--- out of everyone >Win all championships >Dumbass millenials call me brave and heroic Thanks system, I finally achieved my dream!

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each burger is less than a dollar each | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/17(Fri)21:42:54 No.9005626 nuggets.jpg 478 KB JPG What is your largest fast food order? : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:25:47 No.9006160 >>9005626 (OP) i was in the phillipines and ordered 30 yum burgers from jollibees because they were so cheap my action caused a huge scene because i was in a remote city that rarely sees white people, and the magnitude of burgers i ordered 2>9006183 # 229006205 # : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:45:01 No.9006205 >>9006160 >Never see a white person in all 35 years of your life >Hear stories about how much they eat >Think that impossible, nobody could stomach that much! >One day, skinny white man arrives >Astounding! >What a novelty! >But surely the rumors must be false, see how thin he is >Follow him into local Jollibees to confirm >He orders 30 f------ burgers >3 f------ 0 >Go home to wife >Tell her we must sell everything >Need to open hotdog stand in America >We will be fabulously wealthy
: Anonymous 06/02/17(Fri)21:42:54 No.9005626 nuggets.jpg 478 KB JPG What is your largest fast food order? : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:25:47 No.9006160 >>9005626 (OP) i was in the phillipines and ordered 30 yum burgers from jollibees because they were so cheap my action caused a huge scene because i was in a remote city that rarely sees white people, and the magnitude of burgers i ordered 2>9006183 # 229006205 # : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:45:01 No.9006205 >>9006160 >Never see a white person in all 35 years of your life >Hear stories about how much they eat >Think that impossible, nobody could stomach that much! >One day, skinny white man arrives >Astounding! >What a novelty! >But surely the rumors must be false, see how thin he is >Follow him into local Jollibees to confirm >He orders 30 f------ burgers >3 f------ 0 >Go home to wife >Tell her we must sell everything >Need to open hotdog stand in America >We will be fabulously wealthy

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Anon Plays OverWatch | /r/Greentext


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Deborah is a very specific type of pet... | /r/Greentext


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The Russian | /r/Greentext


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Anon is into some kinky shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:01:50 No.3803848 What would you rather be killed by? >Grizzly >Great white >Tiger >Gorilla If you say "none of the above" you're gay. 115 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:05:23 No.3803851 >>3803848 (OP) # all of the above >>3803853 # >>3803856 #
: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:01:50 No.3803848 What would you rather be killed by? >Grizzly >Great white >Tiger >Gorilla If you say "none of the above" you're gay. 115 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:05:23 No.3803851 >>3803848 (OP) # all of the above >>3803853 # >>3803856 #

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Anon burns his balls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/18(Sun)15:32:19 No.762452137 story time /b/ >be me >few years back >be 15 >notice pubes look like vietnam >have a razor with interchangeable 522 KB PNG blades >use new one for balls >put cream on, shave balls >smooth >little rashy >see aftershave >idea.exe >put aftershave on hands, rub all over balls >feels good man >30 seconds later, balls are on fire >Ow >jump in shower, use cold water >f------ makes it worse >trying to not scream, don't want to spook parents >point showerhead down, use warm water >sit in shower, let balls soak in warm water >cry >30 minutes later, pain is gone >balls are smooth as marble >repeat this once every month >never had shaggy balls again
: Anonymous 03/11/18(Sun)15:32:19 No.762452137 story time /b/ >be me >few years back >be 15 >notice pubes look like vietnam >have a razor with interchangeable 522 KB PNG blades >use new one for balls >put cream on, shave balls >smooth >little rashy >see aftershave >idea.exe >put aftershave on hands, rub all over balls >feels good man >30 seconds later, balls are on fire >Ow >jump in shower, use cold water >f------ makes it worse >trying to not scream, don't want to spook parents >point showerhead down, use warm water >sit in shower, let balls soak in warm water >cry >30 minutes later, pain is gone >balls are smooth as marble >repeat this once every month >never had shaggy balls again

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Anon learns Greek | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 05/28/21(Fri)17:58:37 No.145797289 >Surname translates to "c---" 44 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/28/21 (Fri)17:59:18 No.145797324 : Anonymous . 05/28/21 (Fri)17:59:50 No.145797351 >get taught greek in school when 9 >teacher tells us what our names mean in greek >tells girl named emma that her name means blood in greek >she starts crying 60 KB JPG >>145797631 #
: Anonymous E 05/28/21(Fri)17:58:37 No.145797289 >Surname translates to "c---" 44 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/28/21 (Fri)17:59:18 No.145797324 : Anonymous . 05/28/21 (Fri)17:59:50 No.145797351 >get taught greek in school when 9 >teacher tells us what our names mean in greek >tells girl named emma that her name means blood in greek >she starts crying 60 KB JPG >>145797631 #

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Anon is trying | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/19(Wed)23:08:32 No.803753292 >be me in high school >get bullied everyday by a bunch of jocks >l see the jocks at the end of the hallway >they are slowly approaching >not today jocks >this is the last straw.mp3 26 KB JPG >quickly open up from locker >it's showtime.jpg >grab my Naruto Shippuden headband out of my locker and place in around my head >the jocks are only a few metres away now >give their leader a death stare and slam my locker door while remaining eye contact >"what are you looking at you little f--?" Says the jock leader >start charging up my rasengan >l've been practicing my rasengan for weeks, hopefully my training has paid off. >the jock laughs and shoves me to the ground >hear a group of girls laughing >l go to the bathroom and cry ifunny.co
: Anonymous 07/03/19(Wed)23:08:32 No.803753292 >be me in high school >get bullied everyday by a bunch of jocks >l see the jocks at the end of the hallway >they are slowly approaching >not today jocks >this is the last straw.mp3 26 KB JPG >quickly open up from locker >it's showtime.jpg >grab my Naruto Shippuden headband out of my locker and place in around my head >the jocks are only a few metres away now >give their leader a death stare and slam my locker door while remaining eye contact >"what are you looking at you little f--?" Says the jock leader >start charging up my rasengan >l've been practicing my rasengan for weeks, hopefully my training has paid off. >the jock laughs and shoves me to the ground >hear a group of girls laughing >l go to the bathroom and cry ifunny.co

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please get your shit together, don't be like anon. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)06:38:31 No.845288878 >watch p--- >mom walks in >quickly change to other tab so mom dont see >it's /b/ >first thread is loli thread 12 KB JPG >i'm 32 years old
: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)06:38:31 No.845288878 >watch p--- >mom walks in >quickly change to other tab so mom dont see >it's /b/ >first thread is loli thread 12 KB JPG >i'm 32 years old

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Anon shares a discovery | /r/Greentext


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Anon is right | /r/Greentext


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Anon pulls a prank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank
: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank

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Anon proves a point | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a conversation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)01:00:36 No.63873977 >some 16 y o girl from my school adds me on snapchat >sends me a few snaps >i dont answer cause of autism >she complains >i send her a few snaps >she tells me i have a cool style >she asks me to send her a video of my room 28 KB JPG >weird but ok >she asks why i have such a small bed >she asks how i make out with girls in this small bed >i tell her i dont >asks if ive ever had a gf >not really >"so ur still a virgin" >thats getting a bit too private >"haha sorry" W-- this is weird and creepy
: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)01:00:36 No.63873977 >some 16 y o girl from my school adds me on snapchat >sends me a few snaps >i dont answer cause of autism >she complains >i send her a few snaps >she tells me i have a cool style >she asks me to send her a video of my room 28 KB JPG >weird but ok >she asks why i have such a small bed >she asks how i make out with girls in this small bed >i tell her i dont >asks if ive ever had a gf >not really >"so ur still a virgin" >thats getting a bit too private >"haha sorry" W-- this is weird and creepy

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Anon loses 100 pounds | /r/Greentext

File: usa.jpg (1.67 MB, 6792x3656) Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:00:56 No.63879966 [Reply] >>63879978 >>63879991 >I lost one hundred pounds! :D Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:01:37 No.63879974 File: uk.png (6 KB, 1500x750) >I lost one hundred pounds.. >:(
File: usa.jpg (1.67 MB, 6792x3656) Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:00:56 No.63879966 [Reply] >>63879978 >>63879991 >I lost one hundred pounds! :D Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:01:37 No.63879974 File: uk.png (6 KB, 1500x750) >I lost one hundred pounds.. >:(

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anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:10:21 No.556949938 >>556951997 >>556961050 >>556947957(OP) i wish clown girls were an actual race of people: >their entire skin is white >the clown nose is natural >their n------ and p---- lips have alternate colors, sometimes the same as the lips >their skin probably taste funny >imagine the taste of their breast milk >grabbing their breasts/ass causes an honk noise Anonymous 05/26/21 (Wed)02:22:39 No.556951076 Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:32:38 No.556951997 >>556949938 >want to playfully grope clownwifes butt in public >loud ass honk is heard echoing from her >everyone turns to you two knowing full well what is going on >she embarrassingly honks her nose trying to play it off
Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:10:21 No.556949938 >>556951997 >>556961050 >>556947957(OP) i wish clown girls were an actual race of people: >their entire skin is white >the clown nose is natural >their n------ and p---- lips have alternate colors, sometimes the same as the lips >their skin probably taste funny >imagine the taste of their breast milk >grabbing their breasts/ass causes an honk noise Anonymous 05/26/21 (Wed)02:22:39 No.556951076 Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:32:38 No.556951997 >>556949938 >want to playfully grope clownwifes butt in public >loud ass honk is heard echoing from her >everyone turns to you two knowing full well what is going on >she embarrassingly honks her nose trying to play it off

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