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Anon is into some kinky shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:01:50 No.3803848 What would you rather be killed by? >Grizzly >Great white >Tiger >Gorilla If you say "none of the above" you're gay. 115 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:05:23 No.3803851 >>3803848 (OP) # all of the above >>3803853 # >>3803856 #
: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:01:50 No.3803848 What would you rather be killed by? >Grizzly >Great white >Tiger >Gorilla If you say "none of the above" you're gay. 115 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:05:23 No.3803851 >>3803848 (OP) # all of the above >>3803853 # >>3803856 #

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Anon burns his balls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/18(Sun)15:32:19 No.762452137 story time /b/ >be me >few years back >be 15 >notice pubes look like vietnam >have a razor with interchangeable 522 KB PNG blades >use new one for balls >put cream on, shave balls >smooth >little rashy >see aftershave >idea.exe >put aftershave on hands, rub all over balls >feels good man >30 seconds later, balls are on fire >Ow >jump in shower, use cold water >f------ makes it worse >trying to not scream, don't want to spook parents >point showerhead down, use warm water >sit in shower, let balls soak in warm water >cry >30 minutes later, pain is gone >balls are smooth as marble >repeat this once every month >never had shaggy balls again
: Anonymous 03/11/18(Sun)15:32:19 No.762452137 story time /b/ >be me >few years back >be 15 >notice pubes look like vietnam >have a razor with interchangeable 522 KB PNG blades >use new one for balls >put cream on, shave balls >smooth >little rashy >see aftershave >idea.exe >put aftershave on hands, rub all over balls >feels good man >30 seconds later, balls are on fire >Ow >jump in shower, use cold water >f------ makes it worse >trying to not scream, don't want to spook parents >point showerhead down, use warm water >sit in shower, let balls soak in warm water >cry >30 minutes later, pain is gone >balls are smooth as marble >repeat this once every month >never had shaggy balls again

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Anon learns Greek | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 05/28/21(Fri)17:58:37 No.145797289 >Surname translates to "c---" 44 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/28/21 (Fri)17:59:18 No.145797324 : Anonymous . 05/28/21 (Fri)17:59:50 No.145797351 >get taught greek in school when 9 >teacher tells us what our names mean in greek >tells girl named emma that her name means blood in greek >she starts crying 60 KB JPG >>145797631 #
: Anonymous E 05/28/21(Fri)17:58:37 No.145797289 >Surname translates to "c---" 44 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/28/21 (Fri)17:59:18 No.145797324 : Anonymous . 05/28/21 (Fri)17:59:50 No.145797351 >get taught greek in school when 9 >teacher tells us what our names mean in greek >tells girl named emma that her name means blood in greek >she starts crying 60 KB JPG >>145797631 #

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Anon is trying | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/19(Wed)23:08:32 No.803753292 >be me in high school >get bullied everyday by a bunch of jocks >l see the jocks at the end of the hallway >they are slowly approaching >not today jocks >this is the last straw.mp3 26 KB JPG >quickly open up from locker >it's showtime.jpg >grab my Naruto Shippuden headband out of my locker and place in around my head >the jocks are only a few metres away now >give their leader a death stare and slam my locker door while remaining eye contact >"what are you looking at you little f--?" Says the jock leader >start charging up my rasengan >l've been practicing my rasengan for weeks, hopefully my training has paid off. >the jock laughs and shoves me to the ground >hear a group of girls laughing >l go to the bathroom and cry ifunny.co
: Anonymous 07/03/19(Wed)23:08:32 No.803753292 >be me in high school >get bullied everyday by a bunch of jocks >l see the jocks at the end of the hallway >they are slowly approaching >not today jocks >this is the last straw.mp3 26 KB JPG >quickly open up from locker >it's showtime.jpg >grab my Naruto Shippuden headband out of my locker and place in around my head >the jocks are only a few metres away now >give their leader a death stare and slam my locker door while remaining eye contact >"what are you looking at you little f--?" Says the jock leader >start charging up my rasengan >l've been practicing my rasengan for weeks, hopefully my training has paid off. >the jock laughs and shoves me to the ground >hear a group of girls laughing >l go to the bathroom and cry ifunny.co

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please get your shit together, don't be like anon. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)06:38:31 No.845288878 >watch p--- >mom walks in >quickly change to other tab so mom dont see >it's /b/ >first thread is loli thread 12 KB JPG >i'm 32 years old
: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)06:38:31 No.845288878 >watch p--- >mom walks in >quickly change to other tab so mom dont see >it's /b/ >first thread is loli thread 12 KB JPG >i'm 32 years old

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Anon shares a discovery | /r/Greentext


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Anon is right | /r/Greentext


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Anon pulls a prank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank
: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank

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Anon proves a point | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a conversation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)01:00:36 No.63873977 >some 16 y o girl from my school adds me on snapchat >sends me a few snaps >i dont answer cause of autism >she complains >i send her a few snaps >she tells me i have a cool style >she asks me to send her a video of my room 28 KB JPG >weird but ok >she asks why i have such a small bed >she asks how i make out with girls in this small bed >i tell her i dont >asks if ive ever had a gf >not really >"so ur still a virgin" >thats getting a bit too private >"haha sorry" W-- this is weird and creepy
: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)01:00:36 No.63873977 >some 16 y o girl from my school adds me on snapchat >sends me a few snaps >i dont answer cause of autism >she complains >i send her a few snaps >she tells me i have a cool style >she asks me to send her a video of my room 28 KB JPG >weird but ok >she asks why i have such a small bed >she asks how i make out with girls in this small bed >i tell her i dont >asks if ive ever had a gf >not really >"so ur still a virgin" >thats getting a bit too private >"haha sorry" W-- this is weird and creepy

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Anon loses 100 pounds | /r/Greentext

File: usa.jpg (1.67 MB, 6792x3656) Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:00:56 No.63879966 [Reply] >>63879978 >>63879991 >I lost one hundred pounds! :D Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:01:37 No.63879974 File: uk.png (6 KB, 1500x750) >I lost one hundred pounds.. >:(
File: usa.jpg (1.67 MB, 6792x3656) Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:00:56 No.63879966 [Reply] >>63879978 >>63879991 >I lost one hundred pounds! :D Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:01:37 No.63879974 File: uk.png (6 KB, 1500x750) >I lost one hundred pounds.. >:(

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anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:10:21 No.556949938 >>556951997 >>556961050 >>556947957(OP) i wish clown girls were an actual race of people: >their entire skin is white >the clown nose is natural >their n------ and p---- lips have alternate colors, sometimes the same as the lips >their skin probably taste funny >imagine the taste of their breast milk >grabbing their breasts/ass causes an honk noise Anonymous 05/26/21 (Wed)02:22:39 No.556951076 Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:32:38 No.556951997 >>556949938 >want to playfully grope clownwifes butt in public >loud ass honk is heard echoing from her >everyone turns to you two knowing full well what is going on >she embarrassingly honks her nose trying to play it off
Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:10:21 No.556949938 >>556951997 >>556961050 >>556947957(OP) i wish clown girls were an actual race of people: >their entire skin is white >the clown nose is natural >their n------ and p---- lips have alternate colors, sometimes the same as the lips >their skin probably taste funny >imagine the taste of their breast milk >grabbing their breasts/ass causes an honk noise Anonymous 05/26/21 (Wed)02:22:39 No.556951076 Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:32:38 No.556951997 >>556949938 >want to playfully grope clownwifes butt in public >loud ass honk is heard echoing from her >everyone turns to you two knowing full well what is going on >she embarrassingly honks her nose trying to play it off

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Anon wants a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I deserve a gf 11/27/18(Tue)04:35:35 No.49522816 >l'm white >l'm young >l'm physically healthy >l'm not a manlet(over 6'0" / 183cm) >My peepee is 7x5in / 18x13cm >l have a strong sense of morality 120 KB JPG >l have a strong sense of honor >I have a favourable personality >l've been told I am handsome >I can protect my wife and offspring from predators >I can provide resources and coverture for my wife and children >l am good with children and would make a good father >I can cook >l'm a strong swimmer >l have good taste in anime I deserve a gf : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)07:56:21 No.49524715 >>49522816 (OP) # >I have good taste in anime. Thats how you dry up their p---- like a desert you autist.
: Anonymous I deserve a gf 11/27/18(Tue)04:35:35 No.49522816 >l'm white >l'm young >l'm physically healthy >l'm not a manlet(over 6'0" / 183cm) >My peepee is 7x5in / 18x13cm >l have a strong sense of morality 120 KB JPG >l have a strong sense of honor >I have a favourable personality >l've been told I am handsome >I can protect my wife and offspring from predators >I can provide resources and coverture for my wife and children >l am good with children and would make a good father >I can cook >l'm a strong swimmer >l have good taste in anime I deserve a gf : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)07:56:21 No.49524715 >>49522816 (OP) # >I have good taste in anime. Thats how you dry up their p---- like a desert you autist.

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C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER the | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)20:26:30 No.62493625 >be me >loner virgin who congregates with other loner virgins >month before senior prom >always hear them complain bout how their moms ask them if they have a gf 21 KB JPG >my mom has never asked me this >go home and watch some l---- p--- >come down for dinner >just me and mom >she stays quiet for a second before saying >"anon my friend has a kid who has no one to go to prom with would you go with them >what the f--- >she skipped all the f------ steps and just assumed i was f----- >lightbulb.jpg >realise i have a date with an actual female >say yes and go full chad mode for a month >know im f------ ripped because the local gay kid mike keeps eyeballing me >night of prom comes >date is coming to my house instead >heart is f----- pounding >hear knock on door >open it >.... >its mike
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)20:26:30 No.62493625 >be me >loner virgin who congregates with other loner virgins >month before senior prom >always hear them complain bout how their moms ask them if they have a gf 21 KB JPG >my mom has never asked me this >go home and watch some l---- p--- >come down for dinner >just me and mom >she stays quiet for a second before saying >"anon my friend has a kid who has no one to go to prom with would you go with them >what the f--- >she skipped all the f------ steps and just assumed i was f----- >lightbulb.jpg >realise i have a date with an actual female >say yes and go full chad mode for a month >know im f------ ripped because the local gay kid mike keeps eyeballing me >night of prom comes >date is coming to my house instead >heart is f----- pounding >hear knock on door >open it >.... >its mike

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Well if you’re posting on 4chan then it’s a pretty reasonable assumption | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/27/19(Sun)22:25:39 No.812748545 >go eat at local pizza place >eat entire large peperoni pizza >still hungry >Too embarassed to order more cause qt cashier will think I'm a f------ fatass >pretend go get a call from friend 6 KB JPG >stage an entire 3 minute conversation >end call asking him if he wants anything from the pizza place >order another pizza to go for "friend" >proceed to devour the pizza in my car >cashier walks up to my car with my backpack >sees i'm halfway done with my "friends" pizza >"you forgot your backpack" >l smile and nod with my mouth full >she f------ giggles and walks away F------ bitch I've never been this embarassed in my life. I can never go back there
: Anonymous 10/27/19(Sun)22:25:39 No.812748545 >go eat at local pizza place >eat entire large peperoni pizza >still hungry >Too embarassed to order more cause qt cashier will think I'm a f------ fatass >pretend go get a call from friend 6 KB JPG >stage an entire 3 minute conversation >end call asking him if he wants anything from the pizza place >order another pizza to go for "friend" >proceed to devour the pizza in my car >cashier walks up to my car with my backpack >sees i'm halfway done with my "friends" pizza >"you forgot your backpack" >l smile and nod with my mouth full >she f------ giggles and walks away F------ bitch I've never been this embarassed in my life. I can never go back there

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Anon meets a Chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon has a cool grandpa | /r/Greentext

lal Anonymous 07/28/20(Tue)02:41:37 No.206446180 >Had my grandpa over today, he's 84 and l'm 20 >We were talking about trends and such and the discussion moved over to the Japanese somehow >"Yeah those cartoons they make are a huge industry over there. Their animation probably racks in billions each year and it's enjoyed by people all over the world, the animation was inspired directly by Walt Disney's work and made into a whole new industry." 201 KB JPG >"Really?" >"Yeah wanna watch one with me?" >"Yeah show me one." >Show him the first episode of One Punch Man on Netflix >"H-------- Anon that was great." >He especially liked the crabman and the kid with a pair of balls for a chin >We went out for Icecream after and I dropped him off home >Get a call about 30 minutes ago >"Anon I was trying to take a nap, but I can't stop thinking about that One Punch Man, can we watch more tomorrow?" Sorry to blogpost but I love my Grandpa and I thought this would be a nice story to share. What are /al's experiences in introducing friends and family to anime?
lal Anonymous 07/28/20(Tue)02:41:37 No.206446180 >Had my grandpa over today, he's 84 and l'm 20 >We were talking about trends and such and the discussion moved over to the Japanese somehow >"Yeah those cartoons they make are a huge industry over there. Their animation probably racks in billions each year and it's enjoyed by people all over the world, the animation was inspired directly by Walt Disney's work and made into a whole new industry." 201 KB JPG >"Really?" >"Yeah wanna watch one with me?" >"Yeah show me one." >Show him the first episode of One Punch Man on Netflix >"H-------- Anon that was great." >He especially liked the crabman and the kid with a pair of balls for a chin >We went out for Icecream after and I dropped him off home >Get a call about 30 minutes ago >"Anon I was trying to take a nap, but I can't stop thinking about that One Punch Man, can we watch more tomorrow?" Sorry to blogpost but I love my Grandpa and I thought this would be a nice story to share. What are /al's experiences in introducing friends and family to anime?

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Anon is a true American | /r/Greentext

Verizon 8:02 PM 56% : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)19:02:40 No.855542747 >Be me, true American >Watching baseball and eating healthy meal of freedom fries covered in 10 cups of cheese >Realize I still need a fruit >Pour entire ketchup bottle all over 23 KB JPG fries >Worry it's not enough >Grab six bottles of Crush to wash it down >Worry I'm being too healthy >Dump two salt shakers onto fries >Much better >Baseball game is interrupted >Evil liberal president is speaking >He says that all cancer will end worldwide if we all wear 2 socks on our right feet for 10 seconds a day. >Proves this beyond a doubt using science >Says we are all now required to do so and how great it is that cancer will now disappear forever >Rage at the egregious affront against my freedom >Throw freedom fries at TV >The communist expects me to lift a finger to make the world a better place to live >Call up friends >Hold riots where we burn all the socks we can find >Burn clothing stores that sell socks >Tear socks off the feet of pedestrians >Feel proud of the rising rates of cancer knowing we protected our freedom >George Washington would be so proud of us
Verizon 8:02 PM 56% : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)19:02:40 No.855542747 >Be me, true American >Watching baseball and eating healthy meal of freedom fries covered in 10 cups of cheese >Realize I still need a fruit >Pour entire ketchup bottle all over 23 KB JPG fries >Worry it's not enough >Grab six bottles of Crush to wash it down >Worry I'm being too healthy >Dump two salt shakers onto fries >Much better >Baseball game is interrupted >Evil liberal president is speaking >He says that all cancer will end worldwide if we all wear 2 socks on our right feet for 10 seconds a day. >Proves this beyond a doubt using science >Says we are all now required to do so and how great it is that cancer will now disappear forever >Rage at the egregious affront against my freedom >Throw freedom fries at TV >The communist expects me to lift a finger to make the world a better place to live >Call up friends >Hold riots where we burn all the socks we can find >Burn clothing stores that sell socks >Tear socks off the feet of pedestrians >Feel proud of the rising rates of cancer knowing we protected our freedom >George Washington would be so proud of us

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