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Anon is very drunk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:25:00 No.50676323 >p--- blaring on the computer >drunk again >bottle of vodka right on the desk >d--- in my hand >moaning s--- like oh yeah baby f--- me look at that f----- ass 85 KB JPG >my dad walks up and closes my door >the door was open >puke into the bin and blackout >wake up in a dark room on the floor next to my bed >parents are talking and mom might be crying : Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:37:35 No.50676520 >talking to p--- are you mentally disabled? >>50676592 #
: Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:25:00 No.50676323 >p--- blaring on the computer >drunk again >bottle of vodka right on the desk >d--- in my hand >moaning s--- like oh yeah baby f--- me look at that f----- ass 85 KB JPG >my dad walks up and closes my door >the door was open >puke into the bin and blackout >wake up in a dark room on the floor next to my bed >parents are talking and mom might be crying : Anonymous 01/28/19(Mon)18:37:35 No.50676520 >talking to p--- are you mentally disabled? >>50676592 #

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why take medicine then? ;) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)10:25:21 No.763744016 >be me >28, live with wife >wake up in the morning to the smell of bacon and eggs >walk downstairs to greet my wife in the kitchen 65 KB PNG >she smiles at me >happiness >go over to medicine cabinet >hear my beautiful wife humming in the background >take my meds >2mg risperdal >turn to wife >she's gone >start cooking bacon and eggs
: Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)10:25:21 No.763744016 >be me >28, live with wife >wake up in the morning to the smell of bacon and eggs >walk downstairs to greet my wife in the kitchen 65 KB PNG >she smiles at me >happiness >go over to medicine cabinet >hear my beautiful wife humming in the background >take my meds >2mg risperdal >turn to wife >she's gone >start cooking bacon and eggs

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Anon is a helpful brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 792698618 50 min ago ••• >be me, 26 m a few years ago >little sister calls me to ask if I can buy Girl Scout cookies >buy two boxes of thin mints >idea.png >tell little sister l'll make her tons of money >tell her to let me handle everything >turn on my computer >l'm a f------ genius >start selling "mystery boxes" through the dark web 81.4 kB JPG >there's an estimate shipment date of 2-3 weeks for the cookies to arrive >l sell a mystery box for $200 a pop >End up selling about 60-70 mystery boxes in three days >tell my sister >she is super happy >feelsgoodman >sister sold the most and got some award >mfw I operated an underground cookie ring >mfw I got contacted by the local police for shipping all those boxes of Girl Scout cookies but proved there was nothing illegal about it |
Anonymous | 792698618 50 min ago ••• >be me, 26 m a few years ago >little sister calls me to ask if I can buy Girl Scout cookies >buy two boxes of thin mints >idea.png >tell little sister l'll make her tons of money >tell her to let me handle everything >turn on my computer >l'm a f------ genius >start selling "mystery boxes" through the dark web 81.4 kB JPG >there's an estimate shipment date of 2-3 weeks for the cookies to arrive >l sell a mystery box for $200 a pop >End up selling about 60-70 mystery boxes in three days >tell my sister >she is super happy >feelsgoodman >sister sold the most and got some award >mfw I operated an underground cookie ring >mfw I got contacted by the local police for shipping all those boxes of Girl Scout cookies but proved there was nothing illegal about it |

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None of the above | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:01:50 No.3803848 What would you rather be killed by? >Grizzly >Great white >Tiger >Gorilla If you say "none of the above" you're gay. 115 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:05:23 No.3803851 >>3803848 (OP) # all of the above >>3803853 # >>3803856 #
: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:01:50 No.3803848 What would you rather be killed by? >Grizzly >Great white >Tiger >Gorilla If you say "none of the above" you're gay. 115 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:05:23 No.3803851 >>3803848 (OP) # all of the above >>3803853 # >>3803856 #

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Anon went to poo | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets banned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)23:11:23 No.855636137 >be me >shitposting on b >get notification telling me i got banned for posting cp >f--- this >go on reddit >see notification >banned 117 KB PNG >tells me i was banned for posting lolis >f--- this >going outside >open door >guy in an fbi coat grabs me and throws me in his van
: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)23:11:23 No.855636137 >be me >shitposting on b >get notification telling me i got banned for posting cp >f--- this >go on reddit >see notification >banned 117 KB PNG >tells me i was banned for posting lolis >f--- this >going outside >open door >guy in an fbi coat grabs me and throws me in his van

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Anons work isn’t appreciated | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 10/23/17(Mon)23:27:58 No.40623659 Job Greentexts This happened last night. >Get job at McDonalds, need cash >Work in the back arranging the meals >qt 3.14 comes in with~8 yo daughter, asks for a chicken nugget Happy Meal 225 KB PNG >daughter is really polite to casier, says please and everything >throw in an extra nugget because of her kindness >few mins later, manager tells me to mop a spill >its right next to the mom and her daughter >evesdrop on them >"Mommy look, the people in the back gave me an extra nugget, why?" >mom replies, "Its because they're dumb enough to work here that they cant count" >mfw >mom and daughter laugh while I walk away Why are people so unappreciative? 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
| Anonymous 10/23/17(Mon)23:27:58 No.40623659 Job Greentexts This happened last night. >Get job at McDonalds, need cash >Work in the back arranging the meals >qt 3.14 comes in with~8 yo daughter, asks for a chicken nugget Happy Meal 225 KB PNG >daughter is really polite to casier, says please and everything >throw in an extra nugget because of her kindness >few mins later, manager tells me to mop a spill >its right next to the mom and her daughter >evesdrop on them >"Mommy look, the people in the back gave me an extra nugget, why?" >mom replies, "Its because they're dumb enough to work here that they cant count" >mfw >mom and daughter laugh while I walk away Why are people so unappreciative? 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon hates his life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 3B8+p4iK) 05/30/21(Sun)08:45:07 No.36637599 >Be me >almost 30 >am a f------ cook at a local fast food joint >I live in a small town so business is pretty limited >where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates >l'd get the hell out of this town if I could drive >failed every damn driving test I've ever taken >also socially awkward, even my only other co- 88 KB PNG worker f------ hates my guts >repressed lust for one of my best friends too; she's athletic, smart and a gorgeous southern bell. >been friend zoned real hard. She's my only real friend, besides this one kid, who I'm pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged >I guess he's the only one that can tolerate me The f--- do I do bros? I'll tell you guys the worst part if anyone here gets dubs. : Anonymous (ID: GGKeNrCa 05/30/21(Sun)08:47:06 No.36637679 >>36637599 (OP) # how did you not use video games to learn how to drive how can any human be this uncoordinated Female Asians are getting their driver's licenses right this very second Imagine if someone said to you "I never learned how to run" : Anonymous (ID: VNDMJN+G 05/30/21 (Sun)08:49:28 No.36637775 >>36637599 (OP) # You got the dubs, now tell us the worst part >>36638329 # : Anonymous (ID: FBzOUkf/ ) 05/30/21(Sun)08:51:35 No.36637862 Checkem : Anonymous (ID: X3NZDVHE 05/30/21(Sun)08:51:42 No.36637868 >>36637599 (OP) # Checked your dubs OP. So what's your disgusting fetish? >>36638329 # : Anonymous (ID: QBX11Y67 ) 05/30/21(Sun)08:58:25 No.36638155 USPS is always hiring >>36638256 # >>36638376 # : Anonymous (ID: GHZazr/x 05/30/21(Sun)09:00:16 No.36638222 >>36637599 (OP) # Your life sounds like the basis for a comedy series, write a pilot script roughly based on your life >>36638329 # >>36638376 # : Anonymous (ID: HHNSuOto) 05/30/21(Sun)09:00:26 No.36638228 how do you fail a drivers test? >>36638329 # >>36638423 # : Anonymous (ID: XQa1YYJI 05/30/21(Sun)09:01:07 No.36638256 >>36638155 # Checked , spill the beans sperg. : Anonymous (ID: vmQagdr1 ) 05/30/21(Sun)09:03:00 No.36638321 >>36637599 (OP) # wow what an easy life. just learn a trade, plumber, electrician..something like that. also learn to drive. Everything else you said is irrelevant. : Anonymous (ID: 3B8+p4iK) 05/30/21(Sun)09:03:09 No.36638329 >>36637775 # >>36637868 # >>36638222 # >>36638228 # i live in a pineapple under the see 45 KB JPG >>36638448 # >>36638453 # >>36638507 # >>36638526 # >>36638553 #
: Anonymous (ID: 3B8+p4iK) 05/30/21(Sun)08:45:07 No.36637599 >Be me >almost 30 >am a f------ cook at a local fast food joint >I live in a small town so business is pretty limited >where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates >l'd get the hell out of this town if I could drive >failed every damn driving test I've ever taken >also socially awkward, even my only other co- 88 KB PNG worker f------ hates my guts >repressed lust for one of my best friends too; she's athletic, smart and a gorgeous southern bell. >been friend zoned real hard. She's my only real friend, besides this one kid, who I'm pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged >I guess he's the only one that can tolerate me The f--- do I do bros? I'll tell you guys the worst part if anyone here gets dubs. : Anonymous (ID: GGKeNrCa 05/30/21(Sun)08:47:06 No.36637679 >>36637599 (OP) # how did you not use video games to learn how to drive how can any human be this uncoordinated Female Asians are getting their driver's licenses right this very second Imagine if someone said to you "I never learned how to run" : Anonymous (ID: VNDMJN+G 05/30/21 (Sun)08:49:28 No.36637775 >>36637599 (OP) # You got the dubs, now tell us the worst part >>36638329 # : Anonymous (ID: FBzOUkf/ ) 05/30/21(Sun)08:51:35 No.36637862 Checkem : Anonymous (ID: X3NZDVHE 05/30/21(Sun)08:51:42 No.36637868 >>36637599 (OP) # Checked your dubs OP. So what's your disgusting fetish? >>36638329 # : Anonymous (ID: QBX11Y67 ) 05/30/21(Sun)08:58:25 No.36638155 USPS is always hiring >>36638256 # >>36638376 # : Anonymous (ID: GHZazr/x 05/30/21(Sun)09:00:16 No.36638222 >>36637599 (OP) # Your life sounds like the basis for a comedy series, write a pilot script roughly based on your life >>36638329 # >>36638376 # : Anonymous (ID: HHNSuOto) 05/30/21(Sun)09:00:26 No.36638228 how do you fail a drivers test? >>36638329 # >>36638423 # : Anonymous (ID: XQa1YYJI 05/30/21(Sun)09:01:07 No.36638256 >>36638155 # Checked , spill the beans sperg. : Anonymous (ID: vmQagdr1 ) 05/30/21(Sun)09:03:00 No.36638321 >>36637599 (OP) # wow what an easy life. just learn a trade, plumber, electrician..something like that. also learn to drive. Everything else you said is irrelevant. : Anonymous (ID: 3B8+p4iK) 05/30/21(Sun)09:03:09 No.36638329 >>36637775 # >>36637868 # >>36638222 # >>36638228 # i live in a pineapple under the see 45 KB JPG >>36638448 # >>36638453 # >>36638507 # >>36638526 # >>36638553 #

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Anon is Maroon 5 | /r/Greentext

>enter gym >I GOT THEM MOVES LIKE JAGGER I GOT THEM MOOO0000OVES LIKE JAGGER
>enter gym >I GOT THEM MOVES LIKE JAGGER I GOT THEM MOOO0000OVES LIKE JAGGER

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anon spites god | /r/Greentext

05/26/21(Wed)09:52:34 No.8553411E >make fun of cripples on the internet for years >god probably didn't like it cause my son was born crippled >continue to make fun of 15 KB JPG cripples regardless you can't outsmart me, old fella
05/26/21(Wed)09:52:34 No.8553411E >make fun of cripples on the internet for years >god probably didn't like it cause my son was born crippled >continue to make fun of 15 KB JPG cripples regardless you can't outsmart me, old fella

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Anon is a gay bitch | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 774692608 25 min. ago > 10 years ago I was afraid to post here thinking you guys are all hackers and badass >now I realize you are all a bunch of f------ 5.6 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 4 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 774692704 24 min. ago >>774692608 (OP) >welcome home you gay bitch 1 REPLY
Anonymous | 774692608 25 min. ago > 10 years ago I was afraid to post here thinking you guys are all hackers and badass >now I realize you are all a bunch of f------ 5.6 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 4 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 774692704 24 min. ago >>774692608 (OP) >welcome home you gay bitch 1 REPLY

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Anon is an Anomaly. | /r/Greentext

> be me 5 years ago > found out about 4chan > notices that a lot of people are named anon > thought it was a cool name > mfw i actually i believed that anon is a real name 27 KB JPG > mfw when i learned that it stands for anonmaly
> be me 5 years ago > found out about 4chan > notices that a lot of people are named anon > thought it was a cool name > mfw i actually i believed that anon is a real name 27 KB JPG > mfw when i learned that it stands for anonmaly

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Anon has sleep paralysis | /r/Greentext


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Anon is posting like it's 2009. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)20:34:24 No.557469689 Oblivion >be skyrimfag >play skyrim all life >get bored of skyrim >depression.jpeg >have genius thought only the arch-mage of the college of winterhold could 158 KB JPG concieve >order oblivion for xbox 360 off eBay >wait for days just staring at the mailbox >OMGYOUCAME.wav >pop it in the disc tray >pure ecstacy so00o good. I might actually like it better than Skyrim. Take the oblivionpill. It's worth it.
: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)20:34:24 No.557469689 Oblivion >be skyrimfag >play skyrim all life >get bored of skyrim >depression.jpeg >have genius thought only the arch-mage of the college of winterhold could 158 KB JPG concieve >order oblivion for xbox 360 off eBay >wait for days just staring at the mailbox >OMGYOUCAME.wav >pop it in the disc tray >pure ecstacy so00o good. I might actually like it better than Skyrim. Take the oblivionpill. It's worth it.

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Anon likes his boss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread

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Anon remembers Halloween | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ? 10/31/18(Wed)18:44:49 No.6799421 >1993 >older boy in neighborhood is always playing pranks >Halloween night he puts out huge bowl of candy >bowl sits in chair in the center of the yard with a sign that reads "please take only one piece" >kid hides in house upstairs with the lights off >spends night shooting at people who take more than one piece with a BB gun from a cracked open second story window.
: Anonymous ? 10/31/18(Wed)18:44:49 No.6799421 >1993 >older boy in neighborhood is always playing pranks >Halloween night he puts out huge bowl of candy >bowl sits in chair in the center of the yard with a sign that reads "please take only one piece" >kid hides in house upstairs with the lights off >spends night shooting at people who take more than one piece with a BB gun from a cracked open second story window.

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Anon is a freak | /r/Greentext


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Anon visit late parent’s house | /r/Greentext

File: 1488847794359.jpg (64 KB, 633x758) O Anonymous 10/18/20(Sun)18:01:36 No.60530724 >>60531021 >Going through dead parents house >They kept everything from my childhood >Every school book >Every scrap of paper I scribbled on >Every toy or game I played with >Every photo of me >All my old clothes and baby shoes >Even my milk teeth What the f---? I thought they hated me
File: 1488847794359.jpg (64 KB, 633x758) O Anonymous 10/18/20(Sun)18:01:36 No.60530724 >>60531021 >Going through dead parents house >They kept everything from my childhood >Every school book >Every scrap of paper I scribbled on >Every toy or game I played with >Every photo of me >All my old clothes and baby shoes >Even my milk teeth What the f---? I thought they hated me

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Anon is pretty normal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)21:39:11 No.63904232 >21 years of age >still imagine myself in imaginary scenarios all the time (zombie apocalypse, action movie) >when l'm alone literally talk and SO THROW H A P ING SPARE act like I'm in said scenario 59 KB JPG am la manchild or just autistic
: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)21:39:11 No.63904232 >21 years of age >still imagine myself in imaginary scenarios all the time (zombie apocalypse, action movie) >when l'm alone literally talk and SO THROW H A P ING SPARE act like I'm in said scenario 59 KB JPG am la manchild or just autistic

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Anon celebrates New Year | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 >I take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every 195 KB PNG night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because l'll be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >l think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"
: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 >I take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every 195 KB PNG night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because l'll be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >l think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"

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