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Anon shaved his balls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/12/17(Sat)15:57:17 No.39025354 >be me >age 13 >watch p--- for the first time >notice guy in porns d--- has no hair >whatisthis.jpeg >am I different? >decide to a little manscaping 151 KB JPG >have no idea how to shave >grab spare razor blade, not in a case, just the blade >start to grate it gently on my balls >feelsgoodman.png >grate harder >grate too hard >slit open nutsuck >feelsbadman >bleeding profusely from b------- >worst and deepest pain l've ever experienced >bandage n------ >n------ swells with internal bleeding >Get blood on all my underwear in the following weeks like a girl on her period >finally stops >fap >c-- blood >go to doctor months later >horrible scar along n------ >"what the f--- is this, anon?" >ldk they must've butchered my circumcision Mfw
: Anonymous 08/12/17(Sat)15:57:17 No.39025354 >be me >age 13 >watch p--- for the first time >notice guy in porns d--- has no hair >whatisthis.jpeg >am I different? >decide to a little manscaping 151 KB JPG >have no idea how to shave >grab spare razor blade, not in a case, just the blade >start to grate it gently on my balls >feelsgoodman.png >grate harder >grate too hard >slit open nutsuck >feelsbadman >bleeding profusely from b------- >worst and deepest pain l've ever experienced >bandage n------ >n------ swells with internal bleeding >Get blood on all my underwear in the following weeks like a girl on her period >finally stops >fap >c-- blood >go to doctor months later >horrible scar along n------ >"what the f--- is this, anon?" >ldk they must've butchered my circumcision Mfw

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Anon’s a retard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/23/18(Sat)19:13:48 No.772383429 >be 9 >playing Paper Mario >halfway through game get to part where you have to buy a quest item from a store >shop owner (toad) says item is out of stock and will be in stock soon 309 KB PNG >assume it means I have to actually WAIT for it >spend 3 IRL months checking in the game to see if the item has come in stock yet >8 years later watching a speedrun of the game >realize you didn't have to f------ wait for it, you just had to f------ continue the game and it'd come after a checkpoint am I retarded 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/23/18(Sat)19:26:54 No.772384417 yes
: Anonymous 06/23/18(Sat)19:13:48 No.772383429 >be 9 >playing Paper Mario >halfway through game get to part where you have to buy a quest item from a store >shop owner (toad) says item is out of stock and will be in stock soon 309 KB PNG >assume it means I have to actually WAIT for it >spend 3 IRL months checking in the game to see if the item has come in stock yet >8 years later watching a speedrun of the game >realize you didn't have to f------ wait for it, you just had to f------ continue the game and it'd come after a checkpoint am I retarded 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/23/18(Sat)19:26:54 No.772384417 yes

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Anon is reasoning | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets dominated by a cockroach | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The s------- episode 02/15/19(Fri)09:01:33 No.50985132 >Taking a s--- >A huge cockroach comes out of a little hole in the wall facing me >lt just stands there, then turns sideways and twitches its antenna everywhere >Motionlessly stare at it >lt stops all motion too 104 KB JPG >Drop a s--- in the toilet >lt drops a s--- at pretty much the same time >Then it turns around and nonchalantly walks back into the hole I don't know of any words to accurately describe how this scenario made me feel. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous The s------- episode 02/15/19(Fri)09:01:33 No.50985132 >Taking a s--- >A huge cockroach comes out of a little hole in the wall facing me >lt just stands there, then turns sideways and twitches its antenna everywhere >Motionlessly stare at it >lt stops all motion too 104 KB JPG >Drop a s--- in the toilet >lt drops a s--- at pretty much the same time >Then it turns around and nonchalantly walks back into the hole I don't know of any words to accurately describe how this scenario made me feel. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is a rememberer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Mz+F72xl) 04/23/14(Wed)02:24:34 No.543522159 >be 3 years old >standing in the living room next to leather sofa >for no apparent reason think to myself "i will remember this moment" >still do
Anonymous (ID: Mz+F72xl) 04/23/14(Wed)02:24:34 No.543522159 >be 3 years old >standing in the living room next to leather sofa >for no apparent reason think to myself "i will remember this moment" >still do

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Anon’s cousin wants to go bowling with him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/18(Sat)23:56:44 No.49733868 >be me >beta suicidal virgin >go to uni >pretty miserable and not a lot of friends >most people know that i am depressed 99 KB PNG >get a text from a cousin >he tells me not to kill myself >w--.jpg >"did you also become on of those f--- who tell me not to cuz of no reasons?" >"no anon i have great plans. We gonna live together, get hella bitchez, play lots of vidya and have a f------ mansion." >mfw it is the best thing i have ever heard in my life >mfw someone wants me in their life >mfw it has been a week since that text but i am still happy Thank you, cousin 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 12/08/18(Sat)23:56:44 No.49733868 >be me >beta suicidal virgin >go to uni >pretty miserable and not a lot of friends >most people know that i am depressed 99 KB PNG >get a text from a cousin >he tells me not to kill myself >w--.jpg >"did you also become on of those f--- who tell me not to cuz of no reasons?" >"no anon i have great plans. We gonna live together, get hella bitchez, play lots of vidya and have a f------ mansion." >mfw it is the best thing i have ever heard in my life >mfw someone wants me in their life >mfw it has been a week since that text but i am still happy Thank you, cousin 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon slept with the whole class | /r/Greentext

>be me >taking standardized test >after test we are given the option to sleep >take a nap 7 KB JPG >i just slept with all the girls in my class >see ya later virgins
>be me >taking standardized test >after test we are given the option to sleep >take a nap 7 KB JPG >i just slept with all the girls in my class >see ya later virgins

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Anon goes visit his uncle in the hospital | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)15:49:12 No.38371043 >uncle was dying of cancer >on hospital bed >doctors said he had 1 day left to live >sad, go to my room and lock the door >radomly decide to do a blood sacrifice by sacrificing my life for his >drew a pentagram on a piece of paper 19 KB JPG and then cut my palm with a knife and soaked the paper with blood >prayed that my uncle gets better in exchange for my life >next day uncle makes a miraculous recovery This was just a coincidence r-right?
: Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)15:49:12 No.38371043 >uncle was dying of cancer >on hospital bed >doctors said he had 1 day left to live >sad, go to my room and lock the door >radomly decide to do a blood sacrifice by sacrificing my life for his >drew a pentagram on a piece of paper 19 KB JPG and then cut my palm with a knife and soaked the paper with blood >prayed that my uncle gets better in exchange for my life >next day uncle makes a miraculous recovery This was just a coincidence r-right?

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Anon is done | /r/Greentext

2h (4/11 21:16) · 63162749 JPG 29KB · (403 × 331) >>63159936 >meet a woman >find out she has feet Like I try to be open and tolerant about most things but man, that sort of s--- is just f----- ...
2h (4/11 21:16) · 63162749 JPG 29KB · (403 × 331) >>63159936 >meet a woman >find out she has feet Like I try to be open and tolerant about most things but man, that sort of s--- is just f----- ...

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Anon is a Warrio fan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)22:41:48 No.846579260 >Halloween 2016 >go to costume themed swingers party >dressed as Wario >a few hours in start talking to girl dressed as Princess Peach 89 KB PNG >she tells me 'lets make Mario jealous' >go to nearby Motel >get room >have odd RP sex >about to c-- >suddenly yell 'i'mma Wario, i'mma gunna c--!" >scream 'WWWAAHH!!!' While cuming >says it was the worst sex experience of her life Atleast i came tho
: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)22:41:48 No.846579260 >Halloween 2016 >go to costume themed swingers party >dressed as Wario >a few hours in start talking to girl dressed as Princess Peach 89 KB PNG >she tells me 'lets make Mario jealous' >go to nearby Motel >get room >have odd RP sex >about to c-- >suddenly yell 'i'mma Wario, i'mma gunna c--!" >scream 'WWWAAHH!!!' While cuming >says it was the worst sex experience of her life Atleast i came tho

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My mans really do be tossing inn the towel | /r/Greentext


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Anon fell for poop in attic meme | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/19(Thu)22:31:43 No.51572664 >fell for the throw your s--- in the attic meme >tfw parents are p-----, the damage costs a fortune to fix, and the smell isn't going away 71 KB JPG My parents are thinking of kicking me out. I'm seriously scared. : Anonymous 03/21/19(Thu)22:33:08 No.51572686 >>51572664 (OP) # ..what are you talking about? what meme? >>51572723 # Anonymous 03/21/19(Thu)22:35:37 No.51572723 >>51572686 # So you don't have to leave your room to s---, and so you don'thave to go in jugs, you can throw it in the attic. I have a little trap door to the attic in my closet. I threw my s--- up in there and you said squirrels will carry it away but they haven't it just builds up and damages the house.
: Anonymous 03/21/19(Thu)22:31:43 No.51572664 >fell for the throw your s--- in the attic meme >tfw parents are p-----, the damage costs a fortune to fix, and the smell isn't going away 71 KB JPG My parents are thinking of kicking me out. I'm seriously scared. : Anonymous 03/21/19(Thu)22:33:08 No.51572686 >>51572664 (OP) # ..what are you talking about? what meme? >>51572723 # Anonymous 03/21/19(Thu)22:35:37 No.51572723 >>51572686 # So you don't have to leave your room to s---, and so you don'thave to go in jugs, you can throw it in the attic. I have a little trap door to the attic in my closet. I threw my s--- up in there and you said squirrels will carry it away but they haven't it just builds up and damages the house.

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Anon takes a biology class | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a request | /r/Greentext


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Anon loves his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)09:12:38 No.63252075 >be me >m21 with f13 sister >live with dad because mom is meth head >dad dies >can't afford rent on my own >potential roommates are fighting and 696 KB JPG flakey >wish I could kill myself but I can't let my sister live like s--- like she has her whole life there's nothing I can do dood
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)09:12:38 No.63252075 >be me >m21 with f13 sister >live with dad because mom is meth head >dad dies >can't afford rent on my own >potential roommates are fighting and 696 KB JPG flakey >wish I could kill myself but I can't let my sister live like s--- like she has her whole life there's nothing I can do dood

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Anon sings a song | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)02:18:30 No.63922871 >Crush is named Victoria >Trying to impress her >Me and the boys show up at her house singing the nazi song Sieg Heil Viktoria >She calls the police instead of liking it 5 KB JPG >F------ normie bitch
: Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)02:18:30 No.63922871 >Crush is named Victoria >Trying to impress her >Me and the boys show up at her house singing the nazi song Sieg Heil Viktoria >She calls the police instead of liking it 5 KB JPG >F------ normie bitch

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Anon finds out | /r/Greentext

File: dOf6b890763211dc0a89a7e588792dfa.jpg (27 KB, 465x327) /b/ Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)18:13:46 No.855605136 [Reply] >Go on 4chan for the 1st time >Take 500000 years to find out how to navigate cuz l'm a retard >Go on b >"It's. just p---" >Thought there was gonna be funny posts with a few incel Nazi posts >"Why is a lot of it so weird too?!" >Leaves site
File: dOf6b890763211dc0a89a7e588792dfa.jpg (27 KB, 465x327) /b/ Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)18:13:46 No.855605136 [Reply] >Go on 4chan for the 1st time >Take 500000 years to find out how to navigate cuz l'm a retard >Go on b >"It's. just p---" >Thought there was gonna be funny posts with a few incel Nazi posts >"Why is a lot of it so weird too?!" >Leaves site

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Anon gets screened | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/06/21(Thu)07:08:30 No.6354 >tfw had to strip down infront of airport security because i had a metal chasity cage on 7 KB JPG
Anonymous 05/06/21(Thu)07:08:30 No.6354 >tfw had to strip down infront of airport security because i had a metal chasity cage on 7 KB JPG

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Anon likes Chopin | /r/Greentext


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Anon Loses His Neethood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/07/19(Mon)21:04:19 No.789381010 Well guys, this is it. >be me >high school graduate >parents are done with my lazy presence around the house 110 KB JPG >tell me to get a job, but are nice about it >l understand their concern about me growing up >19th birthday is later this month >I think long and hard one night >fuckit.jpg >go to bed early, wake up early >make myself presentable to the outside world >go to local safeway >ask assistant manager about any positions >she asks for my information to give me a call later >2 hours later I get a call >interviewconfirmed.exe >wake up supremely early next morning >walk safeway for interview and sign papers >l'm going to work as a produce clerk next week
: Anonymous 01/07/19(Mon)21:04:19 No.789381010 Well guys, this is it. >be me >high school graduate >parents are done with my lazy presence around the house 110 KB JPG >tell me to get a job, but are nice about it >l understand their concern about me growing up >19th birthday is later this month >I think long and hard one night >fuckit.jpg >go to bed early, wake up early >make myself presentable to the outside world >go to local safeway >ask assistant manager about any positions >she asks for my information to give me a call later >2 hours later I get a call >interviewconfirmed.exe >wake up supremely early next morning >walk safeway for interview and sign papers >l'm going to work as a produce clerk next week

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