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Anon goes visit his uncle in the hospital | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)15:49:12 No.38371043 >uncle was dying of cancer >on hospital bed >doctors said he had 1 day left to live >sad, go to my room and lock the door >radomly decide to do a blood sacrifice by sacrificing my life for his >drew a pentagram on a piece of paper 19 KB JPG and then cut my palm with a knife and soaked the paper with blood >prayed that my uncle gets better in exchange for my life >next day uncle makes a miraculous recovery This was just a coincidence r-right?
: Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)15:49:12 No.38371043 >uncle was dying of cancer >on hospital bed >doctors said he had 1 day left to live >sad, go to my room and lock the door >radomly decide to do a blood sacrifice by sacrificing my life for his >drew a pentagram on a piece of paper 19 KB JPG and then cut my palm with a knife and soaked the paper with blood >prayed that my uncle gets better in exchange for my life >next day uncle makes a miraculous recovery This was just a coincidence r-right?

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Anon is done | /r/Greentext

2h (4/11 21:16) · 63162749 JPG 29KB · (403 × 331) >>63159936 >meet a woman >find out she has feet Like I try to be open and tolerant about most things but man, that sort of s--- is just f----- ...
2h (4/11 21:16) · 63162749 JPG 29KB · (403 × 331) >>63159936 >meet a woman >find out she has feet Like I try to be open and tolerant about most things but man, that sort of s--- is just f----- ...

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Anon is a Warrio fan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)22:41:48 No.846579260 >Halloween 2016 >go to costume themed swingers party >dressed as Wario >a few hours in start talking to girl dressed as Princess Peach 89 KB PNG >she tells me 'lets make Mario jealous' >go to nearby Motel >get room >have odd RP sex >about to c-- >suddenly yell 'i'mma Wario, i'mma gunna c--!" >scream 'WWWAAHH!!!' While cuming >says it was the worst sex experience of her life Atleast i came tho
: Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)22:41:48 No.846579260 >Halloween 2016 >go to costume themed swingers party >dressed as Wario >a few hours in start talking to girl dressed as Princess Peach 89 KB PNG >she tells me 'lets make Mario jealous' >go to nearby Motel >get room >have odd RP sex >about to c-- >suddenly yell 'i'mma Wario, i'mma gunna c--!" >scream 'WWWAAHH!!!' While cuming >says it was the worst sex experience of her life Atleast i came tho

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My mans really do be tossing inn the towel | /r/Greentext


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Anon fell for poop in attic meme | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/19(Thu)22:31:43 No.51572664 >fell for the throw your s--- in the attic meme >tfw parents are p-----, the damage costs a fortune to fix, and the smell isn't going away 71 KB JPG My parents are thinking of kicking me out. I'm seriously scared. : Anonymous 03/21/19(Thu)22:33:08 No.51572686 >>51572664 (OP) # ..what are you talking about? what meme? >>51572723 # Anonymous 03/21/19(Thu)22:35:37 No.51572723 >>51572686 # So you don't have to leave your room to s---, and so you don'thave to go in jugs, you can throw it in the attic. I have a little trap door to the attic in my closet. I threw my s--- up in there and you said squirrels will carry it away but they haven't it just builds up and damages the house.
: Anonymous 03/21/19(Thu)22:31:43 No.51572664 >fell for the throw your s--- in the attic meme >tfw parents are p-----, the damage costs a fortune to fix, and the smell isn't going away 71 KB JPG My parents are thinking of kicking me out. I'm seriously scared. : Anonymous 03/21/19(Thu)22:33:08 No.51572686 >>51572664 (OP) # ..what are you talking about? what meme? >>51572723 # Anonymous 03/21/19(Thu)22:35:37 No.51572723 >>51572686 # So you don't have to leave your room to s---, and so you don'thave to go in jugs, you can throw it in the attic. I have a little trap door to the attic in my closet. I threw my s--- up in there and you said squirrels will carry it away but they haven't it just builds up and damages the house.

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Anon takes a biology class | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a request | /r/Greentext


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Anon loves his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)09:12:38 No.63252075 >be me >m21 with f13 sister >live with dad because mom is meth head >dad dies >can't afford rent on my own >potential roommates are fighting and 696 KB JPG flakey >wish I could kill myself but I can't let my sister live like s--- like she has her whole life there's nothing I can do dood
: Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)09:12:38 No.63252075 >be me >m21 with f13 sister >live with dad because mom is meth head >dad dies >can't afford rent on my own >potential roommates are fighting and 696 KB JPG flakey >wish I could kill myself but I can't let my sister live like s--- like she has her whole life there's nothing I can do dood

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Anon sings a song | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)02:18:30 No.63922871 >Crush is named Victoria >Trying to impress her >Me and the boys show up at her house singing the nazi song Sieg Heil Viktoria >She calls the police instead of liking it 5 KB JPG >F------ normie bitch
: Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)02:18:30 No.63922871 >Crush is named Victoria >Trying to impress her >Me and the boys show up at her house singing the nazi song Sieg Heil Viktoria >She calls the police instead of liking it 5 KB JPG >F------ normie bitch

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Anon finds out | /r/Greentext

File: dOf6b890763211dc0a89a7e588792dfa.jpg (27 KB, 465x327) /b/ Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)18:13:46 No.855605136 [Reply] >Go on 4chan for the 1st time >Take 500000 years to find out how to navigate cuz l'm a retard >Go on b >"It's. just p---" >Thought there was gonna be funny posts with a few incel Nazi posts >"Why is a lot of it so weird too?!" >Leaves site
File: dOf6b890763211dc0a89a7e588792dfa.jpg (27 KB, 465x327) /b/ Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)18:13:46 No.855605136 [Reply] >Go on 4chan for the 1st time >Take 500000 years to find out how to navigate cuz l'm a retard >Go on b >"It's. just p---" >Thought there was gonna be funny posts with a few incel Nazi posts >"Why is a lot of it so weird too?!" >Leaves site

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Anon gets screened | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/06/21(Thu)07:08:30 No.6354 >tfw had to strip down infront of airport security because i had a metal chasity cage on 7 KB JPG
Anonymous 05/06/21(Thu)07:08:30 No.6354 >tfw had to strip down infront of airport security because i had a metal chasity cage on 7 KB JPG

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Anon likes Chopin | /r/Greentext


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Anon Loses His Neethood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/07/19(Mon)21:04:19 No.789381010 Well guys, this is it. >be me >high school graduate >parents are done with my lazy presence around the house 110 KB JPG >tell me to get a job, but are nice about it >l understand their concern about me growing up >19th birthday is later this month >I think long and hard one night >fuckit.jpg >go to bed early, wake up early >make myself presentable to the outside world >go to local safeway >ask assistant manager about any positions >she asks for my information to give me a call later >2 hours later I get a call >interviewconfirmed.exe >wake up supremely early next morning >walk safeway for interview and sign papers >l'm going to work as a produce clerk next week
: Anonymous 01/07/19(Mon)21:04:19 No.789381010 Well guys, this is it. >be me >high school graduate >parents are done with my lazy presence around the house 110 KB JPG >tell me to get a job, but are nice about it >l understand their concern about me growing up >19th birthday is later this month >I think long and hard one night >fuckit.jpg >go to bed early, wake up early >make myself presentable to the outside world >go to local safeway >ask assistant manager about any positions >she asks for my information to give me a call later >2 hours later I get a call >interviewconfirmed.exe >wake up supremely early next morning >walk safeway for interview and sign papers >l'm going to work as a produce clerk next week

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Anon likes reading reviews | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a saviour. | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 02/18/18(Sun)23:03:49 No.760310831 File: received 1974516546119619.jpg (24 KB, 541x642) >>760311467 >be me >8 years old >playing around in my dads car >looking at the guages >think the car is empty because the fuel guage says low >remember that he has a important meeting in town the next day >idea.webm >hatch a plan to fill up dads car for him with the garden hose >decide to surprise him in the morning >he starts the car >"what the hell i thought i only had half a tank" >"surprise dad" >car dies >"what did you do?" >explain >dads p----- >going on about how hes going to miss his big meeting >calls taxi >taxi takes forever but arrives >taxi drops me off at my grandparents house 3 blocks away >grandma comes running out screaming like a banshee >she rushes me and dad into the house >look on the tv >911 >tfw dumb s--- as a kid saved my dad
>> Anonymous 02/18/18(Sun)23:03:49 No.760310831 File: received 1974516546119619.jpg (24 KB, 541x642) >>760311467 >be me >8 years old >playing around in my dads car >looking at the guages >think the car is empty because the fuel guage says low >remember that he has a important meeting in town the next day >idea.webm >hatch a plan to fill up dads car for him with the garden hose >decide to surprise him in the morning >he starts the car >"what the hell i thought i only had half a tank" >"surprise dad" >car dies >"what did you do?" >explain >dads p----- >going on about how hes going to miss his big meeting >calls taxi >taxi takes forever but arrives >taxi drops me off at my grandparents house 3 blocks away >grandma comes running out screaming like a banshee >she rushes me and dad into the house >look on the tv >911 >tfw dumb s--- as a kid saved my dad

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Anon likes the word of the lord | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)14:28:40 No.63918437 What is your weirdest thing you have wanked to? (Not most extreme or violent thing just strange) Me first 21 KB JPG >Go to school with a girl in high school, she is really attractive and I like her a lot >but she and her parents are super hardcore Orthodox Christians so I do not have chance >Hear one day at school that she has a YouTube channel, I go to check it out and it is just her reading entire chapters of the bible over a black screen >On the channel she has read the entire bible, one day I am so horny that I look up the most sexual bible verses and got to her video where she reads the entirety of Ezekiel skip to Ezekiel 23:18-21 and bust a fat nut to her reading, I do this for months until she deletes her channel because of hate comments TL DR I have jerked off to multiple bible verses multiple times Share yours
: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)14:28:40 No.63918437 What is your weirdest thing you have wanked to? (Not most extreme or violent thing just strange) Me first 21 KB JPG >Go to school with a girl in high school, she is really attractive and I like her a lot >but she and her parents are super hardcore Orthodox Christians so I do not have chance >Hear one day at school that she has a YouTube channel, I go to check it out and it is just her reading entire chapters of the bible over a black screen >On the channel she has read the entire bible, one day I am so horny that I look up the most sexual bible verses and got to her video where she reads the entirety of Ezekiel skip to Ezekiel 23:18-21 and bust a fat nut to her reading, I do this for months until she deletes her channel because of hate comments TL DR I have jerked off to multiple bible verses multiple times Share yours

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Anon plays uno | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)18:47:08 No.144971906 UNO person-uno.png 103 KB PNG >"Nice play Mr. Bond, however you did not announce you were almost finished, so now you are two cards further from victory."
: Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)18:47:08 No.144971906 UNO person-uno.png 103 KB PNG >"Nice play Mr. Bond, however you did not announce you were almost finished, so now you are two cards further from victory."

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Anon is inferior | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/19(Tue)09:49:34 No.792436734 >dad is easily 6'5 and has sporty built >mom is 5'11 but also has a sporty built >be me >their first born >they have my sister 16 months later >mom & dad think we're going to be 98 KB JPG great sports players >l ended up having asthma and only being 5'4 >sister became 6'3 and has the perfect sporty built >she plays volleyball, soccer, and softball >mom & dad love her >our living is filled with pictures of her and trophies >the only picture of me is the family photo >mom & dad rarely talk to me >sister is probably going to college for free because sports >mfw I don't even give a s--- about college I just want my parents to love me
: Anonymous 02/12/19(Tue)09:49:34 No.792436734 >dad is easily 6'5 and has sporty built >mom is 5'11 but also has a sporty built >be me >their first born >they have my sister 16 months later >mom & dad think we're going to be 98 KB JPG great sports players >l ended up having asthma and only being 5'4 >sister became 6'3 and has the perfect sporty built >she plays volleyball, soccer, and softball >mom & dad love her >our living is filled with pictures of her and trophies >the only picture of me is the family photo >mom & dad rarely talk to me >sister is probably going to college for free because sports >mfw I don't even give a s--- about college I just want my parents to love me

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Anon gets advice | /r/Greentext


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Anon hates Canada | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)02:09:15 No.855655547 be a mass murderer >get arrested >get executed >wake up in someone else's body >think you got a second chance to right your wrongs >quickly discover that you're in 20 KB JPG Canada >hell now doesn't seem so bad >kill yourself >wake up in a different man's body >you're in Canada again >this is your final destination. you cannot escape. god has punished you by making you perpetually Canadian.
: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)02:09:15 No.855655547 be a mass murderer >get arrested >get executed >wake up in someone else's body >think you got a second chance to right your wrongs >quickly discover that you're in 20 KB JPG Canada >hell now doesn't seem so bad >kill yourself >wake up in a different man's body >you're in Canada again >this is your final destination. you cannot escape. god has punished you by making you perpetually Canadian.

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