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Anon ponders suicide | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/18(Thu)22:45:16 No.49824266 >buy chemicals for a peaceful suicide >they all arrive >have everything ready >suddenly feel happy >not even sure l want to kill myself 13 KB JPG anymore >the fake smile I put on turns into a real one >start enjoying life and treating people nice What the f--- is happening?
: Anonymous 12/13/18(Thu)22:45:16 No.49824266 >buy chemicals for a peaceful suicide >they all arrive >have everything ready >suddenly feel happy >not even sure l want to kill myself 13 KB JPG anymore >the fake smile I put on turns into a real one >start enjoying life and treating people nice What the f--- is happening?

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Anon gets backfired | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: PtowQKud) 03/09/20(Mon)22:03:13 No.247294862 >247294935 WRTOH OUT >>247295044 >>247295084 >>247295127 >>247295906 >>247296042 >>247296832 >>247297042 >>247297305 >>247297334 >>247297437 >>247297491 >>247297634 >>247297739 >>247297886 >>247297950 >>247298451 >247298826 >>247299016 >>247299368 >>247299587 >>247299715 HERE COMES R >the meme that finally brought down Trump JOEPEDO! >> O Anonymous (ID: CMcTDSr >>247296832 >>247297136 >>247297394 >>247297812 >>247299016 >247299040 >>247299115 >>247299194 >>247299270 >>247299368 File: 237AB6A5-746D-42CE-B957-1(...).jpg (3 KB, 125x119) • 03/09/20(Mon)22:05:01 No.247295044 >>247295159 >>247295629 >>247295685 >>247296586 >>247296818 >>247294862 (OP) > Joe >P--- Ahahahahahahahahaha O Anonymous (ID: PtowQKud) 03/09/20(Mon)22:05:56 No.247295159 ► >>247296818 >>247296832 >>247297834 >>247298392 >>247295044 no not like that O Anonymous (ID: PtowQKud ) 03/09/20(Mon)22:15:17 No.247296235 D>>247296329 >>247296657 >>247296786 >>247296832 >>247296996 >>247297164 >>247297205 >>247297294 >>247297576 >>247297990 >>247298981 >>247299159 >>247299368 how do I delete the thread how do I delete the thread
O Anonymous (ID: PtowQKud) 03/09/20(Mon)22:03:13 No.247294862 >247294935 WRTOH OUT >>247295044 >>247295084 >>247295127 >>247295906 >>247296042 >>247296832 >>247297042 >>247297305 >>247297334 >>247297437 >>247297491 >>247297634 >>247297739 >>247297886 >>247297950 >>247298451 >247298826 >>247299016 >>247299368 >>247299587 >>247299715 HERE COMES R >the meme that finally brought down Trump JOEPEDO! >> O Anonymous (ID: CMcTDSr >>247296832 >>247297136 >>247297394 >>247297812 >>247299016 >247299040 >>247299115 >>247299194 >>247299270 >>247299368 File: 237AB6A5-746D-42CE-B957-1(...).jpg (3 KB, 125x119) • 03/09/20(Mon)22:05:01 No.247295044 >>247295159 >>247295629 >>247295685 >>247296586 >>247296818 >>247294862 (OP) > Joe >P--- Ahahahahahahahahaha O Anonymous (ID: PtowQKud) 03/09/20(Mon)22:05:56 No.247295159 ► >>247296818 >>247296832 >>247297834 >>247298392 >>247295044 no not like that O Anonymous (ID: PtowQKud ) 03/09/20(Mon)22:15:17 No.247296235 D>>247296329 >>247296657 >>247296786 >>247296832 >>247296996 >>247297164 >>247297205 >>247297294 >>247297576 >>247297990 >>247298981 >>247299159 >>247299368 how do I delete the thread how do I delete the thread

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Anon has good teeth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)03:11:10 No.63188016 >never ever flossed my teeth >not even once >go to the dentist >"i see youve been flossing, your gums are in perfect health, keep it up" 4 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)03:11:10 No.63188016 >never ever flossed my teeth >not even once >go to the dentist >"i see youve been flossing, your gums are in perfect health, keep it up" 4 KB PNG

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Anon respects his mom's wishes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/18(Mon)16:37:50 No.19683115 Here's a story for y'all >Be me >Just turned 17 >Live alone with bitch mom >Just got driver's license >Buying car >Despite the fact that I'm paying for insurance, gas, upkeep and the car itself out of pocket, mom still wants to 22 KB JPG restrict my buying >Says it has to have automatic transmission and be at least as big as her car (grocery getter hatchback) so that she can borrow it or ask me to do s--- for her with it >Asyouwish.ogg >Start trawling craigslist >Find '85 GMC Suburban with 6" lift, bigass offroad inner tube tires and body rot like no tomorrow >It's got an automatic and is definitely bigger than my mom's car >Listed for $1500 because of the body rot >Go to see it, of course the frame is fine because it's a GM, and it's generally sound otherwise and runs/drives fine >Smokes like a California wildfire but doesn't have to pass smog because it's too old >Talk idiot seller down to $1250 and take the truck home that day >Mom of course flips her s--- but can't tell me to take it back because it was a CL sale, and can't tell me to get rid of it because no dealer will take it, she doesn't let me sell stuff online, and she doesn't know how to do so herself >MFW that truck was and is the best purchase l've ever made >Could haul 8 of my friends plus myself easily >Used it to move to college >Drove across the country twice and slept in it >Never had to worry about weather >Offroaded it with some regularity, fun as f--- and never gave me trouble >Was both reliable as hell and easy to work on/find parts for >MFW I'm 23 and still driving it >MFW my mom never once borrowed it or made me do s--- with it How have you cheated the system, /o/tists?
: Anonymous 09/03/18(Mon)16:37:50 No.19683115 Here's a story for y'all >Be me >Just turned 17 >Live alone with bitch mom >Just got driver's license >Buying car >Despite the fact that I'm paying for insurance, gas, upkeep and the car itself out of pocket, mom still wants to 22 KB JPG restrict my buying >Says it has to have automatic transmission and be at least as big as her car (grocery getter hatchback) so that she can borrow it or ask me to do s--- for her with it >Asyouwish.ogg >Start trawling craigslist >Find '85 GMC Suburban with 6" lift, bigass offroad inner tube tires and body rot like no tomorrow >It's got an automatic and is definitely bigger than my mom's car >Listed for $1500 because of the body rot >Go to see it, of course the frame is fine because it's a GM, and it's generally sound otherwise and runs/drives fine >Smokes like a California wildfire but doesn't have to pass smog because it's too old >Talk idiot seller down to $1250 and take the truck home that day >Mom of course flips her s--- but can't tell me to take it back because it was a CL sale, and can't tell me to get rid of it because no dealer will take it, she doesn't let me sell stuff online, and she doesn't know how to do so herself >MFW that truck was and is the best purchase l've ever made >Could haul 8 of my friends plus myself easily >Used it to move to college >Drove across the country twice and slept in it >Never had to worry about weather >Offroaded it with some regularity, fun as f--- and never gave me trouble >Was both reliable as hell and easy to work on/find parts for >MFW I'm 23 and still driving it >MFW my mom never once borrowed it or made me do s--- with it How have you cheated the system, /o/tists?

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Anon loves his mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/18(Sun)09:54:07 No.11260164 >my mom left school at 16 due to poverty >never showed much interest in books, music etc >retired last year >has since been reading 53 KB JPG through all the books I left in boxes at home >her enthusiasm for reading is so pure I feel bad for not enjoying reading that much these days >she kept asking me if I was writing a book and said she could "never do that" >picked up the hint and encouraged her to give it a go, without getting my hopes up >ffw she sent me a story she wrote about two rabbits who become friends >ffw it made me cry and feels more honest than anything I've written How to cope with this feel bros? I love my mum so much.
: Anonymous 06/03/18(Sun)09:54:07 No.11260164 >my mom left school at 16 due to poverty >never showed much interest in books, music etc >retired last year >has since been reading 53 KB JPG through all the books I left in boxes at home >her enthusiasm for reading is so pure I feel bad for not enjoying reading that much these days >she kept asking me if I was writing a book and said she could "never do that" >picked up the hint and encouraged her to give it a go, without getting my hopes up >ffw she sent me a story she wrote about two rabbits who become friends >ffw it made me cry and feels more honest than anything I've written How to cope with this feel bros? I love my mum so much.

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Anon probably has early onset dementia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/18(Tue)10:46:25 No.763253195 i f----- up big time boys >be me happily married for 6 years >wife and i call eachother cute pet names more than our real names >introduce us both at a function >"i'm anon and this is my wife...uh..." >sweetfuckingchrist.jpeg 58 KB JPG >tfw i don't remember her name >mfw she's making me sleep in the backyard how do i recover guys please help me
: Anonymous 03/20/18(Tue)10:46:25 No.763253195 i f----- up big time boys >be me happily married for 6 years >wife and i call eachother cute pet names more than our real names >introduce us both at a function >"i'm anon and this is my wife...uh..." >sweetfuckingchrist.jpeg 58 KB JPG >tfw i don't remember her name >mfw she's making me sleep in the backyard how do i recover guys please help me

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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

>be me >be in 7th grade >obsessed with the movie fight club >start pretending to fight myself because autism >people at school ask why i have bruises 143 KB JPG >tell them i got into fight >with who? >tell them im not gonna snitch >people believe me >ffw people start to think im a little bit cooler due to autism
>be me >be in 7th grade >obsessed with the movie fight club >start pretending to fight myself because autism >people at school ask why i have bruises 143 KB JPG >tell them i got into fight >with who? >tell them im not gonna snitch >people believe me >ffw people start to think im a little bit cooler due to autism

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Anon needed to fart | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Sat 28 Dec 2019 14:14:17 No.817176079 View Quoted By: >>817176124 >>817176178 > On the train to London > Really need to fart > Starting to hurt a bit > Starting to hurt a lot > Train shakes a little, want get up to go to the bathroom before I f------ burst > Don't get the chance, my sphincter can no longer take the strain > Manage to discreetly edge my buttcheeks apart, comes out slowly but silently > Pass gas for a Solid 60 seconds > Oh no > Oh god the f------ smell People are looking at each other > It's really f------ bad. > enemyspotted.jpeg > A foreign smell impacts my nostrils > The dude opposite me is staring me right in the eyes > He f------ knows, and ripped one of his own > It's f------ on > Spread the cheeks a little wider, much as I dare > Push > Clearly and loudly s--- myself staring into the eyes of a complete stranger. What's your commute like /b/?
Anonymous Sat 28 Dec 2019 14:14:17 No.817176079 View Quoted By: >>817176124 >>817176178 > On the train to London > Really need to fart > Starting to hurt a bit > Starting to hurt a lot > Train shakes a little, want get up to go to the bathroom before I f------ burst > Don't get the chance, my sphincter can no longer take the strain > Manage to discreetly edge my buttcheeks apart, comes out slowly but silently > Pass gas for a Solid 60 seconds > Oh no > Oh god the f------ smell People are looking at each other > It's really f------ bad. > enemyspotted.jpeg > A foreign smell impacts my nostrils > The dude opposite me is staring me right in the eyes > He f------ knows, and ripped one of his own > It's f------ on > Spread the cheeks a little wider, much as I dare > Push > Clearly and loudly s--- myself staring into the eyes of a complete stranger. What's your commute like /b/?

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:18:04 No.816697201 >t----- >bike home from work >ride past a group of teen-agers >get wolf-wistled at >turn around and yell "ew thats gay" in my manliest voice >bike away while his friends laugh 40 KB JPG at him 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:25:53 No.816697581 >>816697201 (OP) # Man gay L Trap Scare Shi kek 149 KB JPG
| Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:18:04 No.816697201 >t----- >bike home from work >ride past a group of teen-agers >get wolf-wistled at >turn around and yell "ew thats gay" in my manliest voice >bike away while his friends laugh 40 KB JPG at him 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:25:53 No.816697581 >>816697201 (OP) # Man gay L Trap Scare Shi kek 149 KB JPG

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Anon meets a girl on tinder | /r/Greentext

>be me >24yo anon >meet girl on tinder >she's super cute >possiblegf.jpeg >not sure what a 9/10 is 59 KB PNG doing with me >i'm a total 3/10 >have amazing sex >afterwards ask her what my appeal was >"oh my stepdad was really fat so it's sort of my fetish" >mfw
>be me >24yo anon >meet girl on tinder >she's super cute >possiblegf.jpeg >not sure what a 9/10 is 59 KB PNG doing with me >i'm a total 3/10 >have amazing sex >afterwards ask her what my appeal was >"oh my stepdad was really fat so it's sort of my fetish" >mfw

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Anon cares about his father | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:13:10 No.62918674 >dad is obese >eat all the sweets he buys to save him 75 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:46:37 No.62919028 >>62918674 (OP) # you could just throw the candy out. >>62919158 #
: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:13:10 No.62918674 >dad is obese >eat all the sweets he buys to save him 75 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)06:46:37 No.62919028 >>62918674 (OP) # you could just throw the candy out. >>62919158 #

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Anon tells the Truth. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)20:46:23 No.104038216 1531713261669.png 189 KB PNG >breakup song by a woman >"lol f--- off loser i already have 20 cocks lined up to replace you" >breakup song by a man >"I'M SO SORRY BABY EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT PLEASE COME BACK"
: Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)20:46:23 No.104038216 1531713261669.png 189 KB PNG >breakup song by a woman >"lol f--- off loser i already have 20 cocks lined up to replace you" >breakup song by a man >"I'M SO SORRY BABY EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT PLEASE COME BACK"

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anon eats a popsicle | /r/Greentext

>eating popsicle with my friend >it looks phallic >we lol a bit >lick it seductively while looking at him >he is laughing his ass off 366 KB PNG >put it in my mouth and push it as deep as i can >gag and then pull it out >i look like one of those hentai girls, spit trailing and everything >he stops laughing and then looks shocked >look down >rock hard
>eating popsicle with my friend >it looks phallic >we lol a bit >lick it seductively while looking at him >he is laughing his ass off 366 KB PNG >put it in my mouth and push it as deep as i can >gag and then pull it out >i look like one of those hentai girls, spit trailing and everything >he stops laughing and then looks shocked >look down >rock hard

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Anon celebrates a birthday | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/19(Sun)20:42:51 No.805223939 >17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin >they gave a slut at our school 500 USD to f--- me 575 KB JPG >they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity
: Anonymous 07/21/19(Sun)20:42:51 No.805223939 >17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin >they gave a slut at our school 500 USD to f--- me 575 KB JPG >they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity

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Anon is trapped in a nightmare | /r/Greentext

>read a thread on a ritual that supposedly allows you to lucid dream >attempt it >it actually works >l can lucid dream 56 KB JPG >all I have to do is say something and it happens >if I say "I can fly" I can fly >if I were to say "I used to be President" I immediately flashback to my time in office >other characters appear in my dream >they start having flashbacks of their own >l can't control them >l have to stick to the script until their flashbacks are over >Peter Griffin is a character in my dreams >l have no power over him >every time he has a flashback I'm force to play along >every night I'm trapped in an episode of Family Guy >become terrified of sleeping >eventually my body caves and I fall asleep >every night I'm subjected to a hellscape of pop culture references and poop jokes
>read a thread on a ritual that supposedly allows you to lucid dream >attempt it >it actually works >l can lucid dream 56 KB JPG >all I have to do is say something and it happens >if I say "I can fly" I can fly >if I were to say "I used to be President" I immediately flashback to my time in office >other characters appear in my dream >they start having flashbacks of their own >l can't control them >l have to stick to the script until their flashbacks are over >Peter Griffin is a character in my dreams >l have no power over him >every time he has a flashback I'm force to play along >every night I'm trapped in an episode of Family Guy >become terrified of sleeping >eventually my body caves and I fall asleep >every night I'm subjected to a hellscape of pop culture references and poop jokes

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Anon discovers aliens | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I discovered aliens anons 04/26/21 (Mon)17:06:41 No.63394591 >be me >learn about rule 34 >if it exists there is p--- of it >look up alien p--- >theres p--- of aliens >mfw i just proved aliens 39 KB JPG exist
: Anonymous I discovered aliens anons 04/26/21 (Mon)17:06:41 No.63394591 >be me >learn about rule 34 >if it exists there is p--- of it >look up alien p--- >theres p--- of aliens >mfw i just proved aliens 39 KB JPG exist

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Anon goes for a run | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/30/20(Wed)12:43:49 No.6026769 I went running once >never run >not very good at all >look super unnatural >cop pulls up, asks me if l'm ok, and if I'm running from someone sad day
: Anonymous 09/30/20(Wed)12:43:49 No.6026769 I went running once >never run >not very good at all >look super unnatural >cop pulls up, asks me if l'm ok, and if I'm running from someone sad day

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Anon complains about bikers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)07:00:05 No.851910609 fagonwheels.png 582 KB PNG >ON YOUR LEFT >blows through stop sign >doesn't signal where he's turning >runs through red light causing 5 car pileup What the hell man!? We're rightful vehicles on the road, WATCH, THE, F---, OUT.
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)07:00:05 No.851910609 fagonwheels.png 582 KB PNG >ON YOUR LEFT >blows through stop sign >doesn't signal where he's turning >runs through red light causing 5 car pileup What the hell man!? We're rightful vehicles on the road, WATCH, THE, F---, OUT.

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anon's gonna be okay | /r/Greentext

32m · 856121460 O Re · 0 Img · GIF · 461KB · (498 × 498) >be me >can't sleep because depressed and over thinking >look over and find a pack of fruit snacks I had in my pocket >open it up >all reds >mfw we're gonna be okay Thank you fruit snacks
32m · 856121460 O Re · 0 Img · GIF · 461KB · (498 × 498) >be me >can't sleep because depressed and over thinking >look over and find a pack of fruit snacks I had in my pocket >open it up >all reds >mfw we're gonna be okay Thank you fruit snacks

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Anon tries to write a story | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)11:45:23 No.856119221 [Reply] Hey /b/ros! Let's make a story by contributing one word each! I'lls Once | howing all replies. Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)11:46:19 No.856119255 n----- Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)11:46:31 No.856119259 >>856119221 (OP) N-----
O Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)11:45:23 No.856119221 [Reply] Hey /b/ros! Let's make a story by contributing one word each! I'lls Once | howing all replies. Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)11:46:19 No.856119255 n----- Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)11:46:31 No.856119259 >>856119221 (OP) N-----

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