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Anon makes the mutt seethe | /r/Greentext

F------ MOVE!! STACY IS GIVING BIRTH TO CHAD'S CHILD RIGHT NOW! I NEED TO GET TO WORK!II MOVE YOU F------ IDIOT! I'M GONNA BE LATE! MR. NOSEBERG TOLD ME TO BE EARLY TODAY!! SLOW YOUR ROLL slowyourrollpaythetoll.png 823 KB PNG >this makes the mutt seethe
F------ MOVE!! STACY IS GIVING BIRTH TO CHAD'S CHILD RIGHT NOW! I NEED TO GET TO WORK!II MOVE YOU F------ IDIOT! I'M GONNA BE LATE! MR. NOSEBERG TOLD ME TO BE EARLY TODAY!! SLOW YOUR ROLL slowyourrollpaythetoll.png 823 KB PNG >this makes the mutt seethe

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Anon characterizes himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:17:17 No.64027099 >5'5.5 (5'5 1/2) >small d--- >small balls >impotent >infertile >weak 213 KB PNG >brain damage >low IQ >mentally ill >fat >hairline receding /or balding >suck at physical things >suck at physical job >can't communicate well >no license >college dropout >no friends >no girl >no gf >khhv : Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:38:15 No.64027419 >>64027099 (OP) # How are you still alive OP?Like h-------- , what will power did you have to survive this far? 99 KB JPG >>64027511 #
: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:17:17 No.64027099 >5'5.5 (5'5 1/2) >small d--- >small balls >impotent >infertile >weak 213 KB PNG >brain damage >low IQ >mentally ill >fat >hairline receding /or balding >suck at physical things >suck at physical job >can't communicate well >no license >college dropout >no friends >no girl >no gf >khhv : Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:38:15 No.64027419 >>64027099 (OP) # How are you still alive OP?Like h-------- , what will power did you have to survive this far? 99 KB JPG >>64027511 #

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Anon leaves all social media | /r/Greentext

File: americanpsycho460-2.jpg (10 KB, 200x200) Anonymous 08/15/15(Sat)20:55:03 No.634948902 >delete facebook >leave all social media >leave city >move to Himalayas >one day pigeon comes with note >open note >Candy Crush request
File: americanpsycho460-2.jpg (10 KB, 200x200) Anonymous 08/15/15(Sat)20:55:03 No.634948902 >delete facebook >leave all social media >leave city >move to Himalayas >one day pigeon comes with note >open note >Candy Crush request

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anon reached the point of no return a while ago and is yet to realize it | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)15:39:16 No.856229997 File: Purepain.jpg (275 KB, 664x527) >be me >depressed >go to therapy >kind of helps >describe my average emotional level as gray >" you should start working out, it gives you good endorphins." >"you should eat healthier, it will make you feel better." >start working out >start eating healthier >spend more time outside in the sun >still feel gray >get 0 pleasure from accomplishing anything >don't get happy >don't get sad >where are the endorphins? >why do I still feel gray?
O Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)15:39:16 No.856229997 File: Purepain.jpg (275 KB, 664x527) >be me >depressed >go to therapy >kind of helps >describe my average emotional level as gray >" you should start working out, it gives you good endorphins." >"you should eat healthier, it will make you feel better." >start working out >start eating healthier >spend more time outside in the sun >still feel gray >get 0 pleasure from accomplishing anything >don't get happy >don't get sad >where are the endorphins? >why do I still feel gray?

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Anon needs to shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)16:24:45 No.856229038 >Playing vidya >Stomach starts to churn and rumble >World war III starts in my intestines >Turn off computer, run to 78 KB JPG bathroom >Play music that helps with stomach aches >Set asscheeks down on the porcelain >Stomach pain and rumble ceases, no sign of s--- leaving my ass >Stand up >ltsback.mp4 >Sit down >Stops This s--- has been going on for a week now, I'm considering ending it all.
: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)16:24:45 No.856229038 >Playing vidya >Stomach starts to churn and rumble >World war III starts in my intestines >Turn off computer, run to 78 KB JPG bathroom >Play music that helps with stomach aches >Set asscheeks down on the porcelain >Stomach pain and rumble ceases, no sign of s--- leaving my ass >Stand up >ltsback.mp4 >Sit down >Stops This s--- has been going on for a week now, I'm considering ending it all.

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Anon missed his shot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)18:11:40 No.64023830 >add girl on discord >she knows i like being insulted and always goes along with it >it wasnt anything sexual for me but she recently asked if i liked jacking off to her 827 KB JPG >tell her i dont j------- to her i just like being treated worse by girls >call her a creep and ghost her for a few weeks >first question to break the ice was asking if she's been drinking lately >ask what she even does when she drinks and she says she just calls friends >tell her she never calls me >expected her to say im not her friend >no response >wake up to a ton of messages she sent when drunk >she wanted to see my c--- ill let you know how i manage to f--- this one up
: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)18:11:40 No.64023830 >add girl on discord >she knows i like being insulted and always goes along with it >it wasnt anything sexual for me but she recently asked if i liked jacking off to her 827 KB JPG >tell her i dont j------- to her i just like being treated worse by girls >call her a creep and ghost her for a few weeks >first question to break the ice was asking if she's been drinking lately >ask what she even does when she drinks and she says she just calls friends >tell her she never calls me >expected her to say im not her friend >no response >wake up to a ton of messages she sent when drunk >she wanted to see my c--- ill let you know how i manage to f--- this one up

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Why even live? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)14:51:13 No.855269275 >be me >eating ribs at 8 in the morning >be you >not eating ribs at 8 in the morning Why live? 69 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)14:51:13 No.855269275 >be me >eating ribs at 8 in the morning >be you >not eating ribs at 8 in the morning Why live? 69 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon gets the last word | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:18:04 No.816697201 >t----- >bike home from work >ride past a group of teen-agers >get wolf-wistled at >turn around and yell "ew thats gay" in my manliest voice >bike away while his friends laugh 40 KB JPG at him 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:25:53 No.816697581 >>816697201 (OP) # Man gay LOLI Trap hen Scere T UT kek 149 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:18:04 No.816697201 >t----- >bike home from work >ride past a group of teen-agers >get wolf-wistled at >turn around and yell "ew thats gay" in my manliest voice >bike away while his friends laugh 40 KB JPG at him 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:25:53 No.816697581 >>816697201 (OP) # Man gay LOLI Trap hen Scere T UT kek 149 KB JPG

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Anons balls itch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I need help 06/03/21(Thu)19:15:56 No.24304176 >be me >look at balls >go back to computer >my balls start to get itchy >scratch >still itchy 176 KB JPG Guys w-- why do my balls itch i cant stop scratching help me : Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)19:17:03 No.24304182 possibly ball cancer, get yourself checked
: Anonymous I need help 06/03/21(Thu)19:15:56 No.24304176 >be me >look at balls >go back to computer >my balls start to get itchy >scratch >still itchy 176 KB JPG Guys w-- why do my balls itch i cant stop scratching help me : Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)19:17:03 No.24304182 possibly ball cancer, get yourself checked

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Anon is Hacker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/20(Sun)22:36:59 No.819839554 We >>819836599 (OP)_# >be me, hacker >old definition of hacker we >person that is a god with computers >wrote my own os with networking and a disk driver 262 KB PNG >watch a f--- ton of hacker youtube >watch talk at defcon about loT >decide to try my hand at hacking into one >go to [redacted] (shodan.io but better) >search for iot s--- in my country >find a bunch of gsm internet routers that for some reason have remote management enabled by default >try default admin creds on a few of them >1 of them works >officially hacker in every sense of the word >f--- around with the web interface >maybe i can pwn it 100% >see ATM >H-------- F--- F--- F--- F--- F--- F--- >close browser completely >disconnect tor >turn pc off >cry for 1 hour polis please no bully i dindu nuffin please focus on people that actually cause harm imma be a good goy i promise
: Anonymous 02/02/20(Sun)22:36:59 No.819839554 We >>819836599 (OP)_# >be me, hacker >old definition of hacker we >person that is a god with computers >wrote my own os with networking and a disk driver 262 KB PNG >watch a f--- ton of hacker youtube >watch talk at defcon about loT >decide to try my hand at hacking into one >go to [redacted] (shodan.io but better) >search for iot s--- in my country >find a bunch of gsm internet routers that for some reason have remote management enabled by default >try default admin creds on a few of them >1 of them works >officially hacker in every sense of the word >f--- around with the web interface >maybe i can pwn it 100% >see ATM >H-------- F--- F--- F--- F--- F--- F--- >close browser completely >disconnect tor >turn pc off >cry for 1 hour polis please no bully i dindu nuffin please focus on people that actually cause harm imma be a good goy i promise

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Anon learns the piano | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)12:27:27 No.856214486 >synthesia piano “tutorial" on YouTube >you need 4 f------ hands Why do they call these types of f------ compositions a "tutorial"? I'm not going to grow any more 186 KB PNG hands you f------ retards
: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)12:27:27 No.856214486 >synthesia piano “tutorial" on YouTube >you need 4 f------ hands Why do they call these types of f------ compositions a "tutorial"? I'm not going to grow any more 186 KB PNG hands you f------ retards

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Anon Uses iPhone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21 (Sun)09:09:08 No.856203222 I swear to god apples Picture in Picture video thing is so f------ stupid. >be me, circa 5 minutes ago >talking to a 8.5/10 on snap > also happened to be beating the f--- out of my d--- at the time and watching the good p---. 628 KB PNG > screenshot something completely unrelated and send to girl >'um anon w-- is that' >uhh an Amazon listing? >' no the thing in the corner' >see the screenshot also got a frame of the Picture in Picture video of generic blonde getting her brains railed out >wellshit.mp3 >she assumes I'm trying to just get nudes and blocks me This s--- is ridiculous
: Anonymous 06/06/21 (Sun)09:09:08 No.856203222 I swear to god apples Picture in Picture video thing is so f------ stupid. >be me, circa 5 minutes ago >talking to a 8.5/10 on snap > also happened to be beating the f--- out of my d--- at the time and watching the good p---. 628 KB PNG > screenshot something completely unrelated and send to girl >'um anon w-- is that' >uhh an Amazon listing? >' no the thing in the corner' >see the screenshot also got a frame of the Picture in Picture video of generic blonde getting her brains railed out >wellshit.mp3 >she assumes I'm trying to just get nudes and blocks me This s--- is ridiculous

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Anon is disappointed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)00:12:09 No.558399151 >two armies meet after much anticipation >end game finale, supposed to be a major battle of epic proportions > Literally just a group of 4-6 people shooting at each other 502 KB JPG Name a bigger let down : Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)00:13:12 No.558399243 >name a bigger letdown Okay. >Spend 9 months carrying child >spend 25 years raising it >it turns out to be OP >>558399530 # >>558399565 # >>558399640 # >>558399869 # >>558399959 # >>558400048 # >>558400059 # >>558400187 # >>558400321 # >>558400648 # >>558400685 # >>558400710 # >>558402545 # >>558402651 # >>558402682 # >>558402792 # >>558403595 # >>558403614 # >>558404184 # >>558404687 # >>558404880 # >>558405015 # >>558406015 #3
: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)00:12:09 No.558399151 >two armies meet after much anticipation >end game finale, supposed to be a major battle of epic proportions > Literally just a group of 4-6 people shooting at each other 502 KB JPG Name a bigger let down : Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)00:13:12 No.558399243 >name a bigger letdown Okay. >Spend 9 months carrying child >spend 25 years raising it >it turns out to be OP >>558399530 # >>558399565 # >>558399640 # >>558399869 # >>558399959 # >>558400048 # >>558400059 # >>558400187 # >>558400321 # >>558400648 # >>558400685 # >>558400710 # >>558402545 # >>558402651 # >>558402682 # >>558402792 # >>558403595 # >>558403614 # >>558404184 # >>558404687 # >>558404880 # >>558405015 # >>558406015 #3

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Now where did my gah damn Cockskin cottage go? | /r/Greentext

>dont shower for a couple weeks >get nasty dickcheese >after a couple more weeks decide to see how the dickcheese is coming along >the dickcheese has disappeared where'd my dickcheese go? 6 KB JPG View Thread
>dont shower for a couple weeks >get nasty dickcheese >after a couple more weeks decide to see how the dickcheese is coming along >the dickcheese has disappeared where'd my dickcheese go? 6 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon does something ballsy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/04/21 (Fri)13:46:32 No.63991104 >At work >Do something ballsy (I guess?) >Woman co-worker tells me I have big balls >Didn't hear her correctly and I say "Yeah, they're getting smaller!" 102 KB PNG >Can tell that she is thinking w--
: Anonymous 06/04/21 (Fri)13:46:32 No.63991104 >At work >Do something ballsy (I guess?) >Woman co-worker tells me I have big balls >Didn't hear her correctly and I say "Yeah, they're getting smaller!" 102 KB PNG >Can tell that she is thinking w--

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Anon keeps getting hit on | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)14:08:14 No.856153528 Why do dudes keep hitting on me /b/? >Go to the store, dudes are checking me out >Go to the bar, dudes flirt with me and try to get my number >Go to the club, guys start trying to grind 494 KB JPG on me >Take a dump at the gas station and guys knock on my door asking if I want a "good time" What am I doing wrong? View Thread
: Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)14:08:14 No.856153528 Why do dudes keep hitting on me /b/? >Go to the store, dudes are checking me out >Go to the bar, dudes flirt with me and try to get my number >Go to the club, guys start trying to grind 494 KB JPG on me >Take a dump at the gas station and guys knock on my door asking if I want a "good time" What am I doing wrong? View Thread

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Anon doesn‘t enjoy parties | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)07:38:12 No.64019161 >go to a normie party >can't hear what anybody's saying and nobody can hear me due to loud music >it's just getting high or drunk for the sake of getting high or drunk >people are talking about stupid 19 KB JPG s--- that no one will retain or care about >it ends and i feel sick afterwards Does anybody relate to this? I unironically want to kill myself after a party
: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)07:38:12 No.64019161 >go to a normie party >can't hear what anybody's saying and nobody can hear me due to loud music >it's just getting high or drunk for the sake of getting high or drunk >people are talking about stupid 19 KB JPG s--- that no one will retain or care about >it ends and i feel sick afterwards Does anybody relate to this? I unironically want to kill myself after a party

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Anon is dating a gymnast | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/18(Sat)00:52:20 No.786847145 >be me >dating gymnast >she's been practicing for a competition >she's gotten even more flexible >"anon, I wanna try a new position | couldn't before" >hellyeah.jpg 17 KB JPG >she gets in super strange stretching position >we start going at it >it's not that great but I still finish >"how was it anon" >weird flex, but ok View Thread
: Anonymous 12/08/18(Sat)00:52:20 No.786847145 >be me >dating gymnast >she's been practicing for a competition >she's gotten even more flexible >"anon, I wanna try a new position | couldn't before" >hellyeah.jpg 17 KB JPG >she gets in super strange stretching position >we start going at it >it's not that great but I still finish >"how was it anon" >weird flex, but ok View Thread

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Anon has oneitis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)04:55:24 No.63526124 >trying to get over this girl >been more than a year since we stopped talking >think I'm finally over her >all of a sudden start dreaming about her 17 KB JPG >literally dreaming >wake up sad when it happens I didn't even date her, why won't she leave my head
: Anonymous 05/05/21(Wed)04:55:24 No.63526124 >trying to get over this girl >been more than a year since we stopped talking >think I'm finally over her >all of a sudden start dreaming about her 17 KB JPG >literally dreaming >wake up sad when it happens I didn't even date her, why won't she leave my head

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Anon hides his secret | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)10:39:04 No.63177018 >having my man period >mum walks in >"whats up with all the blood anon?" >"nosebleed" 7 KB PNG secrets safe lads
: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)10:39:04 No.63177018 >having my man period >mum walks in >"whats up with all the blood anon?" >"nosebleed" 7 KB PNG secrets safe lads

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