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Anon Gets Reverse-Trapped | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)23:53:45 >Be me >Be gay >Start looking at femboys, I start to like them >Go on forums and learn they are real >Start fantasizing about them >Decide to do something >Go to a club to try to hook up >Meet this cute femboy at the bar >After a few drinks we go to my place >Start making out >After a while things get heated >He gets undressed >He has a vagina >She isn't a femboy, shes just a normal girl >MFW I'm actually straight and not a f-----
Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)23:53:45 >Be me >Be gay >Start looking at femboys, I start to like them >Go on forums and learn they are real >Start fantasizing about them >Decide to do something >Go to a club to try to hook up >Meet this cute femboy at the bar >After a few drinks we go to my place >Start making out >After a while things get heated >He gets undressed >He has a vagina >She isn't a femboy, shes just a normal girl >MFW I'm actually straight and not a f-----

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:Anonymous 08/02/18(Thu)14:53:00 No.77604414 >be me >5 >my uncle rapes me See you later virgins 38 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/02/18(Thu)15:02:52 No.776044656 >>776044142 (OP) # bye
:Anonymous 08/02/18(Thu)14:53:00 No.77604414 >be me >5 >my uncle rapes me See you later virgins 38 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/02/18(Thu)15:02:52 No.776044656 >>776044142 (OP) # bye

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Anon doesnt believe in microwaves | /r/Greentext

>no fire >spinning plate (???) 107 KB JPG >hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm >beep beep beep beep >food is hot just imagine believing in microwave 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
>no fire >spinning plate (???) 107 KB JPG >hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm >beep beep beep beep >food is hot just imagine believing in microwave 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon shares his feelings | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)14:34:27 No.856298809 >feels time, /b/ >uncertain on what to do with my life back when I was 18 >can't hold a job and too stoopid for college >killing myself was always an option in my mind 86 KB JPG >i was afraid to do it tho >no friends or family to help me figure my s--- out either >girl I knew from HS messages me one day out of the blue >remembers me for some reason even though we never talked >entertaining and fun to talk to >doesn't take too long for me to crush on her >don't wanna mess things up, so never tell her how I feel >i am starting to appreciate life more solely because of her at this point >to my despair, she ghosts me out of nowhere >fuckmylife.jpeg >at this point l'm so frustrated I need to get it out of my chest >go on and message her long paragraphs calling her a cruel nagging bitch for doing that to me and so on >she sends the last message l'd get from her a week later: "I'm sorry, my mom got corona and died last month" now before you screencap this and post it to plebbit, read the first letter of each sentence
: Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)14:34:27 No.856298809 >feels time, /b/ >uncertain on what to do with my life back when I was 18 >can't hold a job and too stoopid for college >killing myself was always an option in my mind 86 KB JPG >i was afraid to do it tho >no friends or family to help me figure my s--- out either >girl I knew from HS messages me one day out of the blue >remembers me for some reason even though we never talked >entertaining and fun to talk to >doesn't take too long for me to crush on her >don't wanna mess things up, so never tell her how I feel >i am starting to appreciate life more solely because of her at this point >to my despair, she ghosts me out of nowhere >fuckmylife.jpeg >at this point l'm so frustrated I need to get it out of my chest >go on and message her long paragraphs calling her a cruel nagging bitch for doing that to me and so on >she sends the last message l'd get from her a week later: "I'm sorry, my mom got corona and died last month" now before you screencap this and post it to plebbit, read the first letter of each sentence

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Anon is a coomer | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Have super ashy skin (I'm white) >So bad that in the mid- summer I sometimes bleed from my skin cracking >Go to dermatologist 74 KB JPG >Get this lotion thats supposed to help >300 dollars a bottle >Get home >J------- with it
>Be me >Have super ashy skin (I'm white) >So bad that in the mid- summer I sometimes bleed from my skin cracking >Go to dermatologist 74 KB JPG >Get this lotion thats supposed to help >300 dollars a bottle >Get home >J------- with it

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Anon is watching a movie with his family | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/23/17(Sat)23:41:57 No.88111436 v terrorpepe.jpg (29 KB, 600x600) google yandex igdb wait >>88111638 >>88111677 >watching movie with family >sex scene imminent >"b-bathroom" >get up and run to bathroom, lock door >after a minute, worry that they might be listening >slowly dump bottle of mouthwash into toilet so it sounds like i'm peeing >realize that i've been in the bathroom too long to just be peeing >start loudly making grunting noises >drop the bar of soap into toilet and let out a sigh of relief >flush, soap clogs the toilet >if i ask for the plunger, they might see that it's mom's good soap clogging it >reach in with my hands and manage to break up the soap bar >toilet flushes >realize i can't wash my hands without soap >wipe them all over my shirt, now it looks like i've been sweating >i think they'll buy it >go back to sit down with family >"jesus anon, are you okay?" >"y-yeah, haha" >"good. here, we paused the movie when you got up"
Anonymous 09/23/17(Sat)23:41:57 No.88111436 v terrorpepe.jpg (29 KB, 600x600) google yandex igdb wait >>88111638 >>88111677 >watching movie with family >sex scene imminent >"b-bathroom" >get up and run to bathroom, lock door >after a minute, worry that they might be listening >slowly dump bottle of mouthwash into toilet so it sounds like i'm peeing >realize that i've been in the bathroom too long to just be peeing >start loudly making grunting noises >drop the bar of soap into toilet and let out a sigh of relief >flush, soap clogs the toilet >if i ask for the plunger, they might see that it's mom's good soap clogging it >reach in with my hands and manage to break up the soap bar >toilet flushes >realize i can't wash my hands without soap >wipe them all over my shirt, now it looks like i've been sweating >i think they'll buy it >go back to sit down with family >"jesus anon, are you okay?" >"y-yeah, haha" >"good. here, we paused the movie when you got up"

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Anon gets roasted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)13:19:14 No.64040670 >nearly ten years ago >be 18 uind >compete shut in for six months post graduation >like to play minecraft >load up a seed, decide to leave it open for other players 31 KB JPG >player immediately loads in >it's a kid >we start talking >asks why I'm using my sister's Xbox account >w--.jpg this is my account >my username is very feminine, as I am female >he laughs and says "you don't sound like a girl" >respond "yeah well my allergies are bad so my voice sounds raspy" >he replies "o..." clears his throat, trying to make his voice deeper "well you know I'm like, 15 so... yeah... how old are you?" >little fella is clearly no older than 10 >smile and gently call him out, say "dude c'mon there's no way you're older than 10, it's okay though" >he sighs >says "yeah.... but at least I don't sound like a crusty drag queen" >he disconnects >sitting there, dumbfounded >mfw I just got roasted by a child
: Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)13:19:14 No.64040670 >nearly ten years ago >be 18 uind >compete shut in for six months post graduation >like to play minecraft >load up a seed, decide to leave it open for other players 31 KB JPG >player immediately loads in >it's a kid >we start talking >asks why I'm using my sister's Xbox account >w--.jpg this is my account >my username is very feminine, as I am female >he laughs and says "you don't sound like a girl" >respond "yeah well my allergies are bad so my voice sounds raspy" >he replies "o..." clears his throat, trying to make his voice deeper "well you know I'm like, 15 so... yeah... how old are you?" >little fella is clearly no older than 10 >smile and gently call him out, say "dude c'mon there's no way you're older than 10, it's okay though" >he sighs >says "yeah.... but at least I don't sound like a crusty drag queen" >he disconnects >sitting there, dumbfounded >mfw I just got roasted by a child

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Anon plays the game and wins | /r/Greentext

youknow.jpg (44 KB, 750x1000) google yandex iqdb wait I Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)23:02:22 No.856235180 v >>856235461 >>856235484 >>856236176 > Working at IT department in bank > Company currently joined the woke-train and now we get all kinds of workshops on why straight white men are the devil > Roll eyes - none of the Directors/VPs are of color.. > People start to insert moronic 'she/her' and 'his/him' to their signatures > Getting so annoyed by this, I insert 'they/them' in my signature > One of my colleagues (and one of the drivers behind this whole moronification of signatures) asks me about my signature >I reply "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about these things at work - please just respects my pronouns" > This person goes mad, accusing me of mocking the pronouns >I think "F--- it. No way for her to prove it", and step to HR to complain > Colleague is being asked to stop her questioning (and gets her first official warning), but still brings it up two more times >I go to HR again, she gets her second official warning > I'm enjoying that this moronic s--- is now biting the proponents in their ass > Again, she's alluding to my pronouns not being genuine during a meeting >I make a big scene of it (lulz), and HR gets involved again > Last Friday was her last day.
youknow.jpg (44 KB, 750x1000) google yandex iqdb wait I Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)23:02:22 No.856235180 v >>856235461 >>856235484 >>856236176 > Working at IT department in bank > Company currently joined the woke-train and now we get all kinds of workshops on why straight white men are the devil > Roll eyes - none of the Directors/VPs are of color.. > People start to insert moronic 'she/her' and 'his/him' to their signatures > Getting so annoyed by this, I insert 'they/them' in my signature > One of my colleagues (and one of the drivers behind this whole moronification of signatures) asks me about my signature >I reply "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about these things at work - please just respects my pronouns" > This person goes mad, accusing me of mocking the pronouns >I think "F--- it. No way for her to prove it", and step to HR to complain > Colleague is being asked to stop her questioning (and gets her first official warning), but still brings it up two more times >I go to HR again, she gets her second official warning > I'm enjoying that this moronic s--- is now biting the proponents in their ass > Again, she's alluding to my pronouns not being genuine during a meeting >I make a big scene of it (lulz), and HR gets involved again > Last Friday was her last day.

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Anon is a gamer.. | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes on dates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Troll goes on dates 06/07/21(Mon)14:22:45 No.64037650 >be me >in a good mood >decide to go on dates with women >pick the most plastic-looking ones >"Oh nice eyebrows, if you were to blink too fast l'm afraid you would 62 KB JPG hit an airplane" >"What's up with your lips? Were you stung by a bee? You look like pufferfish!" >"Nice blush, how many kilograms did you put on"? >"Beautiful hair, but it seems more scorched than Russia from all the ironing" >"Good looking jeans, did you steal them from the 12-year-old boy's locker room? Because they seem very tight for someone your size" >"Can you tell me how much work dis you put in your contour, was it to hide your double chin I can see from across the table?" >lt was a pleasure, ladies.
: Anonymous Troll goes on dates 06/07/21(Mon)14:22:45 No.64037650 >be me >in a good mood >decide to go on dates with women >pick the most plastic-looking ones >"Oh nice eyebrows, if you were to blink too fast l'm afraid you would 62 KB JPG hit an airplane" >"What's up with your lips? Were you stung by a bee? You look like pufferfish!" >"Nice blush, how many kilograms did you put on"? >"Beautiful hair, but it seems more scorched than Russia from all the ironing" >"Good looking jeans, did you steal them from the 12-year-old boy's locker room? Because they seem very tight for someone your size" >"Can you tell me how much work dis you put in your contour, was it to hide your double chin I can see from across the table?" >lt was a pleasure, ladies.

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Anon lives in a dystopia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)02:09:59 No.846027205 >live in Tolerance Zone #65 >be nu-trans fourth-trimester transsensual Angst Profile ZETA-8 genderqueer pseudo-d--- reformed lesbiophilic heteromollusc >see cis thin white male at the zoo 1016 KB PNG >ask "mommies, what's that?" >they don't know >Genderless Polyamorous Parental Unit #2 takes me into a Safe Zone and engages the Feelings Shield >tells me that it is a monster from the beforetime >tells me not to be scared, because the monsters' penisocracy was smashed by the forces of the LBJQGTA5 Coalition in the Patriarchy Wars >start to cry >s/he opens his and/or her rainbow mesh vest and retrieves an estrogen pill to cheer me up >feeling the calming femininity wash over me >s/he tells me that the monsters aren't allowed to hurt anyone anymore, only to work, to support our glorious society >throw Privilege Peanuts at him >everyone laughs >take some soma >go home, tune in to CNN and celebrate the first couple of weeks of Joe Biden's Presidency of the United States of America >mfw
: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)02:09:59 No.846027205 >live in Tolerance Zone #65 >be nu-trans fourth-trimester transsensual Angst Profile ZETA-8 genderqueer pseudo-d--- reformed lesbiophilic heteromollusc >see cis thin white male at the zoo 1016 KB PNG >ask "mommies, what's that?" >they don't know >Genderless Polyamorous Parental Unit #2 takes me into a Safe Zone and engages the Feelings Shield >tells me that it is a monster from the beforetime >tells me not to be scared, because the monsters' penisocracy was smashed by the forces of the LBJQGTA5 Coalition in the Patriarchy Wars >start to cry >s/he opens his and/or her rainbow mesh vest and retrieves an estrogen pill to cheer me up >feeling the calming femininity wash over me >s/he tells me that the monsters aren't allowed to hurt anyone anymore, only to work, to support our glorious society >throw Privilege Peanuts at him >everyone laughs >take some soma >go home, tune in to CNN and celebrate the first couple of weeks of Joe Biden's Presidency of the United States of America >mfw

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Anon doesn’t believes in “science” | /r/Greentext

>be you >Vaccinated with Pfizer >Proud >Find out that vaccines aren't FDA approved >find out that Pfizer is a f------ boner pill company 54 KB JPG >question your life choices
>be you >Vaccinated with Pfizer >Proud >Find out that vaccines aren't FDA approved >find out that Pfizer is a f------ boner pill company 54 KB JPG >question your life choices

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Anon doesn't need human language | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)14:14:29 No.855738093 >>855735301_(OP)# Meow Meow Meow Meow 13% Meow Meow Meow, Meow Meow Meow 52% Meow Meow. 595 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)14:14:29 No.855738093 >>855735301_(OP)# Meow Meow Meow Meow 13% Meow Meow Meow, Meow Meow Meow 52% Meow Meow. 595 KB PNG

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Anon puts himself in the shoes of an Americuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: UFDZFEnj ) 1 06/06/21(Sun)21:04:43 No.324893571 >>324892656 # >be american >wake up at 6am because have to work so the illegal immigrant family next door can take half your earnings >get in car >dont own it, the bank does >spend 3 hours getting to work at goldbergs s--- office inc. >on the way to the front door get confronted by a n----- >he orders you to kneel >you do because "its a blue city, just wait till they reach the suburbs" >go to slave away at the office >end job at 5 or something >walk out >get shot >call uber because its cheaper than an ambulance >get to the doc >he rejects you because you didnt get vaxxed yet >gives you the bill >go bankrupt >uber cancels your account because of some posts you made 10 years back >walk home >get shot on the way back by a n----- >oh man if he didnt live in a blue state the day of the rope would be upon us >walk in house >wife f------ a n----- >but its okay because he didnt c-- inside, otherwise you'd shoot him >n----- leaves >notice he stole your TV on the way out >chase after him >he pulls a gun >get shot >shoot him too >police arrive >get arrested for murder >hold out hands to get handcuffed >female police officer pulls out a taser >get shot by a 9mm electode instead
: Anonymous (ID: UFDZFEnj ) 1 06/06/21(Sun)21:04:43 No.324893571 >>324892656 # >be american >wake up at 6am because have to work so the illegal immigrant family next door can take half your earnings >get in car >dont own it, the bank does >spend 3 hours getting to work at goldbergs s--- office inc. >on the way to the front door get confronted by a n----- >he orders you to kneel >you do because "its a blue city, just wait till they reach the suburbs" >go to slave away at the office >end job at 5 or something >walk out >get shot >call uber because its cheaper than an ambulance >get to the doc >he rejects you because you didnt get vaxxed yet >gives you the bill >go bankrupt >uber cancels your account because of some posts you made 10 years back >walk home >get shot on the way back by a n----- >oh man if he didnt live in a blue state the day of the rope would be upon us >walk in house >wife f------ a n----- >but its okay because he didnt c-- inside, otherwise you'd shoot him >n----- leaves >notice he stole your TV on the way out >chase after him >he pulls a gun >get shot >shoot him too >police arrive >get arrested for murder >hold out hands to get handcuffed >female police officer pulls out a taser >get shot by a 9mm electode instead

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Anon manipulates his ex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)00:57:45 No.856262696 >be me, sad and lonely one night >text ex saying I miss her >psycho BPD bitch but she's an 8/10 and great sex >next morning we start talking >she'd mad at me but clearly her 67 KB JPG crazy mind still wants me >tells me how sad she was after I left >lost friends and hated herself >tell her l'm not gonna leave her anymore >tell her I care about her >f--- that night >c-- >immediately regret texting her and want to ghost her again but l'm scared she'll do something to herself this time Why am I like this?
: Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)00:57:45 No.856262696 >be me, sad and lonely one night >text ex saying I miss her >psycho BPD bitch but she's an 8/10 and great sex >next morning we start talking >she'd mad at me but clearly her 67 KB JPG crazy mind still wants me >tells me how sad she was after I left >lost friends and hated herself >tell her l'm not gonna leave her anymore >tell her I care about her >f--- that night >c-- >immediately regret texting her and want to ghost her again but l'm scared she'll do something to herself this time Why am I like this?

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r/greentext | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/25/19(Thu)23:56:41 No.781637E > be me, femnon with neckbeard bf > bf wont leave house, wont text, wont call > bf still leaves house for his friends so not a full neet > ask bf why "bc its different with you anon" 9 KB JPG > say feelings > left on read am i cursed to be with neets? 43 Replies / 7 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 04/25/19(Thu)23:56:41 No.781637E > be me, femnon with neckbeard bf > bf wont leave house, wont text, wont call > bf still leaves house for his friends so not a full neet > ask bf why "bc its different with you anon" 9 KB JPG > say feelings > left on read am i cursed to be with neets? 43 Replies / 7 Images View Thread

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This is 4chan | /r/Greentext


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It’s okay bud, I forgot about it too | /r/Greentext


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Girls smh my head | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/11/20(Fri)04:05:21 No.57372498 >see girls constantly talk about how difficult it is to lose weight >they all try several different methods and none of them work >realize i'm getting a bit chubby >decided it's time to lose weight >learn the basics of nutrition and 1.52 MB GIF exercise in a couple of days >lose almost 10kg in a month with minor lifestyle and dietary adjustements >none of it required any real effort Sigh. Why must I be cursed with male discipline and pragmatism /fit/?
: Anonymous 09/11/20(Fri)04:05:21 No.57372498 >see girls constantly talk about how difficult it is to lose weight >they all try several different methods and none of them work >realize i'm getting a bit chubby >decided it's time to lose weight >learn the basics of nutrition and 1.52 MB GIF exercise in a couple of days >lose almost 10kg in a month with minor lifestyle and dietary adjustements >none of it required any real effort Sigh. Why must I be cursed with male discipline and pragmatism /fit/?

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Anon gets caught being a coomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/16(Sat)17:08:18 No.702431120 >My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert >Just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating >So she calls me a pervert 404 KB JPG again?!? >There is no justice in the world... : Anonymous 09/03/16(Sat)17:15:16 No.702431870 Pervert.
: Anonymous 09/03/16(Sat)17:08:18 No.702431120 >My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert >Just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating >So she calls me a pervert 404 KB JPG again?!? >There is no justice in the world... : Anonymous 09/03/16(Sat)17:15:16 No.702431870 Pervert.

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