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Anon does the dishes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)19:25:30 No.856422976 >have to do dishes with family >dad washes, I dry, lil bro puts away >all fine.exe >all of a sudden lil bro picks up this slightly smaller fry pan >starts chanting “baby pan" over 17 KB JPG and over again >sigh.wav >dad starts singing baby shark but now it's baby pan >have to stand there and listen for half an hour >mfw why is my family like this anons
: Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)19:25:30 No.856422976 >have to do dishes with family >dad washes, I dry, lil bro puts away >all fine.exe >all of a sudden lil bro picks up this slightly smaller fry pan >starts chanting “baby pan" over 17 KB JPG and over again >sigh.wav >dad starts singing baby shark but now it's baby pan >have to stand there and listen for half an hour >mfw why is my family like this anons

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Santa knows | /r/Greentext

2d (6/7 4:29) 28800859 JPG 183KB (1041 x 1009) 7 Replies ok I got one >be about 6 years old >obsessed with Toy Story >it's my favorite movie ever >one December my mom takes me to the mall to see Santa and tell him what I want for Christmas >Sitting on Santa's lap, I told him about all the things I wanted, but I FORGOT to tell him I wanted a toy slinky dog like the one in Toy Story (pic related) >Only realized when I got home that I forgot to tell Santa I wanted a slinky dog >Start crying >mom asks me what's wrong >tell her I forgot to ask Santa for a slinky dog so now Christmas is ruined >mom tells me "don't worry sweetie, I'm sure Santa will know" >I don't believe her but whatever >anyway, Christmas day comes >l open my presents. >l don't believe my eyes >f------ slinky dog right there. >l've never been so happy >because I was so happy I never questioned the bizarreness of the situation. >It's only years later as an adult that I realized something ]How the F--- did Santa know I wanted a slinky dog??? ...
2d (6/7 4:29) 28800859 JPG 183KB (1041 x 1009) 7 Replies ok I got one >be about 6 years old >obsessed with Toy Story >it's my favorite movie ever >one December my mom takes me to the mall to see Santa and tell him what I want for Christmas >Sitting on Santa's lap, I told him about all the things I wanted, but I FORGOT to tell him I wanted a toy slinky dog like the one in Toy Story (pic related) >Only realized when I got home that I forgot to tell Santa I wanted a slinky dog >Start crying >mom asks me what's wrong >tell her I forgot to ask Santa for a slinky dog so now Christmas is ruined >mom tells me "don't worry sweetie, I'm sure Santa will know" >I don't believe her but whatever >anyway, Christmas day comes >l open my presents. >l don't believe my eyes >f------ slinky dog right there. >l've never been so happy >because I was so happy I never questioned the bizarreness of the situation. >It's only years later as an adult that I realized something ]How the F--- did Santa know I wanted a slinky dog??? ...

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Anon speaks to a hot girl in class | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous06/07/17(Wed)22:27:04 No.37570730 >really hot girl in class >decide to work up the courage to speak to her >"H-hey.. c-can I borrow your pen for a second?" >she hands me her pen >realize I dont even have 24 KB JPG paper to write on >shes staring at me >My mind is racing what to do >Draw a penis on my hand >give her back her pen and walk away
: Anonymous06/07/17(Wed)22:27:04 No.37570730 >really hot girl in class >decide to work up the courage to speak to her >"H-hey.. c-can I borrow your pen for a second?" >she hands me her pen >realize I dont even have 24 KB JPG paper to write on >shes staring at me >My mind is racing what to do >Draw a penis on my hand >give her back her pen and walk away

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/b in a nutshell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)15:38:53 No.853857490 Before corona >on college, doing well >have a all right side gig >have girlfriend >have loving family 42 KB JPG >have social life Now >college going meh, lost the will to study >lost the side job >had to move >girlfriend dumped me >grandparents died of rona >dad had a hearth attack because of corona induced stress >niece has cancer >best friend hanged himself yesterday I thing i might just jump in front of the train : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)15:39:47 No.853857526 >>853857490 (OP)# If you do, link to the stream on here. Thanks
: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)15:38:53 No.853857490 Before corona >on college, doing well >have a all right side gig >have girlfriend >have loving family 42 KB JPG >have social life Now >college going meh, lost the will to study >lost the side job >had to move >girlfriend dumped me >grandparents died of rona >dad had a hearth attack because of corona induced stress >niece has cancer >best friend hanged himself yesterday I thing i might just jump in front of the train : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)15:39:47 No.853857526 >>853857490 (OP)# If you do, link to the stream on here. Thanks

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Anon figures out life | /r/Greentext

ttom] [Update] [ Auto] jng (18 KB, 389x389) IAnonymous 05/ >have "problem" >don't care >have no problem Life is literally so easy.
ttom] [Update] [ Auto] jng (18 KB, 389x389) IAnonymous 05/ >have "problem" >don't care >have no problem Life is literally so easy.

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Anon found a Youtube channel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)20:43:20 No.804024147 >be me >watching anything and everything on youtube as usual >watch a video i find legit hilarious >actually laugh and feel happy >channel has over 100 videos, over 10 minutes long, and all equally hilarious 157 KB PNG >binge watch all of them over the course of three days >no more videos >only uploads every couple weeks >source of entertainment and happiness gone >feel sad and empty
: Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)20:43:20 No.804024147 >be me >watching anything and everything on youtube as usual >watch a video i find legit hilarious >actually laugh and feel happy >channel has over 100 videos, over 10 minutes long, and all equally hilarious 157 KB PNG >binge watch all of them over the course of three days >no more videos >only uploads every couple weeks >source of entertainment and happiness gone >feel sad and empty

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shitting blocks | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/08/21 (Tue)18:59:07 No.856393933 ► >>856394000 >>856394036 File: PAIN.jpg (54 KB, 680x630) >doctor gives me pill to fix my stomach flu >says it'll make my digestive temperature fluctuate >eat buttload of ice cause iť's hot as hell >suddenly have to s--- >ice didn't melt >end up s------- out blocks and shards of ice f--- you doctor
Anonymous 06/08/21 (Tue)18:59:07 No.856393933 ► >>856394000 >>856394036 File: PAIN.jpg (54 KB, 680x630) >doctor gives me pill to fix my stomach flu >says it'll make my digestive temperature fluctuate >eat buttload of ice cause iť's hot as hell >suddenly have to s--- >ice didn't melt >end up s------- out blocks and shards of ice f--- you doctor

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Just fix your personality bro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/18(Mon)05:54:53 No.760416428 >be him >beat a child almost to death >get in prison >women donating 1 million dollar to bail him out of prison >get model job after prison >is marrying billionaire daughter 155 KB JPG >is cheating on billionaire with ex >billionaire forgives him Look don't matter. If you wanna get somewhere in life you gotta work for it. Right guys? 144 Replies / 28 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 02/19/18(Mon)05:54:53 No.760416428 >be him >beat a child almost to death >get in prison >women donating 1 million dollar to bail him out of prison >get model job after prison >is marrying billionaire daughter 155 KB JPG >is cheating on billionaire with ex >billionaire forgives him Look don't matter. If you wanna get somewhere in life you gotta work for it. Right guys? 144 Replies / 28 Images View Thread

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Anon gets a puppy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/13/19(Wed)13:55:42 No.792533342 >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea 31 KB PNG >l will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy
: Anonymous 02/13/19(Wed)13:55:42 No.792533342 >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea 31 KB PNG >l will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy

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Degeneracy at its finest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:00:45 No.64048971 >tfw finally got a gf >no longer have to spend hours here trying to simp for fembots I gave them so much attention only for them to ghost me. I got the last laugh you mentally ill 32 KB JPG c----. : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:01:46 No.64048976 anon there were never any fembots : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:03:09 No.64048989 >people actually simp for guys pretending to be girls on this board How does humanity thrive? >>64049307 #
: Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:00:45 No.64048971 >tfw finally got a gf >no longer have to spend hours here trying to simp for fembots I gave them so much attention only for them to ghost me. I got the last laugh you mentally ill 32 KB JPG c----. : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:01:46 No.64048976 anon there were never any fembots : Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:03:09 No.64048989 >people actually simp for guys pretending to be girls on this board How does humanity thrive? >>64049307 #

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Anon was betrayed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 54072054 3 min. ago >be me >29 >been with gf for 5 years, living with her for 3 >dinner date, plan to propose, asked bro waiter to bring ring after dessert >she seems nervous, maybe she knows what I'm planning >tears up after main course >tells me she's been cheating on me for 8 months 1.6 MB GIF >with my best friend >leaves weeping >waiter hands me a beer without comment >this was our 5th anniversary date It doesn't get better, anons. Life is indeed suffering. Maybe l'll just ask out the waiter and go full gay. Where's the tavern when you need it.
Anonymous 54072054 3 min. ago >be me >29 >been with gf for 5 years, living with her for 3 >dinner date, plan to propose, asked bro waiter to bring ring after dessert >she seems nervous, maybe she knows what I'm planning >tears up after main course >tells me she's been cheating on me for 8 months 1.6 MB GIF >with my best friend >leaves weeping >waiter hands me a beer without comment >this was our 5th anniversary date It doesn't get better, anons. Life is indeed suffering. Maybe l'll just ask out the waiter and go full gay. Where's the tavern when you need it.

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Anon describes plebbit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)13:31:19 No.64063911 >No I'm more pathetic than YOU! >lol NO I'm MORE PATHETIC than YOU!! 80 KB JPG >>64063937 #
: Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)13:31:19 No.64063911 >No I'm more pathetic than YOU! >lol NO I'm MORE PATHETIC than YOU!! 80 KB JPG >>64063937 #

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/out/ discusses bringing oil out on the trail | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous olive oil pill 05/20/21(Thu)03:04:27 No.2113275 olive oil should be in everyones gear. >240 cals per ounce >safe to drink up to two ounces a Its not a Trennd, Its a Tradition. day >can be stored in a water bottle 439 KB JPG holder >super light >can be stored in a water bottle >refreshing drink >if you have been poisoned drink more than 2 ounces to make yourself vomit or s--- out the poison >good for lubrication; pour on ones self in the event of a bear attack to slide downhill towards saftey bring olive oil. what are some of your other secret foods? : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)03:12:44 No.2113281 Olive oil is no good only sunflower seed oil >>2113785 # >>2116506 # >>2119082 # >>2119093 # Anonymous05/23/21(Sun)10:41:28 No.2116506 : Anonymo >>2113281 # > good fo seed oils make you retarded and gay Yeah i kno
: Anonymous olive oil pill 05/20/21(Thu)03:04:27 No.2113275 olive oil should be in everyones gear. >240 cals per ounce >safe to drink up to two ounces a Its not a Trennd, Its a Tradition. day >can be stored in a water bottle 439 KB JPG holder >super light >can be stored in a water bottle >refreshing drink >if you have been poisoned drink more than 2 ounces to make yourself vomit or s--- out the poison >good for lubrication; pour on ones self in the event of a bear attack to slide downhill towards saftey bring olive oil. what are some of your other secret foods? : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)03:12:44 No.2113281 Olive oil is no good only sunflower seed oil >>2113785 # >>2116506 # >>2119082 # >>2119093 # Anonymous05/23/21(Sun)10:41:28 No.2116506 : Anonymo >>2113281 # > good fo seed oils make you retarded and gay Yeah i kno

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Anon is specific | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)17:44:37 No.64061782 1622341681167.png 108 KB PNG >tfw not attracted to men >get super aroused at the thought of someone putting a [much larger] d--- on top of my own, comparing the two and bullying me about my small penis >this specific fantasy is becoming more and more pronounced by the day >>64061845 # >>64061888 # >>64061920 #
: Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)17:44:37 No.64061782 1622341681167.png 108 KB PNG >tfw not attracted to men >get super aroused at the thought of someone putting a [much larger] d--- on top of my own, comparing the two and bullying me about my small penis >this specific fantasy is becoming more and more pronounced by the day >>64061845 # >>64061888 # >>64061920 #

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Anon has a nice date | /r/Greentext

File: 1603420274503s.jpg (3 KB, 125x119) O Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)22:51:16 No.856407726 ► >be me >match with a gril on tinder >meet up at a local coffee place >waiting for her to show up >f------ 10 foot long shoe enters through the door >what.png >its her, the bitch I matched with is in full f------ clown costume >red nose, white make-up, and the f------ shoes >she walks up to me and squirts me in the face with a flower on her dress >classic >she walks up the counter and honks three times >person behind the counter nods and says "coming right up" >hands her coffee >she then reaches into her mouth and pulls out a rope of single dollar bills tied together >cashier is visibly disgusted >"its on the house" >she honks 3 times and comes over to my table >sits down and the loudest f------ whoopie cushion known to man erupts under her >have a really hard time f------ talking to her (she speaks in honks only) >somehow get her to come back to my place >"its just down the street, we can walk there" >she shakes her head and honks at me >takes me to her car thats the size of a f------ tricycle >ohno.png >get in it >its really spacious on the inside >drive back to my place >she f------ juggles my balls like a goddess where the f--- is your clown gf anon?
File: 1603420274503s.jpg (3 KB, 125x119) O Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)22:51:16 No.856407726 ► >be me >match with a gril on tinder >meet up at a local coffee place >waiting for her to show up >f------ 10 foot long shoe enters through the door >what.png >its her, the bitch I matched with is in full f------ clown costume >red nose, white make-up, and the f------ shoes >she walks up to me and squirts me in the face with a flower on her dress >classic >she walks up the counter and honks three times >person behind the counter nods and says "coming right up" >hands her coffee >she then reaches into her mouth and pulls out a rope of single dollar bills tied together >cashier is visibly disgusted >"its on the house" >she honks 3 times and comes over to my table >sits down and the loudest f------ whoopie cushion known to man erupts under her >have a really hard time f------ talking to her (she speaks in honks only) >somehow get her to come back to my place >"its just down the street, we can walk there" >she shakes her head and honks at me >takes me to her car thats the size of a f------ tricycle >ohno.png >get in it >its really spacious on the inside >drive back to my place >she f------ juggles my balls like a goddess where the f--- is your clown gf anon?

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/x/anon summoned a succubus | /r/Greentext

>finally summon a succubus >i'm ready for her to suck my soul out of me through my pp >she says let's just be friends
>finally summon a succubus >i'm ready for her to suck my soul out of me through my pp >she says let's just be friends

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Anon gets co worker in trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)19:54:50 No.855127928 > Working at IT department in bank > Company currently joined the woke-train and now we get all kinds of workshops on why straight white men are the devil > Roll eyes - none of the Directors/VPs are of color... 83 KB JPG > People start to insert moronic 'she/her' and 'his/him' to their signatures > Getting so annoyed by this, I insert 'they/them' in my signature > One of my colleagues (and one of the drivers behind this whole moronification of signatures) asks me about my signature > I reply "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about these things at work - please just respects my pronouns" > This person goes mad, accusing me of mocking the pronouns > I think "F--- it. No way for her to prove it", and step to HR to complain > Colleague is being asked to stop her questioning (and gets her first official warning), but still brings it up two more times > I go to HR again, she gets her second official warning > I'm enjoying that this moronic s--- is now biting the proponents in their ass > Again, she's alluding to my pronouns not being genuine during a meeting >I make a big scene of it (lulz), and HR gets involved again > Last Friday was her last day.
: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)19:54:50 No.855127928 > Working at IT department in bank > Company currently joined the woke-train and now we get all kinds of workshops on why straight white men are the devil > Roll eyes - none of the Directors/VPs are of color... 83 KB JPG > People start to insert moronic 'she/her' and 'his/him' to their signatures > Getting so annoyed by this, I insert 'they/them' in my signature > One of my colleagues (and one of the drivers behind this whole moronification of signatures) asks me about my signature > I reply "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about these things at work - please just respects my pronouns" > This person goes mad, accusing me of mocking the pronouns > I think "F--- it. No way for her to prove it", and step to HR to complain > Colleague is being asked to stop her questioning (and gets her first official warning), but still brings it up two more times > I go to HR again, she gets her second official warning > I'm enjoying that this moronic s--- is now biting the proponents in their ass > Again, she's alluding to my pronouns not being genuine during a meeting >I make a big scene of it (lulz), and HR gets involved again > Last Friday was her last day.

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Anon likes traps | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Be 19yrs >Still live with parents >Find out what traps are > Beat my meat everyday to traps > Dad walks in on me mid-fap with my monitor showing a dudes nuts slapping another dudes while he's 55 KB JPG thrusting into his ass >Dad looks at my monitor for like 10 whole seconds before leaving >Dont speak to him for 2 weeks Does my dad hate me now?
>Be me >Be 19yrs >Still live with parents >Find out what traps are > Beat my meat everyday to traps > Dad walks in on me mid-fap with my monitor showing a dudes nuts slapping another dudes while he's 55 KB JPG thrusting into his ass >Dad looks at my monitor for like 10 whole seconds before leaving >Dont speak to him for 2 weeks Does my dad hate me now?

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r/greentext | /r/Greentext

>heard No Man's Sky is finally good. >bought copy and start up game >found random generated planet to NO MAN'S SKY land >suddenly ship crash lands >must be part of game 16 KB JPG >everything black >character finally opens eyes >suddenly riding behind cart >"Hey, you. You're finally awake." >gdi todd howard.
>heard No Man's Sky is finally good. >bought copy and start up game >found random generated planet to NO MAN'S SKY land >suddenly ship crash lands >must be part of game 16 KB JPG >everything black >character finally opens eyes >suddenly riding behind cart >"Hey, you. You're finally awake." >gdi todd howard.

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Anon is an incel... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ARa/GrUI Wife School 06/08/21(Tue)08:20:56 No.325085930 >fathers send their daughters to wife school >state or privately funded >women learn all the skills necessary to be a good wife >cooking >cleaning 120 KB JPG >housemaking >minimal math for grocery shopping and measurements >child rearing >sex classes (when old enough) >fashion & modesty >animal caretaking >gardening >emotional support >you are a low to middle status man >walk in to wife school >women are graded from E up through A, and then S >grades factored by technical skill, age, attractiveness, personality >graded women are separated by floor, each floor higher in the building a higher grade woman >step out of the elevator on your chosen floor >staff blows a whistle, girls called to assemblyroom >you walk in >topless girls age 16-22 lined up for you to choose >each has a name tag with father's contact information >choose girl according to her grade and your status >contact her father and make arrangements >walk out with well trained, traditional wife Posted in r/IncelTear O reddit
: Anonymous (ID: ARa/GrUI Wife School 06/08/21(Tue)08:20:56 No.325085930 >fathers send their daughters to wife school >state or privately funded >women learn all the skills necessary to be a good wife >cooking >cleaning 120 KB JPG >housemaking >minimal math for grocery shopping and measurements >child rearing >sex classes (when old enough) >fashion & modesty >animal caretaking >gardening >emotional support >you are a low to middle status man >walk in to wife school >women are graded from E up through A, and then S >grades factored by technical skill, age, attractiveness, personality >graded women are separated by floor, each floor higher in the building a higher grade woman >step out of the elevator on your chosen floor >staff blows a whistle, girls called to assemblyroom >you walk in >topless girls age 16-22 lined up for you to choose >each has a name tag with father's contact information >choose girl according to her grade and your status >contact her father and make arrangements >walk out with well trained, traditional wife Posted in r/IncelTear O reddit

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