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Anon messed up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)21:45:22 No.64132765 > I called my manager "mom" again 43 KB PNG
: Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)21:45:22 No.64132765 > I called my manager "mom" again 43 KB PNG

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Anon looks for a dealer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)02:23:00 No.84805676 >be me but 2 days younger >connoisseur of le weed >don't have a dealer in my circle of friends >because I have no friends lol >need to go to the park >creepy tall dude sells weed that is 253 KB PNG always s--- >"so you got something for me for 30 bucks?" >"if you aren't a cop" Autism.exe >"even if, there would be no way for you to find out anyway" >f------ retard >he pulled out a knife >"I can stab you and if someone with a gun comes out you're a cop" >I f------ ran for my life So how was your weekend?
: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)02:23:00 No.84805676 >be me but 2 days younger >connoisseur of le weed >don't have a dealer in my circle of friends >because I have no friends lol >need to go to the park >creepy tall dude sells weed that is 253 KB PNG always s--- >"so you got something for me for 30 bucks?" >"if you aren't a cop" Autism.exe >"even if, there would be no way for you to find out anyway" >f------ retard >he pulled out a knife >"I can stab you and if someone with a gun comes out you're a cop" >I f------ ran for my life So how was your weekend?

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Anon is rock | /r/Greentext

File: rock.png (49 KB, 1162x1132) O Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)21:17:43 No.64132408 [Reply] ► >>64132440 >be me >be rock >pic rel * O Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)21:20:13 No.64132440 File: 1634534.jpg (8 KB, 270x187) >>64132408 (OP) > Be me > Pick up rock > Throw rock into river > Rock is stuck in river forever
File: rock.png (49 KB, 1162x1132) O Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)21:17:43 No.64132408 [Reply] ► >>64132440 >be me >be rock >pic rel * O Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)21:20:13 No.64132440 File: 1634534.jpg (8 KB, 270x187) >>64132408 (OP) > Be me > Pick up rock > Throw rock into river > Rock is stuck in river forever

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It's over for anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)16:31:47 No.64133514 It's over >Thinking about killing myself for quite some time now >Wake up next day >See news about world ending soon because of some meteor or some s--- >feelsgoodman.jpg 118 KB JPG >All stress suddenly gone >Can finally breath again >Wake up again >lt was a dream >Mfw the end of the world news made me happier than I've ever been in last couple of years I just don't want to exist... Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)16:32:50 No.64133534 thats great and all, but remember to do your homework today okay little buddy?
Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)16:31:47 No.64133514 It's over >Thinking about killing myself for quite some time now >Wake up next day >See news about world ending soon because of some meteor or some s--- >feelsgoodman.jpg 118 KB JPG >All stress suddenly gone >Can finally breath again >Wake up again >lt was a dream >Mfw the end of the world news made me happier than I've ever been in last couple of years I just don't want to exist... Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)16:32:50 No.64133534 thats great and all, but remember to do your homework today okay little buddy?

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Anon goes to the club | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)23:11:00 No.64134075 >go into club alone >white suit, sunglasses and purple shirt >go to dancefloor >push people out of the way to make space 30 KB JPG >put in headphones >play Final Fantasy XV battle OST >start bobbing my knees while doing reload animations >everyone starts looking at me >feel every p---- in a 5 mile radius explode you f--- cant reach my level
: Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)23:11:00 No.64134075 >go into club alone >white suit, sunglasses and purple shirt >go to dancefloor >push people out of the way to make space 30 KB JPG >put in headphones >play Final Fantasy XV battle OST >start bobbing my knees while doing reload animations >everyone starts looking at me >feel every p---- in a 5 mile radius explode you f--- cant reach my level

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Anons dad is based | /r/Greentext

>See's my sister getting ready >'going out?" >"Yeah, the Bae is coming to get me" (she f------ used Bae.) >"Oh i'd love to meet him, have him come in!" >sister brings bf in our house dad pretended he was in the bathroom. >my >he was in fact, slipping into something more comfortable >he walks out with my mom's bathrobe (giant fluffy white collar, about 3 feet to short for him.) >his speedo on. The speedo he never wore because it was way to tight, yet he saved it, just for this moment. >walks out >"OH YOU MUST BE JUSTIN" >reaches out for a handshake >kid grabs his hand >dad yanks him over and bear hugs him >"Ohhhh your hair smells nice, what is that? O'ley?" >kid is horrified >"uhhhh..no...uhhh..c-can we go babe? we might be late" >they leave >my dad just looks over and says "Do you think that was legal? My balls are hanging out." %3D Best dad ever.
>See's my sister getting ready >'going out?" >"Yeah, the Bae is coming to get me" (she f------ used Bae.) >"Oh i'd love to meet him, have him come in!" >sister brings bf in our house dad pretended he was in the bathroom. >my >he was in fact, slipping into something more comfortable >he walks out with my mom's bathrobe (giant fluffy white collar, about 3 feet to short for him.) >his speedo on. The speedo he never wore because it was way to tight, yet he saved it, just for this moment. >walks out >"OH YOU MUST BE JUSTIN" >reaches out for a handshake >kid grabs his hand >dad yanks him over and bear hugs him >"Ohhhh your hair smells nice, what is that? O'ley?" >kid is horrified >"uhhhh..no...uhhh..c-can we go babe? we might be late" >they leave >my dad just looks over and says "Do you think that was legal? My balls are hanging out." %3D Best dad ever.

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Anon continues the cycle | /r/Greentext

File: 4orwe3.jpg (39 KB, 720x706) Anon Beeps Horn Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)16:43:00 No.24208878 ► THE >Be 7 y/o me >Make the "choo choo" motion at passing trucks >They honk big horn for me >Try it with cars. They honk their horns sometimes too. >Makes me happy >FF>> 20+ years >Driving down road >Class of schoolkids on sidewalk >Some of them make the "choo choo" motion at me. >Beep horn three times >Kids cheer Makes me happy ANCIENT RITUAL PERSISTS
File: 4orwe3.jpg (39 KB, 720x706) Anon Beeps Horn Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)16:43:00 No.24208878 ► THE >Be 7 y/o me >Make the "choo choo" motion at passing trucks >They honk big horn for me >Try it with cars. They honk their horns sometimes too. >Makes me happy >FF>> 20+ years >Driving down road >Class of schoolkids on sidewalk >Some of them make the "choo choo" motion at me. >Beep horn three times >Kids cheer Makes me happy ANCIENT RITUAL PERSISTS

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Anon is an alpha | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)16:00:34 No.856757888 BB63D6D0-7COF-45DB-8924-D827EF59137A.png 565 KB PNG >Parents make me visit a therapist because I shat in the shower again >Sit completely still and make direct eye contact the entire time >Answer all of his questions with a question >At the end I shake his hand and look into his eyes >He looks away Is this what being an alpha feels like?
| Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)16:00:34 No.856757888 BB63D6D0-7COF-45DB-8924-D827EF59137A.png 565 KB PNG >Parents make me visit a therapist because I shat in the shower again >Sit completely still and make direct eye contact the entire time >Answer all of his questions with a question >At the end I shake his hand and look into his eyes >He looks away Is this what being an alpha feels like?

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OP gives hope to his brothers | /r/Greentext

>be me >always thought of myself as the loner retarded guy who has no idea how to speak with people >eventually start working and start talking with coworkers and clients at work >find out im actually very good at talking with people and have no problems at all >a lot of my coworkers actually enjoy my 189,4 kB JPG presence >realize its not hard to talk to people >realize you just have to find the right people there's hope anons, maybe you arent all retarded, maybe you just talked to the wrong people!
>be me >always thought of myself as the loner retarded guy who has no idea how to speak with people >eventually start working and start talking with coworkers and clients at work >find out im actually very good at talking with people and have no problems at all >a lot of my coworkers actually enjoy my 189,4 kB JPG presence >realize its not hard to talk to people >realize you just have to find the right people there's hope anons, maybe you arent all retarded, maybe you just talked to the wrong people!

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Anon can't find any ugly girls on the internet. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)21:11:14 No.64106064 >make a Tinder >start scrolling >all of the girls are really pretty and out of my league What the f---? Where are all the plain Janes ans ugly girls at? They're the only ones I might have a chance with and all I see are 67 KB JPG 7/10s and up. 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)21:36:56 No.64106367 >>64106064 (OP) # >all these girls are really pretty no lol are you 12? These girls put up heavily doctored photos of themselves, with their backs arched into a 90 degree angle, heavy faces of makeup, filters, and perfect lighting. Most of them are nearly 100% fake.
: Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)21:11:14 No.64106064 >make a Tinder >start scrolling >all of the girls are really pretty and out of my league What the f---? Where are all the plain Janes ans ugly girls at? They're the only ones I might have a chance with and all I see are 67 KB JPG 7/10s and up. 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)21:36:56 No.64106367 >>64106064 (OP) # >all these girls are really pretty no lol are you 12? These girls put up heavily doctored photos of themselves, with their backs arched into a 90 degree angle, heavy faces of makeup, filters, and perfect lighting. Most of them are nearly 100% fake.

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Anon does manual labor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/04/18(Tue)11:05:08 No.779004157 >be me >manual labour f-- on a cargo ship in the atlantic >we make a detour to check out a shipwreck on an island >inside its cargo hold we find thousands of female dwarves 29 KB JPG >wat >romantic british coworker gets too close >one of them jumps on his face and clamps her p---- on his mouth >okay.png >takes 4 of us and a f------ crowbar to prize her off >get the f--- out of there >back on the ship, set sail again >having lunch with coworkers >british f-- starts to have a seizure >f------ baby bursts out of his chest and runs off >spend 3 hours cleaning up the blood and crumpets >few days later a fully grown dwarf is running around r----- people >it's my shift to go and hunt the r--- dwarf >carry a flamethrower into a ventilation shaft >turn my motion tracker on >it starts beeping I don't get paid enough for this s---
: Anonymous 09/04/18(Tue)11:05:08 No.779004157 >be me >manual labour f-- on a cargo ship in the atlantic >we make a detour to check out a shipwreck on an island >inside its cargo hold we find thousands of female dwarves 29 KB JPG >wat >romantic british coworker gets too close >one of them jumps on his face and clamps her p---- on his mouth >okay.png >takes 4 of us and a f------ crowbar to prize her off >get the f--- out of there >back on the ship, set sail again >having lunch with coworkers >british f-- starts to have a seizure >f------ baby bursts out of his chest and runs off >spend 3 hours cleaning up the blood and crumpets >few days later a fully grown dwarf is running around r----- people >it's my shift to go and hunt the r--- dwarf >carry a flamethrower into a ventilation shaft >turn my motion tracker on >it starts beeping I don't get paid enough for this s---

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anon "plays with his mouth" | /r/Greentext

File: bb9.png (150 KB, 500x441) /b/ Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)16:01:01 No.856744942 [Reply] >be me >about 10 yo >in class >bored, play with my mouth >try to whistle, hum with lips, s--- like that >retard mode on >burst a fat fake fart with my mouth >everyone looks at me >teacher slowly turns around >"who was that?" >teacher looks like through every student >some f------ how knew it was me >had no time to explain i did the sound with my mouth >she threw me out of the class >15 minutes later >mom apparently was called to pick me up >"anon, why the f--- did you s--- your pants?" >trying to explain, mom doesn't get what i mean with "making a fart from mouth" >get home >mom threw me to the bathroom and told me that i can come out after i have finished s------- to the toilet insted of my pants >taking my pants down >look at my pants >there was actually s--- >oh wow
File: bb9.png (150 KB, 500x441) /b/ Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)16:01:01 No.856744942 [Reply] >be me >about 10 yo >in class >bored, play with my mouth >try to whistle, hum with lips, s--- like that >retard mode on >burst a fat fake fart with my mouth >everyone looks at me >teacher slowly turns around >"who was that?" >teacher looks like through every student >some f------ how knew it was me >had no time to explain i did the sound with my mouth >she threw me out of the class >15 minutes later >mom apparently was called to pick me up >"anon, why the f--- did you s--- your pants?" >trying to explain, mom doesn't get what i mean with "making a fart from mouth" >get home >mom threw me to the bathroom and told me that i can come out after i have finished s------- to the toilet insted of my pants >taking my pants down >look at my pants >there was actually s--- >oh wow

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Anon ruins his family | /r/Greentext


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Anon doesn't have a smartphone | /r/Greentext

>be me >college sophomore >autistic af >severe anxiety disorder >don't even have a smartphone due to exactly that and also because I thought me not having a phone would 136 KB PNG be a good convo starter >one day sitting on a bench outside auditorium >some poor freshman girl approaches me >she is like hardly 5 feet tall and with an awkward gait(l assume special needs) Umm hewwoo >She sounds like an anime girl and I can tell it took a lot of courage for her to do that Are you a freshman too? No I'm in 2nd year >I say abruptly avoiding to make eye contact like always >reaches for her phone D-do you have a phone number? S-so uhmm... >start sweating turns out not having a phone isn't a good convo starter after all -NO, I-I don't have a phone -h-huh -like a device... >awkward silence, look up at her >she almost looks like she is about to burst into tears she clearly doesn't believe I don't have a phone >walks away slowly >her friends are waiting for her and I can tell they are trying to console her >it's been 7byears but that incident still keeps me up at night
>be me >college sophomore >autistic af >severe anxiety disorder >don't even have a smartphone due to exactly that and also because I thought me not having a phone would 136 KB PNG be a good convo starter >one day sitting on a bench outside auditorium >some poor freshman girl approaches me >she is like hardly 5 feet tall and with an awkward gait(l assume special needs) Umm hewwoo >She sounds like an anime girl and I can tell it took a lot of courage for her to do that Are you a freshman too? No I'm in 2nd year >I say abruptly avoiding to make eye contact like always >reaches for her phone D-do you have a phone number? S-so uhmm... >start sweating turns out not having a phone isn't a good convo starter after all -NO, I-I don't have a phone -h-huh -like a device... >awkward silence, look up at her >she almost looks like she is about to burst into tears she clearly doesn't believe I don't have a phone >walks away slowly >her friends are waiting for her and I can tell they are trying to console her >it's been 7byears but that incident still keeps me up at night

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Anon brings computer to class | /r/Greentext

1. #62546757 9/21/17, 12:00 >be in class >everyone using gay ass laptops >smirk >pull on my fingerless hacking gloves >put on my anti-glare sunglasses >pull my fedora a little lower >crack my knuckles >actually only two of them can crack >l'm not sure why, I think it's genetic >rearrange the tails of my duster trenchcoat >pull my alienware tower from under the table >it makes a big thump when put it on the tabletop >sorry >turn it on >fans start blowing all those goofy laptop user's gay papers everywhere >plug in my cherry blue keyswitch mechanical >start typing >teacher has to raise voice to be heard >everyone whispering and 'mirin my rig >somehow security finds out I'm not a registered student >get escorted out
1. #62546757 9/21/17, 12:00 >be in class >everyone using gay ass laptops >smirk >pull on my fingerless hacking gloves >put on my anti-glare sunglasses >pull my fedora a little lower >crack my knuckles >actually only two of them can crack >l'm not sure why, I think it's genetic >rearrange the tails of my duster trenchcoat >pull my alienware tower from under the table >it makes a big thump when put it on the tabletop >sorry >turn it on >fans start blowing all those goofy laptop user's gay papers everywhere >plug in my cherry blue keyswitch mechanical >start typing >teacher has to raise voice to be heard >everyone whispering and 'mirin my rig >somehow security finds out I'm not a registered student >get escorted out

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Anon goes to GameStop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Today at Gamestop 04/16/19(Tue)11:06:28 No.458697650 Piease be patient I have autism >Getting checked out by qt3.14 cashier girl >easily an 8/10 >buying Sekiro today >cashier girl asks "Do you want to donate to autism speaks today?" >"Haha no actually i'd prefer they stop speaking all together" 43 KB JPG >Her f------ face >The absolute disgust What the f--- is wrong with me /v/? Why did I have to waste 6 years of my life on this godforsaken site?
: Anonymous Today at Gamestop 04/16/19(Tue)11:06:28 No.458697650 Piease be patient I have autism >Getting checked out by qt3.14 cashier girl >easily an 8/10 >buying Sekiro today >cashier girl asks "Do you want to donate to autism speaks today?" >"Haha no actually i'd prefer they stop speaking all together" 43 KB JPG >Her f------ face >The absolute disgust What the f--- is wrong with me /v/? Why did I have to waste 6 years of my life on this godforsaken site?

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Anon is ugly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)06:06:17 No.64127249 >good mood >see myself in mirror >day ruined 53 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)06:06:17 No.64127249 >good mood >see myself in mirror >day ruined 53 KB JPG

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Anon is a chad | /r/Greentext

File: images jpg (7 KB, 300x168) Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)16:03:58 No.856736425 >waiting at bus stop >me and girl are there >raining heavly >she is getting f----- by the rain >put umbrella under her >"no thanks." >spit on her face and run >> Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)16:06:00 No.856736502 >>856736425 (OP) >the only thing they fear is you
File: images jpg (7 KB, 300x168) Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)16:03:58 No.856736425 >waiting at bus stop >me and girl are there >raining heavly >she is getting f----- by the rain >put umbrella under her >"no thanks." >spit on her face and run >> Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)16:06:00 No.856736502 >>856736425 (OP) >the only thing they fear is you

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Anon just wants to relax | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)09:36:07 No.856740195 >get home from 9-5 job >want a way to unwind >here the lads mention this mysterious realm called 4chan >type in 4chan.org >there's a giant p--- ad at the top of the 40 KB JPG screen >w-- >lightbulb in the brain >go to webstore >get adblocker >go back to 4chan >p--- ad gone >victory >click on /b/ >it's all people posting p--- >log off and cry myself to sleep
: Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)09:36:07 No.856740195 >get home from 9-5 job >want a way to unwind >here the lads mention this mysterious realm called 4chan >type in 4chan.org >there's a giant p--- ad at the top of the 40 KB JPG screen >w-- >lightbulb in the brain >go to webstore >get adblocker >go back to 4chan >p--- ad gone >victory >click on /b/ >it's all people posting p--- >log off and cry myself to sleep

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Anon has a panic attack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)18:44:16 No.48965458 >think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? >have panic attack 150 KB PNG
: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)18:44:16 No.48965458 >think about moving arm >moves arm >just moved matter using nothing but my mind how? >have panic attack 150 KB PNG

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