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Anon is invincible | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)16:36:45 No.857406299 >be 5'6 >got a massive humiliation fetish >go on Tinder, have my height on my profile >send polite messages to beautiful women >j------- to their responses >God tried to nerf me but failed
O Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)16:36:45 No.857406299 >be 5'6 >got a massive humiliation fetish >go on Tinder, have my height on my profile >send polite messages to beautiful women >j------- to their responses >God tried to nerf me but failed

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Anon makes a twitter account | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)14:50:44 No.857404424 >decide to make twitter account for p--- n' s--- >i finished making the account >suddenly feel weird >my mind is filling with pedophilic t-----, anti white people thoughts and 2 KB JPG pure toxicity and hate >i can feel my mind and humanity slipping away in each minute that passes on >my left arm suddenly begins to on its own >my left hand is making a thread on twitter >" p--------- is a sexuality and anyone who says otherwise is a d------ racist racist homophobe-" >i grab my left and slam it on the desk I with my right and the last shred of humanity i have >my left hand wails around in pain >then i feel i sharp pain around my balls >look down to see my left hand clinging at my c--- and balls >it trys to rip them off >mf is trying to turn me into a t----- >with the worst pain of my life i run to the kitchen >take the pan an hit my left hand multiple times >in the crossfire i hit my balls >it hurts like hell but its better than being a t----- >run back to my laptop >search in settings for deactivate account >find it >deactivate my account >the t-----,pedophilic and anti white people thoughts are leaving my mind >and the toxicity and hate is leaving too >my sanity and humanity is slowly but surely returning to me i was one of the lucky ones
: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)14:50:44 No.857404424 >decide to make twitter account for p--- n' s--- >i finished making the account >suddenly feel weird >my mind is filling with pedophilic t-----, anti white people thoughts and 2 KB JPG pure toxicity and hate >i can feel my mind and humanity slipping away in each minute that passes on >my left arm suddenly begins to on its own >my left hand is making a thread on twitter >" p--------- is a sexuality and anyone who says otherwise is a d------ racist racist homophobe-" >i grab my left and slam it on the desk I with my right and the last shred of humanity i have >my left hand wails around in pain >then i feel i sharp pain around my balls >look down to see my left hand clinging at my c--- and balls >it trys to rip them off >mf is trying to turn me into a t----- >with the worst pain of my life i run to the kitchen >take the pan an hit my left hand multiple times >in the crossfire i hit my balls >it hurts like hell but its better than being a t----- >run back to my laptop >search in settings for deactivate account >find it >deactivate my account >the t-----,pedophilic and anti white people thoughts are leaving my mind >and the toxicity and hate is leaving too >my sanity and humanity is slowly but surely returning to me i was one of the lucky ones

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Anon goes on a cruise | /r/Greentext

File: laiva.jpg (55 KB, 552x438) Anonymous E 11/19/15(Thu)19:54:31 No.50979876 • >>50979912 >>50980293 >>50980300 >>50980498 >>50980864 >>50981200 >>50981434 >>50981682 >>50984801 >Be at Swedish ship cruise >haven't defecated in a week week >s--- at least three giant python in the toilet >try to flush >not working.jpg >panic > try to flush again but s--- doesn't flush >look for a cleaner lady in the hallway VIKING LINE >Swedish is really bad so grab the hand of cleaner, and take her to the bathroom >try to flush and say "titta" (watch in english) while push flush button >s--- goes quite normally away to sewer
File: laiva.jpg (55 KB, 552x438) Anonymous E 11/19/15(Thu)19:54:31 No.50979876 • >>50979912 >>50980293 >>50980300 >>50980498 >>50980864 >>50981200 >>50981434 >>50981682 >>50984801 >Be at Swedish ship cruise >haven't defecated in a week week >s--- at least three giant python in the toilet >try to flush >not working.jpg >panic > try to flush again but s--- doesn't flush >look for a cleaner lady in the hallway VIKING LINE >Swedish is really bad so grab the hand of cleaner, and take her to the bathroom >try to flush and say "titta" (watch in english) while push flush button >s--- goes quite normally away to sewer

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Anon is worthy of kinkshaming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)14:59:39 No.855431898 >poo 25 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)15:02:43 No.855432027 >>855431898 (OP) # Crow of judgement 17 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)14:59:39 No.855431898 >poo 25 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)15:02:43 No.855432027 >>855431898 (OP) # Crow of judgement 17 KB JPG

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Another day for you and me in paradise | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)11:29:07 No.64246529 >>64246451 (OP) # >be me 20 >driving to work >driving past school, caught in morning drop off traffic 96 KB JPG >guy in hi-vis jacket walks down the road >gets in front of other guy >pulls out shotgun >decimates dude in front of his kids >runs away >continue driving to work >damn, Tuesday already?
: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)11:29:07 No.64246529 >>64246451 (OP) # >be me 20 >driving to work >driving past school, caught in morning drop off traffic 96 KB JPG >guy in hi-vis jacket walks down the road >gets in front of other guy >pulls out shotgun >decimates dude in front of his kids >runs away >continue driving to work >damn, Tuesday already?

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Anon types | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)01:46:40 No.857390341 [Reply] >be me >practice typing because of quarantine >after a few months average 130wpm >can be a useless member of society at a higher speed >mfw have fun typing less than half my speed losers
Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)01:46:40 No.857390341 [Reply] >be me >practice typing because of quarantine >after a few months average 130wpm >can be a useless member of society at a higher speed >mfw have fun typing less than half my speed losers

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Anon is hot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)04:08:55 No.857370561 >be known for always complaining about it being too hot at work >today remark, "it's hot in here" >qt coworker laughs and says "anon is ALWAYS hot!" 6 KB PNG >look over and reply "hey thanks" with what I hoped was a flirtatious smile >she looks at me with disgust and hardly speaks to me the rest of the shift
: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)04:08:55 No.857370561 >be known for always complaining about it being too hot at work >today remark, "it's hot in here" >qt coworker laughs and says "anon is ALWAYS hot!" 6 KB PNG >look over and reply "hey thanks" with what I hoped was a flirtatious smile >she looks at me with disgust and hardly speaks to me the rest of the shift

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Anon larps 'Murica | /r/Greentext

DAYS SINCE LAST MASS SHOOTING >be American >waddle outside 0 0 0 0 >start clapping >get shot >tip 25% 6 KB JPG
DAYS SINCE LAST MASS SHOOTING >be American >waddle outside 0 0 0 0 >start clapping >get shot >tip 25% 6 KB JPG

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Anon hates brits | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)03:01:00 No.857393824 >wake up >rig 6 car bombs >murder 15 british "people" >firebomb a protestant church >stage a jailbreak >kidnap the children of a unionist politician 169 KB JPG >bury a few corpses >eat breakfast >go to church
: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)03:01:00 No.857393824 >wake up >rig 6 car bombs >murder 15 british "people" >firebomb a protestant church >stage a jailbreak >kidnap the children of a unionist politician 169 KB JPG >bury a few corpses >eat breakfast >go to church

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Anon meets a girl | /r/Greentext

>2008 >be 14 >play wow >meet someone who claims to be girl >didn't really believe but they were really funny so f--- it >played together for like 4 months, then she asked for skype >we started to talk alot >2 months later we agree for a skype cal >it actually was a woman >sperg out, get really nervous >she's nervous too 546.9 kB PNG >after few minutes of stuttering we start joking around >call ended up going for 5 hours >5 months of talking later >she confesses her love for me >i say i love her too >the most happiest moment of my life at the time >lived 3 states away >met twice in 2 years >fast foward 2012 >attend college >tfw the college was in her state >city she lives in was barely an hour away from the capital where college is >i am able to move in with her (she was almost 2 years older) >the next 6 years of my life was perfect and everything i could ever ask for >we play vidya and watch anime al the time, her job isn't too overwhelming but pays well enough, i take various wage cuck jobs just so im not a neet >tfw she is often as horny as i am >2018 >never had any major argument about anything >we decide to marry >didn't want anything too crazy but her dad wanted it to be special >marriage is in the mountains >we get carried away for our wedding night in a wagon carried by a horse because of some tradition >i realize there are 2 other, weird looking people in the wagon >they're f------ tied >confused, look at wife >a blond man sitting where my wife was >"Finally awake!" >mfw Tod Howard did it again
>2008 >be 14 >play wow >meet someone who claims to be girl >didn't really believe but they were really funny so f--- it >played together for like 4 months, then she asked for skype >we started to talk alot >2 months later we agree for a skype cal >it actually was a woman >sperg out, get really nervous >she's nervous too 546.9 kB PNG >after few minutes of stuttering we start joking around >call ended up going for 5 hours >5 months of talking later >she confesses her love for me >i say i love her too >the most happiest moment of my life at the time >lived 3 states away >met twice in 2 years >fast foward 2012 >attend college >tfw the college was in her state >city she lives in was barely an hour away from the capital where college is >i am able to move in with her (she was almost 2 years older) >the next 6 years of my life was perfect and everything i could ever ask for >we play vidya and watch anime al the time, her job isn't too overwhelming but pays well enough, i take various wage cuck jobs just so im not a neet >tfw she is often as horny as i am >2018 >never had any major argument about anything >we decide to marry >didn't want anything too crazy but her dad wanted it to be special >marriage is in the mountains >we get carried away for our wedding night in a wagon carried by a horse because of some tradition >i realize there are 2 other, weird looking people in the wagon >they're f------ tied >confused, look at wife >a blond man sitting where my wife was >"Finally awake!" >mfw Tod Howard did it again

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Anon likes water | /r/Greentext

Anonymous| 797353674 > be me > be me at 2am >i need water > drink water A thanks water O REPLIES O IMAGES
Anonymous| 797353674 > be me > be me at 2am >i need water > drink water A thanks water O REPLIES O IMAGES

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Anon questions himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)21:48:27 No.857373113 > be me > be like 2 minutes ago > walk into bathroom > toilet seat already up > stand in front of toilet > proceed to piss pants does anyone else fear that they 385 KB PNG have autism?
: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)21:48:27 No.857373113 > be me > be like 2 minutes ago > walk into bathroom > toilet seat already up > stand in front of toilet > proceed to piss pants does anyone else fear that they 385 KB PNG have autism?

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Anon didn't sleep | /r/Greentext

>3 days of no sleep >l see a man on the sidewalk screaming in pain while bleeding from his a------ outside my window >supplies are running low fast >the beast is still lurking out there >l have 4 bullets left >I killed 2 of his minions but the bastard chief r--- dwarf is still out there >l can hear it slapping its' c--- on the halllway >I don't know for how much longer l'm gonna hold anons 3m (6/22 0:51) ·64252465 Grimmace c--- 2s (6/22 0:54)· 64252500 Put me in the reddit screencap, but draw a blue square around my post
>3 days of no sleep >l see a man on the sidewalk screaming in pain while bleeding from his a------ outside my window >supplies are running low fast >the beast is still lurking out there >l have 4 bullets left >I killed 2 of his minions but the bastard chief r--- dwarf is still out there >l can hear it slapping its' c--- on the halllway >I don't know for how much longer l'm gonna hold anons 3m (6/22 0:51) ·64252465 Grimmace c--- 2s (6/22 0:54)· 64252500 Put me in the reddit screencap, but draw a blue square around my post

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Anon is not sexually active | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)11:05:14 No.62107793 Tell me anon, are you sexually active? 34 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)11:08:26 No.62107838 >>62107793 (OP) # Does this genuinely happen, no memeing? I wouldn't know what the f--- to say >>62107841 # >>62108028 # >>62108175 # >>62109897 # >>62110507 # >>62112120 # >>62113412 # : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)20:03:01 No.62113412 >>62107838 # >cute nurse asks me this >n-no >"No need to lie anon, you can always trust your physician." >no, I haven't had any sex >"oh... quarantine has been hard on some, don't worry things will get better" >tfw virgin >>62113501 # >>62113618 #
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)11:05:14 No.62107793 Tell me anon, are you sexually active? 34 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)11:08:26 No.62107838 >>62107793 (OP) # Does this genuinely happen, no memeing? I wouldn't know what the f--- to say >>62107841 # >>62108028 # >>62108175 # >>62109897 # >>62110507 # >>62112120 # >>62113412 # : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)20:03:01 No.62113412 >>62107838 # >cute nurse asks me this >n-no >"No need to lie anon, you can always trust your physician." >no, I haven't had any sex >"oh... quarantine has been hard on some, don't worry things will get better" >tfw virgin >>62113501 # >>62113618 #

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Anon finds a name tag | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/10/16(Tue)18:35:23 No.683575381 File: 20131227 184119 original (.).jpg (287 KB, 525x700) >>683575967 >683576686 >>683576892 >>683579462 >>683581102 Hello Address me as Please Use: They, Them, Theirs Не, Please He, Him, His Use: Please Use: She, Her, Hers Ze, Hir, Hirs Xe, Xem, Xyrs Please Use: Please Use: >>683580587 >>683581200 >>683582273 Anonymous 05/10/16(Tue)19:33:18 No.683579462 >>683575381 Ze Zey Zo Zum.. I smell the blood of a cis-male scum
Anonymous 05/10/16(Tue)18:35:23 No.683575381 File: 20131227 184119 original (.).jpg (287 KB, 525x700) >>683575967 >683576686 >>683576892 >>683579462 >>683581102 Hello Address me as Please Use: They, Them, Theirs Не, Please He, Him, His Use: Please Use: She, Her, Hers Ze, Hir, Hirs Xe, Xem, Xyrs Please Use: Please Use: >>683580587 >>683581200 >>683582273 Anonymous 05/10/16(Tue)19:33:18 No.683579462 >>683575381 Ze Zey Zo Zum.. I smell the blood of a cis-male scum

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Anon has a stroke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)16:34:16 No.857363767 >beem mee >eabting 10th big mac in a rowe >left sidwe fells kinbda weird >smeling brunt toast >lfet side is copmletly nubm >cnat mov very well i thgis nromal? 1.06 MB PNG : Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)16:36:33 No.857363919 >>857363767 (OP) # just sleep it off 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)16:36:51 No.857363941 >>857363767 (OP) # Yeah I'm pretty sure, its normal. Drink some tee with honey and you'll be fine. : Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)16:38:10 No.857364024 >>857363767 (OP) # It's perfectly normal for an American. Start pricing out and researching scooters now so you'll be fully educated when you're buying one next month
: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)16:34:16 No.857363767 >beem mee >eabting 10th big mac in a rowe >left sidwe fells kinbda weird >smeling brunt toast >lfet side is copmletly nubm >cnat mov very well i thgis nromal? 1.06 MB PNG : Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)16:36:33 No.857363919 >>857363767 (OP) # just sleep it off 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)16:36:51 No.857363941 >>857363767 (OP) # Yeah I'm pretty sure, its normal. Drink some tee with honey and you'll be fine. : Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)16:38:10 No.857364024 >>857363767 (OP) # It's perfectly normal for an American. Start pricing out and researching scooters now so you'll be fully educated when you're buying one next month

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Anon appreciate's his family | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous best parents 11/08/20(Sun)16:32:34 No.60826016 >be me >poor family >dad works labor job >gets injury >can't work >move back to 2nd world country >dad works as taxi driver to support 4 KB JPG us >getting older, he can't keep working much longer >l decide to move back to US to work >work to support family, myself, and college >only 1 more year left for me to graduate >already making decent money >finally convinced dad to stop working in home country whenever I feel depressed, i just think of how much i love my family and all they've done for me how do you guys feel about your parents?
: Anonymous best parents 11/08/20(Sun)16:32:34 No.60826016 >be me >poor family >dad works labor job >gets injury >can't work >move back to 2nd world country >dad works as taxi driver to support 4 KB JPG us >getting older, he can't keep working much longer >l decide to move back to US to work >work to support family, myself, and college >only 1 more year left for me to graduate >already making decent money >finally convinced dad to stop working in home country whenever I feel depressed, i just think of how much i love my family and all they've done for me how do you guys feel about your parents?

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Anon goes out to lunch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)17:26:26 No.857355588 >be me LOL WUT >going through a MILF phase >set tinder to 45+ >match with a chick in her 50's >blonde, fit, huge t--- >f--- yeah >we set up a lunch date 51 KB JPG >she arrives clearly drunk, orders two margaritas, and downs both before I can finish one beer >whatever, she's probably just nervous >our food arrives and she starts talking about her adult son >says they're estranged and he refuses to talk to her >l stupidly ask why >tells me when he was a kid she used to be "addicted" to smelling his feet >what? >literally, he'd come home from school and she'd lay him down on the couch, take off his shoes and socks, and press his feet into her face for 20 or 30 minutes at a time >she genuinely doesn't understand why he'd think that's weird since there was "nothing sexual" about it >she's gotten really loud and emotional talking about this >people at other tables are starting to stare >l excuse myself to use the restroom >sneak out the back and head to my car I'm still sitting in the parking lot as I type this. What the f--- do I do? Should I go back? She's really f------ hot and she's starting to text me asking where I am | : Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)17:28:52 No.857355733 let her smell your feet and c-- on her t---. post her nude when she passes out for bonus
: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)17:26:26 No.857355588 >be me LOL WUT >going through a MILF phase >set tinder to 45+ >match with a chick in her 50's >blonde, fit, huge t--- >f--- yeah >we set up a lunch date 51 KB JPG >she arrives clearly drunk, orders two margaritas, and downs both before I can finish one beer >whatever, she's probably just nervous >our food arrives and she starts talking about her adult son >says they're estranged and he refuses to talk to her >l stupidly ask why >tells me when he was a kid she used to be "addicted" to smelling his feet >what? >literally, he'd come home from school and she'd lay him down on the couch, take off his shoes and socks, and press his feet into her face for 20 or 30 minutes at a time >she genuinely doesn't understand why he'd think that's weird since there was "nothing sexual" about it >she's gotten really loud and emotional talking about this >people at other tables are starting to stare >l excuse myself to use the restroom >sneak out the back and head to my car I'm still sitting in the parking lot as I type this. What the f--- do I do? Should I go back? She's really f------ hot and she's starting to text me asking where I am | : Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)17:28:52 No.857355733 let her smell your feet and c-- on her t---. post her nude when she passes out for bonus

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Anon has a theory | /r/Greentext

>>560864190 (OP) # Do you think modern transportation is the cause of global warming? >move fast >the world has to render more quickly to keep up with you >overheats
>>560864190 (OP) # Do you think modern transportation is the cause of global warming? >move fast >the world has to render more quickly to keep up with you >overheats

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Anon is now a fitness freak | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)00:11:43 No.62187829 >>62186707 (OP) # >>62186711 # Red roo >Composed of mostly muscle >Claws >Can stand on tail distributing all its weight into powerful kick and legs strong enough to propel them(200lbs) 30ft if 59 KB JPG they are extremely challenged >Fight each other for dominance and females year round Average /Fit/zen >Dyel > weighs less than 180 lbs >composed of primarily fat >Only fight is in middle school that was mostly consisted of wild haymakers and pushing on each other We all know the winner already
: Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)00:11:43 No.62187829 >>62186707 (OP) # >>62186711 # Red roo >Composed of mostly muscle >Claws >Can stand on tail distributing all its weight into powerful kick and legs strong enough to propel them(200lbs) 30ft if 59 KB JPG they are extremely challenged >Fight each other for dominance and females year round Average /Fit/zen >Dyel > weighs less than 180 lbs >composed of primarily fat >Only fight is in middle school that was mostly consisted of wild haymakers and pushing on each other We all know the winner already

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