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Figure it out anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/23/21(Wed)09:47:27 No.64270753 >be me >jerking off >c-- >try tasting my own semen This s--- is disgusting, how come women and f------ enjoy this crap. No wonder they are f------ 610 KB PNG subhuman : Anonymous 06/23/21 (Wed)09:55:01 No.64270835 Doesnt what you eat/drink have something to do with it? >how come women and f------ enjoy this crap You are a f----- now, figure it out 325 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/23/21(Wed)09:47:27 No.64270753 >be me >jerking off >c-- >try tasting my own semen This s--- is disgusting, how come women and f------ enjoy this crap. No wonder they are f------ 610 KB PNG subhuman : Anonymous 06/23/21 (Wed)09:55:01 No.64270835 Doesnt what you eat/drink have something to do with it? >how come women and f------ enjoy this crap You are a f----- now, figure it out 325 KB JPG

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Anon is ugly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)15:16:59 No.857738795 Scientists hail stunning 'Dragon Man' discovery By Pallab Ghosh Science correspondent 01 day ago KAI GENG The Dragon Man's skull is huge, with a brain size about the same as the average for our species 346782557.png 743 KB PNG >Be me >Born thousands of years ago >Really ugly looking dude >So ugly cant even get Neanderthal gf >Die a virgin >thousands of years pass by >some humans dig up my bones >tfw so ugly they designate me as a differrent species View Thread
: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)15:16:59 No.857738795 Scientists hail stunning 'Dragon Man' discovery By Pallab Ghosh Science correspondent 01 day ago KAI GENG The Dragon Man's skull is huge, with a brain size about the same as the average for our species 346782557.png 743 KB PNG >Be me >Born thousands of years ago >Really ugly looking dude >So ugly cant even get Neanderthal gf >Die a virgin >thousands of years pass by >some humans dig up my bones >tfw so ugly they designate me as a differrent species View Thread

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The Dharma Initiative | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)08:27:06 No.62182180 >go to pub >See girl by the bar, go up to her. she has lots of tattoos and cuts on her arms. >Sit next to her and order a beer and 1.57 MB PNG some chips. >Say hello to her. >She says hi back "Sorry I have a boyfriend." >So? >We talk about random stuff, mostly her talking about her stupid daddy issues and drug problems. >She compliments my 'accent'. I had a speech impediment when I was younger and cured it by speaking in funny accents in drama class. >Eat my chips. >Say goodbye >go home. >Piss myself in the bathroom because I can't get my pants off intime Such is life.
: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)08:27:06 No.62182180 >go to pub >See girl by the bar, go up to her. she has lots of tattoos and cuts on her arms. >Sit next to her and order a beer and 1.57 MB PNG some chips. >Say hello to her. >She says hi back "Sorry I have a boyfriend." >So? >We talk about random stuff, mostly her talking about her stupid daddy issues and drug problems. >She compliments my 'accent'. I had a speech impediment when I was younger and cured it by speaking in funny accents in drama class. >Eat my chips. >Say goodbye >go home. >Piss myself in the bathroom because I can't get my pants off intime Such is life.

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Normies on Anon's board | /r/Greentext

>finally get my first gf >he doesn't ask me for much, but I do a lot for her >buy her gifts, do chores around her place, help her out with her work. >the other day she was having a party for a coworker of ours who is leaving >she didn't ask me, but I volunteered to buy all the stuff >literally spent half my day going out and buying all the 1.2 MB WEBM stuff >she paid me for it, but during the party she didn't mention anything about me helping >felt like I didn't get any credit >l did it for her and not to get credit in the first place, but still felt bad >she bought some gifts for the person and she's planning on giving it to them >i asked if I could give her half the money and she could put my name on the card and she said no and I should buy my own. >wouldn't have taken anything away from her, would have saved her some money, and made things a hell of alot easier for me >instead spent a bunch of time going out and got a last second gift. Am I just autistic? I love her and love doing things for her but I don't quite feel appreciated. Sometimes I feel like I love her a lot more than she loves me. She rarely asks me for anything and I voluntarily do all the things. Do i even have a right to be upset? 10 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat) 16:29:12 No.64320417 >>64319760 (OP) # >get gf F------ normies get the f--- off my board 43 KB JPG
>finally get my first gf >he doesn't ask me for much, but I do a lot for her >buy her gifts, do chores around her place, help her out with her work. >the other day she was having a party for a coworker of ours who is leaving >she didn't ask me, but I volunteered to buy all the stuff >literally spent half my day going out and buying all the 1.2 MB WEBM stuff >she paid me for it, but during the party she didn't mention anything about me helping >felt like I didn't get any credit >l did it for her and not to get credit in the first place, but still felt bad >she bought some gifts for the person and she's planning on giving it to them >i asked if I could give her half the money and she could put my name on the card and she said no and I should buy my own. >wouldn't have taken anything away from her, would have saved her some money, and made things a hell of alot easier for me >instead spent a bunch of time going out and got a last second gift. Am I just autistic? I love her and love doing things for her but I don't quite feel appreciated. Sometimes I feel like I love her a lot more than she loves me. She rarely asks me for anything and I voluntarily do all the things. Do i even have a right to be upset? 10 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat) 16:29:12 No.64320417 >>64319760 (OP) # >get gf F------ normies get the f--- off my board 43 KB JPG

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CLASSIC NEETS | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/18(Wed)02:32:36 No.44021061 >wake up refreshed at 11pm >quiet and tranquil >make my night coffee >its sophisticated aroma fills up the neet cave 271 KB PNG >step outside >deep breathe in >deep breathe out >fire up the neetmobile (Toyota Camry 1997) >on the road >barely any cars to be seen >traffic lights turn green as i pass through >arrive at Jack-In-the-Box drive thru >no queue >articulately order my nutritious meal >wageslave gives me extra order of curly fries (i think he messed up) >sip on my large Dr.Pepper as I drive back home >park the car (parallel park it because I have all the time in the world) >my comfy cat welcomes me back >give her a savory treat >I take a bite out of my Classic Buttery Jack burger >write this neetblog >mfw
: Anonymous 03/21/18(Wed)02:32:36 No.44021061 >wake up refreshed at 11pm >quiet and tranquil >make my night coffee >its sophisticated aroma fills up the neet cave 271 KB PNG >step outside >deep breathe in >deep breathe out >fire up the neetmobile (Toyota Camry 1997) >on the road >barely any cars to be seen >traffic lights turn green as i pass through >arrive at Jack-In-the-Box drive thru >no queue >articulately order my nutritious meal >wageslave gives me extra order of curly fries (i think he messed up) >sip on my large Dr.Pepper as I drive back home >park the car (parallel park it because I have all the time in the world) >my comfy cat welcomes me back >give her a savory treat >I take a bite out of my Classic Buttery Jack burger >write this neetblog >mfw

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Anon notices something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 圖 06/25/21 (Fri)20:53:19 No.124021433 Screenshot 2021-06-25 5.50.03 PM.png 841 KB PNG >rewatching justice league cartoon >90% of the time wonder womans ass is taking the up the screen Why were the animators so horny?
: Anonymous 圖 06/25/21 (Fri)20:53:19 No.124021433 Screenshot 2021-06-25 5.50.03 PM.png 841 KB PNG >rewatching justice league cartoon >90% of the time wonder womans ass is taking the up the screen Why were the animators so horny?

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Anon contemplates the intricacies of water | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)16:20:42 No.857732022 >be me >see water dispenser >see red and blue tap >think hot and cold >always wondered why people would want to drink hot water 82 KB JPG >be today >realise that I'm a f------ idiot : Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)16:21:29 No.857732066 I don't get it.
: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)16:20:42 No.857732022 >be me >see water dispenser >see red and blue tap >think hot and cold >always wondered why people would want to drink hot water 82 KB JPG >be today >realise that I'm a f------ idiot : Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)16:21:29 No.857732066 I don't get it.

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Anon is a breathcuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/19(Wed)12:44:43 No.53378529 THE 20 YEAR OLD VACOOMER nothing but hot air in his head responsible for all Co2 emissions oxygen in his cells will slowly kill him - life expectancy is only about 80 years doesn't even know anything about photosynthesis, just f------ vacooms has no self control underdeveloped nostrils due to execive mouthbeathing low test, probably has no gf has never even heard of Inobreath/ fell for the oxide jew always high on oxygen, has never seen the world in its true colors "i-is that... air?.oh no oH NOO0000O IM GONNA BRRREEEAAAAATTTHEEEE" thinks air is free, has to pay with his life DE625D46-552A-4237-984F-2CAABEE79E15.jpg 104 KB JPG >Addicted to oxygen >Never done a nobreath challenge >Can't stay more than 2 minutes without breathing >l'M GONNA IIINHAAAAAALE >Lives surrounded by air, too addicted to go living underwater The absolute state of vacoomers. ISHYGDDT.
: Anonymous 11/27/19(Wed)12:44:43 No.53378529 THE 20 YEAR OLD VACOOMER nothing but hot air in his head responsible for all Co2 emissions oxygen in his cells will slowly kill him - life expectancy is only about 80 years doesn't even know anything about photosynthesis, just f------ vacooms has no self control underdeveloped nostrils due to execive mouthbeathing low test, probably has no gf has never even heard of Inobreath/ fell for the oxide jew always high on oxygen, has never seen the world in its true colors "i-is that... air?.oh no oH NOO0000O IM GONNA BRRREEEAAAAATTTHEEEE" thinks air is free, has to pay with his life DE625D46-552A-4237-984F-2CAABEE79E15.jpg 104 KB JPG >Addicted to oxygen >Never done a nobreath challenge >Can't stay more than 2 minutes without breathing >l'M GONNA IIINHAAAAAALE >Lives surrounded by air, too addicted to go living underwater The absolute state of vacoomers. ISHYGDDT.

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listening for the plot... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)15:30:42 No.64323569 >lost job because of 'rona >had to move back in with my parents >almost every night | hear them rumble and the rumble hard > I know it's weird but I'm happy for 168 KB PNG them >after almost 40 years of marriage there is still love left
Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)15:30:42 No.64323569 >lost job because of 'rona >had to move back in with my parents >almost every night | hear them rumble and the rumble hard > I know it's weird but I'm happy for 168 KB PNG them >after almost 40 years of marriage there is still love left

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Femanon doesn‘t enjoy the playlist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)17:09:38 No.64320819 Game 6 Osama @BonaFried Never look through your old hard drive from high school Desktop Downloads Documents Dicrer *Banging Songs- Notepad File Edit Format View Help Potential sex playlist: Imagine Dragons - Radioactive spoilers it's all fnaf songs Screenshot 2021-06-26 180822.png KB PM pic related >be me >girl >find ok guy >he's pretty shy >after months of dating we finally enter the bedroom >while l'm undressing, he suggests he plays the "sex playlist" >okwhatever.png >it's radioactive >be confused as f--- >hear "I'm waking up" as he c--- in me >next song >it's a fnaf song >the second c------ comes as I hear "Is this were you wanna be?" >say out loud "It's not" >leave >block him
: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)17:09:38 No.64320819 Game 6 Osama @BonaFried Never look through your old hard drive from high school Desktop Downloads Documents Dicrer *Banging Songs- Notepad File Edit Format View Help Potential sex playlist: Imagine Dragons - Radioactive spoilers it's all fnaf songs Screenshot 2021-06-26 180822.png KB PM pic related >be me >girl >find ok guy >he's pretty shy >after months of dating we finally enter the bedroom >while l'm undressing, he suggests he plays the "sex playlist" >okwhatever.png >it's radioactive >be confused as f--- >hear "I'm waking up" as he c--- in me >next song >it's a fnaf song >the second c------ comes as I hear "Is this were you wanna be?" >say out loud "It's not" >leave >block him

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Anon is progressive | /r/Greentext

>be progressive >part of "THE RESISTANCE" backed Presetera BLACKEDO by the mainstream media and government alike >spend the morning commenting on 185 KB JPG videos in the interracial section of pornhub about the superiority of BBC and uploading videos of my wife banging black men and muslims So liberating! Love knows no color! >After that, check CNN and MSNBC for the latest updates of what I should be mad about today >See that Bad Orange Man, Bonald Drumpft, is visiting the border with that racist wh*te man Gov Abbott. >Scramble to Reddit to consult my compatriots and equally free thinkers about what we should do >All this rage is making me hungry >Knock on the bedroom door, but my wife is busy with DayTranquavis and JerMichelob >Decide to order a venti mocha cappuccino frappulatte with extra soy from my favorite coffee shop (I choose my cafes by how many BLM and pride flags are displayed in the windows) >Spend the rest of the day reading novels written by women of color and transgenders, as not to support racist wh*te authors. >8pm, time for the local BLM loot fest- I mean protest >Don my black attire, finished off with a rainbow pin and BLM fist on my hat >Put my copy of the communist manifesto (my bible) in my pocket >film the protest on my iPhone 12 Pro Max to upload to my Twitter account >f--- capitalism >Get home, crash >Being part of the resistance is so tiring >Fall asleep on the ottoman at the foot of the bed, as the bed is reserved for women and black men
>be progressive >part of "THE RESISTANCE" backed Presetera BLACKEDO by the mainstream media and government alike >spend the morning commenting on 185 KB JPG videos in the interracial section of pornhub about the superiority of BBC and uploading videos of my wife banging black men and muslims So liberating! Love knows no color! >After that, check CNN and MSNBC for the latest updates of what I should be mad about today >See that Bad Orange Man, Bonald Drumpft, is visiting the border with that racist wh*te man Gov Abbott. >Scramble to Reddit to consult my compatriots and equally free thinkers about what we should do >All this rage is making me hungry >Knock on the bedroom door, but my wife is busy with DayTranquavis and JerMichelob >Decide to order a venti mocha cappuccino frappulatte with extra soy from my favorite coffee shop (I choose my cafes by how many BLM and pride flags are displayed in the windows) >Spend the rest of the day reading novels written by women of color and transgenders, as not to support racist wh*te authors. >8pm, time for the local BLM loot fest- I mean protest >Don my black attire, finished off with a rainbow pin and BLM fist on my hat >Put my copy of the communist manifesto (my bible) in my pocket >film the protest on my iPhone 12 Pro Max to upload to my Twitter account >f--- capitalism >Get home, crash >Being part of the resistance is so tiring >Fall asleep on the ottoman at the foot of the bed, as the bed is reserved for women and black men

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Regeneration by degeneration | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)21:22:32 No.64322816 >>64312462 (OP) # Secret to nofap >be me >curious about the supposed power of the prostate orgasm >full body shave >equip maid outfit >finger myself for a couple hours until I c-- >its alright, nothing to write home about >feel... complete >no more lusty feelings >urge to fap completely gone >maybe this will fade away? >several days pass >no urge to fap I win, I f----- myself into nofap
: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)21:22:32 No.64322816 >>64312462 (OP) # Secret to nofap >be me >curious about the supposed power of the prostate orgasm >full body shave >equip maid outfit >finger myself for a couple hours until I c-- >its alright, nothing to write home about >feel... complete >no more lusty feelings >urge to fap completely gone >maybe this will fade away? >several days pass >no urge to fap I win, I f----- myself into nofap

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Anon meets a femboy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)10:44:26 No.857714496 >be me >gay >really into femboys >go on a discord server I have a couple friends on >meet a guy who knows one of my 24 KB JPG friends >frequently talks in the nsfw channel about how horny he is constantly >go in vc >turns out he's a femboy >ohshithesreallycute.jpg >about a week later >talking with him in nsfw again >says he'd be interested in "group masterbation" >dms me and asks if I'm interested >I say yea >he sends me a bunch of nudes >later we get on call together >turns out I was the only one who accepted his offer >have e-sex >literally just met him a week ago >mfw I met an actual femboy twink and had e-sex with him >pic unrelated
: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)10:44:26 No.857714496 >be me >gay >really into femboys >go on a discord server I have a couple friends on >meet a guy who knows one of my 24 KB JPG friends >frequently talks in the nsfw channel about how horny he is constantly >go in vc >turns out he's a femboy >ohshithesreallycute.jpg >about a week later >talking with him in nsfw again >says he'd be interested in "group masterbation" >dms me and asks if I'm interested >I say yea >he sends me a bunch of nudes >later we get on call together >turns out I was the only one who accepted his offer >have e-sex >literally just met him a week ago >mfw I met an actual femboy twink and had e-sex with him >pic unrelated

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Anon gets some mosquito bites | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 754643708 3 min. ago >be me 17 >at friends house >his mom is a 10/10 >sister 9/10 >sneak into the laundry room while everyone is sleeping >start sniffing his moms panties while jerking off >about to climax and suddenly hear noise near the laundry room door >friend's sister walks in and i look at 234.8 kB JPG her in the eyes while i c-- all over her moms panties >she screams at the top of her lungs >l clean myself up with the panties and run out the door before everyone comes downstairs >sleep in the woods until my dad picked me up in the morning >48 missed calls and 72 mosquito bites
Anonymous | 754643708 3 min. ago >be me 17 >at friends house >his mom is a 10/10 >sister 9/10 >sneak into the laundry room while everyone is sleeping >start sniffing his moms panties while jerking off >about to climax and suddenly hear noise near the laundry room door >friend's sister walks in and i look at 234.8 kB JPG her in the eyes while i c-- all over her moms panties >she screams at the top of her lungs >l clean myself up with the panties and run out the door before everyone comes downstairs >sleep in the woods until my dad picked me up in the morning >48 missed calls and 72 mosquito bites

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Anon visits a dentist | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)16:54:30 No.64320673 >>64320685 >be me >finally get girlfriend >gfs name is jane >have wisdom teeth removed >happy gas >say "I love you Carol." >come to and she's gone, wont respond to texts >finally texts me in all caps "WHO TE IS CAROL" >Carol was the attractive b----- lunchlady from HS >spaghetti, tell her she was my ex-gf to sound cool instead of lame >she dumps me It seems im too autistic to keep a gf
O Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)16:54:30 No.64320673 >>64320685 >be me >finally get girlfriend >gfs name is jane >have wisdom teeth removed >happy gas >say "I love you Carol." >come to and she's gone, wont respond to texts >finally texts me in all caps "WHO TE IS CAROL" >Carol was the attractive b----- lunchlady from HS >spaghetti, tell her she was my ex-gf to sound cool instead of lame >she dumps me It seems im too autistic to keep a gf

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Anon gets dissed by a 9 years old | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)17:57:03 No.643212: >finally get a gf >go to meet her parents >walk in the door with her, her little sister is there (9) >starts laughing and says "who is that" >girlfriend says it's her boyfriend >replies with "oh nooooooo im sorry" and 185 KB PNG runs off Why are kids so f------ brutal?
: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)17:57:03 No.643212: >finally get a gf >go to meet her parents >walk in the door with her, her little sister is there (9) >starts laughing and says "who is that" >girlfriend says it's her boyfriend >replies with "oh nooooooo im sorry" and 185 KB PNG runs off Why are kids so f------ brutal?

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Anon is being haunted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)23:38:01 No.63989243 >today I was told by my mom go to deposit a check >have it folded in half with the deposit slip, like this << >l am walking down the driveway to the car and hear a female voice 328 KB JPG whisper (you dropped the check retard) look behind me and the check is on the ground and nobody was there >Assume it was my sister but she was in the car waiting on me and my mom was still in the house, they are the only women at our house Is it a ghost? And more importantly ghosts can detect I am a retard
: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)23:38:01 No.63989243 >today I was told by my mom go to deposit a check >have it folded in half with the deposit slip, like this << >l am walking down the driveway to the car and hear a female voice 328 KB JPG whisper (you dropped the check retard) look behind me and the check is on the ground and nobody was there >Assume it was my sister but she was in the car waiting on me and my mom was still in the house, they are the only women at our house Is it a ghost? And more importantly ghosts can detect I am a retard

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Anon has a nice comfy air conditioner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous L- 06/23/21(Wed)06:15:01 No.147266310 Imagine not owning an air conditioner, particularly heat pump one. >winter >have 23C indoors with push of a button 153 KB JPG >while everyone else f---- around with kerosene, wood, or gas, or pay fuckton of money for electricity as aircon is 3,5 timer more efficient as resistive heater >summer >not that it gets hot, but when it gets hot I have 23C indoors >everyone else doesn't Best $350 l've ever spent. : Anonymous L06/23/21(Wed)06:15:23 No.147266317 What is you excuse for not having one, europoors?
: Anonymous L- 06/23/21(Wed)06:15:01 No.147266310 Imagine not owning an air conditioner, particularly heat pump one. >winter >have 23C indoors with push of a button 153 KB JPG >while everyone else f---- around with kerosene, wood, or gas, or pay fuckton of money for electricity as aircon is 3,5 timer more efficient as resistive heater >summer >not that it gets hot, but when it gets hot I have 23C indoors >everyone else doesn't Best $350 l've ever spent. : Anonymous L06/23/21(Wed)06:15:23 No.147266317 What is you excuse for not having one, europoors?

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This one hurts me bad | /r/Greentext

Duv9i6eW4AAQCuq.jpg 105 KB JPG >tfw red dead redemption 2 made me realize that there's no hiding from civilization since it's everywhere >tfw can't even really homestead today bc of stupid laws >can't even properly explore anything anymore because there isn't anything still left to explore All I ever wanted was to be free
Duv9i6eW4AAQCuq.jpg 105 KB JPG >tfw red dead redemption 2 made me realize that there's no hiding from civilization since it's everywhere >tfw can't even really homestead today bc of stupid laws >can't even properly explore anything anymore because there isn't anything still left to explore All I ever wanted was to be free

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Anon is a sniffer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)15:09:14 No.64318755 >sniff man >musk of Gods >instant feeling of safety and protection >sniff woman 30 KB JPG >artificial chemical fragrances and rotting marine carcass >instant feeling of anxiety
: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)15:09:14 No.64318755 >sniff man >musk of Gods >instant feeling of safety and protection >sniff woman 30 KB JPG >artificial chemical fragrances and rotting marine carcass >instant feeling of anxiety

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