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Churchill Downs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/31/20(Thu)19:37:09 No.59126160 >wife has our 2nd kid >belly starts looking like this >accidentally refer to her tummy as 'Winston Churchill' when I am kissing it >only way to make her think its not 285 KB JPG cos it looks like an old wrinkled man is to tell her I find him sexually attractive >she has been dressing as him for 2 months now to have sex with me >am starting to actually find him hot >>59126193 # >>59126202 # >>59126837 # >>59127439 # >>59128547 # >>59128577 # >>59129694 # >>59138374 # >>59142250 #
: Anonymous 12/31/20(Thu)19:37:09 No.59126160 >wife has our 2nd kid >belly starts looking like this >accidentally refer to her tummy as 'Winston Churchill' when I am kissing it >only way to make her think its not 285 KB JPG cos it looks like an old wrinkled man is to tell her I find him sexually attractive >she has been dressing as him for 2 months now to have sex with me >am starting to actually find him hot >>59126193 # >>59126202 # >>59126837 # >>59127439 # >>59128547 # >>59128577 # >>59129694 # >>59138374 # >>59142250 #

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Anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)09:21:18 No.16328452 I am so f------ hungry bros 26 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)09:25:47 No.16328470 >l'm hungry >better make a s--- thread instead of eating something >>16328512 # : Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)09:34:33 No.16328512 >>16328470 # thanks for your help, I guess l'll just eat this cat poop >>16328541 # >>16328543 # >>16328889 #
: Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)09:21:18 No.16328452 I am so f------ hungry bros 26 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)09:25:47 No.16328470 >l'm hungry >better make a s--- thread instead of eating something >>16328512 # : Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)09:34:33 No.16328512 >>16328470 # thanks for your help, I guess l'll just eat this cat poop >>16328541 # >>16328543 # >>16328889 #

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)22:12:21 No.64326965 >girl matches with me on tinder >message her >she never replies ????????? ?????????????? 88 KB PNG
: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)22:12:21 No.64326965 >girl matches with me on tinder >message her >she never replies ????????? ?????????????? 88 KB PNG

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Anon wants a boyfriend | /r/Greentext

File: A5F96750-49D0-40C7-817C-3(..).png (73 KB, 372x374) O Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)22:45:22 No.64324383 >>64324400 >>6432441 >have a crush on r9k guy >talk for a few months >things go nice but I push him away because autism >still like him >try and talk to him again >now he has a gf Every time Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)22:46:30 No.64324400 >>64324499 >>64324383 (OP) >Has a So just one of the lurking chads huh?
File: A5F96750-49D0-40C7-817C-3(..).png (73 KB, 372x374) O Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)22:45:22 No.64324383 >>64324400 >>6432441 >have a crush on r9k guy >talk for a few months >things go nice but I push him away because autism >still like him >try and talk to him again >now he has a gf Every time Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)22:46:30 No.64324400 >>64324499 >>64324383 (OP) >Has a So just one of the lurking chads huh?

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Anon plays with his friends | /r/Greentext


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Anon has shitty memory | /r/Greentext

File: 0761 - 1HK6KUP.jpg (7 KB, 228x221) Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)21:55:03 No.857743286 >be me >have funny idea for greentext story >im not at home >"ok anon u gotta remember this one" >get home >open 4chan >f--- >> Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)21:56:19 No.857743360 Proves that it wasn't that great in the first place.
File: 0761 - 1HK6KUP.jpg (7 KB, 228x221) Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)21:55:03 No.857743286 >be me >have funny idea for greentext story >im not at home >"ok anon u gotta remember this one" >get home >open 4chan >f--- >> Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)21:56:19 No.857743360 Proves that it wasn't that great in the first place.

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Anon works at McDonald‘s | /r/Greentext

HAPPY >working at McDonald's Anonymous | 753841064 45 min. geleden story time CHICHEN >working at McDonald's >*autistic kid appears* >screams all the time : CHICKEN AN EXCELLENT apy me MCNUGGETS >wants a happy meal with nuggets >gave him 5 instead of 4 cuz of my kindness 300,3 kB JPG >he noticed >*autistic screeching* >wanted a new one with only 4 nuggets i hate children. 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY
HAPPY >working at McDonald's Anonymous | 753841064 45 min. geleden story time CHICHEN >working at McDonald's >*autistic kid appears* >screams all the time : CHICKEN AN EXCELLENT apy me MCNUGGETS >wants a happy meal with nuggets >gave him 5 instead of 4 cuz of my kindness 300,3 kB JPG >he noticed >*autistic screeching* >wanted a new one with only 4 nuggets i hate children. 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon wakes up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/27/21(Sun)07:04:00 No.857771882 >wake up >check internet >ukraine still exists >day ruined 5 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/27/21(Sun)07:05:26 No.857771934 >>857771882(OP) # >wake up >beat my meat >check the news >America still has n------ >day ruined
: Anonymous 06/27/21(Sun)07:04:00 No.857771882 >wake up >check internet >ukraine still exists >day ruined 5 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 06/27/21(Sun)07:05:26 No.857771934 >>857771882(OP) # >wake up >beat my meat >check the news >America still has n------ >day ruined

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Anon has a heart attack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Heart pains 05/22/21(Sat)13:25:00 No.63782206 >go to bed >you have a gripping pain in your chest >it spreads to the left side of your neck >can't sleep ia ukko 17 KB JPG Guys am I gonna have a frickin heart attack? I made a thread about this yesterday and a medanon told me it's all good if it's not in my neck. Well it is. I don't even drink or smoke REE : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)15:07:38 No.63783066 >might have a heart attack >better post on 4chan I hope it kills you
: Anonymous Heart pains 05/22/21(Sat)13:25:00 No.63782206 >go to bed >you have a gripping pain in your chest >it spreads to the left side of your neck >can't sleep ia ukko 17 KB JPG Guys am I gonna have a frickin heart attack? I made a thread about this yesterday and a medanon told me it's all good if it's not in my neck. Well it is. I don't even drink or smoke REE : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)15:07:38 No.63783066 >might have a heart attack >better post on 4chan I hope it kills you

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Anon is fucking retarded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/27/21(Sun)08:13:09 No.857772180 >Elementary school, mid 90's >Autist beyond all comprehension >Had one friend, my best friend, who was my neighbor at the time >we did everything together outside of school and were genuinely very close 25 KB JPG >but he was a chad, and super popular at school, one year behind me. I think I was in 4th grade >one day at recess I see him in a group talking to some | of the popular girls "I must be a part of this gathering" I think to myself >build up all my autistic energy, and start naruto sprinting over to them, before naruto even existed REEEEEEEEAAAAARRREEGGGG!!! >l yell, literally crashing into the tightly grouped up kids "CHASIN GIRLS, eh??" I roared >crickets >everyone just stared blankly at me >my friend, who was embarrassed to the point of almost dying, sighed and said: "Hey we'll hang out later, ok?" >me, my autism not allowing me to sense the uncomfortableness, ninja sprints away before tripping on a lunch bag, skinning my knee, and crying like a punk bitch I sill wince when I think about this, almost 25 years ago
: Anonymous 06/27/21(Sun)08:13:09 No.857772180 >Elementary school, mid 90's >Autist beyond all comprehension >Had one friend, my best friend, who was my neighbor at the time >we did everything together outside of school and were genuinely very close 25 KB JPG >but he was a chad, and super popular at school, one year behind me. I think I was in 4th grade >one day at recess I see him in a group talking to some | of the popular girls "I must be a part of this gathering" I think to myself >build up all my autistic energy, and start naruto sprinting over to them, before naruto even existed REEEEEEEEAAAAARRREEGGGG!!! >l yell, literally crashing into the tightly grouped up kids "CHASIN GIRLS, eh??" I roared >crickets >everyone just stared blankly at me >my friend, who was embarrassed to the point of almost dying, sighed and said: "Hey we'll hang out later, ok?" >me, my autism not allowing me to sense the uncomfortableness, ninja sprints away before tripping on a lunch bag, skinning my knee, and crying like a punk bitch I sill wince when I think about this, almost 25 years ago

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Anon makes an observation | /r/Greentext

: ANAHUACAN SUPREMACIST [-] Christianity is communism 06/26/21(Sat)11:34:23 No.13028786 >Everyone is equal (Galatians 3:28) >Rich man bad (Matthew 19:23- 30) >Private property also bad (Matthew 19:21) 16 KB PNG
: ANAHUACAN SUPREMACIST [-] Christianity is communism 06/26/21(Sat)11:34:23 No.13028786 >Everyone is equal (Galatians 3:28) >Rich man bad (Matthew 19:23- 30) >Private property also bad (Matthew 19:21) 16 KB PNG

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Anon hates autocorrect | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:19:40 No.850710433 >messaging girl for a while now >she finally sends me nudes >"what do you think of me, anon?" >type pog, it autocorrects to pig. >press send before I realise me mistake 5 KB JPG >she blocks me before I can explain Why must fate hurt me this way? : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:20:38 No.850710478 : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:21:12 No.850710505 >pog military grade cringe, die alone.
: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:19:40 No.850710433 >messaging girl for a while now >she finally sends me nudes >"what do you think of me, anon?" >type pog, it autocorrects to pig. >press send before I realise me mistake 5 KB JPG >she blocks me before I can explain Why must fate hurt me this way? : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:20:38 No.850710478 : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:21:12 No.850710505 >pog military grade cringe, die alone.

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Anon isa degenerate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/27/21(Sun)12:01:41 No.857769814 >girlfriend has roommate >steal her panties off drying rack once >pic related >take it home, use it as a c-- rag >cleaned my j--- with these panties at least 3 times a day 323 KB JPG >almost had to tie it to a radiator because it was able to walk away on its own >absolutely crusted like a wooden board >let it soak in warm water for an hour to 'clean it' >threw it next to girlfriend and roommates washing machine so it would look like it just got lost >week later it's gone >roommate might be wearing these c---infested barely cleaned panties to class What's the most depraved thing you've ever done? 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 06/27/21(Sun)12:01:41 No.857769814 >girlfriend has roommate >steal her panties off drying rack once >pic related >take it home, use it as a c-- rag >cleaned my j--- with these panties at least 3 times a day 323 KB JPG >almost had to tie it to a radiator because it was able to walk away on its own >absolutely crusted like a wooden board >let it soak in warm water for an hour to 'clean it' >threw it next to girlfriend and roommates washing machine so it would look like it just got lost >week later it's gone >roommate might be wearing these c---infested barely cleaned panties to class What's the most depraved thing you've ever done? 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon has to deal with retarded customers | /r/Greentext

Board /b/ - Random Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)16:54:40 No.857714899 Been working at a grocery store for a while now and holy f--- are these people NPC's. Every m------------ says the same thing. 155 KB JPG >be standing in front of check stand >"Are ya open?" >"Looking for work?" >"Don't look so bored!" H--------, not only that but everyone is such a penny pinching f---. Ready to screech if they don't get their 50 cents off an item. The best part is the screen doesn't show discounts until I've rang everything up and hit "total" >"Wait that costs this!" >"This is four for $12" >"it says there's a digital coupon!" >"No I don't have the app and I don't want it!" >"Do you have the coupon? it's in the paper" >"Someone else did this for me" Also my personal favorite >"Do you have a card or something you can scan so I can get all the deals" Like holy f--- are you serious? You think we just keep a card that unlocks all the deals for you in the register? You don't need anything special for the deals unless it's a coupon. And they make damn sure to tell you what every deal is as soon as you reach for the item, like you haven't already heard it 400 times. Share your grocery store stories anons I know you f---- got em. 227 Replies / 22 Images View Thread
Board /b/ - Random Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)16:54:40 No.857714899 Been working at a grocery store for a while now and holy f--- are these people NPC's. Every m------------ says the same thing. 155 KB JPG >be standing in front of check stand >"Are ya open?" >"Looking for work?" >"Don't look so bored!" H--------, not only that but everyone is such a penny pinching f---. Ready to screech if they don't get their 50 cents off an item. The best part is the screen doesn't show discounts until I've rang everything up and hit "total" >"Wait that costs this!" >"This is four for $12" >"it says there's a digital coupon!" >"No I don't have the app and I don't want it!" >"Do you have the coupon? it's in the paper" >"Someone else did this for me" Also my personal favorite >"Do you have a card or something you can scan so I can get all the deals" Like holy f--- are you serious? You think we just keep a card that unlocks all the deals for you in the register? You don't need anything special for the deals unless it's a coupon. And they make damn sure to tell you what every deal is as soon as you reach for the item, like you haven't already heard it 400 times. Share your grocery store stories anons I know you f---- got em. 227 Replies / 22 Images View Thread

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Anon goes to Walmart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)21:18:54 No.856854637 >be me >in Walmart >head to the bathroom cause I need to piss like a m----------- >walk in >hear someone groaning quietly in one of the stalls 199 KB JPG >weird but f--- it >pissing hard >hear a loud gasp followed by splashing water in the stall >they start sobbing now >w-- >finish pissing >woman runs outside the stall crying >left behind a small trail of blood >no idea what the f--- just happened >morbid curiosity forces me to check inside the stall >there's even more blood >look inside the toilet >see a dead fetus looking out from the water >get the f--- out of that walmart >never going back there
: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)21:18:54 No.856854637 >be me >in Walmart >head to the bathroom cause I need to piss like a m----------- >walk in >hear someone groaning quietly in one of the stalls 199 KB JPG >weird but f--- it >pissing hard >hear a loud gasp followed by splashing water in the stall >they start sobbing now >w-- >finish pissing >woman runs outside the stall crying >left behind a small trail of blood >no idea what the f--- just happened >morbid curiosity forces me to check inside the stall >there's even more blood >look inside the toilet >see a dead fetus looking out from the water >get the f--- out of that walmart >never going back there

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Anon hates hamburgerican... and me | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/27/21(Sun)10:44:57 No.857750360 AMB CHIN kek.jpg 100 KB JPG >be hamburgerican >post to 4chan criticizing Europeans to mostly not having AC at their homes >"haha kys f------ europoors" >go outside >your neighbor is f------ your wife in the front yard >some n---- shoots you out of his car and drives away >someone calls an ambulance >get charged 50k for a 2km ride in the weeyoo wagon >get your wound mutilated and the bullet, at last, pulled out of your body >"alright sir, truthfully this operation only lasted 30 minutes and required only me, but here's your bill" >a witness to the operation - 5k >time spent by the doctor to change clothes - 2k >operation itself - 200k >anesthesia - 30k >additional fees and tax - 23.3k >"haha, I won't be able to pay it off during my lifetime but at least I have AC at my house, f------ europoors" It will sure be stolen by some redditfag, f--- you too
: Anonymous 06/27/21(Sun)10:44:57 No.857750360 AMB CHIN kek.jpg 100 KB JPG >be hamburgerican >post to 4chan criticizing Europeans to mostly not having AC at their homes >"haha kys f------ europoors" >go outside >your neighbor is f------ your wife in the front yard >some n---- shoots you out of his car and drives away >someone calls an ambulance >get charged 50k for a 2km ride in the weeyoo wagon >get your wound mutilated and the bullet, at last, pulled out of your body >"alright sir, truthfully this operation only lasted 30 minutes and required only me, but here's your bill" >a witness to the operation - 5k >time spent by the doctor to change clothes - 2k >operation itself - 200k >anesthesia - 30k >additional fees and tax - 23.3k >"haha, I won't be able to pay it off during my lifetime but at least I have AC at my house, f------ europoors" It will sure be stolen by some redditfag, f--- you too

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Anon tricks google | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/27/21(Sun)09:10:41 No.64329062 >be me >solving captcha >tells me to select all squares containing buses >picture only has trucks in it >select trucks 354 KB PNG >it accepts my answer >mfw google's self driving cars now think that buses are trucks What are you doing to wage war against mass surveillance?
: Anonymous 06/27/21(Sun)09:10:41 No.64329062 >be me >solving captcha >tells me to select all squares containing buses >picture only has trucks in it >select trucks 354 KB PNG >it accepts my answer >mfw google's self driving cars now think that buses are trucks What are you doing to wage war against mass surveillance?

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Anon watches an anime movie | /r/Greentext

>Watch an anime movie >Opening is a series of slow, lingering shots of huge vistas >No music >Just background ambience >50% chance it's cicadas EVERY TIME.
>Watch an anime movie >Opening is a series of slow, lingering shots of huge vistas >No music >Just background ambience >50% chance it's cicadas EVERY TIME.

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Anon visit balkans | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/05/19(Tue)12:04:17 No.55203020 >be me >migrate from canada to some ex yugoslavia country cause my dad was from there >think that i'll be chad from abroad and sufocate in p--- 71 KB JPG no >balkan state of mind is natural trolling in its purest forn >be balkan trolled for decsdes >develope anxiety and depression >they have thick skin and dont react to trolling >start to become balkan chad go back to gay snowflake canada and drown in p--- thank you balkan
Anonymous 11/05/19(Tue)12:04:17 No.55203020 >be me >migrate from canada to some ex yugoslavia country cause my dad was from there >think that i'll be chad from abroad and sufocate in p--- 71 KB JPG no >balkan state of mind is natural trolling in its purest forn >be balkan trolled for decsdes >develope anxiety and depression >they have thick skin and dont react to trolling >start to become balkan chad go back to gay snowflake canada and drown in p--- thank you balkan

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anon is a husk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)21:36:51 No.64313413 >jerked off for the 5th time today >couldn't even get hard past 4th, completely soft >hardcore japanese t----- p--- I feel like a f------ zombie. Why do i keep doing this? 265 KB JPG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 06/25/21(Fri)21:36:51 No.64313413 >jerked off for the 5th time today >couldn't even get hard past 4th, completely soft >hardcore japanese t----- p--- I feel like a f------ zombie. Why do i keep doing this? 265 KB JPG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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