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Anon cucks all the tracies with his autism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:18:03 No.858036649 >20 years old >virgin if you don't include prostitutes >regularly got approached by girls at bars and clubs and even on the street sometimes who start the conversation saying how good looking I am >Friend says whenever he posts a pic of me on his Instagram there's multiple girls 21 KB JPG and f------ asking about me >too autistic to do anything >COVID happens >now i'm due to start college in September How do I not f--- up? How over is it for me already as a 20 year old? Am I passed the point of no return? Will I be a bitter old man at 30?
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:18:03 No.858036649 >20 years old >virgin if you don't include prostitutes >regularly got approached by girls at bars and clubs and even on the street sometimes who start the conversation saying how good looking I am >Friend says whenever he posts a pic of me on his Instagram there's multiple girls 21 KB JPG and f------ asking about me >too autistic to do anything >COVID happens >now i'm due to start college in September How do I not f--- up? How over is it for me already as a 20 year old? Am I passed the point of no return? Will I be a bitter old man at 30?

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Anon is a flat-earther | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:41:24 No.858068662 What finally convinced you that the Earth is flat? NAP UF THE FLAT E 349 KB PNG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:51:42 No.858069207 : Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:54:24 No.858069359 : Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:54:36 No.858069366 >>858068662 (OP)# For me, it was when I got into a really bad car crash and suffered really bad dain bramage.
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:41:24 No.858068662 What finally convinced you that the Earth is flat? NAP UF THE FLAT E 349 KB PNG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:51:42 No.858069207 : Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:54:24 No.858069359 : Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)02:54:36 No.858069366 >>858068662 (OP)# For me, it was when I got into a really bad car crash and suffered really bad dain bramage.

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Anon plays CoD | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)09:09:54 No.6438688E >>64386505 (OP) # >Play, on 360 >With friend >late-night cod >His headset goes, so he has to use kinect and has to use TV-volume >"S---! Don't talk; My TV is loud" >Realise I have mere milliseconds, before he sorts it out. >ohyes.png >"F--- N------ F--- N------ F--- N------" >Put mic in mouth, and start making thunder-screams >Hear thudding, from friends' mic >Door slams open >"TURN THAT F------ S--- OFF NOW" >Hear arguing >silence >Anon has left the party >Tearsoflaughter.jpeg >Mom barges into my room >Same thing happens. >Couldn't sleep, due to laughter
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)09:09:54 No.6438688E >>64386505 (OP) # >Play, on 360 >With friend >late-night cod >His headset goes, so he has to use kinect and has to use TV-volume >"S---! Don't talk; My TV is loud" >Realise I have mere milliseconds, before he sorts it out. >ohyes.png >"F--- N------ F--- N------ F--- N------" >Put mic in mouth, and start making thunder-screams >Hear thudding, from friends' mic >Door slams open >"TURN THAT F------ S--- OFF NOW" >Hear arguing >silence >Anon has left the party >Tearsoflaughter.jpeg >Mom barges into my room >Same thing happens. >Couldn't sleep, due to laughter

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Anons gf has a penis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:38:49 No.858065060 f--- f--- f--- >be me earlier this week >me and gf take each other's virginity >it's great >I wouldn't trade this 265 KB PNG moment for anything >go home >start to notice I feel kinda sick >think ok whatever, probably just worn out >next day >very nauseous, have to piss a ton, have an extra bloody s---, tired as all hell >google it >pregnancy symptoms >doesn't go away Holy f--- /b/ did my gf get me pregnant? Does the baby come out the ass or the d--- hole? I swear her penis isn't even as big as mine! E Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:41:03 No.858065190 >>858065060 (OP) # *snap* this ones going to r/greentext 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:41:24 No.858065204 151 KB PNG : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:43:13 No.858065326 Get me in the pic you f------ d--- birthers
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:38:49 No.858065060 f--- f--- f--- >be me earlier this week >me and gf take each other's virginity >it's great >I wouldn't trade this 265 KB PNG moment for anything >go home >start to notice I feel kinda sick >think ok whatever, probably just worn out >next day >very nauseous, have to piss a ton, have an extra bloody s---, tired as all hell >google it >pregnancy symptoms >doesn't go away Holy f--- /b/ did my gf get me pregnant? Does the baby come out the ass or the d--- hole? I swear her penis isn't even as big as mine! E Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:41:03 No.858065190 >>858065060 (OP) # *snap* this ones going to r/greentext 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:41:24 No.858065204 151 KB PNG : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)20:43:13 No.858065326 Get me in the pic you f------ d--- birthers

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Anon needs help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:19:17 No.858056299 For 20 years, not a single girl has paid attention to me.My attempts at dating ended in failure. I didn't kiss the girl and I didn't have sex. It's a shame that youth passes while all my friends change their girlfriend and 30 KB JPG even choose which one to f--- What could be the reason? 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:20:49 No.858056404 You're a f----- : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:20:56 No.858056411 you're an anthropomorphic frog. : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:23:57 No.858056605 >Bad luck >You're ugly af >You're annoying af >All of the above Most of the time it's just bad luck.
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:19:17 No.858056299 For 20 years, not a single girl has paid attention to me.My attempts at dating ended in failure. I didn't kiss the girl and I didn't have sex. It's a shame that youth passes while all my friends change their girlfriend and 30 KB JPG even choose which one to f--- What could be the reason? 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:20:49 No.858056404 You're a f----- : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:20:56 No.858056411 you're an anthropomorphic frog. : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:23:57 No.858056605 >Bad luck >You're ugly af >You're annoying af >All of the above Most of the time it's just bad luck.

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Anon seeks revenge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)10:26:36 No.64381495 >you made me spill my ice cream and pulled my shorts down in the 3rd grade >now your wrists will be broken and the flesh shall be removed from your legs leaving you forever naked as you left me that cold winter 71 KB JPG morning Let the games begin
: Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)10:26:36 No.64381495 >you made me spill my ice cream and pulled my shorts down in the 3rd grade >now your wrists will be broken and the flesh shall be removed from your legs leaving you forever naked as you left me that cold winter 71 KB JPG morning Let the games begin

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Anon takes a sip | /r/Greentext

>doing a presentation at work >get a little nervous >take a sip from my water bottle >forgot the cap was on >hold it like I'm drinking for a couple of seconds >let it down >continue speaking >start hearing chuckling from co-workers
>doing a presentation at work >get a little nervous >take a sip from my water bottle >forgot the cap was on >hold it like I'm drinking for a couple of seconds >let it down >continue speaking >start hearing chuckling from co-workers

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Anon plays the forest | /r/Greentext


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This is my first post on this sub so be nice please anons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)21:28:33 No.24491974 >head of the department asks me to run a cross company meeting that is to happen next Monday ??? ??? because he will be on vacation >I decline and tell him I do not feel comfortable at all, I do not have 88 KB PNG people skills and having to run a company wide meeting will be extremely nervewracking for me >He is like, ok >40 minutes later, he messages me again and tells me that I have to do it, because he is the head of the department and he says so, and also it's my responsibility as a senior engineer >mfw I hear for the 1st time that I am a "senior engineer" since my title is just "developer" Should I report this to hr ?
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)21:28:33 No.24491974 >head of the department asks me to run a cross company meeting that is to happen next Monday ??? ??? because he will be on vacation >I decline and tell him I do not feel comfortable at all, I do not have 88 KB PNG people skills and having to run a company wide meeting will be extremely nervewracking for me >He is like, ok >40 minutes later, he messages me again and tells me that I have to do it, because he is the head of the department and he says so, and also it's my responsibility as a senior engineer >mfw I hear for the 1st time that I am a "senior engineer" since my title is just "developer" Should I report this to hr ?

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Reject sex, embrace /fit/ | /r/Greentext

File: 1614692548823.jpg (78 KB, 1024x934) Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)16:03:36 No.24490134 >>24490144 >>24490152 >>24490159 >hang out with my bros and some girls they invited >hit it off with a girl >get her number >party ends and everyone starts leaving >girl asks me to her place >i ate like s--- the whole night and want to keep up with my /fit/ness goals >decide that i already have her number so its cool >say no and do a HIIT routine for the few miles back to my house >texted her the next day and she hasnt responded in a week why am i so autistic
File: 1614692548823.jpg (78 KB, 1024x934) Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)16:03:36 No.24490134 >>24490144 >>24490152 >>24490159 >hang out with my bros and some girls they invited >hit it off with a girl >get her number >party ends and everyone starts leaving >girl asks me to her place >i ate like s--- the whole night and want to keep up with my /fit/ness goals >decide that i already have her number so its cool >say no and do a HIIT routine for the few miles back to my house >texted her the next day and she hasnt responded in a week why am i so autistic

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anon gives up on easy money | /r/Greentext

File: iguess.jpg (98 KB, 1200x675) I Tried Starting a Gaming Channel on Youtube Anonyme >>561979107 >>561979485 >>561980305 >>561980546 >>561981078 >>561 >>561992256 >>561993692 >>561994204 >>561994751 >561996217>>561 >Too close to mic >Too far from mic >Recording has echo >PC fan revs up >Plane goes by >Car Honks >Have to edit the video >Have to edit the audio >Have to come up with a title >Have to Learn SEO so my video shows up in search results >Do all this & have to make a thumbnail that if it's not good nobody will click on the video even if it's 10/10 >All for a handful of views I'm not gonna make it you guys.
File: iguess.jpg (98 KB, 1200x675) I Tried Starting a Gaming Channel on Youtube Anonyme >>561979107 >>561979485 >>561980305 >>561980546 >>561981078 >>561 >>561992256 >>561993692 >>561994204 >>561994751 >561996217>>561 >Too close to mic >Too far from mic >Recording has echo >PC fan revs up >Plane goes by >Car Honks >Have to edit the video >Have to edit the audio >Have to come up with a title >Have to Learn SEO so my video shows up in search results >Do all this & have to make a thumbnail that if it's not good nobody will click on the video even if it's 10/10 >All for a handful of views I'm not gonna make it you guys.

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Anon goes to the toilet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)16:52:15 No.64379797 > be me > have to take an once in a year shut at work cuz I ate some botched food. > the seat is warm Pic related. 15 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)16:53:10 No.64379806 >>64379797 (OP) # should have s--- your pants retard
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)16:52:15 No.64379797 > be me > have to take an once in a year shut at work cuz I ate some botched food. > the seat is warm Pic related. 15 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)16:53:10 No.64379806 >>64379797 (OP) # should have s--- your pants retard

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Anon has a rooster | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/29/21 (Tue)09:03:29 No.3850478 >be married >wife "rescue" a baby chicken >he was kind of cute >FF 4 months >now I have a full grown rooster on my yard >whenever we go to the backyard 11 KB PNG this m----------- tries to peck us to death How do I make this stupid bird respect me?
: Anonymous 06/29/21 (Tue)09:03:29 No.3850478 >be married >wife "rescue" a baby chicken >he was kind of cute >FF 4 months >now I have a full grown rooster on my yard >whenever we go to the backyard 11 KB PNG this m----------- tries to peck us to death How do I make this stupid bird respect me?

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Anon sees boobs | /r/Greentext


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Anon makes food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:57:48 No.858038952 >make grilled cheese >accidentally use horseradish instead of mayo Do I still eat this s--- or not? 441 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:59:00 No.858039029 >>858038952 (OP) # yes. eat the sandwich you made retard
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:57:48 No.858038952 >make grilled cheese >accidentally use horseradish instead of mayo Do I still eat this s--- or not? 441 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:59:00 No.858039029 >>858038952 (OP) # yes. eat the sandwich you made retard

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Anons mom is a certified M.I.L.F | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/19(Wed)18:08:42 No.789551842 Sorry for bad english >Be me ,born in France,Norwegian mother and French father >My mom is a smoking hot cliché blonde bimbo >Knew only one man in her life, my dad (very religious) >Life is good, grow up ,luv my mommy 489 KB JPG and have many friends >Mom comes at my school very often to help with schooltrips ,museum trips and all >Older boys start talking to me, no idea why >One day, I learn from a girl in my class that pretty much all boys in the school fap to my mom and that they talk to me so they can come over to my house for her >Tell her about it >Tell her to stop inviting them >doesn't really understand but agrees >Skip forward a few years >My mom invite friends to come over for a surprise birthday party >Absolute nightmare , we're now teenagers full of hormones and i can see the look on their face when they see my mom >Mommy is totally oblivious to the fact everyone wants to bang her >Friends help her with every house chores >One of them openly gropes her >She just laughs and brush it off >Confront her about it >But anon, they're so happy to come over to your nice house , they're not as lucky as you are (most of my friends are almost street children)! >One day , i get a 0 because i was absent for an exam >Mom comes to meet my teacher WHILE WE'RE IN CLASS WITH HIM >Everyone lose their s--- >"That's anon mom" >"Damn she's hot" >Even the teacher is flirting with her >Tells me i have a very beautiful mom once she's gone >Same evening, go on snapchat >Pictures of my mom's ass and t--- on everyone's story with lewd captions >still have doubts that she could have done something sexual with one my friends out of pity. >I finally break and become a full fledged degenerate ,start having thoughts of my mom getting gangbanged by my friends and my teachers >Addicted to mom ntr now >Get rock hard everytime someone says "I f----- your mom" or something like that as a joke What the f--- is wrong with me , I f------ hate myself now but this s--- arouse me so much
: Anonymous 01/09/19(Wed)18:08:42 No.789551842 Sorry for bad english >Be me ,born in France,Norwegian mother and French father >My mom is a smoking hot cliché blonde bimbo >Knew only one man in her life, my dad (very religious) >Life is good, grow up ,luv my mommy 489 KB JPG and have many friends >Mom comes at my school very often to help with schooltrips ,museum trips and all >Older boys start talking to me, no idea why >One day, I learn from a girl in my class that pretty much all boys in the school fap to my mom and that they talk to me so they can come over to my house for her >Tell her about it >Tell her to stop inviting them >doesn't really understand but agrees >Skip forward a few years >My mom invite friends to come over for a surprise birthday party >Absolute nightmare , we're now teenagers full of hormones and i can see the look on their face when they see my mom >Mommy is totally oblivious to the fact everyone wants to bang her >Friends help her with every house chores >One of them openly gropes her >She just laughs and brush it off >Confront her about it >But anon, they're so happy to come over to your nice house , they're not as lucky as you are (most of my friends are almost street children)! >One day , i get a 0 because i was absent for an exam >Mom comes to meet my teacher WHILE WE'RE IN CLASS WITH HIM >Everyone lose their s--- >"That's anon mom" >"Damn she's hot" >Even the teacher is flirting with her >Tells me i have a very beautiful mom once she's gone >Same evening, go on snapchat >Pictures of my mom's ass and t--- on everyone's story with lewd captions >still have doubts that she could have done something sexual with one my friends out of pity. >I finally break and become a full fledged degenerate ,start having thoughts of my mom getting gangbanged by my friends and my teachers >Addicted to mom ntr now >Get rock hard everytime someone says "I f----- your mom" or something like that as a joke What the f--- is wrong with me , I f------ hate myself now but this s--- arouse me so much

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anon vs werwolf girl | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:19:57 No.858023762 File: 08C950EB-5D26-4477-ABFF-0(.).jpg (16 KB, 484x634) >>858023839 >be me >school holidays >werewolf chick texts me >conversation >turns into fight >says she's gonna kill me when school is back on >fuckyouare.jpeg >come to school with knife in bag in case I get jumped >chilling in hallway >someone says she's outside and wants me >go out, no f----- way she steppin on me >she's there >slowly extends hand with knife in >"Anon... kill me..." >??????? >hell nah bih >leave >she stalks me all day Still idk tf went on Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)15:21:43 No.858023839 >>858023762 kinky
O Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)15:19:57 No.858023762 File: 08C950EB-5D26-4477-ABFF-0(.).jpg (16 KB, 484x634) >>858023839 >be me >school holidays >werewolf chick texts me >conversation >turns into fight >says she's gonna kill me when school is back on >fuckyouare.jpeg >come to school with knife in bag in case I get jumped >chilling in hallway >someone says she's outside and wants me >go out, no f----- way she steppin on me >she's there >slowly extends hand with knife in >"Anon... kill me..." >??????? >hell nah bih >leave >she stalks me all day Still idk tf went on Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)15:21:43 No.858023839 >>858023762 kinky

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Anon is worried | /r/Greentext


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Jarvis, pronounce certain vowels according to racial stereotypes | /r/Greentext

library.jpg (19 KB, 376x396) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous (ID: 2dsY+yyg) 118 minutes ago No.108470073 >rive in asian country >every day dreamu about go to america to study at best universities in worrd >study so hard, finarry get accepted >be in university >tink about how i can make dis worrd better, buird tings, sorve probrems >time for finar examerus >go to ribrary to study >suddenry group of baka- brack rives matter d-------- storm in >chimparu outaru >shouting so roud, cannot study >dey onry here because of affirmative action, studying brack history and other s----tier humanities >makeru me so angry >sad westerners stand back, in fear of social excrusion from being carred racist >rearize my destiny >must save da western worrd myserf >srowry, i rise >i stride to chimp brigade >'hey" >'hey" >'HEY" >the room goes sirent >as subtle and as sharp as the forded steer of mighty katana, my words srice tru sirence >'dis is ribrary" >dey stand in sirence >dey giant rips hang rimp >do not know what to do >dey cannot carru me "white deviru" >dey cannot carru me racist >dey stand defeated >the grorious asian race will triumph in endu--
library.jpg (19 KB, 376x396) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous (ID: 2dsY+yyg) 118 minutes ago No.108470073 >rive in asian country >every day dreamu about go to america to study at best universities in worrd >study so hard, finarry get accepted >be in university >tink about how i can make dis worrd better, buird tings, sorve probrems >time for finar examerus >go to ribrary to study >suddenry group of baka- brack rives matter d-------- storm in >chimparu outaru >shouting so roud, cannot study >dey onry here because of affirmative action, studying brack history and other s----tier humanities >makeru me so angry >sad westerners stand back, in fear of social excrusion from being carred racist >rearize my destiny >must save da western worrd myserf >srowry, i rise >i stride to chimp brigade >'hey" >'hey" >'HEY" >the room goes sirent >as subtle and as sharp as the forded steer of mighty katana, my words srice tru sirence >'dis is ribrary" >dey stand in sirence >dey giant rips hang rimp >do not know what to do >dey cannot carru me "white deviru" >dey cannot carru me racist >dey stand defeated >the grorious asian race will triumph in endu--

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Anon watches TV | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)23:03:59 No.49538955 >watching TV or movie >sex joke is made >everyone is about to laugh until they stop and think "Wait, anon is a virgin, he can't relate to that. He probably doesn't even know about that. Better not laugh, better suppress laughter and avoid eye contact. We can't 64 KB JPG share a laugh about this." I'm always that guy. Not just with jokes, just any time something sexual comes up. I can tell everyone wants to go "But...you...don't...know anything about that." : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)23:06:04 No.49538981 you are mentally ill. no one does that.
: Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)23:03:59 No.49538955 >watching TV or movie >sex joke is made >everyone is about to laugh until they stop and think "Wait, anon is a virgin, he can't relate to that. He probably doesn't even know about that. Better not laugh, better suppress laughter and avoid eye contact. We can't 64 KB JPG share a laugh about this." I'm always that guy. Not just with jokes, just any time something sexual comes up. I can tell everyone wants to go "But...you...don't...know anything about that." : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)23:06:04 No.49538981 you are mentally ill. no one does that.

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