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Anon has a strong heart | /r/Greentext

File: 1604547427029.jpg (134 KB, 683x667) O Mires Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)18:48:28 No.62411966 >>62412000 >>62412031 >>62412321 >>62412868 >>62412919 >>62413061 >>62413 >>62413535 >>62413991 >>62414004 >>62414303 >>62414396 >>62414397 >>62415480 >>62415689 >>62415714 >Be at female "friends" house >We're cuddling on the couch watching TV >She has her head resting right on my heart >She says "You have a strong heart" >"What do you mean?" >"I can hear your heart loudly through your jacket. I've never met someone who's heart I could hear like that especially with clothes on." >> Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)18:52:35 No.62412000 ► >> Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)18:53:33 No.62412013 > * O Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)18:54:18 No.62412031 >>62412854 >>62414370 File: 1624738585441.jpg (110 KB, 720x960) >>62411966 (OP). >puts ear over heart >is surprised she can hear your heart >you are too you two sound like a match made in retard heaven
File: 1604547427029.jpg (134 KB, 683x667) O Mires Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)18:48:28 No.62411966 >>62412000 >>62412031 >>62412321 >>62412868 >>62412919 >>62413061 >>62413 >>62413535 >>62413991 >>62414004 >>62414303 >>62414396 >>62414397 >>62415480 >>62415689 >>62415714 >Be at female "friends" house >We're cuddling on the couch watching TV >She has her head resting right on my heart >She says "You have a strong heart" >"What do you mean?" >"I can hear your heart loudly through your jacket. I've never met someone who's heart I could hear like that especially with clothes on." >> Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)18:52:35 No.62412000 ► >> Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)18:53:33 No.62412013 > * O Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)18:54:18 No.62412031 >>62412854 >>62414370 File: 1624738585441.jpg (110 KB, 720x960) >>62411966 (OP). >puts ear over heart >is surprised she can hear your heart >you are too you two sound like a match made in retard heaven

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Anon copes with her problems, but has harder times in her life. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)14:55:33 No.64435308 File: 1616461250154.jpg (36 KB, 334x400) >looking at old pictures of myself >bloated, red-faced, obvious alcoholic >look in the mirror >brighter, no bloating, happy, clearly sober >no bf to hug me and tell me I'm doing a good job >nobody to share it with >sit down and think about drinking
O Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)14:55:33 No.64435308 File: 1616461250154.jpg (36 KB, 334x400) >looking at old pictures of myself >bloated, red-faced, obvious alcoholic >look in the mirror >brighter, no bloating, happy, clearly sober >no bf to hug me and tell me I'm doing a good job >nobody to share it with >sit down and think about drinking

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Anon is a certified virgin | /r/Greentext

>>40073392 (OP) # >walking girl down path to her house holding hands >she lets go of my hand >anon, i think we need to go 293 KB PNG further than this >well yeah how else are we gonna get to your house?
>>40073392 (OP) # >walking girl down path to her house holding hands >she lets go of my hand >anon, i think we need to go 293 KB PNG further than this >well yeah how else are we gonna get to your house?

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Anon questions the title | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)23:44:13 No.3815539 >"king of the jungle" >doesn't actually live in a jungle ??? 253 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)08:40:45 No.3816028 >>3815539 (OP) # >Queen of Australia >Doesn't actually live in Australia 179 KB JPG >>3818624 # >>3818813 #
: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)23:44:13 No.3815539 >"king of the jungle" >doesn't actually live in a jungle ??? 253 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)08:40:45 No.3816028 >>3815539 (OP) # >Queen of Australia >Doesn't actually live in Australia 179 KB JPG >>3818624 # >>3818813 #

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Anon takes a dump | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)09:09:04 No.64432554 >went to see a movie at the park tonight >portapotties instead of real bathrooms >get bad stomach pains >while waiting in line one girl starts shouting 'they've all been occupied 20 KB JPG a long time. Are they pooing? Gross! Why would you poo in a portapotty?" >already feeling embarassed, but too much pain to care >get into a porta potty >quietly do my business >after several minutes the door opens >I thought I had locked it, but it had not gone all the way >the guy apologizes and closes, but everyone saw me, a giant line of people >i can hear a woman asking if im 'okay', as i was sitting on the toilet >suddenly hear lots of laughing >it goes on for almost 3 whole minutes
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)09:09:04 No.64432554 >went to see a movie at the park tonight >portapotties instead of real bathrooms >get bad stomach pains >while waiting in line one girl starts shouting 'they've all been occupied 20 KB JPG a long time. Are they pooing? Gross! Why would you poo in a portapotty?" >already feeling embarassed, but too much pain to care >get into a porta potty >quietly do my business >after several minutes the door opens >I thought I had locked it, but it had not gone all the way >the guy apologizes and closes, but everyone saw me, a giant line of people >i can hear a woman asking if im 'okay', as i was sitting on the toilet >suddenly hear lots of laughing >it goes on for almost 3 whole minutes

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Anon is concerned about his privacy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)09:18:30 No.64430977 >parents have installed hidden cams in my room I have no idea why they'd do something like that, f---, I'm so nervous, I was just dancing around being autistic in my room yesterday, they probably saw that, it's so embarrassing. Why would a parent do this 7 KB JPG to their child, bros? : Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)09:22:01 No.64431014 >>64430977 (OP) # to watch you masturbate (: www.frue-emiley-faces.de 56 KB GIF
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)09:18:30 No.64430977 >parents have installed hidden cams in my room I have no idea why they'd do something like that, f---, I'm so nervous, I was just dancing around being autistic in my room yesterday, they probably saw that, it's so embarrassing. Why would a parent do this 7 KB JPG to their child, bros? : Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)09:22:01 No.64431014 >>64430977 (OP) # to watch you masturbate (: www.frue-emiley-faces.de 56 KB GIF

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Anon meets a cowboy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/12/19(Tue)09:02:21 No.123956570 >At cinema >cowboy with 10 gallon hat sits in front of me >ask him to take off hat >head is the same size and shape as the hat 12 KB GIF
Anonymous 11/12/19(Tue)09:02:21 No.123956570 >At cinema >cowboy with 10 gallon hat sits in front of me >ask him to take off hat >head is the same size and shape as the hat 12 KB GIF

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Anon is cheesed to meet you | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)19:17:32 No.858301715 I am cheesed to meet you. >Their skins starts shrinking, eventually I meet someone In et aeth ripping. They scream in agony. | am cheesed to meet you. >Their body's transformation begins, THE CASE GOES ÇOLD THE AUTHORITIES CANNOT FIND ENOUGH EVIDENCE TO MAKE THE CHARGES STICK agonizingly slow. They continue to screech in pain. 26 KB JPG I am cheesed to meet you. >The whiskers sprout, their hair falling out. They howl like a dog. I am cheesed to meet you. >After an eternity, the conversion is complete. Another cog in the machine. I am cheesed to meet you. >The spread will never end. I am cheesed to meet you.
: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)19:17:32 No.858301715 I am cheesed to meet you. >Their skins starts shrinking, eventually I meet someone In et aeth ripping. They scream in agony. | am cheesed to meet you. >Their body's transformation begins, THE CASE GOES ÇOLD THE AUTHORITIES CANNOT FIND ENOUGH EVIDENCE TO MAKE THE CHARGES STICK agonizingly slow. They continue to screech in pain. 26 KB JPG I am cheesed to meet you. >The whiskers sprout, their hair falling out. They howl like a dog. I am cheesed to meet you. >After an eternity, the conversion is complete. Another cog in the machine. I am cheesed to meet you. >The spread will never end. I am cheesed to meet you.

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Anon found the way | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets a wish. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/17(Thu)23:59:16 No.751895601 You wake up and find out you're a kid again in whatever placed you lived in at age 10. It also turns out you have fairly oddparents that will grant you anything you desire, what will it be? 147 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/17(Fri)00:14:08 No.751896408 >>751895601 (OP) # I'd honestly wish for an afterlife to be 100% confirmed, for people who died in the past and thereafter. I just really want to see my brother again. I miss him. >>751896478 # : Anonymous 11/24/17(Fri)00:15:15 No.751896478 >>751896408 # Haha that's f------ gay I'd wish for some huge ass t---
: Anonymous 11/23/17(Thu)23:59:16 No.751895601 You wake up and find out you're a kid again in whatever placed you lived in at age 10. It also turns out you have fairly oddparents that will grant you anything you desire, what will it be? 147 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/17(Fri)00:14:08 No.751896408 >>751895601 (OP) # I'd honestly wish for an afterlife to be 100% confirmed, for people who died in the past and thereafter. I just really want to see my brother again. I miss him. >>751896478 # : Anonymous 11/24/17(Fri)00:15:15 No.751896478 >>751896408 # Haha that's f------ gay I'd wish for some huge ass t---

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The sharif he likes it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)14:33:44 No.64426605 Islam Apologia for imperialism Simplistic view of religion Anti-imperialist struggle Nuance ZIONISM Atheism ISLAM Secular dogmatism One true religion Materialist hedonism Justice for all WE WUZ SCEINTISTS N SHEIT Higher suicide rate Self-improvement Scientism Emphasis on learning Anti-degeneracy Life has meaning No basis for objective morality Salvation from the hellfire Nihilistic existence TATATTAT muftinowe com Islam.jpg 80 KB JPG >Men are still men >Men win divorce >Men can have 4 wives, as all the elder Prophets did >Women can only have 1 husband >Men run the family >Men can 'correct' their wives if they act uppity >Adulterous women are stoned >Pre-marital sex having normies are lashed hundred times >Women that are r---- need 4 witnesses to prove it and if they lie their head is on the swivel >Parents can discipline their children >No degeneracy >No drugs >No alcohol >No pork >No dogs >No music Which way western man?
: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)14:33:44 No.64426605 Islam Apologia for imperialism Simplistic view of religion Anti-imperialist struggle Nuance ZIONISM Atheism ISLAM Secular dogmatism One true religion Materialist hedonism Justice for all WE WUZ SCEINTISTS N SHEIT Higher suicide rate Self-improvement Scientism Emphasis on learning Anti-degeneracy Life has meaning No basis for objective morality Salvation from the hellfire Nihilistic existence TATATTAT muftinowe com Islam.jpg 80 KB JPG >Men are still men >Men win divorce >Men can have 4 wives, as all the elder Prophets did >Women can only have 1 husband >Men run the family >Men can 'correct' their wives if they act uppity >Adulterous women are stoned >Pre-marital sex having normies are lashed hundred times >Women that are r---- need 4 witnesses to prove it and if they lie their head is on the swivel >Parents can discipline their children >No degeneracy >No drugs >No alcohol >No pork >No dogs >No music Which way western man?

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Anon is fat | /r/Greentext


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For everything (turn, turn, turn), there is a season | /r/Greentext


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Anon loves broccoli | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/19(Sun)01:47:25 No.106871385 Do real kids actually not like broccoli? It seems to be a trope for characters to hate it, but I loved eating broccoli and other vegetables as a kid. 38 KB JPG Anonymous 04/07/19(Sun)01:57:05 No.106871668 I was poor so we had nothing but microwave s--- and ramen. I didnt try broccoli until i was in jr high and i was so surprised at how good it tasted. My friends mom had made broccoli and cheese. I ate about 3 servings and told her how it was my first time to try it. I told them how cartoons always told me it would taste so bad. I wish i could have f----- my friends mom
: Anonymous 04/07/19(Sun)01:47:25 No.106871385 Do real kids actually not like broccoli? It seems to be a trope for characters to hate it, but I loved eating broccoli and other vegetables as a kid. 38 KB JPG Anonymous 04/07/19(Sun)01:57:05 No.106871668 I was poor so we had nothing but microwave s--- and ramen. I didnt try broccoli until i was in jr high and i was so surprised at how good it tasted. My friends mom had made broccoli and cheese. I ate about 3 servings and told her how it was my first time to try it. I told them how cartoons always told me it would taste so bad. I wish i could have f----- my friends mom

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Anon uses Febreze | /r/Greentext

File: OF69E76C-E313-476F-8BF9-9(...).png (46 KB, 945x1234) O Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)00:37:30 No.858313553 [Reply] >take a s--- >it stinks >use air freshener >now it just smells like s--- and air freshener
File: OF69E76C-E313-476F-8BF9-9(...).png (46 KB, 945x1234) O Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)00:37:30 No.858313553 [Reply] >take a s--- >it stinks >use air freshener >now it just smells like s--- and air freshener

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Anon can’t dance. | /r/Greentext

>at nightclub last night >dancing >start dancing with cute redhead girl >name is Emily >things are going well >I spun her around, all is 22 KB PNG good >she spins me around >l f--- up >l spun the wrong f------ way >that move broke our hand contact and she was no longer dancing with me >within seconds some bearded alpha c--- zooms in and has got her >he spins her then pulls her in so she's facing away and they grind >within moments they're making out on the dance floor This is by far the dumbest way I've ever lost the girl. How the f--- could I have spun the wrong f------ way.
>at nightclub last night >dancing >start dancing with cute redhead girl >name is Emily >things are going well >I spun her around, all is 22 KB PNG good >she spins me around >l f--- up >l spun the wrong f------ way >that move broke our hand contact and she was no longer dancing with me >within seconds some bearded alpha c--- zooms in and has got her >he spins her then pulls her in so she's facing away and they grind >within moments they're making out on the dance floor This is by far the dumbest way I've ever lost the girl. How the f--- could I have spun the wrong f------ way.

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Anon is based and dog-pilled | /r/Greentext

No.858299256 07/03/21(Sat)20:36:21 lain2.png PNG 346.2 KiB 593x512 >goes to a local store >sees a dog pooping on the floor >proceeds to step on the poop before the owner can clean it up 2 replies No.858300113 07/03/21(Sat)20:51:18 >>858299256 (OP) based
No.858299256 07/03/21(Sat)20:36:21 lain2.png PNG 346.2 KiB 593x512 >goes to a local store >sees a dog pooping on the floor >proceeds to step on the poop before the owner can clean it up 2 replies No.858300113 07/03/21(Sat)20:51:18 >>858299256 (OP) based

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Anon's has a serious mental illness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E I just spent $100 on onlyfans (...) 07/03/21(Sat)22:34:14 No.64423330 >mfw I realized it's just 30 second trailers of scenes you have to pay $15 for. >mfw it's just trailers that are already on redgifs >mfw most of the full videos are 90 KB JPG already on pornhub >mfw it's just clips4sale but you have to pay to see the trailers >mfw onlyfans is a scam >mfw cooming is a scam.. I even have a gf I could have been banging instead
: Anonymous E I just spent $100 on onlyfans (...) 07/03/21(Sat)22:34:14 No.64423330 >mfw I realized it's just 30 second trailers of scenes you have to pay $15 for. >mfw it's just trailers that are already on redgifs >mfw most of the full videos are 90 KB JPG already on pornhub >mfw it's just clips4sale but you have to pay to see the trailers >mfw onlyfans is a scam >mfw cooming is a scam.. I even have a gf I could have been banging instead

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Anon almost gets “mugged” | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] File: BlightDumping.jpg (997 KB, 2400x1596) Bad Neighborhood stories thread Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)18:59:20 No.64427819 Oh my god, a thread that isn't p---? Impossible. Catch-all for all the anons who live on the seedy-er sides of town and have experienced what makes them so seedy. Example from literally an hour ago below. >walking to store to get a pepsi/get some cardio in >walk down traintracks into the usual neighborhood i walk through >like 6 people standing on this porch stare at me as i walk past >lady across the street goes "hey come talk to me! cmon you dont want to talk to me?" >pants_shat.jpg >say i have a job interview to be at at the Circle K down the street (friends of mine work there and can vouch for me) >walk faster >porch f------ start following me >idea.jpg >pull out phone and look at the time >say aloud "s--- it's almost 5:30" and break out into a jog >they jog after me >i hear "yeah you better run little f-----" >passive_restraints.mp3 >run at full sprint >eventually outrun them because i'm not sagging my pants like a f------ tool >their dogs are still after me >f------ BOLT to the Handee Hugos where someone I know works >duck inside >grab pepsi >unshit pants >get a ride home
[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] File: BlightDumping.jpg (997 KB, 2400x1596) Bad Neighborhood stories thread Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)18:59:20 No.64427819 Oh my god, a thread that isn't p---? Impossible. Catch-all for all the anons who live on the seedy-er sides of town and have experienced what makes them so seedy. Example from literally an hour ago below. >walking to store to get a pepsi/get some cardio in >walk down traintracks into the usual neighborhood i walk through >like 6 people standing on this porch stare at me as i walk past >lady across the street goes "hey come talk to me! cmon you dont want to talk to me?" >pants_shat.jpg >say i have a job interview to be at at the Circle K down the street (friends of mine work there and can vouch for me) >walk faster >porch f------ start following me >idea.jpg >pull out phone and look at the time >say aloud "s--- it's almost 5:30" and break out into a jog >they jog after me >i hear "yeah you better run little f-----" >passive_restraints.mp3 >run at full sprint >eventually outrun them because i'm not sagging my pants like a f------ tool >their dogs are still after me >f------ BOLT to the Handee Hugos where someone I know works >duck inside >grab pepsi >unshit pants >get a ride home

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Anon gets a present | /r/Greentext

>>147909867 # this image made me relive the most cringe moment of my life. >4 years ago in highschool, its my birthday >day is going smoothly and im excited to go home >girl that i was friendly with (we talked inbetween classes and s--- but i didnt hang out with her much) comes up to me with a present >didnt expect it from her so i start spilling spaghetti >"happy birthday anon!" >"y-you too" >laugh nervously and power walk out of the class like an autist >get to the school exit and my friends are talking in front of it >people used to joke i was in love with that girl so i was scared they would see the present in my hand and start joking >panic spergout and throw the present in the trash as im leaving >realize i couldve just put it in my bag or something but now its too late >look back as im leaving the school >mfw the girl saw me trashing it >get on my bike and speed away while crying >never talk to her again >>147911496 # >>147911613 #
>>147909867 # this image made me relive the most cringe moment of my life. >4 years ago in highschool, its my birthday >day is going smoothly and im excited to go home >girl that i was friendly with (we talked inbetween classes and s--- but i didnt hang out with her much) comes up to me with a present >didnt expect it from her so i start spilling spaghetti >"happy birthday anon!" >"y-you too" >laugh nervously and power walk out of the class like an autist >get to the school exit and my friends are talking in front of it >people used to joke i was in love with that girl so i was scared they would see the present in my hand and start joking >panic spergout and throw the present in the trash as im leaving >realize i couldve just put it in my bag or something but now its too late >look back as im leaving the school >mfw the girl saw me trashing it >get on my bike and speed away while crying >never talk to her again >>147911496 # >>147911613 #

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