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anon lives in the best country | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:48:57 No.858354928 >be me, american >taking night classes at the local high school so i can get a phd and earn $15 an hour >school shooter enters classroom the third time this week 59 KB JPG >shoots me, i go unconscious >wake up in hospital, apparently my thirteen inches of chest fat stopped the bullet from hitting my heart >sell house, car and dog to pay hospital debt >finish treatment after a week >get shot by cop and die
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:48:57 No.858354928 >be me, american >taking night classes at the local high school so i can get a phd and earn $15 an hour >school shooter enters classroom the third time this week 59 KB JPG >shoots me, i go unconscious >wake up in hospital, apparently my thirteen inches of chest fat stopped the bullet from hitting my heart >sell house, car and dog to pay hospital debt >finish treatment after a week >get shot by cop and die

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Anon is feeling trolley | /r/Greentext

>Wake up feeling trolley >Go on Twitter >Be extremely homophobic >All the Emilys ACAB BLM (she/her) immediately start to attack me 43 KB JPG >They call me a p------------ >l call them anti-semetic nazi scums for not respecting one of my religious beliefs >Go on a rant about how my religious views aren't respected my the them western imperialistic fascists >Finish by saying someday Allah will show them his light >Watch their little brains blue screen Seethe F------
>Wake up feeling trolley >Go on Twitter >Be extremely homophobic >All the Emilys ACAB BLM (she/her) immediately start to attack me 43 KB JPG >They call me a p------------ >l call them anti-semetic nazi scums for not respecting one of my religious beliefs >Go on a rant about how my religious views aren't respected my the them western imperialistic fascists >Finish by saying someday Allah will show them his light >Watch their little brains blue screen Seethe F------

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Anon doesn't need a tent | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)02:00:16 No.2128676 >>2122263 # >be me >go camping with friends >"Anon, where is your tent and sleeping bag?" >pull out carton of cigarettes, gallon of tang, extra large bottle of cheap vodka >"Here's my plan, use supplies to get someone drunk enough to let me sleep with them." >get to camp site >bunch of hippies partying nearby >go hang out with them >Oh s---, they don't have any smokes, good thing I have a carton of Marlboro reds >Oh s---, they haven't had a ghetto ass screwdriver, good thing I have enough to share >party into the night >hook up with some cracked out, hippie chick with 2 different colored eyes >"Achievement: Lose my VCard" - obtained >sleep in their van >rejoin my group next day >"W-- Anon?" >"S--- worked out last night." II Not sure how the f--- I made it out of my later teen years >>2132419 # >>2132551 # >>2133410 # >>2153692 #
Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)02:00:16 No.2128676 >>2122263 # >be me >go camping with friends >"Anon, where is your tent and sleeping bag?" >pull out carton of cigarettes, gallon of tang, extra large bottle of cheap vodka >"Here's my plan, use supplies to get someone drunk enough to let me sleep with them." >get to camp site >bunch of hippies partying nearby >go hang out with them >Oh s---, they don't have any smokes, good thing I have a carton of Marlboro reds >Oh s---, they haven't had a ghetto ass screwdriver, good thing I have enough to share >party into the night >hook up with some cracked out, hippie chick with 2 different colored eyes >"Achievement: Lose my VCard" - obtained >sleep in their van >rejoin my group next day >"W-- Anon?" >"S--- worked out last night." II Not sure how the f--- I made it out of my later teen years >>2132419 # >>2132551 # >>2133410 # >>2153692 #

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Anon writes a song | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 20:06:57 No.63219574 hi my name is Alvin I am 11 years old I really like among us and memes and I have seen a lot of funny 4chan stories on reddit. I wrote this song about Among us for you guys I hope it's funny and please share other cool stuff with me thanks 17 KB JPG > oh yea when the imposster is sussy >I do your mom in the p---- > sussy sussy sussy > your fat moms p---- > if you are sus > you ride the short bus
: Anonymous 20:06:57 No.63219574 hi my name is Alvin I am 11 years old I really like among us and memes and I have seen a lot of funny 4chan stories on reddit. I wrote this song about Among us for you guys I hope it's funny and please share other cool stuff with me thanks 17 KB JPG > oh yea when the imposster is sussy >I do your mom in the p---- > sussy sussy sussy > your fat moms p---- > if you are sus > you ride the short bus

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Anon gets hired | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/20(Mon)01:52:34 No.137379681 >You must be anon right? 25 unemployed, no drivers license, no university degree and no signs of a girlfriend in the registry. >Welcome aboard. 54 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/03/20(Mon)01:52:34 No.137379681 >You must be anon right? 25 unemployed, no drivers license, no university degree and no signs of a girlfriend in the registry. >Welcome aboard. 54 KB JPG

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Anon points out a useful skill to have | /r/Greentext

SOCIAL O Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)19:30:47 No.858197549 tiy dyeoeits at nata >best cheat code for life: be sociable >that's literally it, just have social skills and you're set for life >life is kind to rich and attractive people, but even kinder to socially competent people witid gang dmiti wng o If you look closely, you'll notice that people with the best jobs aren't necessarily the ones with the best curriculum or gpa or whatever but rather the ones who networked the best. Same for school, the class representative or leader of the school's union wasn't the one with the best grades but rather the one who knew how to handle most social situations to lift themselves in the social hierarchy. And the healthiest people are the ones with a good social circle - socializing is important for our mental health as well.
SOCIAL O Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)19:30:47 No.858197549 tiy dyeoeits at nata >best cheat code for life: be sociable >that's literally it, just have social skills and you're set for life >life is kind to rich and attractive people, but even kinder to socially competent people witid gang dmiti wng o If you look closely, you'll notice that people with the best jobs aren't necessarily the ones with the best curriculum or gpa or whatever but rather the ones who networked the best. Same for school, the class representative or leader of the school's union wasn't the one with the best grades but rather the one who knew how to handle most social situations to lift themselves in the social hierarchy. And the healthiest people are the ones with a good social circle - socializing is important for our mental health as well.

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Anon hates life | /r/Greentext

File: 8184EA66-E997-4420-897F-1(..).jpg (23 KB, 474x266) Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)00:51:01 No.858457164 >tfw I'm alive for a time where people trust blatant misinformation >tfw I'm alive for a time where American politics are a joke and both sides are full of old men >tfw I'm alive for a time where people will be cancelled for a single statement from decades ago >tfw I'm alive for a time when the left calls you a bigot for not accepting p--------- as a sexuality >tfw I'm alive for a time when it's considered "fat shaming" to tell someone who's morbidly obese to get in shape >tfw I live in a time where my country is encouraged to be hated on by sjw's on Twitter >tfw billionaires control most of the world and its economy >ffw I'm alive in a time when the main entity that controls the earth is a corrupt megacorporation >tfw I'm alive in a time where most children are raised by screens and not by their parents >tfw I'm not alive to fight for my country over anything that matters >tfw my life lacks any meaning now that humanity is so overpopulated >tfw people are so afraid of death that they'd rather overpopulate the planet and live in their own filth and disease than lose a couple of people "But life isn't that bad anon" [Return] [Catalog] [Top]
File: 8184EA66-E997-4420-897F-1(..).jpg (23 KB, 474x266) Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)00:51:01 No.858457164 >tfw I'm alive for a time where people trust blatant misinformation >tfw I'm alive for a time where American politics are a joke and both sides are full of old men >tfw I'm alive for a time where people will be cancelled for a single statement from decades ago >tfw I'm alive for a time when the left calls you a bigot for not accepting p--------- as a sexuality >tfw I'm alive for a time when it's considered "fat shaming" to tell someone who's morbidly obese to get in shape >tfw I live in a time where my country is encouraged to be hated on by sjw's on Twitter >tfw billionaires control most of the world and its economy >ffw I'm alive in a time when the main entity that controls the earth is a corrupt megacorporation >tfw I'm alive in a time where most children are raised by screens and not by their parents >tfw I'm not alive to fight for my country over anything that matters >tfw my life lacks any meaning now that humanity is so overpopulated >tfw people are so afraid of death that they'd rather overpopulate the planet and live in their own filth and disease than lose a couple of people "But life isn't that bad anon" [Return] [Catalog] [Top]

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Pain, suffering, agony even | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)12:36:19 No.64461890 True story thread? >be me, lonely virgin >never held hands with a girl >finally meet someone that likes me >she comes over to my house, we start talking 141 KB JPG >find out we have a lot of the same interests >have sex later, never been happier in my entire life Few days later >we order pizza but it never arrives >decide f--- it, lets eat at a restaurant >end up on the beach >sunset >we kiss >feels like everything is perfect in this moment >wake up >mfw it was all a dream >cry for hours The dream litteraly felt like it lasted for days. Why does this s--- happen to me?
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)12:36:19 No.64461890 True story thread? >be me, lonely virgin >never held hands with a girl >finally meet someone that likes me >she comes over to my house, we start talking 141 KB JPG >find out we have a lot of the same interests >have sex later, never been happier in my entire life Few days later >we order pizza but it never arrives >decide f--- it, lets eat at a restaurant >end up on the beach >sunset >we kiss >feels like everything is perfect in this moment >wake up >mfw it was all a dream >cry for hours The dream litteraly felt like it lasted for days. Why does this s--- happen to me?

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Anons have smooth brain moments | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)08:30:00 No.64461133 >go pee >take underwear all the way off for some reason >throw underwear in toilet >wet plap of it hitting the water >watch it sink into the bowl a little 8 KB JPG >start peeing before I realize what I just did >mfw 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)08:33:50 No.64461154 >>64461133 (OP) # >go to change the toilet paper >get a fresh roll out >throw it right into the toilet Based OP making me not feel as bad
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)08:30:00 No.64461133 >go pee >take underwear all the way off for some reason >throw underwear in toilet >wet plap of it hitting the water >watch it sink into the bowl a little 8 KB JPG >start peeing before I realize what I just did >mfw 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)08:33:50 No.64461154 >>64461133 (OP) # >go to change the toilet paper >get a fresh roll out >throw it right into the toilet Based OP making me not feel as bad

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Anon runs a resturant. | /r/Greentext


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Anon meets a British person | /r/Greentext


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I'll be your mirror | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Istalk/ but not actual stalkin(...) 07/05/21(Mon)06:30:29 No.64450356 Anyone else have individuals they are obsessed with and they follow STALKER obsessively on social media? >crush has TikTok >Made an account, follow her and she accepted (kinda stupid of her but I aint gonna complain) 52 KB JPG >Pretend to be LGBT even though I hate LGBT (except her. she is LGBT so I gotta pretend) >Make stupid dumb f------ tik tok videos >Do this all just so I can follow her private account without her getting suspicious Anyone in a similar boat?
: Anonymous Istalk/ but not actual stalkin(...) 07/05/21(Mon)06:30:29 No.64450356 Anyone else have individuals they are obsessed with and they follow STALKER obsessively on social media? >crush has TikTok >Made an account, follow her and she accepted (kinda stupid of her but I aint gonna complain) 52 KB JPG >Pretend to be LGBT even though I hate LGBT (except her. she is LGBT so I gotta pretend) >Make stupid dumb f------ tik tok videos >Do this all just so I can follow her private account without her getting suspicious Anyone in a similar boat?

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Anon has made it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Inflection point: Should I bec(...) 07/05/21 (Mon)22:05:02 No.64455881 >27 yo >khvirgin >Meet a cute 31 year old single mom >She has a 7 year old boy >Starts showing interest in me >Thinks I'm cool, flirts, eventually asks 183 KB JPG me out. >The date was awesome, I was nervous and she thought it was cute. >Drops her at her place, the nanny is just leaving >"Hey anon, my kid is already sleeping, don't you want to come in?" >holyshititshappening.jpg >Small talk on the couch, she jumps on top of me and starts making out with me. >Sex.jpg >l never felt so happy in my life >Been together for two months >Her kid is a cool guy, loves dinosaurs >We go to the museum, see some fossils I buy him ice cream and a toy triceratops. >"uncle anon, this is the best day ever" For the first time in my life, I feel a fraction of what a being a father is like. I feel purpose and drive, my job doesn't seem pointless anymore. I look forward to meeting them and doing family stuff together. Am I making a huge mistake? I think I'm gonna marry this woman and adopt the little guy.
: Anonymous Inflection point: Should I bec(...) 07/05/21 (Mon)22:05:02 No.64455881 >27 yo >khvirgin >Meet a cute 31 year old single mom >She has a 7 year old boy >Starts showing interest in me >Thinks I'm cool, flirts, eventually asks 183 KB JPG me out. >The date was awesome, I was nervous and she thought it was cute. >Drops her at her place, the nanny is just leaving >"Hey anon, my kid is already sleeping, don't you want to come in?" >holyshititshappening.jpg >Small talk on the couch, she jumps on top of me and starts making out with me. >Sex.jpg >l never felt so happy in my life >Been together for two months >Her kid is a cool guy, loves dinosaurs >We go to the museum, see some fossils I buy him ice cream and a toy triceratops. >"uncle anon, this is the best day ever" For the first time in my life, I feel a fraction of what a being a father is like. I feel purpose and drive, my job doesn't seem pointless anymore. I look forward to meeting them and doing family stuff together. Am I making a huge mistake? I think I'm gonna marry this woman and adopt the little guy.

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

No.858448729 07/05/21(Mon)20:53:49 2FF96163-8F5C-4F2A-BBB1-316F07C56ADF.png PNG 550.9 Kiв 619х562 >be me >friends share p--- all the time in group chat >decide to do a little trolling >save an entire folder of traps that pass as female if you don't know better >every time they send sauce, I send a trap >they always respond with reaction images and gifs about how hot the pics are >l do this for a year >finally tell them they were all dudes >some are p-----, one actually came out as gay in the midst of all the chaos >group chat is still blowing up >eating tendies and laughing my ass off
No.858448729 07/05/21(Mon)20:53:49 2FF96163-8F5C-4F2A-BBB1-316F07C56ADF.png PNG 550.9 Kiв 619х562 >be me >friends share p--- all the time in group chat >decide to do a little trolling >save an entire folder of traps that pass as female if you don't know better >every time they send sauce, I send a trap >they always respond with reaction images and gifs about how hot the pics are >l do this for a year >finally tell them they were all dudes >some are p-----, one actually came out as gay in the midst of all the chaos >group chat is still blowing up >eating tendies and laughing my ass off

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Anon bout to drop his spaghetti | /r/Greentext

NHH Norges Handelshayskole Am ae O Anonymous (ID: 2otgtgwJ)E 07/05/21 (Mon)20:17:19 No.328877168 >>328878497 >>328878922 >>328879170 >>328879729 >>328879803 >>328879914 >>328 >>328883515 >>328883596 >>328884325 >>328885545 >>328885606 >have lecture >walk in room >see pic related >faint artificial strawberry scent in the air >hot summer day >24 degrees in the room >walk up to front of the class >knees are weak, legs can hardly carry you >turn around to face the class >100 fertile, breeding age nord female faces >sweat leaking out of every part of your body >r----------- coming on >aint nothing stopping this bad boy What do?
NHH Norges Handelshayskole Am ae O Anonymous (ID: 2otgtgwJ)E 07/05/21 (Mon)20:17:19 No.328877168 >>328878497 >>328878922 >>328879170 >>328879729 >>328879803 >>328879914 >>328 >>328883515 >>328883596 >>328884325 >>328885545 >>328885606 >have lecture >walk in room >see pic related >faint artificial strawberry scent in the air >hot summer day >24 degrees in the room >walk up to front of the class >knees are weak, legs can hardly carry you >turn around to face the class >100 fertile, breeding age nord female faces >sweat leaking out of every part of your body >r----------- coming on >aint nothing stopping this bad boy What do?

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anon remembers his childhood | /r/Greentext

File: potato brains.jpg (14 KB, 180x179) O Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)13:31:11 No.18598203 >do d------ as a kid >keeps you up at night at age 30
File: potato brains.jpg (14 KB, 180x179) O Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)13:31:11 No.18598203 >do d------ as a kid >keeps you up at night at age 30

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Anon is a furfag | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/30/17(Thu)22:49:21 No.752568030 >wake up, eat cereal >get dressed, go to school >endure classes, talk with classmates >even get a 10 on a test >come home >log onto discord, start talking with ppl >i go afk to get something >can't find it anywhere >mom calls me downstairs to ask what „this" is >i come to see what this normie is reffering to as „this" >i see what i was looking for >get it, go back upstairs >equip the fursuit i was looking for >start video chatting to my furriends again whilst casually browsing e621 >tfw mom asks why $2500 is missing from her credit card >tfw still can't find buttplug tail >tfw eljen
: Anonymous 11/30/17(Thu)22:49:21 No.752568030 >wake up, eat cereal >get dressed, go to school >endure classes, talk with classmates >even get a 10 on a test >come home >log onto discord, start talking with ppl >i go afk to get something >can't find it anywhere >mom calls me downstairs to ask what „this" is >i come to see what this normie is reffering to as „this" >i see what i was looking for >get it, go back upstairs >equip the fursuit i was looking for >start video chatting to my furriends again whilst casually browsing e621 >tfw mom asks why $2500 is missing from her credit card >tfw still can't find buttplug tail >tfw eljen

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Anon was a bit sleepy | /r/Greentext


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Anon is smart | /r/Greentext

File: images (4).jpg (9 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)20:48:30 No.858415929 >Be me, can solve 4chan's new captcha >Be you, can't solve 4chan's new captcha >Why live?
File: images (4).jpg (9 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)20:48:30 No.858415929 >Be me, can solve 4chan's new captcha >Be you, can't solve 4chan's new captcha >Why live?

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Anon reads Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)05:36:59 No.177928 >highly skilled and renowned witch >prodigy wizard who managed to become an animagus at the age of 13 > members of Dumbledore's original Order of the Phoenix >don't apparate away with their son when a serial killer knocks down the door >James literally sacrificed himself to save time thanks, Rowling, you hack
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)05:36:59 No.177928 >highly skilled and renowned witch >prodigy wizard who managed to become an animagus at the age of 13 > members of Dumbledore's original Order of the Phoenix >don't apparate away with their son when a serial killer knocks down the door >James literally sacrificed himself to save time thanks, Rowling, you hack

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