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Anon needs a trip | /r/Greentext

File: Intelgensmrtman.png (5 KB, 220x229) O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:18:48 No.858654876 >wan go diney wurl? O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:23:45 No.858655046 File: Drulman.png (4 KB, 231x218) flawda? Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:26:27 No.858655138 File: Dremman.png (5 KB, 226x223) orthando O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:31:14 No.858655329 File: FloridaMan.png (659 KB, 990x1261) Wan c-- flawda?
File: Intelgensmrtman.png (5 KB, 220x229) O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:18:48 No.858654876 >wan go diney wurl? O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:23:45 No.858655046 File: Drulman.png (4 KB, 231x218) flawda? Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:26:27 No.858655138 File: Dremman.png (5 KB, 226x223) orthando O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:31:14 No.858655329 File: FloridaMan.png (659 KB, 990x1261) Wan c-- flawda?

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Anon is a Redditor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: XKa6xbyD ) - 01/09/21(Sat)01:40:35 No.301405702 >>301404743 (OP) # >why yes, i spend 20% of my allowance on reddit gold awards to let people know that they did a goodthink 8 KB PNG >>301406177 #
: Anonymous (ID: XKa6xbyD ) - 01/09/21(Sat)01:40:35 No.301405702 >>301404743 (OP) # >why yes, i spend 20% of my allowance on reddit gold awards to let people know that they did a goodthink 8 KB PNG >>301406177 #

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Anon escapes appetizer time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 98W9MSDR Did I do the right thing /pol/(...) 07/09/21(Fri)01:45:55 No.329270502 >5 year anniversary with wife >she wants to go out to someplace special >end up going to fancy NYC restaurant >enter and sit down with her 286 KB PNG >receive menu a few minutes later >appetizer time >OH F--- >realize what is happening >start sweating >heart spounding >stand up and sprint out of there >get in car, start driving >haven't seen or spoken to her in 2 years
: Anonymous (ID: 98W9MSDR Did I do the right thing /pol/(...) 07/09/21(Fri)01:45:55 No.329270502 >5 year anniversary with wife >she wants to go out to someplace special >end up going to fancy NYC restaurant >enter and sit down with her 286 KB PNG >receive menu a few minutes later >appetizer time >OH F--- >realize what is happening >start sweating >heart spounding >stand up and sprint out of there >get in car, start driving >haven't seen or spoken to her in 2 years

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Anon realizes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)00:26:14 No.858643191 >a /b/ user Time: "exists* Every human: >a b user >abuser 54 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)00:26:14 No.858643191 >a /b/ user Time: "exists* Every human: >a b user >abuser 54 KB JPG

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Anon has a best friend | /r/Greentext

happened yesterday night Im typing in my room i haven't gotten out yet >be me >20 216 KB GIF >university student >have a best friend >met last year, share a lot of subjets >naturally spend lots of time with him >we have a friend group but we mostly stick together >friends joke about us being gay >we don't feel insecure and laugh with them >get called twinks regularly by year two >eventually start to do these jokes myself bc my friend is kinda cute >summer break closing in >his parents rich >big house in the mountains >they go on a vacation when break starts, leaving him alone >he knows my relationship with my parents is f-----, invites me over for summer, like last year >instantly accept >having a great time, we hike, laze around, play games >one day we get home completely beat >decide to throw ourselves a small party >grab some drinks >actually get wasted on some fancy s--- >my drunk ass makes more gay jokes >say we look like boyfriends living together >friend laughs and says he's going to make things gayer >he leaves to his room >comes back a minute later, in an oversized shirt, booty shorts and thigh high socks >severely drunk at this point but it clicks >he's been gay the entire time >never had a girlfriend >probably took my jokes for flirting >he is completely drunk and self unaware >sits on my lap >ohgodohfuck
happened yesterday night Im typing in my room i haven't gotten out yet >be me >20 216 KB GIF >university student >have a best friend >met last year, share a lot of subjets >naturally spend lots of time with him >we have a friend group but we mostly stick together >friends joke about us being gay >we don't feel insecure and laugh with them >get called twinks regularly by year two >eventually start to do these jokes myself bc my friend is kinda cute >summer break closing in >his parents rich >big house in the mountains >they go on a vacation when break starts, leaving him alone >he knows my relationship with my parents is f-----, invites me over for summer, like last year >instantly accept >having a great time, we hike, laze around, play games >one day we get home completely beat >decide to throw ourselves a small party >grab some drinks >actually get wasted on some fancy s--- >my drunk ass makes more gay jokes >say we look like boyfriends living together >friend laughs and says he's going to make things gayer >he leaves to his room >comes back a minute later, in an oversized shirt, booty shorts and thigh high socks >severely drunk at this point but it clicks >he's been gay the entire time >never had a girlfriend >probably took my jokes for flirting >he is completely drunk and self unaware >sits on my lap >ohgodohfuck

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Anon works at a shop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/20(Mon)19:46:16 No.60244419 >Be me >16 >Having a part time job at a local supermarket >Emo girl pulls up to the check out I'm at with a normal load of groceries 1024 KB JPG >Notice the cuts on her arm >Get my scanner gun and scan her arm >Manager sees this and I immediately get fired
: Anonymous 09/28/20(Mon)19:46:16 No.60244419 >Be me >16 >Having a part time job at a local supermarket >Emo girl pulls up to the check out I'm at with a normal load of groceries 1024 KB JPG >Notice the cuts on her arm >Get my scanner gun and scan her arm >Manager sees this and I immediately get fired

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Anon reveals his fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)03:55:48 No.64494173 >am an architect >download a game called Feeder Fantasy >play it for around an hour >suddenly, I get a ping in the chat >"ayo, anon's playing some fat p--- 338 KB JPG game!" >Discord displayed what game I was playing >now all my friends know I'm into fat chicks and won't stop teasing me
: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)03:55:48 No.64494173 >am an architect >download a game called Feeder Fantasy >play it for around an hour >suddenly, I get a ping in the chat >"ayo, anon's playing some fat p--- 338 KB JPG game!" >Discord displayed what game I was playing >now all my friends know I'm into fat chicks and won't stop teasing me

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Meant to upload on daddy's day | /r/Greentext

File: image png (6 KB, 390x470) Anonymous 06/20/16(Mon)00:50:59 No.690545737 (Reply) >>690553698 >>690553718 >>690553986 >Be me >17 >Browsing that s----- app whisper >See post in my area about being alone and msg OP >turns out to be cute 16 yr old gril, 8/10 >never had boyfriend or sex and kinda desperate >we hit it off and i get her snap Fast forward 2 weeks of back and forth texting >she wants to meet up and get lunch >say f--- it >drive to the mall where were gonna meet up >shes standing infront of a clothes store wearing booty shorts and a tanktop to show off t--- >d--- changes 8/10 to 9/10 >we chat and get food at in-n-out cuz both poorfag >shes really cool in person and damn sexy >we get bored and she asks to go back to my place >parents arent home so hell yeah >thinking im gonna get lucky first time i meet her >we get to my place and she immediately gets all over me >she asks if i have any fetishes or s--- like that >"uh no nothing really why" >shes into ddig >shitnigger.jpg >dunno how to act like a daddy but roll with it >its getting intense and we start to bang >im hitting it from tge back and she yells S"UGH DADDY IM CUMMINGI" >"hi c------ im dad" >she stops >looks at me with disgust >starts putting on clothes with s--- angry expression >leaves and never texts me again >mfw >totally worth it, curing ddlg fetishes one at a time Happy fathers day /b/
File: image png (6 KB, 390x470) Anonymous 06/20/16(Mon)00:50:59 No.690545737 (Reply) >>690553698 >>690553718 >>690553986 >Be me >17 >Browsing that s----- app whisper >See post in my area about being alone and msg OP >turns out to be cute 16 yr old gril, 8/10 >never had boyfriend or sex and kinda desperate >we hit it off and i get her snap Fast forward 2 weeks of back and forth texting >she wants to meet up and get lunch >say f--- it >drive to the mall where were gonna meet up >shes standing infront of a clothes store wearing booty shorts and a tanktop to show off t--- >d--- changes 8/10 to 9/10 >we chat and get food at in-n-out cuz both poorfag >shes really cool in person and damn sexy >we get bored and she asks to go back to my place >parents arent home so hell yeah >thinking im gonna get lucky first time i meet her >we get to my place and she immediately gets all over me >she asks if i have any fetishes or s--- like that >"uh no nothing really why" >shes into ddig >shitnigger.jpg >dunno how to act like a daddy but roll with it >its getting intense and we start to bang >im hitting it from tge back and she yells S"UGH DADDY IM CUMMINGI" >"hi c------ im dad" >she stops >looks at me with disgust >starts putting on clothes with s--- angry expression >leaves and never texts me again >mfw >totally worth it, curing ddlg fetishes one at a time Happy fathers day /b/

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Anon thinks that litteral gay porn isn't gay. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/21(Wed)22:32:00 No.2584151 >>2583381 # >l swear the people pretending to care about the "age" of drawings being adults are the real pedos Just like how people who think yaoi is gay are the real gays : Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)01:37:33 No.2584196 >>2583230 (OP) # >no underage characters >posts a character that's canonically like 13 >"no she's depicted as 18 here!!" >exactly the same hairstyle, clothes, and accessories as her 13 year old self yes I too have zero changes in anything except slight body proportions over a 5+ year span of time. The "they're depicted as 18+" crap is just used so R34 artists don't get banned on twitter. You're wanking to an underage girl, end of story. >>2584234 #
: Anonymous 07/07/21(Wed)22:32:00 No.2584151 >>2583381 # >l swear the people pretending to care about the "age" of drawings being adults are the real pedos Just like how people who think yaoi is gay are the real gays : Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)01:37:33 No.2584196 >>2583230 (OP) # >no underage characters >posts a character that's canonically like 13 >"no she's depicted as 18 here!!" >exactly the same hairstyle, clothes, and accessories as her 13 year old self yes I too have zero changes in anything except slight body proportions over a 5+ year span of time. The "they're depicted as 18+" crap is just used so R34 artists don't get banned on twitter. You're wanking to an underage girl, end of story. >>2584234 #

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Grand opening | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)16:01:19 No.64492511 >live in the south >no success on tinder or bumble >try hinge >swiping through women >start to notice theyre all consistently larger than girls on 298 KB PNG tinder >like, very consistently >start counting the number of fat women in a row (ie any girl with a visibly fatter face) >9 in a row first try >then 8 >3 >suddenly start going through a ton >break 20 >break 40 >hinge is actually struggling under the weight of the load of these profiles >break 50 >have actually swiped past fifty f------ obeasts in a solid row without a single slim girl >55... >56... >57.... >58.. . >59. . >combo broken at 60 >59 f------ fat as s--- southern women in a solid row, one after the other holy f------ s--- get me out of this state NOW
: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)16:01:19 No.64492511 >live in the south >no success on tinder or bumble >try hinge >swiping through women >start to notice theyre all consistently larger than girls on 298 KB PNG tinder >like, very consistently >start counting the number of fat women in a row (ie any girl with a visibly fatter face) >9 in a row first try >then 8 >3 >suddenly start going through a ton >break 20 >break 40 >hinge is actually struggling under the weight of the load of these profiles >break 50 >have actually swiped past fifty f------ obeasts in a solid row without a single slim girl >55... >56... >57.... >58.. . >59. . >combo broken at 60 >59 f------ fat as s--- southern women in a solid row, one after the other holy f------ s--- get me out of this state NOW

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Anon loses at life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)21:56:37 No.853113093 >be me >born virgin It was rigged from the start 1.46 MB PNG 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)21:56:37 No.853113093 >be me >born virgin It was rigged from the start 1.46 MB PNG 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon has a new tinder strategy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous bang girls easily using ASTROL(...) 07/09/21(Fri)04:27:09 No.64494457 >be me >find an older girl as a platonic friend >she correctly guesses my sign and makes my chart >l'm a Scorpio "Sun" >I find out there's a fascination with 68 KB JPG Scorpio males between these astrology girls >Turns out l'm also a Scorpio "Venus" which makes you "magnetic" >put my birthday and/or my sign on my dating profile >easy matches and a few hookups easily >Scorpios are "mysterious" and dark so you can get away with being a mentalcel because it's "scorpio" >everything you say is because "you're a scorpio" EZ GAME just lie about being a Scorpio if you're not one, they love it, some message saying "I just wanna date a Scorpio once" etc..
: Anonymous bang girls easily using ASTROL(...) 07/09/21(Fri)04:27:09 No.64494457 >be me >find an older girl as a platonic friend >she correctly guesses my sign and makes my chart >l'm a Scorpio "Sun" >I find out there's a fascination with 68 KB JPG Scorpio males between these astrology girls >Turns out l'm also a Scorpio "Venus" which makes you "magnetic" >put my birthday and/or my sign on my dating profile >easy matches and a few hookups easily >Scorpios are "mysterious" and dark so you can get away with being a mentalcel because it's "scorpio" >everything you say is because "you're a scorpio" EZ GAME just lie about being a Scorpio if you're not one, they love it, some message saying "I just wanna date a Scorpio once" etc..

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Anon makes a healthy life decision | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)00:07:35 No.858642190 >be me >watching p--- >about to nut >come to a realization instead of to the men on screen >"I'm watching two people have 452 KB PNG sex" >im a cuck >quit p--- forever >No longer a cuck Too easy, ro/b/ots 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)00:10:45 No.858642367 >the men on screen based 13 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)00:07:35 No.858642190 >be me >watching p--- >about to nut >come to a realization instead of to the men on screen >"I'm watching two people have 452 KB PNG sex" >im a cuck >quit p--- forever >No longer a cuck Too easy, ro/b/ots 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)00:10:45 No.858642367 >the men on screen based 13 KB JPG

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Anon goes hiking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)01:52:50 No.62492809 >wake up >feelin kinda depressed >google highest point in my county >mt. whatever >drive 45mins to some trailhead >hike 3 hours to summit 6 KB JPG >it's pretty cool. pretty windy tho >get back to my car as it's getting dark >chug hot Monster Zero Ultra that's been sitting in my center console all day >m,mmm sippy sipp >drive home feeling somewhat less depressed 7/10 it was ok 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)01:52:50 No.62492809 >wake up >feelin kinda depressed >google highest point in my county >mt. whatever >drive 45mins to some trailhead >hike 3 hours to summit 6 KB JPG >it's pretty cool. pretty windy tho >get back to my car as it's getting dark >chug hot Monster Zero Ultra that's been sitting in my center console all day >m,mmm sippy sipp >drive home feeling somewhat less depressed 7/10 it was ok 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon did nothing wrong | /r/Greentext

>Be me sick & depressed loser >Play among us >Name myself "Der Führer" >shitsandgiggles.jpeg >Go to Euro f-- servers >Join game 11 KB GIF >Players see name >Everyone says "heil hitler" >mfw when playing with actual nazis >Random f-- calls me sus >Everyone votes him out >Everyone says "heil" >Thirdreich.mp4 >Emergency meetings left and right >Purging un loyal players >Players say "what do you think my führer" >"Take him to ze camp" >mfw when l'm actually important in life >Players say "heil" every meeting >No heil = sus >Horrified I turned game into nazi germany >shitmypants.zip >Imposter sent to camp >Game finishes >Decide that's enough games >Become cured >No longer sick & depressed
>Be me sick & depressed loser >Play among us >Name myself "Der Führer" >shitsandgiggles.jpeg >Go to Euro f-- servers >Join game 11 KB GIF >Players see name >Everyone says "heil hitler" >mfw when playing with actual nazis >Random f-- calls me sus >Everyone votes him out >Everyone says "heil" >Thirdreich.mp4 >Emergency meetings left and right >Purging un loyal players >Players say "what do you think my führer" >"Take him to ze camp" >mfw when l'm actually important in life >Players say "heil" every meeting >No heil = sus >Horrified I turned game into nazi germany >shitmypants.zip >Imposter sent to camp >Game finishes >Decide that's enough games >Become cured >No longer sick & depressed

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El Minecraft | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [1 05/10/21(Mon)18:59:35 No.14468628 >be me in middle school >have brown skin and a rectangular shaped face >everyone calls me "El Minecraft" As a kid, did you suffer from bullying in your country too? 45 KB JPG
: Anonymous [1 05/10/21(Mon)18:59:35 No.14468628 >be me in middle school >have brown skin and a rectangular shaped face >everyone calls me "El Minecraft" As a kid, did you suffer from bullying in your country too? 45 KB JPG

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Anon meets a black person | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)22:48:15 No.858637960 >In summer football workouts when I was like 14 ING OF THE BLACK PEOPLEN >Didn't really know anyone and had like 3 friends there >One guy there looked exactly like a gorilla 31 KB JPG >Not even f------ kidding, like not in a racist way but his face, fatness, and haircut made him look exactly like f----- harambe >Try to bench 115 and can't because I was weak af at the time >Gorilla guy quietly laughs >Can't suppress my autism >"Shut the f--- up James at least I don't look like a ducking gorilla" >Realize that I, a skinny white guy with hardly any friends just said something racist to one of the more popular guys there >Oh s--- >He starts laughing his ass off and repeating what I said to all his friends >Ended up becoming pretty good friends with him and all the black guys thought I was funny af >He was pretty much my gateway to getting to know every guy on the team >Mfw I was popular in high school because I said a black guy looked like a monkey
: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)22:48:15 No.858637960 >In summer football workouts when I was like 14 ING OF THE BLACK PEOPLEN >Didn't really know anyone and had like 3 friends there >One guy there looked exactly like a gorilla 31 KB JPG >Not even f------ kidding, like not in a racist way but his face, fatness, and haircut made him look exactly like f----- harambe >Try to bench 115 and can't because I was weak af at the time >Gorilla guy quietly laughs >Can't suppress my autism >"Shut the f--- up James at least I don't look like a ducking gorilla" >Realize that I, a skinny white guy with hardly any friends just said something racist to one of the more popular guys there >Oh s--- >He starts laughing his ass off and repeating what I said to all his friends >Ended up becoming pretty good friends with him and all the black guys thought I was funny af >He was pretty much my gateway to getting to know every guy on the team >Mfw I was popular in high school because I said a black guy looked like a monkey

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Anon works at Netflix | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)17:57:25 No.858623392 >be me >corporate exec for Netflix >June 2021 >all the boys want to make some show to get money from the gays >make a show about gay spies or -Hey, Twink! -Oh, hey, girl! 279 KB JPG some s--- >no one actually cares about this show >all the characters are based on stereotypes of gay people >make all the trans characters have super broad shoulders and make them look very manly >call main character "Twink" just for giggles >kek.jpeg >post trailer on Twitter >all the f--- are retweeting this s--- and giving the show more publicity >show comes out and everyone is hate watching this s--- >>profit >see you later commies
: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)17:57:25 No.858623392 >be me >corporate exec for Netflix >June 2021 >all the boys want to make some show to get money from the gays >make a show about gay spies or -Hey, Twink! -Oh, hey, girl! 279 KB JPG some s--- >no one actually cares about this show >all the characters are based on stereotypes of gay people >make all the trans characters have super broad shoulders and make them look very manly >call main character "Twink" just for giggles >kek.jpeg >post trailer on Twitter >all the f--- are retweeting this s--- and giving the show more publicity >show comes out and everyone is hate watching this s--- >>profit >see you later commies

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Anon breeds frogs in his balls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)22:44:46 No.64489070 >be me >depressed because no gf >stopped masturbating because of chaffed d--- >horny and lonely >tadpoles start swimming against the walls of my balls >pleasant tingle makes me feel 15 KB JPG better Bros how can sperm be so based?
: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)22:44:46 No.64489070 >be me >depressed because no gf >stopped masturbating because of chaffed d--- >horny and lonely >tadpoles start swimming against the walls of my balls >pleasant tingle makes me feel 15 KB JPG better Bros how can sperm be so based?

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Do a barrel roll | /r/Greentext

6:53 boards.4chan.org - - Private /s4s/-S--- 4Chan Says View Announcement : Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)18:41:37 No.858625746 >be me >Browsing p--- >Discover furries 100 >hate them >They make good p--- tho >Looking up my busty faceless robot /D/ 10 KB JPG s--- >find aeromorphs >Big toddy planes >D--- is absolutely f------ diamonds >C-- a hole through a wall >Check everyday for new content >Fav artists has military fetish >manifests into a near extremist distain for North Korea, Russia, and China >Pavlov'd into having a sexual attraction to US Air Superiority >join Airforce for unrelated circumstances, sell soul to Uncle Sam for paycheck >Keep getting massive erections when ever the C17s do low flyovers during formation >Graduate >Aircraft maintenance >Oh no >Feel dirty whenever I go under or inside the planes to work on them >nearly cream myself when the fighters come through my base >I think I got PsyOp'd into joining the Airforce by my own uncontrollable lust for aircraft >Can't tell anyone about it in therapy Please dear god help me anons. I can't contain my primal urge to f--- planes. I'm not even f------ joking. This is a plea for help.
6:53 boards.4chan.org - - Private /s4s/-S--- 4Chan Says View Announcement : Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)18:41:37 No.858625746 >be me >Browsing p--- >Discover furries 100 >hate them >They make good p--- tho >Looking up my busty faceless robot /D/ 10 KB JPG s--- >find aeromorphs >Big toddy planes >D--- is absolutely f------ diamonds >C-- a hole through a wall >Check everyday for new content >Fav artists has military fetish >manifests into a near extremist distain for North Korea, Russia, and China >Pavlov'd into having a sexual attraction to US Air Superiority >join Airforce for unrelated circumstances, sell soul to Uncle Sam for paycheck >Keep getting massive erections when ever the C17s do low flyovers during formation >Graduate >Aircraft maintenance >Oh no >Feel dirty whenever I go under or inside the planes to work on them >nearly cream myself when the fighters come through my base >I think I got PsyOp'd into joining the Airforce by my own uncontrollable lust for aircraft >Can't tell anyone about it in therapy Please dear god help me anons. I can't contain my primal urge to f--- planes. I'm not even f------ joking. This is a plea for help.

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