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Anon asks the real questions | /r/Greentext

File: boys-minecraft-steve-delu(...).jpg (227 KB, 1750x2500) O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)18:36:38 No.858686548 ► >have no friends >no family >lives alone >doesn't drive >doesn't know what love is >doesn't have sex >eats off the land >builds everything he needs >grows wheat >inbreeds farm animals for food >looks for shiny rocks >world trying to kill him >makes his own drugs in a cauldron >wears the same thing every day Is Steve based?
File: boys-minecraft-steve-delu(...).jpg (227 KB, 1750x2500) O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)18:36:38 No.858686548 ► >have no friends >no family >lives alone >doesn't drive >doesn't know what love is >doesn't have sex >eats off the land >builds everything he needs >grows wheat >inbreeds farm animals for food >looks for shiny rocks >world trying to kill him >makes his own drugs in a cauldron >wears the same thing every day Is Steve based?

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Based Bernd | /r/Greentext


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Happy birthday Anon. | /r/Greentext

07/09/21(Fri)19:36:55 No.64507277 : Anonymous Reume or 20210709_210433.jpg 1.82 MB JPG >Was going to kill myself today >Parents get me this cake for my birthday >Going to kill myself tomorrow
07/09/21(Fri)19:36:55 No.64507277 : Anonymous Reume or 20210709_210433.jpg 1.82 MB JPG >Was going to kill myself today >Parents get me this cake for my birthday >Going to kill myself tomorrow

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Anon didn’t know | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)14:09:46 No.858673600 >hear about 4chan greentexts on /b/ >decide to go on /b/ for some funny stories >it's all loli hentai >it's all loli hentai 76 KB PNG
: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)14:09:46 No.858673600 >hear about 4chan greentexts on /b/ >decide to go on /b/ for some funny stories >it's all loli hentai >it's all loli hentai 76 KB PNG

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Anon’s brain does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)13:08:36 No.6415813 >be brain >chilling in some dude's head >he fell asleep wait check this out >AYO WE'RE FALLING BRO >jumpscare.exe >Imao go back to sleep dumbass 52 KB JPG
Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)13:08:36 No.6415813 >be brain >chilling in some dude's head >he fell asleep wait check this out >AYO WE'RE FALLING BRO >jumpscare.exe >Imao go back to sleep dumbass 52 KB JPG

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Anon thinks.. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:47:00 No.61759721 >Girls have milk in their boobs >They're walking around with MILK in their bouncy soft boobies 167 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:49:20 No.61759773 >they won't let you have any Truly a clown world.
: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:47:00 No.61759721 >Girls have milk in their boobs >They're walking around with MILK in their bouncy soft boobies 167 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:49:20 No.61759773 >they won't let you have any Truly a clown world.

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Anon has a home intruder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)12:01:52 No.858614355 >be me e >buy 1780s cannon used in the revolutionary war >buy the s--- to use it too >burglar breaks into home >cannon already loaded for this 96 KB PNG moment >fires cannon, hitting them point blank >blood covers the walls >you cant even tell there was a person >cannon ball continues through what used to be the burglar >hits my neighbors house and his neighbors too Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)12:01:52 No.858614355 >be me e >buy 1780s cannon used in the revolutionary war >buy the s--- to use it too >burglar breaks into home >cannon already loaded for this 96 KB PNG moment >fires cannon, hitting them point blank >blood covers the walls >you cant even tell there was a person >cannon ball continues through what used to be the burglar >hits my neighbors house and his neighbors too Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 4 Replies View Thread

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We live in a clownciety. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)09:45:56 No.855977512 >We live in a society where f------ are tolerated and they are given a month were there flamboyant and deviant behavior is condoned. >Meanwhile gamers, the most oppressed class, aren't celebrated 9 KB JPG once. >Truly a clown world 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)09:47:17 No.855977564 >le reddit clown world 211 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)09:45:56 No.855977512 >We live in a society where f------ are tolerated and they are given a month were there flamboyant and deviant behavior is condoned. >Meanwhile gamers, the most oppressed class, aren't celebrated 9 KB JPG once. >Truly a clown world 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)09:47:17 No.855977564 >le reddit clown world 211 KB JPG

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anon have to burp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/26/19(Sat)19:58:06 No.791020382 >Be 18 >be me being retard >have to burp really loudly >close to 19 year old sisters room >walk in burp really loudly >w-- anon 8 KB JPG >*leave >realize I can burp loud on command >walk back in with a lot of burp air in lungs >small burp followed by a lot of throw up >l ate a chicken pot pie 10 min prior >throw up all over carpet >sister told parents what happened >its been a week and parents still won't look me in the eyes >I think it asserted my dominance in the house, but I still want attention from family >wat do
: Anonymous 01/26/19(Sat)19:58:06 No.791020382 >Be 18 >be me being retard >have to burp really loudly >close to 19 year old sisters room >walk in burp really loudly >w-- anon 8 KB JPG >*leave >realize I can burp loud on command >walk back in with a lot of burp air in lungs >small burp followed by a lot of throw up >l ate a chicken pot pie 10 min prior >throw up all over carpet >sister told parents what happened >its been a week and parents still won't look me in the eyes >I think it asserted my dominance in the house, but I still want attention from family >wat do

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Anon has hit the wall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IgtosoVU ) 07/02/21(Fri)09:09:01 No.328403419 >Early 20's >Looked like a young teenager. >Very very skinny, thigh gap, trendy anime haircut, etc. >MILFS and young alternative girls find me cute >30 hits >That all stops >Just mega fatties around last call, or "enbies" thinking I have weed or they can cuck me. Yeah, nah.
: Anonymous (ID: IgtosoVU ) 07/02/21(Fri)09:09:01 No.328403419 >Early 20's >Looked like a young teenager. >Very very skinny, thigh gap, trendy anime haircut, etc. >MILFS and young alternative girls find me cute >30 hits >That all stops >Just mega fatties around last call, or "enbies" thinking I have weed or they can cuck me. Yeah, nah.

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Anon listens to music | /r/Greentext

39m (7/9 23:57) · 104696654 5 Re · 3 Img · JPG · 5KB · (201 × 251) 3 Replies >best part of the song is a short outro fading out
39m (7/9 23:57) · 104696654 5 Re · 3 Img · JPG · 5KB · (201 × 251) 3 Replies >best part of the song is a short outro fading out

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Anon debunks microwaves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)12:04:48 No.849177823 >no fire >spinning plate (???) 107 KB JPG >hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm >beep beep beep beep >food is hot just imagine believing in microwave 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)12:04:48 No.849177823 >no fire >spinning plate (???) 107 KB JPG >hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm >beep beep beep beep >food is hot just imagine believing in microwave 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon was a pretty boy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)03:17:19 No.64496348 DAYS WITHOUT SUICIDAL THOUGHTS 3:28 1625764451734.png 511 KB PNG >was a pretty boy in college and high school >women used to mire me every time i went out >but had anxiety and ended up talking to not a single girl >now virgin at 27 >girls stopped checking me out at 24 View Thread 4 Replies
: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)03:17:19 No.64496348 DAYS WITHOUT SUICIDAL THOUGHTS 3:28 1625764451734.png 511 KB PNG >was a pretty boy in college and high school >women used to mire me every time i went out >but had anxiety and ended up talking to not a single girl >now virgin at 27 >girls stopped checking me out at 24 View Thread 4 Replies

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Who wears short shorts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)07:59:50 No.62111403 Do you give a f--- about how others see you, /fit/? I'm: >30 years old >dad bod 53 KB JPG >learning to swim at the gym in 1on1 sessions currently >swim shorts are far too small since i had them for 10 years >scare away all the kids and others from the lane i'm in >balding >don't give a f--- and still show up daily for gains
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)07:59:50 No.62111403 Do you give a f--- about how others see you, /fit/? I'm: >30 years old >dad bod 53 KB JPG >learning to swim at the gym in 1on1 sessions currently >swim shorts are far too small since i had them for 10 years >scare away all the kids and others from the lane i'm in >balding >don't give a f--- and still show up daily for gains

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What's with Europeans not buying AC? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: w/5kNNIq AGGHHH GLOBAL WARMING WE'RE AL(...) 07/07/21(Wed)04:50:35 No.329029647 Source: Weather reports, French authorities THE WASHINGTON POST In much of Europe, air conditioning has been seen as a luxury, and even a U.S.-style indulgence. Fewer than 5 percent of European households have air conditioning, compared with 90 percent in the United States. But that may change as episodes of punishing heat become the new normal. Europoor Air Conditioning.png 43 KB PNG Oh wait it is just Europoors stuck in the 19th century. : Anonymous (ID: dBAksjU ) 07/07/21(Wed)04:58:44 No.329030438 >>329029647(OP)_# >Fewer than 5% What the actual f---? >>329030601 # >>329031467 # >>329032443 # >>329032714 # >>329039629 # : Anonymous (ID: XznSztaY 07/07/21 (Wed)07:24:47 No.329043904 >The 2003 European heat wave led to the hottest summer on record in Europe since at least 1540.[2] France was hit especially hard. The heat wave led to health crises in several countries and 75 KB JPG combined with drought to create a crop shortfall in parts of Southern Europe. Peer- reviewed analysis places the European death toll at more than 70,000.[3] yuropoors would rather die than spend $500 on a f------ AC >>329044898 #
: Anonymous (ID: w/5kNNIq AGGHHH GLOBAL WARMING WE'RE AL(...) 07/07/21(Wed)04:50:35 No.329029647 Source: Weather reports, French authorities THE WASHINGTON POST In much of Europe, air conditioning has been seen as a luxury, and even a U.S.-style indulgence. Fewer than 5 percent of European households have air conditioning, compared with 90 percent in the United States. But that may change as episodes of punishing heat become the new normal. Europoor Air Conditioning.png 43 KB PNG Oh wait it is just Europoors stuck in the 19th century. : Anonymous (ID: dBAksjU ) 07/07/21(Wed)04:58:44 No.329030438 >>329029647(OP)_# >Fewer than 5% What the actual f---? >>329030601 # >>329031467 # >>329032443 # >>329032714 # >>329039629 # : Anonymous (ID: XznSztaY 07/07/21 (Wed)07:24:47 No.329043904 >The 2003 European heat wave led to the hottest summer on record in Europe since at least 1540.[2] France was hit especially hard. The heat wave led to health crises in several countries and 75 KB JPG combined with drought to create a crop shortfall in parts of Southern Europe. Peer- reviewed analysis places the European death toll at more than 70,000.[3] yuropoors would rather die than spend $500 on a f------ AC >>329044898 #

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I don’t know why you say goodbye | /r/Greentext

File: 7301-full.jpg (10 KB, 274x274) Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)07:10:06 No.858663954 [Reply] >be me >taking a s--- at a gas station >alone >suddenly hear someone enter >walks directly to my stall and starts knocking on the door >"hehehe hello" >w-- >voice is kinda high pitched and super nasally >"it's occupied man" >mfw when there's two other empty stalls right next to me >"hehehe HELLO" >knocking has turned into banging >angry and kinda scared >turd hasn't dropped yet, I might have to fight for my life with a log between my cheeks >"BRO IM S------- HERE" >"HEEEE HEEE HEELLOOOOO" >f--- this >pull my pants, turd squishes into my ass crack >take out my pocket knife >mfw the guy bolts out before I can open stall door >mfw when I'm standing here with a knife and hot s--- slowly dripping its way to my balls which one of you did this ? i just want to talk. also bathroom stories
File: 7301-full.jpg (10 KB, 274x274) Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)07:10:06 No.858663954 [Reply] >be me >taking a s--- at a gas station >alone >suddenly hear someone enter >walks directly to my stall and starts knocking on the door >"hehehe hello" >w-- >voice is kinda high pitched and super nasally >"it's occupied man" >mfw when there's two other empty stalls right next to me >"hehehe HELLO" >knocking has turned into banging >angry and kinda scared >turd hasn't dropped yet, I might have to fight for my life with a log between my cheeks >"BRO IM S------- HERE" >"HEEEE HEEE HEELLOOOOO" >f--- this >pull my pants, turd squishes into my ass crack >take out my pocket knife >mfw the guy bolts out before I can open stall door >mfw when I'm standing here with a knife and hot s--- slowly dripping its way to my balls which one of you did this ? i just want to talk. also bathroom stories

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Anon asserts dominance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I f----- up 07/09/21(Fri)12:41:14 No.64497550 > be me, living in dorm > can't fall asleep due to butterflies > open my room's door into the bright corridor so that they fly out > fall asleep with the door open 29 KB JPG Next day > wake up > decide to coom > mid cooming some girl pops in and immediately leaves I'm starting nofap fellas. Wish me luck.
: Anonymous I f----- up 07/09/21(Fri)12:41:14 No.64497550 > be me, living in dorm > can't fall asleep due to butterflies > open my room's door into the bright corridor so that they fly out > fall asleep with the door open 29 KB JPG Next day > wake up > decide to coom > mid cooming some girl pops in and immediately leaves I'm starting nofap fellas. Wish me luck.

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anon is pokesexual | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)01:50:06 No.851325777 >be me >fapping to hardcore Indian piss hentai in my bedroom >about to c-- >dad decides it's a good time to barge in >"hey anon, did you-" >hurriedly switch tabs to a 186 KB PNG paused YouTube video with a mudkip on the screen >dad sees his son c-- to a mudkip on a 50" tv monitor >dad walks back out and closes the door >my dad now thinks I'm a pokésexual >mfw
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)01:50:06 No.851325777 >be me >fapping to hardcore Indian piss hentai in my bedroom >about to c-- >dad decides it's a good time to barge in >"hey anon, did you-" >hurriedly switch tabs to a 186 KB PNG paused YouTube video with a mudkip on the screen >dad sees his son c-- to a mudkip on a 50" tv monitor >dad walks back out and closes the door >my dad now thinks I'm a pokésexual >mfw

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Bonganon needs a wank | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 09/05/16(Mon)08:33:08 No.702652974 >be britbong >having tea and crumpets with me mum >start thinking of Muriel from work >would like to have a little in-out, in-out with her >" "scuse me mum, I..I need to have a go" >head over to the computation machine >it's off >slam it hard with me fist >"OI, TURN ON! I NEED A WANK" >it turns on >search for p--- >blocked >"bollocks" >run outside and find the nearest red phone booth >grab the tele and dial the p---------- administrator >"Ello? Her Majesty's P---------- Administration Centre. Who's this callin'?" >"Ello, I need a wank somethin' good!" >"Hol' on there, son. You need to give me your name and residence first." >"My name's Humphrey Throckwaddle II and I live at 3242 West Pennywood Lane" >"Alright then. And what type of p--- will you be wantin' today, Mr. Throckwaddle?" >"Cuckold, sir. Please hurry, me p----- is about ready to burst" >"Alright then, one moment please.and you are all set, sir. I have given your household 10 minutes of uninterrupted access to cuckold p---." >"Thank you sir! And God bless the Queen!" >"God bless her right! Cheerio!" >Race back home before the cuckold p--- time runs out >enter front door >blood is everywhere >go into kitchen >mum is dead >beheaded by muslims
O Anonymous 09/05/16(Mon)08:33:08 No.702652974 >be britbong >having tea and crumpets with me mum >start thinking of Muriel from work >would like to have a little in-out, in-out with her >" "scuse me mum, I..I need to have a go" >head over to the computation machine >it's off >slam it hard with me fist >"OI, TURN ON! I NEED A WANK" >it turns on >search for p--- >blocked >"bollocks" >run outside and find the nearest red phone booth >grab the tele and dial the p---------- administrator >"Ello? Her Majesty's P---------- Administration Centre. Who's this callin'?" >"Ello, I need a wank somethin' good!" >"Hol' on there, son. You need to give me your name and residence first." >"My name's Humphrey Throckwaddle II and I live at 3242 West Pennywood Lane" >"Alright then. And what type of p--- will you be wantin' today, Mr. Throckwaddle?" >"Cuckold, sir. Please hurry, me p----- is about ready to burst" >"Alright then, one moment please.and you are all set, sir. I have given your household 10 minutes of uninterrupted access to cuckold p---." >"Thank you sir! And God bless the Queen!" >"God bless her right! Cheerio!" >Race back home before the cuckold p--- time runs out >enter front door >blood is everywhere >go into kitchen >mum is dead >beheaded by muslims

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Anon Summarises The Joe Rogan Experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: X09XXPI 07/09/21(Fri)15:31:33 No.329330169 >>329330390 >>329330398 >>329330764 >>329331490 >>329331540 >>329331748 >>329332643 >>329336908 >>329337049 File: images - 2021-04-30T192555.700.jpg (17 KB, 480x360) >>329329430 (OP) >"The thing is. (Joe leans into the mic) fat isn't the problem. Carbs and sugar is the problem. Ever eat nuts man? Nuts are good for you." >Guest: "uh. Yeah I eat nuts. I used to pick peanuts back when I was a kid and they were in the season." >Joe: "Nice, nice. Like from a tree?" >Guest: "No, they grow in the ground." >(Joe nearly s---- himself in surprise) "What?" >(His guest try not to sound condescending) >Guest: Peanuts grow in the ground kind of like-- >Joe: "Jamie, Google this right now. Jamie Google peanuts growing in the ground. H--------." >Guest: "Yeah just like that. They grow in the ground like potatoes." >Joe: "Well. (Breaths heavily into the mic) That makes sense. They couldn't grow on trees because squirrels would f--- them up. Imagine that? Imagine how much squirrels would f--- up a peanut tree. Squirrels are basically tiny chimpanzees."
Anonymous (ID: X09XXPI 07/09/21(Fri)15:31:33 No.329330169 >>329330390 >>329330398 >>329330764 >>329331490 >>329331540 >>329331748 >>329332643 >>329336908 >>329337049 File: images - 2021-04-30T192555.700.jpg (17 KB, 480x360) >>329329430 (OP) >"The thing is. (Joe leans into the mic) fat isn't the problem. Carbs and sugar is the problem. Ever eat nuts man? Nuts are good for you." >Guest: "uh. Yeah I eat nuts. I used to pick peanuts back when I was a kid and they were in the season." >Joe: "Nice, nice. Like from a tree?" >Guest: "No, they grow in the ground." >(Joe nearly s---- himself in surprise) "What?" >(His guest try not to sound condescending) >Guest: Peanuts grow in the ground kind of like-- >Joe: "Jamie, Google this right now. Jamie Google peanuts growing in the ground. H--------." >Guest: "Yeah just like that. They grow in the ground like potatoes." >Joe: "Well. (Breaths heavily into the mic) That makes sense. They couldn't grow on trees because squirrels would f--- them up. Imagine that? Imagine how much squirrels would f--- up a peanut tree. Squirrels are basically tiny chimpanzees."

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