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We live in a clownciety. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)09:45:56 No.855977512 >We live in a society where f------ are tolerated and they are given a month were there flamboyant and deviant behavior is condoned. >Meanwhile gamers, the most oppressed class, aren't celebrated 9 KB JPG once. >Truly a clown world 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)09:47:17 No.855977564 >le reddit clown world 211 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)09:45:56 No.855977512 >We live in a society where f------ are tolerated and they are given a month were there flamboyant and deviant behavior is condoned. >Meanwhile gamers, the most oppressed class, aren't celebrated 9 KB JPG once. >Truly a clown world 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)09:47:17 No.855977564 >le reddit clown world 211 KB JPG

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anon have to burp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/26/19(Sat)19:58:06 No.791020382 >Be 18 >be me being retard >have to burp really loudly >close to 19 year old sisters room >walk in burp really loudly >w-- anon 8 KB JPG >*leave >realize I can burp loud on command >walk back in with a lot of burp air in lungs >small burp followed by a lot of throw up >l ate a chicken pot pie 10 min prior >throw up all over carpet >sister told parents what happened >its been a week and parents still won't look me in the eyes >I think it asserted my dominance in the house, but I still want attention from family >wat do
: Anonymous 01/26/19(Sat)19:58:06 No.791020382 >Be 18 >be me being retard >have to burp really loudly >close to 19 year old sisters room >walk in burp really loudly >w-- anon 8 KB JPG >*leave >realize I can burp loud on command >walk back in with a lot of burp air in lungs >small burp followed by a lot of throw up >l ate a chicken pot pie 10 min prior >throw up all over carpet >sister told parents what happened >its been a week and parents still won't look me in the eyes >I think it asserted my dominance in the house, but I still want attention from family >wat do

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Anon has hit the wall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IgtosoVU ) 07/02/21(Fri)09:09:01 No.328403419 >Early 20's >Looked like a young teenager. >Very very skinny, thigh gap, trendy anime haircut, etc. >MILFS and young alternative girls find me cute >30 hits >That all stops >Just mega fatties around last call, or "enbies" thinking I have weed or they can cuck me. Yeah, nah.
: Anonymous (ID: IgtosoVU ) 07/02/21(Fri)09:09:01 No.328403419 >Early 20's >Looked like a young teenager. >Very very skinny, thigh gap, trendy anime haircut, etc. >MILFS and young alternative girls find me cute >30 hits >That all stops >Just mega fatties around last call, or "enbies" thinking I have weed or they can cuck me. Yeah, nah.

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Anon listens to music | /r/Greentext

39m (7/9 23:57) · 104696654 5 Re · 3 Img · JPG · 5KB · (201 × 251) 3 Replies >best part of the song is a short outro fading out
39m (7/9 23:57) · 104696654 5 Re · 3 Img · JPG · 5KB · (201 × 251) 3 Replies >best part of the song is a short outro fading out

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Anon debunks microwaves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)12:04:48 No.849177823 >no fire >spinning plate (???) 107 KB JPG >hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm >beep beep beep beep >food is hot just imagine believing in microwave 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)12:04:48 No.849177823 >no fire >spinning plate (???) 107 KB JPG >hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm >beep beep beep beep >food is hot just imagine believing in microwave 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon was a pretty boy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)03:17:19 No.64496348 DAYS WITHOUT SUICIDAL THOUGHTS 3:28 1625764451734.png 511 KB PNG >was a pretty boy in college and high school >women used to mire me every time i went out >but had anxiety and ended up talking to not a single girl >now virgin at 27 >girls stopped checking me out at 24 View Thread 4 Replies
: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)03:17:19 No.64496348 DAYS WITHOUT SUICIDAL THOUGHTS 3:28 1625764451734.png 511 KB PNG >was a pretty boy in college and high school >women used to mire me every time i went out >but had anxiety and ended up talking to not a single girl >now virgin at 27 >girls stopped checking me out at 24 View Thread 4 Replies

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Who wears short shorts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)07:59:50 No.62111403 Do you give a f--- about how others see you, /fit/? I'm: >30 years old >dad bod 53 KB JPG >learning to swim at the gym in 1on1 sessions currently >swim shorts are far too small since i had them for 10 years >scare away all the kids and others from the lane i'm in >balding >don't give a f--- and still show up daily for gains
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)07:59:50 No.62111403 Do you give a f--- about how others see you, /fit/? I'm: >30 years old >dad bod 53 KB JPG >learning to swim at the gym in 1on1 sessions currently >swim shorts are far too small since i had them for 10 years >scare away all the kids and others from the lane i'm in >balding >don't give a f--- and still show up daily for gains

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What's with Europeans not buying AC? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: w/5kNNIq AGGHHH GLOBAL WARMING WE'RE AL(...) 07/07/21(Wed)04:50:35 No.329029647 Source: Weather reports, French authorities THE WASHINGTON POST In much of Europe, air conditioning has been seen as a luxury, and even a U.S.-style indulgence. Fewer than 5 percent of European households have air conditioning, compared with 90 percent in the United States. But that may change as episodes of punishing heat become the new normal. Europoor Air Conditioning.png 43 KB PNG Oh wait it is just Europoors stuck in the 19th century. : Anonymous (ID: dBAksjU ) 07/07/21(Wed)04:58:44 No.329030438 >>329029647(OP)_# >Fewer than 5% What the actual f---? >>329030601 # >>329031467 # >>329032443 # >>329032714 # >>329039629 # : Anonymous (ID: XznSztaY 07/07/21 (Wed)07:24:47 No.329043904 >The 2003 European heat wave led to the hottest summer on record in Europe since at least 1540.[2] France was hit especially hard. The heat wave led to health crises in several countries and 75 KB JPG combined with drought to create a crop shortfall in parts of Southern Europe. Peer- reviewed analysis places the European death toll at more than 70,000.[3] yuropoors would rather die than spend $500 on a f------ AC >>329044898 #
: Anonymous (ID: w/5kNNIq AGGHHH GLOBAL WARMING WE'RE AL(...) 07/07/21(Wed)04:50:35 No.329029647 Source: Weather reports, French authorities THE WASHINGTON POST In much of Europe, air conditioning has been seen as a luxury, and even a U.S.-style indulgence. Fewer than 5 percent of European households have air conditioning, compared with 90 percent in the United States. But that may change as episodes of punishing heat become the new normal. Europoor Air Conditioning.png 43 KB PNG Oh wait it is just Europoors stuck in the 19th century. : Anonymous (ID: dBAksjU ) 07/07/21(Wed)04:58:44 No.329030438 >>329029647(OP)_# >Fewer than 5% What the actual f---? >>329030601 # >>329031467 # >>329032443 # >>329032714 # >>329039629 # : Anonymous (ID: XznSztaY 07/07/21 (Wed)07:24:47 No.329043904 >The 2003 European heat wave led to the hottest summer on record in Europe since at least 1540.[2] France was hit especially hard. The heat wave led to health crises in several countries and 75 KB JPG combined with drought to create a crop shortfall in parts of Southern Europe. Peer- reviewed analysis places the European death toll at more than 70,000.[3] yuropoors would rather die than spend $500 on a f------ AC >>329044898 #

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I don’t know why you say goodbye | /r/Greentext

File: 7301-full.jpg (10 KB, 274x274) Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)07:10:06 No.858663954 [Reply] >be me >taking a s--- at a gas station >alone >suddenly hear someone enter >walks directly to my stall and starts knocking on the door >"hehehe hello" >w-- >voice is kinda high pitched and super nasally >"it's occupied man" >mfw when there's two other empty stalls right next to me >"hehehe HELLO" >knocking has turned into banging >angry and kinda scared >turd hasn't dropped yet, I might have to fight for my life with a log between my cheeks >"BRO IM S------- HERE" >"HEEEE HEEE HEELLOOOOO" >f--- this >pull my pants, turd squishes into my ass crack >take out my pocket knife >mfw the guy bolts out before I can open stall door >mfw when I'm standing here with a knife and hot s--- slowly dripping its way to my balls which one of you did this ? i just want to talk. also bathroom stories
File: 7301-full.jpg (10 KB, 274x274) Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)07:10:06 No.858663954 [Reply] >be me >taking a s--- at a gas station >alone >suddenly hear someone enter >walks directly to my stall and starts knocking on the door >"hehehe hello" >w-- >voice is kinda high pitched and super nasally >"it's occupied man" >mfw when there's two other empty stalls right next to me >"hehehe HELLO" >knocking has turned into banging >angry and kinda scared >turd hasn't dropped yet, I might have to fight for my life with a log between my cheeks >"BRO IM S------- HERE" >"HEEEE HEEE HEELLOOOOO" >f--- this >pull my pants, turd squishes into my ass crack >take out my pocket knife >mfw the guy bolts out before I can open stall door >mfw when I'm standing here with a knife and hot s--- slowly dripping its way to my balls which one of you did this ? i just want to talk. also bathroom stories

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Anon asserts dominance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I f----- up 07/09/21(Fri)12:41:14 No.64497550 > be me, living in dorm > can't fall asleep due to butterflies > open my room's door into the bright corridor so that they fly out > fall asleep with the door open 29 KB JPG Next day > wake up > decide to coom > mid cooming some girl pops in and immediately leaves I'm starting nofap fellas. Wish me luck.
: Anonymous I f----- up 07/09/21(Fri)12:41:14 No.64497550 > be me, living in dorm > can't fall asleep due to butterflies > open my room's door into the bright corridor so that they fly out > fall asleep with the door open 29 KB JPG Next day > wake up > decide to coom > mid cooming some girl pops in and immediately leaves I'm starting nofap fellas. Wish me luck.

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anon is pokesexual | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)01:50:06 No.851325777 >be me >fapping to hardcore Indian piss hentai in my bedroom >about to c-- >dad decides it's a good time to barge in >"hey anon, did you-" >hurriedly switch tabs to a 186 KB PNG paused YouTube video with a mudkip on the screen >dad sees his son c-- to a mudkip on a 50" tv monitor >dad walks back out and closes the door >my dad now thinks I'm a pokésexual >mfw
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)01:50:06 No.851325777 >be me >fapping to hardcore Indian piss hentai in my bedroom >about to c-- >dad decides it's a good time to barge in >"hey anon, did you-" >hurriedly switch tabs to a 186 KB PNG paused YouTube video with a mudkip on the screen >dad sees his son c-- to a mudkip on a 50" tv monitor >dad walks back out and closes the door >my dad now thinks I'm a pokésexual >mfw

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Bonganon needs a wank | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 09/05/16(Mon)08:33:08 No.702652974 >be britbong >having tea and crumpets with me mum >start thinking of Muriel from work >would like to have a little in-out, in-out with her >" "scuse me mum, I..I need to have a go" >head over to the computation machine >it's off >slam it hard with me fist >"OI, TURN ON! I NEED A WANK" >it turns on >search for p--- >blocked >"bollocks" >run outside and find the nearest red phone booth >grab the tele and dial the p---------- administrator >"Ello? Her Majesty's P---------- Administration Centre. Who's this callin'?" >"Ello, I need a wank somethin' good!" >"Hol' on there, son. You need to give me your name and residence first." >"My name's Humphrey Throckwaddle II and I live at 3242 West Pennywood Lane" >"Alright then. And what type of p--- will you be wantin' today, Mr. Throckwaddle?" >"Cuckold, sir. Please hurry, me p----- is about ready to burst" >"Alright then, one moment please.and you are all set, sir. I have given your household 10 minutes of uninterrupted access to cuckold p---." >"Thank you sir! And God bless the Queen!" >"God bless her right! Cheerio!" >Race back home before the cuckold p--- time runs out >enter front door >blood is everywhere >go into kitchen >mum is dead >beheaded by muslims
O Anonymous 09/05/16(Mon)08:33:08 No.702652974 >be britbong >having tea and crumpets with me mum >start thinking of Muriel from work >would like to have a little in-out, in-out with her >" "scuse me mum, I..I need to have a go" >head over to the computation machine >it's off >slam it hard with me fist >"OI, TURN ON! I NEED A WANK" >it turns on >search for p--- >blocked >"bollocks" >run outside and find the nearest red phone booth >grab the tele and dial the p---------- administrator >"Ello? Her Majesty's P---------- Administration Centre. Who's this callin'?" >"Ello, I need a wank somethin' good!" >"Hol' on there, son. You need to give me your name and residence first." >"My name's Humphrey Throckwaddle II and I live at 3242 West Pennywood Lane" >"Alright then. And what type of p--- will you be wantin' today, Mr. Throckwaddle?" >"Cuckold, sir. Please hurry, me p----- is about ready to burst" >"Alright then, one moment please.and you are all set, sir. I have given your household 10 minutes of uninterrupted access to cuckold p---." >"Thank you sir! And God bless the Queen!" >"God bless her right! Cheerio!" >Race back home before the cuckold p--- time runs out >enter front door >blood is everywhere >go into kitchen >mum is dead >beheaded by muslims

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Anon Summarises The Joe Rogan Experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: X09XXPI 07/09/21(Fri)15:31:33 No.329330169 >>329330390 >>329330398 >>329330764 >>329331490 >>329331540 >>329331748 >>329332643 >>329336908 >>329337049 File: images - 2021-04-30T192555.700.jpg (17 KB, 480x360) >>329329430 (OP) >"The thing is. (Joe leans into the mic) fat isn't the problem. Carbs and sugar is the problem. Ever eat nuts man? Nuts are good for you." >Guest: "uh. Yeah I eat nuts. I used to pick peanuts back when I was a kid and they were in the season." >Joe: "Nice, nice. Like from a tree?" >Guest: "No, they grow in the ground." >(Joe nearly s---- himself in surprise) "What?" >(His guest try not to sound condescending) >Guest: Peanuts grow in the ground kind of like-- >Joe: "Jamie, Google this right now. Jamie Google peanuts growing in the ground. H--------." >Guest: "Yeah just like that. They grow in the ground like potatoes." >Joe: "Well. (Breaths heavily into the mic) That makes sense. They couldn't grow on trees because squirrels would f--- them up. Imagine that? Imagine how much squirrels would f--- up a peanut tree. Squirrels are basically tiny chimpanzees."
Anonymous (ID: X09XXPI 07/09/21(Fri)15:31:33 No.329330169 >>329330390 >>329330398 >>329330764 >>329331490 >>329331540 >>329331748 >>329332643 >>329336908 >>329337049 File: images - 2021-04-30T192555.700.jpg (17 KB, 480x360) >>329329430 (OP) >"The thing is. (Joe leans into the mic) fat isn't the problem. Carbs and sugar is the problem. Ever eat nuts man? Nuts are good for you." >Guest: "uh. Yeah I eat nuts. I used to pick peanuts back when I was a kid and they were in the season." >Joe: "Nice, nice. Like from a tree?" >Guest: "No, they grow in the ground." >(Joe nearly s---- himself in surprise) "What?" >(His guest try not to sound condescending) >Guest: Peanuts grow in the ground kind of like-- >Joe: "Jamie, Google this right now. Jamie Google peanuts growing in the ground. H--------." >Guest: "Yeah just like that. They grow in the ground like potatoes." >Joe: "Well. (Breaths heavily into the mic) That makes sense. They couldn't grow on trees because squirrels would f--- them up. Imagine that? Imagine how much squirrels would f--- up a peanut tree. Squirrels are basically tiny chimpanzees."

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Anon needs a trip | /r/Greentext

File: Intelgensmrtman.png (5 KB, 220x229) O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:18:48 No.858654876 >wan go diney wurl? O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:23:45 No.858655046 File: Drulman.png (4 KB, 231x218) flawda? Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:26:27 No.858655138 File: Dremman.png (5 KB, 226x223) orthando O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:31:14 No.858655329 File: FloridaMan.png (659 KB, 990x1261) Wan c-- flawda?
File: Intelgensmrtman.png (5 KB, 220x229) O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:18:48 No.858654876 >wan go diney wurl? O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:23:45 No.858655046 File: Drulman.png (4 KB, 231x218) flawda? Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:26:27 No.858655138 File: Dremman.png (5 KB, 226x223) orthando O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:31:14 No.858655329 File: FloridaMan.png (659 KB, 990x1261) Wan c-- flawda?

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Anon is a Redditor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: XKa6xbyD ) - 01/09/21(Sat)01:40:35 No.301405702 >>301404743 (OP) # >why yes, i spend 20% of my allowance on reddit gold awards to let people know that they did a goodthink 8 KB PNG >>301406177 #
: Anonymous (ID: XKa6xbyD ) - 01/09/21(Sat)01:40:35 No.301405702 >>301404743 (OP) # >why yes, i spend 20% of my allowance on reddit gold awards to let people know that they did a goodthink 8 KB PNG >>301406177 #

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Anon escapes appetizer time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 98W9MSDR Did I do the right thing /pol/(...) 07/09/21(Fri)01:45:55 No.329270502 >5 year anniversary with wife >she wants to go out to someplace special >end up going to fancy NYC restaurant >enter and sit down with her 286 KB PNG >receive menu a few minutes later >appetizer time >OH F--- >realize what is happening >start sweating >heart spounding >stand up and sprint out of there >get in car, start driving >haven't seen or spoken to her in 2 years
: Anonymous (ID: 98W9MSDR Did I do the right thing /pol/(...) 07/09/21(Fri)01:45:55 No.329270502 >5 year anniversary with wife >she wants to go out to someplace special >end up going to fancy NYC restaurant >enter and sit down with her 286 KB PNG >receive menu a few minutes later >appetizer time >OH F--- >realize what is happening >start sweating >heart spounding >stand up and sprint out of there >get in car, start driving >haven't seen or spoken to her in 2 years

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Anon realizes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)00:26:14 No.858643191 >a /b/ user Time: "exists* Every human: >a b user >abuser 54 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)00:26:14 No.858643191 >a /b/ user Time: "exists* Every human: >a b user >abuser 54 KB JPG

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Anon has a best friend | /r/Greentext

happened yesterday night Im typing in my room i haven't gotten out yet >be me >20 216 KB GIF >university student >have a best friend >met last year, share a lot of subjets >naturally spend lots of time with him >we have a friend group but we mostly stick together >friends joke about us being gay >we don't feel insecure and laugh with them >get called twinks regularly by year two >eventually start to do these jokes myself bc my friend is kinda cute >summer break closing in >his parents rich >big house in the mountains >they go on a vacation when break starts, leaving him alone >he knows my relationship with my parents is f-----, invites me over for summer, like last year >instantly accept >having a great time, we hike, laze around, play games >one day we get home completely beat >decide to throw ourselves a small party >grab some drinks >actually get wasted on some fancy s--- >my drunk ass makes more gay jokes >say we look like boyfriends living together >friend laughs and says he's going to make things gayer >he leaves to his room >comes back a minute later, in an oversized shirt, booty shorts and thigh high socks >severely drunk at this point but it clicks >he's been gay the entire time >never had a girlfriend >probably took my jokes for flirting >he is completely drunk and self unaware >sits on my lap >ohgodohfuck
happened yesterday night Im typing in my room i haven't gotten out yet >be me >20 216 KB GIF >university student >have a best friend >met last year, share a lot of subjets >naturally spend lots of time with him >we have a friend group but we mostly stick together >friends joke about us being gay >we don't feel insecure and laugh with them >get called twinks regularly by year two >eventually start to do these jokes myself bc my friend is kinda cute >summer break closing in >his parents rich >big house in the mountains >they go on a vacation when break starts, leaving him alone >he knows my relationship with my parents is f-----, invites me over for summer, like last year >instantly accept >having a great time, we hike, laze around, play games >one day we get home completely beat >decide to throw ourselves a small party >grab some drinks >actually get wasted on some fancy s--- >my drunk ass makes more gay jokes >say we look like boyfriends living together >friend laughs and says he's going to make things gayer >he leaves to his room >comes back a minute later, in an oversized shirt, booty shorts and thigh high socks >severely drunk at this point but it clicks >he's been gay the entire time >never had a girlfriend >probably took my jokes for flirting >he is completely drunk and self unaware >sits on my lap >ohgodohfuck

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Anon works at a shop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/20(Mon)19:46:16 No.60244419 >Be me >16 >Having a part time job at a local supermarket >Emo girl pulls up to the check out I'm at with a normal load of groceries 1024 KB JPG >Notice the cuts on her arm >Get my scanner gun and scan her arm >Manager sees this and I immediately get fired
: Anonymous 09/28/20(Mon)19:46:16 No.60244419 >Be me >16 >Having a part time job at a local supermarket >Emo girl pulls up to the check out I'm at with a normal load of groceries 1024 KB JPG >Notice the cuts on her arm >Get my scanner gun and scan her arm >Manager sees this and I immediately get fired

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Anon reveals his fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)03:55:48 No.64494173 >am an architect >download a game called Feeder Fantasy >play it for around an hour >suddenly, I get a ping in the chat >"ayo, anon's playing some fat p--- 338 KB JPG game!" >Discord displayed what game I was playing >now all my friends know I'm into fat chicks and won't stop teasing me
: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)03:55:48 No.64494173 >am an architect >download a game called Feeder Fantasy >play it for around an hour >suddenly, I get a ping in the chat >"ayo, anon's playing some fat p--- 338 KB JPG game!" >Discord displayed what game I was playing >now all my friends know I'm into fat chicks and won't stop teasing me

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