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Anon finds a gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)03:01:19 No.64510632 >be me >no gf >go outside >find a squid gf instead We're all gonna make it bros! 513 KB JPG

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)03:01:19 No.64510632 >be me >no gf >go outside >find a squid gf instead We're all gonna make it bros! 513 KB JPG

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Airplanes are a myth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)07:17:47 No.29131 >yeah bro you just take the flying tube to the other side of the world! it's that simple! does anyone actually believe in this s---? 212 KB JPG

Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)07:17:47 No.29131 >yeah bro you just take the flying tube to the other side of the world! it's that simple! does anyone actually believe in this s---? 212 KB JPG

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Anon gets cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)12:33:15 No.858731829 pet stories >be me >4 >get new cat >cat small 95 KB PNG >plays >happy >15 years later >cat old >still tries to get on my shoulder >kidneys >cat die >sad >lonely >idea >new cat >get new cat >looks just like old cat did >happy again thank you cat pic related View Thread

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)12:33:15 No.858731829 pet stories >be me >4 >get new cat >cat small 95 KB PNG >plays >happy >15 years later >cat old >still tries to get on my shoulder >kidneys >cat die >sad >lonely >idea >new cat >get new cat >looks just like old cat did >happy again thank you cat pic related View Thread

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anon likes the silly voice | /r/Greentext

File: 16166819.jpg (1.48 MB, 1746x2439) O Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)21:03:09 No.64511020 >>64511033 >in economics class >teacher starts playing an episode of john oliver's talk show >spend the first half of it trying to hold in my laugher because it is so s--- >john oliver does a silly voice >this is my breaking point >burst into laughter because i cannot hold it in anymore >eyes start watering >tears roll down my cheek >the entire class is silent and looking at me >continue to laugh for the next few minutes without being able to stop because i keep on thinking of the silly voice

File: 16166819.jpg (1.48 MB, 1746x2439) O Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)21:03:09 No.64511020 >>64511033 >in economics class >teacher starts playing an episode of john oliver's talk show >spend the first half of it trying to hold in my laugher because it is so s--- >john oliver does a silly voice >this is my breaking point >burst into laughter because i cannot hold it in anymore >eyes start watering >tears roll down my cheek >the entire class is silent and looking at me >continue to laugh for the next few minutes without being able to stop because i keep on thinking of the silly voice

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Anon hates the british | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)10:46:45 No.858729928 >be me >making fun of british people is funny >working register at fast food place >british couple walks in, I take their 2 order >strong British accent >trying really hard not to laugh 34 KB JPG >one of them says "water" >burst out laughing, both at the accent and my own autism >can't stop >coworker has to finish taking their order >manager p----- at me >still laughing F--- British people

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)10:46:45 No.858729928 >be me >making fun of british people is funny >working register at fast food place >british couple walks in, I take their 2 order >strong British accent >trying really hard not to laugh 34 KB JPG >one of them says "water" >burst out laughing, both at the accent and my own autism >can't stop >coworker has to finish taking their order >manager p----- at me >still laughing F--- British people

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Father of the bride | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:36:53 No.62107208 >>62106370 (OP) # >rent small boat with my friends >sailing around the harbor >having lots of fun, start waving at people on other boats 932 KB GIF >wave to a small boat with about 10 Asian girls on it >one girl yells "DADDY!" at me >some of the other girls on the boat start yelling "DADDY!" at me >me and my friends laugh I had so much fun last weekend >>62110505 # : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:39:27 No.62107237 >running around the house without a shirt yesterday >feel a little bit pudgy from my 3300 kcal bulk >send my crush a shirtless mirror 67 KB JPG snapchat, asking if i should cut a bit >she replies that i am f------ sexy and that i should gain even more >mfw >>62107256 # >>62109054 #

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:36:53 No.62107208 >>62106370 (OP) # >rent small boat with my friends >sailing around the harbor >having lots of fun, start waving at people on other boats 932 KB GIF >wave to a small boat with about 10 Asian girls on it >one girl yells "DADDY!" at me >some of the other girls on the boat start yelling "DADDY!" at me >me and my friends laugh I had so much fun last weekend >>62110505 # : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:39:27 No.62107237 >running around the house without a shirt yesterday >feel a little bit pudgy from my 3300 kcal bulk >send my crush a shirtless mirror 67 KB JPG snapchat, asking if i should cut a bit >she replies that i am f------ sexy and that i should gain even more >mfw >>62107256 # >>62109054 #

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Its easy, really. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/21 (Fri)21:46:01 No.858695566 >be me >unfortunate misunderstanding >crisis narrowly avoided >(emotion)(filetype) >(insert slurs) I think I'm getting the hang of posting greentexts 11 KB JPG

: Anonymous 07/09/21 (Fri)21:46:01 No.858695566 >be me >unfortunate misunderstanding >crisis narrowly avoided >(emotion)(filetype) >(insert slurs) I think I'm getting the hang of posting greentexts 11 KB JPG

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anon is a plague doctor | /r/Greentext

File : 1297895590 jpg-(74 KB, 500x375, plaguedoktor.jpg) O Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)17:33 No.86997261 >Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down the street to McDonalds. >Walk in and walk to the counter. >Hot blond girl turns around and screams. >Put on my deep voice. >"Do not fear me child!" >Bend down then leap onto the counter. >Knocking down the register and charity jar. >Raise my hands in the air >"PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYY!" >Manager storms from behind some machines with a p----- off look. >Do a MJ spin and kick some fat kids McFlurry to the ground. >"You are fat. You do not need this." >Tip my hat at the manager and jump off the counter. >Run for door and see this bitch/hot girl. >From senior year of high school. >She is eating some fries and stops and stares at me with a open mouth. >Sprint to her. >Grab bag full of fries and slap her with them. >Manager screams as he grabs me. >Spin and slap him across the face. >"Unhand me. Male of brown skin" >Run out of store after I sparta kicked the door. >Run home and walked back with out my costume. >See the sign with the no dogs stuff. >Picutre of a plague doctor with the cross out thing on it. >LOL

File : 1297895590 jpg-(74 KB, 500x375, plaguedoktor.jpg) O Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)17:33 No.86997261 >Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down the street to McDonalds. >Walk in and walk to the counter. >Hot blond girl turns around and screams. >Put on my deep voice. >"Do not fear me child!" >Bend down then leap onto the counter. >Knocking down the register and charity jar. >Raise my hands in the air >"PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYY!" >Manager storms from behind some machines with a p----- off look. >Do a MJ spin and kick some fat kids McFlurry to the ground. >"You are fat. You do not need this." >Tip my hat at the manager and jump off the counter. >Run for door and see this bitch/hot girl. >From senior year of high school. >She is eating some fries and stops and stares at me with a open mouth. >Sprint to her. >Grab bag full of fries and slap her with them. >Manager screams as he grabs me. >Spin and slap him across the face. >"Unhand me. Male of brown skin" >Run out of store after I sparta kicked the door. >Run home and walked back with out my costume. >See the sign with the no dogs stuff. >Picutre of a plague doctor with the cross out thing on it. >LOL

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Anon finally pops the cherry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)14:06:44 No.858720077 >meet a sexy babe >she invites you to her apartment CENSORED >she undresses... slowly >the panties are the last to go >wait, that's not a p---- >that's not a d---, either 26 KB PNG >oh god, what is that? >you've never seen anything like that before >is it... looking at you? >you start toward the door, it follows your movement >it blinks >you scream >it screams >she laughs maniacally

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)14:06:44 No.858720077 >meet a sexy babe >she invites you to her apartment CENSORED >she undresses... slowly >the panties are the last to go >wait, that's not a p---- >that's not a d---, either 26 KB PNG >oh god, what is that? >you've never seen anything like that before >is it... looking at you? >you start toward the door, it follows your movement >it blinks >you scream >it screams >she laughs maniacally

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Anon has a smelly peepee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)11:29:56 No.858717052 >Be me >shower >scrub pee pee >finish shower >pee pee still smells 9 KB JPG w-- is wrong with my peepee! I f------ shower daily and it still smells like fish w-- : Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)11:31:24 No.858717095 >>858717052 (OP) # Go to the doctor if you're so concerned retard : Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)11:31:45 No.858717107 >>858717052 (OP)_# Stop f------ fish. : Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)11:32:40 No.858717140 >>858717052 (OP) # It's something you ate making you smell weird, or a yeast infection : Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)11:34:52 No.858717209 >>858717052 (OP) # Stop jerking off for a couple days it'll go back to normal, unless you don't have a foreskin, then you should see a doctor. : Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)11:47:17 No.858717604 >>858717052 (OP) # Just shower dailier >>858717626 # : Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)11:48:03 No.858717626 >>858717604 # hang yourself.

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)11:29:56 No.858717052 >Be me >shower >scrub pee pee >finish shower >pee pee still smells 9 KB JPG w-- is wrong with my peepee! I f------ shower daily and it still smells like fish w-- : Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)11:31:24 No.858717095 >>858717052 (OP) # Go to the doctor if you're so concerned retard : Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)11:31:45 No.858717107 >>858717052 (OP)_# Stop f------ fish. : Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)11:32:40 No.858717140 >>858717052 (OP) # It's something you ate making you smell weird, or a yeast infection : Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)11:34:52 No.858717209 >>858717052 (OP) # Stop jerking off for a couple days it'll go back to normal, unless you don't have a foreskin, then you should see a doctor. : Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)11:47:17 No.858717604 >>858717052 (OP) # Just shower dailier >>858717626 # : Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)11:48:03 No.858717626 >>858717604 # hang yourself.

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Anon doesn't understand women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21 (Sat)05:02:08 No.64507532 >guy asks a woman out right away He's a creep >guy asks a woman out after being friends He's a lying scumbag >guy finds woman sexually attractive 46 KB JPG He's sexually objectifying her >guy finds woman not sexually attractive He's an insensitive manipulative a------ trying to lower your confidence Why the f--- are you like this females 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

: Anonymous 07/10/21 (Sat)05:02:08 No.64507532 >guy asks a woman out right away He's a creep >guy asks a woman out after being friends He's a lying scumbag >guy finds woman sexually attractive 46 KB JPG He's sexually objectifying her >guy finds woman not sexually attractive He's an insensitive manipulative a------ trying to lower your confidence Why the f--- are you like this females 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon likes Pokemon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 day ago No. 849151 >849154 >>849155 >>849160 >>849163 >>849224 >be me >play pokemon platinum at work on an emulator >i do it everytime im bored even tho i am not allowed to but no one really cares >have a team full of only cute pokemon >i love my pokemon esp. pachirisu >play every day after finishing dumb excels >one day i want to play pokemon and my safe file is deleted >oh s--- >get email from it-guy >"you have s--- taste and your team sucks" >cry because pokemon are gone what do i do

Anonymous 1 day ago No. 849151 >849154 >>849155 >>849160 >>849163 >>849224 >be me >play pokemon platinum at work on an emulator >i do it everytime im bored even tho i am not allowed to but no one really cares >have a team full of only cute pokemon >i love my pokemon esp. pachirisu >play every day after finishing dumb excels >one day i want to play pokemon and my safe file is deleted >oh s--- >get email from it-guy >"you have s--- taste and your team sucks" >cry because pokemon are gone what do i do

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Anon is normal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)13:49:19 No.62507443 >think I have ADHD thats why I cannot concentrate on tasks, become easily sidetracked and follow schedules >go to a doctor for a year >turns out I don't have adhd I am just a lazy retard 133 KB JPG

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)13:49:19 No.62507443 >think I have ADHD thats why I cannot concentrate on tasks, become easily sidetracked and follow schedules >go to a doctor for a year >turns out I don't have adhd I am just a lazy retard 133 KB JPG

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Anon hates Reddit | /r/Greentext

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anon wants the controller | /r/Greentext

controller.jpg 84 KB JPG >here's your controller bro : Anonymous 11/02/17(Thu)18:52:59 No.395523756 >toss me the controller bro >I can't, it keeps coming back

controller.jpg 84 KB JPG >here's your controller bro : Anonymous 11/02/17(Thu)18:52:59 No.395523756 >toss me the controller bro >I can't, it keeps coming back

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Anon is useless | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)16:18:58 No.858679151 >oh boy yet another day of crying while jerking off to s----- p--- 18 KB JPG

: Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)16:18:58 No.858679151 >oh boy yet another day of crying while jerking off to s----- p--- 18 KB JPG

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Anon hates gaming industry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 2UOSrrOm 07/02/21(Fri)09:24:12 No.328404923 >>328383482 (OP) # >pay $600 for console >plus $50/month for online access >plus $90 for the game >also watch ads while playing The absolute state of console gaming. >pay $2000 PC >plus $500 for Facebook Rift >plus $90 for the game >also watch ads while playing The absolute state of VR gaming. Can't wait for gaming industry as a whole to crash and burn with no survivors. >>328405332 # >>328405333 #

: Anonymous (ID: 2UOSrrOm 07/02/21(Fri)09:24:12 No.328404923 >>328383482 (OP) # >pay $600 for console >plus $50/month for online access >plus $90 for the game >also watch ads while playing The absolute state of console gaming. >pay $2000 PC >plus $500 for Facebook Rift >plus $90 for the game >also watch ads while playing The absolute state of VR gaming. Can't wait for gaming industry as a whole to crash and burn with no survivors. >>328405332 # >>328405333 #

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Anon finds treasure | /r/Greentext

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Anon takes a built different | /r/Greentext

Happened like 3 minutes ago >be me >wake up >take a pee >pee splits into two streams cuz d---'s retarded 49 KB JPG >piss all over my socks, the wall, and the floor >f---.jpg Bout to chop this f------ thing off swear to god I'm so mad.

Happened like 3 minutes ago >be me >wake up >take a pee >pee splits into two streams cuz d---'s retarded 49 KB JPG >piss all over my socks, the wall, and the floor >f---.jpg Bout to chop this f------ thing off swear to god I'm so mad.

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Get in my belly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:09:14 No.62106882 >at bus stop after gym sesh >clearly disabled woman in motorised wheelchair approaching, accompanied by middle-aged support worker >don't want to be rude so stare at building across road as they go past >hear a colossal "F--- YOU'RE SEXY, C---!" >look around surprised, she makes eye contact with me and smiles entire time she's going past >support worker's got expression between suppressed laughter and embarrassment d-don't think I can own this one, bros...

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:09:14 No.62106882 >at bus stop after gym sesh >clearly disabled woman in motorised wheelchair approaching, accompanied by middle-aged support worker >don't want to be rude so stare at building across road as they go past >hear a colossal "F--- YOU'RE SEXY, C---!" >look around surprised, she makes eye contact with me and smiles entire time she's going past >support worker's got expression between suppressed laughter and embarrassment d-don't think I can own this one, bros...

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