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Anon loves animal crossing and hentai | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)10:53:13 No.9821347 > be me > 47 year old Afghanistan local > planned some big attack this one time > now live in caves and hideaways > no running water to wash down 135 KB JPG sheep tendies > turn on my dell computer > can't decide if I want to pwn newbz on counter strike or throw on my bandana and watch some naruto > end up just running my DS emulator > play Animal Crossing: Wild World as always > in this game am not Earth's most wanted terrorist > am shopkeeper > am up to date on my bills > just learned a DIY recipe for a backyard lawn > decide to switch to CS:GO > get called a s---------- within 3 seconds of talking to my team > switch back to Animal Crossing > my lawn is beautiful > cross fingers and hope Obama doesn't kill me tomorrow before my pre-sleep hentai session > life isn't good, but it's ok
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)10:53:13 No.9821347 > be me > 47 year old Afghanistan local > planned some big attack this one time > now live in caves and hideaways > no running water to wash down 135 KB JPG sheep tendies > turn on my dell computer > can't decide if I want to pwn newbz on counter strike or throw on my bandana and watch some naruto > end up just running my DS emulator > play Animal Crossing: Wild World as always > in this game am not Earth's most wanted terrorist > am shopkeeper > am up to date on my bills > just learned a DIY recipe for a backyard lawn > decide to switch to CS:GO > get called a s---------- within 3 seconds of talking to my team > switch back to Animal Crossing > my lawn is beautiful > cross fingers and hope Obama doesn't kill me tomorrow before my pre-sleep hentai session > life isn't good, but it's ok

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Anon stagnates in life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)22:01:22 No.859000122 images (4).jpg| 8 KB JPG >be me, Eastern-eurofag >live in s------- country >go to engineering school because allegedly it pays well >ffw 7 years >be me >25 yo >work >sleep >repeat >pay rent >buy groceries >literally spend only on these two and cheap clothes when I need them >be end of every month >balance = 0 money >mfw my salary is considered good in this country >mfw l'll be wagecucking until I die and will have nothing to show for it Why bother anons?
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)22:01:22 No.859000122 images (4).jpg| 8 KB JPG >be me, Eastern-eurofag >live in s------- country >go to engineering school because allegedly it pays well >ffw 7 years >be me >25 yo >work >sleep >repeat >pay rent >buy groceries >literally spend only on these two and cheap clothes when I need them >be end of every month >balance = 0 money >mfw my salary is considered good in this country >mfw l'll be wagecucking until I die and will have nothing to show for it Why bother anons?

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Anon kills a bug | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)13:14:24 No.858997494 >Be me >Bring food to my room >Hear fly >Fuckno.jpg >Leave food in kitchen and grab fly swatter 52 KB JPG >l patiently wait for it to appear, for I am in my element >Finally notice it next to bed >Slowly approach >Swing >Miss >Starts to fly away >I f------ hit it mid air >Makes audible smacking sound >Soars accross room >Can't find its corpse >Panic >Desperately search for an hour to no avail >Realize I just have to live with the fact that there's a fly's liquified body somewhere in this room
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)13:14:24 No.858997494 >Be me >Bring food to my room >Hear fly >Fuckno.jpg >Leave food in kitchen and grab fly swatter 52 KB JPG >l patiently wait for it to appear, for I am in my element >Finally notice it next to bed >Slowly approach >Swing >Miss >Starts to fly away >I f------ hit it mid air >Makes audible smacking sound >Soars accross room >Can't find its corpse >Panic >Desperately search for an hour to no avail >Realize I just have to live with the fact that there's a fly's liquified body somewhere in this room

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Anon wants you to wake up. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)22:34:04 No.858956281 Elevators. >walk into metal box >press button >door closes >wait a few seconds >magically on "different floor" 391 KB PNG How can you retards fall for this s---? They clearly just move the scenery around to make you think your on a new floor.
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)22:34:04 No.858956281 Elevators. >walk into metal box >press button >door closes >wait a few seconds >magically on "different floor" 391 KB PNG How can you retards fall for this s---? They clearly just move the scenery around to make you think your on a new floor.

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Anon has some demons in his past | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/17(Wed)22:02:56 No.724775776 >drive a creepy r--- van equipped with twin hadley air horns. >pull up behind 16 year old girl in a early 90's vw cabriolet. >at a red light. >she's not paying attention and texting on her phone. >think it would be funny to make her jump. >blast my horns. >she panics and floors it right into the busy intersection without looking. >gets t-boned be a full sized chevy truck doing 45mph. >she never stood a chance. >l drove away slowly, went home and ate dinner. >>724775862 # >>724775992 #
: Anonymous 03/08/17(Wed)22:02:56 No.724775776 >drive a creepy r--- van equipped with twin hadley air horns. >pull up behind 16 year old girl in a early 90's vw cabriolet. >at a red light. >she's not paying attention and texting on her phone. >think it would be funny to make her jump. >blast my horns. >she panics and floors it right into the busy intersection without looking. >gets t-boned be a full sized chevy truck doing 45mph. >she never stood a chance. >l drove away slowly, went home and ate dinner. >>724775862 # >>724775992 #

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New slaves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)13:30:39 No.64566197 >playing new vegas for the first time >go for legion faction and beat the game last night >post screenshot in discord gc about how I beat it 167 KB JPG >friend asks what faction I went for >say I went for legion cuz they seemed kinda cool >friend goes on a rant about how the legion is terrible because they r--- women and use them for slavery >tell him its just a video game and it doesnt matter >he tells me slavery is terrible and everyone who chooses the legion unironically is either a massive edgelord or just plain stupid holy f--- do people actually get this worked up about a f------ video game? it doesnt matter if i choose the people who enforce slavery or the people who commit war crimes its a f------ video game lol
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)13:30:39 No.64566197 >playing new vegas for the first time >go for legion faction and beat the game last night >post screenshot in discord gc about how I beat it 167 KB JPG >friend asks what faction I went for >say I went for legion cuz they seemed kinda cool >friend goes on a rant about how the legion is terrible because they r--- women and use them for slavery >tell him its just a video game and it doesnt matter >he tells me slavery is terrible and everyone who chooses the legion unironically is either a massive edgelord or just plain stupid holy f--- do people actually get this worked up about a f------ video game? it doesnt matter if i choose the people who enforce slavery or the people who commit war crimes its a f------ video game lol

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)01:02:41 No.859010113 >be Russia >Decide to do some trolling >Go on Twitter >say how dogshit america is and how great Russia is >Americans agree 112 KB JPG >??? Are all of them this f------ retarded?
: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)01:02:41 No.859010113 >be Russia >Decide to do some trolling >Go on Twitter >say how dogshit america is and how great Russia is >Americans agree 112 KB JPG >??? Are all of them this f------ retarded?

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Anon joins a running group | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/20(Thu)19:05:25 No.56511154 >join running group >run leader tells us to sprint up a hill as fast as we can >leg it past everyone else >he pulls me over afterwards and goes on this passive-aggressive talk about how it's not a 16 KB PNG competition >try to rejoin group, he literally puts out an arm in front of me and asks if I understand >he's treating me like a child and I'll look like even more of a child if I argue so I walk away >was literally shaking at the unfairness You literally told us to go as fast as possible you power-tripping c---. F--- normies and f--- socialising.
: Anonymous 01/30/20(Thu)19:05:25 No.56511154 >join running group >run leader tells us to sprint up a hill as fast as we can >leg it past everyone else >he pulls me over afterwards and goes on this passive-aggressive talk about how it's not a 16 KB PNG competition >try to rejoin group, he literally puts out an arm in front of me and asks if I understand >he's treating me like a child and I'll look like even more of a child if I argue so I walk away >was literally shaking at the unfairness You literally told us to go as fast as possible you power-tripping c---. F--- normies and f--- socialising.

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Im starting to hate 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21 (Wed)14:09:37 No.858994292 >finds mcdonalds toy on the ground near my house >you know what that means >pic related 23 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/14/21 (Wed)14:09:37 No.858994292 >finds mcdonalds toy on the ground near my house >you know what that means >pic related 23 KB JPG

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Anon sees a spider | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)12:46:44 No.64562278 f---. >spider crawls on my bed >grab Glock 19 and shoot at it out of fear >accidently shoot through my phone and blast off a chunk of my bedframe 108 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)12:46:44 No.64562278 f---. >spider crawls on my bed >grab Glock 19 and shoot at it out of fear >accidently shoot through my phone and blast off a chunk of my bedframe 108 KB JPG

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Anon meets based grandpa | /r/Greentext

>can't get a job in my town anywhere >been living off of welfare for about 7 years >all because i was the worst retirement home caregiver ever > be 10 years ago > be me, out of high school, trying to do the right thing > get a job taking care of the elderly > good social skills, make friends with them easy > meet one old timer who used to be a big deal in Ford sales > english is pretty good but has a thick euro accent > made friends with him, got him euro snacks from the store > based grandpa always had war flashbacks > ww2, wake up in sweats, screamed about bombs > kept yelling out about killing hitler > "DIE HITLER! DIE HITLER!" > helped calm him but it got worse as weeks went on > based gramps would sing a song about killing hitler sometimes >i would sing along when I could > really cheered him up > thought about applying him to some more social events like the kareoke and talent displays > maybe get him to sing his song > he agrees whole heartedly > I try and memorize it as he sings along > finally nail some of it, but in weird europoor language so i probably sucked > big day comes, he gets dressed up, we go up and start singing >"Her zu uns, reih dich ein!!" >"Her zu uns, reih dich ein!" > most people are looking confused > one old lady vomits > staff try an unplug the mic > "Why?" > they call me a stupid f--- > "it's about killing hitler guys" > they tell me Die Hitlerleute actually means "We are Hitler's people" or something > try and look up the lyrics to prove them wrong > lyrics are largely banned from google > based gramps keeps singing all the way back to his room >i get fired two weeks for something "unrelated" > whole town finds out > never live it down >i miss you based gramps >we had a good time no matter what they say
>can't get a job in my town anywhere >been living off of welfare for about 7 years >all because i was the worst retirement home caregiver ever > be 10 years ago > be me, out of high school, trying to do the right thing > get a job taking care of the elderly > good social skills, make friends with them easy > meet one old timer who used to be a big deal in Ford sales > english is pretty good but has a thick euro accent > made friends with him, got him euro snacks from the store > based grandpa always had war flashbacks > ww2, wake up in sweats, screamed about bombs > kept yelling out about killing hitler > "DIE HITLER! DIE HITLER!" > helped calm him but it got worse as weeks went on > based gramps would sing a song about killing hitler sometimes >i would sing along when I could > really cheered him up > thought about applying him to some more social events like the kareoke and talent displays > maybe get him to sing his song > he agrees whole heartedly > I try and memorize it as he sings along > finally nail some of it, but in weird europoor language so i probably sucked > big day comes, he gets dressed up, we go up and start singing >"Her zu uns, reih dich ein!!" >"Her zu uns, reih dich ein!" > most people are looking confused > one old lady vomits > staff try an unplug the mic > "Why?" > they call me a stupid f--- > "it's about killing hitler guys" > they tell me Die Hitlerleute actually means "We are Hitler's people" or something > try and look up the lyrics to prove them wrong > lyrics are largely banned from google > based gramps keeps singing all the way back to his room >i get fired two weeks for something "unrelated" > whole town finds out > never live it down >i miss you based gramps >we had a good time no matter what they say

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Anon is fucked up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Coooooo00om 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and leans close 23 KB JPG > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life
: Anonymous Coooooo00om 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and leans close 23 KB JPG > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life

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Anon goes to a pizza place | /r/Greentext

4665 png (87 KB, 292x292) U Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:19:05 No.8316930 ► >went to the pizza place my dad used to work at >owner tells me funny stories about my dad >then he gives me free pizza and fries fries I had a great time. *O Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:23.39 No.8316931 >28 did you make that face while you were driving home *O Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:25:36 No.8316934 ► >>8316931 Yes Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:35:34 No.8316944 28316946 are you still making that face now Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:36: 16 No.8316946 ► >>8316950 >>8316944 Yeah Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:37:48 No.8316950 >>8316953 >>8316946 I am happy for you anon Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:39:42 No.8316953 ► >>8316950 Thanks
4665 png (87 KB, 292x292) U Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:19:05 No.8316930 ► >went to the pizza place my dad used to work at >owner tells me funny stories about my dad >then he gives me free pizza and fries fries I had a great time. *O Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:23.39 No.8316931 >28 did you make that face while you were driving home *O Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:25:36 No.8316934 ► >>8316931 Yes Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:35:34 No.8316944 28316946 are you still making that face now Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:36: 16 No.8316946 ► >>8316950 >>8316944 Yeah Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:37:48 No.8316950 >>8316953 >>8316946 I am happy for you anon Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:39:42 No.8316953 ► >>8316950 Thanks

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Anon is ignored | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)16:46:58 No.858985866 >be me >17 >autistic >barely talk >classmates got used to it >try to improve my social skills >start talking w/ my classmates >they don't even hear me 21 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)16:46:58 No.858985866 >be me >17 >autistic >barely talk >classmates got used to it >try to improve my social skills >start talking w/ my classmates >they don't even hear me 21 KB JPG

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Anon is a farmer | /r/Greentext

I harvested a BIG GREEN CUCUMBER in my garden uWfuoNr/ 53m (7/13 15:42) · 329808450 >>329808384 (OP) What are the political implications of this? mes ASa6hvyg 53m (7/13 15:42) 329808456 JPG 125KB (712 × 1024) 1 Reply TORENT >>329808384 (OP) That's a Zucchini you f------ retard.
I harvested a BIG GREEN CUCUMBER in my garden uWfuoNr/ 53m (7/13 15:42) · 329808450 >>329808384 (OP) What are the political implications of this? mes ASa6hvyg 53m (7/13 15:42) 329808456 JPG 125KB (712 × 1024) 1 Reply TORENT >>329808384 (OP) That's a Zucchini you f------ retard.

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Anon takes the vaccine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)14:26:58 No.858980810 Guys what the f--- is wrong with me >Goin to college this September >Need full vaccine for in person classes >Got my 2nd Pfizer shot yesterday >Wake up, arm hurts, no different from 1st shot 117 KB JPG >Suddenly have an uncomfortable urge to laugh >Have to at least giggle each minute to satisfy the craving >l feel like a f------ schizo, been laughing on and off for an hour
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)14:26:58 No.858980810 Guys what the f--- is wrong with me >Goin to college this September >Need full vaccine for in person classes >Got my 2nd Pfizer shot yesterday >Wake up, arm hurts, no different from 1st shot 117 KB JPG >Suddenly have an uncomfortable urge to laugh >Have to at least giggle each minute to satisfy the craving >l feel like a f------ schizo, been laughing on and off for an hour

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Anon confuses his muscles | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)21:09:25 No.42700771 File: mgCLuzj.png (58 KB, 151x150) >>42701707 >>42701764 >>42701849 >>42701921 >>42697730 (OP) >be me >confused my muscles every which way possible >starting to see a plateau >devise a plan to finally get my gains back on track >one day ask gf for a haircut >sit down, nice and relaxed >immediately smash my head against the kitchen counter >place myself in a medical coma >muscles have no clue what is going on, they think its the end >get pronounced legally dead >begin to snigger inside my head at the absolute bewilderment my muscles are going to receive >get placed in coffin >muscles think its really the end, they've given up >placed in the ground >dirt begins to fall on the coffin >now is my time to strike >let loose a thunderous CMON as I punch through the coffin lid >family and friends scream in horror at the sight of my bloated corpse ripping through the flimsy wood >muscles haven't even woken up yet >launch myself out of the grave (functional strength) >sprint to my car >power down the highway to the nearest >pick up a dumbbell and beginning my 8 hour arm workout >muscles are in complete and utter panic, have no idea whats going on >can audibly hear the screams of confusion emanating from my biceps >cackle to myself as they have no choice but to grow bigger and bigger >mfw the ultimate supplement is death itself gym
Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)21:09:25 No.42700771 File: mgCLuzj.png (58 KB, 151x150) >>42701707 >>42701764 >>42701849 >>42701921 >>42697730 (OP) >be me >confused my muscles every which way possible >starting to see a plateau >devise a plan to finally get my gains back on track >one day ask gf for a haircut >sit down, nice and relaxed >immediately smash my head against the kitchen counter >place myself in a medical coma >muscles have no clue what is going on, they think its the end >get pronounced legally dead >begin to snigger inside my head at the absolute bewilderment my muscles are going to receive >get placed in coffin >muscles think its really the end, they've given up >placed in the ground >dirt begins to fall on the coffin >now is my time to strike >let loose a thunderous CMON as I punch through the coffin lid >family and friends scream in horror at the sight of my bloated corpse ripping through the flimsy wood >muscles haven't even woken up yet >launch myself out of the grave (functional strength) >sprint to my car >power down the highway to the nearest >pick up a dumbbell and beginning my 8 hour arm workout >muscles are in complete and utter panic, have no idea whats going on >can audibly hear the screams of confusion emanating from my biceps >cackle to myself as they have no choice but to grow bigger and bigger >mfw the ultimate supplement is death itself gym

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Anons mom walks in | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)11:42:30 No.858975572 >Just shat in my hand while going to wipe and my mum walked in on me and thought I did it on purpose > AMA 57 KB PNG
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)11:42:30 No.858975572 >Just shat in my hand while going to wipe and my mum walked in on me and thought I did it on purpose > AMA 57 KB PNG

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anon wants milk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:47:00 No.61759721 >Girls have milk in their boobs >They're walking around with MILK in their bouncy soft boobies 167 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:49:20 No.61759773 >they won't let you have any Truly a clown world.
Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:47:00 No.61759721 >Girls have milk in their boobs >They're walking around with MILK in their bouncy soft boobies 167 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:49:20 No.61759773 >they won't let you have any Truly a clown world.

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Anon is a good christian boy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/20(Tue)01:28:31 No.58340533 >be me >christian >have 3.5 peener >gf wanted sex >told her the big NO >gf breaks up 150 KB JPG >drive home sad >got into car accident >went to heaven >meet god >God shakes my hand >he whispered >"mah n----" >i smiled >sent back to earth
: Anonymous 05/26/20(Tue)01:28:31 No.58340533 >be me >christian >have 3.5 peener >gf wanted sex >told her the big NO >gf breaks up 150 KB JPG >drive home sad >got into car accident >went to heaven >meet god >God shakes my hand >he whispered >"mah n----" >i smiled >sent back to earth

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