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Anon joins a running group | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/20(Thu)19:05:25 No.56511154 >join running group >run leader tells us to sprint up a hill as fast as we can >leg it past everyone else >he pulls me over afterwards and goes on this passive-aggressive talk about how it's not a 16 KB PNG competition >try to rejoin group, he literally puts out an arm in front of me and asks if I understand >he's treating me like a child and I'll look like even more of a child if I argue so I walk away >was literally shaking at the unfairness You literally told us to go as fast as possible you power-tripping c---. F--- normies and f--- socialising.
: Anonymous 01/30/20(Thu)19:05:25 No.56511154 >join running group >run leader tells us to sprint up a hill as fast as we can >leg it past everyone else >he pulls me over afterwards and goes on this passive-aggressive talk about how it's not a 16 KB PNG competition >try to rejoin group, he literally puts out an arm in front of me and asks if I understand >he's treating me like a child and I'll look like even more of a child if I argue so I walk away >was literally shaking at the unfairness You literally told us to go as fast as possible you power-tripping c---. F--- normies and f--- socialising.

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Im starting to hate 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21 (Wed)14:09:37 No.858994292 >finds mcdonalds toy on the ground near my house >you know what that means >pic related 23 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/14/21 (Wed)14:09:37 No.858994292 >finds mcdonalds toy on the ground near my house >you know what that means >pic related 23 KB JPG

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Anon sees a spider | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)12:46:44 No.64562278 f---. >spider crawls on my bed >grab Glock 19 and shoot at it out of fear >accidently shoot through my phone and blast off a chunk of my bedframe 108 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)12:46:44 No.64562278 f---. >spider crawls on my bed >grab Glock 19 and shoot at it out of fear >accidently shoot through my phone and blast off a chunk of my bedframe 108 KB JPG

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Anon meets based grandpa | /r/Greentext

>can't get a job in my town anywhere >been living off of welfare for about 7 years >all because i was the worst retirement home caregiver ever > be 10 years ago > be me, out of high school, trying to do the right thing > get a job taking care of the elderly > good social skills, make friends with them easy > meet one old timer who used to be a big deal in Ford sales > english is pretty good but has a thick euro accent > made friends with him, got him euro snacks from the store > based grandpa always had war flashbacks > ww2, wake up in sweats, screamed about bombs > kept yelling out about killing hitler > "DIE HITLER! DIE HITLER!" > helped calm him but it got worse as weeks went on > based gramps would sing a song about killing hitler sometimes >i would sing along when I could > really cheered him up > thought about applying him to some more social events like the kareoke and talent displays > maybe get him to sing his song > he agrees whole heartedly > I try and memorize it as he sings along > finally nail some of it, but in weird europoor language so i probably sucked > big day comes, he gets dressed up, we go up and start singing >"Her zu uns, reih dich ein!!" >"Her zu uns, reih dich ein!" > most people are looking confused > one old lady vomits > staff try an unplug the mic > "Why?" > they call me a stupid f--- > "it's about killing hitler guys" > they tell me Die Hitlerleute actually means "We are Hitler's people" or something > try and look up the lyrics to prove them wrong > lyrics are largely banned from google > based gramps keeps singing all the way back to his room >i get fired two weeks for something "unrelated" > whole town finds out > never live it down >i miss you based gramps >we had a good time no matter what they say
>can't get a job in my town anywhere >been living off of welfare for about 7 years >all because i was the worst retirement home caregiver ever > be 10 years ago > be me, out of high school, trying to do the right thing > get a job taking care of the elderly > good social skills, make friends with them easy > meet one old timer who used to be a big deal in Ford sales > english is pretty good but has a thick euro accent > made friends with him, got him euro snacks from the store > based grandpa always had war flashbacks > ww2, wake up in sweats, screamed about bombs > kept yelling out about killing hitler > "DIE HITLER! DIE HITLER!" > helped calm him but it got worse as weeks went on > based gramps would sing a song about killing hitler sometimes >i would sing along when I could > really cheered him up > thought about applying him to some more social events like the kareoke and talent displays > maybe get him to sing his song > he agrees whole heartedly > I try and memorize it as he sings along > finally nail some of it, but in weird europoor language so i probably sucked > big day comes, he gets dressed up, we go up and start singing >"Her zu uns, reih dich ein!!" >"Her zu uns, reih dich ein!" > most people are looking confused > one old lady vomits > staff try an unplug the mic > "Why?" > they call me a stupid f--- > "it's about killing hitler guys" > they tell me Die Hitlerleute actually means "We are Hitler's people" or something > try and look up the lyrics to prove them wrong > lyrics are largely banned from google > based gramps keeps singing all the way back to his room >i get fired two weeks for something "unrelated" > whole town finds out > never live it down >i miss you based gramps >we had a good time no matter what they say

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Anon is fucked up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Coooooo00om 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and leans close 23 KB JPG > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life
: Anonymous Coooooo00om 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and leans close 23 KB JPG > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life

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Anon goes to a pizza place | /r/Greentext

4665 png (87 KB, 292x292) U Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:19:05 No.8316930 ► >went to the pizza place my dad used to work at >owner tells me funny stories about my dad >then he gives me free pizza and fries fries I had a great time. *O Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:23.39 No.8316931 >28 did you make that face while you were driving home *O Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:25:36 No.8316934 ► >>8316931 Yes Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:35:34 No.8316944 28316946 are you still making that face now Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:36: 16 No.8316946 ► >>8316950 >>8316944 Yeah Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:37:48 No.8316950 >>8316953 >>8316946 I am happy for you anon Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:39:42 No.8316953 ► >>8316950 Thanks
4665 png (87 KB, 292x292) U Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:19:05 No.8316930 ► >went to the pizza place my dad used to work at >owner tells me funny stories about my dad >then he gives me free pizza and fries fries I had a great time. *O Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:23.39 No.8316931 >28 did you make that face while you were driving home *O Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:25:36 No.8316934 ► >>8316931 Yes Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:35:34 No.8316944 28316946 are you still making that face now Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:36: 16 No.8316946 ► >>8316950 >>8316944 Yeah Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:37:48 No.8316950 >>8316953 >>8316946 I am happy for you anon Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:39:42 No.8316953 ► >>8316950 Thanks

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Anon is ignored | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)16:46:58 No.858985866 >be me >17 >autistic >barely talk >classmates got used to it >try to improve my social skills >start talking w/ my classmates >they don't even hear me 21 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)16:46:58 No.858985866 >be me >17 >autistic >barely talk >classmates got used to it >try to improve my social skills >start talking w/ my classmates >they don't even hear me 21 KB JPG

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Anon is a farmer | /r/Greentext

I harvested a BIG GREEN CUCUMBER in my garden uWfuoNr/ 53m (7/13 15:42) · 329808450 >>329808384 (OP) What are the political implications of this? mes ASa6hvyg 53m (7/13 15:42) 329808456 JPG 125KB (712 × 1024) 1 Reply TORENT >>329808384 (OP) That's a Zucchini you f------ retard.
I harvested a BIG GREEN CUCUMBER in my garden uWfuoNr/ 53m (7/13 15:42) · 329808450 >>329808384 (OP) What are the political implications of this? mes ASa6hvyg 53m (7/13 15:42) 329808456 JPG 125KB (712 × 1024) 1 Reply TORENT >>329808384 (OP) That's a Zucchini you f------ retard.

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Anon takes the vaccine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)14:26:58 No.858980810 Guys what the f--- is wrong with me >Goin to college this September >Need full vaccine for in person classes >Got my 2nd Pfizer shot yesterday >Wake up, arm hurts, no different from 1st shot 117 KB JPG >Suddenly have an uncomfortable urge to laugh >Have to at least giggle each minute to satisfy the craving >l feel like a f------ schizo, been laughing on and off for an hour
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)14:26:58 No.858980810 Guys what the f--- is wrong with me >Goin to college this September >Need full vaccine for in person classes >Got my 2nd Pfizer shot yesterday >Wake up, arm hurts, no different from 1st shot 117 KB JPG >Suddenly have an uncomfortable urge to laugh >Have to at least giggle each minute to satisfy the craving >l feel like a f------ schizo, been laughing on and off for an hour

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Anon confuses his muscles | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)21:09:25 No.42700771 File: mgCLuzj.png (58 KB, 151x150) >>42701707 >>42701764 >>42701849 >>42701921 >>42697730 (OP) >be me >confused my muscles every which way possible >starting to see a plateau >devise a plan to finally get my gains back on track >one day ask gf for a haircut >sit down, nice and relaxed >immediately smash my head against the kitchen counter >place myself in a medical coma >muscles have no clue what is going on, they think its the end >get pronounced legally dead >begin to snigger inside my head at the absolute bewilderment my muscles are going to receive >get placed in coffin >muscles think its really the end, they've given up >placed in the ground >dirt begins to fall on the coffin >now is my time to strike >let loose a thunderous CMON as I punch through the coffin lid >family and friends scream in horror at the sight of my bloated corpse ripping through the flimsy wood >muscles haven't even woken up yet >launch myself out of the grave (functional strength) >sprint to my car >power down the highway to the nearest >pick up a dumbbell and beginning my 8 hour arm workout >muscles are in complete and utter panic, have no idea whats going on >can audibly hear the screams of confusion emanating from my biceps >cackle to myself as they have no choice but to grow bigger and bigger >mfw the ultimate supplement is death itself gym
Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)21:09:25 No.42700771 File: mgCLuzj.png (58 KB, 151x150) >>42701707 >>42701764 >>42701849 >>42701921 >>42697730 (OP) >be me >confused my muscles every which way possible >starting to see a plateau >devise a plan to finally get my gains back on track >one day ask gf for a haircut >sit down, nice and relaxed >immediately smash my head against the kitchen counter >place myself in a medical coma >muscles have no clue what is going on, they think its the end >get pronounced legally dead >begin to snigger inside my head at the absolute bewilderment my muscles are going to receive >get placed in coffin >muscles think its really the end, they've given up >placed in the ground >dirt begins to fall on the coffin >now is my time to strike >let loose a thunderous CMON as I punch through the coffin lid >family and friends scream in horror at the sight of my bloated corpse ripping through the flimsy wood >muscles haven't even woken up yet >launch myself out of the grave (functional strength) >sprint to my car >power down the highway to the nearest >pick up a dumbbell and beginning my 8 hour arm workout >muscles are in complete and utter panic, have no idea whats going on >can audibly hear the screams of confusion emanating from my biceps >cackle to myself as they have no choice but to grow bigger and bigger >mfw the ultimate supplement is death itself gym

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Anons mom walks in | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)11:42:30 No.858975572 >Just shat in my hand while going to wipe and my mum walked in on me and thought I did it on purpose > AMA 57 KB PNG
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)11:42:30 No.858975572 >Just shat in my hand while going to wipe and my mum walked in on me and thought I did it on purpose > AMA 57 KB PNG

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anon wants milk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:47:00 No.61759721 >Girls have milk in their boobs >They're walking around with MILK in their bouncy soft boobies 167 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:49:20 No.61759773 >they won't let you have any Truly a clown world.
Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:47:00 No.61759721 >Girls have milk in their boobs >They're walking around with MILK in their bouncy soft boobies 167 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:49:20 No.61759773 >they won't let you have any Truly a clown world.

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Anon is a good christian boy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/20(Tue)01:28:31 No.58340533 >be me >christian >have 3.5 peener >gf wanted sex >told her the big NO >gf breaks up 150 KB JPG >drive home sad >got into car accident >went to heaven >meet god >God shakes my hand >he whispered >"mah n----" >i smiled >sent back to earth
: Anonymous 05/26/20(Tue)01:28:31 No.58340533 >be me >christian >have 3.5 peener >gf wanted sex >told her the big NO >gf breaks up 150 KB JPG >drive home sad >got into car accident >went to heaven >meet god >God shakes my hand >he whispered >"mah n----" >i smiled >sent back to earth

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anon hates this generation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)17:15:05 No.854186812 Zoomers >lets goooo >finna >no cap >vibing 103 KB JPG >rn >fr >ion 42 Replies / 9 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)17:15:05 No.854186812 Zoomers >lets goooo >finna >no cap >vibing 103 KB JPG >rn >fr >ion 42 Replies / 9 Images View Thread

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Anon is a scientist | /r/Greentext

Mum found the toad closet >be me >like to dissect random toads in my backyard and put the bits in coffee jars filled with formaldehyde >keep the collection in the closet >im something a scientist >one day go to a friend's house >when I return home mum's yelling >while she was cleaning my room she found isonophine (unrelated) and my stash of dismembered toads >accuses me of being a psychopath >tells me this is the last straw and bins all of them (a little under 200 jars worth) >she's now threatening to kick me out what the f--- do i do why dont women appreciate science/?
Mum found the toad closet >be me >like to dissect random toads in my backyard and put the bits in coffee jars filled with formaldehyde >keep the collection in the closet >im something a scientist >one day go to a friend's house >when I return home mum's yelling >while she was cleaning my room she found isonophine (unrelated) and my stash of dismembered toads >accuses me of being a psychopath >tells me this is the last straw and bins all of them (a little under 200 jars worth) >she's now threatening to kick me out what the f--- do i do why dont women appreciate science/?

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Jeff shows a magic trick how to abuse people in 1st world countries and be rich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:50:47 No.833723514 >be me >Get chased by group of men in suits >I run >Really hard to outrun them but I 58 KB JPG manage >l get tired and they keep inching closer >Oh_fuck.wmv >Get idea >I shave my head >Instant speed boost because of aerodynamics >Distance gets greater >They start screaming >"You can't keep running away, some day we tax collectors catch you!" Image related, I'm jeff bezos View Thread
: Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:50:47 No.833723514 >be me >Get chased by group of men in suits >I run >Really hard to outrun them but I 58 KB JPG manage >l get tired and they keep inching closer >Oh_fuck.wmv >Get idea >I shave my head >Instant speed boost because of aerodynamics >Distance gets greater >They start screaming >"You can't keep running away, some day we tax collectors catch you!" Image related, I'm jeff bezos View Thread

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Anon sees something | /r/Greentext

>France and Britain declares War on Germany after invading Poland with the soviet union. >Germany started ww2 Something doesn't quite add up here desu 1h (7/14 8:20)· 64560983 1 Reply because both the UK and France were sworn to defend poland if they got attacked. its literally the first thing that pops up when you search "how did ww2 start" Retard
>France and Britain declares War on Germany after invading Poland with the soviet union. >Germany started ww2 Something doesn't quite add up here desu 1h (7/14 8:20)· 64560983 1 Reply because both the UK and France were sworn to defend poland if they got attacked. its literally the first thing that pops up when you search "how did ww2 start" Retard

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Anon has a problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)17:55:27 No.64555591 >tfw been drinking so much I can't even remember what's real and what was a dream. I black out every day, then can't remember if things that happened are real or if I dreamt them in a 43 KB JPG withdrawal dream. I've been trying to stop, but it's so hard.
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)17:55:27 No.64555591 >tfw been drinking so much I can't even remember what's real and what was a dream. I black out every day, then can't remember if things that happened are real or if I dreamt them in a 43 KB JPG withdrawal dream. I've been trying to stop, but it's so hard.

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Anon gets ghosted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)23:48:51 No.858966322 >Be 25 and start talking to cute girl at the bar of a pizza place >hit it off and she tells me shes actually 20 >play chess with some old dudes outside a bar >get back to her place eventually >lay in her bed for a bit doing nothing >she turns over and we start making out >touch p--- grab d--- >she get on top and starts riding me >she does this for a minute and then says hold on and get off and lays down next to me >i think she just want to change positions >i get over her and stick it in and notice shes crying >talks about her being r---- by her friend last week >l stop and goto sleep without nutting >she ghosts me >see her a few weeks later at a bar in town and she literally runs away when she makes eye contact with me. I didnt even try to talk to her. s--- kinda sucked, but i got iit in atleast.
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)23:48:51 No.858966322 >Be 25 and start talking to cute girl at the bar of a pizza place >hit it off and she tells me shes actually 20 >play chess with some old dudes outside a bar >get back to her place eventually >lay in her bed for a bit doing nothing >she turns over and we start making out >touch p--- grab d--- >she get on top and starts riding me >she does this for a minute and then says hold on and get off and lays down next to me >i think she just want to change positions >i get over her and stick it in and notice shes crying >talks about her being r---- by her friend last week >l stop and goto sleep without nutting >she ghosts me >see her a few weeks later at a bar in town and she literally runs away when she makes eye contact with me. I didnt even try to talk to her. s--- kinda sucked, but i got iit in atleast.

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anon does like his clowns | /r/Greentext


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