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Anon likes his dad’s cooking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)11:05:59 No.16442307 >Mom cooks "alright" dishes daily to feed the family >Holiday comes around >Dad cooks >Ends up being one of the best f------ dishes of all time 37 KB JPG How do dads do this?
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)11:05:59 No.16442307 >Mom cooks "alright" dishes daily to feed the family >Holiday comes around >Dad cooks >Ends up being one of the best f------ dishes of all time 37 KB JPG How do dads do this?

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Anon has memory issues | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/18(Thu)21:20:08 No.775417615 >be me >have memory loss >get a gf >everything is good >get drafted for the military >my girl is waiting for me >serve my time >over my time in the service I forgot I had a gf >go on living life as normal >grow my hair out and a beard >decide to visit my hometown >go to the local pub >meet a really nice bartender girl >she starts telling me how her husband is in the military >tells me she's lonely >icanfixthat.jpeg >we head to her place >f--- like rabbits >finish up and pass out >next morning she's making breakfast >as I'm laying in bed I notice a picture >it's her and her husband >examine it closely >it's me without my beard and long hair >everything suddenly comes back to me >l just f----- my own wife >l just cucked myself >forget about it two weeks later
Anonymous 07/26/18(Thu)21:20:08 No.775417615 >be me >have memory loss >get a gf >everything is good >get drafted for the military >my girl is waiting for me >serve my time >over my time in the service I forgot I had a gf >go on living life as normal >grow my hair out and a beard >decide to visit my hometown >go to the local pub >meet a really nice bartender girl >she starts telling me how her husband is in the military >tells me she's lonely >icanfixthat.jpeg >we head to her place >f--- like rabbits >finish up and pass out >next morning she's making breakfast >as I'm laying in bed I notice a picture >it's her and her husband >examine it closely >it's me without my beard and long hair >everything suddenly comes back to me >l just f----- my own wife >l just cucked myself >forget about it two weeks later

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Anon comes back to reality | /r/Greentext


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anon talks politics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >l wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?
: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >l wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?

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Anon attracts land whales | /r/Greentext

File: nowwhat.png (117 KB, 490x586) O Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:34:11 No.64644989 [Reply] >be chubby white boy >get ignored by females >tired of it >start working out for 2 years 6x per week on a strict diet >start feeling slightly better >clothes starts fitting tighter >get somewhat swole >today >class as usual >there is a 150cm 120kg landwhale sitting across the room from my seat >see her struggle to stand up >she wobbles over to me with her stumpy legs >ΝΟΝΟΝΟΝΟΝΟ jpg >stands in front of my desk >"hey, do you wanna do something this weekend? We could go do x" >politely decline her >she starts throwing a small fit but then leaves >silence in the rest of the room Lads, is this what working on yourself does? How do I reset my progress?
File: nowwhat.png (117 KB, 490x586) O Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:34:11 No.64644989 [Reply] >be chubby white boy >get ignored by females >tired of it >start working out for 2 years 6x per week on a strict diet >start feeling slightly better >clothes starts fitting tighter >get somewhat swole >today >class as usual >there is a 150cm 120kg landwhale sitting across the room from my seat >see her struggle to stand up >she wobbles over to me with her stumpy legs >ΝΟΝΟΝΟΝΟΝΟ jpg >stands in front of my desk >"hey, do you wanna do something this weekend? We could go do x" >politely decline her >she starts throwing a small fit but then leaves >silence in the rest of the room Lads, is this what working on yourself does? How do I reset my progress?

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Desperate Dancing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)14:56:03 No.64645786 here is a tip for you horny virgins >go to a student bar type dance club >sit by yourself and sip your drink >after some time the club get's fuller and fuller >people will sit around you because their drunk and need a break >they will ask you why you are sitting by yourself >they will offer you to party/dance with them >???? >profit happened to me several times and I am a super sperg
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)14:56:03 No.64645786 here is a tip for you horny virgins >go to a student bar type dance club >sit by yourself and sip your drink >after some time the club get's fuller and fuller >people will sit around you because their drunk and need a break >they will ask you why you are sitting by yourself >they will offer you to party/dance with them >???? >profit happened to me several times and I am a super sperg

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Anon Hates Women | /r/Greentext


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You come at the king, you best not miss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)15:08:02 No.62662469 >be me 5'10 >at party chatting to 3 qts and a 6'1 lanklet know his height cos we used to play sports together >qts ask lanklet how tall he is >"i'm 5'11" bastard gives me the 33 KB JPG biggest s--- eating grin >qts turn to me >jump in before they can ask me >"that's not possible i'm 5'6 so you gotta be 5'9 at at most" >qts burst out laughing, lanklet starts spurting that he's actually 6'1 >"no way why would anon lie about being 5'6" Dont f--- with me lanklets i can bring you down to my level
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)15:08:02 No.62662469 >be me 5'10 >at party chatting to 3 qts and a 6'1 lanklet know his height cos we used to play sports together >qts ask lanklet how tall he is >"i'm 5'11" bastard gives me the 33 KB JPG biggest s--- eating grin >qts turn to me >jump in before they can ask me >"that's not possible i'm 5'6 so you gotta be 5'9 at at most" >qts burst out laughing, lanklet starts spurting that he's actually 6'1 >"no way why would anon lie about being 5'6" Dont f--- with me lanklets i can bring you down to my level

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Anon has a new fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/10/20(Thu)12:24:26 No.835769198 >be me, mid twenties >always late for work >idea.bat >start jerking off white l'm taking my morning s--- to save time >going well, few months now and 21 KB JPG I'm late much less >one morning, do my business, take a s--- and j-------, get ready for work >walk outside to my car >smell dog s--- >boner God have mercy on me
: Anonymous 09/10/20(Thu)12:24:26 No.835769198 >be me, mid twenties >always late for work >idea.bat >start jerking off white l'm taking my morning s--- to save time >going well, few months now and 21 KB JPG I'm late much less >one morning, do my business, take a s--- and j-------, get ready for work >walk outside to my car >smell dog s--- >boner God have mercy on me

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Anon & Mr. Pringles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)12:32:28 No.64641307 >be me >Hanging with friends >We go out to get snacks >Grab some candy, a drink, and some Pringles >We get back to his place >Start eating chips 83 KB JPG >Suddenly horny >Look at Pringles can >Intentionally leave chips in can so I bring it home with me >Get home >Still horny >Gather all that is needed and begin building makeshift fleshlight >Ponder my life choices halfway through but I've gone too far to turn back >Look at Mr. Pringles >He looks at me >Obviously f--- the can >Coom >Clean up a stash can away There's no point to this except I just made your dumbass read about me f------ a can of Pringles.
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)12:32:28 No.64641307 >be me >Hanging with friends >We go out to get snacks >Grab some candy, a drink, and some Pringles >We get back to his place >Start eating chips 83 KB JPG >Suddenly horny >Look at Pringles can >Intentionally leave chips in can so I bring it home with me >Get home >Still horny >Gather all that is needed and begin building makeshift fleshlight >Ponder my life choices halfway through but I've gone too far to turn back >Look at Mr. Pringles >He looks at me >Obviously f--- the can >Coom >Clean up a stash can away There's no point to this except I just made your dumbass read about me f------ a can of Pringles.

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Anon hates the British | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)10:46:45 No.858729928 >be me >making fun of british people is funny >working register at fast food place >british couple walks in, I take their order >strong British accent >trying really hard not to laugh 34 KB JPG >one of them says "water" >burst out laughing, both at the accent and my own autism >can't stop >coworker has to finish taking their order >manager p----- at me >still laughing F--- British people
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)10:46:45 No.858729928 >be me >making fun of british people is funny >working register at fast food place >british couple walks in, I take their order >strong British accent >trying really hard not to laugh 34 KB JPG >one of them says "water" >burst out laughing, both at the accent and my own autism >can't stop >coworker has to finish taking their order >manager p----- at me >still laughing F--- British people

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The hidden fridge secret | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)06:37:57 No.46325141 >Be me >mom locks the fridge >looking for keys >open high cabinet >see a burnt meth pipe >oh f--- 22 КВ ЈPG >take a few hits >confront my mom >getmyassbeat.jpg
: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)06:37:57 No.46325141 >Be me >mom locks the fridge >looking for keys >open high cabinet >see a burnt meth pipe >oh f--- 22 КВ ЈPG >take a few hits >confront my mom >getmyassbeat.jpg

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anon awakend once again | /r/Greentext

File: 148ie3d59mq01.jpg (123 KB, 1756x1080) Anonymous 07/20/21 (Tue)01:40:49 No.564396095 >>564396239 >be me >see zeldas ass in the ending cutscene >immediately start searching "zelda p---" >jerk one off to zelda and the water girl w-- is wrong with me? Anonymous 07/20/21 (Tue)01:41:52 No.564396208 congratulations, you're a typical human male with a healthy libido you sick FREAK
File: 148ie3d59mq01.jpg (123 KB, 1756x1080) Anonymous 07/20/21 (Tue)01:40:49 No.564396095 >>564396239 >be me >see zeldas ass in the ending cutscene >immediately start searching "zelda p---" >jerk one off to zelda and the water girl w-- is wrong with me? Anonymous 07/20/21 (Tue)01:41:52 No.564396208 congratulations, you're a typical human male with a healthy libido you sick FREAK

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Checkmate Veronica. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)20:01:19 No.64642652 eaf106cc072109caf3459de023d3616e.jpg 202 KB JPG >Anon, quick! Grab the antidote! If my breasts grow past a certain point, they won't be able to return to normal! How do you respond? 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)20:15:06 No.64642764 >>64642652 (OP) # Inject the shrinking antidote into my penis. Checkmate Veronica. 80 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)20:01:19 No.64642652 eaf106cc072109caf3459de023d3616e.jpg 202 KB JPG >Anon, quick! Grab the antidote! If my breasts grow past a certain point, they won't be able to return to normal! How do you respond? 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)20:15:06 No.64642764 >>64642652 (OP) # Inject the shrinking antidote into my penis. Checkmate Veronica. 80 KB JPG

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Anon had an exam. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)08:14:10 No.64642343 >have online exams this morning >been studying for it for multiple months >its two exams just packed into one word file >barely finish all the tasks just before i have no time left anymore >try to upload it 108 KB JPG >error message >try to upload it again but time is over >tell my professor >he tells me that its my responsibility to send it in time and that he can do nothing for me >realisation kicks in that ive been working day and night for absolutely nothing >the soonest date when i can try again will be in summer 2022 >checked my answers afterwards >everything was correct, wouldve probably been an A >go numb >lay down on bed
Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)08:14:10 No.64642343 >have online exams this morning >been studying for it for multiple months >its two exams just packed into one word file >barely finish all the tasks just before i have no time left anymore >try to upload it 108 KB JPG >error message >try to upload it again but time is over >tell my professor >he tells me that its my responsibility to send it in time and that he can do nothing for me >realisation kicks in that ive been working day and night for absolutely nothing >the soonest date when i can try again will be in summer 2022 >checked my answers afterwards >everything was correct, wouldve probably been an A >go numb >lay down on bed

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Anon makes a vaccine | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: 3HOTESC 1 07/20/21(Tue)16:14:34 No.330762341 ► >Be me >In college studying pharma >Decide to focus on r&d for final year >Get really f----- good at science s--- >Finish college with a masters at 25 >Get head hunted by pfizer >Work involves researching for new drugs >Start to work on MRNA s--- >Working on it for 2 years >This s--- has so much room for activity >Covid happens >Boss gives me unlimited money to make a vaccine >Literally the entire world wants this vaccine >Oh s--- my time to shine >World is shut down >Pubs are closed >work even harder >Team works around the clocked for 8 months to get something for testing >Finally get the trials ready >50% effective first try >Great idea comes to mind >Lets give them two doses >Boss loves the idea of selling double vaccines >90% effective.jgp >Start pumping out vaccines for people >People call our vaccine the rolls royce >feels good >Everyone gets the vaccine >Pubs open >Talk to a man outside >Ask him if he got his vaccine >He looks at me cold >Smoking a c-------- >Drinking a pint >Sitting outside in 35 degree weather >"I'm not putting that poison into my body" >MFW I should have let these c---- die.
O Anonymous (ID: 3HOTESC 1 07/20/21(Tue)16:14:34 No.330762341 ► >Be me >In college studying pharma >Decide to focus on r&d for final year >Get really f----- good at science s--- >Finish college with a masters at 25 >Get head hunted by pfizer >Work involves researching for new drugs >Start to work on MRNA s--- >Working on it for 2 years >This s--- has so much room for activity >Covid happens >Boss gives me unlimited money to make a vaccine >Literally the entire world wants this vaccine >Oh s--- my time to shine >World is shut down >Pubs are closed >work even harder >Team works around the clocked for 8 months to get something for testing >Finally get the trials ready >50% effective first try >Great idea comes to mind >Lets give them two doses >Boss loves the idea of selling double vaccines >90% effective.jgp >Start pumping out vaccines for people >People call our vaccine the rolls royce >feels good >Everyone gets the vaccine >Pubs open >Talk to a man outside >Ask him if he got his vaccine >He looks at me cold >Smoking a c-------- >Drinking a pint >Sitting outside in 35 degree weather >"I'm not putting that poison into my body" >MFW I should have let these c---- die.

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Anon Gives Reddit a Try | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)18:07:31 No.64598244 >Make Redditor account >Gain overherlming sense of wanting to say m'lady, and spend $200 for a virtual award to give to some stranger >Dismiss this >Find a post on r/atheism about someone bullying a kid to suicide for being christian 184 KB JPG >"Thats not cool man" >Swarm of Emilys and Neckbeards flock to my comment >"Looking at your post and comment history, you seem bad" >"You're a new account stfu" >"Your mom's maiden name is Lauren? Cringe" >"Your god didnt give me $400B and a house on the beach of sicily." >"I hope all Christians die in a genocide just like what they did to the jews." I know this will end up on r/greentext so tell me redditors, why do you all do extensive backround searches before you reply? And why do you all act so entitled?
: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)18:07:31 No.64598244 >Make Redditor account >Gain overherlming sense of wanting to say m'lady, and spend $200 for a virtual award to give to some stranger >Dismiss this >Find a post on r/atheism about someone bullying a kid to suicide for being christian 184 KB JPG >"Thats not cool man" >Swarm of Emilys and Neckbeards flock to my comment >"Looking at your post and comment history, you seem bad" >"You're a new account stfu" >"Your mom's maiden name is Lauren? Cringe" >"Your god didnt give me $400B and a house on the beach of sicily." >"I hope all Christians die in a genocide just like what they did to the jews." I know this will end up on r/greentext so tell me redditors, why do you all do extensive backround searches before you reply? And why do you all act so entitled?

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Anon is openly gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/18(Sun)01:18:21 No.49471737 >moaned while the nice haircut lady washed my hair 8 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 11/25/18(Sun)01:18:21 No.49471737 >moaned while the nice haircut lady washed my hair 8 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon takes oxycontin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:15:31 No.64049105 >just had knee surgery >given prescription oxycotin >eating dog cookies and talking about crushing my nephews head like omni-man 552 KB JPG These are so f------ good I understand how people get addicted to this stuff.
: Anonymous 06/08/21(Tue)10:15:31 No.64049105 >just had knee surgery >given prescription oxycotin >eating dog cookies and talking about crushing my nephews head like omni-man 552 KB JPG These are so f------ good I understand how people get addicted to this stuff.

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Anon's name is actually Melvin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/08/18(Sat)18:51:07 No.48008179 ► >48008256 File: 1513321471216.png (274 KB, 629x505) >one chance at life >parents named you melvin
Anonymous 09/08/18(Sat)18:51:07 No.48008179 ► >48008256 File: 1513321471216.png (274 KB, 629x505) >one chance at life >parents named you melvin

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