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Never stick your dick in crazy. | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2021-07-24 224041.jpg (116 KB, 1166x796) O Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)22:53:11 No.859611026 ManAd sent n To Aisn >be me, 24 years old, regular guy >move to a village to work as mechanic >bond with some of the families of the village invited to dinner and parties >feel welcomed and accepted, life is great >daughter of a nice pair approaches me >tells me she feels lonely here in the middle of nowhere, and that she doesn't make many friends >im friendly with her, tell her that everything will be alright, and that she can move away soon enough >she starts to casually visit me at home, at first it feels kinda strange, but got used to it >we enjoy long talks, play some games >one evening she asks me to go with her to her special place >she leads me to a beautiful grove, and we sit on some logs, listening to flustering leaves above us >she leans in, and tells me that Im her dreamguy >felt a strong connection to her already, and we ended up kissing >we have a secret romance, meet and kiss, watch netflix and she makes plans for the future >realize our age gap will become a huge issue, that the villagers probably already suspect something, and decide to end this >she loses her s--- and tells me that I will either stay with her, or she will accuse me of r--- >im f------ terrified, and give in >she grows more controlling each day, demands that I sleep with her >decide to buy record device to get some evidence against her >finally got one of our conversations on tape >meet up with her parents >tell them everything >dad is furious, doesn't belief me >play recorded stuff >their faces turn pretty pale >apologize to me, tell me they will have a word with their daughter >barely escaped hell
File: Screenshot 2021-07-24 224041.jpg (116 KB, 1166x796) O Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)22:53:11 No.859611026 ManAd sent n To Aisn >be me, 24 years old, regular guy >move to a village to work as mechanic >bond with some of the families of the village invited to dinner and parties >feel welcomed and accepted, life is great >daughter of a nice pair approaches me >tells me she feels lonely here in the middle of nowhere, and that she doesn't make many friends >im friendly with her, tell her that everything will be alright, and that she can move away soon enough >she starts to casually visit me at home, at first it feels kinda strange, but got used to it >we enjoy long talks, play some games >one evening she asks me to go with her to her special place >she leads me to a beautiful grove, and we sit on some logs, listening to flustering leaves above us >she leans in, and tells me that Im her dreamguy >felt a strong connection to her already, and we ended up kissing >we have a secret romance, meet and kiss, watch netflix and she makes plans for the future >realize our age gap will become a huge issue, that the villagers probably already suspect something, and decide to end this >she loses her s--- and tells me that I will either stay with her, or she will accuse me of r--- >im f------ terrified, and give in >she grows more controlling each day, demands that I sleep with her >decide to buy record device to get some evidence against her >finally got one of our conversations on tape >meet up with her parents >tell them everything >dad is furious, doesn't belief me >play recorded stuff >their faces turn pretty pale >apologize to me, tell me they will have a word with their daughter >barely escaped hell

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Melting point | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /fit/ Poetry Corner 07/24/21(Sat)20:26:33 No.62728875 а рoem >There once was a surgeon named Keith >Who circumcised men with his teeth >'Twas not for leisure, or sexual 15 KB JPG pleasure >But to get at the cheese underneath thank you
: Anonymous /fit/ Poetry Corner 07/24/21(Sat)20:26:33 No.62728875 а рoem >There once was a surgeon named Keith >Who circumcised men with his teeth >'Twas not for leisure, or sexual 15 KB JPG pleasure >But to get at the cheese underneath thank you

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Anon tries out 4chan | /r/Greentext

File: c2f.png (430 KB, 667x670) O Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)12:26:54 No.859601723 >be me >go on 4chan for the first time >go to /b/ >expecting it to be all tendies and greentext >actually just 50 percent p--------- and 50 percent black d---- >mfw
File: c2f.png (430 KB, 667x670) O Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)12:26:54 No.859601723 >be me >go on 4chan for the first time >go to /b/ >expecting it to be all tendies and greentext >actually just 50 percent p--------- and 50 percent black d---- >mfw

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Anon Can’t Help Falling in Love | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous GAY PANIC PLEASE HELP 07/21/21(Wed)16:02:58 No.64661636 >Think I'm turning gay > haven't liked a girl in a long while >like fingering >recently started going out alone with my Thate faggote and artichist, I hate f------ we've got you surounded, accept you're a f----- male friend who I'm kinda close with > like we'd go walk by the river, talk about 171 KB JPG our insecurities, dreams and feelings, try to force snails to f--- etc. >we'd also sometimes lay down next to each other in different positions under trees, in parks or on benches and s--- >His bitch gf is currently in Bosnia and they haven't talked to in a while, pretty sure they secretly broke up >My friend is hot as f--- and kinda feminine at the same time so... to top it all of when I was dead drunk I tried to mouth kiss him several times while completely naked, what do?
: Anonymous GAY PANIC PLEASE HELP 07/21/21(Wed)16:02:58 No.64661636 >Think I'm turning gay > haven't liked a girl in a long while >like fingering >recently started going out alone with my Thate faggote and artichist, I hate f------ we've got you surounded, accept you're a f----- male friend who I'm kinda close with > like we'd go walk by the river, talk about 171 KB JPG our insecurities, dreams and feelings, try to force snails to f--- etc. >we'd also sometimes lay down next to each other in different positions under trees, in parks or on benches and s--- >His bitch gf is currently in Bosnia and they haven't talked to in a while, pretty sure they secretly broke up >My friend is hot as f--- and kinda feminine at the same time so... to top it all of when I was dead drunk I tried to mouth kiss him several times while completely naked, what do?

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Anon fucks up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)00:53:45 No.859607000 >me in 2010, my birthday >Grandma gives me $200 >l bought some s----, spent $150 >I was watching YouTube, wild Bitcoin ad appears in the video >l was convinced to go to the page to enter my email, I received a 241 KB JPG bitcoin manual by email >Read manual and invest my remaining $50 in bitcoin >Get 450 bitcoins >hold for 3 years and sell half in 2013 for $280 each >Paying for college and buying grandma nice present, losing bitcoin wallet data >Now I have an abandoned bitcoin wallet valued at $6 million >l have a s----- job right now and I barely make it to the end of the month, f--- me from the past and f--- bitcoin
: Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)00:53:45 No.859607000 >me in 2010, my birthday >Grandma gives me $200 >l bought some s----, spent $150 >I was watching YouTube, wild Bitcoin ad appears in the video >l was convinced to go to the page to enter my email, I received a 241 KB JPG bitcoin manual by email >Read manual and invest my remaining $50 in bitcoin >Get 450 bitcoins >hold for 3 years and sell half in 2013 for $280 each >Paying for college and buying grandma nice present, losing bitcoin wallet data >Now I have an abandoned bitcoin wallet valued at $6 million >l have a s----- job right now and I barely make it to the end of the month, f--- me from the past and f--- bitcoin

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Double-D standard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)14:29:48 No.64696588 >Guys say they like bigger asses and boobs >This is okay >Girls say they like taller men and bigger d---- >Suddenly this is wrong 423 KB PNG Why?
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)14:29:48 No.64696588 >Guys say they like bigger asses and boobs >This is okay >Girls say they like taller men and bigger d---- >Suddenly this is wrong 423 KB PNG Why?

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Avoir du chien | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)15:28:04 No.64697220 S8IGIIP >walking my retarded dog >hes a 110 Ib black lab 547 >some cutie walks past me with her tiny dog >my dog goes ballistic and slips out of the collar >has a history of fighting other dogs becuase hes a little retarded 364 KB PNG >panic.jpg >doesnt kill her dog dispite violently huffing and growling >wind up in conversation with qt for like 15-20 minutes >somehow walk away with her number Just get a dog you retards
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)15:28:04 No.64697220 S8IGIIP >walking my retarded dog >hes a 110 Ib black lab 547 >some cutie walks past me with her tiny dog >my dog goes ballistic and slips out of the collar >has a history of fighting other dogs becuase hes a little retarded 364 KB PNG >panic.jpg >doesnt kill her dog dispite violently huffing and growling >wind up in conversation with qt for like 15-20 minutes >somehow walk away with her number Just get a dog you retards

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Anon doesn't go to camp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)12:59:09 No.859603195 >Be me >Be 13 >Be summer >Parents forcing me to go to this retarded summer camp owned by both The boy scouts and f------ 446 KB PNG mormons >Have an idea >Go to church with dumb parents >sit down in the front row >Half way though say "F--- YOU" as loud as I could >Literally nobody except my dad reacted >mfw I get punished for pretty obvious reasons >mfw my parents don't send me to the summer camp
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)12:59:09 No.859603195 >Be me >Be 13 >Be summer >Parents forcing me to go to this retarded summer camp owned by both The boy scouts and f------ 446 KB PNG mormons >Have an idea >Go to church with dumb parents >sit down in the front row >Half way though say "F--- YOU" as loud as I could >Literally nobody except my dad reacted >mfw I get punished for pretty obvious reasons >mfw my parents don't send me to the summer camp

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Anon on the racial difference of sex. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)15:15:59 No.64697091 >black girl >"AYYYYYYY IM GONNA F----- CREAM ON YO BIG D--- DADDY! AYYYYYYYYY F--- ME F--- ME! YAAAAASSSSSOH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD" >her whole body is squirming around, p---- is flexing expertly, and squeezing out all of your c-- >white girl sex >"uhhh mmm uhhh mmmm" >lays flat, no movement
Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)15:15:59 No.64697091 >black girl >"AYYYYYYY IM GONNA F----- CREAM ON YO BIG D--- DADDY! AYYYYYYYYY F--- ME F--- ME! YAAAAASSSSSOH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD" >her whole body is squirming around, p---- is flexing expertly, and squeezing out all of your c-- >white girl sex >"uhhh mmm uhhh mmmm" >lays flat, no movement

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Anti-masker | /r/Greentext

File: 1623079004073.jpg (19 KB, 299x260) Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)10:04:46 No.64694036 [Reply] D>>64694406 >roomate wont stop getting angry and start screaming like crazy throughout the entire apartment 10 times a day because hje keeps getting angry at rainbow six siege online >cant do anything because hes extremely aggressive when hes playing the game and hes 10 times stringer than me >he starts screaming even at 3 or 5 am >its been like this for almost 2 years now im about to snap soon guys, i have murder fantasies almost every single day now, in which i imagine scenarios where i violently kill him
File: 1623079004073.jpg (19 KB, 299x260) Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)10:04:46 No.64694036 [Reply] D>>64694406 >roomate wont stop getting angry and start screaming like crazy throughout the entire apartment 10 times a day because hje keeps getting angry at rainbow six siege online >cant do anything because hes extremely aggressive when hes playing the game and hes 10 times stringer than me >he starts screaming even at 3 or 5 am >its been like this for almost 2 years now im about to snap soon guys, i have murder fantasies almost every single day now, in which i imagine scenarios where i violently kill him

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Anon has a BIG fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)23:10:46 No.859595986 >be me >had a dream in which I summoned a demoness >she wasn't happy about it >she pointed her finger at me >as she lowered it down I felt a tremendous force 102 KB JPG >which pushed me down to my knees before her >she came closer and touched my forehead with her finger >l could feel she was able to read my every thought >she knew absolutely everything about me now >and she learned about my giantess fetish as well >she smiled and said she will let me experience it to the full extent >she shrunk me to about 4 inches and grabbed me in her hand >she looked at me with a grin on her face >and forced me into her p---- >she used me as a dildo >until she orgasmed hard >then she pushed me all the way deep inside her >and shrunk me to the size of a grain of sand >l heard her laughing somewhere above me >then she started to shrink me even more >l woke up sweating and tired af
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)23:10:46 No.859595986 >be me >had a dream in which I summoned a demoness >she wasn't happy about it >she pointed her finger at me >as she lowered it down I felt a tremendous force 102 KB JPG >which pushed me down to my knees before her >she came closer and touched my forehead with her finger >l could feel she was able to read my every thought >she knew absolutely everything about me now >and she learned about my giantess fetish as well >she smiled and said she will let me experience it to the full extent >she shrunk me to about 4 inches and grabbed me in her hand >she looked at me with a grin on her face >and forced me into her p---- >she used me as a dildo >until she orgasmed hard >then she pushed me all the way deep inside her >and shrunk me to the size of a grain of sand >l heard her laughing somewhere above me >then she started to shrink me even more >l woke up sweating and tired af

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Anon finds happiness | /r/Greentext

File: 870288BA-382B-4A6D-985C-9(...).jpg (44 KB, 575x719) O Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)12:10:44 No.859598527 >be stuck in dead-end job >boss is an a------ >best job i can get so i'm stuck >wife is useless, unemployed nag >annoying family takes up all my time >i exist solely to pay bills >no hobbies >only time i feel happy... >the bathroom >sit down and relax >look at p--- on phone >take huge satisfying s--- >savor the stench >blissful solitude >mfw the only time i'm happy is when i s---
File: 870288BA-382B-4A6D-985C-9(...).jpg (44 KB, 575x719) O Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)12:10:44 No.859598527 >be stuck in dead-end job >boss is an a------ >best job i can get so i'm stuck >wife is useless, unemployed nag >annoying family takes up all my time >i exist solely to pay bills >no hobbies >only time i feel happy... >the bathroom >sit down and relax >look at p--- on phone >take huge satisfying s--- >savor the stench >blissful solitude >mfw the only time i'm happy is when i s---

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4chan being 4chan | /r/Greentext

A heartbreaking sign of the times: In isolation wards where patients die alone, craving the touch of their loved ones, nurses fill gloves with warm water to simulate that comfort. They call it the Hand of God. Anonymous 07/23/21(Fri)23:43:11 No.331211140 ▼ >>331211470 >>331211483 >>331196128 >be alone in the dark >barely able to move >your only comfort a warm, water filled glove on your hand >you need to pee but it's better than nothing >the minutes of your lives dusk tick by >the glove slowly cools like the hand of a dead man >dropping even below ambient temperature >the cold hand of the reaper pulling you to the afterlife
A heartbreaking sign of the times: In isolation wards where patients die alone, craving the touch of their loved ones, nurses fill gloves with warm water to simulate that comfort. They call it the Hand of God. Anonymous 07/23/21(Fri)23:43:11 No.331211140 ▼ >>331211470 >>331211483 >>331196128 >be alone in the dark >barely able to move >your only comfort a warm, water filled glove on your hand >you need to pee but it's better than nothing >the minutes of your lives dusk tick by >the glove slowly cools like the hand of a dead man >dropping even below ambient temperature >the cold hand of the reaper pulling you to the afterlife

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Tied to the mast | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)07:35:54 No.64692884 >week into no fap feeling good and energetic >keep getting random erections tempting me to break the streak so this is what its like when your d--- works again 107 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)07:35:54 No.64692884 >week into no fap feeling good and energetic >keep getting random erections tempting me to break the streak so this is what its like when your d--- works again 107 KB JPG

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Business deductions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/23/21(Fri)14:31:17 No.64684070 >talking to friend the other day >he's been a bit more hostile to me lately >asking him why he still speaks to me if he clearly doesn't enjoy it >tells me that he has "business" 654 KB PNG with me and he can't tell me what it is >basically admits to using me >mfw I have no idea what this f----- could be trying to use me for. AlLI do is sit in my room all day jerking off and gaming
: Anonymous 07/23/21(Fri)14:31:17 No.64684070 >talking to friend the other day >he's been a bit more hostile to me lately >asking him why he still speaks to me if he clearly doesn't enjoy it >tells me that he has "business" 654 KB PNG with me and he can't tell me what it is >basically admits to using me >mfw I have no idea what this f----- could be trying to use me for. AlLI do is sit in my room all day jerking off and gaming

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Anon has a cat | /r/Greentext

f--- /b/ they're back >be me last night >live in house built in 1900-1910s >get in bed around 2am with my cat >cuddling and watching YT >at some point he gets up and walks to 650 KB JPG my closet door >starts flipping the f--- out and jumps up on windowsill licking himself like crazy >starts clawing at the window a ton >is completely avoiding the floor only jumping up on my dresser, bed, and window >feel some liquid start dripping on me >there's nothing on me and nothing coming from the ceiling >start seeing grey figures pop up around my bed >grab special Damascus knife I keep next to bed since it's the holy steel >the figures disappear >a couple sec later I hear human screaming outside >can hear it come up to porch steps >loud crack and screaming stops >hear footsteps come up porch towards windows >see figure move past first window >goes around corner to second window >it looks like some pale, mangy, 7ft dog with human like front legs >starts f------ with window >windows are just wood frames with glass so no locks >window starts to lift up >dive out first window with cat and knife >jump up on railing and climb onto roof just before it reaches me >wait it out till sunrise in boxers on roof with cat >watch it go into woods behind house >get back inside and in bed >cat finally calms down and goes to bed I haven't slept yet, this is the 3rd time this has happened but it's never been this bad Pic related it's my cat now that's he's sleeping
f--- /b/ they're back >be me last night >live in house built in 1900-1910s >get in bed around 2am with my cat >cuddling and watching YT >at some point he gets up and walks to 650 KB JPG my closet door >starts flipping the f--- out and jumps up on windowsill licking himself like crazy >starts clawing at the window a ton >is completely avoiding the floor only jumping up on my dresser, bed, and window >feel some liquid start dripping on me >there's nothing on me and nothing coming from the ceiling >start seeing grey figures pop up around my bed >grab special Damascus knife I keep next to bed since it's the holy steel >the figures disappear >a couple sec later I hear human screaming outside >can hear it come up to porch steps >loud crack and screaming stops >hear footsteps come up porch towards windows >see figure move past first window >goes around corner to second window >it looks like some pale, mangy, 7ft dog with human like front legs >starts f------ with window >windows are just wood frames with glass so no locks >window starts to lift up >dive out first window with cat and knife >jump up on railing and climb onto roof just before it reaches me >wait it out till sunrise in boxers on roof with cat >watch it go into woods behind house >get back inside and in bed >cat finally calms down and goes to bed I haven't slept yet, this is the 3rd time this has happened but it's never been this bad Pic related it's my cat now that's he's sleeping

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Anon has a pleasant weekend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)11:34:23 No.154020703 >Gf is on a girls weekend away >Have the house all to myself >Going to marathon some manly kino >fridge stocked with beer and pizza pre ordered 189 KB JPG How is your weekend going? : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)11:36:16 No.154020748 She's gonna cuck you. You should call her and tell her to not go. Trust me on this. I'm like Hitch
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)11:34:23 No.154020703 >Gf is on a girls weekend away >Have the house all to myself >Going to marathon some manly kino >fridge stocked with beer and pizza pre ordered 189 KB JPG How is your weekend going? : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)11:36:16 No.154020748 She's gonna cuck you. You should call her and tell her to not go. Trust me on this. I'm like Hitch

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Chad Cat lives the Chad life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /r9kot/ 07/24/21(Sat)00:20:06 No.64689751 >12 years old >spent 5 years as a stray >fathered 6 litters in that time >chill af >walks to the park with me >sleeps on my chest at night >dogs that get close are beaten into 76 KB JPG submission >doesn't leave the property when outdoors alone >never hisses or growls : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)00:23:56 No.64689777 >>64689751 (OP) # Sounds like a perfect cat, good for you man. Chad cat bro thinks you're a bro to him. 8 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)00:35:39 No.64689856 >>64689751 (OP) # Cats are gay therefore by extension you are gay >>64689916 # >>64690664 #
: Anonymous /r9kot/ 07/24/21(Sat)00:20:06 No.64689751 >12 years old >spent 5 years as a stray >fathered 6 litters in that time >chill af >walks to the park with me >sleeps on my chest at night >dogs that get close are beaten into 76 KB JPG submission >doesn't leave the property when outdoors alone >never hisses or growls : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)00:23:56 No.64689777 >>64689751 (OP) # Sounds like a perfect cat, good for you man. Chad cat bro thinks you're a bro to him. 8 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)00:35:39 No.64689856 >>64689751 (OP) # Cats are gay therefore by extension you are gay >>64689916 # >>64690664 #

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Anon lives in the middle east | /r/Greentext

>be muslim woman >accidentally bump into another man >get stoned to death
>be muslim woman >accidentally bump into another man >get stoned to death

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Anon takes the bus. | /r/Greentext

o Anonymous (ID: tLz24/mU) 07/26/13(Fri)16:44:48 No.495804625 File: 1374871488943.jpg-(12 KB, 262x192, s---.jpg) I'VE SEEN SOME S--- >> >be 13 >sick as a f------ dog still had to go to school, dads man, dads >finally made it to the end of the day, on bus trying not to puke >beautiful princess bitch in front of me with her friend >her perfume makes me f------ nauseous >bus hits bump going around a corner AND SOME S--- ACCESSORIES >oh man >projectile vomit with the force of a billion suns directly into her hair >down her back >into her purse, like i was a f------ machine built specifically to throw up gallons of bile >she throws up too, shes crying and puking >we're both shaking and throwing up, she aint even mad >forced to sit together because we reek and are sufficiently nasty best for 6 years. Replies: >>495805258>>495805824>>495807148
o Anonymous (ID: tLz24/mU) 07/26/13(Fri)16:44:48 No.495804625 File: 1374871488943.jpg-(12 KB, 262x192, s---.jpg) I'VE SEEN SOME S--- >> >be 13 >sick as a f------ dog still had to go to school, dads man, dads >finally made it to the end of the day, on bus trying not to puke >beautiful princess bitch in front of me with her friend >her perfume makes me f------ nauseous >bus hits bump going around a corner AND SOME S--- ACCESSORIES >oh man >projectile vomit with the force of a billion suns directly into her hair >down her back >into her purse, like i was a f------ machine built specifically to throw up gallons of bile >she throws up too, shes crying and puking >we're both shaking and throwing up, she aint even mad >forced to sit together because we reek and are sufficiently nasty best for 6 years. Replies: >>495805258>>495805824>>495807148

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