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anon is based | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)22:58:59 No.62742292 1619957713074.jpg (63 KB, 680x679) google yandex iqdb wait >>62743722 >>62749620 >at a rave >7.5/10 approaches me and starts flirting >buy her a drink >smoking a c-------- with her >guy approaches >"oh this is my bf haha" >completely ignore the girl and chat with the guy >girl gives me her number I do n associate with thots >not gonna reach out to her
Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)22:58:59 No.62742292 1619957713074.jpg (63 KB, 680x679) google yandex iqdb wait >>62743722 >>62749620 >at a rave >7.5/10 approaches me and starts flirting >buy her a drink >smoking a c-------- with her >guy approaches >"oh this is my bf haha" >completely ignore the girl and chat with the guy >girl gives me her number I do n associate with thots >not gonna reach out to her

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Anon touches grass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Guys am I broken? 07/25/21(Sun)06:52:50 No.64705304 >go outside >McDonalds nugget time >see the spitting image of the basedjak there >l say hey did you start working here cause of the Schezwan 69 KB JPG sauce? >lts not gonna come back no matter how often you post on Reddit >he says dude what? Anyway here are you nuggets >angry at his dismal of me >l say you know what I mean >like the funny meme from a bit ago >dude that was 5 years ago Was 2016 really 5 f------ years ago? No way right? I know how f------ long a year is and thats too short. Are years being sped up to deny us of our youth and get us to wage slave faster? 10 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)07:14:38 No.64705483 >>64705304 (OP) # >be OP >10 years from now >see an amputee with no arms >look him straight in the eyes >"amogus." >>64705495 #
: Anonymous Guys am I broken? 07/25/21(Sun)06:52:50 No.64705304 >go outside >McDonalds nugget time >see the spitting image of the basedjak there >l say hey did you start working here cause of the Schezwan 69 KB JPG sauce? >lts not gonna come back no matter how often you post on Reddit >he says dude what? Anyway here are you nuggets >angry at his dismal of me >l say you know what I mean >like the funny meme from a bit ago >dude that was 5 years ago Was 2016 really 5 f------ years ago? No way right? I know how f------ long a year is and thats too short. Are years being sped up to deny us of our youth and get us to wage slave faster? 10 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)07:14:38 No.64705483 >>64705304 (OP) # >be OP >10 years from now >see an amputee with no arms >look him straight in the eyes >"amogus." >>64705495 #

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Anon is disappointed | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)10:06:52 No.16398753 File: 1597772991157.jpg (27 KB, 600x600) >>16397611 (OP)# >be on road trip >in texas >decide to stop at a steakhouse in east texas b------ nowhere >they have a salad bar >pasta salad >marshmallow salad >potato salad >macaroni salad >fruit salad with whipped cream >there's no vegetables at the salad bar
O Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)10:06:52 No.16398753 File: 1597772991157.jpg (27 KB, 600x600) >>16397611 (OP)# >be on road trip >in texas >decide to stop at a steakhouse in east texas b------ nowhere >they have a salad bar >pasta salad >marshmallow salad >potato salad >macaroni salad >fruit salad with whipped cream >there's no vegetables at the salad bar

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Anon finds happiness through Monkeys | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [I Auto] File: 2ae9sg5z57161.jpg (150 KB, 1538x1920) Pros of Monke Cons of Monke I Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)07:45:28 No.859709433 >>859710185 >>859710785 >>859710879 >be me >Be depressed loser with no direction >Sadface >Randomly see return to monke meme >You know that's actually kinda funny >Start researching more about chimps and gorrilas Hey these guys are actually really cool >Want to learn more >Decide I'm going back to school for zoology >Apply for internship at zoo to work with gorrilas >While there meet a cute girl who works with tigers >Eventually planning on going to the congo for research Thank u monke very cool >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)08:10:51 No.859710185 >>859709433 (OP) Based anon accepted monke's embrace >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)08:28:38 No.859710785 >>859709433 (OP) I really really like Monkeys.
[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [I Auto] File: 2ae9sg5z57161.jpg (150 KB, 1538x1920) Pros of Monke Cons of Monke I Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)07:45:28 No.859709433 >>859710185 >>859710785 >>859710879 >be me >Be depressed loser with no direction >Sadface >Randomly see return to monke meme >You know that's actually kinda funny >Start researching more about chimps and gorrilas Hey these guys are actually really cool >Want to learn more >Decide I'm going back to school for zoology >Apply for internship at zoo to work with gorrilas >While there meet a cute girl who works with tigers >Eventually planning on going to the congo for research Thank u monke very cool >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)08:10:51 No.859710185 >>859709433 (OP) Based anon accepted monke's embrace >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)08:28:38 No.859710785 >>859709433 (OP) I really really like Monkeys.

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Anon's life is permanently changed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 Cooooooooom > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and leans close 23 KB JPG > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life
: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 Cooooooooom > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and leans close 23 KB JPG > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life

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Beau diddly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)09:57:10 No.62750025 >be in a large hotel aqua park with gf >gf has epilepsy >suddenly has an attack in the water >I take her out, lifeguard comes and asks if we'd manage to carry 492 KB PNG her to his office so he doesn't lie on the edge of the swimming pool >bridal carry her 100m barefoot on the slippery floor myself Being /fit/ enough to help those you care about is a good feeling.
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)09:57:10 No.62750025 >be in a large hotel aqua park with gf >gf has epilepsy >suddenly has an attack in the water >I take her out, lifeguard comes and asks if we'd manage to carry 492 KB PNG her to his office so he doesn't lie on the edge of the swimming pool >bridal carry her 100m barefoot on the slippery floor myself Being /fit/ enough to help those you care about is a good feeling.

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anon gets confused | /r/Greentext

Who's the most retarded girl you ever slept with? I'll go first >in college >get to know qt in a friendgroup >she's an international student >says she has a boyfriend at home >still tries to get her hands on my d--- EVERY SINGLE TIME our common 6.9 kB JPG friend group meets >eventually decide to go with it >first time sex >she tells me that she doesn't want to cheat >tells me it's not considered cheating if the guy doesn't c-- while inside her >dafuq.jpg >she's still allowed to c-- though, I just have to finish myself off everytime >feeling lowkey cucked but I study STEM so l'll take anything I can get >f--- like rabbits for a few weeks >One she sits on top of me when i want to pull out >get mucle cramp >cantgetup.avi >c-- inside her >not even raw just into my condom >she realizes what happened >starts ugly crying >slaps me >screams: "why did you make me cheat on my boyfriend >mfw pic related >only have sex a few times after that but eventually seize contact >3 months later hits me up and tells me she "could imagine being in a serious relationship with me" >?? Why are women like this?
Who's the most retarded girl you ever slept with? I'll go first >in college >get to know qt in a friendgroup >she's an international student >says she has a boyfriend at home >still tries to get her hands on my d--- EVERY SINGLE TIME our common 6.9 kB JPG friend group meets >eventually decide to go with it >first time sex >she tells me that she doesn't want to cheat >tells me it's not considered cheating if the guy doesn't c-- while inside her >dafuq.jpg >she's still allowed to c-- though, I just have to finish myself off everytime >feeling lowkey cucked but I study STEM so l'll take anything I can get >f--- like rabbits for a few weeks >One she sits on top of me when i want to pull out >get mucle cramp >cantgetup.avi >c-- inside her >not even raw just into my condom >she realizes what happened >starts ugly crying >slaps me >screams: "why did you make me cheat on my boyfriend >mfw pic related >only have sex a few times after that but eventually seize contact >3 months later hits me up and tells me she "could imagine being in a serious relationship with me" >?? Why are women like this?

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Anon forgets the stick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)03:39:23 No.64716170 > be me > Live in Sydney australia > Decide to go on walk > Forget my spider clearing stick Any ausfags relate? 149 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)03:39:23 No.64716170 > be me > Live in Sydney australia > Decide to go on walk > Forget my spider clearing stick Any ausfags relate? 149 KB JPG

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When the impostor is cis! | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)01:57:26 No.20646288 9084BAB6-2752-45E4-98F1-7AA02FA1B196.jpg 113 KB JPG >be cis man >feeling down >go to FtM online support group >post selfies >"omg you're so handsome!!" >"you look so strong" >"how did you get so handsome" >rinse and repeat whenever I'm feeling insecure
| Anonymous 05/21/21(Fri)01:57:26 No.20646288 9084BAB6-2752-45E4-98F1-7AA02FA1B196.jpg 113 KB JPG >be cis man >feeling down >go to FtM online support group >post selfies >"omg you're so handsome!!" >"you look so strong" >"how did you get so handsome" >rinse and repeat whenever I'm feeling insecure

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Anon is disturbed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)19:35:03 No.859677746 >be me >sitting in restaurant eating sandwich >look over at Puerto Rican looking guy across the way >he ordered a baked potato >proceeds to tear into the f------ thing like a velociraptor eviscerating a poodle, or a 45 KB JPG hunk of bread >no knife and fork, or napkin, in f------ sight >Captain Caveman eats the entire thing skin and all >soon there is nothing left that would ever indicate there had ever been a baked potato, the neanderthal literally ate the entire potato out of existence I'm deeply disturbed. What the f---? Who eats a baked potato like this?
: Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)19:35:03 No.859677746 >be me >sitting in restaurant eating sandwich >look over at Puerto Rican looking guy across the way >he ordered a baked potato >proceeds to tear into the f------ thing like a velociraptor eviscerating a poodle, or a 45 KB JPG hunk of bread >no knife and fork, or napkin, in f------ sight >Captain Caveman eats the entire thing skin and all >soon there is nothing left that would ever indicate there had ever been a baked potato, the neanderthal literally ate the entire potato out of existence I'm deeply disturbed. What the f---? Who eats a baked potato like this?

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Anon has superpowers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)00:11:11 No.859695225 >Introvert with no friends >decides to play Battlefield 1 because I recently went to the National WWI museum >checks looking for group posts >only 1 post that needs 1 more 13 KB JPG person >instantly denied >mfw I have a superpower that telepathically informs people that l'm an awful person
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)00:11:11 No.859695225 >Introvert with no friends >decides to play Battlefield 1 because I recently went to the National WWI museum >checks looking for group posts >only 1 post that needs 1 more 13 KB JPG person >instantly denied >mfw I have a superpower that telepathically informs people that l'm an awful person

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American Beau-tweet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)19:35:43 No.64712153 >go on a bunch of onlyfans top girls twitter pages >most of the replies to their posts are from 25-50 year old men saying cringe lewd stuff and their creepy sexual fantasies >click on their profiles >most of them are married and 12 KB JPG have pictures together of their wife and kids Blackpilled again. Men are scum.
: Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)19:35:43 No.64712153 >go on a bunch of onlyfans top girls twitter pages >most of the replies to their posts are from 25-50 year old men saying cringe lewd stuff and their creepy sexual fantasies >click on their profiles >most of them are married and 12 KB JPG have pictures together of their wife and kids Blackpilled again. Men are scum.

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Anon fucks up tremendously | /r/Greentext

i f----- up, didn't i? >have office job >boss tells me about new employee >meet her >8/10 cutie >she asks my name i ask her 7 KB PNG >her name is "candice" >think if gonna get pranked >say "yeah haha candice d--- fit in yo mouth" >she looks disgusted >says "ugh" and walks to boss' office >writing this at my desk, am i f-----?
i f----- up, didn't i? >have office job >boss tells me about new employee >meet her >8/10 cutie >she asks my name i ask her 7 KB PNG >her name is "candice" >think if gonna get pranked >say "yeah haha candice d--- fit in yo mouth" >she looks disgusted >says "ugh" and walks to boss' office >writing this at my desk, am i f-----?

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Anon visits his sister. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)03:58:06 No.64716305 >visit sister >play with little nephews 5 and 7 in playground >little girl 11 or 12 approaches me >"do you want to make out?" >stutter out a no thanks >she walks away the f--- happened here? Was this one of 382 KB PNG those girls with bad youth who ends up in prostitution? why did no girl ask me this when i was 12?
Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)03:58:06 No.64716305 >visit sister >play with little nephews 5 and 7 in playground >little girl 11 or 12 approaches me >"do you want to make out?" >stutter out a no thanks >she walks away the f--- happened here? Was this one of 382 KB PNG those girls with bad youth who ends up in prostitution? why did no girl ask me this when i was 12?

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anon have a huge problem | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 767574672 31 min. geleden •.. >be me >have every success in life but one huge problem >own a handful of hotels in exotic locations >business is good >have everything i've ever wanted >but 66,3 kB PNG >wife is very sick >wife is dying >doctors can try to treat her but will be risky and expensive >or donate her body to science to cure disease for others >first treatment, sell my hotel in cancun to pay for it >doesn't work >second treatment, sell chain of vacation homes in florida >doesn't work >third treatment, even more risky then first two operations >have to sell 3 more hotels and all-incusive resort properties >doesn't work >she may end up on the autopsy table at this rate >at least in death she can help others >eventually run out of properties to sell >doctors ask what i want to do >cut my wife into peices this is my last resort
Anonymous | 767574672 31 min. geleden •.. >be me >have every success in life but one huge problem >own a handful of hotels in exotic locations >business is good >have everything i've ever wanted >but 66,3 kB PNG >wife is very sick >wife is dying >doctors can try to treat her but will be risky and expensive >or donate her body to science to cure disease for others >first treatment, sell my hotel in cancun to pay for it >doesn't work >second treatment, sell chain of vacation homes in florida >doesn't work >third treatment, even more risky then first two operations >have to sell 3 more hotels and all-incusive resort properties >doesn't work >she may end up on the autopsy table at this rate >at least in death she can help others >eventually run out of properties to sell >doctors ask what i want to do >cut my wife into peices this is my last resort

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Anon is lazy | /r/Greentext


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Anon knows romance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)13:00:07 No.148034420 >>148034061 (OP) # >helo pretti lady >hi >you slep? >hi 22 KB JPG >love >send bab >hello i f--- u strong >vagena clean hair? >c--- bitch
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)13:00:07 No.148034420 >>148034061 (OP) # >helo pretti lady >hi >you slep? >hi 22 KB JPG >love >send bab >hello i f--- u strong >vagena clean hair? >c--- bitch

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Anon Gets a Visit From the Panties Fairy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/21(Sun)22:59:38 No.64627030 >masturbated with my mom's panties in a T WE moment of weakness >stuffed them in hamper and hoped she didnt find out CN >came home from work today >mom talked to me like normal so think I'm 110 KB JPG in the clear >then find pack of several new panties in my dresser If she knew why did she do this instead of just kicking me out
: Anonymous 07/18/21(Sun)22:59:38 No.64627030 >masturbated with my mom's panties in a T WE moment of weakness >stuffed them in hamper and hoped she didnt find out CN >came home from work today >mom talked to me like normal so think I'm 110 KB JPG in the clear >then find pack of several new panties in my dresser If she knew why did she do this instead of just kicking me out

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Anon listens to African American gentlemen in Paris | /r/Greentext

File: gigachad.jpg (65 KB, 1068x601) O Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)22:15:18 No.859667165 >be white >listen to n----- in Paris >some schoolmate ask me what i am listening to >say n----- in Paris by Kanye and Jay-z >she gets offended >i continue to listen to the song Kanye knew this title would filter the weak
File: gigachad.jpg (65 KB, 1068x601) O Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)22:15:18 No.859667165 >be white >listen to n----- in Paris >some schoolmate ask me what i am listening to >say n----- in Paris by Kanye and Jay-z >she gets offended >i continue to listen to the song Kanye knew this title would filter the weak

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Anon has twin siblings | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)07:00:55 No.64713259 >Younger twin siblings are f------ each other again. I'm tired of beating them at this point. It's like they do this out of spite now. 6 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)07:00:55 No.64713259 >Younger twin siblings are f------ each other again. I'm tired of beating them at this point. It's like they do this out of spite now. 6 KB JPG

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