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Anon watches PG Battle Royale | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/21(Sun)13:00:58 No.15377511 ggfddf.png 3.69 MB PNG >l'm rock hard Katniss
: Anonymous 07/18/21(Sun)13:00:58 No.15377511 ggfddf.png 3.69 MB PNG >l'm rock hard Katniss

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Anon still thinks he's got choices | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)22:52:22 No.64304713 1636565794574.jpg 1.59 MB JPG >top half looks like a guy >bottom half looks like a girl which path should i take fit bros? which is easier : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)22:53:10 No.64304721 >>64304713 (OP) # Don't flatter yourself, both halves look like a fat guy. >>64304732 # >>64304733 # >>64305012 # >>64305257 # >>64307375 #
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)22:52:22 No.64304713 1636565794574.jpg 1.59 MB JPG >top half looks like a guy >bottom half looks like a girl which path should i take fit bros? which is easier : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)22:53:10 No.64304721 >>64304713 (OP) # Don't flatter yourself, both halves look like a fat guy. >>64304732 # >>64304733 # >>64305012 # >>64305257 # >>64307375 #

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Anon gets a gf from a haircut | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No. 66105809 1 hour ago coolfade.png PNG 142.9 KiB 372x368 >be me >never had a girl hit on me >go to barber >only go once every 2 months or so >"the usual?" >he remembers me? >feel special as barber gives me the usual >does not give me the usual >must have confused me with someone else >no longer feel special >get on train home >qt 3.14 gets on train and sits opposite me >small talk >get qt 3.14s instagram before I get off >get home >she likes pic I posted of haircut >decide to message her >flirt for a bit >dontfuckup,dontfuckup,dontfuckup! >mfw im going on a date friday night Just get a fade, it looks chad and pulls
Anonymous No. 66105809 1 hour ago coolfade.png PNG 142.9 KiB 372x368 >be me >never had a girl hit on me >go to barber >only go once every 2 months or so >"the usual?" >he remembers me? >feel special as barber gives me the usual >does not give me the usual >must have confused me with someone else >no longer feel special >get on train home >qt 3.14 gets on train and sits opposite me >small talk >get qt 3.14s instagram before I get off >get home >she likes pic I posted of haircut >decide to message her >flirt for a bit >dontfuckup,dontfuckup,dontfuckup! >mfw im going on a date friday night Just get a fade, it looks chad and pulls

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Anon is a coomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)02:41:30 No.65173498 >be f------ me >mom tells me about black mirror and recommends one episode >keeps talking about it and decide to watch it so she shuts the hell up >its about some coomer that gets 38 KB JPG blackmailed because he watched loli p--- >tell her it was cool >tells me it reminded her of me Anons what the f--- did she mean by that? What the f--- does she know?
: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)02:41:30 No.65173498 >be f------ me >mom tells me about black mirror and recommends one episode >keeps talking about it and decide to watch it so she shuts the hell up >its about some coomer that gets 38 KB JPG blackmailed because he watched loli p--- >tell her it was cool >tells me it reminded her of me Anons what the f--- did she mean by that? What the f--- does she know?

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Anon tries to spare his friends | /r/Greentext

>be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and I'm bored as s--- >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol >next day I get called into the 19 KB JPG guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that I'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday
>be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and I'm bored as s--- >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol >next day I get called into the 19 KB JPG guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that I'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday

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Anon watches a video | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/19(Thu)17:26:24 No.73868948 >be a large company >have an idea >"what if we made top ten videos, people love top ten videos!" >put little to no effort into top ten video watchmojo >be universally hated >be YouTube after releasing the 16 KB PNG 2019 YouTube Rewind pic unrelated
: Anonymous 12/05/19(Thu)17:26:24 No.73868948 >be a large company >have an idea >"what if we made top ten videos, people love top ten videos!" >put little to no effort into top ten video watchmojo >be universally hated >be YouTube after releasing the 16 KB PNG 2019 YouTube Rewind pic unrelated

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Anon is a hat fan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/02/21(Tue)18:02:29 No.865960947 >be hat fan >everyone knows i like hats > aunt gives me a hat >it's a nice hat >hats are so cool Share hat experiences anons 72 KB PNG 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 11/02/21(Tue)18:02:29 No.865960947 >be hat fan >everyone knows i like hats > aunt gives me a hat >it's a nice hat >hats are so cool Share hat experiences anons 72 KB PNG 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon gets saved | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)17:05:57 No.50269284 >be me >was actually going to an hero >decide to jump off bridge nearby my hometown >standing on ledge at 1 in the morning when i hear 268 KB JPG tires screech behind me >i turn around and see a pizza guy walking toward me telling me not to do it >yeahwhateverhearditabilliontimes.mp3 >see he has tears in his eyes >tells me that he lost his brother to suicide years ago and hes always felt like he needed to stop someone else's suicide >actually pretty moved by his story, i have a little bro >invites me into his car and offers me the pizza he has >drives me back to his home after calling his boss and telling him about the circumstances >all the while he's shooting the s--- and cracking me up, really chill guy >we get to an apartment downtown and he offers me to stay the night >open the door to his roommates drinking beer and playing mario kart >laugh and game with them >next morning we part ways and he gives me his phone number and tells me i can come back whenever i want >bus home, tell mom and dad i was out with friends
: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)17:05:57 No.50269284 >be me >was actually going to an hero >decide to jump off bridge nearby my hometown >standing on ledge at 1 in the morning when i hear 268 KB JPG tires screech behind me >i turn around and see a pizza guy walking toward me telling me not to do it >yeahwhateverhearditabilliontimes.mp3 >see he has tears in his eyes >tells me that he lost his brother to suicide years ago and hes always felt like he needed to stop someone else's suicide >actually pretty moved by his story, i have a little bro >invites me into his car and offers me the pizza he has >drives me back to his home after calling his boss and telling him about the circumstances >all the while he's shooting the s--- and cracking me up, really chill guy >we get to an apartment downtown and he offers me to stay the night >open the door to his roommates drinking beer and playing mario kart >laugh and game with them >next morning we part ways and he gives me his phone number and tells me i can come back whenever i want >bus home, tell mom and dad i was out with friends

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Anon is...a unique person | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 11/06/18(Tue)07:36:39 No.49124935 >target bathroom cause surprise s--- >dropped multiple logs, and don't feel close to finished >stall next to me seems to be having similar troubles >or at least, that's what all those 765 KB PNG grunting, panting, and leg spasms are telling me >suddenly see their hand slide underneath the stall, beckoning for something >mfw >don't understand what it wants >so I simply squat over it, and dropped a hot, steaming log >"WHAT THE FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!?!?!?" >he flips out; shaking and banging on the walls like he's having a seizure >won't stop screaming, also >he finally kicks his stall door open, and runs off like he found a ghost >mfw still >it wasn't until I got home, did I realize he was beckoning for another roll toilet paper I'm so f------ retarded. 7 Replies /2 Images View Thread
E Anonymous 11/06/18(Tue)07:36:39 No.49124935 >target bathroom cause surprise s--- >dropped multiple logs, and don't feel close to finished >stall next to me seems to be having similar troubles >or at least, that's what all those 765 KB PNG grunting, panting, and leg spasms are telling me >suddenly see their hand slide underneath the stall, beckoning for something >mfw >don't understand what it wants >so I simply squat over it, and dropped a hot, steaming log >"WHAT THE FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!?!?!?" >he flips out; shaking and banging on the walls like he's having a seizure >won't stop screaming, also >he finally kicks his stall door open, and runs off like he found a ghost >mfw still >it wasn't until I got home, did I realize he was beckoning for another roll toilet paper I'm so f------ retarded. 7 Replies /2 Images View Thread

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Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/01/21(Wed)20:42:29 No.63309631 >>63293020 (OP) # >be in gym >flexing in mirror to see if I made progress >dude walks in 18 KB JPG >"good job man"
: Anonymous 09/01/21(Wed)20:42:29 No.63309631 >>63293020 (OP) # >be in gym >flexing in mirror to see if I made progress >dude walks in 18 KB JPG >"good job man"

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Pit fighter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)11:26:09 No.66103355 >29 year old boomer h----- called me weird because I started licking her armpits during sex and gave me a disgusted look like | was a weird pathetic creature shut the F--- up slut you literally drink semen for money you've had c-- on your face more times than i've poured milk in my cereal bowel stop shaming me for me 242 KB PNG relatively mild sexual fetish
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)11:26:09 No.66103355 >29 year old boomer h----- called me weird because I started licking her armpits during sex and gave me a disgusted look like | was a weird pathetic creature shut the F--- up slut you literally drink semen for money you've had c-- on your face more times than i've poured milk in my cereal bowel stop shaming me for me 242 KB PNG relatively mild sexual fetish

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Preferred pronouns she/was | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)04:25:54 No.66100058 >normie girl with a promising career and a good life ahead of her finds out I'm on medication for my anxiety and depression >becomes interested in me >doesn't stop trying to touch me and hold hands with me 12 KB JPG >keeps asking me out to the movies >texts me every day What the f--- are wrong with these w-----? Holy f---. It's like she wants me to ruin her life or something.
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)04:25:54 No.66100058 >normie girl with a promising career and a good life ahead of her finds out I'm on medication for my anxiety and depression >becomes interested in me >doesn't stop trying to touch me and hold hands with me 12 KB JPG >keeps asking me out to the movies >texts me every day What the f--- are wrong with these w-----? Holy f---. It's like she wants me to ruin her life or something.

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Cursed quest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)09:28:23 No.66102307 >be me about 5 years ago >sit next to the weird Polish kid in secondary school science >tell him about my explorations of the dark web >He asks me what kind of illegal stuff is on there 13 KB JPG >Go through the list and he stops me at Cheese Pizza >asks me where he can find that >I say I don't know because I don't look for it >he says he wants to find it because he would prefer jacking off to people aged 14-16 >He literally comes back to me every day telling me of his search for chese pizza >mfw : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)09:41:24 No.66102423 >>66102307 (OP) # you should have beaten him to death with a battery in a sock.
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)09:28:23 No.66102307 >be me about 5 years ago >sit next to the weird Polish kid in secondary school science >tell him about my explorations of the dark web >He asks me what kind of illegal stuff is on there 13 KB JPG >Go through the list and he stops me at Cheese Pizza >asks me where he can find that >I say I don't know because I don't look for it >he says he wants to find it because he would prefer jacking off to people aged 14-16 >He literally comes back to me every day telling me of his search for chese pizza >mfw : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)09:41:24 No.66102423 >>66102307 (OP) # you should have beaten him to death with a battery in a sock.

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A dim bulb brightens | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)07:46:07 No.66101408 >be me >bored >lurk on crystalcafe >observe female behavior out of pure curiosity >tfw I realize they talk just like us minus the jargon differences 7 KB JPG >tfw they're literally human Holy f------ s---. My whole worldview has just been shattered. I'm utterly ruined. I've just now realized I've been projecting my negative qualities onto the opposite sex without even acknowledging it. Incelbros what do I do now? : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)07:49:55 No.66101434 Upvoted! That's some great reddit content right there! >>66101520 #
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)07:46:07 No.66101408 >be me >bored >lurk on crystalcafe >observe female behavior out of pure curiosity >tfw I realize they talk just like us minus the jargon differences 7 KB JPG >tfw they're literally human Holy f------ s---. My whole worldview has just been shattered. I'm utterly ruined. I've just now realized I've been projecting my negative qualities onto the opposite sex without even acknowledging it. Incelbros what do I do now? : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)07:49:55 No.66101434 Upvoted! That's some great reddit content right there! >>66101520 #

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Anon done did it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/16/19(Wed)16:46:41 No.811959173 >be me >white boy from USA >visiting Mexico >one night trying to sleep honk >3 AM and a bunch of f----- b------ with instruments roll through >loudest f------ s--- ever 77 KB JPG >pisses me right tf off >lean out the window and shout QUIETE PUTAS >friend comes running up stairs >ANON W-- ARE YOU DOING > I'm like what >he says THATS THE TOWNS BIGGEST DRUG LORD OVER THERE AND THAT BAND WAS PLAYING FOR HIM >look outside and see everyone has put away their instruments and replaced them with guns >this is it boys >today I take the fight to the b------ Mfw I realize this is it Mfw this will be my last greentext
: Anonymous 10/16/19(Wed)16:46:41 No.811959173 >be me >white boy from USA >visiting Mexico >one night trying to sleep honk >3 AM and a bunch of f----- b------ with instruments roll through >loudest f------ s--- ever 77 KB JPG >pisses me right tf off >lean out the window and shout QUIETE PUTAS >friend comes running up stairs >ANON W-- ARE YOU DOING > I'm like what >he says THATS THE TOWNS BIGGEST DRUG LORD OVER THERE AND THAT BAND WAS PLAYING FOR HIM >look outside and see everyone has put away their instruments and replaced them with guns >this is it boys >today I take the fight to the b------ Mfw I realize this is it Mfw this will be my last greentext

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Anon creates potential future issues | /r/Greentext

>played Red Dead Redemption with autistic 8yo step-sister >all she did was walk around skinning animals and giggling >mfw she killed a prostitute and asked me why she couldn't skin 1.48 MB GIF her
>played Red Dead Redemption with autistic 8yo step-sister >all she did was walk around skinning animals and giggling >mfw she killed a prostitute and asked me why she couldn't skin 1.48 MB GIF her

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Anon is a kung foo fighter | /r/Greentext

Anyone got any good stories there parents told them about high school? I'll go first. >mom tells me about this asian kid in her school 243 KB JPG >he was a very quiet and nice kid, never hurt a fly >group of people always bully him >kid never talked or tried to fight back >they continued to bully the kid for weeks >one day they spit gum in his hair >kid gets up and leaves to use bathroom and to make a phone call >fast forward to after school >my mom and her brother are outside talking >kid is getting bullied >van pulls up and kid laughs >group of asian's get out of van >few have baseball bat's >start beating on the guys in the group as the girls scream >few girls try and stop the asians but they get bitch slapped or elbowed in the face >mom says that her and her brother just watched with there jaws dropped >guy bullies lay on floor while girls continue to scream and cry >van drives away with the group of asians >asian kid never got bullied >yakuza 1, bullies 0
Anyone got any good stories there parents told them about high school? I'll go first. >mom tells me about this asian kid in her school 243 KB JPG >he was a very quiet and nice kid, never hurt a fly >group of people always bully him >kid never talked or tried to fight back >they continued to bully the kid for weeks >one day they spit gum in his hair >kid gets up and leaves to use bathroom and to make a phone call >fast forward to after school >my mom and her brother are outside talking >kid is getting bullied >van pulls up and kid laughs >group of asian's get out of van >few have baseball bat's >start beating on the guys in the group as the girls scream >few girls try and stop the asians but they get bitch slapped or elbowed in the face >mom says that her and her brother just watched with there jaws dropped >guy bullies lay on floor while girls continue to scream and cry >van drives away with the group of asians >asian kid never got bullied >yakuza 1, bullies 0

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Anon likes Dragonflies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/05/21(Tue)13:35:21 No.3944815 Dragonflies are some of my favorite invertebrates, and I'll explain why. >go fishing up north >a place called moon river in the georgian bay area, very beautiful with all the amazing rock formations 216 KB JPG >a bit of a pain in the ass because we had horse flies chasing us the whole time and being a real pain in the ass >end up coming onto a rock face where there was almost a swarm of dragonflies >they ended up f------ aerial assaulting the flies and eating them >was literally watching them take them out of the sky like dog fighters I don't even know what to say... Dragonflies, you are BASED. 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 10/05/21(Tue)13:35:21 No.3944815 Dragonflies are some of my favorite invertebrates, and I'll explain why. >go fishing up north >a place called moon river in the georgian bay area, very beautiful with all the amazing rock formations 216 KB JPG >a bit of a pain in the ass because we had horse flies chasing us the whole time and being a real pain in the ass >end up coming onto a rock face where there was almost a swarm of dragonflies >they ended up f------ aerial assaulting the flies and eating them >was literally watching them take them out of the sky like dog fighters I don't even know what to say... Dragonflies, you are BASED. 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Start trying to make fetch happen | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)04:30:35 No.66100083 >in vc with egirl in a discord server >everyone left, its just us >i ask her to add me on steam >"no" >???? >"why?" >"i just wanted to add you?" 227 KB JPG >she goes quiet for a second >"beg." >"what" >"if you really want me to add you then beg me for it" >IMMEDIATE BONER guys i think there's something wrong with me
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)04:30:35 No.66100083 >in vc with egirl in a discord server >everyone left, its just us >i ask her to add me on steam >"no" >???? >"why?" >"i just wanted to add you?" 227 KB JPG >she goes quiet for a second >"beg." >"what" >"if you really want me to add you then beg me for it" >IMMEDIATE BONER guys i think there's something wrong with me

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Anon chats with his coworkers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)06:13:44 No.66100333 >be office lunch >coworkers are (for some reason) talking about how many sexual partners they've had >despite being the quiet incel type, I've actually had 8 girls in my entire life 21 KB JPG >so mention that I've slept with 8 people while getting something from the fridge >one coworker: "escorts don't count, silly." everyone snickers >me (taking slight offense): "your cousins don't count either, cheryl" >for some reason, I'm the one who gets in trouble
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)06:13:44 No.66100333 >be office lunch >coworkers are (for some reason) talking about how many sexual partners they've had >despite being the quiet incel type, I've actually had 8 girls in my entire life 21 KB JPG >so mention that I've slept with 8 people while getting something from the fridge >one coworker: "escorts don't count, silly." everyone snickers >me (taking slight offense): "your cousins don't count either, cheryl" >for some reason, I'm the one who gets in trouble

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