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Anon attempts to exploit community service | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)20:25:40 No.866487123 >trying to get into grad school >needed references >guilt tripped by my mom to be honest about it >got volunteer gig at food bank >the supervisor asks me why im volunteering 13 KB JPG >tell him its to get a reference from them >weeks pass >sink roughly 80 hours into volunteer work >ask supervisor for that reference >ill try my best paraphrasing what he said >"no. not now, not ever. these are people need and they're just a means to and end to you. i hope you learn a lesson from this" >yeah i sure learned a lesson >that honesty gets you nowhere >i should have just b---------- the references
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)20:25:40 No.866487123 >trying to get into grad school >needed references >guilt tripped by my mom to be honest about it >got volunteer gig at food bank >the supervisor asks me why im volunteering 13 KB JPG >tell him its to get a reference from them >weeks pass >sink roughly 80 hours into volunteer work >ask supervisor for that reference >ill try my best paraphrasing what he said >"no. not now, not ever. these are people need and they're just a means to and end to you. i hope you learn a lesson from this" >yeah i sure learned a lesson >that honesty gets you nowhere >i should have just b---------- the references

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Anon watches south park | /r/Greentext

File: OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY!.jpg (46 KB, 976x1024) U Anonymous 11/03/21(Wed)15:21:19 No.126783384 >OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY! >YOU BASTARDS!
File: OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY!.jpg (46 KB, 976x1024) U Anonymous 11/03/21(Wed)15:21:19 No.126783384 >OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY! >YOU BASTARDS!

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Anon doesn't know how to approach | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous This must all be a cosmic joke 11/11/21(Thu)16:25:15 No.25274638 >6"4 >8" d--- >white >7/10 on soc >almost unfucked my social anxiety and skills >still only met one woman every 3 months because I refuse to cold approach, and only seek them through friends. >finaly almost lost v card at club but f--- it up with my 26 KB PNG inaction WHERE THE F--- do you fucbois that f--- 100 women in a year find all of them to approach.
: Anonymous This must all be a cosmic joke 11/11/21(Thu)16:25:15 No.25274638 >6"4 >8" d--- >white >7/10 on soc >almost unfucked my social anxiety and skills >still only met one woman every 3 months because I refuse to cold approach, and only seek them through friends. >finaly almost lost v card at club but f--- it up with my 26 KB PNG inaction WHERE THE F--- do you fucbois that f--- 100 women in a year find all of them to approach.

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Anon will have an awkward dinner conversation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)10:49:47 No.64579795 >get new mirror on inside of door >Checking myself out all nakey in new mirror > Look at a------ >A------ is all red >Spread cheeks and bend over to get 373 KB PNG better look at red a------ >Mom opens door suddenly >Sees me bent over spreading and flexing my a------ >"Sorry" closes door What do I do now
: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)10:49:47 No.64579795 >get new mirror on inside of door >Checking myself out all nakey in new mirror > Look at a------ >A------ is all red >Spread cheeks and bend over to get 373 KB PNG better look at red a------ >Mom opens door suddenly >Sees me bent over spreading and flexing my a------ >"Sorry" closes door What do I do now

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Anon responds to an ad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/21(Sat)10:33:16 No.848945557 >be me, home alone >family is out >browsing /b/ >see an advertisement that says "GET A HUGE C--- IN LESS THAN A DAY" >l'm lacking in the meat 150 KB PNG department, so I click on it >loading >says "Thank you, your order has been received" >I didn't put any info in >hear the front door slam open >yell "hey guys how was the shopping?" >no response >just high pitched giggles >small footsteps, then a thud >the r--- dwarf is coming >mfw
: Anonymous 03/06/21(Sat)10:33:16 No.848945557 >be me, home alone >family is out >browsing /b/ >see an advertisement that says "GET A HUGE C--- IN LESS THAN A DAY" >l'm lacking in the meat 150 KB PNG department, so I click on it >loading >says "Thank you, your order has been received" >I didn't put any info in >hear the front door slam open >yell "hey guys how was the shopping?" >no response >just high pitched giggles >small footsteps, then a thud >the r--- dwarf is coming >mfw

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Anon gets Grindrpilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)06:49:51 No.52252534 >Use Tinder WHAT THE F--- >No Matches >Use Grindr >Instantly get a message every couple minutes Should I just be gay? 60 KB JPG 21 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)06:49:51 No.52252534 >Use Tinder WHAT THE F--- >No Matches >Use Grindr >Instantly get a message every couple minutes Should I just be gay? 60 KB JPG 21 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon learns Spanish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)14:10:05 No.66115007 >Be me >Decided to learn Spanish >Installed this app called Duolingo >The more you learn the more XP you gain so you can feel good about yourself >You can compare your XP with others and see yourself on the leaderboard >F--- it, might as well try >l'm a hard-working guy so it shouldn't be a problem >Start learning, not even that much, 1 hour a day >Climbing up the ranks pretty fast >Eventually I come across a user called Magnus >He's pretty high up in the ranks, has a lot more XP compared to people >Has a lot more XP than me >The game is on >Study hard, 5 hours a day >Sometimes I would almost surpass him but somehow he would gain a ton of XP in a short amount of time >He is mocking me >I know he is >I need to retain my place >This isn't even about Spanish anymore >l study even harder >Finally surpass him after days of exercising >feelsgoodman.jpg >Right now I'm first place, but I feel he won't give up so easily >He is climbing again I won't give up so easily either. I'm watching you, Magnus. I'm f------ watching you.
Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)14:10:05 No.66115007 >Be me >Decided to learn Spanish >Installed this app called Duolingo >The more you learn the more XP you gain so you can feel good about yourself >You can compare your XP with others and see yourself on the leaderboard >F--- it, might as well try >l'm a hard-working guy so it shouldn't be a problem >Start learning, not even that much, 1 hour a day >Climbing up the ranks pretty fast >Eventually I come across a user called Magnus >He's pretty high up in the ranks, has a lot more XP compared to people >Has a lot more XP than me >The game is on >Study hard, 5 hours a day >Sometimes I would almost surpass him but somehow he would gain a ton of XP in a short amount of time >He is mocking me >I know he is >I need to retain my place >This isn't even about Spanish anymore >l study even harder >Finally surpass him after days of exercising >feelsgoodman.jpg >Right now I'm first place, but I feel he won't give up so easily >He is climbing again I won't give up so easily either. I'm watching you, Magnus. I'm f------ watching you.

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Absolute kino | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)16:30:14 No.159019347 the last airbender.png 356 KB PNG >Show up in film industry when nobody was asking for you >Become highest grossing film of all time >Promise a million sequels and deliver zero >Leave >Show up a decade later just to cuck Marvel out of getting highest grossing movie >Leave again >Nobody remembers a single line of dialogue
: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)16:30:14 No.159019347 the last airbender.png 356 KB PNG >Show up in film industry when nobody was asking for you >Become highest grossing film of all time >Promise a million sequels and deliver zero >Leave >Show up a decade later just to cuck Marvel out of getting highest grossing movie >Leave again >Nobody remembers a single line of dialogue

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Man’s best girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)05:47:59 No.66114418 >have gf >am playing with the dog cus he cute >gf then asks me "me or dog?" >answered dog with no hesitation >she flippin' out 101 KB JPG w-- is wrong with hoes man? like she set herself up don't blame it on me and pooch.
: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)05:47:59 No.66114418 >have gf >am playing with the dog cus he cute >gf then asks me "me or dog?" >answered dog with no hesitation >she flippin' out 101 KB JPG w-- is wrong with hoes man? like she set herself up don't blame it on me and pooch.

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Anon is a porn addict | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)19:13:42 No.857078125 my life is oficially ruined guys, I'm typing this from some f------ park l'm sleeping in. I'm too afraid to go back home, my family probably hates me now > thought i was home alone > decide to enjoy myself, it's been like a 122 KB JPG week since my last j------- session > grab my Mia Malkova fleshlight, my 10 inch rubber BBC and my nipple clamps > take the fattest f------ bong rip ever, and begin the preparations to f--- my anus > ffw a few minutes and im naked with a giant ruber c--- up my ass, f------ my fleshlight, and watching blacked > as i get closer to c------ i start moaning loud as f--- > F--- MY WHITE BUSSY DADDY > grandma hears me and comes into my room right as i'm busting a nut breaks down and cries right in front of me > cry too, say sorry > tells me to grab my things and get the f--- out > run what do i do now? I have no job, no friends, and probably no family now 51 Replies / 5 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)19:13:42 No.857078125 my life is oficially ruined guys, I'm typing this from some f------ park l'm sleeping in. I'm too afraid to go back home, my family probably hates me now > thought i was home alone > decide to enjoy myself, it's been like a 122 KB JPG week since my last j------- session > grab my Mia Malkova fleshlight, my 10 inch rubber BBC and my nipple clamps > take the fattest f------ bong rip ever, and begin the preparations to f--- my anus > ffw a few minutes and im naked with a giant ruber c--- up my ass, f------ my fleshlight, and watching blacked > as i get closer to c------ i start moaning loud as f--- > F--- MY WHITE BUSSY DADDY > grandma hears me and comes into my room right as i'm busting a nut breaks down and cries right in front of me > cry too, say sorry > tells me to grab my things and get the f--- out > run what do i do now? I have no job, no friends, and probably no family now 51 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon molests his assailant | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)09:52:45 No.21776907 ► >>21776923 >>21776935 >>21777562 >>21777570 Can you get into legal trouble if you r---- someone in self defense? O Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)09:55:24 No.21776935 ► >>21777122 >>21777142 >>21776907 (OP) >r---- someone in self defense op how the f--- do you do that O Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)10:13:30 No.21777122 > >>21777165 >>21777201 >>21777247 >>21777261 >>21777298 >>21777455 >>21777531 >21777592 >>21777641 >>21778521 >>21776935 >21 1 year old guy >going to last year in uni living in dorm >roommate with same person for 3 years >he comes out as an hrt femboy about 2 years ago >whatever dont care hes usually cool and i grew up around a liberal family >for the past few months he's been a noisy f--- and constantly playing music and stuff >tell him to lower the noise and at first he would listen but in the past few weeks he's been giving me a massive attitude about it, probably the female hormones >trying to study hard before the next school year so i can graduate next year with high GPA >he keeps blasting s----- pop music and dancing to it in dancing boots or something >go to his room and tell him to turn it down >he yells at me that im a c--- and to stop bossing him around and to f--- off because he's filming a video for tiktok or something >tell him >he refuses and screams some s--- at me lacting to turn it off because im studying >argument escalates into a fight >he is much weaker than me i guess because of the hormones so he grabs a mall ninja tier knife off his desk >wrestle him to the ground but he is still trying to stab me >trying to pin him down on his stomach but cant get a good position because he is trying to kick me and cut me >realize that he was wearing a short skirt and so i stick two fingers up his butthole >he screams but immediately stops fighting and drops the knife >not really sure how but my pants came off and i started f------ him Pnes too weak to >keep going push me off while he makes |begs >he's too and me to stop but im too angry to even think pathetic girly noises and trying to kick at me until i c-- inside him >c-- so hard it actually hurts and can feel my d--- throbbing inside him, he whimpers every time it does >some of it gets on his back and around him >post nut clarity kicks in, he is laying in a puddle of my c-- and realize what I did >run out without even wiping off my d--- grab my phone and run for it >typing this from other side of campus s------- myself /Igbt/
O Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)09:52:45 No.21776907 ► >>21776923 >>21776935 >>21777562 >>21777570 Can you get into legal trouble if you r---- someone in self defense? O Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)09:55:24 No.21776935 ► >>21777122 >>21777142 >>21776907 (OP) >r---- someone in self defense op how the f--- do you do that O Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)10:13:30 No.21777122 > >>21777165 >>21777201 >>21777247 >>21777261 >>21777298 >>21777455 >>21777531 >21777592 >>21777641 >>21778521 >>21776935 >21 1 year old guy >going to last year in uni living in dorm >roommate with same person for 3 years >he comes out as an hrt femboy about 2 years ago >whatever dont care hes usually cool and i grew up around a liberal family >for the past few months he's been a noisy f--- and constantly playing music and stuff >tell him to lower the noise and at first he would listen but in the past few weeks he's been giving me a massive attitude about it, probably the female hormones >trying to study hard before the next school year so i can graduate next year with high GPA >he keeps blasting s----- pop music and dancing to it in dancing boots or something >go to his room and tell him to turn it down >he yells at me that im a c--- and to stop bossing him around and to f--- off because he's filming a video for tiktok or something >tell him >he refuses and screams some s--- at me lacting to turn it off because im studying >argument escalates into a fight >he is much weaker than me i guess because of the hormones so he grabs a mall ninja tier knife off his desk >wrestle him to the ground but he is still trying to stab me >trying to pin him down on his stomach but cant get a good position because he is trying to kick me and cut me >realize that he was wearing a short skirt and so i stick two fingers up his butthole >he screams but immediately stops fighting and drops the knife >not really sure how but my pants came off and i started f------ him Pnes too weak to >keep going push me off while he makes |begs >he's too and me to stop but im too angry to even think pathetic girly noises and trying to kick at me until i c-- inside him >c-- so hard it actually hurts and can feel my d--- throbbing inside him, he whimpers every time it does >some of it gets on his back and around him >post nut clarity kicks in, he is laying in a puddle of my c-- and realize what I did >run out without even wiping off my d--- grab my phone and run for it >typing this from other side of campus s------- myself /Igbt/

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Can't wait for the future to arrive | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Year 2065 >Finish my daily ration cube of cricket paste >Get in futuristic electric Pathetic. 21 KB JPG car that forcibly takes me directly to work >Work 12 hour slave labour shift with consistent beatings to improve morality >Get back in futuristic electric car that forcibly takes me directly home >Greeted by my non binary they spouse and child >Inform me that when I think it's a hate crime Mfw
>Be me >Year 2065 >Finish my daily ration cube of cricket paste >Get in futuristic electric Pathetic. 21 KB JPG car that forcibly takes me directly to work >Work 12 hour slave labour shift with consistent beatings to improve morality >Get back in futuristic electric car that forcibly takes me directly home >Greeted by my non binary they spouse and child >Inform me that when I think it's a hate crime Mfw

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Anon gets trolled by his imagination | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/18(Thu)16:26:44 No.755831532 >Be me >Be walking down the street >Middle of the night >Look down >Realize the ashphalt is actually black sand >It's bubbling >Try to run >Slowly start sinking >Hear chanting >"Somebody once told the world is gonna roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed" looped >w--.exe >Chanting gets louder as my head gets closer to being engulfed >Screaming for it to stop >Wake up as my phone alarm is singing "AllStar but it's just the first two lines" >Bed is f------ soaked by my sweat >Changed my alarm to a normal beeping one ever since
: Anonymous 01/04/18(Thu)16:26:44 No.755831532 >Be me >Be walking down the street >Middle of the night >Look down >Realize the ashphalt is actually black sand >It's bubbling >Try to run >Slowly start sinking >Hear chanting >"Somebody once told the world is gonna roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed" looped >w--.exe >Chanting gets louder as my head gets closer to being engulfed >Screaming for it to stop >Wake up as my phone alarm is singing "AllStar but it's just the first two lines" >Bed is f------ soaked by my sweat >Changed my alarm to a normal beeping one ever since

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Anon goes to a virgin meetup | /r/Greentext

File: download.jpg (4 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 07/21/18(Sat)04:24:59 No.46945190 >Be me >Virgin, 24 years old >Social outcast, no friends >See this thing on the internet >"virgin meetup" >Had nothing better to do with my life so went to the address >Bunch of guys my age, all virgins >Hang around, talk about stuff >They're all pretty cool, stay there late >Look at my watch, I should probably go home >Walk towards the door to leave >They ask if I'm gonna come back another day >Yeah sure >wave goodbye See you later, virgins
File: download.jpg (4 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 07/21/18(Sat)04:24:59 No.46945190 >Be me >Virgin, 24 years old >Social outcast, no friends >See this thing on the internet >"virgin meetup" >Had nothing better to do with my life so went to the address >Bunch of guys my age, all virgins >Hang around, talk about stuff >They're all pretty cool, stay there late >Look at my watch, I should probably go home >Walk towards the door to leave >They ask if I'm gonna come back another day >Yeah sure >wave goodbye See you later, virgins

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Anon wishes he was on a submarine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)08:10:17 No.866502502 being on a submarine is so f------ gay. >massive, phallic shaped object >in an enclosed space with hundreds of smelly, sweaty men 33 КВ ЈPG >share an "unbreakable bond" with your crewMATES >sleep in the same room with 20 other men >eat food lovingly prepared by MEN >all are loyal to their beloved captain what else could they be doing down there for months at a time??
: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)08:10:17 No.866502502 being on a submarine is so f------ gay. >massive, phallic shaped object >in an enclosed space with hundreds of smelly, sweaty men 33 КВ ЈPG >share an "unbreakable bond" with your crewMATES >sleep in the same room with 20 other men >eat food lovingly prepared by MEN >all are loyal to their beloved captain what else could they be doing down there for months at a time??

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Anon gets a law degree | /r/Greentext


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Anon loses virginity. | /r/Greentext

i Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)09:59:24 No.844740211 >masturbating in bedroom >about to c-- >dad comes running in naked screaming >'and here comes dad from left field!! 83 KB JPG >he does a running jump >lands a------ first on my d--- >penetration.png >c-- >mfw he laughs and calls me a f----- for cuming in another guy EVERY F------ TIME
i Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)09:59:24 No.844740211 >masturbating in bedroom >about to c-- >dad comes running in naked screaming >'and here comes dad from left field!! 83 KB JPG >he does a running jump >lands a------ first on my d--- >penetration.png >c-- >mfw he laughs and calls me a f----- for cuming in another guy EVERY F------ TIME

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Anon is just dumb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)21:14:04 No.842264200 >be me >retard >never done drugs once in my life >friends and family all think I smoke weed every day >boss also thinks I show 27 KB PNG up high to work >nobody believes me when I tell them l'm just f------ stupid >mfw View Thread
: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)21:14:04 No.842264200 >be me >retard >never done drugs once in my life >friends and family all think I smoke weed every day >boss also thinks I show 27 KB PNG up high to work >nobody believes me when I tell them l'm just f------ stupid >mfw View Thread

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The cycle continues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)13:39:18 No.866465220 >spend long time specially looking for right vid that's over 20 mins long >close the tab after 3 minutes 4 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)13:39:18 No.866465220 >spend long time specially looking for right vid that's over 20 mins long >close the tab after 3 minutes 4 KB JPG

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Love you grandpa | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)13:31:05 No.850977444 >grandfather died before I was born >grandma lived a state away >never got to experience growing up with grandparents >eventually move out on my own >neighbors are an old couple >start getting to know them better 471 KB JPG >spend my days off with them >cook meals with the wife, share recipes >husband helps me with hobby projects, work on our cars together >feels like I finally have grandparents >leaving for work today >talk with the husband before I leave >"you have a good day at work, love you buddy" >love you too grandpa >mfw
: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)13:31:05 No.850977444 >grandfather died before I was born >grandma lived a state away >never got to experience growing up with grandparents >eventually move out on my own >neighbors are an old couple >start getting to know them better 471 KB JPG >spend my days off with them >cook meals with the wife, share recipes >husband helps me with hobby projects, work on our cars together >feels like I finally have grandparents >leaving for work today >talk with the husband before I leave >"you have a good day at work, love you buddy" >love you too grandpa >mfw

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